Welcome to softcore History. What is up? Welcome back to softcore History.
I am your host for the week, Rob Fox. I am joined as
always by Dan Jester, and not as always but Jacob Goldman, who is
not here. We have a special guest today. Hi. You know her.
She's been on before, Gabby Monte Mayor multiple times. I don't even
remember all of Jake's many absence. Yeah, Jake just keeps leaving. People
are probably wondering, is this even Dan? Without your mustache or beard?
The beard's already back. Really, it takes you like half a day to
grow that, to grow the stubble back. Yeah, that's not even stubble.
That's not stubble, that's beyond. That's like that's a just a tightly
shaven beard. That's not five o'clock shadow. That's like four day a shadow.
Yeah. Can you I don't think you can exist with out having a
beard at this point. No, it's kind of like when you press plato
together. Yeah, squeezes out. Yeah, it's only hair, Like if
you just shaved it, there would only be hammer a hairy man. Like
if someone had to do like where's the mustache? The people want the mustache
up yeah, would you do? It does look a lot better than your
chin. Yeah, I know, I like your I like your burns the
best, your grease burns. Did you guys know that Dan likes to cook
shirtless? I got significantly more burnt on my calf. You were doing the
most hot oil and no shirt great idea doing the most East Coast fucking things,
which is standing over a stove cooking a piece of meat in oil.
I feel like it is also like ten like I feel like it's like too
late. Yeah, he just got back from the gym at like nine to
the shower. But if I had eighteen ounces of rare beef right now,
yeah, yeah, you probably weren't cooking that long. I assume you ate
it medium rare. At work, it's always mediumaria. Yeah, because he's
an adult. I know. Okay, I thought you were like, I
don't even do media, but you know, plopped it. Butter just kind
of exploded when all over my side and my calf at least second degree burns.
It's gonna be a while before I recover. You have legitimately gruesome burns.
I just like you already toured my calf, so this leg has been
going through it. That's supposed to be my good leg anymore. Bade,
You've just have two bad legs, now, Lieutenant Dan Poor, I ain't
got no legs, sweet damn. But yeah, Jake is on. Jake
went on. Jake went on vacation to where he's from. Jake's on holidays
Florida thing. Yeah, do Floridians just go to on vacation to other parts
of Florida? I mean, in college, you got a Panama City when
you're four. I don't understand why he's not like him and his wife make
good money, Like why aren't they doing than Florida? Like why aren't they
going literally anywhere else the country? Yeah, go to Central America Florida so
you can do something else core anything else that's not Florida. Yeah, grow
up. I love Florida. I want to live there eventually again. But
we don't have a vacation there. Oh. Dan is counting down the days
so we can move back to Florida. I'm still trying to get the company
to move there. All right, Well yeah, good buck, I'll be
a remote worker if will you have to Florida our own podcast? Are you
talking about softcore history? Because I know I'm never moving softcore history to fucking
Florida. Oh well, you get outvoted by me and Jake. I could
I could keep an then shake to move to Florida here, so yeah,
but I already know his answer. It's it's a hard yess. It is
you just all you have to be is like Gators games and he's like a
cloud of smoke. And go to Big twelve UCF games. Loser twelve.
I can go for first off. Missouri plays here again, so I I
Austin actually has some value to me for once in the last ten years.
It has zero value to me again. Wipe it off the map. That's
fine. Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't really care. How's the comedy
seeing Gabby? Is it just blowing up? Oh, it's just blowing the
fuck up. It was in the La Times this week, big big news,
was it? There was they? I mean they were They got plenty
of things wrong. Um, it took some pictures of people I wouldn't have
taken pictures of. But it's all right. I mean, yeah, I
don't really give a shit. It's like there's enough for everyone. Have you
cold plunged with Joe Rogan yet? No, not yet. My knips get
too hard. I'm scared to do it in front of mixed company. Oh,
they don't kill Tony. I'm also scared of kill Tony, like I
I every because I've never done it, because I'd feel like I would go
up. And I just like the thought of the mob, like I don't
know, like finding out where I work or where I live or like,
I don't know, they're just that that group of the internet. Like it's
not good. I want to stay a little bit. That's most of the
Internet. I feel like a lot of people now just want to be friends
with the people they see. It seems outway stage or whatever it's I get
it. Like I don't like the comments that people give, like when they
come up to me after my set and then like they think that they can
like riff on the things that I'm talking about. I'm like, no,
I can talk about my vagina. You can't, like, don't like this
wasn't an invitation you ask you said, how wet is your pussy? And
I have some thoughts. Yeah, well you you mentioned your pH and I
just wanted to say that if you put garlic nodules in your cervix, then
it actually might like I was, it's called a joke and talking to a
witch doctor just people people think that they can just pick up the conversation like
where you left it off and you're like, yeah, you're hypothetical scenario,
but no, no garlic in my vagina, which is funny. That'd be
like if someone walked up to like, uh, I don't even know,
like what's her name, Amy Poehler and like talk to her like she was
Leslie. Nope, You're like, I'm not. That's like mostly me on
the stage, but it's not really me on this it is, but it
isn't. Yeah, I don't know. I just don't make it weird.
Aren't you used to that when they're like, oh, bacon. People don't
do that anymore. They put that all the time or whatever. I sadly
all of our TFM fans have fallen off. They're gone, they're gone,
they died, they're all forty, they're adults of kids. Internet Hans bends,
what a privilege. It's crazy here we are now Internet and now I'm
seeing, you know, Laser's going to Vegas with Georgio. Georgia's producing his
podcast, and I'm seeing the shit they're doing. They kind of stepped up
our trivia show why because they were doing it with blow jobs? Yeah?
Yeah, what so I need to get somebody and then we'll bring you your
wife Jake and his wife and wait, what's the blow job composed? So
the yeah, sure the photo. So Georgio went to Vegas with Uncle Laser.
You know who that is? Yeah, Uncle Laser. Uh did a
trivia show where he's getting a blowjob from Madison Morgan noted porn Star and that
every time they got a question wrong, they stopped, but as long as
they got the question right, they kept blowing. But then, oh that's
whole. That's a great that's Georgia. Georgia thought of it. Are you
gonna put this picture? This is great? People need to see Georgio's bringing
those ideas to Uncle Laser, who he's known for like a cup of calls,
what are you? And we've been home for three years now and it
doesn't give that idea to me. Their wives don't blow them at home.
Why would they do that for an audience? That's true. We ask really
hard questions. They don't have to. I get everything right. Courtney's mouse
is gonna get tired. If it's a history part, if it's a history
trivia quiz Corney, you're going for like twenty minutes before it's only m even
with the worst blow job in the world. Just for Courtney's sake, We're
only going to ask you about mixed martial arts. Yeah, you just tired
game. Probably get more about that than mixed martial arts. To be honest,
um, real quick, just to talk about it before we get into
this week's episode. We have a Patreon Patreon dot com slash softcore history where
we do two episodes, two extra episodes a week more an episode like this
kind of like a bonus episode whatever, and then we do either a watch
along or trivia contest or listener voicemails. Jake's not here and I don't remember
the phone number, but I believe it's in the discord that we also do
through Patreon voicemails and for the Patreon members. Anyway, the patrons know we
got a discord. For the Patreon members, you can kind of suggest topics
that we do give exclusively take their topics from. That's not true, not
this week from not to speak on Patreon. We actually talk about it.
It's just having you do their research. Now you are the poor, smarter
not well. Yeah, no, this week we talk about warrenge Harden's dick.
We do, we do. It's wonderful, it's a good dick.
I mean, he's a president. I'm not going to dishonor the office like
that. But yeah, patreon dot com slashed off Grace through five dollars.
And by the way, all the episodes, like this's not like a normal
you know that, you know this shows's not like a normal podcast. We're
talking about like like topical shit like this is all evergreen content. So you
get five dollars a month for a massive back catalog. Um. Also,
please leave reviews on Apple uh five stars, and then write a review and
then on Spotify just five stars. Both those things help us rank and all
that fun stuff. Today we have a really fun topic that I'm excited about
because I feel like you guys are two perfect people to speak about it with
both of you about hot people, kind of cool, kind of Um,
I guess I want to start this pot you even get into it, to
ask you a question, a sort of proof of concept. Um, I'll
start with you, Gabby, because you're a guest, but it'll be the
same question for you. How much are you willing to suffer for love?
Not a lot, honestly, not much, really minimal. Good. I'm
not even going to compromise. I'm not a good I'm not a good I
don't and I don't suffer silently. So if I'm suffering you, hearing me
suffer is also making you suffer, which is equally more annoying. Honestly,
single, I know that tells you everything you need to know. Yeah,
yeah, you're not willing to speed bump for love. No, no,
I mean me neither. So same same, same boat. Perfect, Then
you're gonna love this week's topic. Um, it's about suffering for love.
This is beautiful, it feels personal, but I'm exciting. This is actually
my second choice of topic, and I was gonna do something different, but
it involved playing media that might have rights involved with it. He's trying.
Yeah, he can't get cat so that's gonna have to go behind a paywall
in a couple of weeks. Uh. This story is about it's it's of
a tale about the French socialite Blanche Monnier love her name and how she would
do anything for love. Oh oh, what do you he's getting a blow
job during a trivia show. Yeah, that's a terrible name to just blas
oh, blanche blanch. You can say it like, you can say it
like your mouth is full of like comic ball, like you can do that.
You. Yeah, they don't even print, they don't pronounce it.
Work firm umbly. It's it's you can get through a lot of a as
I learned in high school. Less so in college because college is harder,
But in high school in particular, you can get through a lot of the
spoken part of a French test by just sort of like you heard that one.
There's one sentence where it's like you still have too much enthusiasm. It
needs to be you need to be apathetic. Yeah, what what do you
call it apathetic? When you Yeah, you always say apathetic. I never
correct. That makes you sound apathetic, like you sounding pathetic? All right,
you're you're apathetic, like you're ap or Yeah, you're a poor you're
apathetic. Yeah, you're apathetic. Fair If that's how, If that's what
you mean, then that's I'm all for that. You know, you're just
gonna revise. Yeah, it's not what he was doing. No history is
written by the winners. Okay, probably calls it home to pot too.
No, I'm not the targe mom, Tara. But that's like a style
stick choice. That's not mispronouncing. It mispronounced everything because there's floride in the
water. All right, we'll blame the floride. Yet again, that's your
death's fault. Well, yeah, he is part of the problem. Yeah,
he worked for the water company. He was a floride dumper. Right,
he's a floride shoveler. Yeah, just standing over the water tank with
a shovel, just shoveling fluoride like he's a cold guy in the ship.
Floride is one of those things where I hear things that it's like necessary and
then also bad, like it's also It's one of those things where it's like
some people are like, we need fluoride, and some people are like,
fluoride kills. I don't know what the good I don't know what the truth
is about floride. Toothpaste, Nah, Sam, water bro we eat too
much sugar. It's got to be the water. I try to just not
pay attention. I don't care. I don't care about any of it.
I actually don't know any of the conspiracies with floride in the water. I've
just heard it. I think it's a chemtrail situation, you know what I
mean, who did nine to eleven? Who cares? It's done, it's
done, it's done, Grow up, move on. It was forever ago.
Nine eleven can drink now, Yeah, nine eleven can runt a car
almost. I know I could date somebody even after nine eleven or right door
in nine to eleven, and yeah, I'll get some weird looks, but
no, you won't, especially now you can twenty two. You're thirty two,
that's fine, that's fine. Ten year gap, it's fine. I'm
dating someone fourteen years older than me, right now. Different in your thirties,
yeah, once you cross thirty, the age gap is negligible. I
mean, if anything, it's just like, yeah, like it would be
we called investments. Yes, once you're in your thirties, it's not weird
unless you're dating someone in their sixties. Yeah. Even then, people are
just like, I'm glad they're with someone. Yeah, it's fine. It's
I'm glad that first have a really good personality and that actually, wow,
it's so on topic for we love a good seg, Yeah, we're really
gonna do so Blanche Monnier might be and I'm not exaggerating, and I need
to get this out here first. The most attractive person from the eighteen hundreds
I've ever seen? Yeah, can I see she's hot? Let's show she
is as she's an eighteen seventies, fucking twelve stunning. She's like very symmetrical.
It's a good face, obviously share for the time. It's a little
bit of a bird's nest. But that's this the hairstyle of the time,
the hairstyle of the current time. She's a smoke show. This is an
absolute's attie. I want to look at her again. Yeah, go for
How did they have such clear skin back then? I don't know. Well,
it's just bad photos. It's just like blurry like mull photos. Yeah,
I have wandered that before. Been like, man, there must have
been like eighteen year olds like in the s in the Civil War or even
World War two, you know what I mean, like high school kids that
are in the army or whatever with just like inground cists. Oh my god,
just fucking nightmare. Faith, Can you imagine the last thing you see
is someone who looks like they have the face of a zombie bayonetting you because
they don't have a good skincare routine. No, they don't have any skincare
routine. Do you think they're gonna cleanse? They're not moisturizing. They're moisturizing
with dirt. Oh you know when people like strain and then like a pimple
just pops like on its own. But it's a nightmare. I think that's
something that people would be jarred by if they went back in time. I
don't I can't around like too many ugly people bump me out. It's just
like sad. I don't know. I mean, there's probably certain countries pretty
privilege is real. It is. There's probably certain countries you can go to
today where they're just like behind enough where that would be a good approximation of
what it would be like to go back one hundred years ago, like the
fucking dick North Florida, whatever part of Philly, it doesn't matter what part
of Florida. Everyone's hot. But I don't think that's true. They are
dangerous. I think the further way you get from a beach, the less
attractive you are, Like Inland Florida, nor it's not that far though,
I'm not talking about Indiana Nebraska. Listen, there's a lid for every pot,
you know, just because just because it's not your definition of pretty.
But like you can, you can acknowledge when someone has a symmetrical face and
a fine figure and like you know, no like gruesome, mis misfigurement or
mishap had a beauty mark. She's hot, she's beautiful. Absolute, that's
most Look her up, Dan, I actually Daniel put her if you watch
on YouTube, follow us on YouTube as well, Daniel picture right here,
yeah, in front of Dan's face. Um. So she was born to
a wealthy family of old nobility. Oh that's why she looks so good.
Well, of course with the step poor that said poor to you nothing the
oh a photo in the eighteen hundreds, she must have been. She was
born in eighteen forty nine in Poitier, France. Uh yeah, no,
one's ugly. Actually, people are just poor, it's true. Oh yeah,
have you seen Elon Musk before pictures? Yeah, you got hair plugs
or Tom Brady before pictures. Trolls yeh, Bridge trolls absolute dogshit yeh.
Can't be poor and being poor is your fault. Yeah, everyone's being ugly
is your fault. Everyone's about five hundred thousand dollars away from being hot.
Being a poor child, it's not your fault. Yeah, being poor adult
though, I mean at that point you're ugly. It's kind of on the
kid. Get a job, trickle down economics, but hot version. Well,
like, if you're a kid and you already have rent covered, get
a job, that's just wanted to spend baby, all right, you're living
rent free, take advantage of Brases are expensive, you're not paying for that
as a child. That's your parents. Parents are not well. You don't
get braces. Yeah, and if you have fucked up teeth, it makes
you ugly, yeah, they and they stay fucked up. Get in this
a line. Also not free or cheap. It's cheaper, right the metals
is it? Not? Really? And the metal is cheaper? Is the
metal cheaper significantly? Take a little hammer and just knock your teeth in for
let's listen to the guy with oil burns all over half a body cooked shirtless
iCal genius. I do get bracest for free, by the way. Cool,
okay, till us about the talker al got braces twice me too.
It sucked. I had them in like my senior you're my graduation pictures,
train tracks. How are those hook ups? Listen? I got really precise
and it's a skill that has served me well ever since they came off.
You ever have a rubber band snap off door a blow job? Now,
I would take them off like a fucking adult. Okay, well you weren't
an adult, but like an adult. I don't think an adults ever had
to do that. I feel like pop and I would just put them on
my pinkie. Could just be like a little reminder. Plenty of strippers out
there at like twenty five, twenty six, and we're getting bracest because they
can finally, Yeah, because they finally have like child support checks coming in
that they can get braces for themselves. Yeah, all right, we offended
enough people. Well not this audience. It's more just like you. It'll
be clipped later if you are ever in any position where someone can hurt you,
you know what I mean. I've got too many skeletons to run for
office. So yeah, you're fine, yeah, or well, it just
depends, like you just hope that more people more other pieces of shit,
run for office, where then you become bulletproof because everyone's horrible. Yeah,
we're at the end point. I think we are like what do you what
sticks? Oh my god? I know, like Alexandra Aoc is like dancing
video and she's wearing like a shirt and like a little pencil skirt, like
nothing sexy, and they're like, look at that horrid dancing. Meanwhile in
Finland, the last prime minister is like thirty and doing cocaine during her time
and office. Have you been doing it right? Yeah? I know,
having a party. She's like shove it in their faces. She was doing
a JFK style, which I respect. I think she's single too, She
is single. You need to get on that. Get to Finland. Yeah,
but she lost office. She has no power. She's just gonna be
rich forever. She can make she makes she can make money just speaking.
No banks not there, Yes, they don't really you have like a cap.
I think I think she's gonna be I think she's doing moderately. Well
you know so better than you? Is that we agree? You talking about
Dan? Just want a golf bet today? I was gonna say, what
gambling scenario has Dan? Dan is feeling very light today. I noticed Dan's
chipper mood. He is light on his feet because how much money did you
win today? A good amount? What's a good amount? Is there?
Is there one comma? Yeah, there's one comma. There's a comma.
That's cool. Good for you, Dan, I'm happy for you. Your
net net worth just tripled today. How do I feel? You don't know
how much money I make? I know pretty close. I'm not business savvy.
You're not. I think you could just say savvy. I think you
could just end it at savvy, no business required. Oh fuck? So
uh. Around the time Blanch turned I assume nine, everyone was like,
God, damn this chicker. Oh my god. It's always it's always like,
oh are those breastbuts oh, this is gonna take a really really dark
turn. Baby, come on, well, I'm putting the nine in there.
I'm just saying like, probably about this, it's going to take.
People were like, I want to fuck her? Is this gonna be a
pokehonas turn? She wishes? Oh no, poor blanch Uh back and listen
to that episode of Really Happened Too? Wishes? No, I'm sure she
wants to be left alone everyone. No, actually she doesn't wish that everyone
wanted to marry this chick, between her being from a famously noble, wealthy
family and that she was insanely attractive. Um, I mean she looked like
she wasn't from Earth for that time period, Like, she looks like she's
a fucking angel. She is really pretty, and she she's basically borderline famous
in certainly this area of France, you know what I mean. So as
she was also known as both she had a good personality, too, playful
joyance. Although did she have a good personality or was she just so hot?
People are like she's hilarious. It's always the latter, Like everyone's like,
oh, Julia Roberts is so funny. It's like, no, she's
just hot and laughs good Like that's doesn't that doesn't make her funny? That
do you believed that hot people can be good comedians? Listen, I was
ugly as a child, and that's what I like to channel personally. Um,
at the age of twenty seven, after years, you've an old man,
now, Yeah. I thought this age was kind of a weird one
for her to have lasted that long. But I think as she's single at
this point, I think she was just she had her She had a lot
of suitors had lost she had her pick, right, and it's hard.
It's hard to choose when you have too many options, right, It's like
what flipping through digital cable with one hundred thousand channels, Like I just watched
Pride and Prejudice and the older sister who's hot. She's just like, Oh,
there's just so many men out there. It's just so much fun.
I don't want to end the season yet. Like she just is like wants
to be a hoe and she's just like, it's just so fun to be
getting gifts from all these gentlemen. And I think that was Blanche's situation.
But yeah, twenty seven, we were kind of knocking on at twenty seven
though, starting to expires taken, she finally found the one. Was he
old and rich? He was a lawyer. Okay, good start, and
she was in love. Unfortunately this lawyer was two things, only one of
which you mentioned. He was only rich but not no, no, he
was old, oh but not rich, but he was poor and poor.
Old boy. You can't be both. Oh no, you can't be both.
Girl. He's a failure. Girl. Although the thing is like poor
guys, fuck the best. It's a it's a known fact, is it.
It's true, it's a known fact. If he doesn't have a car,
he eats pussy royal good the best. Yeah, because it's more desperate,
it's hungrier, because it's like I might not be able to get home
after this, So you need to make her really a big fan so that
she'll order you an uber and not just like pitch you outside with your stuff.
Right, it makes sense. Yeah, listen, I've fucked my fair
share of losers and the poor ones, the ones with no comma in the
bank account. Really, it's the most fun work, it's the most fine.
Soon as they start getting money, gets lazy, boring, gets predictable,
they like they just want to do it once and then they're like,
that's it because they're not getting off to you anymore. Yeah, they don't
need you. Poor guys need you. They have no money, they have
no resources, they have no option. They might need a roof. They
Yeah, that's the whole the reason they're with you. They're not they love
you. They're sleeping over because they have no choice, and that, as
a woman, is a good, powerful place to be. Although, yeah,
you do want a guy with a car and a job. Ladies take
all four women my sister included, take long term though, but you know
every ladies can be freaks too. One night week, you want the poor
guy. It's it's a it's a fun it's a fun detour to two.
In your twenties, fuck poor you Mary rich? Yeah, yeah, you
rebound poor and rend No, once you hit your thirties, you rebound rich.
Oh yeah, okay, things change, okay, all right, as
you start to expire, Yeah, you have to make different choices, right,
as your ovaries become raisins. Yeah, the smell of rotting eggs starts
to become your whole rights, it's important to fuck responsibly. I understand that,
well, I understand the logic of it. I don't obviously as a
man, I don't understand aging. You're saying, no reckless rebounding in your
thirties, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, it's too risky. You
don't. You just don't have the time. It's too risky. Right,
It's like it's like it's like taking a lazy three late in the game,
right when you need good possessions shot. Right, you can't take bad shots
late in the game, like you don't need to be throwing hell Mary's I
think you can save that for the forties. But like you're like you're thirty.
You got to make strategic incremental move right guaranteed. Yeah, you can't
be moving in one direction? Yeah, yeah, yeah you can't. All
right, respect, I have job, gotta have a car um unless no
less? What is the inch to car ratio? We'll go back. Let's
say that for the Patriot, wee, we'll get there. He's just gonna
draw it. And if you'll notice up here in the Northern Hemisphere has to
be as big as Rims that he spent money on. No, I,
no car, no car. I don't like it. Too nice of a
car, you get nervous. It's like a BMW no, like it can
be an expensive car, but not too nice of like modification. Yeah,
Rims, that to me is like that is an aftermarket that is an enhancement,
but it's not nice. Yeah, you could throw Rims on a Toyota
like weird lights, like what are we doing right? Right? You spent
money on it, but it's not nice. Sound systems. Yeah, you
could spend money on you know, ten septum piercings, but that doesn't mean
you look better, you can spend. Can you feel the base? Can
you feel the base? Doesn't make you rich. I'll bring it back to
dad's gambling problems. So it doesn't say, but I have to assume she
maybe fell in love for this guy for one of three reasons, the old
poor lawyer. She either had immense daddy issues, um or Mommy, no,
the mommy issues are going to happen, don't warn um. This guy
was an absolute silver fox, just like the best fucking guy. Or he
was just charming. It's all I think it's. It's and or like it's
yeah, I think it's I think it's you pick probably two of those three.
There's like a ratio, maybe all three. But yeah, So it
didn't matter because it didn't matter that she was in love with them because she
came from a wealthy family of note, and her mother um insisted that Blanche
could not marry this penny penniless old guy, could not marry him. She
needn't marry someone, you know, from her own level of wealth or wealthier
ideally wealthier day in your strata right, or because here's the thing, like
when you're at a certain level, Oh, women do not date down.
No, they do in their twenties. But you can't marry you don't.
You don't marry that. You can't. You don't. In the Notebook,
when the mom drove Rachel McAdams to the fucking like stone yard, we're just
oh, ye men, we're breaking stones or whatever, and she's like that
fuck that guy, yea one summer and I loved him. They're not an
idiot. Yeah, right now, I just have like a hidden album of
all the yes you do or oh I do. One day, one day
I'll cast it on the Apple TV for my daughter and say, look at
that guy, look at that guy, look at those tattoos. Wasn't that
stupid? You should if your daughter pisses you off as you're dying, you
should pull a Benjamin button. But lie, you know, and be like
this is your real and like just show up just like inflict a lifetime.
People. People really didn't give it up as I'm walking out of the world.
Yeah, people really didn't give Gwyneth Paltrow's character enough credit for being a
huge piece of shit for telling her daughter on her deathbed during her acane Katrina
that her real her that her father who raised her was not her real father.
That's such a bomb to drop, Like, just keep it, yeah,
keep that to take one in the grave. Yeah that's what. Yeah,
you held it this long? What now? What? What? The
best case scenario is she's a scientist, let it die with you and can
research aging backwards. But she wasn't. She was just a regular lady.
Yeah, no, not helpful in any way. No mothers. Mothers have
been fucking up their daughters for as long as they've existed. Yeah, we
always shift blame to the father. It's it's the mom. Listen, they're
both at fault. It's mostly in my case. Fair enough. Yeah,
um so how funk? Where was I? Okay? So her mom was
like, you can't marry because you can marry up right, if you're rich,
if you're verchs are you can jump a class, you can jump off
and hot and it's acceptable. Like, no one a family from a higher
class isn't gonna be like you, you know what I mean, Like they're
like all right, especially because she's hot. She's hot. Yeah, she's
from a good enough family and she's a smoke show. I've been jumped over,
Like the dude from Greece that Vince Carter just leaped and dumped on,
just got froggered over better to better dudes. I thought he's Greek, Now
it's French. But yeah, I know you're talking about he dragged someone dragged
their nuts across your friend. So and that's and I kind of get it
right, you get it. How could you not get it? No,
your place, she had more you know, value. So I understand she
had more value. What that's what I'm saying. She hopped me. She
wanted more value? Oh yeah, yeah that was too poor. Okay,
yes, and that makes sense. Tales time, more things change, the
more this did the same. But I have to ask you, because you're
both seeing her picture and know her background. Now, does Blanche look or
seem like someone who is forced to do a lot of things she didn't want
to do? No, she starfishes in what way? She's hot and rich?
I mean, no bad? Do you think she did a lot?
Do you think she was Do you think she she's got soft hands? Yeah,
she did whatever she wanted to. No valuable skills probably, but like
you know, she has valuable skills for like a socialite, Like she's probably
good at like embroidery or violin or a good hang. Yeah, she like
can flower range like a bitch. Ye can read, is literate. Yeah,
she's a tid so doesn't like to though, I don't like to,
but can but am here's the things. She didn't read a menu, right,
it's not like some peasant girl who she can order who's hot. Yeah,
it's a classy thing to know how to order. Yeah, but she's
gonna order too much. You're gonna look at the bit but no, it's
too much if you're poor, right, No such thing as too much back
then. But for this guy. This guy's probably sweating every order she has.
She's like, no, babe, don't worry. I got it.
Yeah, she's putting on the card, but like you're getting the bone arrow
and the oysters. She's like, no, I'll pay for it because I
work and I can and I love you. She doesn't work. I'm mixing
me in Blanche up. Yeah, going back, I mean, I get
it. I understood it was that it's personal. Yeah, like that direct
deposits isn't going to hit until let's asday. So Blanche refused her mother's demands.
She was going to marry this man. Love is love, God damn
it. It doesn't matter who he is. Weird love and that's it.
He probably didn't even love her. No, I think he did. Uh
he I'm pretty positive he did. I mean, look at her first off.
Yeah, but like you don't think he saw gravy like a meal train,
meal train. This is gonna butter and I think that the I think
she was so attractive that the money was almost irrelevant. Like she's attractive to
us now, but it's not irrelevant. It's there, he's I think,
but Okay, you're a dude's dick can't see more than five feet in front
of its own face, you know what I mean. Like it's like it's
like walking in a room that's pretty dark. I fuck you, even if
you were poor, baby, I think, looking like I'm sucking you because
you're rich. Looking like that in that time period, I's definitely not pulling
out. Nor does she have kids. Spoiler We'll get to that. Okay,
So I'm just kind of before we get into it, sincing he is
a gigantic piece of shit. The poor man, yeah, yeah, or
the yeah, the lawyer yeah, Okay, I'm just gonna call this now,
like she you know, makes the move to do the right thing,
go for love. But then he just turns into abusive and just maybe I
said, this is what happened. Maybe pimps her out or something. Yeah,
okay, here's the next plot point. She says, Mom, no,
I'm marrying this Man's nothing you can do about it. So her mom,
Daddy, I love him, locks her in the attic and is like,
I am not letting you out of here until you promise you won't marry
this guy. I'm just you gotta say, you gotta stay in time out
until you won't until you admit that you know this is wrong. The attic
in the eight there's no there's no cooling, heat rises, there's no cooling.
It's pretty dark, and it's pretty grows. It's a really gruesome punishment.
Yeah, and she's twenty seven. Yeah, yeah, move out.
Yeah, you've some of that money. Well, she locked her in there.
Um, So fast forward to twenty five years later, Blanche is still
in the attic. No what what what? Yeah? So she's in solitary.
So she's just like pooping in a bucket and getting like cheese sent upstairs
and just living in the attic. At least some good cheese though, Just
lie, what the yeah, yeah, mommy, I'm not going to marry
him. Also, that cheese is gonna clog you up, so you're not
gonna poop less, and it'll be a more pleasant living experience. And I
assume a bucket would have been nice. Cheese clogs you up? Dad,
No, it doesn't opposite. Yikes, Lie, that's too long. Just
lie. Just tell your mom what she wants to hear. Just do what
everyone dies. He's a woman of the principle. Yeah, mom, I'm
in class today. Yeah, Blanche is still in the attic twenty five years
later, never left, never gave up her love. He's dead now,
yeah, oh yeah, yeah, so uh it's nineteen oh one, twenty
five years later, the turn of the century. He died in eighteen eighty
five. And she has no idea. What a fool. She's got more
money than sence. I'll tell you what. Twenty five years though, we
should be known a lot of push ups. I would give up. I
mean, she's just yoked. I wouldn't make it a week. My my
morals and values would last exactly how much? How in love could you be
with a man versus can't be that in love. If he's not rich,
I'll tell you that. How long would you spend locked in an attic to
keep your pets alive that long? Less than a week? Yeah, less
than a week. I love them so much and they have lots of years
left. Your dogs close to that. I wasn't asking you. I know
you wouldn't at all her because with Milo and Cheeto freedom freedo. Sorry,
he's gonna live another ten years. He's probably gonna outlive you, outlive you
maybe and most likely well, but the choices you make making hot meat shirtless
give it up for hot mate. Yeah, no, I would. I
would do like a long week and chops and then I would lie. All
my morals and values would go out there, right. I would marry whoever
she wanted, You're right, Mom, that was stupid, or just lie
and then run away with them. I would just be like mom, I
was, I was having my monthly is I was pre menstrual syndrom ing like
make anything but Blanche, like I said, what gets her way? What
an idiot? Except for this time? So maybe wondering how the Monier family,
who was famous and she's not their only child? Is she? No?
No, she has a brother. You might be wondering how the family
who was famous for being rich and ain't like an ancient French noble family,
like long, long line, how they got away with not having their daughter
around. Yeah, how they're what they How they explained their famously attractive daughter
appeared off seeing the world. They were like, oh, yeah, she
left and we don't know where she went, and we're super bums about it.
This is a crime. And everyone was like that would work though,
Yeah, everyone was Damn that sucks. That's such a bummer. She's so
hot. Yeah, it's like it's like a wooden like teen pregnancy when they're
like, yeah, she's away at camp, and it's like she's having a
baby at at like slut camp. Yeah, poor camp, poor camp.
Oh my god, that's a huge crime. Yep. Gross, we'll get
to it. And neither of her parents liked her then, yeah, pretty
much. And they're saving money because they could have just entered a mental institution.
Yeah, yeah, her off to a baron, Like they could have
advanced their family. That's the thing. It's like, if they really wanted
to, they could have made her marry someone and just you know you,
I feel like in that time, like they just but like they didn't even
want her to that badly. They wanted her to want to and so they
wanted to punish her by locking her in the app like like they ultimately wanted
her in the attic more than they wanted anything else out of her. I
kind of think, I mean, look, you can't discount the fact that
they were all insane. Probably maybe certainly, Yeah, fucking your cousin for
generations will do that too, right, So everyone else was also sad about
her disappearance when it happened. And I have to assume again it was Jeff
because she was hot. Where can the same way? She was like super
hilarious and cool, A true ten, right in all senses. Yeah.
So in the meantime, wait then she emerges and she's in her fifties.
Yeah, we'll get to that. In the meantime, as Blanche lived in
the attic, the family, yeah right, as a woman. So,
as Blanche lived in the attic, the family just went about their lives.
The father, who though he was dead by nineteen oh one, he headed
a local arts faculty. The mother was renowned for her charity work. She
won an award from the Committee of good works, and the son, Marcel,
graduated law school and was worked in the government like as a pretty legit
official four years. She would have said that the son was Marcel Masso,
the mime, the famous mime, Marcel Mysel, you know, the mi
the guy that didn't fucking speak up. That was her brother, didn't He
couldn't talk. He couldn't talk. That's against the mime code. He did.
He took an oath. He took a oath. He actually never reveals
their tricks of mime. Says, no shit, he does have a good
reason for not talking. I mean, well, yeah, what's he gonna
do. Get in the attic with her. We'll get We'll get to that.
Yeah, so um, all these will get to that. So really
yeah, well you're guessing, not guessing, You're in close to a lot
of things. So I'm just say so. Like I said, the fiance
died unexpectedly in eighteen eighty five, sixteen years earlier, and then she just
stayed up. Well, I don't think they told her at that point.
Of course they did it because they didn't even care what she did. I
just wanted her in the attic. She'd been in the attic for you know,
yeah, because at least when he dies, she has no there she
journaling. Does she have a diary? Is Anne frank situation? No,
because Anne Frank had light. Oh no, Anne Frank could see. Anne
Frank had hope. I don't know what. Yeah, there were sources of
light. And Anne Frank's attic. I'm trying to I'm trying to channel my
inner jew for Jake, and I joke to say it's very Jewish of me
actually say it's uh yeah, so she was the time she's attic was pitch
black. No. Um. She also she can't do embroidery, You can't
yeah, play piano, none of it. And at some point they never
like gave her new clothes or her clothes sort of rotted away. Yeah.
Um. So then one day, randomly out of the blue, in nineteen
o one, the Paris Attorney General received an anonymous letter mhm. It read,
Monsieur Attorney General, I have the honor, which seems like a weird
adjective, to inform you of an exceptionally serious occurrence. I speak of a
spinster who is locked up in Madam. When she got in there in Madame
Monier's house, half starved, and living on a putrid litter for the past
twenty five years. So her parents at this point are like in their seventies
holding on for spite and her dad's dead. Her dad's dad, what a
bitch fuck her mom right, she is living in a word, in her
own filth. The police saw this letter and they're like, what, like
the best family in Pier they do all this charity work and shit, they're
super respectable. Sounds weird and fake. Whatever happened to the hot chick Epstein?
He's such a supporter of the art, he does all these children's charity.
We love him in Florida. What do you mean there's something going on
at his house? Ghost will check it out. As the police were like,
I guess we'll check it out. I mean, this seems fake,
like a shitty hoax, but we'll check it out Hot Chick. But essentially
they were they decided to check out because the initial disappearance was such a bummer
because Blanche was so hot. Yeah, that Ramsey of her time kind Yeah,
excep. I feel like she wishes she got Jean ban A Ramsey to
be honest, do you think she's still alive? Robbie she's still in that
closet. Yeah, Blanche is still there to this day. She's decrepit.
That's why the sun kills you. You gotta stay out of the sun.
Shade will keep your eyes. She's actually rooted into the floorboards. She's a
tree now, she's a tree person. Grandmother Willow from Pocahonas. That's who
she became. So the cops showed up to the Monier home and there's no
one there at the time, so they busted in and as soon as they
got into the house, it smelled real bad. Even from nineteen o one,
it smelled real bad. So imagine from nineteen o one being like human
human human filth. I think a bucket would have been nu it would have
been nice us my thought, check your privilege, Yeah, check your bucket,
prillig. Oh what does she do with her period? They would I
would journal on with my period blood personally on the wall, leave notes.
Yeah. They followed. The police followed the smell up stairs until they found
a pad locked door. They broke through that, but the room was still
pretty black from I mean like the hallways, not windows in the hallway,
So the rooms still pretty dark. So they go to the window, there's
heavy, heavy curtains on it. So they finally find a way to rip
down the heavy curtay. They couldn't just tear them off right, like they
do some shit with hinges and stuff to get it off. Back when police
were helpful, they would never. Now they would never. They're like,
oh, let me call my wife before I go put these kuttins down.
I'm scared. Can I have a joke? Yeah, I appreciate that.
Or I guess homie, they just got put on. Oh yeah, the
guy who, yeah, pick up pick a scenario where cops botched it.
Uh yo? The guy who from the Parkland shooting just kind of parking officer
for the high school who just sat outside in the parking lot behind a barrier
taking cover. What kids are getting lit up? Or like yeah, or
like all the pictures of the Givaldi cops just like on their phones can't even
with the punisher as their phone lits are lost on. This is like your
fucking Super Bowl and he just not up or shut up, and you didn't
ut up, so shut the fuck up. Yeah. So back when cops
did stuff, they ripped some curtains down, so they had to. I
think it was like they had to like break hinges and stuff, so it
wasn't just like a normal cloth nineteenth century hinges. These are no, no,
they don't sucking around. And so finally sunlight poured into the room and
this is what they found. And Blanche goes kind of oh no, who
they found? Okay, Oh my god, Gabby reacting to the Big five
reaction, yeahs delviet to see it all right, let me see stop hogging
at Gabby pass it. I'd imagine her nails are gonna be for long.
The Barbarian there's a movie where it's like, a, what a shame?
Really ruined that one? How does she? I mean a she's like no
fat on her body at this point? Yeah, so she weighs fifty five
pounds in that picture. Okay, it's called barbarian In this movie? Was
she eating like her own hair? Do you like? Stay alive? So
her mother wouldn't give her her full meals. She would just bring the scraps
up from the meals she ate and give them to her daughter. It's a
testament to the human body, though, being able to survive on such little
nutrients. I wonder what her macros are like your hip bones literally sticking out
of her body. Yeah, that's why, like Audrey Happern, that's why
she was so skinny for the rest of her life, because she was in
concentration camps during puberty and she never really like gained the ability to gain Audrey
hepburn was. Yeah, that's why she was so thin. That's why she
was so thin for her whole life because like she basically like she didn't get
her period till she was like seventeen or something, right, and so during
her like woman years, she was just like fucking eating nothing. Yeah,
all right, and now for the YouTube the reveal right here, right here.
But did you have y'all seen that movie of the Barbarian No, not
yet spoiler alert. Looks just like that girl. So that is Blanche Monier
at fifty two years old and fifty five pounds. Poor thing. This is
what the policeman who was on the scene described. One of the police scene
described the unfortunate woman was lying completely naked on a rotten straw mattress. All
around her was a form was formed, a sort of crust made from excrement
fragments of meat, vegetables, fish, and rotten bread. We also saw
oyster shells and bugs running across Mademoiselle Monier's bed. The air was so unbreathable,
the odor given off the rooms so rent in the room, so rank,
that it was impossible for us to stay any longer to proceed with our
investigation. Are literally like, I'm like sweaty, like I want to cry
for her. That sucks. I'm just trying to take in the smell right
now. I don't like it. Not great. Blanche had been there for
twenty five years, like I said, only fed scraps from what her mother
didn't want to eat. The room was never cleaned. Blanche was, oh
no, they didn't give her any new clothes as far as I know.
The mattress was soaked through with piss and poop and the hamster. The entire
room, including Blanche, was covered in bugs and the rats everywhere too.
There had no no, no, no, I was actually I already so
inside some inside baseball here on the step on inside uh softwore history um.
Usually after we record these on Sunday night Monday morning in our little text thread,
uh Dan will ask for a title in a description. Typically we think
of the title like kind of on the spot then, but I already have
a title for this episode. Okay, don't spoil it. I want to
find out tomorrow. No spoil it. I was gonna tell you I'm not.
In the text side, it's love loses. Oh, love doesn't conquer.
I'm gonna workshop that love loses, Love conquers one, love conquers some
love takes and a big l here, right, love wins love for love?
Yeah, what a loser. If only she married for They for money
and appearances like normal person, right yeah, right, loves not that great,
No, plus Disney movies for this, but this is her own full
more money than since the guy died halfway through. Halfway through. And that's
the saying. Her mom didn't even give up. It wasn't about their heads
up. It was about entrapment. It's about the power of having a lady
locked into your attic and also like it ruined her life, like it ruined
Blanche's life, but it also ruined the moms, Like I don't think it
ruined the moms well, because the mom can't entertain. You can't have people
over when your daughter is shitting in a straw mattress upstairs, like it it's
you can't cover that. They got up there. They were just like,
why does it stink so bad? So like your mom social cleaning? The
mom social life is over. Yeah, they and they have to have slaves
or workers or like people are people are cleaning their own house. Ye,
people are ignoring this. No one's talking about people. We'll get to that.
What do we get? Oh no, there's so many we'll get to
that in this episode. Yeah. So when they found Blanche, she couldn't
really speak that well anymore. She was just kind of uttering nonsense. Not
that she couldn't speak French or whatever, but she was uttering a lot of
nonsense. Have y'all seen mel that of a movie with Jodie Foster where it's
kind of like that and she's just like she can't talk and she's like,
look at Google. No, that is how my toddler talks. So he's
like, it's like it's like that, like they like lock her up and
she's never really developed normal. Yeah that sounds right. Yikes. I have
not your son. Okay, no, no, he's twelve and he's probably
still has more money than Dan. Well yeah, of course, because yeah,
yeah, Robinton's on ain't more money than me yeah, but grandparents probably
have opened a couple of bank accounts. And well this is where No,
we've had this conversation so many times. You said, make more money than
you. I don't make more money than you, know, but I have
more. Yeah, it's not about making it more wealth than you. Wealth
is a state of mind. All right. That's a poor thing to say.
That's a poor person. And Georgia always say we have a poor brain.
We don't know how to poor brain. You've got poor bank account,
you make poor choices. I disappointed my parents a lot. Uh, your
parents are gonna die and I'd be in the attic. Then you'll be rich,
and then you'll be rich. How many siblings do you have? How
many people? See? I gotta split it four ways and my parents have
My dad needs to stop having children. I being courting your tops the other
day. Uh snip snip about how about fuck I forget? Who oh is
about Alpaccino and Robert Janniro having kids again and how they're the sibling must be
pissed off. And I was talking about how I had a friend who was
quite well off. Uh still is family is still quite well off and her
dad uh out of the Blue remarried and like was like, I'm totally in
love and I want to have a kid. And she was like, you're
fucking fifty. This was like ten years ago. It's like you're fucking fifty
and like privately to me and she was like that, like it's just me
and my sibling. It's gonna yeah, no, stop taking away my name
planning, Like Dad, we don't work. It's literally my dad where it's
like I have a sister, we're two years apart. And then my dad
has two sons. So I was sixteen when the oldest boy was born,
who's now sixteen, and my dad, who's now sixty, hasn't eight year
old. And so I'm like, stop slicing my inheritance. He'll be seventy
when he graduates high school. Yeah, yeah, your dad fucks. My
dad focks way too much. Strong swimmers. Well, the problem isn't that
your dad fucks. Problem is that your dad the problems that my dad doesn't
pull out, right, he's a doctor, he should know how he freeze's
act to me, probably he doesn't really have to. Like he's like I
got it, worry. He's like I know, He's like I can smell.
You're not actually ovulating. So it is hilarious how much harder it is
to get pregnant when you want to, when you want to. Yeah.
Yeah. Meanwhile, if you're twenty one on antibiotics, things happening. A
lot of things happen. Things happen, punch cards get punched. The best
way to get is to have sex with a seventeen year old with the future.
It's the best way to get an abortion. Yeah, that too straight
trip, not that I know of. Yeah, No, that's such a
nice I love that men can say that. That's such a that's so nice
to be like, not that I know of. Oh, we had this
great theory for Dan have we talked about on this show. Probably not just
rehash. Yeah, where Dan doesn't pull doesn't use condomns or pull out,
but his he and he doesn't even believe in birth control. But he presents
as such a piece of shit that the children, the women won't want to
raise a child with him. It's like that who was it that politician that
was like, oh, if it's really rape, then your body will shut
it down. I believe that was Missouri's todd Ach. And if it's Dan's
baby, your body will make sure this doesn't No, no, no,
he'll get her pregnant, but she just won't want to bring the child,
just want She's like, what am I, what's he gonna do? Venmom?
Like in sports gambling money, give me, give me token on fucking
draft kings. You can't buy grand parenthead doesn't accept draft kings tokens. Yeah,
it's gonna take too much, too many, like direct deposits in two
to three business day wire waiting periods. And by the way, there will
come a time when you can use your gambling account to pay for an abortion,
and I feel like that is ten years an I bet. I mean
because sports betting is about to be legal in Texas. But so that's going
to be the old that's going to be the loophole of like if you,
if you use your draft kings account, get fifteen percent off your next abortion,
use promo code, sports boards, sports flush that sucker out. Yeah
he ol Mary No. So Blanche's mother was immediately arrested. She fast to
the crime. Oh, she gets to decay from one year in jail until
she confessed to the crimes, and in a fit of hysteria, died fifteen
days later, Yeah, got off easy. As the doctors recalled, she
cried out her dying words were, ah my poor Blanche stuck off mom.
Yeah, she's playing the victim. My palm, Blanch, you kept her
up there. They should have stolen her youth the god they should have again,
I'm guessing they should have William Wallace this woman, h yeah, probably
they should have should have been publicly disembowled. Yeah, yeah, drawn and
quartered eighth sixteenth. By the way, guillotine was still in play at this
point. They were public they would they should quillotine and then shrink her head
like they do in Jamaica, and then give it to Blanche to put as
like an ornament on her gillotine her lins. Well, yeah, guillotine the
limbs first and then head last. Blanche starts eating it like I haven't had
this much protein in twenty eight years. Yeah, and Blanche was about that
level of sanity at this point her. So she probably just made noises.
Blanche she didn't just make noises, thankfully, but she wasn't great. We'll
get to that. If she had journaled with her period blood, maybe she
would have kept her sanity. I agree. There's you gotta find ways to
keep saying you gotta have you gotta make art for the sake of art.
Yeah, just make art art. That's bugs and straw and menstruation. I
kind of think that, like if I could go back in time and I
was offered two things, One to be able to save Blans just take her
out of the room, or two to give her the advice make art a
pen, Give her a pen and a leather bound journal. Get bootstraps.
Yeah what I mean, just leave it on like a bird, just drop
up. How much more rewarding for her would that be? Look what happened
to Anne Frank? You know your story gets out? You may not,
but your story. Well, so she's technically immortal. H you only die
when the last personae twice. Yeah, so she's still alive beautiful. Uh
she's not though, but very very real. Quick Before we keep on with
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All right, let's get back to you. A woman who needed Blanche's
brother, Marcel, was also tried for the imprisonment good. He was initially
convicted, but then he shook some hands, but he got out on a
French legal loophole. Love a good loophole. If you're good enough, Miam,
he can. Yeah, he'd take your trades through the streets. It's
like, I'm already in jail. I'm in a clear glass box. He
did kind of essentially make this face and got off. Oh no, So
here's what happened. So at the trial, he said he only helped imprison
his sister out of respect for his mom. She was his mom when he
had just fallen. Orders. Yea, she had to do what she said.
Hitler said, what do you want me to do? But he also
claimed that Blanche was insane and never tried to escape. She liked it,
Yeah, she liked it. Yeah, it wasn't if it was really raped,
she would have said stop more than twice. Right. A stop sign
has eight sides, so you need to stay stay stop at least eight times.
Oh my god, is that did you come up with that? Right?
Now? Yeah? Okay, I wasn't sure if that was like a
thing people said, or if that was just I'm sorry, I'll let you.
I let you in too deep to the bro I don't know. It's
all rape. It's all rape to me. I don't want to be here
for any of it. But according to court testimony, and this is where
things get weird, to be honest. According to court testimony, several witnesses
claim that they often heard Blanche screaming and pleading from the house, including clear
mention of words such as police, pity, and freedom. On August sixteenth,
eighteen ninety two, nine years before she was found, one witness heard
Blanche scream the following words. Now, keep in mind everyone thought Blanche was
gone. Yeah, but one witness was like, I did hear woman who
sounded exactly like the woman that was missing, screaming from the home she was
missing from. Uh, she heard her screaming the falling words. What have
I done to be locked up? I don't deserve this horrible torture. God
must not exist then to let his creatures suffer in this way and no one
come to my rescue. By the way, this is fucking like she got
very French. Yeah, this is seven years after her her fiance even died.
Like maybe maybe it was the wind. Yeah, also very French of
her. Did not kill herself and just kind of live in the filth.
They kind of enjoy the squalor a little bit though, the suffering. Yeah,
did she at least get just like well, not cosplaying anymore, but
yeah, did she at least get cigarette? I don't think you. I
don't think she could smoke and just be like I don't care, Oh cigarette
switch and I mean that would that is how you stay skinning back? Now?
Yeah, I mean, I'll be honest. She looked pretty bad in
that last in the picture when they found her, but she did keep her
figure. I mean she kept yeah, heard eight year old figure? Yeahs
would you post attic blanche while she's into some stuff and we'll get to that.
Um. But the judges decided that Marcel uh should go free, though,
even even though he helped his mother imprisoner and was honestly the muscle to
imprison his sister, because a quote unquote duty to rescue did not explicitly exist
in the French legal quote. Sure, so like there's nothing doesn't say we
should remove my sister from this attic concentration camp. Attic. We put her
in, right, so we can't try you for a law that doesn't exist.
Yeah, so he got to leave, he got to go free.
Cool. So no accomplice laws, no, none of that, none of
that. He was just following orders French. What nothing faith the company.
Yea, yeah, yeah, that sounds French. Blanche meanwhile, lived out
her days in a psychiatric hospital in Blah, France. Wow, air conditioning,
food, beds, five star accommodations, two of those things. It
was before. Thanks to her quarter century of imprisonment in total darkness, it
turns out she had gone a little bit crazy, a little you don't say
slow. She get like cataracts. She was frightened of light for a long
time. Yeah, it will be scary. Yeah, after twenty seven years
without it, she was diagnosed with several disorders after being found that likely hysteria.
They ran. How long were her nails? Yeah? Pretty much?
What how long were her nails? I guess she was chewing on them or
something, because they were They weren't like the curls. No, no,
no, they weren't doing yet. Huh. So she could have used her
period blood to write. She could have. But if you're not, if
you're not creative, you're not creative. But like, you know, create
creat make art. Like I said, I would go back having to say
you're like, I could free you or you could free your mind. What's
more important? Yeah, you can read prove it? Uh, She was
diagnosed with several disorders that likely manifested during her imprisonment, including anorexia. Sure
so, but she was fed so little that she didn't want it. Her
stomach shrank fucking wa Yeah, but they also they were feeding she had a
proto Latin. They were feeding fish bones, right, Yeah, so she
couldn't eat essentially. Um. She also became schizophrenic. Yeah, you don't
say oh oh oh. Having friendships when you live alone in an attic sounds
like another yet another survival mechanism. She had become sort of feral and prone
to flash herself to people. Man, you know what, catch me on
the wrong day, me too, and this one night. I don't know
if it makes a lot of sense. Are making no sense? Um?
She had developed corpophilia. What does that mean? Carpophilia? Kind of a
no, she followed herself. What does it mean? It means like Matt,
constant masturbation. She was sexually aroused by poop. She was into ship
play. She was into poop play a scoop scot scat at some point because
I guess it was such a special thing. When she finally had enough nutrients
to take a ship, yeah, I mean she was living in shit,
so shit, she's following herself with her shit fingers. Yeah, she would
be. Now, I learned about this group of people, adults who wear
diapers like sexually. You're speaking from experience or no, no, no,
I learned about this on a on a comedy show last night, right right,
no, uh, not yet. But apparently there's a lot of work
involved to because to wear diapers and to like mess yourself in diapers, you
have to how is this from the rich reef had to potty untrained? Yeah,
and so these people that have this weird kink they have to like untrain
they're like because it's not easy. Apparently they like piss herself or shit yourself.
Right, there's potty untrainers, just like there's potty trainers. Oh were
you at in the process? Um have not yet bought diapers, but thinking
about it? Sure what stage? Uh no, this is not planning?
No, okay, watching from a distance like the wildebeests and just with bin
out binoculars and mean like interesting, okay, yeah, not for me.
Blanche was called several things by the press. She was this is quite the
scan of the story, saying women are crazy. Man. She was called
a living skeleton of Poitiers and the recluse of Poitier. Recluse implies that it
was her fault, right, Like she was like, oh she hates people
and not she was locked up by her mom chained recluse. That's so rude.
I know she's a straight banter. Oh my god, recluse. She
died in nineteen thirty uh single? So how many years later from the imprisonment,
yeah that when they found her. Oh, from the twelve years from
when they found her, she was like sixty four, I think when she
had a good run. No, she didn't twelve years. I mean the
first twenty seven years were probably great, yeah, and then the next twenty
five How much more weight did she put on when she was the next twelve
years, they actually saved some money and they bought a children's casket. Right,
I don't know that she hit three three figs again, to be honest,
oh, to be that. But she died single, right, Yeah,
she died single. That's the most important part. So I would say
ultimately, ultimately her life was a failure. Um, she did not produce
any children. No, there was a rumor that the poor lawyer, lawyer,
had gotten her pregnant. But I don't think that's legit. No,
okay, because if she was pregnant, she would have run away from home,
right, which again another thing I thought the whole time. Just say
okay, I won't marry him, and then go grab him and lie,
lie, just lie, listen. I don't want to victim blame. You're
twenty seven. I don't want to victim blame. But she walked into a
lot of this. She really she could have she could have said, she
could have just played the game. Played the game, because it seems like
the rules were laid out to her right where they were like, you will
stay in here until you promise not to marry him. Yeah, there's not
a two hundred dollar get out of jail free card. It's to stay.
Tell us you're not going to marry him, get out of jail free card.
Pretty easy, guys on the weekend. He's gonna die anyway, fucking
all right, fuck it, fuck him, I won't marry him. Pack
a bag in Scedattle, girl. Yep. That's why you can't raise women
with too many morals. Yeah, can't raise a principle woman. Woman can't
afford principles. In this world, not none in this economy. No,
what did you guys learn today? Love is dumb stupid? Yeah, marry
the perfect match. Don't marry for somebody you vibe with Mary, Mary above
your station, especially if you're attractive. Yeah, and lie to your mom.
Me and my girls have been lying with their mom. Normal girls,
lie to your parents. Yeah. Me and my wife were talking about this
the other day about how, um, what would do when they when our
kids start, like, are in high school and they start like drinking and
shit like that. And I was like, you know, my parents,
my dad in particular, and I love him and I believed him to an
extent on this that he was like, don't drive drunk to ride. Yeah.
Yeah, And I was like, okay, and I'm going to drink
drinking our base. He would absolutely not that that was not a starter at
all. And I wouldn't do that with my own kids are gonna do it,
I'd rather do it. No. And I feel that way about sex
stuff too, where it's like like I've had this conversation with with Veronica,
yeah, like how like and she's like, well, I don't want them
to go risk them, you know, be I was like, no,
not in my fucking house. Like my mom had, like you can't cuddle
laying down. You can cuddle on the couch, but like sitting up and
no, no, no blankets, yeah, like overlaps and like like no
wrestling on it. You can't be a fuse. Like, if you're gonna
fuck, it's gonna be uncomfortable for you. It's gonna be weird. You're
gonna cook it in the back of a in a neighborhood development. Earn it,
earn its. Yeah, you're not gonna I'm not gonna close the door
and put on the white noise machine and bring out condoms for you. It's
gonna be a little weird. Yeah, if you if you're morning, it'll
be fine with drinking, like you can't. I'm like, the only not
gonna be comfortable shouldn't be absolutely not. You gotta earn that ship. You
think you develop a personality having sex in a bed. Yeah, in high
school, no, no, no, no, But I would say,
like my dad was like, I'll pick you up a gear shift up my
mask before I had a dick up there. Hell yeah. But I was
like, there's no way, there's no way, I know you'll do it.
I know you pick me up, but there's no way I'm not gonna
be in trouble. Yeah, well my mom said. My mom used to
say like she wouldn't pretend like there would be no trouble. She'd be like,
but I'll wait until afternoon the next day. And I was like,
still sounds terrible. I'm not gonna call you my my essentially thing will be
I on late with my kids. I'm like, I would just be like,
no liquor, and if you absolutely do not have another ride, Like,
you can tell me you're gonna spend the night, or you can tell
me but now they're uber right, or I'll fucking vend on you for a
number or whatever. But uh, just don't drink liquor and don't get in
the car with the drunk driver. Don't fucking drunk drive. Yeah, you're
a land parent. What is it? You're a lame parent? Cool?
That means my kids on you. Yeah, he doesn't cook beef shirtless.
It's called safety. Who's today's hitler? Fucking mom? The mom lanch his
mom, Gabby's hitler. Now I'm gonna victim blame. I think it's on
her. This is this could have all been Blanches avoid Yeah, Blanches her
own Hitler and if that attractive to yeah, more money, more money and
hotness than sense. And you know what if she had had she had been
writing a diary in her period blood, she wouldn't be Hitler. She would
be in frank m. That's all fair. That's all I have to say
about that. Yep, that's all I've got for today. Thank you guys
for listening. Thank you to our wonderful guest, Gabby Month or she'll be
back on our Patreon uh this Wednesday. Uh yeah, Patreon dot com.
Slash softcore history five dollars a month for a massive amount of episodes and stuff
like that too a week. But like I said, it's all evergreen back,
huge backlog, blah blah blah. Please leave a review on Apple and
Spotify. You got a write review and leave five stars on Apple. On
Spotify, it's just five stars. Um. But yeah, that's all I
got for Gabby Montemay or not. Jake Goldman and Dan Rojester, I'm rob
Fox. You just got a safer