WEBVTT 1 00:00:06.080 --> 00:00:09.000 Okay, welcome to the podcast. I don't do this much anymore, but 2 00:00:09.080 --> 00:00:13.839 I'm going to talk for just about forty five seconds. This podcast has two 3 00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:18.839 has three stories. The first two are fine for anybody to listen to their 4 00:00:18.879 --> 00:00:23.679 family friendly. The third one is a story I wrote. There are three 5 00:00:23.800 --> 00:00:29.039 or four words of profanity in the story. They're really not that bad, 6 00:00:29.079 --> 00:00:32.439 they're kind of funny. But I want to warn you ahead of time. 7 00:00:32.600 --> 00:00:36.920 Listen to the first two and if profanity offends you, don't listen to the 8 00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:40.920 last one. Y'all ready for three good stories? All right, here we 9 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:49.439 go. Here's a good bigfoot story. It's a bigfoot kind of I think 10 00:00:49.479 --> 00:00:52.079 it's bigfoot dog man, but it's not very long. Here we go. 11 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:56.960 I grew up in the small town of Spotsville, Kentucky. As a backwoods 12 00:00:57.039 --> 00:01:00.439 kid. I did everything one does when you have no social media for entertainment 13 00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:06.920 and aren't scared of the mud. Back then, Spotsful was a small neighborhood 14 00:01:06.920 --> 00:01:11.359 community and it still is. It's situated on the Green River, and it 15 00:01:11.439 --> 00:01:15.799 boasts two Baptist churches and no grocery stores. And legend has it that there 16 00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:22.159 are catfish the size of school buses in that river. My childhood home was 17 00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:26.719 unique in that it sat on the tallest hill in Spotsful, overlooking the river. 18 00:01:26.599 --> 00:01:30.400 A large bay window offered a panoramic view of it and the town that 19 00:01:30.560 --> 00:01:36.159 sat along its banks. That little burgh has a few claims to fame, 20 00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:40.000 but as a third generation resident, I was shocked when the new kid in 21 00:01:40.079 --> 00:01:44.920 town told me about a legend that I wasn't familiar with, the Spotsful Monster. 22 00:01:46.359 --> 00:01:51.200 The original story is very interesting. It's been covered in the national media, 23 00:01:51.599 --> 00:01:55.079 and it's written about in several books, one of which was written by 24 00:01:55.079 --> 00:01:57.959 a son of that family. They still live in the area and they hunt 25 00:01:57.959 --> 00:02:04.200 Bigfoot. While sheare their story, he's talking about Barton Nunley. I don't 26 00:02:04.239 --> 00:02:07.919 know if you guys are familiar with Barton Nunley's channel. Just look it up. 27 00:02:08.199 --> 00:02:12.360 Let me tell you how to spell his name. Barton's a great guy. 28 00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:15.919 I met him at the meet and greet in the LBL a few couple 29 00:02:15.960 --> 00:02:20.039 of maybe a month or so ago, and he's a super super nice guy's 30 00:02:20.120 --> 00:02:24.400 real high energy guy. He's very passionate about this research stuff, and his 31 00:02:24.599 --> 00:02:28.879 YouTube channel is great. I watch a lot of his stuff and it's really 32 00:02:28.919 --> 00:02:34.960 good anyway. Barton Nunley. It is spelled ba r t O N last 33 00:02:35.039 --> 00:02:40.120 name Nunley in you n n E l l Y look him up. If 34 00:02:40.159 --> 00:02:44.840 you just put that name in the search bar, his channel will come up. 35 00:02:45.080 --> 00:02:47.840 Back to the story. I've read about it, and I've watched several 36 00:02:47.919 --> 00:02:53.479 poorly made YouTube videos on the topic going back to the late two thousands and 37 00:02:53.560 --> 00:02:58.840 early two thousands and ten. They're mainly shots of empty fields and dirt roads, 38 00:02:58.919 --> 00:03:02.479 most of which are near my house. Over time, my initial interest 39 00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:07.599 in the topic waned and I moved on. I never forgot about the insane 40 00:03:07.719 --> 00:03:10.719 story of the Spotsful Monster, though, but there is only so much time 41 00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:15.120 you can devote to that sort of stuff. I wasn't giving that much thought 42 00:03:15.159 --> 00:03:20.159 that night that I was walking the dog. He was a good dog, 43 00:03:20.199 --> 00:03:23.319 but Lord have mercy, you'd think that it was gold that he was carrying 44 00:03:23.319 --> 00:03:28.199 around in his bowels, the way he went about finding just the right spot 45 00:03:28.280 --> 00:03:32.240 to deposit it. I was impatient, as a preteen at the time, 46 00:03:32.800 --> 00:03:38.800 with even less patience for a dog's per snickerty bathroom demands. I wanted to 47 00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:42.879 get back to watching TV, and I was sharing my frustration with this dog, 48 00:03:43.280 --> 00:03:46.599 not that he was listening. When I glanced up and I saw a 49 00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:53.439 tall, white, hairy, human like animal standing under a street light five 50 00:03:53.560 --> 00:03:59.039 yards away. I can't even imagine how long I stood there, slack jawed 51 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:03.280 and frozen in place. This thing was a good seven feet tall. My 52 00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:09.280 fearless protector of a dog was oblivious to what stood before us. After a 53 00:04:09.319 --> 00:04:13.280 minute of locking eyes with me, the beast turned and continued across the road. 54 00:04:14.439 --> 00:04:16.720 I didn't wait around. The dog was done for the night. Whether 55 00:04:16.759 --> 00:04:21.439 he knew it or not. Any deposits he hadn't already made would have had 56 00:04:21.439 --> 00:04:26.680 to wait until daylight. As far as I was concerned, I don't know 57 00:04:26.759 --> 00:04:30.800 what I saw that night. I'm still not sure if I believe in Bigfoot, 58 00:04:30.839 --> 00:04:34.600 although I love the stories. Whatever that thing was, I'll admit to 59 00:04:34.680 --> 00:04:40.920 one thing. I don't linger outside at night anymore. And where I used 60 00:04:40.959 --> 00:04:44.839 to look out that big picture window at the beautiful scenery in my part of 61 00:04:44.879 --> 00:04:49.199 the world, I now stare out in fear of seeing that thing again coming 62 00:04:49.240 --> 00:04:56.199 back to find me. Okay, this is a really credible story because he 63 00:04:56.240 --> 00:05:00.000 doesn't know if he even really believes in Bigfoot, and he's seen something that 64 00:05:00.160 --> 00:05:05.519 could be considered Bigfoot, which I think is admirable for him to say that. 65 00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:10.120 Most people see a dark spot in the woods and they go out and 66 00:05:10.120 --> 00:05:15.079 make a YouTube channel about Bigfoot. Now this guy's being real honest about it. 67 00:05:15.120 --> 00:05:16.040 He's like, I don't know if I believe in Bigfoot, but I 68 00:05:16.040 --> 00:05:19.800 saw some weird one night under a street light. Can't explain it. Don't 69 00:05:19.800 --> 00:05:23.600 know what it was, but I know what I saw. I think he 70 00:05:23.639 --> 00:05:28.519 said it was five yards away. I don't think he means physical yards, 71 00:05:28.560 --> 00:05:32.279 you know, like five yards would be twenty five feet. Wait, five 72 00:05:32.279 --> 00:05:35.920 to fifteen feet. I got the yard. I did my math wrong. 73 00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:40.879 Five yards is fifteen feet. I don't think it was fifteen feet away from 74 00:05:40.959 --> 00:05:46.319 him. I think it was five properties down, five yards down, That's 75 00:05:46.360 --> 00:05:48.199 what I think. I don't think it was that close to him. But 76 00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:54.399 this was a great story, and I like his honesty. And his name 77 00:05:54.480 --> 00:05:59.439 is Jack and he lives in spots for Kentucky. Anyway, I'm just rambling, 78 00:05:59.480 --> 00:06:02.079 but I just admire this story. I admire these people who send in 79 00:06:02.120 --> 00:06:05.519 and they say they've seen something but they're just not really sure what it was. 80 00:06:06.079 --> 00:06:11.040 To me, that makes a story even more interesting. And don't forget 81 00:06:11.040 --> 00:06:15.560 to look up Barton Nunneley's YouTube channel. Maybe I can find it. Put 82 00:06:15.560 --> 00:06:19.240 a link in the description Barton Noneley, and there's something else behind that. 83 00:06:19.920 --> 00:06:24.920 He calls his channel something I don't know. I just get notifications and I 84 00:06:25.040 --> 00:06:28.240 get to watch this stuff every now and then. I like Barton. Barton, 85 00:06:28.279 --> 00:06:30.000 if you're listening, it was great to meet you at the meet and 86 00:06:30.040 --> 00:06:34.000 greet. You have a great channel. So anyway, thanks to the writer, 87 00:06:34.279 --> 00:06:42.040 Jack, I really appreciate it. Let's go to another one. All 88 00:06:42.120 --> 00:06:45.360 right, this is a story about a wind to go. I don't think 89 00:06:45.360 --> 00:06:49.519 I've ever gotten a story that someone claims is true about a wind to go. 90 00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:53.759 This this should be great. I'm reading this cold. I haven't read 91 00:06:53.800 --> 00:06:57.399 this. Neilma just sent this to me. I'm gonna read it to y'all 92 00:06:57.439 --> 00:07:00.920 and I'm going to be as surprised as you are with what we read. 93 00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:04.759 But here's what he writes. My family owns land in the Boston Mountains of 94 00:07:04.959 --> 00:07:10.920 Arkansas, close to a place called Fort Douglas and another one known as Mount 95 00:07:11.040 --> 00:07:15.000 Levi. Fort Douglas was a trading post back in the eighteen hundreds, and 96 00:07:15.079 --> 00:07:20.000 Mount Levi was a settlement until the nineteen forties when everyone moved closer to town. 97 00:07:20.959 --> 00:07:25.560 My family has deer hunted and camped on that land since I was a 98 00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:30.920 child. My uncle was as close to a frontiersman as I have ever known. 99 00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:33.399 He made the rules at camp, and his number one rule was that 100 00:07:33.439 --> 00:07:38.920 we all be back at the cabin as close to sunset as possible. In 101 00:07:38.959 --> 00:07:42.800 addition to this, we kept a camp fire going at all times. My 102 00:07:42.920 --> 00:07:46.839 uncle set out Coleman lanterns all along the back and sides of the cabin, 103 00:07:46.879 --> 00:07:50.199 and he hung them along the front porch. He owned a big propane lamp 104 00:07:50.240 --> 00:07:57.399 that he kept burning throughout the night as well. Nighttime was a favorite time 105 00:07:57.439 --> 00:08:01.920 for my brother and me. That was when uncle would tell us stories about 106 00:08:01.000 --> 00:08:09.199 Count Dracula and werewolves and Frankenstein. I realized now that he was exciting our 107 00:08:09.279 --> 00:08:15.160 fear instinct to keep us from wandering off by ourselves. At bedtime, a 108 00:08:15.240 --> 00:08:20.240 large cover was placed over the window and the doors were locked and heavily secured. 109 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:26.680 We didn't have to ask why there were horrible inhuman screams outside. It 110 00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:30.720 could have been big cats, but as kids, we assumed that monsters were 111 00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:35.960 the reason for the extra security. Our belief in that theory was cemented in 112 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:39.120 the night when something screamed so loud that it shook the walls of the cabin, 113 00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:43.759 and then it sounded like something was laughing as it vanished into the night. 114 00:08:45.559 --> 00:08:50.519 Big cats wouldn't make that sound. Now. Years came and went until 115 00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:54.279 two thousand and nine when a tornado came through and damaged the cabin so badly 116 00:08:54.519 --> 00:08:58.039 that we had to quit using it. We didn't stop hunting the land, 117 00:08:58.080 --> 00:09:03.759 though quit staying at the cabin. Time has a way of erasing memories, 118 00:09:03.799 --> 00:09:09.200 even the memories of a creature that screamed so loud that it rattles walls and 119 00:09:09.360 --> 00:09:13.519 lives like an escaped lunatic in the night. We forgot about while we stayed 120 00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:18.399 inside the cabin at night when we were kids. So by the time I 121 00:09:18.440 --> 00:09:22.879 took my friends Nicki and Andrew out there to do some raccoon hunting, I 122 00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:28.200 didn't give a second thought to the screaming creature. I was hunting a big 123 00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:31.960 jug headed walker hound named Jake. He weighed in over to one hundred pounds, 124 00:09:33.440 --> 00:09:35.480 and standing on his back legs, he could look at a six foot 125 00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:39.960 man square in the eye. That night, I sent Jake on his way 126 00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:45.799 down a creek that runs through the property. According to my tracker, he 127 00:09:45.919 --> 00:09:50.480 was six hundred and sixty yards out when he came to a dead stop and 128 00:09:50.519 --> 00:09:54.080 started barking at something. And then we heard a high pitched scream like a 129 00:09:54.120 --> 00:10:01.399 metal on metal before Jake started running back toward us, who was half Lakota. 130 00:10:01.480 --> 00:10:05.480 SEUs said we need to leave. Why, I asked. I was 131 00:10:05.519 --> 00:10:09.399 a little confused by her demeanor. It wasn't like Nicki, But then I 132 00:10:09.440 --> 00:10:13.320 heard the panic in her voice when she said, when Jake gets back, 133 00:10:13.480 --> 00:10:18.000 we need to get the hell out of here. I didn't have time to 134 00:10:18.120 --> 00:10:22.519 question her further. At that moment, Jake ran past us and jumped into 135 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:26.639 the big dog box. He was shaking like crazy and whimpering like a terrified 136 00:10:26.799 --> 00:10:31.679 child, and no amount of coaxing could get him to come out. Let's 137 00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:35.919 get the hell out of here now, NICKI demanded, as she grabbed me 138 00:10:35.960 --> 00:10:39.279 and Andrew by our arms and began pulling. I let her drag me to 139 00:10:39.360 --> 00:10:43.600 the truck, but I kept asking her what was wrong, And as we 140 00:10:43.639 --> 00:10:48.120 got into the cab, we heard that awful metallic scream again, this time 141 00:10:48.159 --> 00:10:52.440 it was closer. I guess whatever was making that sound was in the tree 142 00:10:52.480 --> 00:10:56.600 line ahead of us. What's wrong? I asked NICKI one last time. 143 00:10:56.080 --> 00:11:01.720 I'll tell you later, That was all she said. Once we got back 144 00:11:01.720 --> 00:11:05.399 to the house and Jay got put up and fed, I asked her again 145 00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:11.279 what had shook her up. She climbed up into Andrew's jeep before finally answering 146 00:11:11.320 --> 00:11:15.519 me, brother, you've got a skin walker or a wind to go creeping 147 00:11:15.559 --> 00:11:18.360 around on your land. I'll not be back there at night, and I 148 00:11:18.440 --> 00:11:22.480 suggest that you don't go there until it's taken care of. And with that 149 00:11:24.120 --> 00:11:28.240 they drove off and left me standing there, deep in my faults. My 150 00:11:28.360 --> 00:11:33.399 most recent encounter with the creature was a month or so ago. My fiance 151 00:11:33.559 --> 00:11:37.360 and I took our four year old daughter up there for a picnic lunch on 152 00:11:37.399 --> 00:11:43.279 a Sunday afternoon. We had finished eating our sandwiches and we're sitting back and 153 00:11:43.320 --> 00:11:48.360 relaxing in the warm sunlight when something caught my eye. There was an old 154 00:11:48.440 --> 00:11:52.320 lane that we had brushed hog between some trees, and in that lane and 155 00:11:52.399 --> 00:11:56.799 making its way toward us in a strange zigzagging motion was a large humanoid, 156 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:03.120 semi transparent being not more than one hundred and fifty yards from us. I 157 00:12:03.200 --> 00:12:05.919 nudge my fiance and pointed it out to her and she could see it too. 158 00:12:07.159 --> 00:12:11.200 About then an old friend who was a longtime member of our deer camp 159 00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:16.279 showed up, and then the thing hid and we lost track of it. 160 00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:20.159 After that, it never appeared again. And I know that Steve Lily is 161 00:12:20.159 --> 00:12:24.840 a fictional character, but this is one time when I wish he was real. 162 00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:28.519 If he and his crew wanted to show up and take care of things, 163 00:12:28.559 --> 00:12:35.799 that'd be fine with me. Man, that story is so spooky to 164 00:12:35.879 --> 00:12:37.559 me. And he was joking about it at the end, but I know 165 00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:41.440 what he's saying. I don't know. Can a skinwalker or a wind to 166 00:12:41.519 --> 00:12:46.320 Go be killed? I know in the Wild Hunt book a curse to the 167 00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:48.960 wind to Go. Those guys were killing them right left. Those things were 168 00:12:50.039 --> 00:12:54.159 tough to kill in the book. That's a fictional book. It's a made 169 00:12:54.240 --> 00:12:58.399 up story, but still it's based on some of these legends. This was 170 00:12:58.440 --> 00:13:01.879 a great story, and it's a first Windigost story I've ever gotten that I 171 00:13:01.879 --> 00:13:05.840 can remember. I don't think I remember ever getting another Windy go story. 172 00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:11.120 But I appreciate this man sending it. That was so good. Set in 173 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:15.279 the mountains of Arkansas, Boston Mountains of Arkansas, close to a place called 174 00:13:15.320 --> 00:13:18.720 Fort Douglas. I don't know where that's at. I lived in Arkansas for 175 00:13:18.759 --> 00:13:22.399 fifteen years, but I lived in the flatlands over in the north northeast corner 176 00:13:22.440 --> 00:13:28.320 of Arkansas, so I wasn't familiar with the I would guess this is northwest 177 00:13:28.960 --> 00:13:33.240 or north central Arkansas. I don't know what an interesting story. Thank you 178 00:13:33.279 --> 00:13:39.720 to the writer. Okay, here's the story that I was telling y'all at 179 00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:43.600 the beginning of this podcast at number one has some adult words in it. 180 00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:50.440 Here's how I got this story, and I'll make this really short. First, 181 00:13:50.519 --> 00:13:52.840 I wrote this story, but I wrote it from a guy telling me 182 00:13:52.919 --> 00:13:58.639 a story not long ago. He's a friend of a friend who my friend 183 00:13:58.679 --> 00:14:01.200 has been telling me. Man, you got to hear this guy's story. 184 00:14:01.240 --> 00:14:05.840 It's pretty crazy. He says he still sees these things. I said, 185 00:14:05.840 --> 00:14:07.440 Okay, well, if we ever run up on him, he can tell 186 00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:11.159 me a story. A couple of weeks ago, we ran up on this 187 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:13.960 guy and he goes, Man, tell him that story, that bigfoot story 188 00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:16.960 you've been talking about. Oh, I don't want to tell him that story. 189 00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:20.159 Yeah, tell him? All right, Well i'll tell him. I 190 00:14:20.200 --> 00:14:22.159 said, hey, let me put a mic on you. Now, I 191 00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:24.840 don't want a mic on me. I said, can you write it down 192 00:14:24.919 --> 00:14:26.360 for me? No, I don't want to write it now. I said, 193 00:14:26.360 --> 00:14:28.679 okay, Well I'll try to remember it and i'll write it when I 194 00:14:28.720 --> 00:14:31.080 get back. Is that okay, Yeah, you can do that. You 195 00:14:31.120 --> 00:14:35.159 can die. Now here's the thing. He's never going to listen to this 196 00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:37.639 podcast. I don't think he even has the Internet. I don't think he 197 00:14:37.679 --> 00:14:41.759 has a cell phone or anything. And so since he is probably not going 198 00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:43.879 to listen to this, I'm gonna tell you all this now. I don't 199 00:14:43.879 --> 00:14:48.000 believe a word of the story. I think it's made up. I don't 200 00:14:48.039 --> 00:14:50.840 believe a word of it. But it is a great story. And so 201 00:14:50.960 --> 00:14:54.279 I remembered it and I wrote it, and now you're going to hear the 202 00:14:54.320 --> 00:14:58.480 way I wrote it. So I hope you enjoy this. My old lady 203 00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:03.639 stays on on me all the time about not getting things done around the house. 204 00:15:03.159 --> 00:15:07.480 It seems that I can't even catch a break. I used to go 205 00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:11.879 to drives when she was on a terror by me being lazy, no radio, 206 00:15:11.080 --> 00:15:16.519 no other sounds than the wind blowing through the car window. I'd stay 207 00:15:16.600 --> 00:15:20.039 gone for two, maybe three hours. Now i'd get back, she'd accuse 208 00:15:20.200 --> 00:15:24.559 me of stepping out on her. I never did that. Hell, she'd 209 00:15:24.639 --> 00:15:28.679 kill me if I did that, and I don't want to die when it's 210 00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:33.200 too cold. I'd just go to work and piddle, even if it was 211 00:15:33.240 --> 00:15:37.200 a Saturday or Sunday. I had the scheme worked out with a buddy who 212 00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:39.639 would call me when he got a text from me. We need you get 213 00:15:39.720 --> 00:15:43.799 the plant, he'd say over the phone. Well, I held the phone 214 00:15:43.840 --> 00:15:46.679 an inch from my face as she could hear it. Then he would make 215 00:15:46.759 --> 00:15:50.600 up some sort of thing going wrong with the weekend crew and throw in some 216 00:15:50.720 --> 00:15:56.639 technical jargon to make it sound legit. Something she wouldn't understand. But it 217 00:15:56.720 --> 00:16:00.559 gave me an ironclad reason for me to get out of that house so I 218 00:16:00.600 --> 00:16:04.519 wouldn't have to endure her incessant complaining. I'll be there as soon as I 219 00:16:04.559 --> 00:16:08.000 can, I would say, and I'd hang up. Now, this guy 220 00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:11.679 didn't even work with me. He and I had been friends since we were 221 00:16:11.799 --> 00:16:15.559 kids, but I couldn't hang out with them anymore because my old lady didn't 222 00:16:15.720 --> 00:16:19.919 like him. We'd hang up and he would go back to his peaceful weekend 223 00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:23.679 after that phone call with his family, and I'd go to work and i'd 224 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:26.879 just sit in the parking lot for a while and read a book. Then 225 00:16:26.919 --> 00:16:30.759 i'd drive around town to burn another hour or two. Then it was back 226 00:16:30.759 --> 00:16:33.960 home, where i'd have to sit with her in the den watching some TV 227 00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:38.960 show that I wasn't even interested in until I went to bed. I would 228 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:42.159 have gone straight to bed when I got home, but she said married people 229 00:16:42.200 --> 00:16:47.879 don't do that. Married people were supposed to watch TV together. She was 230 00:16:47.919 --> 00:16:52.200 a night all. She stayed up till four am every day and she'd sleep 231 00:16:52.279 --> 00:16:57.039 until two. I'd get into bed about ten pm. It's normal time to 232 00:16:57.080 --> 00:17:00.080 go to bed for a man who has a job, and I'd have to 233 00:17:00.120 --> 00:17:04.400 listen to that loud TV playing down the hall in the other room and made 234 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:08.319 it hard to go to sleep. But I'd eventually go to sleep, only 235 00:17:08.359 --> 00:17:12.519 to be woken around four am when she came to bed with that yaping dog 236 00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:18.240 of hers. Now she's had that dog for years, and you'd think that 237 00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:21.920 dog knew me, but every morning that dog would jump up to sleep with 238 00:17:21.960 --> 00:17:25.480 her, and it would start barking at me, like I was an intruder 239 00:17:25.480 --> 00:17:29.319 in my own house. I think it wanted me to get up so it 240 00:17:29.319 --> 00:17:32.880 could have the warm spot. I left when I got up, made coffee. 241 00:17:33.599 --> 00:17:36.359 Hell, it's my bed that I paid for, and I couldn't even 242 00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:40.359 sleep past four in the morning in my own bed because of a damn dog. 243 00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:45.119 I have always been thankful for the escape of sleep, though it's the 244 00:17:45.200 --> 00:17:49.079 only piece I get other than the times I make up reasons to get out 245 00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:55.400 of that house. We lived in a house that belonged to her father and 246 00:17:55.480 --> 00:17:59.640 she inherited it. The house was built on a place that had four hundred 247 00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:03.799 and eighty acres, but she sold most of that off when her father died. 248 00:18:03.480 --> 00:18:08.160 Now we have about eighty acres left. It is a pretty place, 249 00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:11.680 and I keep it up pretty good. There are a lot of things I 250 00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:15.880 wouldn't do around here, but she insists on the damnedest things that have nothing 251 00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:19.480 to do with the land. But to her credit, it does make the 252 00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:25.480 place look better. For the last few months, I've gotten away from leaving 253 00:18:25.519 --> 00:18:30.559 the house to get away from her her accusations of me running around on her 254 00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:34.839 got so bad that she was threatening a divorce for my infidelity. Now I 255 00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:38.880 knew I wasn't seeing anyone else. Hell, I'm an old man with a 256 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:44.359 gut and having lost half of my hair. I don't know what woman she 257 00:18:44.559 --> 00:18:48.319 thinks would take up with me, and being unfaithful to anyone else not in 258 00:18:48.359 --> 00:18:52.119 my nature. I have thought about it, but I could never do that. 259 00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:57.000 I figured she'd put a private investigator on me to see where I was 260 00:18:57.039 --> 00:19:02.400 going. I wasn't worried of her catching me with another woman, but I 261 00:19:02.599 --> 00:19:06.359 was afraid that she'd find out that I was driving around, or pulling up 262 00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:10.319 to a bar for a few beers, or sitting in the plant parking lot. 263 00:19:11.359 --> 00:19:14.559 I don't think finding out all those seekers would have been a cause for 264 00:19:14.680 --> 00:19:18.079 divorce, but I did not want her to know my secrets. I had 265 00:19:18.119 --> 00:19:22.359 to save them for later in case I decided to use those tactics again to 266 00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:27.480 get away from her. Since I was a kid, I have loved reading. 267 00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:33.519 I don't read anything smart, mostly cheap fiction with an occasional biography. 268 00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:37.640 Once a year, I would go off on the tractor back in the woods 269 00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:41.440 on our place, and I'd sit and read for hours while she thought I 270 00:19:41.559 --> 00:19:47.319 was back there doing something useful, like cleaning brush up or doing some dirt 271 00:19:47.359 --> 00:19:51.960 work. The tractor seat got to where it was putting my legs to sleep, 272 00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:55.920 so I started hiding a lawn chair in the front bucket, and I'd 273 00:19:55.960 --> 00:20:00.000 sit back in those pines and I'd read until my eyes got tired. I 274 00:20:00.119 --> 00:20:04.079 never worried she would catch me back there doing nothing when I said I was 275 00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:08.599 doing something. Hell, she never left the house unless she went shopping or 276 00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:12.480 to get her hair fixed, or to meet up with her Canasti club and 277 00:20:12.559 --> 00:20:18.160 play cards. I knew that was one place I could go and be safe 278 00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:23.079 from the constant henpecking that she was so good at delivering. It was summertime 279 00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:29.279 and it was a bit warm when I started my selfish excursions into the pines. 280 00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:33.599 I figured I had the spring and summer left of my retreats before it'd 281 00:20:33.640 --> 00:20:37.680 be too cold to sit outside and read, at which time I would have 282 00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:41.240 to come up with another way to avoid her wrath. But I had three 283 00:20:41.319 --> 00:20:48.559 months, and I was creative with my methods of infidelity. My brush clearing 284 00:20:48.599 --> 00:20:52.200 project would have to last and not raise even the slightest suspicion. When I 285 00:20:52.279 --> 00:20:56.920 got back to the house, and when the sun dipped low, I would 286 00:20:56.960 --> 00:21:00.440 run my hands around in the dirt and I'd wipe some on my hands and 287 00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:04.799 my shirt and occasionally on my face. I'd stop at a stream that flowed 288 00:21:04.799 --> 00:21:07.880 most of the year, and I'd make it look like I'd been sweating by 289 00:21:07.880 --> 00:21:14.200 slinging water around my neck and up on my armpits. She never called on 290 00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:18.279 and I think she was happy I was doing some work without having to nag 291 00:21:18.359 --> 00:21:22.440 me about it, even though it was the hot time of the year. 292 00:21:22.480 --> 00:21:26.119 I had a number of spots back there where the trees and brush hid me 293 00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:30.759 from the sun. The shade dropped the temperature a few degrees and made it 294 00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:36.000 bearable to sit for hours at a time. There were two places in particular 295 00:21:36.119 --> 00:21:40.720 back there that were my refuges. One I had cleared with the tractor early 296 00:21:40.799 --> 00:21:44.480 in the spring, and the other was a natural area clear of trees and 297 00:21:44.599 --> 00:21:48.960 brush. It's an area about twenty feet or so in diameter, and it 298 00:21:48.039 --> 00:21:52.119 was perfectly shaded with a bed of pine needles that I thought of as my 299 00:21:52.279 --> 00:21:57.559 reading room carpet. I liked both spots, but I wound up spending most 300 00:21:57.559 --> 00:22:03.640 of the summer in that natural spot where the pines skipped. On the hottest 301 00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:07.920 afternoons, it was still fairly cool enough that I didn't sweat too much, 302 00:22:07.640 --> 00:22:11.559 And when I first started sitting in that spot, it struck me that the 303 00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:17.680 little opening in the pines was put their own purpose. It was too neat 304 00:22:17.720 --> 00:22:21.960 and almost organized, like a man had made it that way years before. 305 00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:26.759 But that couldn't be the case. When they plant pines, they cover all 306 00:22:26.839 --> 00:22:30.079 available ground to get as much return as they can when they cut them twenty 307 00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:34.200 years later. Had this area been on the edge of the pines, it 308 00:22:34.200 --> 00:22:38.440 would have made sense to be used as a turnaround spot for equipment, or 309 00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:44.279 maybe something more technical to the pine growing methods of which I knew nothing about. 310 00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:48.559 But not knowing for sure because I could not see where the spot was 311 00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:53.160 from above. This clearing was more than likely in the center of this crop 312 00:22:53.240 --> 00:22:57.039 of pine trees, and it made no sense that an open area would be 313 00:22:57.160 --> 00:23:03.279 there. The pine needles were arranged in a way that didn't match the forest 314 00:23:03.319 --> 00:23:07.200 floor in other areas, like it had been manipulated to be neat and organized, 315 00:23:07.839 --> 00:23:11.920 But who the hell would do that? It had to be natural. 316 00:23:11.079 --> 00:23:15.920 So I stopped thinking about that, and I resigned myself to enjoy the peace 317 00:23:15.960 --> 00:23:18.319 of it all and be thankful that I got to use it for what I 318 00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:25.119 was using it for. In all my sixty six years, I had never 319 00:23:25.240 --> 00:23:30.119 been so at peace with myself in the world around me. A steady hiss 320 00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:34.039 of the wind pushing through the green pine needles above, the sounds of wildlife 321 00:23:34.039 --> 00:23:40.480 in the area songbirds and squirrels, and the cool, breezy evenings there on 322 00:23:40.599 --> 00:23:44.599 the hottest days. It all made it a place of nirvana for me, 323 00:23:45.319 --> 00:23:48.200 And on more than one occasion in the spring, I watched box turtles walk 324 00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:52.519 across the thick pine straw, going wherever they go to mate or lay eggs. 325 00:23:53.400 --> 00:23:57.640 Once one of those long, black, roped up chicken snakes slithered directly 326 00:23:57.759 --> 00:24:02.839 under my chair in between my feet, on its way to its next meal. 327 00:24:02.920 --> 00:24:07.519 I guess, and possums and deer and raccoons have ventured close to the 328 00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:11.279 clearing, just where I could see them, staying at the edge and making 329 00:24:11.319 --> 00:24:15.240 their way to wherever they go. And when wildlife approached, I never moved. 330 00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:21.039 Neither the turtles nor the snakes paid any attention. To me. The 331 00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:25.839 fast animals never jumped or ran away. They just kept to themselves, and 332 00:24:26.079 --> 00:24:30.000 I did the same. It was as if I had blended in with the 333 00:24:30.039 --> 00:24:33.039 woods and they had no fear of me. And that made me feel wonderful. 334 00:24:33.279 --> 00:24:37.480 And I longed for the critters to return so that I could see them 335 00:24:37.519 --> 00:24:42.200 again, and they often did. In October, after I had been going 336 00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:47.079 back there once or twice a week for my solitude since the spring, the 337 00:24:47.160 --> 00:24:52.079 old lady was on a terrible rant about me calling the utility company about our 338 00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:56.359 high utility bills. You call them and tell them they're charging us too much. 339 00:24:56.440 --> 00:25:00.799 You call them today and you get that dune. He said. It 340 00:25:00.920 --> 00:25:04.119 was important to me to keep the peace, and I knew the answers to 341 00:25:04.160 --> 00:25:08.279 give her to shut her up, But on this day I had had it 342 00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:12.599 with her, and I retorted with you got a damn phone in your pocket, 343 00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:17.880 why don't you call the sons of bitches yourself. She wasn't used to 344 00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:22.119 me biting back like that. Her lip puckered, and she turned and she 345 00:25:22.279 --> 00:25:26.440 ran down the hall. She went back to the bedroom and flopped herself on 346 00:25:26.440 --> 00:25:30.200 the bed with that dog yapping at me, and then she threw herself and 347 00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:34.160 buried her face in a pillow and performed a theatrical and mournful fake cry. 348 00:25:36.119 --> 00:25:40.119 It was typical behavior. On the rare occasion that I did jump back in 349 00:25:40.200 --> 00:25:44.559 her shit, I paid at zero attention and headed for the tractor, yelling 350 00:25:44.599 --> 00:25:47.680 at her through the back door that I was going back to the pines to 351 00:25:47.720 --> 00:25:49.960 get some work done. And I slammed the door, and I heard her, 352 00:25:51.119 --> 00:25:55.079 Yep, the poor thing. You think i'd have whooped her with a 353 00:25:55.160 --> 00:25:57.599 stick. Yeah, you can dish it out, but you can't take it, 354 00:25:57.640 --> 00:26:02.519 I was saying as I walked out to start my John Deere. I'm 355 00:26:02.519 --> 00:26:06.440 pretty sure I threw in a few assholes and motherfuckers as I climbed up on 356 00:26:06.480 --> 00:26:11.519 that tractor and started that diesel engine. Under the seat sat the latest novel 357 00:26:11.640 --> 00:26:15.920 I had been into, and I pulled it out and slid it under my 358 00:26:15.160 --> 00:26:18.359 arm and went straight to the sweet spot in the middle of the pines. 359 00:26:19.640 --> 00:26:23.680 By the time I unfolded my lawn chair, it was six in the evening, 360 00:26:23.880 --> 00:26:27.599 and that gave me two and a half hours of bliss until it got 361 00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:32.279 dark, and then I would have to get back to the house. The 362 00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:34.640 mosquitoes would eat me up when the sun went down, or I would have 363 00:26:34.680 --> 00:26:40.400 stayed out there, passed dark. I shook off the anger from the argument 364 00:26:40.519 --> 00:26:44.480 before, and I took a few deep breaths. I had just enough time 365 00:26:44.519 --> 00:26:48.200 to finish this one, which always made me happy, and looking forward to 366 00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:53.519 the trip tomorrow to the bookstore where i'd pick up another paperback. This afternoon 367 00:26:53.599 --> 00:26:59.279 was going to be peaceful if it killed me, and it almost did kill 368 00:26:59.359 --> 00:27:03.640 me. I placed a chair in the middle of my little haven. I 369 00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:07.720 parked my butt in it, and I leaned back just a little, and 370 00:27:07.759 --> 00:27:11.279 I opened the book and I laid it in my lap. I did a 371 00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:15.240 few breathing exercises I had watched someone do on the internet to relieve the stress 372 00:27:15.240 --> 00:27:19.359 that I was still feeling. After the fifteen minute ride back to my spot, 373 00:27:21.319 --> 00:27:25.519 when the residual roar of the diesel had left my ears, I heard 374 00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:29.680 the fall breeze wash through the pines, and a pack of crows squawked in 375 00:27:29.720 --> 00:27:33.519 the distance. Other than that, there was no sound from anywhere, especially 376 00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:40.680 an over dramatic female who didn't get her way. The last three chapters of 377 00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:45.240 this action novel were waiting, so I flipped the book over and I traveled 378 00:27:45.359 --> 00:27:51.599 into another world. It was about thirty minutes before dusk when I came up 379 00:27:51.640 --> 00:27:56.799 for air. I get that way reading these action novels. Once I started 380 00:27:56.799 --> 00:27:59.880 a chapter that has a lot going on, I just drift away and lose 381 00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:04.640 track of time. After walking around the clearing twice to stretch my legs, 382 00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:08.839 then I did a few knee bench to work out the stiffness in my knees. 383 00:28:10.319 --> 00:28:14.759 I sat back down and I looked at everything around me. The October 384 00:28:14.799 --> 00:28:18.680 breeze was still blowing, and I had gotten used to the sound while reading. 385 00:28:18.519 --> 00:28:22.559 I listened to it, and I focused on it so I would remember 386 00:28:22.599 --> 00:28:26.119 it. One more chapter to go, and by that time it would be 387 00:28:26.200 --> 00:28:33.559 time to go home. I had time this excursion perfectly. At some point 388 00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:37.160 I had become so relaxed that I think I dozed off. It must have 389 00:28:37.240 --> 00:28:41.559 been a deep sleep, because when I woke up it was dark. Frogs 390 00:28:41.559 --> 00:28:45.359 and night bugs were chattering away, and I looked at my watch and it 391 00:28:45.400 --> 00:28:49.640 was a little past eight. It gets dark at seven. I thought I 392 00:28:49.720 --> 00:28:53.839 must have slept for more than two hours. Well, I wasn't worried about 393 00:28:53.839 --> 00:28:57.880 it. The tractor was just a few feet into the trees be easy to 394 00:28:57.920 --> 00:29:03.160 find without a light. There was no rain in the forecast for the next 395 00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:07.319 week, so I decided to leave the chair right where it was. I 396 00:29:07.319 --> 00:29:10.319 hadn't finished the book, though, and that bothered me some, but I 397 00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:14.240 could finish it in the bathroom tomorrow morning. When I did my business. 398 00:29:15.400 --> 00:29:18.759 I slapped the back cover closed on the book and was about to stand up 399 00:29:18.759 --> 00:29:23.720 when I felt something was wrong. I was almost half up out of the 400 00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:29.240 chair when I raised my head, and in front of me silhouetted against the 401 00:29:29.319 --> 00:29:33.000 light of a half moon, with something in the shape of an animal, 402 00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:37.079 A huge animal twice as tall as me, with a big head and sloping 403 00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:44.000 shoulders that ran straight from its head to the outside of its arms. Now 404 00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:48.160 I didn't freeze in place. I jumped the hell straight back and hung my 405 00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:52.880 legs in some part of that chair. I flopped over backwards and my legs 406 00:29:52.880 --> 00:29:57.000 were in there. With that chair hung all over my legs. I wanted 407 00:29:57.039 --> 00:30:00.880 to start kicking and get away, but damn chair had me in a bine. 408 00:30:02.200 --> 00:30:06.039 I couldn't see well enough to know which way to move to get untangled, 409 00:30:06.279 --> 00:30:08.559 so I laid there thinking the chair would keep that thing away from me, 410 00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:14.880 but it didn't. One slap from this creature that I think was meant 411 00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:18.559 to connect with me hit the chair, and the chair sailed off into the 412 00:30:18.599 --> 00:30:22.720 pines. At least my legs were free, so I started scooting back, 413 00:30:22.799 --> 00:30:27.440 trying to get away, but it was pointless. That thing snatched me up 414 00:30:27.480 --> 00:30:33.160 by the legs started dragging me off. Screaming wouldn't have done a bit of 415 00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:36.960 good. Nobody was around to hear me, so I kicked and fought as 416 00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:40.960 well as any man could who's being drug through the pine thicket by an unknown 417 00:30:41.039 --> 00:30:44.799 monster. And just when I thought it was all over for me, it 418 00:30:44.920 --> 00:30:48.200 dropped me. I was spitting dirt and leaves and pine needles out of my 419 00:30:48.400 --> 00:30:52.200 mouth while trying to get up and run, which I did, and I 420 00:30:52.279 --> 00:30:57.640 ran straight into my tractor that was right after leaning into the great escape run. 421 00:30:57.680 --> 00:31:03.599 I was about to perform damn near knock me out. I know I 422 00:31:03.680 --> 00:31:07.839 was bleeding from somewhere after that, but in situations like that, you don't 423 00:31:07.880 --> 00:31:12.000 stop moving. The impact had dazed me some and I needed to get my 424 00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:17.200 bearing so I wouldn't run into that tractor again. And while I was doing 425 00:31:17.240 --> 00:31:21.119 that, I looked up and that monster was just standing there. He wasn't 426 00:31:21.160 --> 00:31:25.759 making a move after seeing that I had just stood there looking at it, 427 00:31:26.119 --> 00:31:30.559 still only seeing the outline of this thing in the dark. It was harder 428 00:31:30.599 --> 00:31:33.319 to see now that the angle I was seeing him was straight on and not 429 00:31:33.400 --> 00:31:37.920 with the benefit of him being back lit by the moonlight. I guess I 430 00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:42.599 could call this moment a standoff, But a standoff is when two figures were 431 00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:48.799 staring at each other and getting mentally ready to do battle. There wasn't going 432 00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:52.119 to be a battle here. I was staring at the creature, waiting on 433 00:31:52.200 --> 00:31:56.839 him to kill me. Maybe I would have rather seen it coming than get 434 00:31:56.880 --> 00:32:00.559 it from behind while I ran through the woods, running through brier and into 435 00:32:00.640 --> 00:32:06.240 pine trees. But he didn't kill me though. Instead, in one swift 436 00:32:06.279 --> 00:32:08.880 motion, he bent over and he raked a water pine needles into the air 437 00:32:08.920 --> 00:32:14.079 and straight at the tractor. Then he pointed at it with his other hand. 438 00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:17.440 What the hell was he doing? Was he pissed at the tractor? 439 00:32:17.599 --> 00:32:22.680 I was thinking that I had no clue until he stomped over to me and 440 00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:27.400 shoved me into that damn tractor again like I was a rag doll. Now, 441 00:32:27.400 --> 00:32:30.960 I'm pretty sure that's when the cut on my chin opened up and started 442 00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:35.200 bleeding, but I wouldn't even know that until I got back home. He 443 00:32:35.319 --> 00:32:37.759 shoved me again in the direction of the tractor, and that's when I let 444 00:32:37.799 --> 00:32:42.799 out a string of cuss words that would embarrass a convict, because at that 445 00:32:42.960 --> 00:32:47.359 point I knew what he wanted. He wanted me on my tractor. I 446 00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:52.440 just wanted him to stop pushing me that way. He stepped forward like he 447 00:32:52.519 --> 00:32:55.400 was going to do it again, and I stepped into him, and I 448 00:32:55.480 --> 00:33:00.200 cocked the right hook back up. Motherfucker. I said, I know what 449 00:33:00.279 --> 00:33:05.599 you want. Now, you ain't gonna push me again, and he stopped 450 00:33:05.640 --> 00:33:07.799 and mid shove, and he had let me crawl up in the seat. 451 00:33:09.559 --> 00:33:14.599 The key in that tractor never left the ignition as long as I owned that 452 00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:16.599 thing, so I reached down and started the engine. I didn't have to 453 00:33:16.640 --> 00:33:21.839 fumble for the key. I had to lean forward to feel for the headlights, 454 00:33:21.880 --> 00:33:24.240 and when I found them, the woods all around me lit up and 455 00:33:24.319 --> 00:33:29.599 I could see this thing better. Good lord, it was the ugliest thing 456 00:33:29.680 --> 00:33:35.000 I had ever seen, and it stumped and directly in front of me were 457 00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:37.599 two more of the smaller ones, and it hit me that the creature that 458 00:33:37.680 --> 00:33:42.920 had been dragging me and shoving me around had breasts. So I think it 459 00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:47.119 was a mama. It wasn't a he. None of them moved, their 460 00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:52.359 expressions didn't show anger. At that point, I didn't get the undercurrent that 461 00:33:52.400 --> 00:33:57.359 they wanted to hurt me. They just wanted me gone. I pushed the 462 00:33:57.400 --> 00:34:00.400 throttle forward a little, and the engine wound up just a bit. It 463 00:34:00.480 --> 00:34:06.000 was enough that when I released the clutch, it slowly backed out that was 464 00:34:06.079 --> 00:34:08.960 probably twenty yards from where I was to a place I could turn around and 465 00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:13.639 go forward. And the whole time I kept my eye on all three of 466 00:34:13.639 --> 00:34:16.039 those ugly things. And I backed into a couple of pine trees on my 467 00:34:16.199 --> 00:34:20.880 way out with the scraper I had attached to the back, But in a 468 00:34:20.920 --> 00:34:24.400 few seconds, I was turning the wheel and moving forward. I looked behind 469 00:34:24.440 --> 00:34:29.440 me and nothing was following. So I poured the fuel of that little diesel 470 00:34:29.599 --> 00:34:32.199 and I threw it into a higher gear and I got home as fast as 471 00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:37.360 I could. I raced across the road to the shed, and I shut 472 00:34:37.400 --> 00:34:42.159 off the diesel and I closed the doors. I walked up to the back 473 00:34:42.199 --> 00:34:45.280 of the house, and I saw my old lady standing under the light in 474 00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:49.519 the back of the porch with her arms folded. That damn dog came off 475 00:34:49.519 --> 00:34:52.360 the porch yapping at me, and I wanted to kick it through a gold 476 00:34:52.440 --> 00:34:55.280 post, but that wouldn't have done any good. I just walked by it 477 00:34:55.280 --> 00:34:59.639 and looked up at her again with a sire of feeling in my stomach. 478 00:35:00.159 --> 00:35:05.239 The lies began to form in my head immediately, and when I got to 479 00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:08.719 the top step, I let them fly. Look. I was piled up 480 00:35:08.760 --> 00:35:12.800 some brush to burn, and a limb flipped back on me and knocked me 481 00:35:12.840 --> 00:35:15.079 in the chin. Right about then, I slid off in a low spot 482 00:35:15.119 --> 00:35:19.559 and almost lost that tractor. Damn, I wouldn't want one of these things 483 00:35:19.599 --> 00:35:22.079 to roll over on me. I've heard of that happening. Anyway, I 484 00:35:22.239 --> 00:35:25.159 was stuck and it took me two hours to dig that thing out. But 485 00:35:25.239 --> 00:35:29.159 here I am. I'm okay. The woods are looking better, and your 486 00:35:29.199 --> 00:35:32.400 sisters will be happy that I've been taking care of y'all's pines. Probably bring 487 00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:37.119 more money when y'all sell them. I'm glad to know you were concerned. 488 00:35:37.320 --> 00:35:39.079 I'm going in to get a shower, is there anything to eat on the 489 00:35:39.159 --> 00:35:45.039 stove. She didn't say a word, nothing but hate, staring at me 490 00:35:45.159 --> 00:35:47.760 and her face as I walked by with my pack of lies spewing like it 491 00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:52.599 really happened that way. Nothing was new with that, so I headed straight 492 00:35:52.639 --> 00:35:58.039 for the bathroom. I undressed and threw my clothes in a trash bag to 493 00:35:58.079 --> 00:36:00.880 burn later. Because I knew she'd be aching about getting the blood out of 494 00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:05.760 my laundry, might as well skip that by getting rid of these things. 495 00:36:07.559 --> 00:36:09.599 I looked at my face in the mirror, and my chin had a good 496 00:36:09.719 --> 00:36:15.599 gash running horizontal, but it had stopped bleeding and it would not need to 497 00:36:15.639 --> 00:36:20.280 be sewed up. My arms were scratched up pretty good from being dragged through 498 00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:23.000 the pine thicket, but other than that, I was in pretty good shape. 499 00:36:23.480 --> 00:36:25.679 I showered, and I hit the bed, and I fell straight to 500 00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:31.679 sleep, and I never once woke until six the next morning. It was 501 00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:36.239 Saturday. The next day. After I had a cup of coffee, I 502 00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:39.800 went straight back to my spot. There was no way those things would still 503 00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:44.440 be there, and I was not worried. Hell, I had been there 504 00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:46.480 all summer, a couple times a week, and I had never seen them. 505 00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:50.920 This time, I rode back on my four wheeler. It's a lot 506 00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:53.519 faster than that tractor, and I thought maybe I might need to go fast 507 00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:59.320 just in case. On the way out, I had a few decisions to 508 00:36:59.400 --> 00:37:01.440 make, and I'm I ate every one of them. First, I was 509 00:37:01.480 --> 00:37:06.000 not going to tell anyone what had happened. I figured a few of my 510 00:37:06.119 --> 00:37:09.239 friends laughed at me behind my back with my overbearing wife and all that. 511 00:37:10.599 --> 00:37:14.639 Last, I was going to try to figure out what had whooped my ass 512 00:37:14.639 --> 00:37:19.719 in the dark pines the night before. The first thing I saw was my 513 00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:22.599 chair hung way up in a tree. I think they were mad at the 514 00:37:22.679 --> 00:37:25.159 chair and they threw it up there, or maybe it went up there when 515 00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:30.079 it slapped it off my legs, I don't know. I wrote that chair 516 00:37:30.119 --> 00:37:34.119 off, and I figured out by another one my book was not in the 517 00:37:34.159 --> 00:37:37.679 clearing, but after walking the perimeter, I saw it intact a few feet 518 00:37:37.679 --> 00:37:39.920 in the woods, and I picked it up. I laid it on the 519 00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:45.880 four wheeler. After walking back and forth across the pines that I told you 520 00:37:45.960 --> 00:37:50.079 earlier looked like they were laid out in an organized fashion, and I had 521 00:37:50.159 --> 00:37:54.559 concluded that this must have been a place they bedded down the day before was 522 00:37:54.599 --> 00:37:58.639 the only time I had ever been out there in the dark, so I 523 00:37:58.679 --> 00:38:01.960 figured I had just not been there when they were around. If they had 524 00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:07.599 been around, they didn't reveal themselves, and my theory was that I had 525 00:38:07.639 --> 00:38:12.159 just overstayed my welcome, and when they came up on someone sleeping in their 526 00:38:12.199 --> 00:38:15.440 bed, they had finally gotten pissed off and ran me out so much so 527 00:38:15.639 --> 00:38:20.400 that I would not come back, and they were dead on on their tactic. 528 00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:22.719 There was no way they were going to ever catch me back there at 529 00:38:22.800 --> 00:38:29.559 night again, so I came up with a plan. Most people would never 530 00:38:29.639 --> 00:38:32.920 go back to that place at all. Some people might even sell their whole 531 00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:37.480 property like that and get as far as they could away. But those times 532 00:38:37.519 --> 00:38:43.079 of solitude in those pines was such a good thing for me that I decided 533 00:38:43.119 --> 00:38:49.280 to try to live with them. This month is May in twenty twenty four, 534 00:38:49.719 --> 00:38:52.639 and I've been heading back to my spot to read since the end of 535 00:38:52.719 --> 00:38:57.239 March, and I have had no trouble, probably because I don't stay back 536 00:38:57.280 --> 00:39:01.599 there after dark. He keeps asking in a nasty way, why I keep 537 00:39:01.599 --> 00:39:07.079 buying sacks of apples and plums and sacks of corn at the farmer's market. 538 00:39:07.440 --> 00:39:09.960 What the hell are you doing with all that food? And why don't I 539 00:39:10.039 --> 00:39:15.960 ever see it after we get home? Stuff like that. In my secret 540 00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:21.280 place, I find corn shucks and peach pits lying about in the pine needles. 541 00:39:21.760 --> 00:39:24.599 I leave them treats once a week. A couple of times I've stayed 542 00:39:24.599 --> 00:39:28.440 a little too long, and I hear the little one somewhere off in the 543 00:39:28.440 --> 00:39:32.519 woods making their quiet chatter. I don't mind monsters living on our place. 544 00:39:34.159 --> 00:39:37.119 Maybe they don't mind that I pull up a chair and read a book now 545 00:39:37.199 --> 00:39:42.800 and then in their bedroom. Thank you for tuning in and listening to this 546 00:39:43.000 --> 00:39:46.519 podcast. I appreciate you like you would not believe. I hope you can 547 00:39:46.599 --> 00:39:50.880 join me on another one. There's another one right there on your screen. 548 00:39:50.920 --> 00:39:52.840 Click it if you want to hear more. And with that, I guess 549 00:39:52.840 --> 00:40:00.880 we'll see you guys on the next podcast. Thanks Amelia.