Earlier this morning on the show, the actual radio show, we said,
Okay, we're going to talk about size queens. And when we actually title
this episode size Queen, because we're going to talk about whether size is really
a factor or not. Was that what we decided, Jenny, that we're
going to talk about? We did? I mean, for the most part,
we just were talking about people. We were talking about Pete Davidson being
hunger and whether it mattered or not. Okay, And so we said,
if you have any thoughts on sizes and size queen, then this is probably
not the most family friendly episode, but we'll see. We'll see what we
get. We do have an email and it says, I don't think this
email has my real name on it, but don't call don't say my real
name, call me Mauve. Okay, Mauv. I'm a polyamorous, kinky
switchet. I know what polyamorous, I know what kinky means. But what
is a switch? Switch means you can either be submissive or dominant? Oh
okay, And I can't believe this is the first email I'm ever sending to
the Dave Ryan. I've listened since I was a nerdy music theater kid in
high school. I love all of you anyway about penises. Yeah, I'll
hear it. Does size matter? Now I'm reading her email, so you
can't get offended because we ask for this. All cocks are valid. I
love the ball that being said. A well endowed man who knows what he's
doing is a gift to women. I've had a lot of partners. One
of the men I see regularly is so big I can hardly get my mouth
around it when he's fully hard, and I got a big mouth laugh emoji.
He starts slowly and does plenty of four plays, so I'm ready for
him every time. The first moment of penetration feels so fucking good, and
I can feel my body opening. And then she gets a little bit more
than I'm even more comfortable with. We will do it for an hour,
and I enjoy it so many times I am blissfully exhausted. We'll take a
break and go back again. Wow. I have not had that same experience
with smaller men. Even when the guy knew what he was doing, it
still feels good. I still enjoy it and I still love it. And
then she goes on with I think she really enjoys being very outwardly expressive,
which I'm not completely comfortable with in this context. You know what I mean?
And we get you know, we can talk dirty er on the Minnesota
Goodbye, but I don't really feel comfortable. Sounded like a you know,
like a porn movie, you know what I mean. I will also acknowledge
that some women have issues and reasons for not being able to enjoy or handle
large men, and some or many men that are large have no idea what
they're doing with it, and they think they can just do whatever and it
feels good. I did that in the back of my car with a twenty
something that had no idea what to do with his Yeah. Side note story
question. One of my other partners is average size. He always wants me
to talk about how much bigger he is than other partners while we're doing it.
Okay, sweet, I can exaggerate a little and stroke his ego,
and then he asks if I mean it, and I feel so conflicted continuing
the lie. It kills the mood for me. Help. I think that's
silly that a guy needs to be told, oh, look how big you
are? Yeah, that, and like being consistently told while you're doing it,
and he probably knows that you don't mean it if he's asking you shit
like do you mean it? Yeah, I think that every guy wonders unless
he knows. Every guy wonders whether he is built adequately enough. And I
have heard that this that it is a it's a might be a visual turn
on if it's the size of a Stanley thermos. But it's a visual turn
on. You don't really want that because that's like, you know, it's
more like what you do with it, you know what I mean? I
guess, Yeah, it's the motion in the ocean. Isn't that what they
say? It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion in the
ocean. What about like a roll of a roll of life Savers? Is
that too small? I'm asking for a friend, asking for a friend.
I think that if that person a roll of Lifesavers is you know, they
use other things that they have, like the sporks, because I sometimes bring
a sport. Definitely not maybe only a spoon time utensils, the spork on
my nightstand. No, that's not going to work. But yeah, I
don't know. I mean, give you that sport, give you that lifesavers.
Lifesavers using other things hands hands, Okay, yeah, that works.
I'm asking for a friend anyway. Huh, who's your friend? None?
Oh, none, your business. Thanks for that fun email. Really,
that might be the only one we get about polyamorous, kinky switch and penis
size. But thank you for being bold enough to do that. I appreciate
it all right. Next one, this is from Andrew, one of our
staff writers in Ohio, and I'm going to summarize his email because it does
need to be I don't need to read the whole thing. But he says
basically, he hasn't been listening as much because there was a trigger that triggered
his anxiety in PTSD. He says, I don't remember what it was now,
but he still has anxiety. In PTSD. I turned off the show,
took a little break. Now I'm back and trying to catch up and
hoping I don't get triggered again because I love your show. Hope you all
keep up the great work. Love the addition of Bailey. And by the
way, since I don't remember if I have had said that before or not,
so Andrew, thank you. Sorry. You know what, we don't
really think too much about triggers during the podcast because I don't think we do
anything that's too triggering. But also we can't give a trigger warning for every
possible thing that might upset somebody. Yeah, Like, there might be somebody
with a large, large whang and I'm going to say the word wang and
they might feel very attacked that we were talking about that one. Or there
might be somebody with a roll of life savers that might feel Cause we can't
give a trigger warning for everything we do. APIs Andrew that you felt triggered
and that you left us. But we're glad you're back. Glind you're back.
Yeah, morning show crew. Grace writes in and never write in.
But the subject of poop time really hits home as I'm a notoriously fast pooper.
This came upon the podcast yesterday, yep, and talking about how women
seem to poop really fast. No, No, that was not it.
You said your wife poops very fast. Okay, Bailey and I both admit
we'll bring our phones into the bathroom. Sometimes you bring a little lap desk,
yeah, Amy to work on while you're in there, thousand piece jigsaw
puzzle. I'll be right out. As she goes on to say, I'm
usually in and out of the bathroom and under a minute. Many people in
my life have commented on it, and one friend is so disturbed by how
fast I poop that he's convinced I'm doing it wrong. I'm amazed that you
can do it that fast. I'm a big fan of all you do.
Thanks for the entertainment, especially the I'm still fun with Fallon and Jenny.
I look forward to it every week to care from Grace. Thank you,
Grace. I'm genuinely like jealous of people like her who can just like go
into the bathroom and be in and out so quickly, because like people like
me who have stomach issues, that's just not the case. Because I think
about like I think I could be a good camping person, like where I
could go out and enjoy the outdoors and stuff, but the lack of bathroom
facilities and being like comfortable going to the bathroom is one of the biggest things
for me where I do not think I could be a solid camping person.
It is tough. I mean, if I prefer the camping where there is
a restroom down the parking lot, like if I go with the KOA campground,
I love the fact that you kind of feel like you're in the outdoors
and you smell campfires and you smell brat's cooking. But if you want to
get a shower or use a real toilet, they're down the parking lot,
right, And there's also a convenience store where you can buy a doctor pepper
and things to make s'mores. But I have done this serious camping before too
with the boys, where you had to poop in a trench where you dig
a little trench and it's got to be like, you know, it's bout
the size of a shoe box or so, then you do your business,
then you put the sad back up on top of it, and it's like,
yeah, I mean it's it's not you know, nobody likes that.
Yeah, that's that's why she could never be on Survivors. She can't poop
in the woods. Yeah right. Andrew keeps saying that me and him should
try to get on it, and I was like, you can do it,
but that will never work for me. I will not be able to
ever sleep because they basically sleep on the ground practically, not really. They
build their shelter, but it's not comfy. Yeah, But yeah, not
for me. I also because Dave, I know you've you've done the Boundary
Waters, right, Yeah, Okay, that's another thing that like Andrew's like,
we should really try to do it sometime together, and I'm like,
so wonderful, I know, but it's that's like one of those things like
you are so off the grid in those situations that like I'm like, you
don't have bathroom facilities at all. What they do have in the Boundary Waters
and I did it in two thousand and say sixteen, they have basically it's
a toilet seat on a box, So it's not a real flush toilet if
I remember right, and I could be wrong, but they had you know,
you pee anywhere, you pee wherever you want to, but when you've
got to go number two, there's like a toilet seat on a box,
if I remember right, and you don't have any cover. You basically use
the courtesy of like, oh, if you know somebody's down at the toilet
seat on a box, you don't go over and stand waiting for your turn.
You like wait behind a rock, or you wait around the corner or
whatever. But at least it's somewhere to sit, like sit down yeah,
right, this is what I would need for sure. I can't squat and
poop if you want to do I mean, if you ever want to think
about the boundary, it's totally worth any inconvenience and pooping inconvenience. It is
glorious up there. It is so beautiful. You can't believe that there is
that much un settled or developed. That's the word I'm looking for, undeveloped.
Everything I've never been, I'd love to. It is amazing and you
can go and they limit the number of people who can go out, so
you do have to get a permit to go out there, although I'm sure
people break that rule all the time. But you can go for a day
without seeing another crew and it's just great. And they assign you know,
they don't assign camping spots, but they make it so there's enough camp sites.
It's cool. You got to do it. If you want to do
Boundary Waters, you're gonna love it. I would go back in a heartbeat.
Next email from Lexi, I'm currently listening to the Minnesota Goodbye and wanted
to chime in on the length of War of the Roses because yesterday we said,
well maybe we should make it quicker, and I said shorter, quicker,
thicker as a slogan, Please shorten it. I listen to your show
every morning from six till nine point thirty. Thank you. That's a lot
of listening. And I love that you do that. It's already too much.
Happy to hear War the Roses at seven twenty and then again at nine,
and then again right away the next morning. I understand Jonathan Fogel is
advertising his business, but that part the just needs to It goes on too
long, and I do kind of want to shorten it, you know.
And it's not we don't do it just for Jonathan Fogel. That's he was
definitely like he wanted to do War the Roses. We did War the Roses
for many years before Jonathan came on. So it's not because of Jonathan Vogel.
We just really enjoy his personality and the advice he gives. And when
we say shorten it, do we mean like shorten it by five minutes or
shorten it by like two minutes, Because like two minutes, I mean that's
sizeable, I think, but like five minutes, then it's like cutting it
in a half. I think sometimes we take a long time getting to the
story. Sure, Instead of like, Okay, Shonda's on the phone,
Shonda, how you've been long you've been dating Billy? Ah about five it
could be more like, okay, Shanda's been dating Billy for five years,
and Shonda found something in the bathroom the other day. What did you find?
I found a condom in the trash can. Okay, Well, here's
what we can do. We can call Billy right now, blah blah blah,
and but we tend to dig deep sure to pick out more drama feel
about Billy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And maybe we should just get
more right to it and see what people think. I'm down to try it.
Yeah, for sure. I think we did because we were able to
get one set yesterday. And I think we did a pretty good job getting
to the point quick enough. And I tend to ramble. I'm one of
those DJs that loves the sound of my voice. I can't hear enough of
me, me me, So the longer I talk, and I like to
say a lot, and the longer I can say all anyway, So thank
you. I appreciate that. Also, I'm late to the party on this
topic, but I like when the Minnesota. Goodbye is longer than fifteen minutes.
It's always one of my favorite parts of every day. Oh and one
last thing. I know what dart lick means, but could you explain the
dart part. I clearly don't take part, and I've never understood that.
Well, that's where you LEXI Fromatzigo. You put your tongue in the shape
of a dart, in the shape of a yeah, and the and the
the athhole you complaining earlier in this podcast, being like this is too dirty
for me, and then you're like, well, in and out of the
asshole, you just said it too. Yeah, I know I was being
you. What if your mother hears you talking like that? I don't think
she listens to this one. What really was quoting you? I feel like,
does your mom? I mean, would she be surprised? Though?
If she listened to this and heard anything like that, probably she would be.
Oh see, my mom just knows. She knows she's going to hear
some Sh'S naughty. I don't know, but I think she's not. She
really no, like literally like alcohol. She's not an alcohol person. She
was very nerdy in high school. I did find out she did smoke weed.
One time. Okay, maybe she's not going to be too happy that
I just said that on this podcast, but whatever. But no, she's
a very like goody too shoe kind of person. I don't know Cindy.
I don't know that I've ever met your mom. No, I don't think.
I don't think I have. But I picture Cindy is like she down
to parties. She down to like, you know, tell a dirty joke
and do a couple of shots at tequila and tell another dirty joke and then
like make out with some guy she met at the truck stop. I think
that's that's Valence. That's what I'm thinking about. Let's see you got one
mower. Let's see, No they talk about your This is the vulgar shirt
wearing Throat Goat mom gang, which we read yesterday. So we are at
the end of our Minnesota goodbye list. Thank you very much for all of
the content. Really appreciate that one, so Lexi, thank you. Uh
there's anything you want to comment on about anything? Always love your emails.
Send your emails to Ryan Show at kadiewbt dot com.