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The opinions expressed by Chayo Busquets are
supported by his extensive experience as a family

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therapist and in the previous analysis of
the cases presented here. Welcome, this

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is Chayo Contigo, in jewel,
we begin very good afternoon to everyone as

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I am Chayo Busquets, this is
Chayo with you and we are ready to

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start today' s program, hoping
that it is flowing very well this week

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Holy Week Major, as it is
known, who are working, well,

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I hope that they give them Thursday
and Friday and therefore today they already have

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that spirit of ay now hears already
for those who have been able to take

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the full week of vacation. Well, welcome to Chayo Contigo and notice that

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one of the topics that undoubtedly puts
them and I speak puts them thinking specifically

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about the young kids who are on
vacation and who, therefore, may be

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listening to the program, although this
also happens to the big ones in many

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times, is the scenic panic,
this anxiety, this nerve that feels to

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speak in public and that often makes
us good with all the symptoms of anxiety

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at its maximum proportion. Those who
have not experienced anxiety crises, good panic

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attacks and are afraid to speak in
public and get super nervous and sweaty and

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sweat cold and beat their heart and
begin to feel that something is going to

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fail and that the voice does not
come out and that they do not breathe

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normally. And so on, well, they already have a little taste,

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but they already have a taste of
what panic attacks are. And overcoming stage

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panic is very important. First,
because in different ways, starting with school,

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you have to make team presentations,
jobs that have to be presented,

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projects that have to be presented.
The day of the professional exam will come

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and you will have to speak in
public. Sometimes they even have doubts about

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what happens, what happens in class, what they don' t understand.

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They stop even expressing their opinion on
some topic they consider significant because they cannot

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speak in public and something we all
have to learn for life. But this

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is especially addressed to you, teenage
kids, college kids, something that is

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very important. Then never let because
something gives you anxiety you better avoid it.

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We have to face it. And
for that there is a clear pattern

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that I always give, and that
is that speaking in public is learned by

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speaking in public. You can do
simulations in front of the mirror of your

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home, you can rehearse it in
your mind, you can learn the content

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from memory. But the reality is
that the experience of speaking in public is

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acquired by speaking in public. Yes, it' s good that you suddenly

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feel your friends, your family members
and tell them to let me introduce you

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to what I' m going to
present at school tomorrow so they can tell

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me, so that they can see
what I hesitate so that they can point

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me out in the end, but
the truth is that you learn how to

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do it. Some situations that lead
us not to want to speak in public

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must be made aware. And before
that, I want to make a difference.

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One thing is that I feel sorry
for myself because I am more introverted

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and therefore I feel sorry to speak
in public. I don' t like

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it. And another thing is to
develop anxiety and anguish in front of speaking

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in public where, when we overcome, anxiety and anguish may not be your

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favorite activity, but not that limiting
and it is very important to learn to

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face and overcome when something is related
to anxiety and anguish. Making this difference.

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Yeah, you' re probably the
kind of guy who' s never

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gonna like to talk in public,
you' re gonna prefer another kind of

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interaction and learning scheme, and it' s okay, but you' re

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gonna have a lot of fun if
you get over the anxiety that that triggers,

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and it just stays like an activity
that you don' t like what

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it usually gives us. When there
is anxiety, there is usually a lot

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of fear and, in general,
there is a fear of disappointing others,

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a fear of ridicule or not being
accepted by others. It is important for

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you to detect which of these fears
are present in IT when the situation is

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generated in such a specific, so
intense, so particular way, because,

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once you become aware of this,
the truth is that we have all grown

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up in a city, in a
competitive society that is seeking perfection and acceptance

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of others. At any cost and
just thinking about failing in front of a

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group of people who can criticize us, fail our attitude, or make fun

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of us. It certainly makes us
tremble. But one of the things you

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' d have to think about is
that the concept of perfection that we have

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is totally unreal. No one'
s perfect, no one' s doing

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things totally right. We all make
mistakes and even mistakes are necessary, because

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from there we learn. And if
what scares you is that you won'

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t be able to face the joke
or the mockery or the criticism, then

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there we are talking about another skill
to develop. For I especially thank you,

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Pedro, for coming, because we
are in the middle of Holy Week

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and I don' t know if
you were going to take vacations. Chayo

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I am delighted to be here this
one and I will tell you what I

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say to my patients. Unfortunately,
this disease has no holidays, no holidays

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or this truth. Then he didn' t love it. Nice to meet

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you. I thank you for the
effort to come to Peter. Hey,

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we discussed this topic of functional alcoholism
last week. No and you said good,

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since we used the word alcoholic,
because we' re already talking about

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a problem and I was saying good. Some say my way of relating to

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alcohol is functional. What' s
the line that would tell us that the

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way you relate to alcohol has already
crossed because maybe I have endurance. I

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do not take it with a frequency
that I consider relative. I take the

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week, I take the weekend.
I can' t just get drunk.

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I' m not raw often,
but how do I know I' m

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in danger, because, well,
I never get drunk, but I do

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consume what with a certain frequency.
I trust him, no, I think

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I' ll see him here.
The first thing I think has to be

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done is that out there they say
that when there is doubt, there is

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no doubt. I don' t
mean when I start asking myself, because

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I think the most important thing is
to recognize if I' m already beginning

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to ask myself, that I can
have a problem, and that maybe it

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' s important, at least,
that I get an assessment to know if

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I have this disease or I don' t have it. Okay, because

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if there are times that the person
might not meet the criteria, but maybe

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sometimes the family does on their own
background, so sometimes it is heard on

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the radio, on television, etcetera, etcetera. You may think that because

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the person already got drunk, maybe
he' s already an alcoholic and when

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maybe he doesn' t meet the
critters yet to be able to do it.

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So yes, it is important that
both the person who is consuming the

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substance and his relative may advise and
seek an evaluation from a specialist. When

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it starts to affect you, when
in some area of your life, to

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see addictions are not likely to impact
you in all areas of your life.

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At the same time, it'
s going to be little by little,

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it' s going to have an
impact. Maybe for some people it can

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be in the family. For other
people? Maybe it can be physically for

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other people It can be legal because
I' ve already had an alutorito,

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et cetera, et cetera. So, when there is already an impact in

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the areas, I think it is
important now if the person, as you

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say, you drink a lot,
this how much he endures, because that

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too is not synonymous with us being
calm. What the person may have is

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this to. It' s already
developing a tolerance to alcohol and that can

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be one of those that no one
can be. It is one of the

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criteria, along with others, of
course, that can lead us to give

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a diagnosis of substance addiction, when
the only area is that of interpersonal relationship

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with the significant figure. I don' t know the daddy boy and his

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dads, the couple who don'
t like the way they take it.

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Not beyond not being drunk because he
endures a lot, because he physically tolerates,

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but he doesn' t like that
whenever he goes to the party,

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he had to drink alcohol, that
whenever they went with friends, he has

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to drink alcohol, that whenever they
go to dinner outside the house, he

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has to order a drink of alcohol
at the event that he can' t

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go to the wedding without having to
drink alcohol. What, but it'

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s only in one person the complaint. But that person is very significant in

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your life. No yes, because
that' s why it causes you a

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lot of trouble. That would no
longer have to be considered meaningfully again or

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the problem may be in the person
the problem. That' s why I

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said it' s important for the
two of you to go for the best,

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you get close to an assessment,
because maybe and I say it with

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all due respect, with some of
your listeners, it might be that the

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other person also has a codependency and
is seeing things where they' re probably

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not paying present. I don'
t mean to see, and I think

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one thing that' s also important
is that we mention that we' re

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not demonizing alcohol here, let alone. That is, there are many people,

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fortunately who can enjoy drinking alcohol without
developing the disease. Not then this

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Sometimes there are people who just don' t tolerate someone seeing alcohol when they

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might have a control over the drink. Not that it is also one of

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the criteria for talking about alcoholism or
dependence is that the person who loses control

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during the substance any sectud. Peter
so many thanks to your command Chayo.

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I hope that at least they will
let you rest Thursday Friday so that you

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make four days possible to take,
because finally, today we have the possibility

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to have our children on vacation and, therefore, the possibility to approach topics

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of this nature that, because of
the time, they cannot always listen.

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Before the segment with Peter we were
talking about this which is so important to

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develop, which has to do with
how we speak in public and, well,

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in general, all human beings at
some point, in less or more,

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we will be exposed to this.
But I have addressed these segments a

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lot to the children and teenagers,
because I take advantage that they are at

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home, that they are on vacation
and that they have the possibility to listen

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to chayo with you that for school
reasons, they cannot do it. Normally

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and a little while ago I would
talk to them sometimes things we have to

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do. It stops us from fear, criticism or mockery. And one thing

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that we always need to get into
the head is that our life has to

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always expand in the repertoire of behaviors
that we need to develop, because we

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don' t know what kind of
future life is going to touch us or

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what situations we' re going to
have to face. So, from that

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context and from that vision, it' s very important to understand that anything

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that makes you become someone that avoids
situations because of fear the discomfort that involves

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facing them, rather than expanding the
repertoire of behaviors and abilities, diminishes and

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limits them and when that limits you. In that context, it is very

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important to understand that part of that
that gives rise and that is generated,

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is going to leave you impoverished,
impoverished with respect to your abilities to face

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life. Criticized we will always be
thinking of criticism as this behavior presented by

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other human beings that you have presented
also where you give your opinion regarding the

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acting of other people. That'
s a criticism. There are respectful criticisms.

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There are disrespectful criticisms. Of course, we are very afraid of him,

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much more afraid of disrespectful criticisms that
are accompanied by mockery. And there

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of the skills that must also be
developed is the ability to relate to the

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joke and to the mockery, even
if it comes with bad milk and with

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saneness on the part of the other. From a place where we learn to

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defend ourselves. And defending ourselves does
not imply attacking or striking, simply putting

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a limit on the other person.
And there it becomes important that whenever there

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is a joke, there is a
mockery, you are able to turn around

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and see in the eyes who is
being mocked and you can hold your gaze.

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You' re going to realize that
the one who mocks the low,

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keeps laughing and keeps talking nonsense,
but he' s going to look down

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because it takes a lot of courage
to keep his eyes up to see the

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other and hold it unless he'
s using the aggression. The person who

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is making fun of you or who
is criticizing you, because then, with

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an ironic look, is going to
keep saying what he has to say and

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sometimes you have to learn to generate
some ideas or some say that it is

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logans or phrases that help you to
engage. One wouldn' t say conversation,

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because you can' t talk like
that. But one answer is often

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mocked by others, and it also
happens in adult life. Don' t

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think that' s over with the
school stage. It happens in adult life.

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The theme is how I can turn
my eyes, look at those who

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are making an unfortunate comment, a
criticism, a mockery, an imitation.

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You have to take into consideration that
you can say things like always looking in

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your eyes and taking care of your
body posture to be right, right looking

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in your eyes and saying something very
brief, things like that that you say

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talk worse about you than about me
things like I might have been wrong and

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I may seem worthy of mockery and
imitation, but at least I dare to

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try to learn and make things phrases. As one of the reasons I'

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m not interested in your friendship is
just how you treat others when there are

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laughter from those who accompany the person. It is also important that you can

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make a comment as you feel very
brave and able to do this because you

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have all these surrounding you and approving
what you do, but what sadness it

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must feel when you are left alone
with how you feel about the kind of

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person you are becoming. If this
is too long, you can answer things

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like may Yes, you' re
right, I look funny or funny with

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that imitation that the person is doing. No, yeah, I look funny,

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and I did. I have no
problem accepting it and you turn around

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and leave. You have to keep
ignoring the comments that are going to continue

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behind this, but you always have
to think that when there is a joke,

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when there is a mockery, when
the other presents in unfortunate attitudes,

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in reality, what is there is
a great insecurity, a lack of self

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- esteem that requires the temporary pleasure
and the recognition of those around it to

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be able to act. So don' t go away with the fake insurance

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that may seem or sure that people
who make fun of you may seem,

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because you actually only give what you
bring in your heart. Or I would

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end the program by telling you,
Telling you to IT college teen boy,

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you don' t necessarily go to
college, but you' re college age

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and you suffer some kind of joke
joke about this it' s very important

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that you take into consideration that they' re all growing up and that the

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fact that you' re a kid, that you' re a teenager,

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that you' re almost an adult, always gives you the chance to think

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about what kind of person you want
to become, what you want to do

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forward, how you want to function
in the day to day and what you

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' re ashamed of and what you
like about yourself, because we' re

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building ourselves on the way. Many
times you think that adults are done.

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We are already very clear, we
already know that when you reach adult life,

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there is nothing more to mobilize from
us. And the reality is that

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yes, yes, there are things
that we can mobilize from us. Yes,

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there are things we can do different
around who we are and how we

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are. And that capacity you don' t have to lose. It'

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s true that today you have people
in your life who tell you, authorities

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who tell you. That' s
wrong. This is why you' re

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scolded. That' s why you' re grounded. This can' t

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get your attention, that you get
big rolls around the educational process. But

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the truth is that these people are
only a guide. At the end of

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the day, the decisions of who
you become and how you decide to accommodate

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your life experiences are yours. It
was a pleasure to be with you this

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day, to have you as you
listen to the mail for which you can

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write, send doubts and so on. It is chayo Arroba Radio Centro com

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or you can also do it by
following me through the networks where what you

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manage wonderfully, which are social networks. They can do it through the private

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part of the networks and write to
me. He does not find on Facebook

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as Rosario Busquets, in what was
Twitter today X as Arroba chayo BN and

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on Instagram and on Tiktok as Chayo
buskets. I hope you have an extraordinary

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afternoon and don' t miss the
programs that we have for you this Thursday

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and Friday, because they are programs
that you asked, that we generated again,

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that we passed again, because you
didn' t have the opportunity to

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listen to them and that had a
particular impact on the audience. One of

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them is a couple. We'
ll have our specialist Tariytron' s program

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again. So I' m expecting
you here in Chayo tomorrow. With you Audio Center

