Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery Broadcast. If you don't make mistakes, you
won't learn. With your host Corey Winfield, you know there was a reason
why that didn't work out, and you can look back at it and go,
yep, I'm glad that didn't work out how I wanted it, because
that would have been horrible. And co host Marline Winningfield fairly expensive membership to
Cold Gym when I was in college, but I used that all the time.
You don't make mistakes, you won't learn. It is Fridays, you
and twenty eight. My name is Corey Winfield, my name's Nie Winfield,
and this is the two seventeen Recovery Podcast for the eighth time tonight. Is
that about right, Corey Smoker? Yes, it is Jesse Smokers. That
seem about right. This is about right? Yeah, you know, I
was just letting you guys know, I don't just listen to the intro.
I live it. It's right, you know. We're just trying to hit
it again, and then I didn't. I'm on his microphone. She was
like trying to say her name, and I'm just like, for real,
that just happened. And we tried to do it the first time, but
then I had the MIC's in the right spot, so it wasn't really picking
everybody up. And Parker's joining us too, which is cute for a minute.
Maybe it's a little little boy. How old is he? Four weeks
and nine days? Today? It's five weeks? Okay, five weeks and
a couple of days. Yeah, yeah, that's it's funny because I like
the four weeks and nine days. Thank you. We went up to dinner
earlier and the waitress asked how old he was, and You're like, what
was he four weeks and four I was like, no, he's five weeks.
I think I'm just like now on track because you are wishing away his
newbornness every time. You're like, I can't wait till he's two. I
can't wait till he's three, can't wait till he can talk and walk?
And okay, in two years when we do the same podcast, when he's
here with us, tell me it's not gonna be cuter. I'm just saying.
So I'm just like, I'm doing the opposite. I'm like, no,
we're going to keep him young. For people, well who have children,
you know exactly, especially guys who have children. You know what I'm
going through. The baby loves the mama, like he sleeps on them.
Mean, she's everything to that little baby, you know. And yeah,
daddy's cool. Daddy can like put him down and let him give him some
me time. Momy can't do that. But I think when he gets bigger,
it'll be more fun for me. That's why I'm like, I'm not
wishing away his little cuteness. I'm just saying, here's what I see two
years from now, trying to do this podcast. I see a microphone swinging
this way. I see one of us ripping the headphones off, trying to
chase him. Yeah, or he could just be here trying to talk.
Yeah, true that, Like you see him hooked up his own little chair.
We'll have this serious conversation about whatever stupid president we have at that time,
and then we'll just hear a pooped. It was like it was thrown
in words like he's got Tourett's or something. I'm like, damn it,
Parker, No, we're having a serious conversation about our stupid president whatever once
you want it is, at least we know we were winning that, Like
whoever wins, good job. You suck. I'm voting for future president Winfield.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yes, I would have
killed them in that debate. Oh yeah, I don't think I can say
that when I'm talking about the president you obviously, well you said it right.
Yeah. It didn't mean like I'm not really going to I meant like
I would have just lyrically dilaplicated. I would have dilapplicated them. Yes,
not that's too close to the other word. But I'm not going to say
because it's you can't say that stuff about presidents obviously anyway. So yes,
the debate, Jesse, we spoke on this, and Martie's like, I
don't want to talk about this. You and Corey Smoker. You guys took
a nap. You got it started and you see you and got time for
this very smart women. Yes, yeah, Jesse and I are like,
we'll got to see what's coming, what's what, what is in our future
here and feel and see. Ian Parker was like, I just love to
do it, but I want to chime in. But it was the stuff
I heard from both sides. Man, it was it was tough. It
was very, very tough to to listen to and I I just couldn't even
wrap my brain around some of the stuff that was going on. Man.
Yeah, I think the only reason it didn't get more out of hand is
because they muted Trump's yeah. But and Biden he tried to go long a
couple times too. But when they asked the about addiction, that pissed me
off because they just were talking about some machines they got from the border test
whatever. Yeah, and then the legal aliens bring it to do And the
guy even gave him the even give another chances, He's like, Okay,
let me ask it again. What about people who suffer from addiction? How
are you going to help them? Well, if we can stop the legal
aliens from cross on the border, I'm like Jesus, Mother of Christ.
It just shows me how uneducated even the higher ups are and how bad it
is with addiction. Yeah, Like they just throw some money at it and
like, okay, now'll fix it. And then maybe they're and that's the
thing too, and you guys probably know this, but they try to chart
and track everything, and they do a survey, or they'll do this,
or they'll ask people this, But who are they asking the right questions?
First of all, and who are they asking those questions too? Are they
telling the truth? I mean, there's so many things to go into this,
Like we give people, we give them minds, we give them a
thing that's called the Bark ten, which is ten questions like how you feeling,
you think they your family, friends are helping, you know, blah
blah blah, And it's like just ten quiet. Are those the right questions
to be asking to base, like the whole funding thing or where you're going
or what you're doing to help people? I don't know. Yeah, there
seems that there would be a better way to be able to put actual numbers
behind how bad addiction is in the United States and not just want to blame
the drugs coming in to the United States. Yeah, like the ones from
the liquor store or the liquor factory where they're making liquor and beer. And
about that is that come up from Mexico too, right, Because there's still
more people who drink than do with the other drugs. So it's kind of
like, well, what we do about that? That's that's still people who
are addicted. If you'd ask me two days, well probably I didn't know
because I started shaking road, but before my liver shut down and kidney shut
down, if you had asked me around that time, like maybe let's say
six months before that, are you an alcoholic? Are you an addict?
And I said no. And so if someone would have came by on a
survey and I said no, yeah, how much do you drink? I
would have lied. I don't know about a pine a night, but really
it was more than the fifth the night. But oh yeah, But like
I would have lied about it. You know, I wasn't going to tell
the truth. I would want it because I didn't want them to judge me.
So again, I think a lot of people are in that same boat.
Yeah, So like these questionneers and all these surveys and these stats that
they want, well, we need stats. We need these numbers, and
are you getting the right ones? And the end of the day, when
I'm president, We're gonna have fun in recovery, you know. That's that
was my motto going into it. It seems to attract some fun people and
that's what we do, and that's what it's all about. I mean,
recovery is serious. It's I mean, it's a life and death thing.
But if you're not having fun, you're gonna go why would you stay?
Yeah, I mean at least I mean when we're using right, we're numbing
it. Are we having fun? No? But we're not feeling that pain
in that moment, you know, And that's why we're trying to escape,
you know, because we don't like the way we feel. Right. And
if you're just trying to white knuckle it and go through life, just well,
I'm just not gonna use, not gonna drink. But you didn't change
anything. You're not having fun, life's miserable. Well, nothing's changed,
you know, You're still going to be feeling miserable. Correct, That's what
I was gonna say. I'm like, I definitely won't if I didn't start
redefining my definition of fun and living in recovery and start meeting and hanging out
with more people with like mindedness to me, and stayed miserable in my recovery,
yeah, I would have. I would have done picked up by now
and not stuck around to see all the gifts and miracles that I've had along
the way. And in the beginning it was easy for me to stay miserable.
Gave me excuse to continue to act the way I was acting, but
without drugs and alcohol. See, nothing's getting better. Yeah, drank of
two weeks with this stupid This doesn't work because I just wanted. I just
needed to get bad enough so I could leave or justify the reason why I'm
going to go back out and destroy myself. But like when we had the
two one seven Recovery show here last week and it was about hope, I
heard a lot of people say, yeah, sobered up, but all my
problems were still there, and it's like, Yep, that's where the work
begins, and that's where that's where it really you know, that's where the
rubber meets the road, if you will. And I think for me when
all that kind of came to a reality, like boom, still got the
problem, still got this, still have this, Still got bills that haven't
paid, still have you know, a little crappy car, you know,
like it was all those little things. But when I went to treatment that
last time, it was like I took the approach of I'm reinventing myself,
Like I'm going to start a new life for myself, and why would I
go back to the old one. It clearly wasn't working and I'm gonna have
fun and recovery and I'm gonna learn about myself. I'm in this treatment center.
I can't leave after a week or two like I normally would. So
there's some options, you know, like I can just be miserable and hate
it, or I can be like, no, I'm going to change and
I'm going to reinvent myself. And I don't know what that that person is
or what it's going to be, but you know, change can be scary.
And I think what helped me the most was is finding that people were
thinking like I thought and they were relatable. I was like, oh,
I'm not the only one who thinks like that, thank god, you know,
because I'm selfish. I'm thinking like I'm the only one going through this.
I'm a piece of you know, I'm a piece of garbage. I'm
no good. I just can't get it, you know. I'm just I'm
going to die of this disease because I'm just hopeless and all the things I
think is just the disease trying to keep us right where he wants us sick,
doesn't want us to be out in the light. No. And we
were talking earlier and Corey I don't know what you said about it. I
think you probably agree. But when we first were introduced to a recovery coach,
and I was thinking maybe six years ago for me, seven years ago,
maybe I hated them. I didn't have much good to say about him,
and I'm like, what are you trying to prove? What are you
trying to show? And my first dealing with them was in Ben Harbor at
this place called the Riverwood. And this dude, the first one I met,
He's making maybe twelve bucks an hour and he would come on just talk.
I'm like, okay, that's why I go in there. And he
just started telling about all these drugs that he did and I'm like, all
right, dude, like see you later, buddy, And nothing wrong with
making twelve bucks an hour, but I'm just saying like he wasn't living that
life where I'd be like, wow, I want to do that, you
know. And I think that's what's cool about two to seventeen Recovery and where
we're at is like we can give people a good career with this and really
help people and have other people look up to us and go while you're a
recovery coach, while you're not trying to tell me what to do. You're
not bragging about all the drugs you did, and you're actually pointing me in
the right direction. Like that's a pretty cool gig man. And then sometimes
you just got to drive across the beautiful state of Michigan and pick some money
up or talk with them or do something cool like that, Like, dude,
I could do that, Like that's a real career for me. You
know, I've been to jail four times. You could say, well,
you know, that's actually a resume builder in our profession because you know exactly
what we're going to talk about. You know, you know exactly how it
feels getting out of jail, you know, or going to jail, and
a lot of times you've been to treatment. Cool how many times? That's
perfect because we take people to that place that you've been to eight times,
you know, and it works. But yeah, just that guy though,
was just like kind of had nothing offer. And I don't think they had
the training back then either. I think they're just like, hey, how
long you got cleaned when whatever their little amount was then, right, year,
two years, whatever, it was all right, Cool, you're hired.
But I think what's cool about some of the organizations maybe that now have
the recovery coaches, I think that there's a little bit more of some guidelines
for them to kind of stay in maybe. But also now what I see
from the recovery coaches I kind of seen when I was coming in or I
was starting six seven years ago. To now the recovery coaches that I kind
of am viewing in my vision, I'm seeing them actually like living in the
recovery as well. And that's kind of what I mean. If I was
looking for a recovery coach, I'd want to see someone that's also walk in
the walk, that's living the life and recovery as well. So when they're
coming at me with their different maybe resources or what help for them, I
can see I'm like, wow, Okay, you made some sacrifices, but
you also set some goals, and now look where you're going. I right,
I want to go somewhere positive too. I don't want to see I
don't want to hear the hero over here. But then I know what you're
skipping down the street over there doing, you know. So yeah, and
there's nothing better than a drug addict, an alcoholic, or just a drug
addict giving back to another attic nobody else understands. And I don't think a
lot of people understand that, Like all my story is not that good.
No, it's real good, you know. Like I always think, like,
thank God, my wife didn't have to go as far down the scale
I did, but we had the same bottom. She just got to hers
a little quicker than I did. But it's the same, you know.
And that's what I like to see. Like I like seeing that recovery coaches
aren't exempt from doing what the newcomer has to do to stay sober themselves.
And there is nothing better than seeing a recovery coach at a function, a
two one seven function, or ATS function, or even at a meeting.
It's like, oh, okay, you do this too. There's something to
say about that, Yeah, there really is. And it brings that,
like you said, Corey, that I want to see what you're doing and
I want to see you out there in the streets doing it. And the
guy that I was talking about, he like lived in South Bend. It's
like he really wasn't a part of that community, you know, like in
Ben Harbor, Like he lived in a different state, and it was just
like I'm never going to see this dude around. I don't even know this
dude, and I don't know. It was just it was not the ideal
situation. But I think things have changed and I think, you know,
the guidelines and everything are a little different. And just the fact that you
can take the state training now, you know, back then, I don't
think they had that even in the state training. I was so surprised by
it because it was actually good. I was going into it like it's gonna
be a state training that's probably gonna suck, But it was actually really really
good and I learned a lot of things, and it was nice to know
that I'm gonna send my guys there to take it, you know, because
Mitch took it and Justin already taken it. But it was nice to know,
like, Okay, they're not just going to some bs play around all
week. Thing. It was. It was real training, and it was
it was really good and everybody gets something out of it. So it was
nice. And there's people that are coming through that I'm like, hey,
do you want to be a recovery coach? This is the stuff that you
need to do, and here's the stuff that you need to take and one
woman she's got a year, like over a year, but you got to
have two years to take the state training. But then you do that and
you can work for a place that can actually employ you if they build medicaid
and they go that route, which you're certified with the stay you can you're
billable. So if she can become an asset to different places. And she
took one training and it's a cee car training, which is is okay,
it's good. You know, it's a foot in the door, and you
can take that when you're six months clean, even though they tell you you're
sober when you say you are. And then they'll say at least one point
in your life if you've had a year clean, well, okay, I
had like twelve years clean at one point, I don't knows. You're a
kid, but they say that, and it's just like you're in recovery and
say you are, but you got to have like six months, you gotta
have two years, you know, like none of it makes sense. But
I think most people who want to do that play it straight anyway. You
know, they're they're not going to go in there and black I got three
years and they got like six months or two weeks, you know, so
I and the state went too. They'll like interview you before you take it,
and yeah, so they're trying to weed out the byesirs because I'm sure
there are some you know, we could be as a lot of people back
in our day. Oh yeah, well, and I just think and they
probably see that, and they're interviewing, like, what is your motive and
motivation behind becoming a peer recovery coach? Well, I want to go swimming
and what was it drowned? I want to drowned in Oh, this is
this saying just kidding. We're not going there, no, obviously, but
yeah, So that's that's recovery coaching nowadays. And I think it's a good
career path for some people. And they were saying that we need more of
them and stuff, and I agree to an extent, but I just think
we need stuff for them to do. Yeah, you know, like I
think that they you know, they've come along ways and like they kind of
got this bobbling guideline a little bit of like what they are, where their
limitations are, where they should stay in ethically. Now, it's like,
what how do we like have that set up for them in motion on a
daily job. Basiss to make it like a productive right role, right,
because some guys will just come to the office and send a desk all day
and not do anything, you know, and that would be that would be
boring, man, Like that's not having fun. It's a long day.
Yeah, And I'm just like, well, how about we grab some guys
who don't have vehicles and go to a meeting out of town, right,
you know, like we used to have fun man, backgrounds were living going
to meetings. Oh yeah, and we'd go to meetings thirty minutes away and
it was a meeting on the way to the meeting and a meeting on the
way back and we play some stupid game and laugh and yep. It was
fun, man, it really was. And I kind of miss those days
a little bit. But you gotta do something, and that's something that people
can do easily, you know, like, hey, pick up the phone
to start calling some recoveries. We got like seven hundred phone numbers on our
blazer, maybe even more, probably more. Yeah, and it's like,
see, these people want to go to a meeting, Let's go pick them
up. Yeah. Our big thing here, which I miss a lot is
uh was Saturday Night Live at Munson the Open Talk. I missed that a
lot, which yeah, I mean they try to do it, but it's
not the same as it was, no, because you could you know,
you going to the hospital and you're bringing people down from the hospital who are
suffering from this disease whichever it is. You got people from rehabs and Taikowski
and Phoenix, and I mean there's over hundred and fifty people and one one
night listen to the message and that, you know, and then everybody starts
showing up every Saturday, and you start to get recognized. You know,
people start saying noticing you and like, hey, good to see you again,
or how you been or was John right? Or there's nothing better than
somebody remembering you, you know, just to make you feel that much better
about yourself. But that was a good time that I missed those days.
I've heard of it, but I've never actually been there in person. And
that COVID kill that, No, they had some well so then there was
some mishaps, you know, some abuse of the property. So then we
got moved to the cancer Center. But then yeah, COVID, that was
it because I was supposed to do an open talk at the cancer Center when
they moved over there for my five years. But March seventeenth was when they
twenty twenty was when they X made they shut down the meetings, and I
remember that being just like they shut down AA, that being a big thing.
Yes, and so then we ended up having it. But we always
broke the COVID rule at our house. We always had a bunch of people
over. Oh yeah, I mean if we were going to get ticketed,
we were getting ticketed big because we had at least thirty forty people outside beach
chairs. You know, we're doing it, UFC fights, you name it.
Come on over the smokers. So you know, I'm in an alcoholic
and an addict dude that cannot be alone for very long. You know what
I'm saying, like, Oh, you can't make it to a meeting,
Let's have a meeting here. I got a coffee pot. You know,
I like that stuff. I mean it's that simple. Yeah, it's that
simple, you know, to get COVID three times. Yeah, but you
know what it was worth it. It was worth every single every single case
of COVID that I got, because you know what I guarantee going back out,
you know, I guarantee there were simple I mean people who got sober
during COVID. My hat goes off to you guys, because I would have
used that. I would have ran with that. I mean, so people
who made it through COVID sober, you're the real MVP. But we didn't
get COVID until twenty We got it three times in twenty twenty three. I
think it was Wow. Yeah, we don't even talk about all that.
Well, I'm just saying that's when we got COVID. We made it healthy,
or we made it through all of that and then nope, there's only
the first time we had it together and we were dead in the bed.
And then then I had it separate, and then Jesse had it separate.
Oh, and then I just had it this past Christmas. But that was
like I felt like a sore throat and a running nose for two days.
I mean, we're a professional. Now you've had it three times, so
it's like you get COVID. It's kind of like just the simples and a
cough. You know. I just never went away, right, Yeah,
Yeah, I kept getting from my wife and got it from her job.
Yeah, they were masks. Nazis. There is what they the term,
this is what they call them. Because I got to wear your mask,
got to wear your mask? How the hell am I getting COVID? Then?
Right in the same way I brought it home from work. Yeah all
the time. I don't know. They're trying to kill us. Mm hmm.
Yeah, sober Life insurance is up to date. They don't need us
anymore. She's hanging out the house of who has COVID? You okay,
come here, give me a kiss, Honny, cough on me. Yeah,
if it feinish and like people cough on me, just do it.
How do you keep coughing on me when I'm kissing? Damn it? You
wake up and she's just like hovering over you, Just yeah, what are
you doing on me? Just like, no, we're not very good people
when we're sick. So no, I'm the worst. I'm the worst.
I think I got the worst sickness. Something from Africa, Like to get
away from me. He was so sick. And then my wife's like stop
being a little baby. She's all working and doing her damn just like get
away from me. I just do him with will. That's what I was
doing tomor. He was like, you can't be drinking all that, you
know, blah blah blah. And I'm like, I drink it just to
go to sleep because I didn't want to be alive, you know, like,
oh that's what my wife does to me. And she's like, god
that you want the alcohol one of the one. I'm like, I don't
care. It was like that's not enough alcohol in there to get me drunk.
Like, trust me, I'm trying to go sleep, have COVID and
I don't care what what what everyone's on sale. Whatever I have on the
shelf sounds good to me as long as it says nighttime. Let's run with
it. Yeah, you know, like I don't really That green one was
horrible. Oh my work good though, I don't care. It worked good
though, if you can get it down. I got it down no problem.
Then mine kept coming out. But the backside yeah yeah, like you
be sitting there Google, Oh we need be like blow it up. Thanks
Green night, Quill. That was horrible. Imagine getting COVID in a camper.
I got COVID in a camper and the toilet was broke. Who nope,
so bad? Wow? Yeah, so you and Mitch got something common
obviously. Yeah. Yeah, Jimmy here his story. I think he told
us once. Yeah, yeah, because the bear went back to the scene.
Yeah yeah, Mitch has a bear video and you can watch it at
two seventeen recovery dot com. That explains it all, same scene and everything
time. The bear mascot. Mitch is a bear talker. He's a bear
whisper. Sorry. Yeah, that's a pretty good video. Whoa everyone those
places haunted. My just got pushed. I just fell into my desk.
So you guys like the studio though, Oh yeah, our first guess in
the North studio. Yeah, you feel like you're straight up vip in here.
I'm not sure of sun change subjects. I know where Parker gets his
his wobbles from. I'll tell you that right now. You just rolled off
the mat. I was pushed off the mat. Pushed. Yeah, the
cat did it on the that was the bear ghost. Yeah, this is
a burial ground anyways. The lights here down here that you have going on,
I like the blue I like on the desk lights. You get a
nice little fireplace here. Yeah. Martie gives me help for it. She's
just like and yesterday, She's like I don't know. I mean it was
Today's I don't think you're some kind of bachelor or something like, why would
I have to be a bachelor have cool things? Oh, I think it's
very well organized. Up. Okay, I like it. It looks good.
Well, thanks guys, clean, I appreciate it. You know,
I got the I think your whole house looks amazing. Panels and it's pretty
cool. And you guys, I really like your art. Yeah, thank
you. The new piece of art on the wall. Oh do you talking
about the fur of fire? Yeah? Oh that is nice and I think
it works great. Yes, it's not right now you can't hear it.
No, No, it's very nice. And even if it did smell like
box, it doesn't now because we're used to it. So no, I
didn't smell that at all, so it's ticketed. Nope, still can't smell
it, so we're used to it now. It's good. I didn't smell
it once coming into your house. Now, came through the front door and
nothing, and you know you had cats. Serious, I don't smell it
at all. It's working. I don't know, hopefully it is because it's
working. It was kind of like pretty expensive one I think it was working
great. Yeah, it smells good. We got air air purifier. Ours
is low. It's like a white noise thing you have outside your office to
drawn people so they can't hear what you're saying behind the door. Yeah,
well we have one like that. It's a shark or something. I think.
I know they make vacuums, but I think that's a shark. And
if I were to vape in the same room with it, two seconds later,
it goes from blue to like red and it it just sucks everything right
out of the room. Well that's kind of nice. Yeah, but this
is kind of loud. Yeah yeah, ours is okay, something's getting purified.
But some of them you can buy are just junk. Like we had
this one that we bought. We put it in the cat room and all
it did was just it took the air in and it just blew it all
over the room. So yeah, yeah, yeah, that one is.
We haven't even thrown it away. We're just we're so disgusted by it.
It's in the storage room, just regifted. Yeah yeah, yeah, but
that's a that's a good white elephant. There. You go, mom,
use purifier, plug it in and it'll really freshen up your place. That's
cat litter, that's understand. Yeah, it's by Riffer Breeze by Justin Burke.
Frabas by Justin Burke would be his new cologne, Got Fabulous and Frabas
Frebez Frebaz. Yeah. I could see the commercials too, just looking at
the camera. Have you seen his video then? No? No, his
fabulous video. You saw Minch's bear video, but you didn't see Justin's fabulous
video. Oh I have no, I have not. We're breaking. We're
getting Essee Moore into this and listening and yes, I'm slow, and the
more that he's listed the words, laughing, and then he's like putting together
all this stuff right, so yeah, yeah, it's good, it's good.
We got to let Jesse just arrive on his own time and then once
he's there, then he's all in. So yeah, I'm a slow burn.
And then it's off to the races kind of thing, like he's all
in now, especially because he did not know what you had in the back
of your car today and then boom he was like, oh yeah that's my
man right there. Oh yeah, stalking Milingo Birst real confused. He's like
I need your help, all right, man, my car, your car
kind of thing, you know, it's on the car. I'm like,
all right, cool, walk out of the car. I'm like, what
could possibly be in here that he needs my help with? And then of
course, you know, it's just like opens all nice. It's like a
movie, you know, bam boom boom, boom bump, sixty five inches
a love brand new TV. I'm like, that's right, Oh yeah,
right up, my alley, help you with that. What did you think
following us to your house from dinner? Is there any thoughts really giggling or
anything? I don't think so. Were you just praying that a couch didn't
come out at you? Was like, hope, Like they were cool with
that couch getting wet, and I was like, well, I'm pretty sure
they are. I think they talked about it at dinner, like they're getting
rid of it. So tomorrow. Yeah, I told to my wife I
was getting ready for the Fall Color tour. Three people at a time.
Boy, it's gonna be a good ride. Yeah. They have a pickup
truck. In the back of their truck, they have this couch. But
you guys have said that you've got new sitting recliners. Yeah, new sitting
options, and you got some nice recliners. So you getting rid of this
couch and you know, you just happened to have it back of the truck.
It's raining out here in Michigan's lay and Favorise City, so we just
tried to fit in a little bit. Huh. You never know when the
smoker stole up, Okay, I was like, the gas casts open to
should tell matter. Maybe that's just something they're doing. Now, that's a
that's a gas gas saving mold. It kind of comes out a little bit
to get some wings, to get some wings. Yeah, that's good,
that's good. Yeah. And then my wife almost had a tree in the
parking lot today. That was scary. It's just there, it's just turning
the road a tree. Yeah. Yeah, And I can only imagine at
night time because there ain't no street lights up here. You just like,
what was that? That's a tree on the road. Yep. It has
a tiny little reflector on it. It's gonna be too late by the time
you notice that reflector. Well, especially because you know, I don't think
I think out of all of us, we might have some twenty twenty vision
here no, I'm real close. I mean I probably take us down a
lot, so, yeah, but you're blind. I can see I can
see perfect close about seven eight feet away, and I'm like, who are
you? And my wife? Can any one of us see far away?
No? No, don't ask me. I'm negative point negative three point five.
But you knows. The TVs keep getting bigger, bigger, and we
keep I'm like, we did a bigg one over here, you scoot that
closer, and she's like, you don't need a bigger one. I was
today when I was looking about the tea and I'm like, but she would
kill me if I replaced that one, because that one was like, nope,
that's the one for a couple of years. And so I'm like,
okay, cool, fair game on that one. The one upstairs our bedroom.
Fair game, right, because that one's still on that wall, so
that one's not getting replaced for an other year. Yeah. I respect that
my wife allows me to get new TVs. She knows it's important to me.
So we always just keep rotating. But we can't. We don't really,
we can't get any bigger than the one we have. Now, Oh
sure we could, that's that's yeah. We can always go bigger. Just
move stuff out of the way. Yeah, we just got to make sure
we have a wall long enough. Is the is the Yeah, that wall
right there. I get one hundred and twenty easy all day, And that's
what would be perfect that. I mean, eighty five is going to look
great there because he's eighty five big enough. I mean, is it ever
going to get big enough? I mean, once you go eighty five,
you're not going to go back down to a fifty five ever again except for
in the office, Well that's forty eight, I think. I mean that's
different though. Yeah, you know, but but over there in the Winfield
Plex, which is right right next to the office, right, because I
mean like from here, it just looks like a normal TV, right.
You can't afford season tickets anymore, you might as well buy the TV so
you feel like you're a season ticket holder. That's how I look at it.
Yeah, And it's just it just doesn't work. Like I had to
put my glasses on. I don't like watching movies in my glasses. I
man, And this was months ago, and it was like a Julia Roberts
movie and I was like, WHOA. I guess all the wrinkles because I
had just got a new prescription, which I now have a new new prescription.
Zone that's how my eyes are going. So I'm just like, we
gotta get closer, or we gotta get bigger. Yeah, But the problem
is, like some of them bigger ones are like one hundred inches or whatever.
They're not the O LEDs, right, So why are they going to
start making those bigger? Right? So maybe they do. They're like thirty
grand or something. Yeah, stupid, don't make one that big. As
soon as you buy one that big, well, I'm just going to spend
thirty grand out of it, you know. No. I always wait,
then you can get you a high sense one hundred and twenty inch or for
like three ninety nine, right, And I'm like, whoa, No,
I'm not going to fall for that one again. Like my next one will
be an eight k TV. I'm just waiting a little bit because there's no
reason for me to jump to the eight k right now. Four K is
doing just fine, and they're cheaper. Remember back in the day when we
had the boob tube, like those things break yourself trying to move those things.
I don't know how we used to do that. Got thirty two.
I ain't helping you move dogs. Sorry. And then you got those people
that had the the ones that were just like that big ass unit and they
were just flat. They weren't you couldn't see nothing. I'm like, but
people thought that was the shoot. And those people are so excited looking them
off flat screen. Oh yeah, yeah, dude, that's like an entertainment
center in itself, like, oh yeah, you help me move it.
We had a guy speaking at entertainment centers, what about just moving to entertainment
center? Not Yeah, I feel like we got hoaxed in that, you
know me, entertainment centers we bought in our times, ben and now hanging
on the wall, yeah, on the wall, or what is that thing
over there I have that's holding up the sound bar, a little shell or
something, but it's perfect. Yeah yeah, but it's not entertainment's center.
A big old wooden thing made of real solid oak that has the hole in
it to put the big old built by the Amish stood no knock on I
real hard. I'm like, fun, that's heavy looking. Yeah yeah it
is. Ship Yeah three ninety nine, I have a delivered body amiss show
and over here in about two weeks. They're like, damn, come on
all the way from Indiana. No, Pennsylvania. But it's real solid,
like damn it man. Yeah, and I get it there and then you
get kicked out and you gotta move. Yo, Can you come help me
move? Yeah? Most of the time, I just love myself. There.
I forgot to tell you aboupstairs. Yeah, Oh, we don't do
stairs. No, come on, Jimsiah, let's get out of here.
Got they really peeled out of here. They were gone. I'm like,
get them and you call animal control and you report them for abuse and animals
or whatever you call them police. These people around here just being the ship
out of this horse man. Oh, there these funny hats on the ship.
They talked weird a little bit. Ask I bet if you pull them
over, they won't give you no ID. They old enough to drive,
they said, cops can't. Cops can't mess with me. So they said,
because they don't pay taxes. Just kidding. I homage people. Yeah,
I don't really know them, but I do. They work hard.
They Parker's dresser. They're made by homage people. Nice. Yeah, because
we're looking at it and it's like, look like we're gonna get something like
one hundred bucks off Amazon, right we could or are we going to get
some for a couple of hundred more dollars or however much it was, I
can't remember. But this is something he's going to take with them, you
know, Like that's what's the money we bought him. Like, this is
something he's gonna move out with. Like this stuff is really quality and it
might have some stickers on it or some dumb shit, but I'd be like,
that's what you did when you were four, it's yours. Take it
with you, and I think that's worth the investment, then, you know
what I mean, that's what we do for the little man. Yeah,
he wasn't even here yet. Yeah, having kids is weird. Having eight
kids weird. I'm all, like kids, still, it's just one,
but still, it's it's a life change. It's a life changing event that
is evolving. Right. And I don't remember if I already said it in
this podcast, or if there was one before but the one that would do
it in there or anything, But when she was talking about how I want
to Parker to grow up, but I do, and it's for a selfish
reason, just for the fact that I want him to be too. I
want him to love Daddy like right now. Sure, Mommy is his source,
man. Yeah, she loves him to death man, and I do
too, But she has that bond, you know, she feeds him,
she keeps him alive. He knows that. And like this morning, I
woke up and I rolled over and I looked and she was sleeping and he
was on her chest and he was just sleeping. He just looked so comfortable,
both of them did. And I was just like oh, and I
stared at Hi for about ten minutes. I started like going, hey,
girl, just put a little baby over there. There needs some love.
Not just kidding sort of but not really. But but I did take that
ten minutes in though, to just be like wow, like this is this
is my family, Like this is amazing and God is so good. And
even though we had to go through the dark, yeah, and we had
hit them bottoms and we had to feel all that pain, it was worth
every minute of it. And I wouldn't change it for the world. It
makes me appreciate what I have today. And I'm not just talking about diabetes
up either. I'm just talking about like just in life in general, relationships,
friends, having people over to the house, you know, doing a
podcast in the Ghoals studio. You know, like it's just just little stuff,
you know, going to have pizza and that's your hard work and that
your goals that you you wanted one day are it worked hard and they're coming
true for you. Marnie too, about to show you something. So this
was something that my therapist and ment Harmer was like, you're in there.
I want you to write some goals now, right, five things that you
want to achieve with in a year. And of course you won't be able
to read it. Oh you might be able to, but like five things
you want and you know how you're going to get there and the ways that
I remained sober in the past. And so I wrote on a piece of
paper and I have it framed now and it's just just sitting in the the
desk here. But man, I don't have my phone to get any more
light. Sorry, I just hand or so she can't read because there's there's
like blue lights and stuff in the studio, so you can't really read anything
on that. Cool. That's that's a good look back, right there is
a good healthy reminder and I'm you know, I deframed it and there's like
five things I want to accomplish in a year, you know, and I
put on there, I wanted to find a woman worth my love and I
wasn't going to settle and I want someone to look going to love me like
I love them, and you know, I have kids. And the therapist
that was in the room with me because my therapists had me at Harbor,
I made her call there, which I'm sure she didn't like. Probably I
sheldn't like me. She's like, oh, you might be rushing it there,
you know, And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm
just saying, like I know what I want in the future. I'm not
going to settle for someone. Like if the woman is not someone I want
to settle down with or think about having children with, I'm not going to
waste my time. Yeah. I like it. I mean I like it,
you know. I mean you knew what you wanted. I mean,
that's that's great. And you know, Marnie was I mean, Parker's are
a little miracle baby, really and it got to the point where it's like,
all right, we might not have children. I was like, all
right, that's cool. We got three cats. You know, like I
still found the woman of my dreams. Yes, you know, my soulmate.
Yes, so you know, like I was cool either way, but
you know the fact that we were blessed with little Parker was just you know,
cherry on top. You know. It's like God's good. Yeah,
you know, it just keeps getting better, it really does, you know.
And again it's kind of like that whole don't leave before the miracle happens,
yeah, because they just keep happening. We don't know when, but
it happens. It does, it does happen. The promises are true,
and that's one thing about a love the promises. Yea. And if there's
someone struggling right now, I mean they're probably not listening to this podcast,
and that's cool. I get it. I wouldn't have either. But if
a loved one of yours or whoever, you know, don't give up on
them. It's a process. It takes time. It's it's not like a
debate. No, it's it's not gonna it's a marathon. It's not a
race, yeah it's but it's it can be done. And we're proof of
that, all four of us, and Marnie's not on the podcast anymore.
She took Parker upstairs because he was getting fussy. But she'll tell you too.
You know, it's just don't give up, keep doing it and when
it all clicks, it is the best feeling ever when you can like put
it all together and you can realize, like this is going pretty well.
But anyway, I think you guys, I have to go. I think
I have a kid to pick up. Yeah, and blowing on my phone.
But I mean, you know, we wait for her to go to
work. We stop, our plans go away for us. Well, we'll
probably have to do the TV SM other time though, Okay, let us
go. Jesse spends the night where I can come back and get him.
Oh yeah, we do that too. So if you want to get it
up, that's gonna be a drop the TV hung up on the wall before
you're left to do it by yourself because your wife said no, because my
wife said no. Dilaplicated. All right, we'll land on that. But
thanks, thanks guys for come bout the studio. Yeah tonight, it's a
lot of fun and we'll talk. We'll do this again sometime. It was
fun. Thank you. Thanks for listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast.
Listen to over nine hundred episodes on the two seventeen Recovery app that's free in
your app store or online at two seventeen recovery dot com m