1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:09,800 Welcome to soft Core History. What is up, guys? Welcome back to 2 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:15,759 softcore History. I am your host and a ghost for the week, Rob 3 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,480 Fox, because I'm coming to you from the past. I'm the ghost of 4 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:22,480 Christmas Past this week. That's right, Rob, because we are giving you 5 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,679 that's Jake Goldman, showned by him and Dan Regester. As always, we 6 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:34,200 are giving you a special sneak peek into a Patreon episode from the past for 7 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:37,759 our Christmas Week episode. Because believe it or not, we don't really want 8 00:00:37,759 --> 00:00:40,000 to work this week. We took a week off. We did. We 9 00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:42,439 took a week, Yeah, we did. Sorry guys, we were like, 10 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:47,039 no, I have only want to apologize to our Patreon listeners who were 11 00:00:47,079 --> 00:00:50,840 like, hey, I've heard this months ago. I heard this. Listen 12 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:56,359 technically this would come out Christmas Day. You ain't listening, no, And 13 00:00:56,399 --> 00:00:59,439 if you are, thanks, Oh my god. Yeah. There's some dogs 14 00:00:59,439 --> 00:01:03,159 that are at the house that isn't where people are eating Christmas dinner. I'm 15 00:01:03,159 --> 00:01:07,120 looking at the numbers though right now. It's just not worth it. Juice 16 00:01:07,159 --> 00:01:11,920 is not worth the squeeze. You didn't make it worth it. I think 17 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:17,040 it's it's really you know, I don't know, maybe if you told more 18 00:01:17,079 --> 00:01:21,959 people about us, join the Patreon Yeah yeah, Patreon dot com slash Software 19 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,439 History is where you can get episodes like this all the time. It's five 20 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:29,799 AD free though it's AD free on the wall here today, No, not 21 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,319 at all. Here. We're loading this bitch with that, backing it up 22 00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,840 with ads. We got Christmas resis to pay for. But it's five dollars 23 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,920 a month to get two extra episodes a week, including an episode like this, 24 00:01:38,079 --> 00:01:42,000 fun stuff, you know what I mean. We do watch along voicemails, 25 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,840 game shows, all kinds of stuff like that, as well as regular 26 00:01:44,879 --> 00:01:48,840 episodes like we do on the main feed. This specifically is a game show 27 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:53,799 though, Yes, so I really liked this episode prob through a curve ball. 28 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:59,439 Yeah, was not normally not in Rob's repertoire of episodes to throw a 29 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:04,719 game show us. I didn't or normally I don't. Yeah, so tested 30 00:02:04,079 --> 00:02:07,480 and what was it? Who is the better father? Between me and Jake? 31 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,039 It was? Yeah, So the game show is who is the better 32 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:14,960 father? And Dan and Jake we determine who the better father is between the 33 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,240 two of them children here, so I'm the perfect judge of this. It 34 00:02:17,599 --> 00:02:25,360 makes total sense. So I asked them questions best about best parenting practices from 35 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:31,319 the past, right, Like, for example, if Timmy gets trampled by 36 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:38,680 a trolley, do you give him laudanum, do you bring a priest to 37 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:42,840 read him his last rites? Or do you make him sit in a corner 38 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:46,199 until he heals? Or snort mercury? Yeah, one of those probably, 39 00:02:46,719 --> 00:02:51,360 But really it's based on real parenal, real insane parenal advice from mostly the 40 00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:55,439 nineteenth, eighteenth, and nineteenth century. And I make Dan guess, Dana 41 00:02:55,560 --> 00:03:00,159 j guess which is the real answer, which is just some insane shit I 42 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,400 made up, and believe it or not. It's it's really hard to tell. 43 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:07,400 It's really hard to tell a fucking difference. It's insane. How many 44 00:03:07,439 --> 00:03:10,919 times you would think mercury was not an answer. I'm not giving anything away. 45 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:15,560 It's always mercury. Mercury's in a lot. It affected so much of 46 00:03:15,599 --> 00:03:20,560 our yeah, our lives in the past, it really did. It comes. 47 00:03:20,599 --> 00:03:23,039 It's a tight game. It's a fun game. It is very tight. 48 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,520 The lead changes a lot, yeah, a lot of lead changes, 49 00:03:24,599 --> 00:03:30,840 a little back and forth, and without further ado, here is who is 50 00:03:30,879 --> 00:03:35,919 the better father? What is up. Welcome back to the softcore history Patreon, 51 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:39,680 and let me just express my love for you are paying listeners. My 52 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:44,319 god, you make our lives just a little bit easier, and we want 53 00:03:44,319 --> 00:03:46,879 to make it easier. Still, tell your friends that this is the only 54 00:03:46,039 --> 00:03:51,400 content they need to be paying for in the world. I am joined as 55 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,199 always by my co host Dan Chester and Jake Goldman. I am Rob Fox. 56 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:59,319 We have one dying cricket. I hear it in the corner, but 57 00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:03,000 we're just for strout like what we didn't But yeah, as a studio, 58 00:04:03,039 --> 00:04:09,120 we sprayed. I have the salt gun, thanks to Guess. Thanks Gus. 59 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,759 What's fucked up is the light that's on me. There's like ten dead 60 00:04:11,759 --> 00:04:15,680 crickets in it. There really is. There's it's like four or five. 61 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,079 But yeah, they get it. Oh one still that poor bastards still alive 62 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,480 in there, like starving to death, trying to figure out how the fuck 63 00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:21,639 he got in there. He's like, why is the sun so close? 64 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:26,120 Yeah, but yeah, it's kind of like a nineties, shitty nineties house 65 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:29,759 where the fluorescent box light as like nineteen bugs in it. Yep, yeah, 66 00:04:29,879 --> 00:04:33,000 that's what we lived in. Several of those in this century. Yeah, 67 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:39,079 our apartment certainly had those. Yeah yeah. Oh, if you're a 68 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,279 Patreon subscriber, guess what. We have three new T shirts and you get 69 00:04:42,319 --> 00:04:45,600 twenty percent off of them with the code softy. That's s O F T 70 00:04:45,759 --> 00:04:49,879 I E. I buy some merch buy some merch ahead, and then Discord 71 00:04:49,879 --> 00:04:53,040 give us some my dance for T shirts. I'll make them, Dan, 72 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:58,319 We'll make whatever you want. It is free for us to produce these shirts. 73 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,519 Be our billboards. I always see these. There's like someone who lives 74 00:05:01,519 --> 00:05:06,399 in around me. Uh does the car billboard? Yeah, you know what 75 00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:11,120 I mean, our cars. We're not really our money on ane of this. 76 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,040 We'd rather you just wear the shirt. Yeah. No, they're all 77 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,879 printed on demand. They're really slim margin. We don't make a lot of 78 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,079 money. We just want you to support the podcast, so it takes twenty 79 00:05:18,079 --> 00:05:23,480 percent off and get a shirt. Yeah. We wouldn't get multiple shirts and 80 00:05:23,519 --> 00:05:25,800 then take that twenty percent off, you know, but yeah, yeah, 81 00:05:25,879 --> 00:05:30,680 even more even better, like we it's really we just want y'all rep us. 82 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,600 We have really good sweatshirts too. Oh. The sweatshirts are fall winner. 83 00:05:34,639 --> 00:05:36,639 I don't know why, no one really bought those. Hey, look 84 00:05:36,639 --> 00:05:40,959 I'm wearing the soft on one of the soft coore hats right now. Yeah. 85 00:05:41,519 --> 00:05:43,800 Yeah, A big fan of this one. This is actually I like 86 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:48,040 the Miami Heat one black and people back and pink. The Softcore History sweatshirt. 87 00:05:48,079 --> 00:05:51,439 Though, we have one in like every color with just a white logo 88 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,519 on it. Pink. Yeahah, like any reason you want to get that. 89 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,079 I would say for those, though go a size up. I would 90 00:05:59,439 --> 00:06:01,800 size I feel like everybody that gets a giant sweatshirt. Yeah, it's definitely 91 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,720 well. I bought a large and it was like a little snung at me. 92 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:09,000 Yeah. I gave it to my wife. Yeah, so go size 93 00:06:09,079 --> 00:06:12,720 up. Sweatshirts in general, always size up. You always size up. 94 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,680 Don't we have a pink one? I just said it. Yeah, yeah, 95 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:16,399 I love the pink one. I like it, just like I like 96 00:06:16,439 --> 00:06:19,920 my pink liquid Death sweatshirt. I might actually try to look for like a 97 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:26,360 champion sweatshirt or champion level'd sick. I mean we try to thought for ties. 98 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,959 Yeah. Giving out these sweatshirts, we did one thought well two thoughts. 99 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:35,439 No, we had like three or four Rachel Ashley and then one that 100 00:06:35,639 --> 00:06:40,279 never wore it. Or got back. Yeah, I have another one. 101 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:43,920 We can send it to to thought for tizes advertise. I mean you Patreon 102 00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:46,959 members, if you had, we'll have to approve it. But if you 103 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,879 got a thought in mind, you know that's depressing though, because what if 104 00:06:48,879 --> 00:06:54,120 we don't if you and then they're like, that's my wife. Well, 105 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:58,920 and then that's a daily decision I had to make for just about to say, 106 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,680 didn you usually have the chai? And it was like way more depressing. 107 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:04,879 No, I had to model like every now and then someone However it 108 00:07:04,959 --> 00:07:08,920 ended up to me in the eco departments. Thousands of women would have to 109 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,680 DM me every day trying to get Babe of the Day or on the TFM 110 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,560 girls account, Hey check it out, and I had to routinely deny them. 111 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,560 I understand that and check this out. I know you're paying to an 112 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:21,759 extent because before you worked there, when it was a skeleton crew like four 113 00:07:21,839 --> 00:07:26,680 or five people, there would be days or mornings where you would have to 114 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:30,360 make like me or Dylan or Ross or whomever would have to manage photos and 115 00:07:30,439 --> 00:07:35,040 like TFM girls on the site, and I too would have to. Yeah, 116 00:07:35,319 --> 00:07:38,000 it was the first thing I would do in the morning. And it's 117 00:07:38,079 --> 00:07:41,720 just like, yeah, this kind of you get jaded. Oh. I 118 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:45,319 was like, you're looking at it. I would look at like eights and 119 00:07:45,439 --> 00:07:48,839 be like, no, you're like not even perfect exactly literally, like you're 120 00:07:48,879 --> 00:07:51,519 not even perfect. And most of the girls didn't even go to college that 121 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:56,720 you would post. They would say fau Arizona State. It's like you and 122 00:07:56,879 --> 00:08:01,759 LV, but they're seventeen and live in Las Vegas. Yikes, fucking it 123 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:07,360 was never we would we would age check verified. We did not post seventeen 124 00:08:07,439 --> 00:08:09,920 year olds. Yeah, no, I just remember, I forget it might 125 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:13,600 have been you. Dan. That was just like the amount of submissions that 126 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,120 came through with like just tits out because it's like, oh, this will 127 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:20,879 help. I was super professional. I was, uh that's good. Yeah, 128 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:26,360 I was never sleazy about because there were chicks who were trying to test 129 00:08:26,399 --> 00:08:30,319 your professional autism and be like, hey, I'll what do you need? 130 00:08:30,639 --> 00:08:33,000 And again I never use that to my advantage. Just the one time, 131 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:37,639 total professional, just the one time. But that was he posted her before 132 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,360 that. You didn't know her before that. I didn't know her before that. 133 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:45,639 Yeah. Anyway, Dan uh made Ariana Grande famous, is what he's 134 00:08:45,639 --> 00:08:48,480 trying to. I mean, anyone could have done it. Yeah, anyone 135 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:52,320 could. Anyone can. Uh. But yeah, I'm in the maximum article, 136 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:56,399 so we know you're in several articles, in a lot of articles. 137 00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,440 You also never makes me look good either. You're also American journalists number one 138 00:09:00,519 --> 00:09:03,639 in North Korea. It's true. Yes, I wear so many hats. 139 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:11,320 I'm trying to see. I just googled you. None of these articles or 140 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:15,159 what immediately comes out you work on that SEO brother, I know, well, 141 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,240 it's usually I think the first thing that comes up is laid off TFM. 142 00:09:18,279 --> 00:09:22,080 Writer goes to Vegas with his severance. Oh here's a funny, one 143 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,600 total story move. I'm tired of being denied Babe of the day just because 144 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:31,639 I'm ugly. Ah, that was a Ari Ari not but not that Ari 145 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:37,799 not Ariana Grande. No, yeah, a girl that actually would totally be 146 00:09:37,799 --> 00:09:41,399 baby of the day. Well, she also offered, this was like our 147 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:46,279 younger twenty days. She was a couple of years younger than me, but 148 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,519 like when I was like twenty five, she offered, She's like, fly 149 00:09:48,639 --> 00:09:52,519 me and my friend out while with three something. I'm like, I wish 150 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,480 I had more money, I know, but also like it's really tough to 151 00:09:54,519 --> 00:10:00,639 fly a sixteen year old out cause you gotta get parental permissions stuff like that. 152 00:10:00,879 --> 00:10:07,840 She was twenty one amid the metric system. I don't think that works 153 00:10:07,879 --> 00:10:11,960 the way you think. It wasn't a mac gad situation I was. I 154 00:10:11,039 --> 00:10:13,559 was like twenty five. She was twenty one or twenty two. Yeah, 155 00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:18,559 she was in college at one of those schools where it's like, it is 156 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:22,480 it a school? What was Chico? Yeah? Yeah, damn, we're 157 00:10:22,519 --> 00:10:26,120 geting real personal with this person. She's great. She would just got engaged. 158 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:30,879 Actually she did. Yeah, I congrat's further. She's never gonna hear 159 00:10:30,919 --> 00:10:33,240 this. You're never gonna have this, But so I like her, like 160 00:10:33,279 --> 00:10:35,360 she's cool. It was totally cool, just good. I would tell her 161 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,639 that to her family. I would joke about that to her face. I'm 162 00:10:37,639 --> 00:10:39,279 pretty sure she wrote this too, like everyone has to have their slut days. 163 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:43,919 You know, I don't trust anyone who doesn't have slut face. If 164 00:10:43,919 --> 00:10:48,039 you haven't once just been like, I'm just gonna go on a tear. 165 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:54,200 Who are you, dude? I was talking to actually Ashley today, the 166 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,080 girl who did one of the girls who did model are clothes for us, 167 00:10:56,120 --> 00:11:01,759 and she was talking about how she just knows so many divorced people because they 168 00:11:01,759 --> 00:11:07,159 got they like married their college boyfriend or high school boyfriend. Because she's from 169 00:11:07,159 --> 00:11:13,039 a small town. O. Happiest person I know though married uh his high 170 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,159 school sweetheart. I think that multiple kids, they never they each were their 171 00:11:16,159 --> 00:11:22,320 first and last. That's a murder suicide waiting to happen. It all boils. 172 00:11:22,399 --> 00:11:24,159 I always said that in God Like you got it, You're gonna have 173 00:11:24,159 --> 00:11:26,360 to figure out some hobbies or something. It's called train sets down. This 174 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:31,960 dude just drives like four hundred yards off the tee pipes. It. No, 175 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:35,960 he works for like Tropicana. Oh, he's in Tampa. He's in 176 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:39,559 the countant. Tampa's like I think it's like Tampa and Miami are like two 177 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:43,120 of the highest cities for infidelity issues too, which is what Maybe they're just 178 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:48,240 in the lifestyle they aren't. I've always proposed it to them. What if 179 00:11:48,279 --> 00:11:52,200 they're just denying it because they don't they don't want to give you the satisfaction. 180 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,600 We'll get into it. They'll get into it one day in Florida. 181 00:11:54,639 --> 00:11:58,720 Absolutely, what was my TAKEFM is like ninety five percent couples eventually swinger cheat. 182 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,159 Yeah, you overshot that by quite a bit. I don't think so. 183 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:05,759 I think I'm on the right side of history. Married couples swing or 184 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,120 cheat or cheat. That's so fucking high. There's no way that's true. 185 00:12:09,159 --> 00:12:13,799 I think it's true. Ninety five that's basically one hundred. That's and the 186 00:12:13,879 --> 00:12:18,960 order I basically. The older I get, I believe it more and more. 187 00:12:18,519 --> 00:12:22,679 You know, there's this thing such as when you walk into like a 188 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:28,000 swinger club. Yeah, they it changes. It might be confirmation bias, 189 00:12:26,759 --> 00:12:31,600 it chang's your experience. Yeah, I think you're everyone you've ever seen get 190 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:37,080 married. I think I think you're saying I think your sample pool was tainted. 191 00:12:37,159 --> 00:12:39,639 I was also being in Austin taints to the sample as well, because 192 00:12:39,639 --> 00:12:43,000 it's a lot more prevalent here. There is a lifestyle thing here. I'm 193 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,519 sure it's I was the only no vote in the club. I was like, 194 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,240 don't let that trash in. Have you ever been on that app field? 195 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,399 No, okay, I don't even know what that is. I don't 196 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:56,679 know if you and your wife get down what is field? It's kind of 197 00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:00,799 like a it's a swinger app it's not a swinger app Well, there are 198 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:05,720 swingers on the Apple playing the field. Yeah, okay, but it's it's 199 00:13:05,759 --> 00:13:09,840 a kink app. Oh, so you go on and it's tender. But 200 00:13:11,519 --> 00:13:16,279 and then people's like descriptions everything are all their kinks. Okay, Georgia is 201 00:13:16,279 --> 00:13:20,759 on it all the time. I have no doubt I would get on there 202 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:24,399 and be like sex. That is where he's finding. That's where he's finding 203 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,679 all these cocks, because, uh, there's a lot of people that want 204 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:33,519 Georgia to bang their wife. Amongst the dB fan base, there's actually a 205 00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:39,039 couple that comes in. Do they leave with them? Know them them? 206 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,759 Yeah, dude, the one that's like, oh yeah, Georgia is my 207 00:13:41,799 --> 00:13:46,840 favorite, the one that brought the stuff, the desserts. Hopefully they are 208 00:13:46,879 --> 00:13:54,039 not on the Patreon, but yeah, I'm under the belief that they would 209 00:13:54,080 --> 00:14:00,759 be down. Probably. Well, he's got to keep a couple. He's 210 00:14:00,759 --> 00:14:01,559 got a cute wife, and yeah, he's a good looking guy too. 211 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:09,840 So it is what it And actually that brings us to today's topic, families. 212 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:18,759 Yeah, good old American family values. So I've always thought that both 213 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:22,879 of you would make great fathers. I would really no Okay, I would 214 00:14:22,919 --> 00:14:28,000 make a great father, not remotely, not remotely if I thought that about 215 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,759 either of me. Oh Jake, yeah me, I believe. What's more, 216 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,720 honestly, I'm trying to push up both ways where it's like, really 217 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,840 you thought i'd be a good father that I'm just so mean, where you're 218 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,559 like, what do you mean you don't think I'd be a good father. 219 00:14:37,799 --> 00:14:43,120 No, I'm curious, out of the two of us, who's the better 220 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:50,159 dad. That's what we're gonna find out today. Let's go. I'm so 221 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:54,120 pumped for this though. I I love that I just put in this like 222 00:14:54,919 --> 00:15:01,360 edible in my for the father quiz. So I'm already a point back or 223 00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:05,600 maybe I'm a point a hut. No, my my father raised me high 224 00:15:05,679 --> 00:15:09,480 the entire time. I think parents are high or drunk or drunk, Yes, 225 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:13,919 I can confirm the latter, certainly, pound like two bottles of wine 226 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:18,919 a night function an alcoholic. Your mom makes me feel better about myself because 227 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,480 I'm just like a lot my mom so much. She was a gangster, 228 00:15:22,559 --> 00:15:26,519 though though she never got hung over, got up for work every day. 229 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:30,879 Yeah, man, remember the shed. She went from like a copy editor 230 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:37,639 to manager of the Americas for a global forecasting company, a global we forecasting 231 00:15:37,679 --> 00:15:41,240 forecasting for like business insights them. Oh okay, well I didn't know what 232 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,960 she was forecasting? Is what I meant business the economy? Okay, I 233 00:15:45,039 --> 00:15:48,799 know if it's like the white fruitful Okay. So she didn't really pop off 234 00:15:48,879 --> 00:15:52,799 till I left the house, So that was right. It was empty nest 235 00:15:52,879 --> 00:15:54,320 helps, I can tell you right now, I don't have a lot of 236 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:58,200 free time for work. Was I writing this as Rory kept running up to 237 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,639 me and smacking me in the face as a joke. But like, Mom, 238 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,639 yes, you can't make money while I'm actually under your roof. That's 239 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,519 kind of fucked up. No, it's not. It's makes up all the 240 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,879 sense in the world to me. And then my dad had the same job 241 00:16:08,919 --> 00:16:12,320 since he was eighteen, lives in the same house that he grew up in. 242 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:17,240 Bought the house from his father. Uh, you know, my mom 243 00:16:17,279 --> 00:16:22,440 was pretty similar. She lives within walking distance of her childhood home. That's 244 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:29,559 wild, bro, that's wild to me. And I went to the same 245 00:16:29,679 --> 00:16:32,679 I went to the same grade school that my mom went to. In fact, 246 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:36,320 my the nun who was my principal, was her first grade teacher. 247 00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:38,759 Sometimes you got to go back to move forward. And actually, my dad's 248 00:16:38,799 --> 00:16:42,799 golf coaching high school. Awesome, my golf coach. That's pretty cool. 249 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,600 Same high school. I mean I grew where I went to school in my 250 00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:51,279 like he hated this the hometown. He hated me initially because he hated my 251 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:55,000 dad and we had the same name. Okay, that's funny. But like 252 00:16:55,120 --> 00:17:00,440 I got called my dad's name by teachers that were really old because they at 253 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,000 my dad's high school. That's funny. Yeah, so your dad grew up 254 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:07,720 in O'calla. My family's been there a long time. Okay, Yeah, 255 00:17:07,799 --> 00:17:14,279 there's a block named after it, after my family. There's Goldman's Block downtown. 256 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,359 Oh, I thought it was jew Avenue. We're gone a rock down 257 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,880 to jew just the one. I just assume you're the one Jewish fan. 258 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,759 But no, no, but a cal is the one spot in Florida where 259 00:17:25,759 --> 00:17:30,400 I'd be like, probably hide that, nah dude. Horsetown Mainland. Yeah, 260 00:17:30,519 --> 00:17:33,559 but horse stage money there. Horsetown. We got a fancy area. 261 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,599 It's significantly fancier than every other place around in central Florida. Yeah, I 262 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:42,359 fucking imagine, Yeah it is. It is the seat of Marion County. 263 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,799 But anyway, we're gonna test your ability as parents today to see who the 264 00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:52,680 better father is, specifically who would be the better parent in the nineteenth century 265 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,000 more or less, but really through history. A lot of this comes in 266 00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,519 the nineteenth century. So it's gonna crush this. So I'm gonna quiz you 267 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:07,519 on parental advice from history, mostly the nineteenth cent show that I'm a better 268 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:12,559 father than Rob who has to two kids. Can't even say children. You 269 00:18:12,599 --> 00:18:15,720 can't say children hard to come out of my mouth. Yeah, yeah, 270 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:26,680 I respect that over So, I just found a bunch of stuff from history 271 00:18:26,759 --> 00:18:30,319 in terms of like parental advice, stuff like that, and I need you 272 00:18:30,799 --> 00:18:37,119 to mind the depths of your paternal instincts and see whoever gets you know, 273 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:38,480 and whoever gets the most. It's like multiple choice, what is it? 274 00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:41,240 Yeah? Multiple choice? Okay, Okay, there's no way you would get 275 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:45,680 this without one. I mean, it's this is like it's probably can fire 276 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,079 from the hip and get a couple. Yeah, I got my gun for 277 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:51,960 the nineteenth century. Dan crush, I'm sure, I'm sure. And I 278 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:56,519 feel like Dan is at I feel like you're at a disadvantage because Dan is 279 00:18:56,559 --> 00:19:02,599 a psycho. Yeah, I'm going to answer, and you know what, 280 00:19:03,279 --> 00:19:07,319 I'm going to answer how I would answer for like what I believe and not 281 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,000 how I think i'd win this. Okay, just for you. Yeah, 282 00:19:10,039 --> 00:19:14,839 No, I'm not gonna like cater to Rob. Sure, I'm just myself. 283 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,519 Okay, So let's get to the first question. The minds they should 284 00:19:18,519 --> 00:19:22,920 work there they heard? What way that might come up? Okay? Question 285 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:30,079 number one in the eighteen eighty four book A Few Suggestions to Mothers on the 286 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:36,799 management of their children, The author suggests, what which of these instruments should 287 00:19:37,079 --> 00:19:41,200 you use to punish children? Okay? So are we going jake me or 288 00:19:41,279 --> 00:19:45,519 like? Is our order? Just kind of scream it out? We'll go 289 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:52,480 back and forth. So I flipped a coin before the episode did, so 290 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:55,400 that didn't happen. Dan, I'll let I'll go. Dan, I'll let 291 00:19:55,400 --> 00:20:00,680 you go first because you have the Hubris cool Which of these should be used 292 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:07,119 upon his children? A A thin strip of old leather. B A flexible 293 00:20:07,279 --> 00:20:14,680 branch or twig, see a carpet slip. I'm gonna go full Adrian Peterson, 294 00:20:15,279 --> 00:20:18,000 give me that switch. I'm actually gonna go with the thin strip of 295 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:22,880 leather. No, I think it's a tree branch. I think there's something 296 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,240 a little bit more distinguished, Like I don't want my child to feel like 297 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,440 I'm beating him with trash, So the thin strip of leather shows that it 298 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:36,039 is an instrument of discipline. Jake is on the board. The branch was 299 00:20:36,079 --> 00:20:41,240 not suggested. Carpet slip was also a suggestion. We ignored it. So 300 00:20:41,599 --> 00:20:44,240 there were two right answers, and Dan didn't get any of them right. 301 00:20:44,799 --> 00:20:49,599 I would think tree branches were a little bit more available to everybody. I 302 00:20:49,599 --> 00:20:52,240 think there was quite a bit of leather. Not everyone could afford the leather. 303 00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:56,000 The carpet slip, I think, yeah, it was not necessarily. 304 00:20:56,119 --> 00:21:00,359 We're also going on this book is probably for a higher client fell and it's 305 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:06,720 ignoring blue collar America. Yes my picture. I'm sorry, but sure it's 306 00:21:06,759 --> 00:21:10,079 the nineteenth century. The fuck do you think you're doing reading? It's like 307 00:21:10,079 --> 00:21:12,920 I actually use the bones of my children that didn't make it from the switch, 308 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,920 the children that are alive. Yeah, I think it's like I have 309 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,839 to go into it. Well, if I'm beating the kid, what am 310 00:21:18,839 --> 00:21:22,559 I beating them with? I'm proving that I'm a better give me that Louise 311 00:21:22,599 --> 00:21:26,400 Strap and more read Like, I'm not regional, I'm just a better Allay, 312 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:32,839 what's the score? Not the Jake for your elitist book? Oh no, 313 00:21:33,319 --> 00:21:36,119 Dan thinks all books are elitist, so it's not kind of a movie. 314 00:21:37,039 --> 00:21:38,440 Let time you read a book, Jake, you know, damn well, 315 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:42,480 it was like three weeks ago, one a year. I am on 316 00:21:42,599 --> 00:21:48,720 three, I am on Carthur just wants to be destroyed blood Meridian, you 317 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:52,359 know what. It just depends. Like my wife reads a lot of books, 318 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:56,200 but and I like, don't I'll give her ship here because you didn't 319 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,680 listen to it. And She's like, I read all the time, and 320 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:02,000 I'm like, yeah, but it's like arbage airport novels. So I don't 321 00:22:02,079 --> 00:22:03,799 really know. It's like book of the month fiction. You can just do 322 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:07,319 so many better things with my time. I don't even have a lot of 323 00:22:07,319 --> 00:22:11,119 free time. Sure, dude, I don't care. I'm also a sucker 324 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,599 for required reading, like I do try to read great American novels right right 325 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,640 right. And also if I am writing, I don't want to infiltrate my 326 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:23,279 brain with other people's work. I'm I do agree with that that you you 327 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,440 need to stay away from. Well, that's why I don't listen to podcasts. 328 00:22:26,559 --> 00:22:32,640 I don't listen to podcasts. That's why I I really I never when 329 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:37,039 I worked at TFM, in particular, I never read other people's stuff there 330 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:41,880 unless I was forced to edit it. Yeah, because I because you don't 331 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:45,200 want to, because you probably would have blown your brains out, because you're 332 00:22:45,279 --> 00:22:49,119 like, damn, Dan's such a better writer than me. Alright, shit, 333 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:55,759 parent, Let's see the next one. Uh question number two, according 334 00:22:55,799 --> 00:23:07,480 to Castle's Household Guide, with what could possibly uh encourage dishonesty in young children 335 00:23:07,599 --> 00:23:12,119 encourage them to be a liar? A playing with children of other races? 336 00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:19,920 Yes, it's my turn. It's it's eighty hunts. Yes, B not 337 00:23:21,079 --> 00:23:30,240 being baptized. C being overly artistic. Oh it's see, it's c man, 338 00:23:30,319 --> 00:23:34,519 it's misrepresenting reality art, it's a all of all those things. It's 339 00:23:34,559 --> 00:23:41,880 see it's a Jake is up, dude, and nothing like of all the 340 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:47,200 things like, I just don't like the racist thing. No, Like, 341 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:52,319 they're gonna understand how our household works regardless of who they play with. And 342 00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:56,359 then two, like what was the other one? Not being baptized. That's 343 00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:03,160 never been a problem. It's always a problem not for lying art boy. 344 00:24:03,519 --> 00:24:10,160 The book said, any glaring disproportion in figures that they draw or whatever should 345 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:14,880 be explained to a child, and he should be encouraged to make his little 346 00:24:15,839 --> 00:24:19,720 imitations as much like nature as possible. So you don't Picasso that face. 347 00:24:21,039 --> 00:24:23,400 It's definitely like a take on the nineteenth century art style too, where it's 348 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:27,079 like very widely just realism, Like I would think, yeah, so this 349 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,160 book, man, I forget when Castle's let me look. Actually, hey, 350 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:34,599 film boys, that sound red art man, let me get in ze. 351 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,160 So this is eighteen sixty nine, so I think this is kind of 352 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:42,799 right at the beginning of Impressionism. Maybe, yeah, it's not quite which 353 00:24:42,839 --> 00:24:48,039 Impressionism in eighteen sixty nine was like jazz in nineteen twenty. Yeah, yeah, 354 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,400 so but like that art like van Gohen and stuff like that that it's 355 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:56,000 like eighteen seventies. Yeah, Monet, that's up. So they hate the 356 00:24:56,119 --> 00:25:02,799 jazz music though. Jake the races, Dick, I mean, you're not 357 00:25:03,839 --> 00:25:08,759 you're not pretty pretty on point, amongst other things. Yes, but Jake 358 00:25:08,799 --> 00:25:12,880 got weird that that's kind of like still a little prevalent under the scenes right 359 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:18,279 now. I think it's very un in the middle of the scenes. Just 360 00:25:18,599 --> 00:25:22,200 it's such an old trope. But there's still so many people that are like, 361 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:26,079 Oh, I don't want to wrap them getting near my daughter. No 362 00:25:26,559 --> 00:25:30,200 what Jake's alluding to, Yeah, what, I don't want those people getting 363 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:34,559 your mob. You're white girl. You know that is true. But at 364 00:25:34,599 --> 00:25:38,079 the same time, I actually was, uh in my neighborhood the other day 365 00:25:38,759 --> 00:25:45,519 and my neighborhood you're It's really funny, like I think there should only be 366 00:25:45,559 --> 00:25:48,960 interracial couples. I think it should be illegal to marry your race. I 367 00:25:49,559 --> 00:25:56,200 throw throw me in solitary confinement. I mean you kind of already have by 368 00:25:56,200 --> 00:26:00,519 marrying who you married. Essentially, it's like a girl old mirror. Yeah, 369 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,799 you look into every day. If you want to know how much of 370 00:26:04,799 --> 00:26:14,559 a narcissist I am. He married girl, Rob fuck yourself. I need 371 00:26:14,559 --> 00:26:17,240 some flair, though, I need some Latin flair. I need some Asian 372 00:26:17,279 --> 00:26:22,119 flair. ABG love me and ABG, which is funny because the most serious 373 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,839 closest girl you ever had with the whitest one you dated, I know. 374 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:30,799 And also that's why it didn't work though it could have been perfect. But 375 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:36,920 yeah, if she was, you know, a little Latina, you're racist. 376 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,799 I am. I guess whites. I don't care if you hate Portugues. 377 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:45,759 Dan hates white women. Yeah. I always have to explain it the 378 00:26:45,799 --> 00:26:48,039 case, like he doesn't not like you, he just hates you because you're 379 00:26:48,039 --> 00:26:52,119 white. Right, it's the blonde hair. Yeah, it's not good. 380 00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,960 Yeah, and it's and it's not even like it's not even like curly blonde 381 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,759 hair. Right, she has straight blonde hair. No, my hoping, 382 00:26:57,839 --> 00:27:03,000 I'm dunking on Hitler. I'm just dunking on them. Right. What was 383 00:27:03,039 --> 00:27:07,079 her maiden name? That's not German? That was it? Please bleep that? 384 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:11,559 Oh yeah, sorry, we'll bleep that. But her maiden name is 385 00:27:11,599 --> 00:27:14,960 not it's not going to bleep that. I see it in his face right 386 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,920 now. That okay, it doesn't even but like her, it's not German 387 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,839 unless she anglicized. Exactually, my name, I will write it down on 388 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:27,720 my notes. That was in the twenty fourth minute. Thanks guys. No, 389 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:33,400 but it's English. Okay, Well my name though, Fox is English, 390 00:27:33,799 --> 00:27:37,359 but it was we anglicized it before World War or during World War One? 391 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,039 Oh no, it was the German five. I'm very sure hers is 392 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:45,039 very occupational. Oh what is that? I can't say it. I guess 393 00:27:45,079 --> 00:27:49,599 it is exactly what you think it is. Oh, that's funny. She's 394 00:27:49,839 --> 00:27:57,599 from poor stock. Damn, let me keep beating Dana this name the bleep 395 00:27:57,799 --> 00:28:02,960 doubt. Yeah, she's from all Right, I'm gonna where you been. 396 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:07,160 I'm gonna say this essentially, and this won't give it away. I mean, 397 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,920 maybe someone can google it, but I think it's worth saying your wife 398 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:18,559 is descended from truckers. Okay, kinda, I'll stand in the paint for 399 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:23,400 my wife right now. Is she pissing in jars and jugs and leaving on 400 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:27,039 that truck stops. No, that's definitely more of a me move. Actually 401 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:33,440 shouts the piss jug I did one time on a gravitate. I had a 402 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,119 piece so bad on the way back from a woodser. Do you see that 403 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:40,880 mascot, the piss jug mascot. No, what there's a is a manor 404 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:44,960 League baseball team. No, it's to advocate for piss, for truckers to 405 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,960 stop leaving like gallon jugs, a piss that truck stops. Hey, maybe 406 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,119 that's on the trucking company, not the truckers. What's his name? Is 407 00:28:52,119 --> 00:28:57,440 a piss juke piss jug man couldn't get better? Yeah? What was pissy 408 00:28:57,519 --> 00:29:00,640 mcpisser face taking right, like, yes, this is it? Right? 409 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:06,319 Yeah, there he is, angry pissed bottle man. I one t I'm 410 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,480 on the way, like, not even on the way back yet from the 411 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,720 Woodsard. We were getting on the bus of the Woodsard. I didn't want 412 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,279 to run outside and Pete I was like, so I pissed him at Bubba 413 00:29:15,359 --> 00:29:18,680 Keg and then I just threw it out the window. Oh and then can 414 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,680 I tell you how many times I'm not telling with the story, someone came 415 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,920 like, hey, someone left this bubba keg and no one claimed it because 416 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:27,440 I knew it was full of piss. Yeah, and some dude in others 417 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:32,880 like, yeah, it's mine. Oh no wait, actually that's awesome. 418 00:29:33,079 --> 00:29:34,720 I was just like, did you get to see it? Did you drink 419 00:29:34,759 --> 00:29:40,440 it? I couldn't see what happened, But he got a fucking bubbicg full 420 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,960 of piss and he drank it. He had five woods or yeah, that's 421 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,480 awesome. You know it would be like that at a pie five woods or 422 00:29:45,519 --> 00:29:52,079 sometimes really do uh question our way back from Alabama, Georgia. I think 423 00:29:52,319 --> 00:29:56,079 pissed no less than twelve times in the back into a uh Gettoray bottle and 424 00:29:56,119 --> 00:30:03,279 then absolutely yes, I was getting into the third question here. According to 425 00:30:03,319 --> 00:30:11,079 the eighteen thirty eight book Fireside Education, the following could lead to an early 426 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:22,400 death in a child. A too many friends, B learning too much ce 427 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:30,640 milk from Jewish farms. Okay, it stands first, So I think the 428 00:30:30,759 --> 00:30:38,920 first two. You can make an argument for both. You have too many 429 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:47,839 friends, more opportunity to get into some some should should cannery. Yeah. 430 00:30:48,559 --> 00:30:49,839 I like how you're thinking it through now because you're mad, you're down to 431 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:56,079 nothing. Yeah, I am in the second. I was trying to play 432 00:30:56,119 --> 00:31:03,200 the game. Second option and too much knowledge. Can I tell you what 433 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:08,759 I pick? Which causes depression, which causes more suicide? I'm going with 434 00:31:08,759 --> 00:31:14,799 B. I'm going with A. Too many friends because children are up to 435 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,680 no good and you can only trust your own child. And if you let 436 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,519 them run around with other kids, other kids, you don't know the household 437 00:31:22,559 --> 00:31:26,319 they're running. I think you need to know your place in society. You 438 00:31:26,359 --> 00:31:33,559 get too big of a head, you forget that and it causes you to 439 00:31:33,599 --> 00:31:37,400 potentially put yourself in situations that are dangerous. Okay, what's the answer? 440 00:31:37,519 --> 00:31:45,240 Final answers b I'm ay, Jake is not gonna have to worry about dying 441 00:31:45,279 --> 00:31:49,720 because he's not so smart. Dan got it right. Oh, Okay, 442 00:31:49,759 --> 00:31:55,240 being too smart could lead to an early death for a child. I'm gonna 443 00:31:55,319 --> 00:32:00,720 quote the book here. While the book claimed to talk about a real case 444 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:05,160 of a boy who learned too much too young and died because of it. 445 00:32:05,759 --> 00:32:08,920 While the boys hence, well, we talked about a big head. While 446 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:15,799 the boy's head grew rapidly and at last became enormous, his limbs became shrunken 447 00:32:15,799 --> 00:32:17,960 and almost useless. His mind was too advanced, and at the age of 448 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:22,759 eight years he was indeed a pig, a prodigy. At ten he died. 449 00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:27,119 Okay, hold on, I'm not done. Premature fruit, the book 450 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:31,119 said, never ripens. Well, oh my god, dude, that's so. 451 00:32:31,599 --> 00:32:37,160 It's literally like a brother's grim fairy tale example. The boy put too 452 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:42,279 much knowledge in himself, they fell over and died. That's from someone that 453 00:32:42,359 --> 00:32:45,359 literally thinks the more you learn, the bigger your head actually gets. Yeah, 454 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,920 Like the brain is a muscle what do you think the giant peach was 455 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:52,559 with James? It was this big old ass. It was his knowledge. 456 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,519 No, big old ass, this is his big old juicy boy ass. 457 00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:01,759 James and his giant peach. Mm roll doll known pedophile. Yeah, I 458 00:33:01,799 --> 00:33:06,880 mean just kidding. I don't know if he really did like little Orange I 459 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:10,920 mean orange round. I'm back on the board. One, come for that 460 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,119 ass. Yeah the speech, yo, ass in trouble now we have to 461 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:21,680 let's get in the next one. Air. Uh. Stickney and Pores pure 462 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:28,160 paragoric syrup was a popular medicine for coughs, colds, and to calm fussy 463 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:34,599 babies. What were its two most important ingredients? A laudanum and cocaine, 464 00:33:35,599 --> 00:33:42,200 B mercury and hemp oil C alcohol and opium. Okay, it's my answer. 465 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,799 First, What is the name of this oil? Not the brand name, 466 00:33:44,839 --> 00:33:49,759 but the oil of the syrup? You mean, yeah, what's the 467 00:33:49,799 --> 00:33:54,279 name of the syrup Stickney and pores pure paragoric syrup? Paragoric? And what 468 00:33:54,319 --> 00:34:01,119 were the answers? A laudanum and cocaine, B mercury and hemp oil see 469 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:07,839 alcohol and opium peragoric. I'm trying to think of what that means. I'm 470 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,679 gonna go with what the cost syrup was for everybody, which is like, 471 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:14,840 uh, when was the last moment? More time? Alcohol and opium. 472 00:34:15,679 --> 00:34:23,559 See, I would agree with Cee because I'm just thinking codine coding's and opiate. 473 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:29,880 Yeah opiate. Yeah, you are both correct. See is the answer? 474 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:35,280 Alcohol and opium is what they gave two babies when they were fussing. 475 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:38,760 Well, my math is better, so I get more points if I I 476 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:43,599 showed my work, much like in our main episode where I think you should 477 00:34:43,639 --> 00:34:46,119 get three days in the woods to grieve. Yeah. Now, I also 478 00:34:46,119 --> 00:34:49,119 think like if I got fussy at work, if someone gave me a little 479 00:34:49,159 --> 00:34:52,320 alcohol and opium, that would be great, be knocking out. I sometimes 480 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,079 do drink a beer here when I get annoyed. Do you shoot up to? 481 00:34:55,920 --> 00:35:00,320 Oh no, it was just quite often he gets annoyed, very often. 482 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:04,360 Shooter shoot, shooter shot gets very drunk. Yeah, can we get 483 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:07,119 Can we get a T shirt with someone spiking up and it's just a shooter 484 00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:14,000 shoes shoot your shot? What if it's a long sleeve tea and it says 485 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,599 on the sleeve shooters shoot and it's just a yeah, fucking syringe going right 486 00:35:17,639 --> 00:35:21,239 in there. I'm not a fan. Yeah, we can't see that. 487 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:23,800 They joke about opioids all the time, and I'm just like, yeah, 488 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:27,960 I've had a couple of friends just like, yeah, we all it's almost 489 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,599 cancer at this point where it's like, here's fine a joke about cancer because 490 00:35:30,599 --> 00:35:34,280 we all know I've had too many. Yeah, I don't care for it 491 00:35:34,519 --> 00:35:37,079 fair enough. The Philly Florida pipeline, they just figure out how that's how 492 00:35:37,079 --> 00:35:45,920 the kid from fucking what's it called, uh euphoria? Yeah, oh, 493 00:35:45,079 --> 00:35:47,880 believe it or not, there's fentanyl and his coke. Crazy? Yeah, 494 00:35:49,119 --> 00:35:53,000 who could have guessed? Uh? Next up question? In a similar vein, 495 00:35:54,519 --> 00:35:58,760 tapeworm was a problem for children at the time, still to this day. 496 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,840 I guess maybe a little bit. If you'll let them do whatever they 497 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,239 need to do to get tape worm, them get too smart, you know. 498 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:09,440 Yeah, what was in the nineteenth century the best way, or I'm 499 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:16,480 sorry, the best thing to drink to get rid of tapeworm a turpentine b 500 00:36:17,119 --> 00:36:23,840 ethanol C mercury. I believe it's Jake t first to dance you first, 501 00:36:24,159 --> 00:36:30,840 A turpentine b ethanol C mercury. I don't know what turpentine is. Mike 502 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:36,519 molloy does. It's like paint removed, paint thinner, thinner mm hmm. 503 00:36:38,079 --> 00:36:53,400 I'm gonna gomer ethanol. Mercury just seems a little too out there compared to 504 00:36:53,440 --> 00:37:00,280 turpentine. Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll go paint thinner. I'm 505 00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:04,800 gonna go You know what, both seem insane on an c you know, 506 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,519 it's probably one of those two. But I'm gonna go with ethanol just because, 507 00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:10,119 like, I think they knew that turpentine. I feel like any for 508 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:15,199 eight year old, like any amount of turpentine is probably fucking awful. It's 509 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:20,119 like two year old, eight year old whatever. Yeah, like I think 510 00:37:20,159 --> 00:37:22,360 that's enough to kill them in my mind. And then mercury, I feel 511 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:27,360 like they kind of knew already from the hat or shit mad hatter. Yes, 512 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:31,559 I'm gonna go with ethanol. B Dan has tied it up. Turpentine 513 00:37:31,599 --> 00:37:35,760 is what the children would drink to get rid of tapeworm. They yearn for 514 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:44,519 the paint thinner for the time, time for time. Yeah. Uh, 515 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:51,519 that's insane. It's so insane. It strips paint. Yeah, it's varnish, 516 00:37:51,599 --> 00:37:59,280 right, I mean, it's kill tapeworm. It's the most nuclear option 517 00:37:59,519 --> 00:38:05,920 for that. Like it's like it's essentially like chemo is safer for the right. 518 00:38:06,079 --> 00:38:08,639 It essentially made them. I think it was like it gave them like 519 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,599 horrific diarrhea and they thought they like shit the worms out. But I mean 520 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,159 tape worms do come out of your butt. Yeah, I guess that does 521 00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:23,360 make sense. So it's three three three three after uh five? Oh yeah, 522 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:28,639 because you both got we got the same. Yeah. Yeah. Number 523 00:38:28,679 --> 00:38:32,880 six is next. In the nineteenth century, children were told or the parents 524 00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:38,079 were told to have their children avoid what colored toys because it would kill them? 525 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:46,880 A black, B, green, C? Yellow? Oh what colored 526 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:52,079 toys kill them? I feel like the easy answer is black here, But 527 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:58,400 for some reason I want to say see yellow. Yeah, I feel like 528 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:02,400 rob through in black as just kind of like the low hanging fruit, like 529 00:39:02,599 --> 00:39:08,480 just come on, grab it, are grabbing it. Sometimes the lowest hanging 530 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:15,079 fruit is the taste, but not here. I think Green's dumb and won't 531 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:25,519 know he's boxing me out yellow. Perhaps the Asian connection just thinking it through 532 00:39:25,639 --> 00:39:30,800 live on air. Yeah, I mean that's fair. I like the commentary. 533 00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:37,920 I do like Dan showing his work, you get more points. I'm 534 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,280 gonna go yellow. No, he's boxing me out. You both said yellow. 535 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:43,519 Yeah, I'm not gonna go with an answer. I don't believe him. 536 00:39:43,599 --> 00:39:46,800 Yeah, that's fair, you gotta answer. I'm going with. I 537 00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:52,960 think they had a distrust of Asian culture and the Chinese especially, and I 538 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:58,199 think any toy that was yellow was symbolic of the Asians. Yellow yellow. 539 00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:05,079 Yeah, it is be green because the die was filled with arsenic Ah huh, 540 00:40:05,119 --> 00:40:07,079 they're gonna no on it now. Then they figured that out because everyone 541 00:40:07,199 --> 00:40:12,880 wearing green shit kept dying and the people working in the green die factories kept 542 00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:17,559 fucking dying. It's like the uranium girls. Literally. Yeah. Yeah, 543 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:22,079 So no points there. It's still three two three in the race to see 544 00:40:22,119 --> 00:40:25,880 who would be the best father in history. God, if we come out 545 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:30,079 tied, it's just gonna prove your point more. I hate that one of 546 00:40:30,119 --> 00:40:35,280 us has to take a dive soon. There's plenty, there's plenty of questions 547 00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:37,840 left. Okay, cool, Yeah, you got plenty of time. Good 548 00:40:37,559 --> 00:40:42,920 rob a zero. Yeah, I'm counting right now. We're beating whoop in 549 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,599 his ass, dude. I mean, I know the answers to all of 550 00:40:45,599 --> 00:40:49,800 these, but you don't. You should rob them before he looked them up 551 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,760 though, that's the problem. Uh. Number seven. This relatively common medical 552 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:59,679 practice in the nineteenth century and earlier, but in the nineteenth century, was 553 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:07,880 done to quote unquote prevent deaths for babies. A slicing open their gums in 554 00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:14,920 order to let baby teeth grow in unimpeded. B Providing a daily low dosage 555 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:19,599 of mercury in order to increase their tolerance to tainted water and air. C 556 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:23,639 several weeks of blood letting after baptism in order to cycle out their non Christian 557 00:41:23,639 --> 00:41:28,800 blood. All right, so it's my turn. Yeah, sea's outrageous. 558 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:34,840 That's not real. B. We've been kind of fed a bunch of mercury 559 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:37,519 breadcrumbs up into this point, kind of to throw us off the scent. 560 00:41:38,119 --> 00:41:42,599 But I think this is the case where the mercury thing is correct. I'm 561 00:41:42,639 --> 00:41:45,760 gonna go B believe it or not. I'm actually going B too, because 562 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:52,400 I think it's referring to homeopathy, which is stupid, but it's when you 563 00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:55,280 do a super diluted amount of something to cure you, like to a point 564 00:41:55,280 --> 00:42:00,679 where it's not acting. And at this point beloved that in it's probably not 565 00:42:00,199 --> 00:42:05,159 considered like common practice. And the gums thing just sounds like something Rob made 566 00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:07,760 up out of his sick, twisted head. Yeah, yeah, he probably 567 00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,800 did to his own child. Yeah, I'm going with B. We're both 568 00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:15,800 going B. It's a they would cut the baby's gums open in order to 569 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:20,320 let the teeth grow in unimpeded. Damna, we picked up that breadcrumb, 570 00:42:20,519 --> 00:42:23,840 we did? We hook line and seek. It's like, actually, they 571 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:28,400 used mercury all the time for medicine. I just that just hasn't meant an 572 00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:32,440 answer to anything yet. Yet he's setting us up for more failure, he 573 00:42:32,599 --> 00:42:37,360 is. But yes, on you. Now, this started in the fifteen 574 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:42,239 hundreds, I believe from what I read where a physician in the fifteen hundreds 575 00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,880 obviously, the genius that he was, couldn't figure out any other reason that 576 00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:49,360 the baby died other than after he cut open his gums, the teeth kind 577 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,880 of pushed out a little bit, and he was like, oh, well, 578 00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:53,199 if the gums had just been cut open and the teeth came out, 579 00:42:53,199 --> 00:42:55,519 he wouldn't have died. I mean, this is in the golden age, 580 00:42:55,559 --> 00:43:00,400 and by golden age of medicine, I mean, the humorous Golden age of 581 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:06,079 medicine. Yeah, it was just we're throwing oy and somehow that stuck for 582 00:43:06,119 --> 00:43:10,239 another four hundred years, what three hundred years? I'm sorry. Holy people 583 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:16,119 were doing this in the nineteenth century, and it started in the fifteenth fifteen 584 00:43:16,199 --> 00:43:22,519 hundred, so the sixteenth century. Jesus, that's insane. Yeah. People 585 00:43:22,519 --> 00:43:24,039 would just be like, oh, I think there might be a tooth coming 586 00:43:24,039 --> 00:43:28,559 in, and they would cut the gums open to let the teeth come in, 587 00:43:29,639 --> 00:43:30,639 and then you pour bourbon on it. Yeah. Right, And I 588 00:43:30,679 --> 00:43:37,639 can't stress enough slicing your baby's gums open not good for it. I gotta 589 00:43:37,679 --> 00:43:39,280 ask this of you two, because you come from different parts of the country. 590 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:43,960 But like in the South, there was very much, like in a 591 00:43:44,039 --> 00:43:46,840 non joking way of like rub some bourbon on their gums for the teething. 592 00:43:47,679 --> 00:43:51,960 Is that common in the Midwest. I think my grandma recommended my mom do 593 00:43:52,039 --> 00:43:53,280 that, and I'm sure your mom was horrified by it. Yeah, yeah, 594 00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:58,920 no, I think it was like that age gap. But my grandma 595 00:43:59,119 --> 00:44:04,199 also thought that my mom not using formula was stupid. That's a weird one. 596 00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:09,639 That doesn't trans that that is like non time specific. It's more just 597 00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:15,119 that's like cyclical. Yeah, it's where that was like a miracle for probably 598 00:44:15,119 --> 00:44:17,239 people my grandmother's age. You know, why was your grandmother such a shill 599 00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:24,280 for gerber or Naslie she's anslie show. She would tell me, she would 600 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:29,199 tell me you're beautiful, no matter how big you are. Grandma's love big 601 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,320 children. What do they do? But we were Irish, so she wasn't 602 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:36,239 a good cook. So do you want boiled potatoes again? No, she 603 00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:38,599 was a great cook. It was just the cuisine, really, yeah, 604 00:44:38,639 --> 00:44:43,239 the cuisine was a problem, to be honest. You guys are still tied 605 00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:45,639 at three in the father race. Neither of you really give it getting a 606 00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:47,880 leg up on the other in terms of who would be the better father. 607 00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:54,960 Turn though number eight. This practice was encouraged in order to keep children from 608 00:44:55,000 --> 00:45:04,599 becoming spoiled a god A shaking their hand in the morning instead of hugging or 609 00:45:04,679 --> 00:45:10,400 kissing them, b holding them as little as possible, c randomly skipping meals. 610 00:45:12,599 --> 00:45:16,239 That's hilarious, see as funny as shit, Like I just kind of 611 00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:21,639 want to break that down for a second. From intermittent fast as the babies, 612 00:45:22,599 --> 00:45:24,920 like from a situational comedy point of view, like the dad's like, 613 00:45:25,559 --> 00:45:30,480 all right, this dinner, no dice, it's not happening. He knows 614 00:45:30,559 --> 00:45:35,440 he's too loved. No dinner for you, bitch, Like, no, 615 00:45:35,559 --> 00:45:37,800 it's funny as hell. I Well, the first one was the handshake, 616 00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:42,440 right, A shaking their hand in the morning instead of hugging or kissing them, 617 00:45:42,599 --> 00:45:45,840 B holding them as little as possible. See randomly skipping meals. I 618 00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:49,480 think A and B are pretty close, but I think it's A just because 619 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:52,440 it's kind of like that grind mentality of like get to the mines, boy, 620 00:45:52,519 --> 00:45:55,159 shake my hand, like, all right, off to work with you, 621 00:45:55,199 --> 00:46:00,400 Off to work with me. We'll shake hands like men. I'm gonna 622 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:06,320 go with what my family often did. B hold you as little as possible. 623 00:46:07,039 --> 00:46:09,360 I could definitely see that being the answer to well, you are both 624 00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:15,480 correct. Ah, it was A and B. This was advice offered. 625 00:46:15,559 --> 00:46:17,480 I didn't write down the book. I forgot the book. There's advice offered 626 00:46:17,519 --> 00:46:22,599 though, to not spoil your child, don't show them affections, so just 627 00:46:22,639 --> 00:46:24,159 treat them like a business Partner'd be like, good morning to you, sir. 628 00:46:24,519 --> 00:46:27,719 If you they said, if you have to kiss him. You can 629 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,239 kiss them on the forehead to tell them good night, or the pecker just 630 00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:34,719 say good morning. If you showed them too much affection, they would become 631 00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:37,320 spoiled. I think it's something like a spoiled child as a tyrant or a 632 00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:43,960 little tyrant or something like that. I mean truth, truth, it's fair, 633 00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:46,280 that's fair. You know who you know who never eats his food that 634 00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:50,119 we give him, Rory? You know who eats everything we put in front 635 00:46:50,119 --> 00:46:52,480 of him. Finn, Finn because he doesn't feel that love. Yeah, 636 00:46:52,519 --> 00:46:54,440 because Finn feels no love. Right, it's gonna be fat Finn. Now 637 00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:58,719 you're gonna be fat. No, Finn's gonna be fat, chain smoking at 638 00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:01,840 twelve. Oh, that's Finn's gonna be cool. Finn's gonna be dope and 639 00:47:02,199 --> 00:47:07,760 dope white Jake, for sure. Rory's gonna be a little bitch, Rory. 640 00:47:07,519 --> 00:47:13,280 Rory's gonna be the dancer he'll be. He'll be a little Broadway boy, 641 00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:16,480 He'll be my dancer. I don't like that. Finn's gonna actually be 642 00:47:16,519 --> 00:47:23,000 funny. Rory is high key hilarious because his bit is now as he just 643 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,960 says no to everything we say. Like Rory please get down. It'll climb 644 00:47:27,039 --> 00:47:29,960 up to something horribly dangerous and we'll get down. He'll just look back at 645 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:34,880 us and go no, yeah, no. See he's getting easy laughs from 646 00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:38,039 d And you would see you would if you watch Rory operate, you would 647 00:47:38,079 --> 00:47:45,360 love him because he just tells me no constantly. Finn's my boy. I 648 00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:52,920 went to Rory's birthday party. It was hot, all right, it was 649 00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:55,199 hot. They didn't even throw a birthday party for Finn. It hasn't been 650 00:47:55,199 --> 00:47:58,960 a one year yet, exactly. I haven't thrown a birthday party for Finn 651 00:47:59,039 --> 00:48:10,679 fair enough. I mean it's factual, but he's got two on his zero. 652 00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,519 We didn't throw Rory a second birthday party. Uh? Yeah he did? 653 00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:23,239 Is that the brewery? What it's a birthday Rory? You just pound, 654 00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:28,480 yeah, kind of pounding beers. I was hanging out with your aunt. 655 00:48:28,639 --> 00:48:30,360 I know. It was awesome. Love ant Pat, Yeah a Pat's 656 00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:35,280 great. Uh. Next up, we're still tied, still tied four to 657 00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:37,400 four now, so we're moving a little bit ahead in history for the next 658 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:43,599 two, including this one. Obviously. In the nineteen sixties, doctor doctor 659 00:48:43,679 --> 00:48:49,320 Walter Sackett wrote that parents should be as cold to their children as possible in 660 00:48:49,519 --> 00:48:58,719 order to prevent them from becoming what gay communists? Yes, a communists be 661 00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:04,679 homosexuals. See beat Nicks, Well are two answers. We already said it 662 00:49:04,679 --> 00:49:07,559 before. Yeah, we beat it communists. You want gay? Yeah, 663 00:49:07,599 --> 00:49:09,639 we gotta stick to it. I think it's all the above. But I'm 664 00:49:09,639 --> 00:49:14,000 gonna go because what is a beat Nick but a gay or a gay communist? 665 00:49:14,079 --> 00:49:19,000 Yeah, but I'm going gay. You're going with communists? Finally, 666 00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:24,760 yes, Dan is in the lead. Oh if you love your sixties, 667 00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:28,679 come on, if you love your child too much, yeah, they will 668 00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:35,400 become homosexual comment just a communist actually, but seriously communist at that time. 669 00:49:35,599 --> 00:49:37,440 What is a beat Nick but a gay communist? Yeah? Basically yeah, 670 00:49:37,559 --> 00:49:44,000 it's a combo of the two. You should want to see. I'm the 671 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,679 better father right now, you are. You are out of the moment. 672 00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:52,079 You are the better father. Relaship. It's gonna remain, dude. You 673 00:49:52,159 --> 00:49:58,159 gotta get as many as a father's out as you can. Actually I accidentally 674 00:49:58,159 --> 00:50:01,679 put that point in Jake's But again, I'm not a stepfather. I'm a 675 00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:07,360 father that stepped up. You're stepping up right now. Who rescued? Who? 676 00:50:08,519 --> 00:50:12,599 God? That's so much worse than the step up father. No, 677 00:50:12,639 --> 00:50:15,679 they're equal. One's for a baby, one's a skin puppy. Yeah, 678 00:50:15,679 --> 00:50:19,880 ones used for a dog. Yeah. We just wanted to make a skin 679 00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:24,440 puppy T shirt. I love my skin puppies. Yeah. Number ten. 680 00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:31,079 In the nineteen sixty six book Smoking in Pregnancy, The Politics of Fetal Protection, 681 00:50:32,079 --> 00:50:38,800 what was recommended to pregnant women A one cigarette a day, B half 682 00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:45,079 a pack a day. C. One may only subdue their cravings by being 683 00:50:45,119 --> 00:50:50,559 in the room with other smokers. So secondhand smoke. I don't remember who's 684 00:50:50,559 --> 00:50:53,960 first anymore. I thin it's your turn. What you guys get answer at 685 00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:59,119 the same time last time? What year is this sixty six, nineteen or 686 00:50:59,119 --> 00:51:04,000 eighteen nineteen, nineteen sixty six? So this would there were no packs of 687 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,320 cigarettes in eighteen sixty six, as far as I'm aware, just Lucy's yeah 688 00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:14,239 pipes. I think this is after the Reader's Digest article comes out. So 689 00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:17,039 I'm gonna imagine it's being in the room with second hand smokers. See, 690 00:51:17,079 --> 00:51:22,679 and I'm gonna go because of that article, cut back half a pack, 691 00:51:22,679 --> 00:51:27,559 half a pack of day is going to do it. Dan is building a 692 00:51:27,559 --> 00:51:30,800 bit of a lead here. Oh no, he's up seven to five, 693 00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:35,559 six to four. Okay, Dan is up seventy. How many questions do 694 00:51:35,639 --> 00:51:39,159 we have left to four? We have one, two, three, four, 695 00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:45,360 five, six, seven surmountable leads. Seven questions in surmountable lead. 696 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:51,360 If I play my card, okay, I think the person in the league 697 00:51:51,679 --> 00:51:53,760 should go first and go Okay, yeah, they can't box. I'm fine 698 00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:57,079 with that. Fair enough, fair enough, that was about to I was 699 00:51:57,079 --> 00:52:00,039 about to play this strategically. I as soon as I ask how many were 700 00:52:00,119 --> 00:52:04,559 left. As soon as I asked how many questions were left? I saw 701 00:52:04,599 --> 00:52:07,079 you doing stats all right? So he has to answer first every time? 702 00:52:07,159 --> 00:52:13,199 Yes, until until until Jake potentially chases it. Okay, number eleven. 703 00:52:14,559 --> 00:52:16,480 Going back in time a little further now, back to the nineteenth century. 704 00:52:16,679 --> 00:52:23,320 In nineteenth century England, women doing this were told that it might spoil their 705 00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:28,480 breast milk. The following might spoil their breast milk, potentially make it poisonous. 706 00:52:29,079 --> 00:52:39,679 A worrying, b reading, c working. They're all good answers, 707 00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:46,039 they are. They are all kind of perfect in their own way. Let's 708 00:52:46,079 --> 00:52:52,719 see worrying, reading, or working. It's three things I do every day. 709 00:52:53,639 --> 00:52:59,719 Hmm. I don't think they're really really in the workforce too much, 710 00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:02,760 and they would probably still allow them to cook and clean and that would be 711 00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:09,800 their work. So I'm gonna write that off. Worrying, don't worry about 712 00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:14,920 where I was last night? Yeah, that could probably spoil the milk. 713 00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:22,199 I mean calling out their cheating husbands reading no time, I mean kind of 714 00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:28,719 like the earlier answer, knowledge is poison and will kill you. So I'm 715 00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:32,920 really between A and B. I'm gonna go I'm gonna go A, though, 716 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:37,639 I'm gonna go worrying because I think don't worry about where I was last 717 00:53:37,679 --> 00:53:45,559 night. I actually too, am going worrying. That's Dan's answer. His 718 00:53:46,159 --> 00:53:50,719 logic for the B and c answers is my same logic. It's like one, 719 00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:54,280 they're probably not in the workforce that much too, we don't reading season 720 00:53:55,679 --> 00:54:01,079 try to better yourself, but it's not worrying is something that I think you 721 00:54:01,079 --> 00:54:05,360 guys underestimate. I'm gonna take both those answer already. I think you guys 722 00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:09,960 do underestimate how much people including women read like serial novels and stuff. Back 723 00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:17,000 then. I don't underestimate it. I think that it doesn't affect the man. 724 00:54:17,159 --> 00:54:22,440 I'm still thinking from a patriarchical standpoint, but he's saying it's b you're 725 00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:27,440 both correct, Oh, we're both right. Yeah yeah. No. Dan's 726 00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:32,360 answer is his logic through the bass. We're worrying would spoil but possibly poison 727 00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:37,280 their breast milk. They were also told to avoid crowded rooms. I assume 728 00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:44,239 it creates anxiety. Maybe yeah, night, yeah yeah. Next step number 729 00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:53,079 twelve, we actually have maybe some some sound advice here. Experts advised against 730 00:54:53,480 --> 00:55:05,760 giving babies this substance to cure their flatulence. A morphine B laxatives C gin. 731 00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:17,760 Okay, morphine laxatives gin, and this is to control their bowels farting. 732 00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:25,280 They're farting, yes, gas yeah. Uh, laxatives seems too on 733 00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:30,599 the nose. I'll go morphine. Fuck. I'm also going morphine because morphine 734 00:55:30,599 --> 00:55:35,519 is a known constipator, So it would be like people knew it at that 735 00:55:35,639 --> 00:55:37,440 time. So I imaginely be like, oh, we give him a little 736 00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:40,719 morphine and cry as much he's not gonna poop, might put them out. 737 00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:51,480 Yeah, it's it's but like chloroform, the baby all takes his one rang 738 00:55:52,719 --> 00:55:55,840 can't fart if he can can't stay away. No, but I think it's 739 00:55:55,840 --> 00:56:00,159 morphine too morphine. It's gin. Oh told him not to give him gin. 740 00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:06,239 I love. What is the the think tank that came up with gin 741 00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:08,159 for that? They were at this time, by the way, they were 742 00:56:08,199 --> 00:56:13,039 more than allowed. They were giving kids morphine every fucking day. Big tank 743 00:56:13,159 --> 00:56:16,320 Rey. Yeah, Tanker is like baby farting too much? Poor ma shot. 744 00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:21,760 They're like, no, no, no, no, uh next up, 745 00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,440 No, number thirteen. I'm good with that. Yeah, we have 746 00:56:24,519 --> 00:56:28,880 five questions left. You gotta start firing other answers. Yeah, you can't 747 00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:32,159 keep picking the same It's not advantageous kind of fucking. I know it's not 748 00:56:32,199 --> 00:56:35,760 gonna be better for you to go first. No, No, it's better 749 00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:38,239 I go first. But he needs to like if you you don't know, 750 00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:40,760 I feel like you gotta go with I'm going with my heart right now. 751 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:44,000 But now I'm gonna go with my brain, so go Yeah, okay, 752 00:56:45,559 --> 00:56:49,880 number thirteen. In the nineteen twenties, in order to have an attractive child, 753 00:56:50,159 --> 00:56:57,360 women were advised to not do the following anal a think about ugly people 754 00:56:58,199 --> 00:57:07,360 be read see ride on Trains. Go ahead, Dan, I want to 755 00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:09,880 hear your logic, just for this too, especially about the trains one. 756 00:57:10,559 --> 00:57:15,519 Yeah, they caught me off guard, but a kind of uh, too 757 00:57:15,639 --> 00:57:22,880 random to not be the right answer. I think he's repeated reading so many 758 00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:28,119 times. I get that you don't want your child to be a nerd, 759 00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:32,599 and like, I mean, all the way up intil the there's literally already 760 00:57:32,679 --> 00:57:38,679 been an answer where the child learning too much right makes them hideous, makes 761 00:57:38,719 --> 00:57:42,840 them no, no, it makes them die early, but they die hideously. 762 00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:47,679 Yeah, I get that. However, I mean, and you know, 763 00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:51,039 all the way up until like the mid two thousands, if you wore 764 00:57:51,079 --> 00:57:54,320 glasses and had your hair up in a ponytail, you were ugly, but 765 00:57:54,760 --> 00:58:00,320 it was an easy fix, and that's how you became hot that so many 766 00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:06,360 different movies. Notoriously, she's all that. I'm gonna go it's too it's 767 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:09,119 just too random to be the wrong. We'll go trains. Okay, So 768 00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:13,800 I truly want to answer trains because I think the reason is the bumps will 769 00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:15,480 make the baby bump. The jostling, yeah, the jostling, right, 770 00:58:15,519 --> 00:58:22,440 But at this point, fuck, like, I don't want to give you 771 00:58:22,519 --> 00:58:25,880 like any more of a lead. What was it? A A was thinking 772 00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:35,199 about ugly people manifesting. Sure it's Dan though it's a thinking. Yeah, 773 00:58:35,679 --> 00:58:39,840 thinking about ugly people will make your baby ugly. How often do you think 774 00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:44,239 about ugly people? Though? I don't. Never, it never happened. 775 00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:46,519 I'm never like they're ugly. We'll think about it though at the time you 776 00:58:46,559 --> 00:58:50,480 go to you like, get avoid the freak shows. I get that that 777 00:58:50,599 --> 00:58:54,280 type of thing. But no, randomly crosses your mind an ugly person? 778 00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:58,599 No, never, never. Once Maybe it was more back then, more 779 00:58:58,679 --> 00:59:01,800 ugly like when you're just thinking your daydreaming. And no, it's never an 780 00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:07,000 ugly person that crosses your mind. There's never like that weird kid from classes, 781 00:59:07,079 --> 00:59:09,039 like, hey, what are you up to in your daydream? No? 782 00:59:09,559 --> 00:59:13,920 I haven't thought about you in years? Why are you here to? 783 00:59:14,039 --> 00:59:16,719 Jake is one back? Now Dan's still in the lead as the better father. 784 00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:22,119 I mean for really there were fourteen. Now this is from the twentieth 785 00:59:22,119 --> 00:59:30,360 century. Bo I believe, post war my century. Yeah. Yeah, 786 00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:35,840 it was once thought that routine bed wedding was a sign that a child was 787 00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:43,800 destined to be what a a homosexual be, a communist? See a sociopath? 788 00:59:44,239 --> 00:59:49,719 Okay, homosexual ce sociopath. We are all tied up. Yeah, 789 00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:53,719 I actually know that. I didn't realize you would know that. What the 790 00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:59,920 fuck? No, it's it's three. Actually it's a bed wedding, start 791 01:00:00,199 --> 01:00:04,760 fires, yeah, and hurting animals are the three. I would have thought. 792 01:00:05,159 --> 01:00:07,800 Sociopath though, So when was this question? This? Postwar? This 793 01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:10,679 is like fifty six. I still thought this would have been like a newer 794 01:00:12,559 --> 01:00:15,920 term. They wet the bed to put out the fire inside of them, 795 01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:17,800 Like, I'm sure they knew what a sociopath was, but that's kind of 796 01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:22,880 we kind of throw that around so often. Burn things to warm up the 797 01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:27,800 coldness inside of them. They hurt animals to hurt the humans. We're tired, 798 01:00:28,039 --> 01:00:30,079 We're tired all. So now Jake has the answer first. Yes, 799 01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:35,159 is Jake's turn to answer? First? We have three questions left, the 800 01:00:35,159 --> 01:00:39,559 best of three. Okay, for all the fucking marbles, and be really 801 01:00:39,639 --> 01:00:43,360 disappointed. Now, not that not that you shouldn't answer the same if you 802 01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:49,119 believe that the answer is correct, but obviously you both need to score points 803 01:00:49,199 --> 01:00:53,840 and have the other person that score point. Yes, and okay, question 804 01:00:53,880 --> 01:01:00,960 fifteen by six months old. According to our our old friend doctor Sackett, 805 01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:08,159 Oh he's back. Uh, a child should be doing what A we're leieving 806 01:01:08,199 --> 01:01:10,760 themselves in a toilet. Again, this is by six months old. A 807 01:01:12,079 --> 01:01:19,920 relieving themselves in a toilet. B drinking coffee and eating bacon. C putting 808 01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:27,800 themselves to bed. I'm gonna go see putting themselves to bed? Like wait, 809 01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:34,079 no, by putting themselves to bed, do they mean like getting up 810 01:01:34,119 --> 01:01:37,960 and going to bed or do they mean like falling asleep without the help? 811 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:40,639 Don't? Oh? No, no, no help. Well that's there's a 812 01:01:40,719 --> 01:01:45,719 very clear reason why I'm asking that. I don't know when children walk. 813 01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:52,440 Well, I was like, that's on you baby, dad, what do 814 01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:57,760 you think it's walk? I don't know and a half two and a half, 815 01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:00,199 either of you know. I'm gonna go with C. I mean your 816 01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:06,320 kid getting even really talking and he's almost two. C. I mean I 817 01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:12,360 want it to be B so bad it's not, but I want them to 818 01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:20,079 want six month year olds just being a little Ron Swanson's six month olds just 819 01:02:20,159 --> 01:02:24,639 crushing coffee and eating bacon. Uh no, I'll go A. We're leaving 820 01:02:24,679 --> 01:02:31,719 themselves in a toilet. Yeah, it's B. Yeah, yeah, this 821 01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:36,480 is a satirical book. It's B. Can't be right. The same guy 822 01:02:36,519 --> 01:02:39,599 who said loving your children too much will make them a communist. Okay, 823 01:02:39,639 --> 01:02:44,000 this is Ron Swanson's book. Yeah, like yeah, this dude, straight 824 01:02:44,079 --> 01:02:46,639 up, I just answered B for the vibe. Okay, if this guy 825 01:02:46,679 --> 01:02:51,000 shows back up, I know exactly how I'm answered. He doesn't. Unfortunately, 826 01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:53,639 damn it, I might have to do a whole episode on doctor Sackett. 827 01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:59,000 This is fantastic. You love him. What are you trying to make 828 01:02:59,079 --> 01:03:01,880 him a red They said bacon should be by six to eight weeks old, 829 01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:07,639 and then coffee was six buths, let's finish are they purreeing it? No? 830 01:03:07,639 --> 01:03:13,239 No, let's finish this all right? Two left. Doctor Lambert Ott 831 01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:20,480 in nineteen nineteen recommended what to cure weak children A A glass of red wine. 832 01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:25,719 B spankings, c being made to sleep outdoors until the weakness ceased. 833 01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:32,119 See, let me go B spanking. We're going spartan. I'm going spanking 834 01:03:32,199 --> 01:03:37,280 just to toughen them up. It's a glass of red wine. Damn dude, 835 01:03:37,559 --> 01:03:42,280 there's one question left to decide. Who's the better father. Yeah, 836 01:03:42,639 --> 01:03:45,480 we might be tied. We might be. I could see that little like 837 01:03:45,599 --> 01:03:51,039 liquid courage, you know. Yeah, yeah, he told him that you 838 01:03:51,039 --> 01:03:53,079 weren't supposed to tell him it's red wine and say it's just a red tonic 839 01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:59,199 like the fucking kids. Yeah, I know, oh yeah, clearly. 840 01:03:59,239 --> 01:04:03,719 Oh good Now. I think this is such a great question to end on 841 01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:08,679 because I think if either of you would be dads, you'd be girl dads. 842 01:04:10,159 --> 01:04:12,719 I wouldn't mind being a girl dad, I honestly don't. I don't 843 01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:15,079 understand the fucking big to do about it where they're like, oh, you 844 01:04:15,119 --> 01:04:18,239 must have flicked up in your life. It's so stupid. I wanted a 845 01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:23,480 girl in that way. Finn was a disappointment. Gut, Finn's gonna be 846 01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:26,400 so rad. You gotta go for three. I know we probably will eventually. 847 01:04:26,519 --> 01:04:29,719 Courtney's still wrapping her mind around it. But that's why I haven't got 848 01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:35,159 snipped yet, m because I know she's gonna want this hot seamen. It'd 849 01:04:35,199 --> 01:04:42,039 be weird if it was cold, it would be yeah, last question doing 850 01:04:42,119 --> 01:04:45,079 These three things were thought by people in the nineteenth century. So in the 851 01:04:45,079 --> 01:04:54,360 eighteen hundreds to bring on puberty too early in girls, A schooling, working 852 01:04:54,559 --> 01:05:01,079 and over sleeping, B spending too much time around dogs, horses and oxen 853 01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:09,840 se reading, attending parties, and the opera. I'm going with Bee. 854 01:05:11,039 --> 01:05:15,760 There's something animalistic about the process that they think, like the livestock can affect 855 01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:19,679 it. I don't know why. I just think it's be I agree with 856 01:05:19,719 --> 01:05:26,480 that, but and that would be my answer, but for the sake of 857 01:05:26,559 --> 01:05:30,320 us having a winner, the opera caught me off course. I'm gonna go. 858 01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:40,840 See Dan is the better father, Let's go. I love that, 859 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:45,079 like because we both were on the same page about the livestock though. Yeah, 860 01:05:45,079 --> 01:05:47,840 I thought it was for sure. I love that that just both rang 861 01:05:47,920 --> 01:05:53,400 true in our heads. For no reason. I really thought that being around 862 01:05:54,239 --> 01:06:00,480 animals would get one of you. It got me good. You get you 863 01:06:00,559 --> 01:06:05,280 a father that screams, let's go when he wins. So Dan is the 864 01:06:05,320 --> 01:06:13,480 better father according to this quiz, Oh, this is hardly better father. 865 01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:18,960 No, I was proved it. I knew he believed it. Thank you 866 01:06:19,079 --> 01:06:23,480 for listening to the Patreon hope you guys enjoyed this episode. But it was 867 01:06:23,519 --> 01:06:29,239 illuminating on how to be a good parent in the last century. Zero. 868 01:06:29,760 --> 01:06:32,800 Yeah, I got none. I got none. I'm so impressed that either 869 01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:36,800 of you got that right. I was really worried someone was gonna say schooling, 870 01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:40,679 working over, sleeping, No, no, no, Once you said 871 01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:44,840 opera, I'm like, hmmm, light's going off. High light on my 872 01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:48,599 arm, going off the high notes, just gonna spark those oves up exactly. 873 01:06:48,679 --> 01:06:51,480 Yeah, it shatters the hymen. Actually, is that really what they 874 01:06:51,480 --> 01:07:01,159 said? Crush him and gone cherry popped. That's all I got for Dan 875 01:07:01,239 --> 01:07:05,000 Ridgester and Jake Goldban. I'm rob Fox. You just got softser bitches,