I have a meeting in about ten minutes or so, so we're gonna be
a little bit shorter on the Minnesota Goodbye. So I have not pre read
these emails to know what they're going to do. So let's jump in.
Here comes Brent from a Chicago and Brent wants a staff writer sticker, So
I'm gonna take a picture of his address. I got to catch up on
those. I'm way behind. Hey all, I keep hearing you read emails
from people complaining about too many commercials on the podcast interrupting the show. I
listen to the pod on the Apple podcast app and only experience one commercial at
the beginning and one at the end. Maybe ditch the iHeart app. I
would defend the iHeart app, but if they can't get their act together,
then I don't know what to say. It is really annoying, Like we
get a lot of text messages, a lot of people being like, hey,
I've been listening to commercials for the last twenty minutes. Yeah, what's
going on? I mean, if you're gonna find it's kind of like if
you get better service at Target, then you do it. Cohles, You're
gonna go to Target? So I would love to defend the iHeart app,
but I would rather have you have a great experience on the Apple App than
try to listen to the iHeart App. So, but he does say,
I will admit I'm an avid listener to the Morning Show via the iHeart App
from Chicago. So they listened to the show on the iHeart App, which
seems to work fine, but the podcast is a different story. Thanks for
the entertainment. By the way, I'm digging the bro Show while Jenny is
out. Thank you, Brent. I appreciate that one. By the way,
go on Jenny's Instagram and look at the pictures of the really really cool
pictures of Jenny's vacation. Please don't say a name. I have a story
was reminded of yesterday when you talked about cars breaking down and approaching strangers.
My senior year of college in twenty fifteen, I had an interview for a
teaching job up north. For some reason, my directions took me through a
very bizarre back road. I was driving a Great Grand Caravan minivan when I
heard the loudest noise and realized I'd blown a tire. Oh, no service
to make a call. Was stranded on a dirt road in my nice dress
pants, heels and the works. I started approaching some houses. Do you
see if anybody had a landline I could use. The first house had a
dog that came running out of me, and I quickly turned and ran as
fast as I could in my heels back to my car. They must have
had an invisible fence because it never left the yard. The next house over,
luckily had a woman who was home and let me borrow her landline,
call a tow truck, and then my boyfriend. Eventually the tow truck came.
I had service and called the place I was interviewing, and I was
three hours late. They still interviewed me and I got the job. Wow,
thanks for all you do. That is staff writer and I won't say
her name. A friend told me a story a long time ago about how
he got the job at a record company because he got there at the office
building that was like thirty or forty stories high and the elevator wasn't working.
So this guy who was a DJ with me in Chicago or Columbus, he
ran up the stairs because the elevators weren't working because he didn't want to be
late, so he ran up thirty or forty flights of stairs, got to
the interview all out of breath and pulling his collar open and sweating, and
the manager interviewing him thought that was so funny that he gave him the job
because it was such a great story. It's so funny. Yeah, that
is a good story. Thank you for that. I'm gonna hit delete lex
one. Thank you, Dave. I feel so seen. I appreciate so
much that you quickly describe parenting two small children as fucking constant and the lot.
It's true. I love it so much. I'm a stay at home
mom and I had my second child on day one of the pandemic shutdown.
Even now that they are a little older, they talk so much, and
it's such a volume that I can't even hear myself. Think. Many days
it's me or one or both of them for thirteen hours straight. That's just
a lot of time to spend with someone who has very little concept of personal
time or space. You guys are great. Thank you. That is from
Michelle. We talked about this many times, about how Alison brings the girls
over because Alison and Justin need to break but they are a lot. They
are constantly in need of attention at one and three years old. I you
know, I've been thinking about this, when is the age that people usually
start thinking about having kids? Because there's a lot there's a bunch of people
that I graduated with, you know, they're starting to get kids, they're
starting to get married, and I just have zero desire for it, Like
literally zero desire for it. After seeing you know, I'm a great with
my niece and nephew. I'll babysit them, awesome, it's fine, but
man, seeing how they are with like my brother and all that is just
like, wow, I don't I don't want to know. And you know
what, I loved kids when I was like ten twelve years old. That
was great with my nieces and nephews. Never had any desire to have kids
till I you know, I didn't even when Cricket got pregnant. I was
nineteen. Actually when she got pregnant, I was eighteen. Beth was born
when I was nineteen, But it wasn't like I had this instinct. I'm
really glad that I've had all my kids, but I think that I don't
know that there's an age do you ever want it? You don't think you
ever want to have kids? No, I think I'll I do eventually want
to have kids, I think, but right now it's just like I can't
even fathom it, you know what I'm saying, Like, it's just not
something that I really want, right And I ask it totally inappropriate question.
Yeah, you being gay? What would be your game plan to have a
kid? You know, I haven't done a whole lot of research about it.
It would probably be adoption. I think there's like some type of thing
where you can give somebody sperm and they bure Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
is that what that is? Yeah, so it probably be something like
that or an adoption, you know, it's whatever, Okay, I'm just
curious. Yeah, I don't know if there's an age. I think some
people want to have kids when they're like twenty years old, and other people
want to have kids because it's getting close to the end of their baby making
years, right, But I don't know. I think some people, really
you want to have kids when you're young enough to be able to keep up
with them. But I had Carson when I was thirty eight, and I
never had trouble keeping up with him. We've gone on hikes and boy scouts
and rafting and snowboarding and skiing together. My dad was forty seven, almost
forty eight when he had me, which was I didn't realize it when I
was young, but when I got older and I realized that my dad was
twenty years older than my friend's dad, right, dad's it was a little
bit weird, but he did a really good job of you know, we
weren't out like doing strenuous stuff, but he went camping and shooting and hiking
things like that. So I don't know. I don't have an Maybe you
have an answer for Drake. I'm not sure. Next one from Demonte,
a regular staff writer, meant to email in yesterday, but I forgot.
I had to share what Dave made me do at work on Wednesday. You're
all doing Hallmark movie improv games. I mistakenly took a big gulp of water.
Dave suddenly and unexpectedly yelled, shut up, you old bitch to Drake's
character. I am a ups driver. I was in the back of the
truck where I keep my water, also where packages are loaded. I'm sure
you can start to paint the picture. I proceeded a spit take all over
a couple of shelves of packages. Oh no, they were dry by the
time I got to that section. So what the customers don't know won't hurt
him. I suppose blame Dave. He caused this, not me. Thanks
for my sticker. Attached is my pick on my sixty four Houns water bottle.
I also added a picture of my care bear sticker because it's funny.
And there it is, and he's got a freaking care bear on the side
of his bottle. Demante, we love you, thank you very much,
and he writes again. He writes another email, and he says, Dave,
your analogy on roller coasters being like sex was hilarious. Yesterday we were
talking about how you know different sex is like you know, it's like going
to Valley Fair. There are some people who want to go on the scary,
scary rides where you scream the entire time, and some people who want
to take it easy. Drake, you are disgusting for wanting to go to
the water park and want to are sick. Fuck lmao. Just JK,
Dave. You said you have a crack in your windshield has been there for
a while. Just wanted to see if you know if your insurance covers window
damage. I think they do. Most do. They usually use safe light,
and they will come to do the repair at your home, super convenient.
I sent an email last week that I think got lost in the shuffle.
I'm sending again so you can at least know what you made me do
for. And that's the one with the water bottle. I'm going to bring
back something from that you won't remember. It happened before you were born.
There used to be a company that advertised all over radio and TV that if
they fixed your windshield, they'd give you a free box of steaks. And
I'm going to look up the guy. I don't want to do anything that,
like, you know, Sally's his character, but let me look up
here, because his name was, like we're talking like actual like food steak,
Yeah exactly, Okay, So yeah, his name is George Corporal.
And so George Corporal is dead, and so I don't risk saying anything bad
about him because you you know, it's not that I want to say anything
bad about George Corporal. But George Corporal had this company and I don't remember
what it was called, but George Corporal would basically he did these advertisements that
said, if you get your windshield fixed with us here it is glass service
company. Get your windshield fixed with us, will give you a free box
of steaks. And it was a huge, huge deal because when you got
your windshield fixed in the eighties and nineties in Minnesota, you did it with
this guy. Then people started to figure out, wait a second, my
insurance company, nobody's insurance company, should be paying for a free box of
steaks. You should be paying for the windshield. Sure, pay for my
windshield to get fixed. But for them to build in the price of a
box of steaks just to when your business was a little bit shady. Yeah.
So I say that not because it's a great story, but because it's
a little bit of a nostalgic little thing. Yeah, because back in the
day, you got your windshield fixed by George Corporal and got a free box
of stake. What a great deal it wasn't People would be like, shit,
I want them steaks. Yeah, dude, next one you were talking
about car troubles cracking windshields. I have horrible luck with these types of things.
Want to tell my misfortunes. In twenty twenty, I made my first
big girl purchase of a brand new Jeep twelve miles on it the perfect car,
just what I was looking for twenty years old. So a brand new
car was a big deal, especially compared to the piece of junk that I
was driving before. Two days after I bought him, driving down one sixty
nine following a semi, but I had no choice. My exit was very
soon. The semi hit a small rock and it flew at my car and
cracked my windshield, devastating. Got it fixed not even six months later,
same chunk a highway. Getting off the same exit, a dump truck with
wood debris in the back was in front of me. A rock flew out
the back and crack my windshield again. In the same car, I was
in the lane next to another dump truck. Thang something I still don't know
what flew out of the back and somehow perfectly landed to pop my tire.
I had the worst luck with this car. Four years later, I still
love her. By the way, her name is Betty White. Oh my
god, that's great. That's just so unlucky, dude. I mean,
seriously, that's something you could expect maybe every ten years, but not that
often. I would love a sticker if still available, and I'm gonna send
you on aman decay. She signs it dart lick, dart lick, thank
you very much. I'm gonna hit the lead on that one. And this
one is a sex capades one that goes on for a really long time.
So I'm going to flag that for a Naughty Tuesday. And I think we're
gonna be a little bit short, but I go back to Tammy. Tammy
sent an email close to a month ago. She said, I figure if
you have some questions, if you need some questions, they might be fun
to answer. We need need to fill some time, so I'm going to
give you one right now. Okay, there you go. Ready. Yep.
If you were kidnapped and we're able to call your partner and say just
one sentence, that cannot be help I'm kidnapped. What sentence would you say
that would let your partner know that something was definitely wrong? Example, somebody
that's terrified to steakes, snakes saying they are thinking of becoming a snake breeder.
So that's a tough one. If you were to call your partner or
somebody and say something that lets them know you're being kidnapped, But you can't
say help, I'm kidnapped. What would you say? I would say,
can you bring over some food for my pet spider? Because I hate spiders.
I have a rachnophobia. So and I would probably call my parents because
they know how terrified I am because I was a fucking little b word about
spiders when I was younger. That's that's legit, because they'd be like,
whoa Drake, are you okay? That's all you say and hang up and
they go, oh, my god, Drake's not okay. That genius,
I guess. I could say, I don't know, I'm here on the
moon and the view is lovely, and then Susan would be like, what
the fuck you I And then if I just said that and I hung up,
she would probably call nine one one, Wow, I'm speaking of bugs.
It was funny because I give Chase such a hard time. I told
this story during his wedding during the Father of the Groom speech. He hated
bugs when he was a kid. And when Chase was probably about sixteen or
so, he was at my house in Colorado and he was in the bathroom
taking a shower and getting ready, and I heard a blood curdling scream,
just a horrible scream, and I thought, oh my god, he slipped
in the tub. He cut himself open, he's dying. I ran to
the bathroom. I knocked on the door, Chase, are you okay?
No, there's a bug in here. And so he also did not like
he still does not like bugs. And that's it for the Minnesota Goodbye.
Send your emails to Ryanshow at KDWB dot com, and we'd love to get
Sean for next time. We'd love to send you a Minnesota Goodbye staff writer
sticker. Send those in because we'll need more for tomorrow. To Ryanshow at
KDWB dot com.