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Welcome to Fast Food Horror. This
week, we have a tale from the

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devil's point of view that you may
be very very well familiar with. In

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a tale entitled A Plan from Scratch
by E. J. Miller, they

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say the greatest trick I ever pulled
was convincing the world I do not exist.

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To that, I reply, ha, ha ha. You are not

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looking at the whole board. You
are looking at but one piece. You

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are looking at but one move.
You are so focused on that one thing,

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You simple creatures, you fail to
see everything else, all the other

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seemingly random moves that have gotten us, And there are a lot of us

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closer to my goals. To paraphrase
your beloved Bard, you can't even see

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the forest for the trees. I
admit convincing you creatures that I did not

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exist was a very nice play on
my part. I know that's a prideful

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statement, and pride is a sin. But look who you're talking to.

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The very notion that I exist drove
so many into my adversaries camp for hundreds

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of years fear of the torment they
would face in the next life, an

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eternity in Hell, a very real
place, by the way, for their

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sins and misdeeds kept so many to
be good and penitent. I had to

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change it up, making you creatures
believe I don't exist. Well, that

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definitely increased the numbers down here,
but it is one of many moves I

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have made. I am here to
play the long game. I am waging

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a war on many fronts, so
many battles you aren't even aware I'm behind.

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Let me give you some examples.
Because of theology and science, I

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was able to not only convince you
that I do not exist, but that

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my adversary doesn't exist either. The
rise in atheism these last hundred years,

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oh me turning away so many from
my adversaries embrace, Oh makes me smile.

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Or if you do not believe in
Me and Hell, and you do

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not believe in Him and his kingdom
up there, then there are no wards

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or consequences for your actions in the
next life, or that there is no

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next life. Therefore, you can
do as you please. Hear, indulge

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in anything without fear of judgment or
consequence. Steal, adultery, lie,

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cheat, abuse, lust, envy, greed, sloth, gluttony, pornography,

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prostitution, it's all there without consequence. I went in another way too.

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I planted the idea, the thought
that my adversary doesn't even care,

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what kind of God would allow terrible
things to happen, and that it is

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his fault for all the pain in
this world, all the war, plagues,

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famine, and sickness that happened to
you, creatures. Not only does

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he allow it to happen, he
doesn't even stop it from happening, stop

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it from occurring. What kind of
all powerful God would allow that to happen

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or not love you enough to stop
it from occurring. That separated so many

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from his flock because they were angry, frustrated, because they hated and blamed

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him. I am most proud,
though, of my most recent move social

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media. Ah, you gobbled that
up right away, didn't you. You

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were told and sold that you would
be more connected, more together, to

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share ideas and thoughts, become a
one world community, converse, solve big

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problems, have information at your fingertips. And now, oh, you creatures

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are so much more easily manipulated on
a broader scale and so distracted because of

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this little invention. You're not even
paying attention to the world around you,

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a world that you are in theory
more connected to because of that social network

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that you are so addicted to.
Because each of you lives in your own

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little world, you are more divided
than you ever were put into your own

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tribes and camps by your own doing, turning on family and friends for their

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beliefs or politics. You resort to
name calling, judging, canceling, and

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bullying at the drop of a hat, without even confirming the facts or trying

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to understand another's point of view.
And it has become the place you go

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to for answers as well, for
the littlest or biggest of questions, answers

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you previously would have gotten. Direction, you previously would have gotten from him,

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guidance and answers from your shepherd whom
you've wandered from. Don't believe me

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that that little device means so much
to you At your next family gathering,

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at your next group of friends you
meet with Hell, just open up your

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eyes the next time you're in any
social setting, be at a store,

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a mall, a local fair,
or a little league baseball game. Look

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around. You'll be the only one
looking around that is. Meanwhile, everyone

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else is looking at that device in
their hand. They could be with their

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spouse or their children, pushing their
elderly grandmother or grandfather in a wheelchair,

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or working at that counter where they
sell coffees or treats. They're more still

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wrapped up in that device in their
hand than they are with the actual creature

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that's right in front of them,
that loved one, that friend. They

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could be about to be hit by
a car in the street, and you'll

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see more of you creatures raise their
phone up to record to get that viral

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video, then run out or call
out to save that creature about to be

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struck, if they even take the
time to look up and even notice,

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which brings us to you. Dear
Johnny, you still have that look of

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confusion on your face since you've arrived. Let me illuminate you. As I

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have said, I have been waging
a war on you creatures from many affront

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and I've always been prepared to play
the long game to get what I want,

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which is to tempt every single soul
I can get my hands on and

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increase my numbers and deplete is.
Yes, they wrote a song about our

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little fiddle battle, and yes you
did win that fiddle made of gold,

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which is good because you're going to
be playing that for me for an eternity.

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You see, I've waited fifty years
since our little contest. My goal

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was never to win your soul in
that little game, as I said,

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I played a long game. It
was to see if you could condemn yourself

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here by making one statement, and
you did over and over again. Don't

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you remember they immortalized it in that
song by that Daniel's creature. It's the

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last line, How did it go? Devil? Just come on back if

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you ever want to try again.
I told you once, you son of

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a bitch, I'm the best that's
ever been. I'm the best that's ever

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been. You've repeated that line over
and over as you've bragged on and on

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about our little encounter, and those
words, I am the best that's ever

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been our words of pride. Pride
is a sin, a deadly sin,

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and sins do have their consequences,
don't they. I just had to wait

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until your time on Earth ran out, and here you are, And here

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you are now, dear Johnny,
start playing, and you will keep playing

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and playing until your fingers bleed,
until your flesh wears a way down to

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the very bone. And then you
will play some more, we have all

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the time in the world. We
have an eternity here