WEBVTT 1 00:00:24.440 --> 00:00:29.000 Simple questions for one hundred people. Welcome to our experiment, the one hundred 2 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:33.280 person Project. I am Bill Correll, and this is my investigation. This 3 00:00:33.320 --> 00:00:37.479 is a research project to gather data from one hundred beautiful human beings for the 4 00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:42.719 sole purpose to see what actually happens across the interviews. The questions are fixed 5 00:00:42.719 --> 00:00:47.840 and all the interviews will remain consistent with a variable being the actual participants themselves 6 00:00:47.840 --> 00:00:52.359 and their answers. So it's as if I'm having you come sit on my 7 00:00:52.479 --> 00:00:55.679 porch, Sean, to share your thoughts so I can learn about people. 8 00:00:56.880 --> 00:01:00.560 We're looking forward to what we're going to learn when we're done, and we're 9 00:01:00.640 --> 00:01:04.599 very interested in the people, the process in your particular story. So it's 10 00:01:04.640 --> 00:01:10.239 my distinct pleasure to introduce. Well, how about I let you do that 11 00:01:10.359 --> 00:01:14.599 for me. What is your name? Your full name? My full name 12 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:19.920 is Sean denin no middle name. I do you have a middle name? 13 00:01:19.959 --> 00:01:23.200 My middle name is Ashley. There you go. And not a lot of 14 00:01:23.239 --> 00:01:27.319 people know that right now? Well they do now at least you and me. 15 00:01:30.560 --> 00:01:36.280 That's fantastic. And how do you feel about that name? I always 16 00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:45.920 hated it, so obviously Sean is not typically a girl's name. I've gotten 17 00:01:45.920 --> 00:01:49.560 over that, having it for thirty three years now. Now I tell people 18 00:01:49.560 --> 00:01:56.920 that boys names build character for girls. But I was always like double upset 19 00:01:56.959 --> 00:02:01.799 about it because of my middle name. So Sean Ashley Denene. My initial 20 00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:07.519 is spelled words sad son. You had to give me a boy's name, 21 00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:09.560 and you had to give me initials that I can't put anything out, put 22 00:02:09.599 --> 00:02:15.960 on anything because it's sad. But whatever, a little bit like a boy 23 00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:21.840 named Sue where you'd have to get tougher die right. I like it. 24 00:02:21.879 --> 00:02:29.599 That's so irish. So, Sean Ashley, what is your favorite nickname that 25 00:02:29.639 --> 00:02:34.879 most people don't know? So most people who are really close to me, 26 00:02:35.599 --> 00:02:38.759 my mom, my best friends, they all call me Shannie. And then 27 00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:45.080 my best friend her son, he calls me Shawnnye Bonnie. That's cute. 28 00:02:45.800 --> 00:02:52.039 Yeah. My godson's name is Shan se a n and his sister Emily always 29 00:02:52.039 --> 00:02:55.639 called him Shawnee. So that's good. I like it, so you know, 30 00:02:55.639 --> 00:02:59.000 and the other part of it is it's kind of neat to see the 31 00:02:59.280 --> 00:03:01.240 shoe on the other But because I've known a guy named Carol, he didn't 32 00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:07.120 like it all that much and Kim has been one of those kind of ambiguous 33 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:10.759 could be anybody my watch likes to talk to me from time to time. 34 00:03:12.840 --> 00:03:15.120 I could probably turn it off, but you know what, we'll just roll 35 00:03:15.159 --> 00:03:23.520 with it back to you. So about about Shannie and Shannie Bonnie who and 36 00:03:24.120 --> 00:03:31.039 tell me about how it makes you feel. So if someone like a stranger 37 00:03:31.159 --> 00:03:35.639 just calls me Shannie, I feel a little weird about it. There are 38 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:39.319 specific people that that's all they call me, So if they don't call me 39 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:43.280 that, it also feels weird. So it really just depends. He was 40 00:03:43.280 --> 00:03:49.080 his mouth that's coming out of Can I share a little Irish lore that I 41 00:03:49.159 --> 00:03:53.080 never realized until my friend Johnny McCullough explained this to me. Both of us 42 00:03:53.120 --> 00:03:55.639 are going on seventy years old. I think I'll be seventy a little bit 43 00:03:55.680 --> 00:04:00.400 before him. He could has always called me Billy, and he known me 44 00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:03.919 since the third grade. And after a lifetime of being called that by my 45 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:09.400 family and some very special close people, I asked John. I said, 46 00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:12.800 John, you know, we're a little bit long in the tooth to be 47 00:04:12.840 --> 00:04:15.800 calling each other, you know, ending up with an e. He says, 48 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:17.160 well, Billy, he says, you got to understand that that's an 49 00:04:17.160 --> 00:04:24.519 Irish demonstration of respect. You know that almost anybody who was anybody back in 50 00:04:24.560 --> 00:04:28.279 the day. That's why you know, scotsman are the same way Johnny Black, 51 00:04:28.560 --> 00:04:31.160 Johnny Walker Black. You know, there's a good reason that the Johnny 52 00:04:31.240 --> 00:04:35.279 is there like handsome, handsome, billy boy, you know, billy boyd 53 00:04:36.079 --> 00:04:44.040 so Shannie in our country would be probably most people wouldn't know that, and 54 00:04:44.040 --> 00:04:46.279 you'd have to explain it to him. And then if you've got to tell 55 00:04:46.319 --> 00:04:49.639 him the joke, then it's not really funny anymore, is it. Yeah? 56 00:04:49.720 --> 00:04:59.160 Anyway, so we'll move on from there. And when did you first 57 00:04:59.199 --> 00:05:05.279 notice what color hair you had? So I don't I have no idea, 58 00:05:06.120 --> 00:05:11.199 I have no recollection of being like, oh, I have brown hair. 59 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:15.600 But I do know is when I decided to change my brown hair and when 60 00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:19.360 I wanted my hair to be blonde instead of brown. And I think I 61 00:05:19.480 --> 00:05:24.560 was I was either I think I was around like eighth grade. My mom 62 00:05:24.639 --> 00:05:27.199 let me get highlights. Maybe it was earlier than that. I'm not sure, 63 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:31.480 but yeah, so oddly enough, I don't remember just realizing what it 64 00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:36.120 was, but I do remember changing it. That's interesting now, were you 65 00:05:36.879 --> 00:05:41.439 one of those ladies that did something else to your hair, like perming it 66 00:05:41.560 --> 00:05:45.279 or ironing it or something else, Curling it with a curling iron in high 67 00:05:45.279 --> 00:05:48.519 school sort of thing. Never perm but I'm straightened, my hair curled with 68 00:05:48.519 --> 00:05:53.920 my hair, it always just wants to be somewhere in between, so I 69 00:05:53.959 --> 00:05:57.639 don't do much to it anymore. But yeah, well I don't think you 70 00:05:57.759 --> 00:06:02.120 need to in my humble opinion. Okay, so we'll move on from your 71 00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:08.360 hair as interesting and exciting a topic as that is. What is your favorite 72 00:06:08.360 --> 00:06:13.720 thing to do to intentionally waste time? Well, I mean, I think, 73 00:06:13.839 --> 00:06:16.399 like a lot of people now, I just find myself scrolling on my 74 00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:21.560 phone. TikTok will kind of eat your brain. So I find that if 75 00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:27.120 there's a downtime, I am like scrolling on TikTok. I'm trying not to 76 00:06:27.160 --> 00:06:30.600 do that anymore, though, So if I'm trying to kill time now, 77 00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:32.920 I try to put the phone down and pick up a book instead, but 78 00:06:33.480 --> 00:06:40.439 my brain always wants to go to the phone immediately. It's interesting. Is 79 00:06:40.480 --> 00:06:45.120 there a particular feed or a channel or something. I know nothing about TikTok, 80 00:06:45.600 --> 00:06:49.040 but I'm imagining that it's probably like Facebook, where there's different categories of 81 00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:53.600 stuff that you can, you know, then kind of subscribe to, et 82 00:06:53.680 --> 00:06:57.240 cetera. Does it work that way, yeah, kind of, So it 83 00:06:57.399 --> 00:07:00.040 kind of learns what you like and then starts showing you more of that. 84 00:07:00.639 --> 00:07:03.800 It's not always spot on that, so sometimes you get into these like weird 85 00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:08.560 little niche things that you kind of get to be like. I don't know 86 00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:12.160 how I end up on this side of TikTok, but yeah, you can 87 00:07:12.240 --> 00:07:16.240 search particular things and come up with a whole bunch of videos for anything. 88 00:07:17.079 --> 00:07:21.560 Yeah, I do think there. Say again, I do a lot of 89 00:07:21.600 --> 00:07:28.040 my learning on there. I don't do it on TikTok, but I do 90 00:07:28.040 --> 00:07:32.800 do it on other social media. A lot of people making big time money 91 00:07:32.839 --> 00:07:38.240 on TikTok? Is that so? Oh yeah? Yeah? Millions of dollars 92 00:07:39.839 --> 00:07:46.600 and you. Yeah, so we've got an interesting connection here, and it 93 00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:48.879 looks like only one of us can talk at a time. So I'm going 94 00:07:48.959 --> 00:07:53.639 to be a lot more quiet till I'm pretty sure you're done speaking. Okay, 95 00:07:54.360 --> 00:07:57.959 Because you're my guest, I want to treat you with most respect, 96 00:07:58.560 --> 00:08:01.920 Shawnnie, And as a result of that, this is your story. So 97 00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:07.639 TikTok. Is there anything else that you do? You did say, go 98 00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:09.959 to a book. What kind of books do you read? I like a 99 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:18.360 good like corny love story. I'm not big into like thrillers are historical. 100 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:20.199 I like things that are fakes, so things that are like an escape for 101 00:08:20.279 --> 00:08:24.519 your mind. I don't necessarily want to have to do a lot of thinking 102 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:30.519 about plots and things like that. I just want it to be corny Hallmark 103 00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:35.799 movie cheese. We're really talking a snack here, right, I got it. 104 00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:46.679 So what is your favorite movie to watch by yourself? See, I 105 00:08:46.679 --> 00:08:50.840 don't watch a ton of movies. I'm like chronically one of those people that 106 00:08:50.879 --> 00:08:54.639 will fall asleep the second you put a movie on. I really like the 107 00:08:54.639 --> 00:08:56.759 movie big Fish, though I don't know if you've ever seen it. It's 108 00:08:56.759 --> 00:09:01.240 agree like the title I heard, who's in it? Oh, I have 109 00:09:01.279 --> 00:09:05.480 no idea? Okay, you're usually asleep by the time they run that at 110 00:09:05.519 --> 00:09:09.559 the end. Quit. Yeah, I get it. Okay, but big 111 00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:13.480 Fish, I'll have to look that up afterwards and just see what's what the 112 00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:16.399 attraction is. Yeah, it's a good one. It gets a little like 113 00:09:16.559 --> 00:09:22.799 weird and mythical almost, but it's a good one nice. So if you 114 00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:28.080 were to have an action figure of like super Sean made of you, what 115 00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:35.559 superpower would it have? And what colors would its uniform be? What superpower 116 00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:43.279 would it have? I always wanted to have teleporting superpowers because I hate driving 117 00:09:43.399 --> 00:09:46.399 and I just want to get places. So if my superpower could be just 118 00:09:46.440 --> 00:09:52.039 to go somewhere teleportation not have to waste time or do any driving or travel, 119 00:09:52.879 --> 00:10:00.200 I would like to have that. And it would probably be no what 120 00:10:00.200 --> 00:10:09.159 it would wear leggings and probably some like bright colored thing. Any two colors 121 00:10:09.159 --> 00:10:11.399 has come to mind. Could be more than two colors, but what would 122 00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:13.240 be the first two you think of? I mean, I have pink on 123 00:10:13.320 --> 00:10:16.320 today, so that's probably a good go to. I do a lot of 124 00:10:16.360 --> 00:10:24.159 like olive green or like burnt orange. Lovely, I can imagine, especially 125 00:10:24.200 --> 00:10:30.799 with the leggings. That sounds comfortable more than anything. Yeah, I think 126 00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:33.720 COVID taught us that we don't have to wear like real pants anymore. We 127 00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:37.559 can just wear leggings. However, it is advisable to wear some pants, 128 00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:43.039 right, Yes, yes, that didn't work out for certain people very well. 129 00:10:43.759 --> 00:10:46.879 I can't even imagine, you know, and the really neat. Part 130 00:10:46.879 --> 00:10:52.080 of all of that is is that having a superpower to be able to transport 131 00:10:52.440 --> 00:10:56.360 that so resonates with me. You know, I'm in the IT industry, 132 00:10:56.519 --> 00:11:00.600 right I started a computer company back in the early nineteen nineties. I thought 133 00:11:00.639 --> 00:11:07.159 that email was the coolest thing ever, So starting in nineteen ninety four nineteen 134 00:11:07.240 --> 00:11:09.480 ninety five, I was constantly trying to figure out how to send myself as 135 00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:15.519 an attachment in an email. I've yet to crack that code. So if 136 00:11:15.519 --> 00:11:18.519 anybody out there who's listening has a way to do that, I'd love to 137 00:11:18.559 --> 00:11:20.840 hear about it. And it sounds like Sean might be interested too. Yeah, 138 00:11:20.879 --> 00:11:26.159 definitely. I don't mind the travel, but I'd rather get where I'm 139 00:11:26.200 --> 00:11:31.559 going and get busy, you know. So what did you want? This 140 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:35.519 one's interesting, not like the other ones weren't interesting, But this one is 141 00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:39.559 interesting from the perspective of placing yourself in the past. So what did you 142 00:11:39.639 --> 00:11:46.679 want to grow up to be when you were five years old? I don't 143 00:11:46.679 --> 00:11:48.519 know if it was specifically five years old, but I know when I was 144 00:11:48.600 --> 00:11:54.279 younger, I wanted to be a fashion designer, and I don't know what 145 00:11:54.440 --> 00:12:00.919 happened to that, but at some point I phased out of it. So 146 00:12:01.240 --> 00:12:03.559 that might have come from movie, maybe the Devil Wears Product or something like 147 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:09.480 that. Maybe, and not so I remember wanting to be that when I 148 00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:13.759 was young. But then I remember also, like probably more high school age, 149 00:12:13.919 --> 00:12:18.879 there was a show called The Hills and they were like working for fashion 150 00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:22.679 companies and going to fashion school, and I just like thought that was the 151 00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:26.679 coolest thing. Yeah. Did you ever watch a project runway at all? 152 00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:33.000 Yep? Make it work? Yeah? Yeah, I love that. I 153 00:12:33.240 --> 00:12:37.000 but so I can't sew to save my life. I've taken sewing classes, 154 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:39.720 and it's just not for me. I'm more of a digital design kind of 155 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:45.240 person. So I don't think fashion design was really in the cards for me. 156 00:12:46.879 --> 00:12:50.360 You really are a digital design person, and that's kind of what you 157 00:12:50.440 --> 00:12:54.360 do, is your your secondary passion, as I would say, you know, 158 00:12:54.559 --> 00:12:58.879 and you want to spend a minute or two talking about that. How 159 00:13:00.120 --> 00:13:05.720 so do you think that the passion for being a fashion designer wound up getting 160 00:13:05.759 --> 00:13:11.159 redirected into design, you know, for digital stuff or was it something else 161 00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:13.840 along the way that caught your eye or some program that you stumbled into that 162 00:13:13.879 --> 00:13:18.159 you said, WHOA this thing can actually do what I might have gotten my 163 00:13:18.200 --> 00:13:24.559 mind. Yeah, So I've never been like a drawer painter. I couldn't 164 00:13:24.919 --> 00:13:33.159 make like my own art authentically basically. So when Canva came out, I 165 00:13:33.200 --> 00:13:37.120 thought that was the most incredible product. And I still use Canva for everything 166 00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:43.320 because a lot of it is people have made the little characters or like formats 167 00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:46.879 of things, and then you can change them and make them your own. 168 00:13:46.919 --> 00:13:50.360 And so I have an eye for like color and layout and things like that, 169 00:13:50.679 --> 00:13:54.960 but I couldn't draw you my own character. So that allows me to 170 00:13:56.039 --> 00:14:00.080 use else's talent, merge it together with mine, and then get what I 171 00:14:00.120 --> 00:14:03.519 want out of it. So I can I design my own journals. So 172 00:14:05.639 --> 00:14:11.759 a lot of that is done through Canva. Not again things that I drew 173 00:14:11.879 --> 00:14:15.639 myself, but somebody else put their one little piece out there. I took 174 00:14:15.679 --> 00:14:18.720 that, I combined it with something else, and then I made my version 175 00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:22.039 of art out of it, which is the journal covers. So it all 176 00:14:22.320 --> 00:14:28.200 kind of together with Canva. So there was this man back in the nineteen 177 00:14:28.399 --> 00:14:33.919 sixties and seventies. His last name was Deming, and he went to all 178 00:14:33.039 --> 00:14:37.639 of the manufacturing companies, the big manufacturing companies, automobiles, textiles, you 179 00:14:37.720 --> 00:14:43.000 name it. And he was trying to bring statistical quality control to them and 180 00:14:43.039 --> 00:14:46.639 he went to the Japanese and they just lapped it right up. They said, 181 00:14:46.639 --> 00:14:48.960 holy mackerel. You mean there's a way we don't have to have so 182 00:14:48.039 --> 00:14:52.000 much scrap and trash and everything, And he said, yeah, it's his 183 00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:56.840 first thing you do is you shamelessly steal all the best ideas. And I've 184 00:14:56.879 --> 00:15:01.960 carried that forward, you know, thing that's not patented, not the van 185 00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:03.600 product, but shame You know, if you want to take the process and 186 00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:09.159 shamelessly steal that, do yourself a favor. Don't reinvent the wheel every single 187 00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:13.000 time. So I love you saying that. Is that part of what you 188 00:15:13.039 --> 00:15:16.879 go on TikTok for is to kind of like get an idea of late breaking 189 00:15:16.759 --> 00:15:22.159 visual images and that sort of thing. Not so much. I do use 190 00:15:22.200 --> 00:15:26.279 it sometimes, Like there's different creators that will show you how to use tools 191 00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:31.519 on Canva that maybe you didn't know existed. Actually, I a couple of 192 00:15:31.559 --> 00:15:35.399 months ago discovered this new tool through TikTok that you can take an image that 193 00:15:35.440 --> 00:15:41.480 you like and you can have Canva apply the color scheme to whatever you're making. 194 00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:45.720 So if you're doing something branded, you can take your logo and have 195 00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:50.759 the flyer apply the color scheme from your logo. It's just so cool. 196 00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:54.080 It would probably take me hours playing around with it, but instead I can 197 00:15:54.120 --> 00:15:58.360 just click one button and have it all match perfectly. Terribly convenient. Huh. 198 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:04.279 Yeah, that's wonderful. So all right on to the next question. 199 00:16:04.360 --> 00:16:07.639 Now, this is a This is where I get to know you a little 200 00:16:07.639 --> 00:16:11.720 bit. Okay, what would you say, Sean, is your greatest accomplishment? 201 00:16:14.440 --> 00:16:19.120 My greatest accomplishment? I don't think it's like I guess we usually think 202 00:16:19.159 --> 00:16:22.559 that we want to have, like an award or an achievement or whatever. 203 00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:27.320 But I think my greatest accomplishment is just the perseverance that I've been able to 204 00:16:27.399 --> 00:16:33.480 have. So my fiance passed away in twenty twenty two, and instead of 205 00:16:33.600 --> 00:16:38.840 letting that destroy me, I've used it to fuel me and to be able 206 00:16:38.840 --> 00:16:44.799 to build off of it. So although it was something tragic and unexpected and 207 00:16:44.919 --> 00:16:49.440 nothing that I could have planned for, it's given me this whole different lights 208 00:16:49.519 --> 00:16:55.799 now, and my perseverance was able to take me on the journey that I'm 209 00:16:55.840 --> 00:16:59.840 on now and meet the incredible people that I've been able to meet go on 210 00:16:59.840 --> 00:17:03.759 the vacations and trips that I've gone on. So I credit that to my 211 00:17:03.879 --> 00:17:08.279 perseverance, and I think having that is a great accomplishment for myself. I 212 00:17:08.359 --> 00:17:11.920 really agree with you, and for me and the folks at home, we 213 00:17:11.960 --> 00:17:17.119 are sorry for your loss, but also inspired by how you're dealing with it. 214 00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:22.000 You are a very strong woman, and you're very self effacing, and 215 00:17:22.079 --> 00:17:26.200 you do good stuff for everybody you know all the time. It's very much 216 00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:30.759 appreciated. Thank you. I agree that's your greatest accomplishment, and also being 217 00:17:30.759 --> 00:17:36.240 that beacon of light that basically says, as long as you're still breathing, 218 00:17:36.279 --> 00:17:41.079 you still got work to do. Yep. Yeah, I'm sorry. Day 219 00:17:41.119 --> 00:17:45.960 before but people will say like, oh, well, how do you carry 220 00:17:45.960 --> 00:17:48.000 on and how do you still stay so positive and things like that, and 221 00:17:48.839 --> 00:17:52.319 all I ever say is I still have my life, so I have to 222 00:17:52.400 --> 00:17:56.200 keep living it, living my life because I have it, and as long 223 00:17:56.240 --> 00:18:00.000 as I have it, I'm going to live it in a way that hopefully 224 00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:03.680 brings me the most joy as possible. I love that, and quite frankly, 225 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:08.680 my whole life. All the songs that I've known were not about being 226 00:18:08.759 --> 00:18:12.039 joyful and loss. They were about how can I live without you and all 227 00:18:12.079 --> 00:18:15.839 the rest of that sort of thing. So that subliminally has really kind of 228 00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:21.640 created this thing that we can't point to and understand why we feel the way 229 00:18:21.640 --> 00:18:27.720 that we do. And I like that you're balanced. That's the best word 230 00:18:27.759 --> 00:18:33.799 I can come up with, you know, And enough said, onto the 231 00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:38.400 next thing. So, who is your favorite person to listen to? Sean 232 00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:48.400 in any way? In any way? I don't know. I mean, 233 00:18:48.960 --> 00:18:52.440 I would have to say my mom, just because my mom's my favorite person 234 00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:56.880 in general. She is the person that I laugh the hardest with. She's 235 00:18:56.920 --> 00:19:00.799 the person that I talk to if I need an year, So I don't 236 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:06.960 always want to take her advice, but she's probably ultimately my frorit person to 237 00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:11.279 listen to, and you enjoy listening to her no matter what you choose to 238 00:19:11.319 --> 00:19:15.160 do. Right, And in my adulthood, I've realized that she is almost 239 00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:18.160 ninety nine percent of the time right. So usually if she's telling me something, 240 00:19:18.839 --> 00:19:23.519 I should probably listen. And you usually find that right after you don't. 241 00:19:23.640 --> 00:19:26.920 Right. Yeah, teenage me would hate that, Oh my god, 242 00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:33.279 Yeah, this is not right. Something's wrong with it, and I appreciate 243 00:19:33.480 --> 00:19:36.720 obviously she did a pretty good job with you, and she still considers you 244 00:19:36.759 --> 00:19:41.640 a work in progress. That's pretty cool. So please complete this sentence. 245 00:19:42.039 --> 00:19:48.359 When I grow up, i'd like to and I grow up, I'd like 246 00:19:48.599 --> 00:19:59.599 to be happy and fulfilled whatever that looks like. Say some more, please, 247 00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:06.359 So I think that a lot of times we strive for like career success 248 00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:11.680 or success monetarily, and those things are awesome, But at the end of 249 00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:15.880 the day, I want my life to be one filled with joy and as 250 00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:23.279 much experience as possible. So, yeah, it's complicated and simple at once. 251 00:20:25.640 --> 00:20:26.680 Well, here's the thing. I like it because, you know, 252 00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:32.920 happiness is always a matter of perspective, and it's kind of on a sliding 253 00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:37.160 scale, you know. It's very context sense, as they say, And 254 00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:38.920 quite frankly, I think most people that run into you are going to think 255 00:20:38.920 --> 00:20:44.599 you're already pretty happy and joyful, you know, so for you, it 256 00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:48.799 would probably be off the hook for most other people. And I can just 257 00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:55.839 imagine you walking around every single day. This is the best day I've ever 258 00:20:56.000 --> 00:20:59.599 had. I can't wait for tomorrow because there's more fun stuff come in. 259 00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:06.119 Yeah, and I specifically use the word joy instead of happiness a lot, 260 00:21:06.200 --> 00:21:10.799 because I don't think that it's the same. Like to me, joy could 261 00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:17.240 be being content, being relaxed, being at ease. It doesn't necessarily have 262 00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:23.759 to be some explosion of smiles and laughter, but it's just good all around. 263 00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:29.319 Yeah, happiness is kind of like comfort, where joy is more or 264 00:21:29.400 --> 00:21:33.599 less getting lost in the moment, do you think, Yeah, like suddenly 265 00:21:33.599 --> 00:21:37.039 you look around in three hours, have gone by? What happened there? 266 00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:42.960 You know? Right, let's do it again tomorrow. Yeah, it's a 267 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:48.000 little more deep to me than just saying happiness. I agree, And now 268 00:21:48.039 --> 00:21:52.160 that you've explained it a little bit more, we have that distinction, the 269 00:21:52.200 --> 00:21:56.880 difference between happiness and joy. Thank you. Now. So what is the 270 00:21:56.920 --> 00:22:07.000 most important thing in life to you right now? The most important thing in 271 00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:11.680 life to me right now is complicated. In order to pick just one thing, 272 00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:21.200 I think experiencing things is important to me, Trying new things, anything 273 00:22:21.240 --> 00:22:26.880 that's going to allow me to not be stuck in this like grief hole is 274 00:22:26.920 --> 00:22:30.240 important to me. So anything that I can do to get out and feel 275 00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:37.079 like I'm alive and living and having purpose, that's what's most important to me 276 00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:41.279 right now. That's very cool. So now that you've said that, is 277 00:22:41.319 --> 00:22:48.720 there something else that's close to being that important to you? My relationships with 278 00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:55.960 people Since losing John, I think I have a different perspective on what a 279 00:22:56.000 --> 00:23:03.440 good relationship with anyone is. So means good friendships that are quality friendships that 280 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:08.119 give back to me and don't just suck things out of me are important to 281 00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:12.839 me. And whether that's what friends or family or whoever, having those quality 282 00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:18.200 connections is really important to me. I appreciate that's that's really great sharing. 283 00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:23.440 And I imagine there are a lot of people that are listening me included that 284 00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:32.240 that's very informative too. You know, the whole notion of relationships sometimes disappears 285 00:23:32.319 --> 00:23:36.200 while you're just in the middle of having another day with you know. It's 286 00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:38.279 like I had a friend, you know. He used to say, I 287 00:23:38.279 --> 00:23:41.720 wake up in the morning and I look over at my wife and I go, 288 00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:45.359 oh, you again, you know, And it's like I said, 289 00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:48.279 John, you know, it's over right, dude, And I said, 290 00:23:48.359 --> 00:23:52.799 go ask her if she's feeling the same way he did. And they had 291 00:23:52.839 --> 00:23:59.400 the most amicable, you know divorce. They are the happiest married to two 292 00:23:59.480 --> 00:24:03.720 other people. It just happened in such a way that both of them were 293 00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:06.880 not ready to break the other one's heart. And then when they told each 294 00:24:06.920 --> 00:24:11.960 other nobody's heart was broken, it was like, oh, thank god too. 295 00:24:12.119 --> 00:24:15.200 You go first, No, you go first, No, you go 296 00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:18.680 first, you know. And the remarkable thing they're still very good friends. 297 00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:22.480 As a matter of fact, the four of them travel together to this day. 298 00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:26.279 And it's remarkable to me because I don't know a lot of people that 299 00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:30.680 have that going on in their lives. And I appreciate you highlighting the whole 300 00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:33.559 notion of the relationship, especially with a partner. For you, I would 301 00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:40.480 imagine you're looking for something completely different than you were the last time. Absolutely, 302 00:24:40.519 --> 00:24:44.559 and honestly, I've tried to go back on dating apps, and it's 303 00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:48.599 kind of torture for me because people just don't understand the kind of relationship that 304 00:24:48.680 --> 00:24:53.640 I'm looking for. Because I have this comparison of I had the person that 305 00:24:53.720 --> 00:24:56.960 was perfect in my eyes that I wanted to be with forever. I'm not 306 00:24:57.039 --> 00:25:02.400 just interested in checking off a box that all right, married, check, 307 00:25:02.920 --> 00:25:07.960 having baby check. Like I want a connection, a person, a person 308 00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:11.079 to do life with, not just to check off all those timeline boxes. 309 00:25:11.839 --> 00:25:15.599 That's a wonderful thing to say. What if being married is a person is 310 00:25:15.640 --> 00:25:19.640 a person to do life with. I like that. You can count on 311 00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:23.799 me to steal it shamelessly. Okay, go right ahead, all right? 312 00:25:25.759 --> 00:25:30.839 So these are great answers. I love where you're coming from. What would 313 00:25:30.839 --> 00:25:36.759 you like to leave in the world after your time here is done? What 314 00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:44.119 would I like to leave? So I think I just want people like to 315 00:25:44.200 --> 00:25:49.079 think of me fondly because when I think about all of the people connected to 316 00:25:49.160 --> 00:25:56.240 John and how they feel having lost him, it's just such a like significant 317 00:25:56.279 --> 00:26:00.559 thing to say about his character that all of these people so deeply miss him 318 00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:03.720 and we're sad by him not being here. I mean, I have he 319 00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:11.200 had more male friends than any guy I've ever met ever, Like he maintained 320 00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:17.000 this close knit circle of guy friends from early age, like elementary school, 321 00:26:17.359 --> 00:26:19.039 and some of them will still message me and just tell me, like how 322 00:26:19.119 --> 00:26:22.319 much they miss him, or posts that they went to the cemetery and how 323 00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:26.640 much they missed him. And he was just such a light and an energy 324 00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:32.240 and a presence. And I want people to remember me as fondly as they 325 00:26:32.279 --> 00:26:37.720 think of him. That's amazing. I'm sure it'll be quite different. And 326 00:26:37.880 --> 00:26:42.480 at the same time, that's a It's a powerful way to share a loss, 327 00:26:42.519 --> 00:26:48.359 to just be back in contact again and say this is how I'm feeling 328 00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:52.319 today and thank John for what do you left for all of us with very 329 00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:59.880 cool I'm gonna smile now. Okay, So all right, do you have 330 00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:03.799 baker? Is there somebody that you go to to get donuts or bread or 331 00:27:03.799 --> 00:27:10.720 any of that kind of thing. I do some baking myself, so usually 332 00:27:10.759 --> 00:27:14.000 if I want something, I will just make it. But there is there 333 00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:15.559 is a bakery that I'll go to. It's in South Windsor. It's called 334 00:27:15.559 --> 00:27:19.599 Two Spy Spell Boalty makes some incredible stuff there. It sounds good. My 335 00:27:19.680 --> 00:27:25.759 first experience with a bakery was when I was I don't know, probably about 336 00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:29.000 five or six years old. My grandfather took me all around and we bought 337 00:27:29.039 --> 00:27:33.400 a bunch of ingredients and we went to the bake shop and he ordered a 338 00:27:33.480 --> 00:27:37.640 dozen donuts and the guy counted out thirteen into the bag, and I was 339 00:27:37.720 --> 00:27:42.079 like amazed, he gave you thirteen donuts? He said, any good bakery 340 00:27:42.119 --> 00:27:47.079 always does. You're buying the done, but a dozen you might as well 341 00:27:47.119 --> 00:27:51.759 get another one. And so to this day, I think the Baker's dozen 342 00:27:51.920 --> 00:27:53.680 is a concept that everyone ought to use. You know, when you're doing 343 00:27:53.759 --> 00:28:00.559 things for people and don't do twelve, do thirteen right, always more than 344 00:28:00.680 --> 00:28:07.559 is expected. So here's your Baker's question. What is the thing Sean that 345 00:28:07.640 --> 00:28:15.279 most people misunderstand about you? I think, especially lately and post John's passing, 346 00:28:15.640 --> 00:28:19.359 maybe even a little bit before, people I post a lot of stuff. 347 00:28:19.559 --> 00:28:22.799 So I post my feelings, I post about stuff that's going on. 348 00:28:22.880 --> 00:28:27.880 I post about however I'm feeling that I'm missing John or I just share a 349 00:28:27.920 --> 00:28:33.160 lot social media wise, and I think people really think that that's like kind 350 00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:37.960 of a tention grab kind of thing, and that's not at all what it 351 00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:41.440 is. Like Partially, it's therapeutic for me because I get to just like 352 00:28:42.519 --> 00:28:47.200 talk to a blank space about how I'm feeling, and that's a good outlet 353 00:28:47.279 --> 00:28:51.640 for me. But at the same time, I also get to reach people 354 00:28:51.720 --> 00:28:55.279 who may also be feeling the same way and help them if they're struggling. 355 00:28:55.799 --> 00:29:00.400 I've had people come and ask me for resources and I have them to provide 356 00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:06.960 to them. So by sharing those things, I wouldn't have naturally known that 357 00:29:06.960 --> 00:29:10.480 that person was struggling, but they saw that they could connect with me and 358 00:29:10.519 --> 00:29:17.559 then sent me a message. So it depends on perspective. I guess that's 359 00:29:17.599 --> 00:29:21.640 brilliant. And you know what, You're more than willing to be misunderstood, 360 00:29:21.640 --> 00:29:25.759 aren't you. Yeah, And if you don't like what I'm sharing, or 361 00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:30.000 if you think it's ill intent, or whatever the case may be, it's 362 00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:33.920 a you problem. This one. This one was never for you, Okay. 363 00:29:36.279 --> 00:29:41.519 Yeah. You know when when you're speaking and I watch you kind of 364 00:29:41.559 --> 00:29:44.880 like muwing something around in your head before you say what's going to come out? 365 00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:49.359 I am to the point where you've got me conditioned to expect nothing but 366 00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:55.720 empowerment. It's a wonderful trait that you have and a wonderful skill. And 367 00:29:56.640 --> 00:30:00.720 I appreciate being around you. I appreciate sharing your space in conversation. I 368 00:30:00.799 --> 00:30:06.160 will appreciate working with you in the future if we pull that off. But 369 00:30:06.240 --> 00:30:08.559 in the meantime, I've got a question for you. Do you have any 370 00:30:08.640 --> 00:30:15.559 questions for me? I don't know. I wasn't prepared for that to be 371 00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:19.200 the one asking the questions. Yeah, I like to give a zinger last 372 00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:25.200 before everybody leaves, but everyone gets asked that. I don't think I do 373 00:30:25.319 --> 00:30:30.400 at the moment very good. So anything else that you'd like to say, 374 00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:33.599 either about the experience experience, what you have had to say, what you've 375 00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:37.920 shared, anything you want to do to kind of wrap up. Yeah, 376 00:30:37.960 --> 00:30:42.440 I think it's just important to know that, like, this is your life, 377 00:30:42.599 --> 00:30:45.960 so you get to choose how you live it, and you get to 378 00:30:45.039 --> 00:30:48.160 choose what the outcome of it is, Like you get to choose the path 379 00:30:48.200 --> 00:30:53.599 you're on. And I've discovered through this entire grief and lost journey and process 380 00:30:53.599 --> 00:30:59.039 of finding people, that, like I was always my own biggest darrier. 381 00:30:59.279 --> 00:31:02.720 I was always judging myself more than anyone else was, And I was thinking 382 00:31:02.759 --> 00:31:07.920 about is that person smiling, laughing at me or mocking me? And at 383 00:31:07.960 --> 00:31:11.799 this point, like I said before, that's a you problem. Now if 384 00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:15.799 you have any judgments about me, that's a you problem. And because I 385 00:31:15.880 --> 00:31:21.559 experienced such a significant loss, I kind of get to go on and live 386 00:31:21.640 --> 00:31:26.200 my life. That the worst thing possible happened to me and I'm still here 387 00:31:26.240 --> 00:31:30.440 and I'm alive, So what's the worst that could happen if that person smiling 388 00:31:30.519 --> 00:31:36.039 or laughing is laughing at me. In the grand scheme of things, It's 389 00:31:36.079 --> 00:31:41.720 not that bad. So we just keep moving on excellent, and I think 390 00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:45.160 we will leave the interview right there. But my parting words to all of 391 00:31:45.160 --> 00:31:48.240 you that are listening, and to you too, Sean, is there are 392 00:31:48.319 --> 00:31:53.039 people in your life and in all of your lives at home that would love 393 00:31:53.079 --> 00:31:56.640 to hear from you, and you don't know it and they don't know it. 394 00:31:56.759 --> 00:31:59.799 But if you were to just call them, send them an email, 395 00:32:00.440 --> 00:32:05.200 send them a text, and basically say hey, I really appreciate that you 396 00:32:05.240 --> 00:32:07.519 are here and that you're in my life. My life works because I know 397 00:32:07.599 --> 00:32:13.079 you're out there. Please call me if you ever need anything. Love you. 398 00:32:13.440 --> 00:32:16.440 Bye. So give that a shot and do it at least four or 399 00:32:16.440 --> 00:32:21.319 five people over the next week and see what happens to you personally. I 400 00:32:21.440 --> 00:32:27.680 highly recommend it. So again, here we are simple questions for one hundred 401 00:32:27.759 --> 00:32:35.039 beautiful persons, and Sean Ashley Deneen, thank you so much for your absolute 402 00:32:35.359 --> 00:32:38.680 great answers and for spending time with us all. Thank you for having me 403 00:32:39.640 --> 00:32:45.720 very welcome. Bye for now bye. You've been listening to simple questions for 404 00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:50.720 one hundred people part of the x Audio podcast network. You can find every 405 00:32:50.759 --> 00:32:55.279 episode at xvadio dot com, slash podcasts, the Apple podcast app, Google 406 00:32:55.359 --> 00:33:00.599 Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, and wherever you find podcasts