Hang on, am I the only one that got the email? Because it
looked like I was the only one. Did you all get an email about
April Fools? No? No, no, they're trying to trick. It
was just me? Then are they trying to trick? It was an email
to just me from our vice president Nathan and our president, our regional president
Michael. I'll look it up here in a second, and it's and it
said, hey, tomorrow's April first. Please no stupid stunts or oh no,
that was just sent you to get us. Look, and I didn't
see like any other personality. Okay, stop, raise your hand in this
room, Dave in the other room. Yes, who is famous for stupid
April fools shokes? Are your hand? Oh? Johnny? Johnny, I
did it in the past. That may or may not you may or may
not few, But my response was perfect because I was, oh, yeah,
it could have been a phishing thing. Idiot. Oh you just failed
the IT department. You can reply to an email, you just can't click
on crap? Is that it who took the forty five minute course on email
phishing? I don't read emails seven times, so I don't get I don't
read my email, so I don't know. So here's what I was fot.
He set out uh it said, uh, hey, tomorrow is April
first. Please just a reminder, don't do any stupid things or any stunts
on the air. Thank you so much, Nason and I responded back immediately
and I said, sorry, everything has been set in motion. I couldn't
stop it now even if I wanted to. Oh my, here's the problem.
I thought. Okay, but when people had a sense of humor,
right April, Fool's jokes weren't bad. We did them all the time on
the radio, right, But now people don't have any sense of people don't
have a sense of humor, so those those jokes are now corporate wise.
Is like, well, I will say that I brought it in some delicious
leftover cupcakes from our Easter dinner. You did right out there on the table.
Are they really? Oh yes? Oh no no no no no no
no no no no. Do not go near them, John, don't go
near them? Why not? Yeah? No, absolutely? What day is
it? No, it's the day after Easter. These were left over from
the family dinner. Sure you bet. After you go first, let me
guess the frosting is toothpaste. Now, can't go first, I told about
training Manami Jones one cheat mel Manami, and that's it. So I can't
out of a promise I made about trainer. But you all enjoy these chocolate
cupcakes. They're absolutely to die for. Let's get the engineering emphasis on for
us. He'll he'll do that. Oh yeah, we get Jimmy to do
it. Yeah, he'll do it. I went to Easter vigil for the
first time in my Catholic career. I didn't realize it was a three hour
mass. Oh well, what would you do before that? We went to
a dinner at HAI's right, let me tell you the car it was about
two hours. So, uh so the three hour mass, it was neat
its long. Yeah, what takes three hours? You gotta go outside and
the boy Scouts were already there and they built a big fire and then I
was like, what's the fire for? Then they handed out candles, so
they turned all the lights off in the church and then everyone has to light
a candle. But you do it to where somebody lights one candle and then
it spreads back. Yeah, so it takes We do it on Christmas Eve,
okay, and then everybody walks in with their candle and whatever. It's
just kind of neat. But the problem was they kept the lights down for
an hour and a half of the three hour. Guy, you gotta hold
a candle, No, you blow it out after a little while. But
they kept the lights out even afterwards. And I was like, I'm gonna
fall asleep here, dude, how long was your nap? It's good,
it's very reminiscent of the eclipse, he said, three hours. Here's the
thing. When you nap in those places, you don't really know how long
you were out. You don't know if you like, if you do things
in your sleep, right, Like I tend to wake myself up when I
do that. Do you do that? Do you do that? Yeah,
wake myself up. Probably got you probably got to sleep at me in all
that could be all right. So good Easter for everybody, by the way,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dave, good Easter, yeap, grandkids.
We hid ninety eggs all throughout the arm my lord. We just went
out and uh, we told all the kids that we hid twenty eggs with
money in them in the field behind our house. Yeah, we didn't hide
any eggs, We just watched them. We sued to watch them, look
until the last one tired out and go, here's five bucks. Terrible people,
not terribly, terribly creative. It is spring break for almost every school
at Kentucky, Oldham County, Jefferson County Catholic School, Jefferson County. All
that so traffic was a breeze this moment. Guess it was for all of
the pictures of two people's knees on Facebook. Look at the ocean. Never
understood yet, person that took two hot dogs. Here's my favorite my office
today. You understand that all was back in Ovar. Are like middle fingering
your boat and I don't even hate like those. You're looking for the middle
finger emoji that you can put on that right? Uh? You only you
sent me four pictures this week? Oh no, yes, and one of
them was of your tuna steak. Yes and and delicious. That's what I'm
telling you. I gotta get it. I'm gonna give you the recipe for
it. Man. I never thought about tuna steak being different than the tuna
in the cans. It's shared tunaesame, shared sesame. Okay, I'm gonna
do that, all right. So the eclipse is getting closer you like the
other three pictures. No, I did not. I didn't even bring you
bring up the other three. You gotta admit it looked depressive. You know
why I put the top head on it didn't it look dressy? Admit it?
Okay, Yeah it was creative. Yeah it was creative. This is
one of those times I'm glad I'm not on his photo shirt list. Hey,
with him and his little tucks and hat, he could have went to
a ball emphasis on little boy to a ball. Well, first, let's
get to this. So the story comes out of okay, why over the
weekend, the car that caused the wreck that forced the truck off the second
street was a stalled electric car because it ran out of energy, ran out
of juice. In the middle of the there's old ladies and electric cars.
She runs out of battery power, Like, what are the odds you run
out of that? So she goes but I did have a backup battery to
put on my hazards and I'm like, oh, okay, great. So
she's stalled because the damn electric car ran out of charge. So she gets
hit and gets knocked out. I don't know how how long I'm out.
She goes but I come to and look out the window and the truck is
over the side of the day. She got h you got a car?
The pickup truck guy that was weaving through traffic tower smacked the back of the
electric vehicle. Yeah, and then swerved and swerved into the path of that
eighteen wheeler, causing it to veer and go off the So what's the move
for the eighteen wheeler? Just go ahead and plow into him. I mean,
if you're on a bridge, right the truck, Yes, because you
gotta You've got more masks than they do. The problem with the second Street
bridge is that it's narrow. It i was built in nineteen twenty seven,
so it's smaller than anything else. But that is That's the first thing I
thought. What's the play? Do you just pile into the guy or do
you swerve? Now I'm the guy that doesn't swerve for squirrels. If man,
stupid little squirrelless, that's heartless. Squirrels are people too, Man,
swerve your four thousand pound cars. I have been known to do that.
If there's a girl scout selling Girl Scouts in the corner there and you swerve
because of a squirrel, and you run away over. She shouldn't have been
so close to the road. Yeah, what she shouldn't. She needs to
send her to throw over. Why is she loitering going on people's houses.
Let's get back to excuse me. She said she didn't realize when she swore
too. She did not realize, she said, took her a couple of
minutes to realize that the truck was part of the accident, that you know
she had been involved in that I didn't cause the truck. She didn't know.
She didn't know. It's weird that y'all bring that up, because while
I was coming in this morning, I couldn't help but think after that Semi
goes over the bridge and it's opened like eight hours later, is everything really
all all good? I mean, well, they've got two lanes closed now
and repairing the other two lanes. So I don't live in Indiana saying to
worry about it. So, but if you want to get to the path
of totality, what's funny is is this? You know? So I bring
this up at Easter yesterday, and I'm trying not to political, but I
said, hey, did you know that they was an electric car? And
it spawned forty five minutes of why why electric cars are dumb? If there
wasn't one person who went yeah, but I was like, not one.
So I don't know where that all is going. So okay, so nowhere.
Uh. The Career Journal Marina Johnson Career Journal has an article on eclipse
sickness. Is it real that there's anxiety that the eclipse is coming? Is
that? Could? Could that be a real thing? And I said,
is there anything that doesn't cause anxiety in this country anymore? For what?
For one of us might be anxious? Dave, because it gets dark in
the middle of the day. I was walking through Kroger yesterday and there's like
a little an end cap. His cardboard has got a bunch of cardboard class.
Yeah, but they they look thin. They look like the old three
D glasses you wear. Don't me much. You just need that blocker room.
So am I to believe these thin little paper things will allow you to
look at the instead of like a welding mass. They worked for me last
time. Granted I did have to go by twitch. And while you're saying
that I'm fine, by the way, don't do this. There were emergency
rooms around the country for the last eclipse, people would take SPF whatever sunscreen
on their eyeballs so they could look directly at the sun, or so they
thought of seventy or above. Probably you never understood the pocal hole in the
cardboard so you could see the thing on the ground. I did that in
the third grade one. Okay, but what I don't understand. You look
in a little circle from the pinhole on the ground and then you watch it
kind of go away. It's stupid, but it's it was the way they
came up with people back in the day, back when we were all little
kids, to not look directly at the eclipse but still get to see it.
That's what's the perfect way for our teacher on the clips without actually getting
all off suddenly beginning to feel like I'm getting eclipse anxiety. Yeah yeah,
oh, what day doesn't have total totality? Please come to order, all
right? Well, Indianapolis is on a fantastic role with downtown shooting. They're
trying to pretend to be Louisville as well. Seven children were shot Saturday,
around eleven thirty children, seven children between twelve and seventeen on Saturday night.
They still have no idea what the hell happened? End up seven kids in
the hospital. That's the third weekend in a row for a mass shooting downtown
Indianapolis. Congratulations, guys trying to top Louisville. You're doing a good job
at it. They want to beat us. They don't want to beat us.
They want to beat us. Yes, uh so, we all obviously
for all the kids down there, starting to ask why. Man, at
some point, was it like a park? Where was this? Now?
No, in the Search City circle? Do you know where the big statue
is in the center. I'm sure it happened during a time where nobody should
be down there, Like I don't know, three o'clock in the afternoon on
Sunday. It was eleven thirty at night on a Saturday night. Well,
I'm just saying some other kids they know. Still, yeah, I don't
know. So all right. So Travis and Jason Kelsey's podcast. Right,
So they're doing a tour. They're going to Knippert Stadium. They're charging My
name's Frank Knippert. I'm here to check your own there they are. They're
charging one hundred bucks a ticket and it's sold out. That's because they think
there's a bunch of everyone thinks that she's going to show up, right,
but the Jason's wife will be there, like, oh, man, right,
one hundred bucks for you? Sorry, I disrespect. So people are
paying one hundred dollars to go see Travis and Jason Kelsey's live podcast recording in
the stadium, hoping, right, there's a hundred bucks, Maybe she shows
up exactly, it's gonna be a bunch of girls and all the topics are
going above their head. Now, don't get me wrong, their podcast is
awesome and they are great. I love the two, But man, who's
paying one hundred bucks to watch two guys record a podcast? Oh my gosh,
I'll always have my press credentials to get in. Can they have music
on their podcast? Probably not? Well? Probably did you? Oh and
by the way, my brother in law was like, hey, man,
listen to podcast. It's really weird without the music. Yes, and he
goes please, keep saying what the music is for? Like whatever, just
sort of know what the hell it is? All right, Well, it's
got a better camera, Dave, so he can take pictures of his food
and not just like last night, you have an apple? You have an
apple, Dave? Ye? I have an old iPhone eight. Yeah,
I want stated girl, I had an Adam's Apple. Did you try to
kill yourself with an electric razer the next day? No? She was wonderful
she Whenever I would question it, she would put her finger up against my
lips and she would say, don't think just fuel. People are now just
getting to kill yourself with an electric grazer. She was a very generous love.
That was the core of the problem. Okay, you've seen the new
Apple uh tags? Apple tag? I got one? Oh yeah, yeah,
I haven't seen about heard about people like you put one on your wife.
I put them on my backpack, right. Yeah. So every time
I get separated from my backpack, it'll send me a text message and gay
say, hey, you are separating for your backpack. It's so and so
feet away from you or whatever. I can't think of anything but outside my
dog. I would be interested in tracking wallet. Well, yeah, there's
nothing in it. The credit cards is canceled. You know, because you
love going to the D and V so much to get another license? Oh
why don't you? Well, because I was they moved so fast. Well,
you're right, some people look at you. I'm not stealing his wallet.
Still that God's wall, not steal that. So you got an airtax.
So this air tag. So uh, it's pretty neat stuff. It's
a pretty neat little thing because it's better than just those little plastic they used
to call them squares or pods or something like that. So uh a still
that gos Wald not still that. So you got an airtax. So this
air tag. So uh, it's pretty neat stuff. It's a pretty neat
little thing because it's better than just those little plastic they used to call them
squares or pods or something like that. So uh a myth. In Memphis,
a woman's she air tagged her Bible. Mister, she was a carjacking
victim after someone ran into her car. What a tactic. Uh. Fortunately
three firefighters were nearby who witnessed the whole thing go down. But they help,
so they called police. Okay. Later that night, she received a
notification from her iPhone that the car was nearby. Oh that's how she got
her car back, was the Hello, the air tag in the Bible was
in the car. That's how she found her car. The carjackers had ripped
out the rearview mirror to disable her bluetooth blue Link car finder system. So
they thought they were smart. Ha ha, God was smarter. Wait,
but they can't seem to find the total path of totality. Please engage the
Bluetooth of totality technology technology. They were unaware that Hughes has an air tag
placed in her bible in the car, which is how she knew the car
had eventually been taken to the city impound lot. Somebody told it. I
guess. Unfortunately, the thieves made her only key and it's going to cost
her. This is the thing about keys today. If you have to replace
your key, it's hundreds of dollars. Have you ever gotten into a car
and looked at it and said, how do I start this? Yes?
Oh I know, I have my mom a car. It's it's a it's
like a button. Yeah, well mine's a button. Put your foot on
the gas to break. And then what about the gear shift? Her gear
shift is in the console and it's a knob that you turn from the weirdest
ones And I think they got rid of this model was when you took the
little key whatever fob and you pushed it into the button thing where and the
key went inside your car? What's the word about that and then the car
would start. We had a pretty good system put the Seriously, do any
guys have a relative or somebody's car that you had to drive where they take
the gear shift off the steering column and they make a little circle, a
little knob that's right here on the console. Yeah, it's weird. That's
how Susan is. And my mother in law has like buttons on her desh
like park reverse. Yeah, it's it's just more things to break. Yeah,
it's more things to screw up, because I'm looking at you know,
like, well, hopefully they'll track these thieves and a holes down, yes,
and releasing the air tag in the Bible in Memphis, the old air
tag and the Bible routine. That's right. Well, if you watch The
Price is Right. God, it's been going on for decades, fifty years,
this thing. So if you're in business for fifty years filming I don't
know, five shows, a price is wrong, I guess you got to
have a plan and be prepared for any situation. A recent interview with a
former producer revealed The Price Is Right has a contingency plan for just about anything
when it happens with the contestants including what to do in case a contestant gets
extra excited and wets his or hers pants. What it's called a towel.
Right, it happens. Yes, yes, they get so excited money they
pee themselves. Yes. Oh, here's the contingency they plan they have for
when this happens. Backstage, there's curtains. There's also a blow dryer and
lots of pairs of different sizes of sweatpants. That's where they will dry the
pants for the contest and put them back on. It's only happened one time,
but it was cut out of the final of the show. You know
where I found this story, by the way, People magazine. Seriously,
it was in People. We were backstage once with the Ozzi. Yeah,
oh this is right, and there is a guy now. I don't know
if they did. I don't know if they do it anymore. I just
know that in the nineteen nineties they still do they do. Ozzie is like
a savant, so he can't communicate when he's not on stage, but he
walks on stage. He knows every lyric and sings it to perfection, but
he's incontinent when he comes to He doesn't know. He just himself. So
there's a guy on the side of the stage that has a bucket and his
only job is full of water. And his only job is if Ozzy doesn't
happen every concert, but sometimes Ozzy will just go the bathroom in his pants.
That's a that's a pisser. This guy's job is to run out and
throw the water on Ozzy, so he kind of mixes in so people don't
notice that Ozzy pete himself. Would you rather be bucket man or Michael Jackson's
umbrella holder? The book had been I'd rather hang with Ozzy get out of
a hundred. This is Bob when you push him. Hey, you got
any nieces or nephew? What's your name? Tony? Can I buy you?
No, you cannot buy me. Oh, there's always a price,
Actually there is. I won't there's a number. There's a price. Yeah,
there is. The Franks, the a hose pulled on Easter Easter pranksters.
Yeah, I like these. I might have to incorporate some of these
next year. Hiding beautifully painted eggs that are actually raw. That's good.
Oh, isn't that great? That's not bad? Okay? Are they you're
doing this to kids? Yes, yeah, that's great. Right, look
them get their hopes up, right? Why get your hopes up on Easter
Sunday? Right, exactly, it's not about a good lesson to learn,
right, that's right. Even on Easter there's jerk faces like Dwight winding.
Of course there is I'm three hundred and sixty five days a year, baby.
Okay, oh I did this when yesterday getting kids to hunt for eggs
that you never hid. Okay, go out in that field. There's about
seventy eggs. Some of them have quarters. Someone got five dollar bills.
They just watch the little AHLs run around turning rocks over. It's a hoot.
Some of us are keeping an eye on the smaller kid that's not getting
any eggs, and the bigger kids are knocking them around trying to get eggs.
So you want what you do is you kind of get out there and
even the odds for them, right, because we're looking out for the little
kids. Dwight and the rest of the crowd are hiding rocks painted is,
yes, eggs sometimes dog poop. We like to heckle the ones that can't
find any eggs, right, you guys, suck, you suck. It's
a damn egg. And hey, hey, green pants kid, would you
pee yourself out? Green pants kid? You suck. I guess you're gonna
have to go buy your own candy. And I only got two eggs.
Put all the Easter eggs, this is a good one. Put all the
Easter eggs in high spots where the little Jermy ass fingers can't reach. Jeremy
ass fingers is not in the story. That's a band name though, Jeremy,
Oh it is. Don't let me forget that Jermy fingers. Now you
know what stall I got a lot of band name and it depends how you
say it, Jeremy ass fingers or Jeremy ass fingers. Okays, it takes
on a different meaning. Anybody know the last Jeremy ass fingers. So some
band will be famous twenty years from now they'll be like, how did you
get the band name? It? We would drive into Louke Tilke. We're
going to see Gash, going to go see gaff. It was this morning
show with the three mentally handicapped. Hey fellows, anybody want to guess the
last the last band name before Jeremy ass Fingers. I don't remember. It
was Tony's looking on, I think, oh, what is it? What
is It's like watching a monkey use a tool for the first time. Feet
of a whore. Yeah, here's another one. Take a catberry egg.
Yeah, you split it into really carefully, scoop out the filling. You
refill it with mayonnaise or crystal that always makes sure it's Duke's mayonnaise is the
best manaise in the world, so disgusting. Press it back together. Then
you just take a hot knife, a warm knife, and you go ahead
and reseal the chocolate, re wrap it up and put it in the child's
easter basket. Didn't you get Mike Grosso with something like this? Yeah,
here's here's what I did. I got Mike Grosser, yea our company president.
Here's what I did. I took Oreos and I split him apart,
and I scraped out all the white filling. Then I went up to the
drug store and I thought, what is the grossest toothpaste I could find?
I found one that was uh mint peroxide, had peroxide in it. So
I refilled all the oreoles, put them in the package, and I didn't
tell anybody to eat him. I just set them right next to my desk
where we put donuts and cookies that people could chair from the sales department.
That's irrelevant, that's irrelevant. I just put them on the cab that next
to my desk, and people started and who walks by an oreo right,
not very many people that day, no clearing, our company president, my
direct manager, my program director. Problem was the old man eight several Mike
Grosso comes over, he bites into it, starts talking to me, and
he finishes. He goes, that tasted weird. He puts another one.
Yeah, complain about the taste. And the guy goes through like eight of
these. So about a half hour later, I start talking. He talks
to me. He's flops wedding. Yeah, I mean he was just wasn't
his ass off? He goes, I really don't feel that good. I
said, what's wrong, Mike, I'm kind of sick. So I was
leaving almost killed a former All American basketball players. So on my Facebook I
had posted what I did and somebody said, hey, a ho, you
can kill somebody with perox at. It correct. So then I'll look it
up on the internet and he starts panicking. Yeah, so good thing.
He was the giant and then he starts flop sweating. I start flopsw so
his gross oula is flop sweating, fat Dwyet's flop sweating. So I called
the poison Control Center. How I say, I did this because now I'm
implicated, right, I said, hey, how does it work? And
some aho filled uh oreoles with peroxide toothpaste? Am I any danger? And
she said how much you weigh? I've set up and and she said,
did you eat the entire tube? I said no. She goes, there're
no danger, because I thought, for sure, Oh my gosh, I
killed the guy. If he gets like some kind of peroxide poison, I
guess my only move then would be show up to the funeral and go get
it. Get it what I get it? Lots of pasta, lots of
pasta. Louisville dot com. Have you tried the butternut squash ravioli, dave,
I have not tried that. When Becky has and she loves it.
Oh my gosh, the herb and cheese tort she loves one too. How
about the Italian sausage ravioli that I've had and I love it? Jo,
you want to make your own raveo and that pain. Oh it really is.
It really is. So go to lots of Aposta you won't regret at
thirty seven seventeen election and wrote in the Art of Saint Matthew so much to
choose from, including twenty two different types of breads. Are you guys gonna
need to go to the restaurant anytime soon? Yeah? Get it in now.
I just got a text from Ciman Johnny, Hey, the Eastern cupcakes.
We're delicious, Dwhite, Thanks, Oh boy, you do