Hello from Boise, Idaho. This is Adam Graham and Christmas and Christmas Eve.
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listen today's program and Merry Christmas. Welcome to the Great Detectives of Old Time
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All right, well, our series of Christmas specials comes to a close with
this episode of The Saint. So we skip ahead to December the twenty fourth
of nineteen fifty and the episode Santa Claus Is No Saint. The Adventures of
the Saint starring Vincent Price. The Saint, based on characters created by Leslie
Charteris and known to millions from books, magazines, and motion pictures, The
Robinhood of Modern Crime now comes transcribed to radio, starring Hollywood's brilliant and talented
actor Vincent Price as the Saint. Come in him, mister temple a r
ready in a minute. Hey wait you see my cat? I gave it
a bed for Christmas? Well congratulations. Look, I don't want to rush
you, but if you don't hurry, Christmas Eve's gonna be already Christmas morning.
And what'll all in pots think? Ah? They will be thinking and
yure fortunate. However, all I have to do now is get my whiskers.
Huh there? How do I look, mister Templar. If I didn't
know you was mister Templar, I wouldn't know who you were. M Louis,
don't I look like Santa Claus? This may come as a surprise to
you, mister Temple, Santa Claus is fat. Oh you are not the
fat. Oh well, hand me that cushion from the couch. Huh okay
here, yeah, thank you? Now then how's that now? Say ho
ho ho? What for? Santa Claus has always say ho ho ho oh?
I see, well, anyway, you look like Santa Claus. Hey,
mister Temple, whose ideal Missus winterbottoms? Oh, the name who annoys
tots on Christmas Eve? Missus Winterbottom is a very well known philanthropist, and
every Christmas Eve she collects hundreds of small children and feeds them. Yeah yeah,
who feeds them the rest of the year. Don't be bitter, Louis.
At least I ought to give the little tots a laugh. Yeah yeah,
And I suppose there is something to be said for Missus Winterbottom. I
won't say it now, Oh worry. There's something to be said for Santy
Claus too. He does go around filling stocky. I know, a blonde
shouldn't say that either. No, someone at the door, No, would
you mind? No, it's probably one of them tots. Correction, it's
a top. Twenty years later, I'm already back up thanks, now reach
gents. You know that gun in her hand looks loaded. Now that you
may reach the chandelier. Okay, why not no chandelier? Oh a wise
guy? Huh. If you're going to shoot me, I insist on knowing
your name, Just call me Sally, Sally and your last name? Never
mind, that's how would you like to get plugged in the in the bread
basket? Where? Let's pass lightly over that. I wouldn't like to get
plugged anywhere? And shut up? All right? Where is it right down
the hall? Are you trying to be smart? Not especially so it's going
to be like that. Huh. Likewise, now you listen to me,
fats boiling, you shut up too, I didn't say anything. Well,
shut up anyway, I'm shutting up. What was I saying? You just
finished calling me fats boiling? That's right, that's wrong. I'm not fat
spoiling. Huh. Well it helps keep the conversation looks fat. Are you
going to stop stalling and hand over the stuff or well I have to shoot
since I am not fat boiling, and since I have no stuff to hand
over, I'm afraid you have to shoot, mister Temple. That could be
fatal you keep quiet? Punk? Who's a punk? You're a punk?
It's the temple of a punk where Sally is just a little confused this evening
or not? You shouldn't shut up. I am not falling. You were
just about to shoot me? Well, I know, but ten you blea?
Oh I'm sorry. I can't stand the side of blood. Why don't
you strangle Louis? Don't be unkind It seems to be the doorbell again.
No way, It's very impolite to keep people waiting. But I must have
been followed here, Sally. Look, stop illustrating a point with that gun.
It might go off. I don't care, But then I bleed.
Where can I go? I got hide? Well try the kitchen. Oh,
come on, he in it's open house tonight. Well, well,
my old pal fat, I am not oiling, although I'm beginning to waiver.
Perhaps I am simon the split personality. Who are you, Joe Hudson?
You'll remember your old pal, Hudson Hudson, Well, I must have
you look like a hornet, but your lines aren't as night. Look if
i'm your old pal, why don't I know you? Oh that's easy.
We never met personally? How else can you meet. Ignore that. But
if we haven't met personally or otherwise, how can I be your pal?
Oh? I was just being friendly. Besides, you got something for me.
I have a great little kidder. Ain't your fads any poll? No,
I feel better. I'm a pal too. Look, I wish I
deserved your delighted choice. We'll just let me have the stuff and then I'll
get tough again. What stuff? Am I gonna have trouble with you?
The door behind you is open. Why don't you use it in that way?
Nobody will have any trouble. I'll use it. I'll use it after
what So that's like that? Huh? Ever see one of these before.
I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you. But the answer is yes, I
have good good then you know how it works. It shoots bullets of guys.
Guys who get bullet shot at them have a habit of dying. Really,
and then perhaps you better not shoot that gun me. I won't so
give me so I ain't got well that is I that is, you ain't
got factual basic, I ain't a patient man. Hand the stuff over,
or I don't have any stuff, or you get shot. I'd bled who
cares I do. I hoped you might. However, this could be a
stall, this could be trouble. So if you can't shoot him, why
not? It's against the law. I read it in the papers. It's
against the law. Yeah, yeah, I believe you. Oh so that's
okay. Yeah, but I like doing things against the law. Oh well,
you could go to jail. I already been there, well for shooting
somebody. That they'll hang you or something. If somebody told him, well
I would, it would euh, I would. So maybe i'd better shoot
you first. Well, I wouldn't want to deprive mister templar of the privilege.
Well, fats, that's your last chance. Oh not that phrase.
Also, I still don't know. It looks like I'm gonna break a law.
Hey, who did that? You did? Your dog? I did
not this. Here is a plan, but you won't get away with it,
good guy, mister Hudson. It's the temple who made with the artillery.
He must have been Sally. She's in the kitchen. She can stay
there and she saved our lives. Louis. Yeah, but maybe by now
she's found out she likes to shoot gun. That's hope, not he it
was nice of you to frighten mister Hudson, off, I did you did?
I didn't shoot anybody. No, so glad I've got her yourself cold.
Come up, put around the couch. Oh it's a little late,
but somebody ought to mention. She is not a bad looking dish. You've
mentioned it. M looking for smelling sauce in her bed. No identification.
He's a driver's license. Her name is Sally Walter's address forty nine. Pardon
drive ye, social security card. She's the secretary. That's what I need.
Take it back. If she's coming to better put the bag back.
If we keep the gun now, there's still some bullets in it. No,
we don't want her to know we went through her bag. We're ashamed
of ourselves. We're going to pay her a visit. She ain't home,
but she will be after she leaves here, and then perhaps we can find
out what keeps the home fires burning. Sally was in kind of a hurry
leaving us, so she was. Mister templar, don't look right, Santa
Claus. Chasing nor blunt. I'm not chasing her technicalities will get you no
place. Hey, this must be it forty nine? What is she a
secretary of the Treasury. I suspect this is where she works. Lewis works
over time, huh and probably sleeps in. Come on, I hope that
nobody is speaking, because I'll think Santa Claus is off schedule. I think
perhaps I can manage that the works. Yeah. Ouch, now you look
like an implastic with you ring lily. Okay, you know this is the
type house I gotta feel in Santa Claus. I'll have to use the Serbon
central. Uh. Yes, I'm Simon Templar. You are, I am.
There's nothing I can do about it. Mm mister Temple, all Butler's
are like him. I doubted. I think he's been practicing haw hawe.
Well good night, then, I think not. Would you mind removing your
shoe from the door? I would you might at least have shined it for
who? No one, madam? Oh, but such an interesting looking now
one, Santa Claus, you've lost your whiskers. I haven't there right here
in my pocket. Nai. Actually, my name is Simon Templar, I'm
color. This is Lewis. Hi h I mean hi, he's going to
the peasants type? Did you want to see me? Now that I've seen
you. Yes, welcome in here. Thank you, Madam Humphrey go away,
Yes, Madam Humphrey is such a problem sometimes, shall we nice?
M Yeah, fire in the fireplace, books on the bookselves, port in
that decady, Yes, would you like some? No, thank you.
I just wanted to be sure the accessories were all correct. Someday maybe I'll
find some other wine besides port in the decado. I dream, Simon,
are you the one who found them? It's beginning again? Found what my
jewels? Of course, have there been lost? Simon? They were stolen?
You know that, don't you should? I I've heard of the Saints,
Simon. I didn't know it was also a Santa Claus. Oh,
it's a fleeting impulse. When were you a duel? Stolen this afternoon?
You see, Claude, my husband, that is, bought me them for
Christmas. Santa Claude, louis sorry. We decided to have the party this
afternoon. We thought it'd be nice to have a quiet eve, so we
did. The jewels were in quite a large box, there were quite a
lot of them, and Claude hired of Santa Claus. But before the party
was over, Santa Claus had disappeared, so with the jewels. There must
have been some precaution. Oh, there were several detectives, but the Santa
Claus that he was going out to get some mayor while the party was on.
He never came back, but he didn't have the jewels on him.
The box was locked, and it was too large for the detectives not to
have noticed. I see the name of the man hired to play Santa Claus
was of course Fat Spoiler. And who may you be, Claude? This
is Simon, Templar and Louis. I know neither of them. Snoops,
obviously get rid of them. Claude likes behavior as though he were an emperor.
On occasion, the box wasn't found anywhere in the house. The jewel
box. Now the jewels were in sewing. Naturally, there's none of your
affair I to speak to earlier. You should never have let you in.
I let them in. So now he's going to speak Seville to her.
We'll go quietly, except mister Worth. What is Fat's boiling's address? I
have no idea. Good night, good night, Simon, and I'm sorry,
so am, I I'll show you out. Thank you? Whoa whoa,
whoa, whoa whoa pronounced Carla word. Yeah, what do we doing
now, Santa Claus? We get into your nice clean cab and hey,
wait a minute, Joe, Now we're going to find out what became of
Sally Simon. Well, good evening, Salim. I overheard Fat's address is
seventeen Beale Street. I've got to get right back to the house before anybody
noticed it. Goodbye, an awful short visitor, but long enough. Now
we're gonna visit mister Boyle. I think so. I hope he ain't so
handy with a gun as the rest of his characters. Maybe he may not
be. Now I'm all cheered up, but there's one thing I'm sure he
isn't. What's that fang? Quite a change from the Whit's dump. Now
this is a dump, and mister Boyling would seem to be shy. Mister
Templar, you said something about the one thing he wouldn't be with Fat?
Why because he was called Fats? Not exactly. Maybe I'm worried. Eh
the door was open. Yes, maybe that means our boyd has flown.
Maybe come man, that's going okay. I ain't usually so poetical, but
the lights on. Yes, and the room looks funny, looks like a
hurry hurricane came to stay for dinner and remained for six months. Somebody was
looking for a jewel box, and someone obviously didn't find it. The extent
of the search indicates that nothing was left untouched. It's a funny smell in
this room. You know, a couple of funny smells. Yeah, one's
perfume and the other gun powder. Huh, gun batter. That's why I
ain't been looking behind any pieces of furniture. It really wasn't very far of
the cluing. Huh, he's behind the day bed. Fats, Fats,
Louis. Hein't doing so good. He's dead, and Louis, yeah,
he wasn't fat. Mister Templar, Yes, Louis. We're being followed since
since we got a boiling's place. It's interesting Louis stopped the cab. It'll
make it easier for wherever's following. That's exactly what I want, even on
Christmas Eve. If this shouldn't happen, Now what Now we get out,
don't look behind you, start walking. Here is a nice longly stream.
Everybody else's home hanging up stockings. I wouldn't mind hanging up stockings myself.
I who do you think it is? I think it's our friend Hudson.
Oh, I just lost five pounds. You mean the guy that was chasing
Sally who was all ready to shoot us until she made the explosion? Need
remind her? Oh? You think he wants some money or all life?
Possibly? What kind of an answer is that you hear? Quickly? Here
temp cer Ali is full of garbage cans, also dark. You don't have
to see garbage cans to know they're around, Hudson. Yes, good evening,
Hudson. Don't turn around. I've got a gun on you. I
don't like it. He take mister Hudson's gun away from him? Okay?
Good at it? At him and I'll wait them that you can't shoot me
with my own gun? Why not? That ain't factful? What other gun?
Could I shoot you with your own? Hey? You mean you ain't
got Oh? Mister you are a liar? And on Christmas Eve too?
Hudson? Who hired you to follow Sally and me? It was my own
idea, Louis. Mister Hudson isn't being friendly. He ain't Uh, he
ain't there he don't lose your heads, fellow, We've lost patience with him,
Louis, we have shooting. Louis's beginning to bore me. He's beginning
to I should shoot him. Fatal, fatal. Okay, I don't know
what my wife six kids are going to say. Got a wife and six
kids. Wait a minute, please, Louis, we're being cruel, prolonging
mister Hudson's egg, and he put him out of it. Now, wait
a minute. Who hired you, missus Worth, missus Carlo Worth. You're
quite sure? Strike me that that is? Don't strike me that. Look,
Look she didn't what I shay? Why would I say she did?
You have a point there, But why should she have wanted you to follow
Sally? Well, she had an idea. Her husband and Sally were kind
of, you know, kind of decorating their own little tree together, and
I couldn't put it more tax for her. I see. So, if
you've got enough divorce evidence, missus Worth could hold up her husband for plenty
of alimo. No, no, oh, missus Worth is the baby with
adull. Mister Worth is a very well educated bomb. Indeed, it's interesting,
Louis. Let me have the gun. Yeah, wait, I thought
I told you the truth. I'm sure you did, mister Temple. That's
gratitude, it's necessity. Well, we need him out of the way for
a little while. He's out of the way now, yeah, Now we're
going to find out who else knew that that spoiling was thin. You know,
if we visited it often enough I might even get accustomed to this joint.
You might also start confusing yourself with grant. Good evening, Humphrey.
I'm sorry the family retired for the night and it is late. I know
I wish to retire myself. Hey, Humphrey, you don't look sixty five.
Good night, sir? Are you going to ask us in no?
Why Humphrey? I thought you and I were going to sing Christmas carols together?
Go with me, shut the door away, Okay, I shall complete
all right, but not now. It's the templar. Well, I'd gone
out hitting people over the head, and I couldn't have him warn any when
we're here, why we're going to boggle the joint in a way, and
a kind of description would be searched the place looing oh for what badly enough?
Something that can't be seen or touched? Sounds like a ghost. Yes,
and in a way it is a ghost of a murderer. It's the
night before Christmas, all right, but a creature restoring a couple of creatures.
Plus, we've covered all the rooms on the other landing before. The
bedrooms be here, and therefore this should be someone's bedroom. Let's go in.
We're sleeping. If I can open the door softly enough and look in
right through the window, yes, the dressing room door behind would be the
bedroom proper. Proper is not a way where any position to throw around,
and I'm would have to go in to the dressing room. Come on,
Louis, Okay, wait a minute, inhale, mister Tampla don't usually take
breathing exercises in the middle of the Louis all right, I'm in hail well
white feel dominion a good leaning to love it. But no, then how'd
we go? You didn't care for that? By feel, you didn't tell
me anything. What do you want? Person should tell you who killed fans
and boil another bedroom? We go in naturally, m for a bachelor.
That ain't the words you should have used. I'm beginning to get worried about
this, Supposing somebody screamed yourself together the way. Okay, after all,
like the poet says, strong heart never won fair mate, and you mean
faint heart. All right, So for dinner, I'll eat dog food now,
okay? M hm. The dressing room, well, mister Templar,
Yes, the same perfume we noticed. Oh, don't be frightened, Simon.
What are you doing in here? Louie and I have been testing perfume
in the middle of the night. You're awakening. I'm sorry, I'm even
sorrier about something else. What's that? The perfume you use is very distinctive,
sally A. I supposed to say thanks, no, because the last
place Louis and I noticed it was in Fats Boylan's room, minutes after he'd
been killed. Oh not good, sound you're making all this upward? No,
no, this bottle of perfume will be evidence. But I didn't kill
Boylan. You must be joking about that. I don't think a jury would
find it funny. You knew about boil and stealing the jewels. You must
have helped you. I didn't. But then you found yourself being trailed by
Hudson, who had been hired by Missus worth. You were afraid he'd discovered
the connection between you and Boylan. That's why you came to my apartment.
No, yes, you hoped I'd throw Hudson off, perhaps frightening him.
The meanwhile, you could get to Boil and get the jewels from him.
That isn't true. When you got the Boiling's place, you found him already
dead and the jewels gone. I didn't. It would be much better for
you that way. What do you mean you wouldn't be liable to a first
degree murder charge. But there were detectives here while a party was going on.
Boylan couldn't have stolen the jewels they saw him leave. He didn't have
them. He did have them. He was playing Sandy Clause and he was
a thin man. Sandy Clause is, as Louis pointed out to me earlier
tonight, are fact. Therefore, Boylen entered this house wearing padding underneath his
costume. He left it with a large jewel box in place of the padding.
That's how he did it. Sally, you're smart, hmm. You
found Boyling, you knew his address. Therefore you had hired him in the
first place, and therefore also a jury would believe you'd killed him unless you
tell us who did. All right, I'll tell mister Temple, tell him
to point the gun someplace. Mister Worth, point that gun someplace out I
prefer this direction. We're saying, mister Templar about the jewel The jewels were
insured. Therefore you, mister Worth, arranged to have them stolen. Indeed,
indeed, in that way you could retain the jewels, the insurance money
as well, and not worry very much whether or not your wife divorced you.
Clever Boylan is dead. How true. You had to see to that,
didn't you. Otherwise he might have blackmailed you for the rest of your
life or for whatever money you got out of the entire crooked deal. I
can see two other deaths, yours, your friend, and Sally. You're
going to kill her too, That depends, I should think. Un Sally
Claude, I never knew you intended to kill anyone money to play the engine
quite so strenuously, My dear, you were in on most of it,
but not murder. I'm a very with the Templar's pessimism is justifying. I
shall have to include you. But however, did you get onto her Templar
a perfume. To be precise, this perfume where you cut him in the
eye. I hope this gets in someplace more effective. Mister Temple, is
a trail of unconscious bodies you're leaving behind you tonight. If late end to
end, yes, it would look terrible. Simon. Yes, Kla,
you've been very sweet, even without your whiskers. You've been sort of a
Santa Claus to me, may I with pleasure? Well, I never knew
Santa Claus good kiss like that. Santa Claus is no saint. Yes,
Oh, hello, Louis, mister Templar, you better put on your whiskers.
You've forgotten all about Missus Winterbottom. Missus. Oh well, the hour
has passed midnight. The tats have undoubtedly tattered off to bed by now,
Louis, you may tell missus Winterby no that the Saint ain't no Santa Claus.
You have been listening to another transcribed adventure of the Saint, the robin
Hood of modern crime. Ah, here is our star Vincent Price. Ladies
and gentlemen, all of us who live in the United States are aware of
the spiritual values of American life. Our factories and machines and luxuries. But
there is another side to American life, a side made up of spiritual values.
Our country was founded upon faith in God. In the Declaration of Independence,
it states that men were endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights.
Thus, religious faith is part of the very foundation of American democracy, and
one of our most precious national heritages is freedom of worship. By exercising this
freedom, you and your families can enjoy the spiritual pleasures that come with church
or synagogue attendants. Moreover, your religious leaders stand ready to give you their
help whether you need personal or family guidance. And if you suffer the loneliness
natural to a newcomer to this country, the churches of your faith will welcome
you. We all know that without spiritual values, the other advantages of American
life have little meaning. Without faith, the family and the community become unstable.
Without faith, the individual denyse himself the peace and guidance of religion.
The doors of your churches and synagogues are open to you. The freedom to
worship as you please is yours, and so America's religious organizations invite you to
find yourself through faith and to come to church this week, and may I
wish you all a wonderful Christmas and for the world peace in all the years
to come. This is Vincent Price inviting you to join us again next week
at this same time for another exciting adventure of the Saint. Good Night.
This Adventure of the Saint was written by Lewis Willis. Cast included Mary Shipp
as Sally and Betty lou Gerson as Carla. High Everbach was Hudson Ted Osborne
Claude. The butler, Stanley Ferrar Louis is played by Larry Dodkin. The
Saint, based on characters created by Leslie Charteris, is a James L.
Sethier production and is directed by Helen Mack. Vincent Price is soon to be
seen co starring in RKO's production of His Kind of Woman. All you Saint
fans will be glad to know that the Saint comic books are on sale at
all news stands. You're announcer Don Stanley. Three Chimes mean Good Times on
NBC For your Christmas Eve listening pleasure, There's another broadcast of NBC Sunday hour
and a half extravaganza, The Big Show. There's a whole Christmas stocking full
of stars including Tallula, Jimmy Duranty, Edwyn, Charles Boyer, Robert Merrill,
and many more. Tonight also means your weekly visit with the Harris family
on the Phil Harris Alice Fay Show. Be sure to hear this special Christmas
program later today on NBC Happy Halls. Chriss, welcome back a Dason episode.
And I love the character of Louis. I always tend to think that
the Saint having a recurring Cabby sidekickd have been inspired by the adventures of Frank
Race and Mark Donovan, but Louie is not quite in the Mark Donovan class.
All right, Well on to some listener comments and feedback, and just
have a comment from Michael. Still love Vincent on the one episode where he
hit the brakes and put the bad guy through the windshield, and I think
that references back to the peculiar payoff. And it is probably a bit of
an oddity in detective fiction that the hero has been captured in cars and in
a position where they really could do some damage, rarely do so. There
may have been other instances, think in one of the Carter Brown mysteries something
like that. Happened also an episode of The Abbots, and then that episode
of The Saint. But most of the time when they're ordered to drive somewhere
or they're in the passenger seat, just here. A few minutes later they
arrived. Of course, it's a very scary situation, and there's the possibility
that you could come out of the whole thing. Dad, So I can
understand a little bit hesitation to do it, but I still expect it to
happen more. But at any rate that I'll do it for today. I
hope you've enjoyed all these special Christmas episodes we brought you over the last five
days. They've certainly been fun to listen to. Tomorrow we return with Crime
and Peter Chambers, and then next Monday join us back here for The Saint.
In the meantime, send your comments to Box thirteen at Great Detectives dot
net, follow us on Twitter, Radio Detectives, and become one of our
friends on Facebook, Facebook dot com. Slash Radio Detectives from Boise, Idaho.
This is your host, Adam Grahamson and off