Hey guys, welcome, Welcome back to the podcast where your friends Maddie and
Lauren and we are back for another episode. You'll notice this week we are
not recording video. We have a little change of our situation over here.
So Lauren, can you explain why what's going on in your life that has
affected the podcast? Clearly? Wow, way a place blame. I mean,
it's not my fault, that's for sure. Yeah, Okay, Basically,
last semester, as you know, if you've been listening, I started
at USC, and Maddie and I did keep recording the podcast while I was
at school, and we recorded together in person. If you've been listening,
you will know that I started at USC last semester, and Maddie and I
did keep doing the podcast all last semester, and we recorded together in person.
But the only way we were able to do that was because I would
come home like every other weekend, and USC isn't too far from our house
here, but is a bit of a track. And basically this semester,
or I guess this year, we are going to try to do audio only
so that we are able to record remotely and I don't have to come home
every weekend, So that is why we are not doing video. I think
this will ultimately make our lives a lot easier and make it so we are
able to continue doing the podcast. And it's not like a big undertaking for
us because we do love podcasting. It just with a little bit difficult last
semester. So anyway, that's the reason for the change. I hope that
you guys can forgive me. Yeah, but we might need to do a
special video episode next week because it's my birthday. Yes, so yeah,
I don't know if I'll have any birthday memorabilia, like you know. I
think I had a cowboy hat last year. Oh that's a thing. I'm
not sure. Maybe I'll have a sash cowboy hat something like that, but
I think yeah, we'll do a special episode next week that will be the
last one, and then from there on out we will be recording audio only,
which you can find on Apple Podcasts, Spotify. If you're listening or
watching on YouTube right now, I would suggest you go and subscribe on either
of those platforms. This is this is audio. I would be watching this
on YouTube, all right. Well, I guess I'll just have to repeat
this message next week on our final video episode. Never mind, but I'll
tell your friends, call your friends at them know that we're switching to audio
only. Great. Yeah, this podcast has really been a journey. We've
really let's just give a little recap for our members, members of our community,
because you know what, Lauren, I realized it's been five years.
What, No, it's been four years. I feel like we should do
something big for five years. Yeah, next year will be five years.
It's like July first. I think we watched the first one. Yeah,
so this summer we missed it, but it was four years in July.
Which is kind of crazy because when I sold Lauren on this idea of having
a podcast, I told her that we're going to do it for the summer,
like two months of her vacation, because she was not a podcast listener
and she didn't really understand what it was or believe that we needed one.
But I feel like I've gotten you fully on board since then, and I
mean, you know, I hate to say that I told you so,
but really, everyone and their mom has a podcast. Now. I was
about four years or like three years ahead of the curve. So yeah,
you can just say that I'm a trend setter. I listened to like two
podcasts, and I'm like, we should do this, you know, and
it worked out. I guess we're still doing it four years later. I
feel like most podcasts, or like there's a statistic that most podcasts don't make
it to ten episodes or something really yeah, like eighty percent. But that
doesn't mean advise me, because I've seen a lot of podcasts come and go
over the past few years, and we have somehow kept up with it.
But then I was thinking about it, and I think part of it is
probably because we're sisters, because I don't know which of my friends I would
start a podcast with. I was talking about this with Ruby and Audio yesterday,
and I think they are some of my only friends who I could start
a podcast with, because otherwise it's like you don't know if you're going to
be as close with someone in five years, or like if that's gonna be
someone you're gonna be able to hang out with once a week to record together,
right, and it would change your relationship too, So I think that's
something to consider. But obviously, since we're sisters, we are kind of
in it for the long run. Yeah, And if it was a solo
thing. I think I'd have to be making money from it, like a
significant amount of money for it to make sense or else Eventually you'd be like,
Okay, there's other things that I could be spending my solo time on
fair like work related. So yeah, I think it's a special arrangement and
it has worked. We've had a name change where with the studio or not
with the studio. You know. Thanks ever, really we've gotten everywhere with
this podcast. But if you're listening from the beginning, thanks for listening.
I was trying to say, like, you can comment on our re Instagram
posts or something, but we don't really post on Instagram, so just we'll
say thank you. I guess that's all, thank you for listening. I
wonder if there is anyone who's stuck our own since like the first episode.
I know that's I was hoping that they would leave a comment and say that,
but we don't post on Instagram. Maybe a little review that would be
really cute, and we never we never encourage people to review anymore, and
I think we should. Okay, so it's a good way to you've been
here since twenty nineteen July, leave a review, leave your Instagram user name.
Maybe we can do something. Let's announce that next week because we have
to think about what we would do, but yeah, I think that we
could do maybe like a small giveaway or something, or send you a Starbucks
card or I don't know, to figure something out, but we'll announce it
next week. It'll be my gift to you for my birthday and also for
your support to us. So yeah, that is that. What else has
been going on? We've recorded. It's been like a week since we've recorded,
so we're pretty up to date, but any last minute updates. Lauren
life has been pretty slow, mostly just worked this week. Earlier this week,
John actually had a show where he was opening for someone, so Mattie
and I went to go support and that was fun. I feel like I
never see him perform anymore. Like when I was younger and I was in
middle school and school wasn't very serious, I was able to take a lot
of time off school to go on tour with him. And I've seen some
people ask if I'm gonna be going to Asia with him, and I am
unfortunately not, because now school is so much more difficult to miss. But
it was nice to see him perform live again for the first time in a
while. Other than that, I haven't been up to anything too exciting,
just reconnecting some friends. My friend Anna was in town for a few days,
so I saw her, which was nice. And actually after we record
today Ruby and Nattie are coming over and we are going to see Oppenheimer,
which I think the two of us were talking about like two weeks ago and
I was like, oh, I want to see it. So finally getting
around to it and I'm excited. Maybe i'll give you my thoughts next week.
Yeah, I've heard it's long but good. Some people said it's boring.
Just depends on what you're interested in, but hopefully it's good. I
really want to see that. Also, it's just a three hour movie,
so you have to find the right time to go, because if you go
too late, then you'll be up to like one in the morning, because
a lot of the shows are at like nine thirty. But anyway, I
think that that will be great. My life has been pretty boring as well.
I think that the weeks are flying by, like I can't believe it's
the end of summer. This is your next week, is your last week
before you go back to school. Which is just crazy. My birthday is
next Sunday, then Lauren goes to school Monday. Our parents are coming for
the weekend. We don't have any really big plans. I am unfortunately turning
twenty seven, and no one really cares about your birthday when you're twenty seven.
I'm also not a huge birthday person, so I just don't And I'm
also not with my closest friends. And I was trying to organize some sort
of a dinner because our parents are going to be here. So I was
like, We'll do a family dinner and then I'll invite my close friends like
my friend Pia and her husband, who our parents are close with, a
couple other friends that are super close, and my parents have met, but
everyone's away, so I'm like, Okay, well we'll just do a family
dinner and how that be that? Yes, I think afterward we're all putting
on going out together, which will be fun. Yeah, Darien and John
said said whether they're coming. I'm not sure if I've invited them yet.
Oh. I didn't invite Darien actually, but actual, yeah, I'm sure
he'll be interested in that. Oh, I'm sure. So that'll sounds fun.
I think that that's a good little summer end of summer party, end
of summer celebration, back to school for Lauren, but for us it's still
like a transition period. Obviously, summers it's easier to make excuses to like
do stuff during the week, and I don't know, it's just summer.
It seems like it's less serious than the rest of the year than Once September
rules around, we're like, all right, back to focus mode. Very
true. All the birthday festivities are happening in the nineteenth and then on Mattie's
actual birthday twentieth, I am moving into my hotel room. M how exciting.
Yeah, it should be super fun. If you didn't listen to last
week's episode, I think I am moving in a hotel for a few weeks
because my apartment is currently under construction. So yeah, Mom's like, maybe
we should go to Nobu on Sunday. I'm like, I think Lauren has
to move into her room room. I have to check in, yeah,
so she's not unavailable. That's it for the life update on my end.
Haven't been doing much. Went to the concert I think it was Tuesday.
Otherwise, just the normal things work. I don't even know work and nothing
else. Yeah, I feel like at least you have some friends here,
which is nice. Yeah, we went out Monday, which kind of disturbed
the flow of the week, and then we had John Show Tuesday. Other
than that, yeah, my friends kind of just everyone wants to do something
in the evening. But usually it's not like going out, which is nice.
It's like movie or I don't know. I'm trying to propose more wholesome
fun like we'd discussed in think last week, like roller skating, or I
want to go to the beach for like a beach picnic dinner at one time,
Like I don't know, things that you always mean to do but you
don't actually get around to doing it. That's what I want to do.
I want to go horseback riding that sort of thing. I'm just going to
book that for myself, honestly, do it that in ballet, you've been
talking about doing those two things forever. Well, those are childhood activities,
and I think when you're an adult, you look back and the things that
you want to do or the things that you did when you're a kid or
enjoyed when you're a kid, and if somehow you could incorporate your interests into
your career. That's even better, like your childhood passions or whatever. Well,
we're on a long tangent. Let's get into this episode, which is,
wait, what are we talking about today? Growth? If we're talking
about periods of growth in our life, and I also wanted to talk about
like establishing a firm what's the word that? Sense of self? But what
is the identities? No, that's a sense of self. Yeah, I
already said that. Yeah, but the word I was looking for is strong,
not firm. I don't know. Anyway, That's what we will be
discussing today, which honestly, I feel like kind of relates to what we
were just saying about, like getting back into the things you enjoyed when you
were younger. Yeah, I don't know. I think even as you grow,
it can still be nice to like revisit some old things that you used
to get joy out of, and you might realize that even though you've grown
and change a lot, those are still things you can enjoy as an adult.
Yeah. I think the issue with growing up is you kind of become
less of yourself. Like when you're a kid, you're way more of yourself.
I feel like we've talked about this, but like you are who you
are and you don't really care. But then as you get older, you
become less of yourself because you're socialized and you have the influence of other people
that rub off on you and also make you feel like you need to fit
into a certain box. And then when people get out of that stage,
I would say like mid to late twenties, but people have told me like
your thirties is when you stop caring. Then you do the things that you
enjoyed when you are a kid, and you feel like this is my personality
and if you don't like it, then you're not for me, rather than
being like I want everyone to like me. So I guess you come to
a point where you have a strong sense of self and you just realize that
everyone should have a strong sense of self and if your personality doesn't align,
you don't have to change yourself. You just find people that like you for
you. I definitely see that in our parents, Like I feel like I've
had this conversation with Mom before because she really doesn't seem to care what other
people think of her, and I think that that is really admirable, Like
I would love to get to that point. But I don't know if if
you just have to wait until you're in your thirties or whatever point that is
in your life where you just decide that you want to live for yourself and
you don't care what other people think of you, I don't know. I
think it's not necessarily something that just happens, because I've seen parents who are
not like that. That is true too, Like a lot of adults are
still caught up. I remember when I worked at our dad's office. I
was young, I was like eighteen, but these people were in there,
like late twenties, early thirties working there, and I would listen to their
conversations because we're all in cubicles, and they would be literally talking about the
things that my friends were talking about, Like some of them were mean,
they were gossiping. I'm like, what is going on? Like are you
kidding me? People have the same conversations that my high school friends have when
they're thirty, Like it was just like different problems, but the like trying
to get people to like you or having issues with girls, like all of
that was the same, right, Like the mean girl in the office,
Like it was honestly crazy to realize. So I don't think it necessarily happens
with time, but were aquires a level of confidence, which generally you do
acquire as you get older. And I think it also comes with knowing yourself,
and you know yourself the more time you spend on the planet. You
know, the weird thing is I feel like I used to know myself better.
Well, I think it happens. It's like a cycle. You know
yourself when you're young because you don't really care, like people aren't mean in
the same way. And then when you're in middle in high school, you
kind of lose yourself. You get caught up with the crowd. You don't
know your own sense of style, your own personality, really what's important to
you. And then when you get older you come back around, you start
to explore those interests again you don't really care if people think it's weird.
I think we could even apply this to our social media journey. Like I'm
at a point now where I'm like, I literally don't care I'll post anything,
but like five years ago even less. I think it was like twenty
twenty when we had that manager, she was like, you should be posting
a talking video every day and we're like, no, not happening, never
posting a talking video on our instagrams. Yeah, like my friends are going
to see this. Yeah, but now I'm just like who cares? Like,
if you don't like it, you should unfollow me. Ye, it's
a journey for sure. Yeah. I don't know. I think I just
I feel like when I was like from when I was born to when I
was like twelve, I felt like I really knew myself m And I don't
know if that's super normal, Like I don't think I was really that conscious
of it, But I don't know. I think something happened, and I
guess it was in like middle high school, I think especially high school,
and I got to the point where I was like, I don't know if
I know myself as well as I used to, which is kind of a
scary feeling. Have you gone through that. I remember in high school feeling
like I didn't know myself. I remember distinctly when I was applying to university
and I didn't know what to do, like what to study in school.
I'm like, I feel like I should understand my interests better, or like
understand what I want to do with my life better than I do. Like
I literally had no idea, and that's a very common thing, I know,
but yeah, I definitely felt that way. I'm not sure if I
ever really knew myself. I don't remember me being younger and feeling like any
myself, but i'd remember in high school feeling like I don't know myself.
Yeah, I definitely relate to that. I remember thinking I don't have any
passions, like I still don't know if I'm a very passionate person. I
like what I'm studying, and I feel like I would be happy with a
career in the industry that I plan to go into, But I'm like,
am I passionate about it? I don't know, is anyone passionate about anything?
Like what does that actually mean? What does that feel like? I
don't know for me since I've had work experience. Now, I'm passionate about
like being independent, so I enjoy what I'm doing, but I think it
could be any industry. I just enjoy like being my own boss and having
flexibility. Like I think that I would feel unfulfilled with a life where I
was told what to do all the time and like it was just very draining
and I was exhausted all the time, and I know that that's how so
many people feel. So that's why I feel like at this point, I'm
passionate about what I'm doing because I get there's so many benefits of working for
yourself. Obviously there's pros and cons to every job or situation, but yeah,
I've found and I think you're the same, Like if you're an independent
person, I found that I'm passionate about applying that independence into other areas of
my life and like making my own path and my own rules for myself.
So in a career sense, yeah, working for myself that makes sense to
me. I guess I always just thought that people were passionate about a certain
area of like or like a certain career and then they would go into that.
But I'm kind of I don't know. I'd like take everything I do
very seriously, So I think that's why it's difficult for me, because I'm
like, I know, I would try really harding care a lot about whatever
I was doing, regardless of what it is. Yeah, at this point
in my life, I think that I could start a skincare brand. I
could start any D two C like direct consumer brand, let's not use some
jargon here. I couldn't hear in the marketing like no one asks questions,
but no one knows who you're talking about, Like TF, what is that
direct a consumer? Meaning like you sell on a website to a person.
I could start any brand and I would be passionate about it. It's not
the brand or it's not the niche. It's the brand building and like all
the things that go into that, and also being your own boss. Major
thing for me because, like I said, I did the nine to five
grind. I graduated from school early and worked at my dad's office and commuted
into the city, got there when it was left when it was dark,
worked out at like seven pm in the gym with like all the other people
that work nine to five, and it just was a very exhausting lifestyle.
And I was like, I really hope that I can do something different than
this. Fair I feel like we've gotten off track again. I don't know
this did relate to growth at some point, but I feel like we need
to. I think we're talking about sense of self at the moment which you
said you felt you don't feel like you know yourself, and I said,
yeah, I don't think that anyone really feels like they know themselves. But
as you get older, you start to care less about what people think of
you, so it allows you to really develop your own independence. So that's
how we started talking about this. But let's talk about phases or periods of
growth that we've gone through, like major growth turning points that have changed your
personality or your identity or things like that. And yeah, like how it's
firstly helped you develop who you are, your sense of self. And also
I think that when you look back at those things, you can see how
they've altered the course of your life, because those are like major points where
decisions that you make and things that you do change how the rest of your
life turns out. Agreed, I think it can be hard in the moment
to recognize that you are changing. I think there are things that you can
look out for, like indications that you might be changing as a person,
like if you feel like you aren't meshing well with your friends that you've been
friends with for a while anymore, or like things that used to fit just
don't work for you. I think that's pretty good indication. But when I
think of these periods of growth, in my life. I don't think I
realized that they were periods of growth at the time, so especially because you're
still young. So if these things happen in your thirteen or fourteen or even
younger, like I think things like that have happened to you at these young
ages, you don't really realize because you're not an introspective person yet because you're
a kid. So let's talk about different periods of life and whether you feel
like you've experienced any growth at those times. I'm starting with elementary school,
not personally. I wrote down these kind of big changes, and the first
time for me was actually middle school. So my life was very normal until
honestly it was honest like, it was pretty normal the whole time. But
the first big change that I went through, or like thing that shaped me,
I wasn't even a big change, but was in middle school. Okay,
well, I will talk about your life was a little different than mine.
Yeah, in the middle of grade five, I moved to the US,
and I don't really remember that transition very well, but I can imagine
that that would have been my first big period of growth in my life because
I was pretty much leaving everything I had known and everyone I had known,
Like I had gone to the same school since I was in grade one or
maybe even before that, so I had been surrounded by the same people,
people who come from the same backgrounds. And then we moved when I was
in the middle of grade five, and suddenly I had to make all new
friends. I was going to a new school, and I think, well,
honestly, the neighborhood that we moved to was Beverly Hills, which was
kind of similar to where we grew up in a lot of ways, but
still new people, new experiences. La is very different than Toronto is,
So I don't know. I think all of those experiences combined to probably change
who I was a little bit as a person for sure. Plus you left
your school in the middle of the year, you were the new kid for
the first time. And I think I like a conclusion that I drew from
all of my big changes was that it all comes from uncomfortable moments, Like
you don't really change in comfort, so that was like the first time that
you were probably uncomfortable for a sustained period of time, like anytime you go
to a new school, like you change schools a lot. The first couple
of weeks are uncomfortable because you're the new kid and you don't know anyone.
And when you're young too, it's just different, like maybe you're less confident
or whatever it is. So having like change of country, change of school,
all new things for you in that time period, I'm sure it was
very uncomfortable, but like I said, from the discomfort comes from comes change.
Yes, for me, the first period that I remember being not transformational,
but I think it shaped who I am was at the school that we
went to. That school at Lauren left in grade five. It was an
all girls school and we did grade seven, eight nine in two years,
and all my friends I remember feeling like they were very smart, like smarter
than me, Like I was always competing with them for grades or like whoever
would get the best grade would be like it was impressive at that school.
And also doing three grades in two years, the pace was so fast.
So I think that that just it gave me like a level of discipline,
because if I think about how our parents were, I don't think that until
that point they had really drilled discipline into us that much. Like I can't
really remember, but it's hard when you're so young too, It's like,
how are you going to tell you're a ten year old that they need to
be working harder. Yeah, but that the school environment surrounded with the pace,
and also the fact that my friends were really smart, it just taught
me a lot of discipline and it was cool to be smart. So I
from that point on, I kind of always liked school actually, but I
really like school after that, or like, I enjoyed the competition and aspect
of it. It was very intense, for sure, but yeah, I
feel like that environment really did shape me and like the path that I wanted
to follow. I remember my friend we were like in grade seven, so
thirteen years old, and my mom or we would ask like, oh,
what do you want to do when you're older, and she's like, I
want to be a CFO. I'm like, what is a CFO? She
probably like I doubt she knew what a CFO was, but it was just
that was what people would talk about, and I'm like, oh my god,
I have to be a CFO. Like this was drilled into our brain.
We're thirteen. Yeah, that is very strange, and I feel like
it is just not not the typical experience like at most schools. It's not
cool to be to have the highest average, you know for sure. So
then how did that change when you then switched schools. Well, then I
went to a co ed school for the first time when I was in grade
ten, so that actually pretty old, not actually old, but like in
the scheme of school, I was almost finished, and I remember saying to
my dance friends, Oh, my odd, school is so fun because it's
no longer school focused. It's now social focused. And I think that that
obviously different, like good in a different way. But I think it was
good because you can't just be focused on school and like miss out on the
social aspect. And I think having boys there also made me more balanced.
Like if you went to an all girls school your whole life, I think
you do miss some of the social aspect. Also because I danced with all
girls, like, I never was around boys, right, I had three
sisters, didn't really know any guys, Like I would have been a different
person if I didn't switch schools. So it's happy that I did that.
And I had those experiences where I was like communicating with guys, learning how
to go to school with them, Like it's just totally different. So yeah,
that was a second major life experience that shape me. Also that school,
how do I explain this? There were parties and like, I guess
it's yeah, more social focused, like way more normal. Yeah, but
I think that academics are still focused at that school, like, well it's
not cool. Well I don't know. I would say that school is still
cool to be smart, like people want to have a high average, you
know, and almost everyone wants to and I don't think that's really the norm.
No, not, it's not like a public high school. I also
went to public high school. I didn't include that on my list because it
wasn't very transformational for me, but definitely very different, totally different environment and
like Vibe, yeah that was her last year of high school, she experienced
that for a few months. But yeah, I don't know. I think
our school or where you went to high school was similar to the middle school
and a lot of ways. But yeah, definitely way more of a social
focus. And that's also how I ended up at that school because after I
switched schools in grade five, I switched schools in grade six, in grade
seven and grade eight and what about grade nine, I stayed at the same
school for grade eight and nine. And then switched for grade ten. Ten,
Right, so I went to so many different schools and met so many
different people, and I don't know, I never really minded. I guess
I just don't really care too much about change. Even now when people are
like, oh, how do you feel about this big change in your life,
I'm like, Oh, I don't really care. Like I'm sure it'll
be fine. That probably comes from all of those changes, Like I just
it just became not a big deal in my mind. So I don't know
that that was super transformative either. But I think that I definitely met people
who were different for me in a lot of ways, even more so than
I did moving from Kin to the US when I was in grade five.
Like I the school that I went to four grade seven was it was basically
just a lot of kids who didn't who couldn't go to a regular school for
whatever reason. So the reason kind of differed, but a lot of people
had either like mental or physical health issues, and so obviously that was a
new experience like making friends there, and I just like learned a lot about
the world. And I think, like I was still so young then,
so I didn't even really understand it, but that obviously opened my mind new
things. And then when I changed schools for grade eight, I switched to
school that was full of athletes and I was non an athlete, so and
like ninety five percent boys maybe more. I was looking at my grade eight
class picture and it was me and one other girl. Yeah, in a
class of thirty. Probably it was very strange, but that's so funny.
Yeah, I guess I would consider that a period of growth as well.
I made a lot of older friends. I think I became very grateful for
the female friendships I made it that school because there were so few of us
that we really connected. And now I think if I went to school with
a lot of boys, it wouldn't be as weird of an experience for me.
But like, the guys and girls at school just didn't mash, so
all the girls became really close. So funny. Yeah, I'm still friends
with some of those girls today, So just funny how that works out.
And then yeah, in grade ten, I switched to the high school that
Madison also went to, the one that was a bit more social, and
I think then I was just looking for a more normal experience and also that
social aspect that I felt like I had been missing it all of the other
slightly unconventional schools. Yeah, I think since you guys changed so often,
and since you are with people that were not the same as you in a
lot of ways, you like you missed out on good friendships. Obviously,
you have a couple, like a couple of friends that you still keep in
contact with, but it's not the same as when you go to a school.
A lot of people actually go to the same elementary school and they,
like, you go to high school with the same people that you went to
elementary school with. So you've been friends with these people for like ten plus
years, like up to fourteen years by the time you graduate high school.
So there are pros and cons like there are of every situation. But I
think you're right, like changing a lot of change is beneficial to you because
now you're able to deal with change and it's not a big deal, doesn't
shake you. But yeah, maybe, I don't know if you feel like
you missed out socially. Luckily, you still had a couple of years like
normal social experience where you were with the same group for more than a year
at a time. But that's the downside of changing school. So often for
sure. And another thing is that I'm a pretty private person, and I
think I was more private when I was younger. So, like you said,
when you experienced a big change, you tend to be uncomfortable. I
think the way I responded to that was by like not really opening up to
people at first. So I think about all the schools I went to,
and I'm like, I never really got comfortable at any of them until the
high school that I graduated from. And I remember showing up there in grade
ten and just feeling like I didn't really understand how things worked, and I
felt like quite uncomfortable. I would say I showed up for the first day
of classes with a gym bag full of textbooks I definitely did not fit in.
I don't know, I just thought I might need them on the first
day. The thing is, though, like nobody actually cares. No.
I have talked to people since then, they remember it, for I think,
yeah, four years later, now it's just kind of funny, like
and now I really don't care. But just to think of experience like experiences
like that, I don't know. I just realized how uncomfortable I was at
first, and how long it took me to get comfortable in those different places.
But I think by the time I graduated, I was really comfortable at
that school and with those people. But then I took some time off before
starting university, so I took a semester where I was just here in La
Maddie and I lived together, and I feel like that was a bit of
a period of growth for me, because I think a lot of growth also
comes from not being with other people. Like I think that when you are
alone and you have time to look inward, m I wrote that down too,
Yeah, you to really realize who you are. Yeah, Like it's
like who are you when you are not trying to fit in with other people,
when other people are influencing you. I think that is when you are
really yourself. Yeah, well it's the time, really, the only time
where you have to think, Like you don't really think about anything during the
day, if you're not like sitting down quietly because even like now people watch
videos and like distract themselves, listen to a podcast, like never take time
to be quiet. But in the quiet moments, that's when you come up
with ideas. You think about who you are, like the actual thought like
important thoughts that you know, most people don't even ever get to that point
where they like assess who they are let themselves really think deeply. I think
it's so funny that people talk about shower thoughts. Yeah, like just the
most amazing things come to me in the shower. It's like, yes,
because you put your phone down for fifteen minutes and you were forced to sit
with your thoughts. It's great things you will come out of that. But
you could also just journal for fifteen minutes or just sit there and not go
on your phone and just think. Well, that's why meditation has become so
popular, I think because I don't think there's any real magic to it.
Like it doesn't matter what you listen to or what meditation you do. It's
just a time to think quietly and you actually have good ideas and good thoughts
and you like process things. Same with journaling. It allows you to process
things that you couldn't do when you are busy and on your phone and running
around like it's quiet time so super important. We can talk a little bit
more about that in a second when we talk about sense of self. I
just want to say the last major transitional period for me was moving to La
I think it's a major uncomfortable thing. I remember when I first moved here,
I was like filling John's orders and I was alone in la just like
literally didn't leave the house, didn't know anyone that's familiar, not leaving the
house. But I was like, oh, I hope one day I feel
comfortable here, you know. And after a couple of years, I do
definitely feel like this is where I live now. And I think that that
was a hard process to a certain extent, but it also has been a
major transitional period and I'm so much happier than if I stayed in a comfortable
place where I knew everyone and knew everything, like Toronto. Is that for
me? So yeah, I'm happy that I made that decision. Definitely a
major period of change, and that was like the last period of growth.
I would say, well, I guess I'm in it now. I still
have only lived here for two years, almost two years, So yeah,
let's talk a little bit more about developing your sense of self and like things
that we would suggest to the audience in order to do so. Yes,
I actually also wanted to talk about this because, as we mentioned, getting
to know yourself is something that kind of comes with age, But do you
think that there's a way to accelerate that process or we kind of touched on
this, but do you think that would come with age if you didn't ever
look inward and try to figure it out. I think it definitely helps,
but it's not going to solve the problem completely. Like, just because you
get older doesn't mean you naturally will become who you are or know yourself better.
I think this is what I thought when I was thinking about this topic.
I wrote down force yourself to be uncomfortable, like when you have a
decision to make. You know, when you're presented with an opportunity and you're
like, should I do this thing that I really don't feel comfortable doing or
should I just say no and stay on my current path. I would do
the uncomfortable thing, Like a couple minutes or a couple of weeks of discomfort
will lead you probably to a much happier place. It's hard to say without
knowing the exact situation, but yeah, I think every situation that I've approach
that has been uncomfortable and happy that I did it and I made it through.
And you also like accomplishing things that you didn't know if you could accomplish,
or like getting through hard times gives you so much confidence and it just
shows you like what you're capable of as a human. Like pushing yourself in
accomplishing things is the best feeling, right. I think taking risks is important
for sure. That's something that I want to work on too, because I'm
like definitely the kind of person who plays it safe. But I agree with
that for sure. Another thing I think is really important is well, I
guess we talked about this too, but just like making time for yourself,
making time to think, to journal. I've seen people talk about doing like
video diaries or audio diaries because sometimes I don't want to write it all down
either, But just finding some way to organize your thoughts and like draw conclusions
and just asking yourself what all of that means about who you are is a
great way to get to know yourself. For sure. My last thing that
I wrote down was just practicing discipline. So basically what I mean by this
is when you make decisions for yourself, like you say no to someone else
and say yes to yourself. So it's like sticking to your values, the
things that are important to you, not compromising your morals to fit in with
a group, not succumbing to peer pressure. Like say, if someone is
encouraging me to do something that I don't feel comfortable with and I don't want
to do, and if I say no, and I, you know,
go on with my life. The next I'd be like, I'm so happy
I didn't do that, So happy I didn't do the wrong thing when I
knew it was wrong. Like that makes me feel like I know myself.
So that's my last suggestion. And I think that's more of a thing when
you're younger, because now, like I can pretty much do whatever I want,
But I was younger, my friends would be like, let's do this
and like sneak out or like do something that I knew I wasn't supposed to
do, And if I said yes, I would have probably felt bad about
myself and like I didn't know myself. You know, I'm just like a
person who's so easily influenced, and I admire people with strong opinions and strong
beliefs. Another thing that you just reminded me of is trying to identify why
you don't want to do something can teach you a lot about yourself. For
sure. So if you don't want to do something, it's probably because it
goes against your needs or morals in some way. And I think that like
more than just saying no to something, being like no and then trying to
think of why you don't want to do it and even communicating that yeah to
the other person, can one help you get to know yourself better and to
help them understand why you are responding in the way that you are. Yeah,
for sure, yep, I totally agree with that. I think that
that's a very well rounded episode. Hopefully you guys enjoyed our little stories about
our life and some suggestions for you if you're thinking about sense of self and
you know, becoming a confident person who understands and knows himself. Although I
will say it's a journey, and I think my friends are still working it
out, but we're further along the journey that we were when we were like
seventeen eighteen, so you know, just life things. But yeah, hopefully
we enjoyed this one. We'll be back next week with our final video episodes,
so make sure you tune in on YouTube and yeah, we'll talk to
you next Friday, Saturday or Sunday. We'll get better at that too.
Well, we're at this whole, you know, transforming the podcast thing,
right, Okay, bye bye