WEBVTT

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Hey guys, welcome, Welcome back
to the podcast where your friends Maddie and

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Lauren and we are back for another
episode. You'll notice this week we are

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not recording video. We have a
little change of our situation over here.

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So Lauren, can you explain why
what's going on in your life that has

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affected the podcast? Clearly? Wow, way a place blame. I mean,

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it's not my fault, that's for
sure. Yeah, Okay, Basically,

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last semester, as you know,
if you've been listening, I started

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at USC, and Maddie and I
did keep recording the podcast while I was

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at school, and we recorded together
in person. If you've been listening,

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you will know that I started at
USC last semester, and Maddie and I

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did keep doing the podcast all last
semester, and we recorded together in person.

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But the only way we were able
to do that was because I would

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come home like every other weekend,
and USC isn't too far from our house

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here, but is a bit of
a track. And basically this semester,

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or I guess this year, we
are going to try to do audio only

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so that we are able to record
remotely and I don't have to come home

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every weekend, So that is why
we are not doing video. I think

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this will ultimately make our lives a
lot easier and make it so we are

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able to continue doing the podcast.
And it's not like a big undertaking for

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us because we do love podcasting.
It just with a little bit difficult last

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semester. So anyway, that's the
reason for the change. I hope that

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you guys can forgive me. Yeah, but we might need to do a

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special video episode next week because it's
my birthday. Yes, so yeah,

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I don't know if I'll have any
birthday memorabilia, like you know. I

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think I had a cowboy hat last
year. Oh that's a thing. I'm

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not sure. Maybe I'll have a
sash cowboy hat something like that, but

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I think yeah, we'll do a
special episode next week that will be the

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last one, and then from there
on out we will be recording audio only,

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which you can find on Apple Podcasts, Spotify. If you're listening or

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watching on YouTube right now, I
would suggest you go and subscribe on either

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of those platforms. This is this
is audio. I would be watching this

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on YouTube, all right. Well, I guess I'll just have to repeat

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this message next week on our final
video episode. Never mind, but I'll

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tell your friends, call your friends
at them know that we're switching to audio

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only. Great. Yeah, this
podcast has really been a journey. We've

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really let's just give a little recap
for our members, members of our community,

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because you know what, Lauren,
I realized it's been five years.

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What, No, it's been four
years. I feel like we should do

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something big for five years. Yeah, next year will be five years.

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It's like July first. I think
we watched the first one. Yeah,

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so this summer we missed it,
but it was four years in July.

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Which is kind of crazy because when
I sold Lauren on this idea of having

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a podcast, I told her that
we're going to do it for the summer,

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like two months of her vacation,
because she was not a podcast listener

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and she didn't really understand what it
was or believe that we needed one.

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But I feel like I've gotten you
fully on board since then, and I

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mean, you know, I hate
to say that I told you so,

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but really, everyone and their mom
has a podcast. Now. I was

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about four years or like three years
ahead of the curve. So yeah,

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you can just say that I'm a
trend setter. I listened to like two

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podcasts, and I'm like, we
should do this, you know, and

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it worked out. I guess we're
still doing it four years later. I

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feel like most podcasts, or like
there's a statistic that most podcasts don't make

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it to ten episodes or something really
yeah, like eighty percent. But that

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doesn't mean advise me, because I've
seen a lot of podcasts come and go

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over the past few years, and
we have somehow kept up with it.

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But then I was thinking about it, and I think part of it is

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probably because we're sisters, because I
don't know which of my friends I would

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start a podcast with. I was
talking about this with Ruby and Audio yesterday,

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and I think they are some of
my only friends who I could start

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a podcast with, because otherwise it's
like you don't know if you're going to

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be as close with someone in five
years, or like if that's gonna be

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someone you're gonna be able to hang
out with once a week to record together,

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right, and it would change your
relationship too, So I think that's

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something to consider. But obviously,
since we're sisters, we are kind of

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in it for the long run.
Yeah, And if it was a solo

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thing. I think I'd have to
be making money from it, like a

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significant amount of money for it to
make sense or else Eventually you'd be like,

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Okay, there's other things that I
could be spending my solo time on

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fair like work related. So yeah, I think it's a special arrangement and

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it has worked. We've had a
name change where with the studio or not

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with the studio. You know.
Thanks ever, really we've gotten everywhere with

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this podcast. But if you're listening
from the beginning, thanks for listening.

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I was trying to say, like, you can comment on our re Instagram

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posts or something, but we don't
really post on Instagram, so just we'll

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say thank you. I guess that's
all, thank you for listening. I

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wonder if there is anyone who's stuck
our own since like the first episode.

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I know that's I was hoping that
they would leave a comment and say that,

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but we don't post on Instagram.
Maybe a little review that would be

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really cute, and we never we
never encourage people to review anymore, and

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I think we should. Okay,
so it's a good way to you've been

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here since twenty nineteen July, leave
a review, leave your Instagram user name.

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Maybe we can do something. Let's
announce that next week because we have

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to think about what we would do, but yeah, I think that we

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could do maybe like a small giveaway
or something, or send you a Starbucks

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card or I don't know, to
figure something out, but we'll announce it

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next week. It'll be my gift
to you for my birthday and also for

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your support to us. So yeah, that is that. What else has

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been going on? We've recorded.
It's been like a week since we've recorded,

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so we're pretty up to date,
but any last minute updates. Lauren

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life has been pretty slow, mostly
just worked this week. Earlier this week,

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John actually had a show where he
was opening for someone, so Mattie

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and I went to go support and
that was fun. I feel like I

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never see him perform anymore. Like
when I was younger and I was in

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middle school and school wasn't very serious, I was able to take a lot

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of time off school to go on
tour with him. And I've seen some

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people ask if I'm gonna be going
to Asia with him, and I am

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unfortunately not, because now school is
so much more difficult to miss. But

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it was nice to see him perform
live again for the first time in a

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while. Other than that, I
haven't been up to anything too exciting,

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just reconnecting some friends. My friend
Anna was in town for a few days,

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so I saw her, which was
nice. And actually after we record

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today Ruby and Nattie are coming over
and we are going to see Oppenheimer,

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which I think the two of us
were talking about like two weeks ago and

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I was like, oh, I
want to see it. So finally getting

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around to it and I'm excited.
Maybe i'll give you my thoughts next week.

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Yeah, I've heard it's long but
good. Some people said it's boring.

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Just depends on what you're interested in, but hopefully it's good. I

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really want to see that. Also, it's just a three hour movie,

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so you have to find the right
time to go, because if you go

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too late, then you'll be up
to like one in the morning, because

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a lot of the shows are at
like nine thirty. But anyway, I

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think that that will be great.
My life has been pretty boring as well.

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I think that the weeks are flying
by, like I can't believe it's

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the end of summer. This is
your next week, is your last week

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before you go back to school.
Which is just crazy. My birthday is

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next Sunday, then Lauren goes to
school Monday. Our parents are coming for

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the weekend. We don't have any
really big plans. I am unfortunately turning

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twenty seven, and no one really
cares about your birthday when you're twenty seven.

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I'm also not a huge birthday person, so I just don't And I'm

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also not with my closest friends.
And I was trying to organize some sort

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of a dinner because our parents are
going to be here. So I was

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like, We'll do a family dinner
and then I'll invite my close friends like

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my friend Pia and her husband,
who our parents are close with, a

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couple other friends that are super close, and my parents have met, but

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everyone's away, so I'm like,
Okay, well we'll just do a family

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dinner and how that be that?
Yes, I think afterward we're all putting

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on going out together, which will
be fun. Yeah, Darien and John

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said said whether they're coming. I'm
not sure if I've invited them yet.

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Oh. I didn't invite Darien actually, but actual, yeah, I'm sure

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he'll be interested in that. Oh, I'm sure. So that'll sounds fun.

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I think that that's a good little
summer end of summer party, end

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of summer celebration, back to school
for Lauren, but for us it's still

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like a transition period. Obviously,
summers it's easier to make excuses to like

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do stuff during the week, and
I don't know, it's just summer.

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It seems like it's less serious than
the rest of the year than Once September

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rules around, we're like, all
right, back to focus mode. Very

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true. All the birthday festivities are
happening in the nineteenth and then on Mattie's

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actual birthday twentieth, I am moving
into my hotel room. M how exciting.

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Yeah, it should be super fun. If you didn't listen to last

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week's episode, I think I am
moving in a hotel for a few weeks

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because my apartment is currently under construction. So yeah, Mom's like, maybe

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we should go to Nobu on Sunday. I'm like, I think Lauren has

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to move into her room room.
I have to check in, yeah,

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so she's not unavailable. That's it
for the life update on my end.

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Haven't been doing much. Went to
the concert I think it was Tuesday.

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Otherwise, just the normal things work. I don't even know work and nothing

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else. Yeah, I feel like
at least you have some friends here,

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which is nice. Yeah, we
went out Monday, which kind of disturbed

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the flow of the week, and
then we had John Show Tuesday. Other

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than that, yeah, my friends
kind of just everyone wants to do something

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in the evening. But usually it's
not like going out, which is nice.

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It's like movie or I don't know. I'm trying to propose more wholesome

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fun like we'd discussed in think last
week, like roller skating, or I

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want to go to the beach for
like a beach picnic dinner at one time,

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Like I don't know, things that
you always mean to do but you

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don't actually get around to doing it. That's what I want to do.

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I want to go horseback riding that
sort of thing. I'm just going to

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book that for myself, honestly,
do it that in ballet, you've been

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talking about doing those two things forever. Well, those are childhood activities,

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and I think when you're an adult, you look back and the things that

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you want to do or the things
that you did when you're a kid or

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enjoyed when you're a kid, and
if somehow you could incorporate your interests into

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your career. That's even better,
like your childhood passions or whatever. Well,

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we're on a long tangent. Let's
get into this episode, which is,

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wait, what are we talking about
today? Growth? If we're talking

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about periods of growth in our life, and I also wanted to talk about

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like establishing a firm what's the word
that? Sense of self? But what

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is the identities? No, that's
a sense of self. Yeah, I

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already said that. Yeah, but
the word I was looking for is strong,

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not firm. I don't know.
Anyway, That's what we will be

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discussing today, which honestly, I
feel like kind of relates to what we

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were just saying about, like getting
back into the things you enjoyed when you

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were younger. Yeah, I don't
know. I think even as you grow,

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it can still be nice to like
revisit some old things that you used

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to get joy out of, and
you might realize that even though you've grown

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and change a lot, those are
still things you can enjoy as an adult.

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Yeah. I think the issue with
growing up is you kind of become

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less of yourself. Like when you're
a kid, you're way more of yourself.

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I feel like we've talked about this, but like you are who you

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are and you don't really care.
But then as you get older, you

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become less of yourself because you're socialized
and you have the influence of other people

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that rub off on you and also
make you feel like you need to fit

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into a certain box. And then
when people get out of that stage,

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I would say like mid to late
twenties, but people have told me like

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your thirties is when you stop caring. Then you do the things that you

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enjoyed when you are a kid,
and you feel like this is my personality

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and if you don't like it,
then you're not for me, rather than

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being like I want everyone to like
me. So I guess you come to

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a point where you have a strong
sense of self and you just realize that

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everyone should have a strong sense of
self and if your personality doesn't align,

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you don't have to change yourself.
You just find people that like you for

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you. I definitely see that in
our parents, Like I feel like I've

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had this conversation with Mom before because
she really doesn't seem to care what other

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people think of her, and I
think that that is really admirable, Like

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I would love to get to that
point. But I don't know if if

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you just have to wait until you're
in your thirties or whatever point that is

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in your life where you just decide
that you want to live for yourself and

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you don't care what other people think
of you, I don't know. I

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think it's not necessarily something that just
happens, because I've seen parents who are

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not like that. That is true
too, Like a lot of adults are

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still caught up. I remember when
I worked at our dad's office. I

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was young, I was like eighteen, but these people were in there,

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like late twenties, early thirties working
there, and I would listen to their

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conversations because we're all in cubicles,
and they would be literally talking about the

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things that my friends were talking about, Like some of them were mean,

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they were gossiping. I'm like,
what is going on? Like are you

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kidding me? People have the same
conversations that my high school friends have when

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they're thirty, Like it was just
like different problems, but the like trying

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to get people to like you or
having issues with girls, like all of

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that was the same, right,
Like the mean girl in the office,

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Like it was honestly crazy to realize. So I don't think it necessarily happens

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with time, but were aquires a
level of confidence, which generally you do

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acquire as you get older. And
I think it also comes with knowing yourself,

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and you know yourself the more time
you spend on the planet. You

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know, the weird thing is I
feel like I used to know myself better.

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Well, I think it happens.
It's like a cycle. You know

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yourself when you're young because you don't
really care, like people aren't mean in

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the same way. And then when
you're in middle in high school, you

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kind of lose yourself. You get
caught up with the crowd. You don't

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know your own sense of style,
your own personality, really what's important to

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you. And then when you get
older you come back around, you start

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to explore those interests again you don't
really care if people think it's weird.

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I think we could even apply this
to our social media journey. Like I'm

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at a point now where I'm like, I literally don't care I'll post anything,

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but like five years ago even less. I think it was like twenty

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twenty when we had that manager,
she was like, you should be posting

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a talking video every day and we're
like, no, not happening, never

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posting a talking video on our instagrams. Yeah, like my friends are going

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to see this. Yeah, but
now I'm just like who cares? Like,

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if you don't like it, you
should unfollow me. Ye, it's

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a journey for sure. Yeah.
I don't know. I think I just

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I feel like when I was like
from when I was born to when I

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was like twelve, I felt like
I really knew myself m And I don't

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know if that's super normal, Like
I don't think I was really that conscious

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of it, But I don't know. I think something happened, and I

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guess it was in like middle high
school, I think especially high school,

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and I got to the point where
I was like, I don't know if

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I know myself as well as I
used to, which is kind of a

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scary feeling. Have you gone through
that. I remember in high school feeling

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like I didn't know myself. I
remember distinctly when I was applying to university

242
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and I didn't know what to do, like what to study in school.

243
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I'm like, I feel like I
should understand my interests better, or like

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understand what I want to do with
my life better than I do. Like

245
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I literally had no idea, and
that's a very common thing, I know,

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but yeah, I definitely felt that
way. I'm not sure if I

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ever really knew myself. I don't
remember me being younger and feeling like any

248
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myself, but i'd remember in high
school feeling like I don't know myself.

249
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Yeah, I definitely relate to that. I remember thinking I don't have any

250
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passions, like I still don't know
if I'm a very passionate person. I

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like what I'm studying, and I
feel like I would be happy with a

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career in the industry that I plan
to go into, But I'm like,

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am I passionate about it? I
don't know, is anyone passionate about anything?

254
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Like what does that actually mean?
What does that feel like? I

255
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don't know for me since I've had
work experience. Now, I'm passionate about

256
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like being independent, so I enjoy
what I'm doing, but I think it

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could be any industry. I just
enjoy like being my own boss and having

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flexibility. Like I think that I
would feel unfulfilled with a life where I

259
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was told what to do all the
time and like it was just very draining

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and I was exhausted all the time, and I know that that's how so

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many people feel. So that's why
I feel like at this point, I'm

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passionate about what I'm doing because I
get there's so many benefits of working for

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yourself. Obviously there's pros and cons
to every job or situation, but yeah,

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I've found and I think you're the
same, Like if you're an independent

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person, I found that I'm passionate
about applying that independence into other areas of

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my life and like making my own
path and my own rules for myself.

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So in a career sense, yeah, working for myself that makes sense to

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me. I guess I always just
thought that people were passionate about a certain

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area of like or like a certain
career and then they would go into that.

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But I'm kind of I don't know. I'd like take everything I do

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very seriously, So I think that's
why it's difficult for me, because I'm

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like, I know, I would
try really harding care a lot about whatever

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I was doing, regardless of what
it is. Yeah, at this point

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in my life, I think that
I could start a skincare brand. I

275
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could start any D two C like
direct consumer brand, let's not use some

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jargon here. I couldn't hear in
the marketing like no one asks questions,

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but no one knows who you're talking
about, Like TF, what is that

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direct a consumer? Meaning like you
sell on a website to a person.

279
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I could start any brand and I
would be passionate about it. It's not

280
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the brand or it's not the niche. It's the brand building and like all

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the things that go into that,
and also being your own boss. Major

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thing for me because, like I
said, I did the nine to five

283
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grind. I graduated from school early
and worked at my dad's office and commuted

284
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into the city, got there when
it was left when it was dark,

285
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worked out at like seven pm in
the gym with like all the other people

286
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that work nine to five, and
it just was a very exhausting lifestyle.

287
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And I was like, I really
hope that I can do something different than

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this. Fair I feel like we've
gotten off track again. I don't know

289
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this did relate to growth at some
point, but I feel like we need

290
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to. I think we're talking about
sense of self at the moment which you

291
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said you felt you don't feel like
you know yourself, and I said,

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yeah, I don't think that anyone
really feels like they know themselves. But

293
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:36.359
as you get older, you start
to care less about what people think of

294
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you, so it allows you to
really develop your own independence. So that's

295
00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:45.920
how we started talking about this.
But let's talk about phases or periods of

296
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growth that we've gone through, like
major growth turning points that have changed your

297
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personality or your identity or things like
that. And yeah, like how it's

298
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firstly helped you develop who you are, your sense of self. And also

299
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I think that when you look back
at those things, you can see how

300
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they've altered the course of your life, because those are like major points where

301
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decisions that you make and things that
you do change how the rest of your

302
00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:18.240
life turns out. Agreed, I
think it can be hard in the moment

303
00:20:18.279 --> 00:20:22.960
to recognize that you are changing.
I think there are things that you can

304
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look out for, like indications that
you might be changing as a person,

305
00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:30.440
like if you feel like you aren't
meshing well with your friends that you've been

306
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friends with for a while anymore,
or like things that used to fit just

307
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don't work for you. I think
that's pretty good indication. But when I

308
00:20:40.519 --> 00:20:42.519
think of these periods of growth,
in my life. I don't think I

309
00:20:42.559 --> 00:20:47.759
realized that they were periods of growth
at the time, so especially because you're

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still young. So if these things
happen in your thirteen or fourteen or even

311
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younger, like I think things like
that have happened to you at these young

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00:20:56.480 --> 00:21:02.119
ages, you don't really realize because
you're not an introspective person yet because you're

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a kid. So let's talk about
different periods of life and whether you feel

314
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like you've experienced any growth at those
times. I'm starting with elementary school,

315
00:21:14.839 --> 00:21:19.440
not personally. I wrote down these
kind of big changes, and the first

316
00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:25.960
time for me was actually middle school. So my life was very normal until

317
00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:30.200
honestly it was honest like, it
was pretty normal the whole time. But

318
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the first big change that I went
through, or like thing that shaped me,

319
00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:37.400
I wasn't even a big change,
but was in middle school. Okay,

320
00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:41.680
well, I will talk about your
life was a little different than mine.

321
00:21:41.039 --> 00:21:47.200
Yeah, in the middle of grade
five, I moved to the US,

322
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and I don't really remember that transition
very well, but I can imagine

323
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that that would have been my first
big period of growth in my life because

324
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I was pretty much leaving everything I
had known and everyone I had known,

325
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Like I had gone to the same
school since I was in grade one or

326
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maybe even before that, so I
had been surrounded by the same people,

327
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people who come from the same backgrounds. And then we moved when I was

328
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in the middle of grade five,
and suddenly I had to make all new

329
00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:26.400
friends. I was going to a
new school, and I think, well,

330
00:22:26.440 --> 00:22:30.079
honestly, the neighborhood that we moved
to was Beverly Hills, which was

331
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kind of similar to where we grew
up in a lot of ways, but

332
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still new people, new experiences.
La is very different than Toronto is,

333
00:22:44.279 --> 00:22:52.759
So I don't know. I think
all of those experiences combined to probably change

334
00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:56.559
who I was a little bit as
a person for sure. Plus you left

335
00:22:56.599 --> 00:23:00.160
your school in the middle of the
year, you were the new kid for

336
00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:06.279
the first time. And I think
I like a conclusion that I drew from

337
00:23:06.319 --> 00:23:11.119
all of my big changes was that
it all comes from uncomfortable moments, Like

338
00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:15.039
you don't really change in comfort,
so that was like the first time that

339
00:23:15.079 --> 00:23:19.680
you were probably uncomfortable for a sustained
period of time, like anytime you go

340
00:23:19.720 --> 00:23:23.240
to a new school, like you
change schools a lot. The first couple

341
00:23:23.240 --> 00:23:26.119
of weeks are uncomfortable because you're the
new kid and you don't know anyone.

342
00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:30.319
And when you're young too, it's
just different, like maybe you're less confident

343
00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:36.200
or whatever it is. So having
like change of country, change of school,

344
00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:40.640
all new things for you in that
time period, I'm sure it was

345
00:23:40.759 --> 00:23:45.640
very uncomfortable, but like I said, from the discomfort comes from comes change.

346
00:23:48.440 --> 00:23:53.920
Yes, for me, the first
period that I remember being not transformational,

347
00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:57.920
but I think it shaped who I
am was at the school that we

348
00:23:57.960 --> 00:24:00.720
went to. That school at Lauren
left in grade five. It was an

349
00:24:00.720 --> 00:24:03.519
all girls school and we did grade
seven, eight nine in two years,

350
00:24:04.599 --> 00:24:10.119
and all my friends I remember feeling
like they were very smart, like smarter

351
00:24:10.200 --> 00:24:14.160
than me, Like I was always
competing with them for grades or like whoever

352
00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:18.000
would get the best grade would be
like it was impressive at that school.

353
00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:22.319
And also doing three grades in two
years, the pace was so fast.

354
00:24:23.000 --> 00:24:27.759
So I think that that just it
gave me like a level of discipline,

355
00:24:29.119 --> 00:24:30.799
because if I think about how our
parents were, I don't think that until

356
00:24:30.839 --> 00:24:36.039
that point they had really drilled discipline
into us that much. Like I can't

357
00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:38.000
really remember, but it's hard when
you're so young too, It's like,

358
00:24:38.279 --> 00:24:41.200
how are you going to tell you're
a ten year old that they need to

359
00:24:41.240 --> 00:24:47.039
be working harder. Yeah, but
that the school environment surrounded with the pace,

360
00:24:47.200 --> 00:24:51.359
and also the fact that my friends
were really smart, it just taught

361
00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:56.039
me a lot of discipline and it
was cool to be smart. So I

362
00:24:56.160 --> 00:24:59.759
from that point on, I kind
of always liked school actually, but I

363
00:25:00.039 --> 00:25:03.759
really like school after that, or
like, I enjoyed the competition and aspect

364
00:25:03.799 --> 00:25:07.559
of it. It was very intense, for sure, but yeah, I

365
00:25:07.559 --> 00:25:11.079
feel like that environment really did shape
me and like the path that I wanted

366
00:25:11.079 --> 00:25:15.319
to follow. I remember my friend
we were like in grade seven, so

367
00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:19.000
thirteen years old, and my mom
or we would ask like, oh,

368
00:25:19.079 --> 00:25:21.799
what do you want to do when
you're older, and she's like, I

369
00:25:21.799 --> 00:25:25.160
want to be a CFO. I'm
like, what is a CFO? She

370
00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:29.119
probably like I doubt she knew what
a CFO was, but it was just

371
00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:32.400
that was what people would talk about, and I'm like, oh my god,

372
00:25:32.400 --> 00:25:34.440
I have to be a CFO.
Like this was drilled into our brain.

373
00:25:34.519 --> 00:25:38.759
We're thirteen. Yeah, that is
very strange, and I feel like

374
00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:45.799
it is just not not the typical
experience like at most schools. It's not

375
00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:51.400
cool to be to have the highest
average, you know for sure. So

376
00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:55.359
then how did that change when you
then switched schools. Well, then I

377
00:25:55.400 --> 00:25:59.279
went to a co ed school for
the first time when I was in grade

378
00:25:59.279 --> 00:26:03.240
ten, so that actually pretty old, not actually old, but like in

379
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:07.839
the scheme of school, I was
almost finished, and I remember saying to

380
00:26:07.880 --> 00:26:11.640
my dance friends, Oh, my
odd, school is so fun because it's

381
00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:15.599
no longer school focused. It's now
social focused. And I think that that

382
00:26:17.079 --> 00:26:21.039
obviously different, like good in a
different way. But I think it was

383
00:26:21.079 --> 00:26:26.039
good because you can't just be focused
on school and like miss out on the

384
00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:30.640
social aspect. And I think having
boys there also made me more balanced.

385
00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:33.480
Like if you went to an all
girls school your whole life, I think

386
00:26:33.880 --> 00:26:37.200
you do miss some of the social
aspect. Also because I danced with all

387
00:26:37.240 --> 00:26:41.960
girls, like, I never was
around boys, right, I had three

388
00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:45.240
sisters, didn't really know any guys, Like I would have been a different

389
00:26:45.240 --> 00:26:48.119
person if I didn't switch schools.
So it's happy that I did that.

390
00:26:48.160 --> 00:26:52.359
And I had those experiences where I
was like communicating with guys, learning how

391
00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:57.640
to go to school with them,
Like it's just totally different. So yeah,

392
00:26:57.720 --> 00:27:02.920
that was a second major life experience
that shape me. Also that school,

393
00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:06.839
how do I explain this? There
were parties and like, I guess

394
00:27:06.839 --> 00:27:11.720
it's yeah, more social focused,
like way more normal. Yeah, but

395
00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:17.079
I think that academics are still focused
at that school, like, well it's

396
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:21.960
not cool. Well I don't know. I would say that school is still

397
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:26.119
cool to be smart, like people
want to have a high average, you

398
00:27:26.200 --> 00:27:33.119
know, and almost everyone wants to
and I don't think that's really the norm.

399
00:27:33.319 --> 00:27:36.920
No, not, it's not like
a public high school. I also

400
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:40.519
went to public high school. I
didn't include that on my list because it

401
00:27:40.559 --> 00:27:45.839
wasn't very transformational for me, but
definitely very different, totally different environment and

402
00:27:45.880 --> 00:27:51.559
like Vibe, yeah that was her
last year of high school, she experienced

403
00:27:51.599 --> 00:27:55.000
that for a few months. But
yeah, I don't know. I think

404
00:27:55.119 --> 00:27:59.759
our school or where you went to
high school was similar to the middle school

405
00:27:59.799 --> 00:28:03.799
and a lot of ways. But
yeah, definitely way more of a social

406
00:28:03.880 --> 00:28:10.000
focus. And that's also how I
ended up at that school because after I

407
00:28:10.079 --> 00:28:12.400
switched schools in grade five, I
switched schools in grade six, in grade

408
00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:18.920
seven and grade eight and what about
grade nine, I stayed at the same

409
00:28:18.920 --> 00:28:21.680
school for grade eight and nine.
And then switched for grade ten. Ten,

410
00:28:21.839 --> 00:28:26.519
Right, so I went to so
many different schools and met so many

411
00:28:26.519 --> 00:28:32.119
different people, and I don't know, I never really minded. I guess

412
00:28:32.119 --> 00:28:36.960
I just don't really care too much
about change. Even now when people are

413
00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:38.359
like, oh, how do you
feel about this big change in your life,

414
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:41.039
I'm like, Oh, I don't
really care. Like I'm sure it'll

415
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:45.920
be fine. That probably comes from
all of those changes, Like I just

416
00:28:47.119 --> 00:28:51.920
it just became not a big deal
in my mind. So I don't know

417
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:57.680
that that was super transformative either.
But I think that I definitely met people

418
00:28:59.240 --> 00:29:03.200
who were different for me in a
lot of ways, even more so than

419
00:29:03.240 --> 00:29:04.920
I did moving from Kin to the
US when I was in grade five.

420
00:29:06.480 --> 00:29:11.720
Like I the school that I went
to four grade seven was it was basically

421
00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:15.880
just a lot of kids who didn't
who couldn't go to a regular school for

422
00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:18.880
whatever reason. So the reason kind
of differed, but a lot of people

423
00:29:18.920 --> 00:29:26.400
had either like mental or physical health
issues, and so obviously that was a

424
00:29:26.440 --> 00:29:33.519
new experience like making friends there,
and I just like learned a lot about

425
00:29:33.559 --> 00:29:37.000
the world. And I think,
like I was still so young then,

426
00:29:37.039 --> 00:29:41.119
so I didn't even really understand it, but that obviously opened my mind new

427
00:29:41.160 --> 00:29:45.640
things. And then when I changed
schools for grade eight, I switched to

428
00:29:45.759 --> 00:29:48.759
school that was full of athletes and
I was non an athlete, so and

429
00:29:48.920 --> 00:29:53.400
like ninety five percent boys maybe more. I was looking at my grade eight

430
00:29:53.680 --> 00:29:57.799
class picture and it was me and
one other girl. Yeah, in a

431
00:29:57.839 --> 00:30:04.319
class of thirty. Probably it was
very strange, but that's so funny.

432
00:30:04.440 --> 00:30:10.599
Yeah, I guess I would consider
that a period of growth as well.

433
00:30:12.519 --> 00:30:18.880
I made a lot of older friends. I think I became very grateful for

434
00:30:18.920 --> 00:30:22.960
the female friendships I made it that
school because there were so few of us

435
00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:27.000
that we really connected. And now
I think if I went to school with

436
00:30:27.319 --> 00:30:30.680
a lot of boys, it wouldn't
be as weird of an experience for me.

437
00:30:30.799 --> 00:30:34.960
But like, the guys and girls
at school just didn't mash, so

438
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:41.640
all the girls became really close.
So funny. Yeah, I'm still friends

439
00:30:41.640 --> 00:30:45.200
with some of those girls today,
So just funny how that works out.

440
00:30:45.240 --> 00:30:48.319
And then yeah, in grade ten, I switched to the high school that

441
00:30:48.359 --> 00:30:52.440
Madison also went to, the one
that was a bit more social, and

442
00:30:53.599 --> 00:31:00.599
I think then I was just looking
for a more normal experience and also that

443
00:31:00.759 --> 00:31:03.400
social aspect that I felt like I
had been missing it all of the other

444
00:31:03.880 --> 00:31:07.160
slightly unconventional schools. Yeah, I
think since you guys changed so often,

445
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:12.720
and since you are with people that
were not the same as you in a

446
00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:17.839
lot of ways, you like you
missed out on good friendships. Obviously,

447
00:31:17.880 --> 00:31:19.200
you have a couple, like a
couple of friends that you still keep in

448
00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:23.839
contact with, but it's not the
same as when you go to a school.

449
00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:27.680
A lot of people actually go to
the same elementary school and they,

450
00:31:27.799 --> 00:31:30.640
like, you go to high school
with the same people that you went to

451
00:31:30.680 --> 00:31:33.279
elementary school with. So you've been
friends with these people for like ten plus

452
00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:37.960
years, like up to fourteen years
by the time you graduate high school.

453
00:31:37.799 --> 00:31:44.480
So there are pros and cons like
there are of every situation. But I

454
00:31:44.519 --> 00:31:49.440
think you're right, like changing a
lot of change is beneficial to you because

455
00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:52.160
now you're able to deal with change
and it's not a big deal, doesn't

456
00:31:52.200 --> 00:31:56.039
shake you. But yeah, maybe, I don't know if you feel like

457
00:31:56.079 --> 00:32:00.240
you missed out socially. Luckily,
you still had a couple of years like

458
00:32:00.279 --> 00:32:05.039
normal social experience where you were with
the same group for more than a year

459
00:32:05.079 --> 00:32:07.799
at a time. But that's the
downside of changing school. So often for

460
00:32:07.880 --> 00:32:13.839
sure. And another thing is that
I'm a pretty private person, and I

461
00:32:13.880 --> 00:32:17.400
think I was more private when I
was younger. So, like you said,

462
00:32:17.759 --> 00:32:21.960
when you experienced a big change,
you tend to be uncomfortable. I

463
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:24.559
think the way I responded to that
was by like not really opening up to

464
00:32:24.559 --> 00:32:28.839
people at first. So I think
about all the schools I went to,

465
00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:34.359
and I'm like, I never really
got comfortable at any of them until the

466
00:32:34.440 --> 00:32:38.079
high school that I graduated from.
And I remember showing up there in grade

467
00:32:38.079 --> 00:32:44.759
ten and just feeling like I didn't
really understand how things worked, and I

468
00:32:44.799 --> 00:32:46.880
felt like quite uncomfortable. I would
say I showed up for the first day

469
00:32:46.920 --> 00:32:52.599
of classes with a gym bag full
of textbooks I definitely did not fit in.

470
00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:58.440
I don't know, I just thought
I might need them on the first

471
00:32:58.519 --> 00:33:01.200
day. The thing is, though, like nobody actually cares. No.

472
00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:06.799
I have talked to people since then, they remember it, for I think,

473
00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:09.160
yeah, four years later, now
it's just kind of funny, like

474
00:33:10.039 --> 00:33:15.240
and now I really don't care.
But just to think of experience like experiences

475
00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:19.400
like that, I don't know.
I just realized how uncomfortable I was at

476
00:33:19.440 --> 00:33:22.759
first, and how long it took
me to get comfortable in those different places.

477
00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:25.640
But I think by the time I
graduated, I was really comfortable at

478
00:33:25.680 --> 00:33:34.480
that school and with those people.
But then I took some time off before

479
00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:37.240
starting university, so I took a
semester where I was just here in La

480
00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:42.039
Maddie and I lived together, and
I feel like that was a bit of

481
00:33:42.039 --> 00:33:46.480
a period of growth for me,
because I think a lot of growth also

482
00:33:46.599 --> 00:33:51.680
comes from not being with other people. Like I think that when you are

483
00:33:51.720 --> 00:33:58.440
alone and you have time to look
inward, m I wrote that down too,

484
00:33:59.079 --> 00:34:01.559
Yeah, you to really realize who
you are. Yeah, Like it's

485
00:34:01.559 --> 00:34:05.559
like who are you when you are
not trying to fit in with other people,

486
00:34:05.960 --> 00:34:09.079
when other people are influencing you.
I think that is when you are

487
00:34:09.719 --> 00:34:14.920
really yourself. Yeah, well it's
the time, really, the only time

488
00:34:14.960 --> 00:34:17.880
where you have to think, Like
you don't really think about anything during the

489
00:34:17.960 --> 00:34:23.480
day, if you're not like sitting
down quietly because even like now people watch

490
00:34:23.599 --> 00:34:28.199
videos and like distract themselves, listen
to a podcast, like never take time

491
00:34:28.199 --> 00:34:32.079
to be quiet. But in the
quiet moments, that's when you come up

492
00:34:32.079 --> 00:34:37.039
with ideas. You think about who
you are, like the actual thought like

493
00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:40.440
important thoughts that you know, most
people don't even ever get to that point

494
00:34:40.480 --> 00:34:45.480
where they like assess who they are
let themselves really think deeply. I think

495
00:34:45.480 --> 00:34:50.880
it's so funny that people talk about
shower thoughts. Yeah, like just the

496
00:34:50.920 --> 00:34:52.320
most amazing things come to me in
the shower. It's like, yes,

497
00:34:52.400 --> 00:34:57.079
because you put your phone down for
fifteen minutes and you were forced to sit

498
00:34:57.119 --> 00:35:00.800
with your thoughts. It's great things
you will come out of that. But

499
00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:04.679
you could also just journal for fifteen
minutes or just sit there and not go

500
00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:07.440
on your phone and just think.
Well, that's why meditation has become so

501
00:35:07.480 --> 00:35:13.639
popular, I think because I don't
think there's any real magic to it.

502
00:35:13.679 --> 00:35:16.079
Like it doesn't matter what you listen
to or what meditation you do. It's

503
00:35:16.119 --> 00:35:22.719
just a time to think quietly and
you actually have good ideas and good thoughts

504
00:35:22.719 --> 00:35:25.199
and you like process things. Same
with journaling. It allows you to process

505
00:35:25.239 --> 00:35:30.239
things that you couldn't do when you
are busy and on your phone and running

506
00:35:30.280 --> 00:35:35.840
around like it's quiet time so super
important. We can talk a little bit

507
00:35:35.880 --> 00:35:37.480
more about that in a second when
we talk about sense of self. I

508
00:35:37.519 --> 00:35:42.039
just want to say the last major
transitional period for me was moving to La

509
00:35:42.920 --> 00:35:46.599
I think it's a major uncomfortable thing. I remember when I first moved here,

510
00:35:47.280 --> 00:35:51.880
I was like filling John's orders and
I was alone in la just like

511
00:35:52.280 --> 00:35:57.920
literally didn't leave the house, didn't
know anyone that's familiar, not leaving the

512
00:35:57.920 --> 00:36:00.039
house. But I was like,
oh, I hope one day I feel

513
00:36:00.079 --> 00:36:05.000
comfortable here, you know. And
after a couple of years, I do

514
00:36:05.159 --> 00:36:07.639
definitely feel like this is where I
live now. And I think that that

515
00:36:07.440 --> 00:36:13.000
was a hard process to a certain
extent, but it also has been a

516
00:36:13.039 --> 00:36:16.079
major transitional period and I'm so much
happier than if I stayed in a comfortable

517
00:36:16.079 --> 00:36:20.440
place where I knew everyone and knew
everything, like Toronto. Is that for

518
00:36:20.480 --> 00:36:23.480
me? So yeah, I'm happy
that I made that decision. Definitely a

519
00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:29.000
major period of change, and that
was like the last period of growth.

520
00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:30.719
I would say, well, I
guess I'm in it now. I still

521
00:36:30.800 --> 00:36:36.039
have only lived here for two years, almost two years, So yeah,

522
00:36:36.639 --> 00:36:39.480
let's talk a little bit more about
developing your sense of self and like things

523
00:36:39.480 --> 00:36:44.599
that we would suggest to the audience
in order to do so. Yes,

524
00:36:45.119 --> 00:36:51.239
I actually also wanted to talk about
this because, as we mentioned, getting

525
00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:55.000
to know yourself is something that kind
of comes with age, But do you

526
00:36:55.000 --> 00:37:00.079
think that there's a way to accelerate
that process or we kind of touched on

527
00:37:00.199 --> 00:37:04.079
this, but do you think that
would come with age if you didn't ever

528
00:37:04.199 --> 00:37:08.119
look inward and try to figure it
out. I think it definitely helps,

529
00:37:08.159 --> 00:37:12.599
but it's not going to solve the
problem completely. Like, just because you

530
00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:15.840
get older doesn't mean you naturally will
become who you are or know yourself better.

531
00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:20.840
I think this is what I thought
when I was thinking about this topic.

532
00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:24.320
I wrote down force yourself to be
uncomfortable, like when you have a

533
00:37:24.320 --> 00:37:28.559
decision to make. You know,
when you're presented with an opportunity and you're

534
00:37:28.559 --> 00:37:31.239
like, should I do this thing
that I really don't feel comfortable doing or

535
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:36.679
should I just say no and stay
on my current path. I would do

536
00:37:36.719 --> 00:37:40.760
the uncomfortable thing, Like a couple
minutes or a couple of weeks of discomfort

537
00:37:42.599 --> 00:37:46.679
will lead you probably to a much
happier place. It's hard to say without

538
00:37:46.760 --> 00:37:52.559
knowing the exact situation, but yeah, I think every situation that I've approach

539
00:37:52.639 --> 00:37:55.639
that has been uncomfortable and happy that
I did it and I made it through.

540
00:37:57.199 --> 00:38:00.639
And you also like accomplishing things that
you didn't know if you could accomplish,

541
00:38:00.719 --> 00:38:05.960
or like getting through hard times gives
you so much confidence and it just

542
00:38:06.039 --> 00:38:09.159
shows you like what you're capable of
as a human. Like pushing yourself in

543
00:38:09.159 --> 00:38:15.760
accomplishing things is the best feeling,
right. I think taking risks is important

544
00:38:15.800 --> 00:38:17.559
for sure. That's something that I
want to work on too, because I'm

545
00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:22.880
like definitely the kind of person who
plays it safe. But I agree with

546
00:38:22.920 --> 00:38:28.760
that for sure. Another thing I
think is really important is well, I

547
00:38:28.800 --> 00:38:32.519
guess we talked about this too,
but just like making time for yourself,

548
00:38:32.679 --> 00:38:37.079
making time to think, to journal. I've seen people talk about doing like

549
00:38:37.199 --> 00:38:42.199
video diaries or audio diaries because sometimes
I don't want to write it all down

550
00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:50.079
either, But just finding some way
to organize your thoughts and like draw conclusions

551
00:38:50.480 --> 00:38:54.760
and just asking yourself what all of
that means about who you are is a

552
00:38:54.800 --> 00:39:00.400
great way to get to know yourself. For sure. My last thing that

553
00:39:00.440 --> 00:39:06.400
I wrote down was just practicing discipline. So basically what I mean by this

554
00:39:06.639 --> 00:39:12.519
is when you make decisions for yourself, like you say no to someone else

555
00:39:12.559 --> 00:39:15.760
and say yes to yourself. So
it's like sticking to your values, the

556
00:39:15.800 --> 00:39:20.320
things that are important to you,
not compromising your morals to fit in with

557
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:23.519
a group, not succumbing to peer
pressure. Like say, if someone is

558
00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:27.639
encouraging me to do something that I
don't feel comfortable with and I don't want

559
00:39:27.679 --> 00:39:30.880
to do, and if I say
no, and I, you know,

560
00:39:30.960 --> 00:39:31.840
go on with my life. The
next I'd be like, I'm so happy

561
00:39:31.880 --> 00:39:35.960
I didn't do that, So happy
I didn't do the wrong thing when I

562
00:39:36.039 --> 00:39:38.480
knew it was wrong. Like that
makes me feel like I know myself.

563
00:39:38.559 --> 00:39:42.840
So that's my last suggestion. And
I think that's more of a thing when

564
00:39:42.840 --> 00:39:45.599
you're younger, because now, like
I can pretty much do whatever I want,

565
00:39:45.960 --> 00:39:46.800
But I was younger, my friends
would be like, let's do this

566
00:39:46.880 --> 00:39:51.000
and like sneak out or like do
something that I knew I wasn't supposed to

567
00:39:51.000 --> 00:39:54.760
do, And if I said yes, I would have probably felt bad about

568
00:39:54.760 --> 00:39:59.199
myself and like I didn't know myself. You know, I'm just like a

569
00:39:59.280 --> 00:40:02.519
person who's so easily influenced, and
I admire people with strong opinions and strong

570
00:40:02.519 --> 00:40:10.960
beliefs. Another thing that you just
reminded me of is trying to identify why

571
00:40:12.039 --> 00:40:15.920
you don't want to do something can
teach you a lot about yourself. For

572
00:40:15.960 --> 00:40:21.039
sure. So if you don't want
to do something, it's probably because it

573
00:40:21.079 --> 00:40:28.840
goes against your needs or morals in
some way. And I think that like

574
00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:32.880
more than just saying no to something, being like no and then trying to

575
00:40:32.880 --> 00:40:37.000
think of why you don't want to
do it and even communicating that yeah to

576
00:40:37.079 --> 00:40:40.440
the other person, can one help
you get to know yourself better and to

577
00:40:40.599 --> 00:40:45.840
help them understand why you are responding
in the way that you are. Yeah,

578
00:40:45.960 --> 00:40:49.079
for sure, yep, I totally
agree with that. I think that

579
00:40:49.119 --> 00:40:53.320
that's a very well rounded episode.
Hopefully you guys enjoyed our little stories about

580
00:40:53.320 --> 00:40:58.320
our life and some suggestions for you
if you're thinking about sense of self and

581
00:40:58.760 --> 00:41:02.920
you know, becoming a confident person
who understands and knows himself. Although I

582
00:41:02.920 --> 00:41:06.519
will say it's a journey, and
I think my friends are still working it

583
00:41:06.559 --> 00:41:08.440
out, but we're further along the
journey that we were when we were like

584
00:41:08.719 --> 00:41:14.519
seventeen eighteen, so you know,
just life things. But yeah, hopefully

585
00:41:14.519 --> 00:41:17.679
we enjoyed this one. We'll be
back next week with our final video episodes,

586
00:41:17.840 --> 00:41:22.800
so make sure you tune in on
YouTube and yeah, we'll talk to

587
00:41:22.800 --> 00:41:28.039
you next Friday, Saturday or Sunday. We'll get better at that too.

588
00:41:28.119 --> 00:41:30.679
Well, we're at this whole,
you know, transforming the podcast thing,

589
00:41:31.280 --> 00:41:44.039
right, Okay, bye bye