Ladies and gentlemen, witness and behold the world's least responsive you listener, Male
Bag. Many podcasts across the width and breadth of the intern atmosphere claim interest
in the writings of listeners, but only one podcast holds their respect and disregards
the timeliness in equalm Mounds bear witness to bloody photos. Listen to me supplement.
There was one guy had to put them down. Well, let's let's
let's kick this thing off where they collectively felt drive us there they goes.
I think we're all feeling that a little bit. Oh hello, how are
you. My name is David Flora. My name is David Stecco, and
we are liars who have no I am the Stecco and he is the Flora.
That's right, and I'm the pan. Now one of us tells the
truth. One of us always lies. How does that? How does that
riddle go? How? What's the answer that there's one thing that you asked
the dude, you as the one guy, if the other one would tell
you, yeah, this is yeah, this is what you want to know.
Always lie. So listener, mail, this is the this is the
part of the show where you're the star just kidding. It's still pretty much
us. We just make a big deal out of it. Wrong. We've
got we've got a hearty amount of of denty moore, listener mail, Oh,
we do, with lots of rich chunks of lettuce and beef nuggets.
Let us does not let us doesn't belong in. Let us now with fewer
calories, another ball, and let us chowder over here, please with extra
romaine. Uh. For the listeners should be knowing that Flora's getting ready to
return for a little stint to his his old Kentucky home. Oh yeah,
you're in Kentucky. Try and find me bitches. To that end, he
has been drinking through the last of his Kentucky bourbon because he knows he gets
to reload. So yep, I reload on on bourbon and l eight fucking
yeah. It's a crazy drink. It's a it's a it's a ginger drink
of magical deliciousness. Yeah, will you bring me a six pack of that?
I will give you money for it, I sure will. Sweet All
right, listener mail, this is what you're here for yourself. We've got
we've got a righteous stack betwixt us. We do and we do have.
Actually, Righteous Stack is a pretty cool name for like a band. Okay,
I'm saying, is that a Christian band? Maybe? But like the
cover of the first album is like Marshall Stacks, but it just says righteous
wherever it would say Marshall. What's a Marshall stack. It's like the it's
like the the two Vamp and the Great Big Speaker part. Marshall Stacks.
They stack up. You've seen them probably, But anyway, I don't know
what these kids are listening to these days? Essie, what do you think
of my jokes? Yeah? Not a fan? Is it addictment for me
to treat your dog like a sound button? Not? When you can?
I guess it's so easy. You're on farms? Hey, Assy, what
do you think of the president? GMOs? Not a fan about Jane Fonda?
Never forget America. Oh you know what we should do is just uh,
we should just like get a really clean recording of Assy flipping out and
use that for our badger sound or whatever. We Yeah, okay, so
let's kick this thing off. Let's let's do it, Let's get into it.
That's the end of a dude, that's right, all right, right
off the bat boom, Lunar Kitty, Lunar Kitty, didn't you hear they
put a kitty on the moon? What are they doing with that tax money?
I don't think that kiddy can breathe up there. Y'all should leave Earth.
Oh, Lunar Kitty hits us with the following, um and uh,
a little taste of foreshadowing. What, Yeah, Lunar Kitty wants to hear
a little bit more about stuff with South Asia and Southern Islands, mythology and
monsters. I mean, what real? Yeah, I don't know. I
mean we have been I feel like we've been carpet bombing the Philippines in Japan.
Well, I mean, it's weird the timing of this. This was
sent forever ago, but but we have just come around to trying to tool
out an episode kind of all about that. Yeah, so we might we
might be Carl younging it up here, asked and answered, your honor,
asked and answered. Um. Also, this is not a pun. Just
you know, this is an actual factual fact about the way the world operates.
Oh, okay, do you know the real reason that HP Lovecraft was
taken out to school? HP Lovecraft ever heard of him? Oh? Yeah,
yeah, Jesus Flora. It was because of a particular bully that was
always picking on him, a jerk by the name of pH Shovecraft. Oh
yeah, hate it. Yeah. Well, I gotta say though he treated
it seriously. It wasn't just a shove hobby, a shove craft. He
was a master, It's right. And also some um, some fun tips
about Remember what I was saying that I've been alarming people by cleaning my fingernails
with a knife. Lunard Kitty gave me some great tips on alternative things I
could do that are more socially acceptable. Toothpicks, pencapsu perhaps two tacks.
Um, you know these are things that we can use. Um. At
this point, I've established that I'm kind of a knife fingernail cleaner at the
office, but in public, yes, I'm going to do that. Thank
you. Thanks Lunar Kitty. Well thanks, I mean, it's hard to
prove a negative, but I'm sure you're going to keep me out of jail
at some point without advices. True, Lunar Kitty also has a Parthenian shot.
As it were. Lunar Kitty hits us with I mean not so superpower,
but boy of a very arguable utility. Okay, X ray vision,
but it only goes through one layer, so in like moderate weather, let's
say at the beach ring and ding ding. Although my question is this would
the person just appear is just like bone and muscle, except for the bikini
areas, the person being a girl, because I'm imagining me having this,
I am assuming so it's just like a weird, wet and meat monster with
fully visible genitals. Not so superpower. Oh my god, what a great
torturous superpower. So the only way it really works is if the person's wearing
like like like a Green Man suit or something that's funny. Oh really good
one nice, Thanks, Lunar Kitty. And what's the sound of lunar Kitty
in space? That's correct? All right? I have heard from Josie.
Oh, hello, Josie Josiah. Josie actually has an update on her dream.
Oh. She says, a few weeks ago she had a dream where
her favorite wrestler, Ultramendous Black, was teaching her how to drive along with
his stable of wrestlers instead of her dad, which has been the norm for
every time they've gone out, and she's nearly crashed. And also the morning
she wrote this, she woke up and remembered dreaming about avocados and then being
ripe, which is to her super inane, because who dreams about ripe food?
M What do you think? What do you think? What do you
How would you interpret that dream? Driving with a wrestler and then dreaming about
ripe avocados? Too busy googling Ultramantous Black. Never heard of Ultramantius Black.
I actually haven't either. He is he a wrestler in the UK. Also
is his finishing move the head eater? Okay. Ultramantius Black has a couple
of ring names. There's the Black Mantis Insectodispasio UltraMantis and Ultramantus Black Wow at
six feet zero wenches waying two hundred and six pounds build from the Black Tea
Garden and pots unknown, trained by Mike Qua Bush, Reckless Youth, Chris
Hero and Horre Rivera not Rivera, Yes the same, two hundred and six
pounds of twisted steel and sex appeals right. Ultramantius Black was born July seventeenth,
nineteen seventy five, and he wrestles primarily in the Chicara Professional Professional Wrestling
promotion. Wow is in Spain, dude, that guys like my age.
Okay, I could be a pro wrestler. Yes, sit, we all
could. Oh my gosh, listeners, Uh, pro wrestling names for both
me and Flora, mostly me. That's that's awesome. Um wow, I'm
sorry, but when you when you drop the name Ultramantius Black at the beginning
of your story, expect lighter attention from that point board from the the avocados.
Yeah, okay, uh, let's get back to the let's get back
to this then. Okay, Well, the wrestler is in control. He
dominates the ring, he dominates the wheel, he dominates traffic, so of
course things are going to go better right with him. The avocado um is
fatty, which ostensibly is bad for you, but they're the good for you
fats. Yeah, they're part of a really well balanced diet um yeah,
which is good for six reality. Yeah. So really, what the the
avocado is saying is, listen, there's gonna be a lot of things in
you that say, stay away from this, it's too much, you can't
handle it. But it's actually really good for you. And so it's about
it's about sexual freedom, dreams about so thank you very much, so I'm
so glad we could help you with that. Thanks, Joe. Let's see.
Uh oh. Our next email is from listener Danny damn It? Who
Danny damn It? Yes? Pretty much? Um uh oh oh no it's
I'm sorry it's pronounced Danny giblets. Oh Danny, what hits us with?
Uh? This email? O? D o h bosh? I wear farts
for colode. Du take the time to write this? Oh no? Oh,
Okay, So he's got he's got not so superpower two of them.
He's been pretty good at not so superpowers. Yeah, I know, I
know, I know he's he's I hate that. I can't hate him,
Danny, here we go. Spoiled alert the ability to cause any food or
drink to go back instantly. Wow that, since Honey does not spoil it,
is your cryptonite. Nice. That's a really nice thing. Although if
you can cause any food to go back instantly, I think that's like just
a superpower. Pretty powerful. Yeah, I mean pretty powerful. But I
like that you went the extra mile to Yeah, Honey is the christ Nite.
That makes a really good sense. I like I like that there's some
lore there. I like some lore. Yeah, you'll like any lore there,
Hey, Paul, Yeah, Paul, you got any of that lore
like lare Dave? All right, because this guy's got lore low war everybody
like lore. I'll never get all tired of that joke. Also, the
fifty fifty shot your bulletproof, but only to every other bullet Yeah, alternating
bulletproof idness, which is still you know, twice as bulletproof as anybody else's.
That's pretty good. Yeah, this is the part that's hardest to say.
Thank you, Danny Giblets, but for real, thank you. I
have I have a missive from the Soaring Buffalo of Incredulity. I believe it's
put announced Incredulity Bison as well as in Flying the Flying Bison of Incredulity.
The Soaring Buffalo is a new listener. Hey, welcome aboard. Yes,
yes, hello Buffalo. Oh ur huh buffalo call sound Yeah that to get
you some Buffalo likes the show, which we love. And yeah, actually
says great job on the original ghost story. By the way, Ah,
well done, well, thank you, Thorne. Buffalo. Let me just
check my glasses. That Bill Shakespeare over there, and and and useless superpowers
sorry, buffalo has useless superpower perfect. That's what I want. Here we
go ortho proliferation. Okay, you have extendable arms and legs, but just
the bone you can wolverine your whole damn arm snork. Oh wow, best
at one I Oh god, that's brilliant. Yeah wow yeah. Also Flight
of the Navigator neosis. This is a condition granting you the ability to fly.
Oh god, I thought I could go back to the movie Flight of
the Navigator, which is one of the last movies in which Sarah Jessica Parker's
smoking hot. But it grants you the ability to fly, but only through
extreme concentration, requiring you to keep your eyes closed. Oh I like that.
Not bad. Wow, that's that's yeah, that's pretty righteous. And
signs off. He signs off your Native American audience. Oh, how about
them? That's awesome. I love it. Noise, thank you, soaring
buffalo of r dunity. Oh up next to god us there's a missive from
the mill rat, the mule rat. Mummy, Mummy, there's a rats
at the mill what why don't you catch it? We'll have it. Fushm
stay no, no, mummy, this rat is educated. It's ata that
won't educated around. Oh but the middle Rati is mummy. Oh the mill
rat hits us up, loves the podcast, likes what we do, thinks
that we're informative. Well, geez es, this is an educated mill rat.
Indeed. Yeah, welcome aboard um. Listen to the podcast during twelve
hour shifts. Oh fit, just don't listen to it for the full twelve
hours. There's a real like LD fifty on this podcast. The view if
you exceed it only through intensive training from the Peyton Bob Institute of Prolonged Podcast
Listening. Will you be ready? You? You you have to like become
his potwan he and call him sense all. That's right? Uh? Dave
you ever worked twelve hour shifts before? Oh? Yeah, I do it.
I do it to this day sometimes Oh yeah yeah sometimes sometimes the auction
house she requires everything. I uh, I worked at a factory, um,
just out of high school, just for a summer thing, you know,
and there were twelve hours swing shifts. Have you ever done that?
No? You have to. A swing shift is when you you work just
sodomize itself. Their Kadian three on two off, two on, three off,
and each each time you're on, you're switching from days to nights.
Oh yo, pass, Well that's what I mean. I think maybe that's
why we got us a mill rat suspectrum mill worker and uh has a really
I like, it's so good, we're gonna do it. Oh uh And
so I'm not even gonna say it because I don't want to spoilers it,
but mill Rat, you're right, You're right. The hell is it's a
show suggestion. Yeah, yeah, wow, Okay, So we just had
a quick confab and discussed it. Yes, ratified, double triple stamp.
I don't know when we'll get to it, because just ask Edward Edgar Casey.
Sometimes it can take a while for us to get around. But that's
that is definitely on the hot list. We'll played mill Rat, well done,
mill Rat. Everyday look too cold to order? Everyone, please subtle,
please take your seats, each of them. Colderly fashion is a fungi
cat stroke. Thank you for hosting this meeting of the Fancy Feast is prestigious
Glee Cat and Man, Great Cat Fancy Feast, King of Halloween of Halloween,
Great Feast, Useless superpower you ready, I didn't know. I can't
be, It's not possible. And here we go, killer portation, the
ability to teleport, but you're in the body of Helen Killer. I mean
points for integrating the name. You can go wherever you want, but you
won't know where you are and you can't tell anybody why you're there. I
would take that. I would take that way, just so you could just
poof yourself in the middle of like the mall of America and Minnesota, just
and then poof disappear again. And god, I like that. Wow,
it's only quick libel greekd and doleful that too, well done. Yes,
thank you sir. This is the part where I blow out. The MIC's
going La la lana HeLa la la la la la la laa phrasing laa.
It's right, Hey Laana, how do h oh? She says, Hey,
guys, we missed you, and we've missed you as well on shantam
Oh Laana, we've missed you. Don't ever leave one of us. Oh,
well, guess what one of us? She is one of us.
You know why she's been so busy. She just finished her master's congratulations,
moved back to Kentucky, and she has already organized a bigfoot program at the
library Triple Booth. That's right, I like that. She went on vacation
and then got a real professional lady job. Wow, wish I could,
little kid, who here I hurt myself? Oh went on vacation. Wonder
where she went? Yeah, well ride us back loan, got my masters,
flew to parts unknown. That's right, Well, probably she probably wanted
an expedition looking for squatch. She needs to post on injured that that little
success kid and be like completed masters, went on vacation, got a job.
Yeah, that's true. A little fisty kid. That's fisty kidd um.
She's got experts with footmolds, audio video stories. Oh that's awesome.
Yeah, and uh, send us your address. We'll send you some blurry
photober stuff. We'll send you some cards and whatnot. Hand them out to
the people by the way. On the other hand, let them know that
it's a little maybe maybe not, it's a library. And then all these
kids are like mama water sweet sweet tat. I'm willing to take that chance.
Met. She just got the job, though, just got a job.
Let's not rock the boat. Oh man, we know what. I'll
leave it to you, Lana, leave it to you. Yeah, balls
in your court, Lana. And also, is it a job in Louisville
because Louillu Larval. Because we can, we can. Yeah, I'd like
to also take this opportunity to think, uh the twenty fourteen Miscrypted Prize pack
winners Stephen Oh God, yes, because he sent us some righteous bumper stickers.
Yep, yep, yep. I'm gonna throw those stickers on everything.
I'm gonna get fired from my job because there's gonna be a priceless work of
art, blurry photo sticker in the middle of it. I'll be like I
helped it. It looked like nod who doesn't want that? But the point
is Lana, um yeah. Let let us know what when when you're doing
your your big foot now it's October thirtieth, we're gonna go oh okay,
okay, I mean it's just that's true. Might as well be October thing.
Yeah, awesome, that's that's great. No no squatch episodes for for
us. Yeah, but you know, once we do, you can you
can organize another and play us what what's going on? I'm reading the rest
of the listener, man, I'm sorry, I keep rambling. I hope
you're ready for this. I'm not um so um so. She finally got
caught up with the podcast, but um, she got so busy that she
had a nightmare that I was at her house and she took me to the
barn to show to show me her cats, but then we got attacked by
wolves and had to hide in the barn loft. Then I yelled at her
from the rest of the dream because she took me out to a wolf invested
bar. All I'm saying, Lana is that wolves are not quiet creatures.
You knew there were wolves in the barn. Also, awesome first date.
Yeah, but it was okay because I was okay with everything because she made
me a pie and it's true. All right, pie calms me right down.
Where was I Probably probably watching UK basketball, probably driving a giant truck
with a sign on the side that a giant truck on the sign that said
Flora's Pack of Wolves. Enjoy your Bondimestecko. Oh, this has been the
This has been another wolf farm. Yeah, extra feral. So the dream
was what made her decide to catch up on the podcast. Well, yeah,
I'm glad something due. Oh and and a product of the leading year.
That's right, ladies, are you tired of going solo to Jewish weddings
and holy high holidays. Tired of your mother disapproving of your non Jewish boyfriends.
He's nice. I suppose are you at your wits end having to listen
to your already married friends and relatives ask why you're still single? Well,
fly solo no longer. With Solom, the single woman's solution to relationships.
Solom is revolutionized in the dating world. Just visit your nearest available rabbi and
fill out an order for him for your very own Solom. Satisfaction is guaranteed,
and each Solom is custom made to fit your personal taste. Finally,
have a man that can refuse a single thing you want, Literally they can't.
Your Solom will only protect you from the forces of evil, but he
will also follow you every command. Solomons can be upgraded to come with advanced
cleaning skills, and the best part is they never talk about themselves. They
only listen or or now and have your custom made Solomon time for Hanka and
smiths. Just remember, just remember, ladies, why be solo when you
can be with Solo Solomon grow out of control and destroy the world. You're
not responsible for any destruction, order or torture. Some restrictions of place you
rats. That is awesome. Also quick ps from Lana the Badger noises from
the Stoke campfire stories scared her to death. Well good, but at least
something didn't. It's just like a screaming lunatic. I'm sorry. Sorry.
Badger has been going through some ships so under a lot of stress. That
was an awesome letter. Thank you, lonnank you Lona. No no no
no no no no no no no no no no no. If you if
you tried opening up the choke on it a little bit, no no no,
just gotta got it like like open it all the way up and push
the pime button. Mikey Wheels don't care jokes and Micky Wheels gonna choke the
life out of this track. Jesus Christ, We're gonna like stroke out.
We are, hey, Mikey, Mikey Wheels. Oh, Mikey Wheels hits
us with a few get ready strap hand, I hope you're ready. Here's
a poet. It's ticket time all right. After listening to our episode on
Kahokia, he did some research found out that one of the most popular games
they play is called the Kahokia Pokia Oh, that's what it's all about.
I put my right foot in up your right turbocharged. Mikey says he hasn't
tried eaching at all, but he does tend to practice in a bit of
the belching once in a while. Is that following eating? Mike Wheels got
the latest Game Informer in the mail, and apparently Studio Ghibli has a game
in the works called the Ninokuni Incident. Recently, during the filming of a
Hobbit, there was a weird phenomenon discovered. You heard about this. They
filmed in South America and they encountered the Nasgo lines so much backfire you just
spit all over my leg. Sorry, that's pretty embarrasing. That's pretty good,
good distance. He's really spitting there. Everybody. Oh one more,
one more, one more lab, one more lab. Mikey Wheels says,
uh. He thinks fans of the podcast, since we were asking, could
be called flecos. Oh sounds sounds like that quarterback. It does sound like
Joe Flacco. That quarterback sounds like that. You know what, We've We've
long been in love with sports and athletic achievement, So I mean, what
what could be more fitting with my buddy Joe Flacco on new podcast Mask.
He perhaps my favorite player on the Ravens. No, no, no,
no, it's it's called Blurry Photos. It's it's a it's it's a podcast
about the unknown. Um. But they're also kind of funnier. They make
a lot of jokes. Um. Then their mascot is a football quarterback.
Um. You know, uh, you know like that. It's it's one
of those. Well, thank you, head into the pit, get those
get those tires changed out, because you got a lot of get a lot
of road ahead of you, buddy. We got a email from jar Captain
Nate. Captain Nate. Now, when we first heard of him, he
was first Matenate. But it's been a good year for him. Sorry,
I just bostoned it up there for well, you know, he has his
best friend to Boson, Oh Boson, Charlie Boson Wells. Okay, I
gotta tell everyone this right now by way of a public service announcement. Flora
and I are sort of obsessed with like a two minute YouTube video of Orson
Wells from the early seventies, can drunk trying to record a TV commercial for
like American like California, champagne. Google it, YouTube it and watch it.
It is. It is a crime that they only recorded two takes of
this commercial. I guess technically three. Yeah. First, he was like,
and the things that you should make note of is that it starts with
take one, So it's not like he was there for a long time and
just drank a bunch of champagne got drunk. He showed up blasted and he
is the best kind of drunk uncle, slurring idiot drunk that in Flora and
I can't stop like, I think the script set opened with ah, the
French champagne, and every take starts with oh, the French champagne. Oh,
champagne. Watch it, You're welcome. Oh yeah, how did we
get there? From Captain Nate? What's in the captain's log though? Yeah,
that's right. Okay, a couple of things. First of all,
Captain Nate bought a ten dollars cabinet a yard sale, uh, and needed
something to listen to while he refinished it. Oh that's that's a good call.
Good news. No dippo, it is a dipock Liss cabinet. Yeah
that's awesome. But likes the podcast Catching Up a Square one and he's all
the way up through MK Ultra. So making some good work, didn't done?
Yeah? Also, did you hear about the new film that pagan mystics
who run into trouble after smoking too much sacred herbs. It's called Druid Where's
My Car? King Glorious? And this is why how you know it's quality
you apologize afterwards? Oh yeah. Also, Uh, there's a new generation
of young people who are very big into technology, social networking, and wizardry.
They're known as the Merlin Ennials. Wow. Yeah, Well he's this
guy. He knows there's a reason he's captain. This guy he gets it,
gets it. Uh. You know, they're finally making a film that
looks like uh that that looks at the Merlin story from another angle. They
tell a variation where instead of using a stick to perform magic, he actually
carries a goldfish with him as is his true source of power. I don't
know where this is going, and I'm very excited to find out. The
movie will be out next year and it's called The Fish called wand wow,
you painted a picture? You painted? Follows it up with there's no apology
good enough for that one? Uh? And so so thank you, thank
you. Captain Naton also said, we've mentioned ergotism a number of times and
maybe maybe, uh see again, that's as far as I'm gonna go with
it, because you know, I don't I don't like to spoilers in Okay,
we're gonna get another one from Captain night here. Now he's in the
middle of our first Bullstone episode. Wow he is, Yeah, he really
is. He is hustling and loving it, loving it. I really like
the opening. Yeah, we're gonna keep that up and gives us a really
good suggestion of a great read that involves multiple time traveling versions of yourself.
It's a short story called My Wife Hates Time Travel? Oh interesting? Uh
did you know that some historians thought that Blackbeard was actually a candy maker?
No? Yeah, see when they read about the fierce pirates sitting outside the
port demanding medicine, you know, otherwise death would come to the captives.
All the historians read was Blackbeard made Charleston choose. I notice I noticed that
there is no apology after that one that should have had the guest. Yeah,
he just dropped that on the table and said, dig in, I'll
be in the basement. I'll be in the hold. And also, um
he was born and raised in Alaska and has some harp stories. Wow,
yea, they are timbers. Never be shimbered, Captain Nate said, shimbered.
We drink when we record, and we are never bored, and we
really want Antonio Brown to make a touchdown. I was, I was watching
the Pittsburgh Steelers play and I couldn't stop making up dumb songs about Antonio Brown.
And we're keeping this touchdowns here. I was with my finger on the
cut button. That's right. Nope, Oh, this is how the Brownies
get made, right, Thanks Captain Nate. Oh, I'll thank you.
I'll coptain Nate d I don't know. Shut up, all right, boy,
were you George Lucas's racist envisioning of the Nabu trade ministers? Is that
what that was all about? Gone out the ventilationship. I'm not going to
survive this, um cause, hey, check this out. We have heard
from Ironicus, whats hero of Spotto. That's right, the baby that would
not die on the mountain side. Did Ironicus keep saying this is Sparta even
when he clearly wasn't in Sparta, Because it's not that it's the baby that
had a spoon. Need uh the yeah, Ironicus defined as contrary to that
which is expected. Oh uh, Ironicus just started listening to the show,
but he's enjoying it. I wish that we had a gift of you and
I in like gone with the wind gowns and fans going. We'll make that
happen. Yeah, he says. A little known fact about Kahokia was their
social safety net that provided payments to people too injured to work. Oh yeah,
sounds pretty good. Only physical injuries qualified, leading to the oft repeated
phrase sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never chert me.
Oh nice. Oh you think he's done, thanks cohok Obama. Yeah,
yeah, that was the Obama. That's better. Ironicus liked the Tall
Tales episode, but we overlooked something, Dave. Oh shit, how practical
they can be. Oh. For example, there were once two farmers.
One always had huge bumper crops and the other was constantly jealous. That jealous
one started spying on his more successful neighbor to learn his secret, and every
morning and every night, as he tended the fields, the skilled farmer would
recite tall Tales. Not a word of the stories were true. But they
were so evocative and well told that the jealous farmer came to enjoy his espionage.
Eventually he got impatient and demanded to know the secrets of this neighbor's high
yields. The first farmer smiled and said, it's simple to grow better crops.
You just need to fertile lies. Two fertile lies, two fertile lies.
Yet, and now some mundane superpowers. Spiro kinesis the ability to move
video game characters with your mind. Wow, that's a that's a deep cut
Spiro the dragon. Yeah, lace reaching way back. And then the ability
to make pictures of your skeletons split apart, X ray fishing Bane of Radiologists.
Oh, he is not done, not by a long shot. Ironicus
was going through the backlog and not surprised that we overlooked yet another thing in
episode sixty five. Are so unspeakably stupid. Our favorite book dealer had many
other tombs in his collection, but one is never mentioned by history. Because
it was actually very dull, with nothing remarkable about it. It became known
as the Voinage Nondescript. There's virtually nothing I could say to describe it.
I mean, it was rather nondescript. Yeah, not much to it.
And then one more bring it. This is an interesting fact about the Eaching.
The Man in the High Castle is a novel from Philip K. Dick.
Yeah, he consulted the Eaching to determine the co the plot, and
many characters in it to do the same for various reasons. Of course,
there's an even older Chinese oracle that fell away from history. It was made
from the skin of livestock that had suffered from mites. They called it the
it Ching, often translated as the Book of Manges. That's great and gross
fun fact. When I was in college, I was taking a class on
science fiction and we were reading the seminal work by Philip K. Do Android's
Dream of Electric Sheep, and we had just finished reading Neuromancer by William Gibson,
and he goes, well, he's one thing you have to understand,
as though while they both kind of are into this dystopian future, William Gibson's
is very flashy and lasers and ands, and Philip K. Dick is it's
it's more about the people. It's more about the you know, the bland
details. And he was saying this the opening of a class and he's like,
but I'll tell you what, you know, if you really stick it
out, you guys will find like, given enough time, you really will
develop a taste for dick. And he just stopped and just looked down and
he goes, there's no coming back from that. You're all out, Get
you're done, Get out of here. It was like a four minute class.
Yeah, He's like, go go, you're you're He had that planned
all day, probably all day and day. Wow, thank you, ironicous
for all the missives. Thank you for joining the old blurry photos train.
Indeed, getting on at that stop and never getting off, it's like snow
pier. Sir, have you ever seen that? Did you watch that?
We watch watched it listen ever since the core? I don't, I don't.
I don't watch movies with laser trains. Have a rule. Now when
they made me have a rule, I could argue with you, but I
won't. What do you got, I've got a I had an email from
our friend Ben Ben Ben p. The P stands for a posse in effect.
Um, he's got a great story. Um what is it? It's
kind of a haunted dream story. So when he was in college. Uh,
he was an RA and it was in this old apartment building and the
other RA was his best friend since he was a kid, Like they went
to school together. And while they lived in this apartment, like a lot
of weird things would happen, noises and things like that, and they would
joke that it was that it was haunted. But one night he had a
dream. And he likes like horror movies and things like that. He doesn't
get spoked easily, but he had a dream that he's the tough guy normally.
Normally I'm like a halo jumper into areas of political unrest and I like
kill all the bad guys but save all the good people. So it's like
normally I'm don't get scared. And also one time I crossed the river sticks
because dead guy oled me twenty dollars. Right, I get scared when kids
just don't get fed. My name is, my name is. My name's
Ben posse Un effect. You know I'm here to wreck all of us,
so you also don't worry. I went to college and I was an R.
I was like a nurturing mentor to a lot of younger kids because it's
like they need somebody to look up to, because a lot of them they
won't get fed because like a lot of them will like pussies. But I
was like, hey, well, being a bunch of pussies, you want
to come with me to af Blandestan because I'll show you what's up. When
I left, it was af Blandistan because it was so boring, because I've
fixed it. Also, the children got fed. I've been I hope that
Ben's going I don't sound anything like that. I don't understand why they're making
me into that guy. Also, how did we get there? Why did
they put whipped cream on my spice? I specifically ordered soy and no no,
I hate that. Sorry Ben, but we're not stopping. I just
left my dojo, where I had killed every mast I could find. When
so he just had this wondering that scared the Bejesus out of him, But
it was really simple. He dreamt that he was laying in his bed on
his side and heard a man screaming from fire above. It was a continuous
scream that was getting louder and louder, as if someone were falling from a
great height toward him. He was a little panic because it sounded as the
man was going to fall right on his head, and the scream got louder
until he's screaming right in his ear and it felt like his open mouth was
touching his face. Jesus, it was your roommate, dude, And that's
what startled him away. And he sat up and he swore he could still
fair feel the warmth of it on his cheek, and he told his friend
about it, and his friend was like, Oh, maybe it's the ghost
of the apartment. Two weeks later, during an RA outing, his friend
and him and six other reputable resident assistants from this from the main dorm,
they went camping. Okay, here's the thing. If you were all RAS
and you go camping together, you're gonna get murdered. I've seen a lot
of documentaries on Netflix about this also in the eighties. Yeah, So around
the campfire, they were starting to scary stories from around the campus, and
his friend was like, Oh, I'm going to totally dump on my friend
Ben and tell him this story. What was the story about about the about
the haunting apartment? But another guy who had been in RA for several years
interrupted his friend and said, yeah, no, there was this ra a
few years ago, who was the last one to be in the overflowed dorm
prior to us it was getting kind of specific. Now he was totally creeped
out by the apartment. He used to tell the story of a dream they
where some guy fell off the roof and landed on his face, and he
always said he could feel the guy's breath on him after he woke up.
We wait, this is the other people that had the same exact, hyper
specific dream. EXU want bowels? Yeah, exactly, Oh and he did,
but they chased by a bear. Here's the thing. Neither of them
had told anybody about the dream. He was just saying, oh the reports.
Yeah, So what do you think that is? He says, is
a shared dream, residual memory, ghost coincidence. Creepy. Also, he
uh, he works over in the West Coast in the animation business, a
bigoon. So if we're ever over there, we're gonna we're gonna hit you
up. That's going to happen. That'll happen. I refuse to miss that
hop opportunity. Sorry, Ben, Hey, where's that big Ben's that guy
of feeds all those kids? Has he done kicking ices his thess what us
up, little mc good. I'm just getting more you have some fun.
My god, I'm gonna get a team pregnant. I noticed, is what
Ben work? Because none of you look like pussy? Why why do we
then that's you? We know you're better than that? Or is it?
Oh that's awesome? Thank you, thanks Ben. Yeah, that sounds like
and also he says, we're eastern k hokey and chirt barns. We are,
we are. We have the top hats to prove it. Shut about,
thanks Ben. Uh. It sounds to me like a like a residual
ghost, but only in dreams. That's that's a new one. Yeah,
but you know what, that would make sense to me, like hypnogogic state
your most Yeah, that I buy that kind of show. It also like
if you're in hot people, that's a really great shy weight haunt people.
Oh my gosh, that that is Yeah, that is creepy and I'm putting
into my pocket for what I die. Maybe he was just truffling this will
let be sad. Go to sleep, nap, to sleep nap, dreaming
dream just don't sweeting on. Moving on from the best dream to the worst
emails. Who oh Goolden talks as a man in town and he is responsible
for the sausages, and Viva call him this sausage man. No, because
he has knock versed once brought versed. It's but it's it's so many different
kinds of versed. But he is all man. Maybe viver call him man
versed. No first no no no nine nine nine nine nine. Never call
him a vast man. Goolden talk care verst man. How did you blot
us today? I'm so hungry fore and if you don't bring us the sausage
very dead? What if ding I need your d enough for my ding d
ding ding? Your sausages mine? Oh your sausages. I'd kick you into
your front? Can ding? I dance? I dance for a ding ding?
I kick you? I sing sing? It does require like a four
second silence and then a double down. Oh wow. Um Well, he
has swept up every last nasty bit from the floor, put it in the
grinder, and we have some pun links. Bring them out, bring him,
bring him, bring him boil my puns and beer. First, Adam
says he hasn't has it written in a while trying to get up and by
the way, topical. Can't stop using your terrible German accent every chance he
gets sweet terrible? How about a poun all right then? Ri Em frontman
Michael Stipe once recorded a soulful single for his Native American fans centered around the
ancient civilization of Kahokia. Go ahead and take a listen to that great hit.
Everybody shirts. Sometimes he's not done play chunky with your friends, he
says. Did you know that DARPA found funded a workout program to get sexually
programmed robots or sex spots into shape, really, so as to resist the
power of kat. Nothing says anti American like a chubby sex spot. Of
course, this program mostly involved them dancing. They called it eroticized, Roboticized
Jessersize, or alternatively project. Why are we still funding this? I think
there's a lot of projects with that name. Colonel cancel production of the Rubenesque
bots. Adam also play that order, Sir, I like them, I'll
allow it. He really liked the dark episode brought out the inner nerd in
him. Nice. Speaking of cool science crap, apparently he read an article
about a machine that's been built that can read brain right waves and turn them
into binary code. And then send them to somebody else. Sweet. I
think I heard about that too. I think they might have mentioned that on
Mysteriust Year Universe. But very very cool. Nonetheless, you know, and
now for puns. Did you know, mister Casey that's of the Edgar variety's
tried to go into osteopathy for himself. Really apparently he was very good at
it. When he wasn't in his trance, he had no idea what he
was doing. One man who sought his help was so incensed. He described
his experience with Edgar and he quotes osteopathetic sick burn. It's an ointment for
that burn, Eddie. So bad, so bad, But luckily he has
a bonus punic unrelated to mister Casey, did you know that some of our
listeners are organizing a music festival fundraiser to raise awareness for some sort of terminal
disease? No, I hadn't heard of this. He didn't know that much
about it because the lead organizer, who the festival is named after, didn't
really seem all that optimistic about it anyway, and in fact told him it
doesn't matter because we all die eventually. Watch out for any developing news about
dark lemonaide. Oh nice, oh pun on listener, Wow, I love
it. Wow, I like that. I like that a lot, And
that is exactly what I'm into. Adam truly the west Man, the first
man, Adam. If I can just like the best first oh nine nine,
it's happened, thank you Vestman. And so in conclusion, this particular
Archipela archipelago in the southern portion of Japan uh is very susceptible to tsunamis.
And so what I want us to do is build some sweet shinto Jesus.
That took no time at all. Why do we keep preparing for natural occurrences
when this damn mecca John Zilla is right off the coast. I I'm going
home. I'm going home. I'm taking a vacation. Me and Mitsuko,
we've been fighting a lot lately there and a lot of stress in the marriage.
I love translating for you Americans, but I just I just need some
time for me. A lot of stress on that poor guy what's his name?
You know? Translator translator two six for three. Poor guy John was
right there right outside the window. John Zilla hits us with Monday and superpower.
Yeah, it's a dollar saved. The ability to perpetually have exactly one
dollar in your pocket. As long as you never use that dollar, you
can actually achieve this. Everyone can have a superpower. Yeah, you can
just put it on in your pocket, never use it. Oh did you
know that? Travelers uh often tell a story of a um preparious stock thatchers
now call call it your your your your your pun? What a trader?
Yeah, your pun trader the guy on the inside. Travelers often tell the
story of a creature they encounter on the road. It's not just particularly dangerous,
but it can be very annoying. It's tall and thin and dresses in
black suits, and it likes to keep passers by from continuing on their journey
by talking at length. They're just getting in their way. Folks call him
the Hinderman. Oh ding ding Ding. The highest performing puns per episode by
a long shot. This is the Peyton manning pun episodes Mecca. John Zabilla,
not surprisingly given his Mecca Mecca ways interested in EVPs, would like a
particular link sent unto him. Oh yeah, hang onto that so I remember
to send it to him. You got it? And also on Facebook,
we got a glorious high five from the the eternal foil to Mecca john Zilla
goth Zilla. Oh yeah, she's from New Zealand. Can you just yeah
send us a recording because um, here's the thing, it's a it's a
tough accent. I used to do my research for a post doc who is
from the South Sath Island. He's from Dunedin, which is not far off
I mean Chicagole, wow, but going. But that's those like the words
that he used a lot of the words that I could keep. But I
love New Zealand. Uh and I love christ Church. I went through there
when in the Antarctic program and it was great. We need recordings because the
hardest word to say is no, and this is what we've got. No
Ni nine. It's not bad, right, I don't know. I'm not
a different route, but none. Anyway, We love you goth Zilla.
We love you Mecca john Zilla. May you forever struggle in the briny depths
of the Pacific Ocean's right heard from? Get this a different Adam? What
that's correct? Oh? Is this the best man? This? It could
be. It's just the average man. Reserve your judgment, Okay, Adam,
Kay is hitting us up? Just discovered our podcast so many good things
to say. Oh man, fantastic podcast. I just I love reading glowing
reviewers. Oh thanks, thank you though seriously, Also, you'll be happy
to know this Stecco episode sixty nine, you know, the old Oak Island
episode. Oh yeah, he totally knows one tin Soldier nice He said his
mom used to listen to it when he's young, and he really fell in
love with it when it was covered by me first in the Gimme gimmess.
Nicey, I reference that, yep, he says. He hereby declares Stecco's
honor officially defended. Yeay, my honor. And in episode sixty eight Thunderbirds,
we forgot to mention a lesser known thunderbird. Oh really, yeah,
because we thought we cover them all we're bad at or just positive that we
cover them morally certain of it, We're awful. Uh. It's particularly clumsy
species of bird known as the blunderbird. Oh yeah, that was that.
That That was a telegraph punch stock coming and I rolled with it. And
finally we didn't mention his favorite type of dream in our two parter. It's
a dream in which the dreamer is sharpening some kind of bladed weapon. It's
called a wet dream the seat for me, those are both because I really
liked to sharpen knives. It works both ways. Love come a bit closer
and oh day what diday? Oh yeah, sexual mongers beating around a neat,
some traveling enjoying England right now I'm saying I'm putting down roots, but
enjoy my time. Thank you, Adam, Kay, thank you Adam all
right? Oh man, the poet laureate of the podcast Taper Taper, that's
right, bringing it in. We haven't heard from Taper for a while,
so welcome back. Doctor. You know, you know it's honorary doctorate.
You are not allowed to set up a practice. Hard to say that,
though, since we haven't, we haven't. It's on us. Shut up,
shut up, um and uh. And he starts right off with a
kick in the crotch. Oh right, the ding ding, Right in the
ding ding he kicked us, and that we I don't need to wonder anymore.
You know what would happen if Taper kicked me in the ding ding?
Um. It's from our DARPA episode talking about Arpanette and the Internet. But
currently we don't understand computer time sharing. Okay, processor procedures. I don't
feel bad about that. What does he say about how time sharing UM made
it so each second of a computer's time is split among different users, which
I thought that I had said. I don't know. I'm not gonna go.
I remember I said, UM, it was like the whole computer if
somebody wasn't using it in Idaho and somebody in Michigan could could use it,
or something like that. So it's simultaneously it's cyclical using. I think I
think I did talk about that a little bit, but I don't know.
Man. If there's one thing I don't know, it's the dawn of the
computer age. Uh well, well, I will completely see that that was
a factually incorrect thing. I don't think. I think it's outside our jurisdiction.
Well, I don't know. I'm not telling what. I would argue
that we would have to be extradited to computer podcast town. I'll have to
say, though, that we presented it in a way that made it seem
like we knew what we were talking about. Damn it. I'll go to
the penalty box for both of us. Oh thank god, because I can't.
I can't survive in there anymore. Yeah, you you had a harsh,
harsh go of it. He's last last run. Yeah, that was
a reference, all right, so good, Okay, you're convicted. I'll
take it for us. Um Also, uh uh, Taper is right there
with me with the spiders. He went to Guatemala once. Giant tarantula on
the bus. I'm sorry. Scorpion on the pillow, under the pillow.
Good, okay, scorpions too. Yeah, scorpions are just so cool though.
Have you ever seen a score? Have you ever like run into one?
No? I mean yeah, because if it'll go shopping a lot or
anything like that, I'm not downtown when it's Christmas, you know, form
for most of them, for most of America. I think scorpions are like
a thing for the Discovery Channel in zoos. Yeah. But and I didn't
know this until it happened to me that there are scorpions in Calle Toorado running
the coume uck. And I had one run over my hand on a job
site in eastern Colorado. And a scorpion, just like out in the world
without glass or containment is terrifying. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a ragnedes
dude. Yeah, no, thank you, no, thank you. Also,
This is a great fun fact true story. According to Taper, I
swear to God, if you're lying to me, I'll find you. Gonzalo
Himenes di Cassada. After his expedition to find the El Dorado find Eldorado failed
his law background, he actually went into pioneering legal innovations in New Granada slash
Columbia, Okay. And his greatest achievement was a new smaller torta. The
tortilla for realsis yeah, we still use those things. See. The real
city of Gold was his own imagination. It was. And how about a
couple of mondaye super bowers. I'll take him X way vision the ability to
see through cottage cheese. How about vehicular near summoning, the ability to,
no matter where you are, call up a taxi to splash a mud on
you as it drives by. Wow, I think I might have that.
Yeah, I need to control that power better. Yeah, maybe meditation.
And how about this for a Splitzberg. The were wolf, of course,
is a man that turns into a wolf, but some say there is a
wolf were should be a wolf that turns into a man. A warewear is
a wolf that under on the light of the full moon turns into another but
different Wolf's a lot of ways this goes weird. Yeah yeah, and also
a couple of ideas for names for our listeners blurry photographers. Yeah, but
he thinks that actually refers to us. He would put forward lens caps.
Good, Yeah, because that's a that's tip of the lens cap to you.
Thanks Taper, Thank you Taper. Heard from Wes What we west?
Where what West? Oh? He probably doesn't like that. Got a pond
for us? Bring it. He has information about a Canadian research program that's
trying to weaponize fish who it's called carpa. Very nice West, very nice.
I think, thank you, ting ting Ting. Well, it looks
like our tall Tale episode starting up again a podcast. No, these are
the sounds that come from the the shadowy caves deep where Connor the word Smith
is fashion shinning each and every syllable to make it ring like silver in the
years of listeners, eat your heart out of feastus. I can't believe that
I just rattled that off and worked out really well. Yeah yeah, I
was in I was inflamed by his glory less so that didn't quite make sense.
Oh, Connor hits us with this from the fiery forges of Vulcanabularium.
Vote Volcabularium from the fiery forges of Vocabularium. He brings both stories of sleep
and some superpowers, and a suggestion, Oh wow, Yes, Connor used
to talk in his sleep, and I did too. Yeah, I used
to think I did, but I clearly don't. I I can't do it
in the summer because my ac and it's too loud. But in the winter
I record myself using a phone app because I was afraid that I was like
snoring too much. Good news, not really bad news is I don't I'm
talking my sleep and I thought I did, and I always thought that was
cool. Damn it. But they did say they were all staying in a
hotel once and his friends saw him sit up and say pass the potatoes and
then proceed to like fake eat whatever he thought was in front of him,
which is awesome. Wow. Also, he thinks he saw the face of
a demon during sleep once. Yeah. I have dreams about Flora too.
Sometimes suck at Flora, cut it out, stoppered, layoff meum. But
it was towards the end of the dream was a face with huge eyes and
terrifying features and it was just red and black and you know, uh,
he woke up screaming. It kind of makes me think of was that that
you see like a little gifts of it online gifts with a hard get.
I don't want to hear out of any as it's gifts blurry photos is taking
a stand ye, gift, it was gif D. We're not giving anyone
anything. Um of that. It's like a Norwegian I want to say,
a movie about a guy with a demon and like these people keep kind of
like seeing it and then it's gone. And there's this just super spooky scene
of like the camera shifting because you just see the guy standing and as the
camera shifts you realize there's someone standing right behind him and it's like this black
and red, super spooky demon thing. Moogy boogie, I haven't seen that.
Oh it's it's we'll track it down after this. I'm gonna find it.
Bridges, Yeah, briches, don't don't know if I want to see
it, Yeah, yeah you do. Everyone wants to shoot their bridges,
Flora everyone. Um. But the reason he thinks it was more than nightmare
is because it was how deeply it affected him is that right before he started
screaming and woke up. His mom saw the same face. Yeah, where
she doesn't say, I assume she was also asleep. Maybe, how strange.
Yeah, that's kind of again shared dream experience. Yeah. How about
some munday and superpowers. Well, I'll take them. I'll take them.
Situational specific alopecia in times of stress and danger, all body here falls off.
Oh my gosh, very good for the Olympics. Yeah, that's true.
Also, you could like rob a bank. Yeah. Well yeah,
telepathy through ventriloquy project your thoughts into others much like you would have dummy,
and you can argue with yourself through another person. That's just a superpower.
Yeah, that's just a straight up superpower, because you can. You could
do some damage with it. Yeah you can. You could presidential address that.
Yeah, and I will not stop until America brings back the high score
on Donkey Kong. He need it, he need it. Also, Connor
the Words with Wordsmith would love an episode on the Tanguska explosion. Oh really,
yeah, boy, Kna, that's gonna be a tough call. Yeah.
I don't know if we'll ever get to him. Man, we might
not get to that tilt, next mic drop. Yeah, Connor, get
out of our brains. Sorry, Connor, buckle up, dude. In
the tournament Nesta literally means I bowed to Yousta. I'm pretty sure I've had
people say it to me, and I'm positive they meant fuck you, Dave.
I'm positive it's weird how that can be used like that. Thanks Connor.
The word Smith. Now back to the forage with you. Back to
the fuck lord. What do you get? You'll never believe this, Dave,
But we heard from Alex Jones of America. I've been telling you to
get passed and find us. He's been emailing us for months. We finally
got a letter through. Is just a big ad for water filters. Strangely
enough, it's not Alex Jones of America is all in capital letters. Well,
everything he does it, and he lives his laugh in all caps,
says Caplocked America says, we consistently rate as the funniest hour of his week.
Usually at work, he's smiling like a moron or laughing out loud.
We'd like to hear that without meaning to, He says he's been slathering big
spoonfuls of pun butter on people's toast, most often with the nutritious pun butter
on rye, followed by an apology sandwich garnished with shame. Yes, that
is a lunch anyone can be forced to eat. A true story. Had
a recent barbecue. A woman was telling him about how she had once performed
in the Vagina Monologues veritable of vagina monologue monologue, and then later she was
telling everyone about her work as a cardiac nurse, all with different types of
disease she treats. He said, perhaps your next performance will be the Angina
Monologues. Oh nice, he says, Bam, what's that? Nurse lady?
Why are you gasping for air? Oh? I see you're choking on
a mouthful of organic pun butter. Wow, Alex Jones of America, you're
a hard son of a bitch. What an enemy has become our closest friend.
Way to go your ticket? Thanks are right? Yeah, thank you,
sir. Oh well, we got we got an email here from your
mama, Oh mine, literally your mother. Well, what's what you have
to say? Hello missus Flora? Sorry about all the swears? Oh she
didn't care? Yea yeah. By this point, it's been two years Uh.
She makes a really good point about our Bullstone episode about time travel.
Oh nice, that if we travel into the future, the person to us
that's there would know that we traveled into the future and would not only not
be shocked to see us, but would actually be like when the father they're
going to show up. Well, yeah, it's a very good point.
She's right. Uh, your mother's wise. And there's only one way to
argue that, and that is if you're doing it for the first time in
that timeline, you get that, you get that, and you know how
it's like like there's multiple instances of of of doing the things. Yeah,
but I still think it first, there has to be a first time of
it. I think it would still red con because that's because you go to
visit, you go back, and then you track forward again. Yeah,
but that if if you're the first incarnation of that happening, well, and
that's what if you're the first incarnation of going forward in time, the you
from the future wouldn't have done that by then. See. But that's then
it gets into like, well, are there parallel yeah, you know dimensions?
Is it going to split off? Maybe it's the first time for each
one of them, But it's just everybody makes different decisions, so it branches
out. Oh wow, lurp. So but a very good question though.
Nonetheless that's how that's how we Yeah, that's how we get to the fun
stuff is questions like that. Also, um, she has another important question.
She thought that David Flora was supposed to be wearing the eye patch in
the lego pick, but I was wearing it. What's up? Uh?
Well, I mean no, she deserves an answer for she Yeah, she
does. But the I didn't tie the picture that I made for the episode
directly into our intro. I mean so like, besides, wouldn't you have
brick if if I had given myself the bionic guy and not you? I
get pretty possessive about our fictional bionic appendages. Yeah, missus Flora, he
was just being like a really good friend to a guy who's doesn't take disappointment.
Well, you constantly talk about wanting to get cyborg yes parts, cyborg
parts so much besides that timeline never happened. Also, I'm wearing glasses,
That's true. A little harder to do my lego sharpie one lens in.
But yeah, thanks thanks for say thank you to your mother. Thanks for
calling us out. Is Laura heard from anxious try tip the trip that's the
that's the most nervous cut of beef. Our discussion on bood coins made anxious
try tip think of a story where there was a sale of a one point
six milldow house bitcoins and details from the process of turning bitcoins into real fucking
money. A Lake Tahoe property sold for one point six milldos in bitcoins that
noise get straight into right. Thanks for sending us that anxious trat tip.
Fucking bitcoins, man, Yeah, they can't. You can't get Oh I
love it your rage. Your bitcoin rage is my favorite thing. I just
you should not be able to just create a currency and then let it go,
let it like fly. You know what I'm getting for Halloween bitcoin costume
for your dog. He's gonna run around like a little bitcoin. No,
and I'm money, but you can't have me. Should have invested in middle
earlier. Oh man, that's awesome. Do you hear that? What?
Oh? Well, it's simply a dramatic guitar from the dish of the Darkest
Desert. A single lone warrior rides a mighty white steed. Do the hacienda,
do once again reclaim his birth right and make safe life and liberty for
all of the people of the hacienda who are not being served as well by
Sargeant Garcia. This is the tear of don't look. Children. Children gather
around as I read to you another tail. Oh, don't look. Who
is a close personal friend of mine? And one time offered to take me
on a long weekend for a camping. He ended up getting sick and good
and go, but the offer was still quite generous. And some day,
ray Jack, Ray Jack, He's going to be a great weekend. Carrero,
sergeant, don't look? Who is my friend? Children? I did
not lying here we are sockhouse. I know times I've been difficult in the
huss I know this, this is true. I have still started crying long
nights till these shadows grew dark, but trying to come up with some meager
pun with rich to lift spear. The most meager part of don't look is
like a feast from a fancy can't But I could not create one single Kjokia.
Oh do you see while he says, pretending he does not have one,
he's giving you one. Listen, children, stop crying. Perhaps I'm
growing old and should have joined the Research Institution for the elderly. War Harp
is in virtive for retirees. But don't look, so I could not even
tell you. How are you twenty two? Are you eighty two? Is
impossible? Your skin is als. Perhaps it is for the best. I
will see you in the morning with love. I don't look, And when
the sun rises, so too well, my spirits for don't look will be
with us again. Children heard from new writer oh a reanimated bit? What
it's animates? Reanimated bit? Animated? An? Uh? I says Hi
Florence, like, oh Hi, I've been listening to your podcast for some
time and have tried to spread it around as best he could lather it,
considering we're the only podcast he listens to. We appreciate that, though,
Um, and then there is something something he's yet to see. Are there
any insectoid cryptids? Man? You know, we've we've kind of gotten close
to it here and there. But um, as an entomologist, I should
know that, and I don't. Well, we yeah, we've hit on
a couple here and there. I mean Mongolian deathworm would would fall sort of
into this category, and I feel like there was a there was another one
that we might but it's yeah, it's it's a good question. That's that's
really hard. Um, we'll have to we'll have to check in. Yeah,
that's a that's a really good question. I feel like honor bound to
know the answer that and I don't. Yeah, I mean there's a lot
of there's I mean, like the manticor has sort of a scorpion tail.
You know, there's lots of little bits and pieces that are incorporated. But
yeah, interesting, And he says he thinks that the knuckle of E's probably
the most metal cryptid he has yet to hear about. It is pretty metal.
It's got a song. It's got a song. It's not a metal
song. A flesh it's right, rides a horse, part of a horse,
all of a horse, some of a horse. It's it's pretty much.
It's a living eternal guitar riff. Yeah. Yeah, well it's probably
the bridge after the kind of riff. Maybe they're in the same band.
Well they're they're both Irish. Yeah, so perfect, Thank you reanimated bit
oh bringing that bit back? We got one from Gerald. Oh, hi,
Jeryl, haven't heard from you? For a while. Welcome back,
sir from you Gerald. Huge fan of our German techno laugh track vault if
I kicked you and sedgting what is this song nowt oh Man. So uh,
he's absolutely going to rip that for his ring tone. Yeah, I
wants to know if there's a single track available for the song. Well at
the moment, no, but I I personally very much want to record a
full version of it and shoot a music video. I really want to do
that. It's still worse. It's like two minutes of a like a concrete
ledge and black and white. Oh god. Yeah, the camera's like shaky
and there's lots of like like complete like like found like a reused old black
and white footage. Yeah, and then like some of its inverted um like
color. So oh god, the black stuffs white. Yeah. Yeah,
oh god, we'll see. We're sometimes these things do themselves. Yeah,
we don't him to do much work. So I really want that to happen.
So that's on the that's on my personal wish. Last Thanks Gerald,
Thanks Gerald, and that's it. Gerald did not write anything else to us.
He certainly didn't call me out to the penalty box. Yeah, he's
right. I used a word wrong, and he's right because I implied that
your case, he had some superhuman ability to recall information which he claims to
have had, which I said was made him an autodidact, which literally just
means that he was self taught. Oh yeah no, and I mean I'm
I'm not gonna try to wiggle. You're right, the cuffs are on and
I'm going, yeah, you better not back take this jail that they just
had time on for that. Yeah. No, I'm laying down on the
face down on the floor. I give up. Wow, good caller,
Jerald. He apologizes, But it's just too much fun to listen to us
suffer. So right, that's right that we invented a part of the podcast
that we're genuinely like, I really don't want to get don't think got me.
Yeah, that's how you know it's working. That's true. What do
you got, Flora? Thank you? Thank you Jerald for writing in.
Yeah, thank you Gerald. And heard back from the skating on pigs,
eating five jacks, chopping down trees, gonna run all day. I fell
down, No, it's a great lake and dropped my pen and that's a
canyon. Love of Jack Nick he's wrecking the countryside. He's making mistakes and
carving up the country. Um, that would be great at this, just
like a giant clumsy person. And that's the reason. Like, oh,
well, you know he didn't tie his shoes and fell down and that's the
rio grand Yeah, yeah, well, Uh, Lumberjack Nick writes us about
the Edgar Casey show, there was there was something in there, And Lumberjack
Nick writes in about a comment we made, And I think that Nick took
a lot of time to write down some very good thoughts about his faith and
uh and something that that we we had said. But I think there was
a slight um misunderstanding in here, um because Nick, I think you you
thought we were talking about the Bible predicting future events and stuff. What we
were actually referring to was the show that's on the fricking History Channel about the
Bible Code and people going back saying that there are what do you even call
it? There? They are like little crossword puzzles and Bible numerical codes that
that can be deciphered, right that that they go back back through and they're
like, oh, because we found this saying something about nine to eleven or
something about Hitler. The Bible then predicted this through the Bible code. It's
something that people have made up and then they made the show on and they've
made two or three shows and books and all this stuff. There's no shortage
of that stuff. That's what we were arithmetic of God. And yeah,
that that's what we were talking about, any any predictions. We weren't actually
speaking of the Bible itself being stupid because it can't predict blah blah blah.
That that's absolutely not what what we were talking about. And sorry if if
that came across. We didn't do a very good job describing the old Bible
code the show, in the book and basically sometimes I'm just thinking about my
next bad British accent. Yeah, well, um, it's it's really I
don't think about it much, but yeah, it didn't. Didn't mean to
take you down that path with it, and and thanks for writing in to
try and clear up some of that air on it. And also he says
that he's found a lot of worth and meditation and um, he says what
he is experienced through that's what Casey may have been experiencing. Is if you
know, if you open yourself up to the paranormal world. Things may communicate
back to you. Yeah, and it doesn't mean that it's coming necessarily from
a trustworthy source, he says. But it also doesn't mean you know,
a ghost that you might see you as somebody that was kin to you,
or anything like that could be. You know, people have these real experiences.
Doesn't mean that it's God communicating with them. Doesn't mean that it's not.
Nobody knows, that's the thing, and he says, just be careful
when you talk to a part of our universe that we know very little about.
Tested before you believe it, so you look into the abyss, the
abyss looks back. Yeah, so just be careful. Uh. And and
again, sorry for any confusion there, Nick, U're not We're not Bible
bashing. We're definitely Bible Bible code the show bashing because it gets a little
silly. Yeah, so does Duck Dynasty. Yeah, all of that.
I just don't know why I had to throw anyway. Thanks thanks for clearing
the air there, Nick. Anyway, thanks for writing in Yes Bonds,
skating on those pigs, and making giant land features with your clumsy anters.
Oh man, we got hit by Greg Back who Greg Back who can't afford
to do this with? Oh okay, yep, yep rock shock greg Back
writing puns? Oh man, yeah no he is Greg Back is just unloaded
the pun gun. Oh goodness all over our faces. Yeah uh. There's
a comedian who likes to tell jokes based on readings he had from people in
the audience. His name is Louis kc. Nice. Yeah. There's also
a funk band whose lyrics are actually of future events. So you should check
out Casey in the Sunshine Band. Wow. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Oh there's another there's another punch rending Oh no. Um. There once lived
a hobbit in the Shire, and he generously financed the adventures of Gandolf and
all his furry feated friends. He was known as the Great Bildo Baggins.
Yes. In an effort to make food which will fuel super soldiers, the
Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency teamed up with the popular pizza train pizza chain called
Darpapa John's. Wow, yeah, better robots, better lasers to Parpa John's
deployed to your house in thirty minutes. Yeah, I little know. In
fact about one of the great pharaohs was his love of fist bumping. And
every time this great and powerful man gave someone the honor of the pound,
it was required to say Blamsey's black Yeah, ye oh God, Greg Buck,
your magnificent bastard. Also, Greg Back wants to contribute to Flora's bitcoin
gift accepted right off. Oh man, I'm gonna get that. I know
what you'll be laughing when I when I buy my Lake Tahoe house. Good
with your one bitcoin fake currency. Thanks Greg, Thank you, Greg,
your magnificent heard from listener Emmy noise, Oh what you're doing that? Remy
snice to hear from you. It's been so long, Take your druck it
off. It's hommy, stay for a while. I know you're doing it
like cream. But I've got sugar. We've got We've got cream man's sugar.
Can pick Emmy? Yeah for a biscuit? And he says, how
are you a gentleman? All your bass are belonged to puns? Yes,
Oh, I love this. She's been listening for months, actually, Woods
and she's about halfway through the archive or a bit bit plus. On the
plus side, she has no dramatic guitar sound, and she cannot bring the
fancy feast, but she can bring the pun pain. Yeah, watch yourself,
your bit, yeah bit. First, she heard about this dude with
a chainsaw and baseball bat who shows up to help out the Ninja Turtles from
time to time. Seems he meditates and gets visions that tell him exactly where
to be and when. His name Edgar Casey Jones. Oh I love it.
In nineteen eighty nine, the government formed a committee to look into the
increasing number of little girls who reported wanting to be mermaids when they grew up.
This was the Aerial Phenomena Research Organization. Finally, she volunteers at her
local cat shelter, and her favorite cat is a golden long hair named Rapunzel.
When people come in and ask me, who's that pretty curty, she
tells them Dam's puns. Oh, puns is a great name for a cat.
Yeah that's true. Call it rap now, just call it puns.
And yeah, she likes our particular brand of robust malarkey. Oh it is
redolent. Thanks, Emmy, Thanks Emma. Oh, Emmy, yes it's
Alice. Nice of you, but I understand you've got places to be.
Thanks for bringing the puns. What else you got oh, we got one
from Mike mac oh mac god um so actually a fun interesting correction. So
in the Edgar Casey episode, you know, I went on my giant tirade
about m d's and d o's how they are completely equivalent, which is true
in the US, oh and perhaps camon, but in the UK and continella
Europe it's it's crackertown. Wow. Yeah, interesting, Yeah, it's it
says osteopathy remains about the same as it was one hundred years ago, a
hildo years ago, a straight hildo. Thank you so much. Mike.
Hey, thanks, Mine's awesome. It's good to know. Just I got
one more here. Um we were mentioning this, I think in the last
episode. Listener Jeff has been listening since episode three. Oh, I love
it getting in on that ground. Thank you, Jeff, thank you.
And finally you know the reason why pineapple and kiwi and grapes and mandarin oranges
they are just getting that bowl with a coconut. They're not having any fun.
They just don't know what to do with themselves. I thought coconut was
a good time. I thought he were about a locke. Do you call
it fruit salad? I call it the greatest lie we've ever seen on the
kitchen counter. Oh no, then again, I'm just a dark motherfucking lemon,
dark Lemon, Hello, dark lemon. Oh Man, good to hear
from you. We have become his semi motivational semisanity sparing revision break reward for
a recent exam. Wow. So if it goes well, we helped.
Yeah, it doesn't go well, it was probably our faults, our fault.
Yeah, either way, you're blameless. Did you hear about the terrifying,
monstrous results that came out of DARPA's secret Machiavellian Science division. The mistake
they made was released into the wild, where it plays praise on goats and
petrified herders, who now whisper the name Chupacarpayeh see, that's that's why they
had to take the d out. It didn't work. Oh you hope that
really loved the Philadelphia Experiment episode. Oh nice, But we were right,
h Einstein did finally discover the the ultimate theory of everything and kept it quiet.
He was so despondent with man's in humanity towards man that he felt that
it had to be kept secret. Even went so far as to say he
was out of the physics game and was now devoted to his chain of restaurants,
Fat Albert's. His last act of misinformation was to release a secret recipe
for the perfect burger, double cooked and charred down to a minute but stunningly
palatable piece of meat. He called it his puny fried grilled theory. Ja's
wow, that was deep. Yeah, he was sawn at the punch.
And I guess the experiment gives a whole new meaning to port and how delightfully
love crafty. And does starboard suddenly sound in that context? It's practically eldritch,
he said the bone. Oh superpowers, Oh nice solar powered night vision
and a super sense of disclipower night vision. It works like just for like
thirty minutes at dusk. Yeah. Uh, and a super sense of disquiet.
Always a fan. Dark Lemon, owner of several gravitons. Oh can
we no, no, we can't have one even wrote it in is a
dark Lemon, And thank you everybody. Yes, you are all magnificent.
That's it. We're caught up. Well, we caught it. God man,
I love it. Cleaning your room, yeah, but your room's full.
The nice people, thanks for writing in keep on writing in you know
what to do. Go to all those things that we're on and do all
the things that we're do the things that those things tell you to do.
Also importantly donate button and Audibo trial dot com slash blurry photos go get your
free membership and audiobook. Yes please Yeah. So punch it, do it,
twist it, turn it, bop it. So uh yeah, that's
that's it. That's it. This is supplemental. You guys are magnificent.
Thank you, see you later. Bye, No, got the hut oh Jack