Comedy Central Podcast. Thank you you remember the first dust that you cast,
not even the last and almost better so, uh, almost better so,
what the last dust will be like, what the last dust of our life
will be like. Hey, some of you here have already done better not
to know. Better not to know because it' s because if you know
it' s the last fuck you' re gonna throw out. Hey,
you' re in there like a tension. It no longer gives him the
same illusion, and life needs illusion. We need illusion for everything, but
in moderation, because illusions also die. We need illusion in life. We
need circumvention to try to be happy, even if it is medium, nothing
more, no, because happiness has to be half always, because happiness is
sharing. No, you can' t be happy here alone. We don
' t need another person here to be able to rub our happiness on him.
I' ve won the lottery to you. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no. I' m gonna be happy. I' ve
decided I' m gonna be happy for fuck' s sake. I'
m gonna be happy because even if it' s for fuck' s sake,
it doesn' t matter. All right, man, everybody whining what
a mess everybody' s got. That' s where we look like grandma
Fuck' s all right. Oh, when this one will lead me to
the Lord for God' s sake. Tomorrow, Monday, I' ve
come up with a pimple, and I' ve stepped on a piece of
shit. What a life it is that the other in every hundred people ninety
- nine are looking forward to going out on the street to complain about rubbing
their shit in your face. You guys? Don' t you? Don
' t you? You guys? Don' t you? You guys?
You belong to that select one. One percent of the people who say fuck.
I' m gonna have a good time. I' m going to
see the monologues You' re coming. No. I' m not,
I' m gonna stay here and hit me with a stone in the shin.
You go on, you' re doing a good life You gotta enjoy
yourself. I understand the environment doesn' t help. The environment doesn'
t help. You fucking put the radio on and you listen. Pablo Alborán,
don' t fuck with me. What about this guy or Bona,
how sad. And that' s how we' re gonna get our heads
up in life. What' s got me worried about this guy, what
' s wrong with him, how sad, how silly, what' s
wrong with you? Pablo, you' re ovulating, we' re,
we' re overestimating the male sensiblon with a very developed female part, and
in the end, they' re worse than a very bad bitch. Pablo
Alborán is to music like rubbing the onions to sex. If there' s
no rock and roll afterwards, you' re going home with a pain in
the ass. Don' t be afraid of Pablo Alborán. He' s
perfect, a man locked in the body of a footballer, but with a
teletabi heart, so be perfect. But it' s very sad. It
' s very sad. That' s not good for karma. What'
s the matter with you? Pablo left you the bride to be sacked,
it' s all right. Karma will put it in place. If he
has been great, if he has been bad, he will already take care
of karma to reincarnate in a lizard and eat ants throughout his life until he
dies and then the ants eat it to her, but Paul thinks of positives
without grudges. Look at me straight. The theory of karma speaks of that.
Basically for us to be happy, we have to be fucking bastards first.
How you' re doing with your life of grief, that' s
what' s gonna be fine with you. Do you want it to go
well? You want it to go well. Take off four teeth, cut
off one arm. Invest in karma. Sure. You want to be independent.
You want to be independent of your parents. Learn to depend on your
boss, Learn to depend on the bank. You want to have money,
learn not to spend it lives like a miserable fuck. You want to learn.
Learn first to assume your ignorance. You' re an Olympiad. Do
you learn English? Do you learn English? What' s that? What
' s that? What the fact? What the fuck? Create xing cat
coffee with wa lechis. The coffee doesn' t relax and much less in
the main square than while you put the blue, carter cracks the wallet and
the mobile phone. We don' t enjoy it. We don' t
enjoy it. We' re tense, we' re tighter than the ozil
eyelids. And so we won' t be happy. Never. To be
happy just enjoy the little things of life, the little pleasures. I don
' t know how to walk away with colleagues. Let' s take the
last one. It won' t be the penultimate, well, the penultimate.
Or little pleasures, little spans of life, take a three- hour
nap that you get up and say uf today which day is clear. The
little pleasures of life, those are the important ones. Don' t stay
a whole afternoon at home on the couch watching videos of the king, tripping
over the other time, so again that this guy dies and, of course,
get up in the morning and take a good shit, a slow,
gentle, concentrated shit, that you say or without fear of death. Let
' s go without even turning around to see what happened. Nothing. Talks
crazy maybe fucked up an iPhone, I don' t care, pulls the
chain, nothing happens looking at the future. Of course it is without fear
and above all, to fuck. Yeah, fuck a lot and well between
you I say don' t be proud, that there are people who don
' t fuck for not bothering, you have to turn themselves in, that
there are people who fuck without undoing the bed. This is shit You gotta
turn yourself in by taking your socks off. If you need to die by
throwing your imagination out, thinking that you have five dicks and that all your
pants look like a glove pulling viagras. If you need to run, don
' t travel, not that that explodes your heart and moves you want to
fuck or you haven' t come here to take out anything else. If
you have to pull viagra, you pull viagra. It' s okay.
It' s okay. Moreover, the effect is purely psychological. I'
ve seen people get erections just going to buy it. The stone is good.
It' s very sad that your girl wants sex right after having sex.
That you' re not doing well. And if you die, you
die. They say that when you die in palmado, you' re stuck
in palmado. Please, you can think of something nicer. An epic burial
in your neighborhood with a choir, a gospel choir and a band Dixi Lend
A Massingers Ho Weed the Sun and the people ah Paula had a dead man.
Not wow. If I die like this, I don' t want
to be infested. I want a picture taken for Badu' s profile.
If you have to die, you die to boast, you have to suffer.
But not so much. The girls wear heels and we know they hurt
you. Why do you do that, what happens you want to look taller
than the others. You don' t want the others to look any smaller
than you. That' s Spanish Not really fucking, but we fucking love
it. Please, girls, you really think we' re gonna love you
more, because you look at seven inches more. You guys would love us
more because seven ces is the same. No, no, no, we
don' t like to suffer. We compete to see who suffers most.
Not the typical ass who goes out on the street to play catchy with his
ex- girlfriend. Ah, you' re here. Yeah, oh,
hey, I' m having a terrible time. I' m really having
a hard time. No, I' m worse, no, I'
m worse than you. I don' t fuck around, we always argue
sometimes we don' t. This can' t be or if not the
cocoon who when he can' t sleep, spends all night watching the clock
every five minutes to see how long we haven' t slept.“ My
mother, the time it is and it is not sleep I arrive, oh,
my mother, I have to get up within a quarter of an hour
and the next day the office competes with colleagues. I' ve slept two
hours at most, because I at most? I' ve slept half an
hour, because I at most? I haven' t slept at all and
I' ve been throwing up all night and listening to Pablo Alborán. I
' m sorry we' re sitting here feeling bad with guilt feelings for being
here with the Jiji and the Jaja, when there' s a lot of
people out there having a hard time, people who have lost all their lives
in the candy crash. Why. Because we' re selfish. We are
selfish and the most selfish of all is the guy who invented the puff pastry,
son of a whore, the guy who invented the puff pastry. Hey,
that one didn' t eat breakfast in bed, didn' t he?
I think everyone will have breakfast standing with a plate. I was just
thinking about him here, asshole The guy who invented the puff pastry is the
same idiot who invented the butterbutter. Easy to spread. Butter is easy to
spread lying tell the truth. Butter is easy to spread, unless you think
about putting it in the fridge, because anything you put in the fridge stops
being easy to spread automatically. Although meth soup if in that film is the
last tango in Paris, Marlon Brando gives him to take the butter from the
fridge, that poor bastard would have had to give him fifteen points. Really.
I don' t understand it anyway I' m not from this time.
I think about it a lot. I' m not from this time.
I am to see I have taken, I have already taken twenty years
to realize that I am no longer twenty years, so I now do not
know if I am older or slow catching things. But it' s true,
my time things were different, I mean, in my time not everything,
we didn' t have a camera on our cell phone, we would
put it in our pocket or we would manage with a six and a four.
In my day things were different. Rap rap was only in English.
Everything. In my day there were two types of bread, the bimbo bread
and the bread. It' s true, in my day I don'
t know. The one that said infinity didn' t have the last word,
because there was another one that said infinity me infinity, infinity potiff,
infinity of high and I give myself eh. In my day the one who
said it was and had his ass upside down check Ut. In my day
the reviews didn' t matter because they bounced and remoted and your ass exploded.
In my day you were walking down the curb on the sidewalk because on
this side there was a cliff and here were crocodiles. It was very dangerous.
Not now, now, look at me. Now I' m an
adult and we saw surrounded by adults who do things, adults who write geniuses
on Twitter with a hundred and forty characters, who play langry Beards as they
go and who worry a lot about who the fucks are going to star in
the next Batman movie. What an adult Batman. You really care about Balmon.
Why kind of superheroes Batman, a guy who gives him a guitar and
looks like the gay boss of the height of medicine. That' s a
superhero. Superman' s a superhero, a guy with superpowers A guy who
really melts you with his look, who freezes you with his breath, who
' s like a faggot, but who are superpowers. Spiderman, a guy
who climbs the walls, like Charlie Shine when he runs out of gin.
That' s real superpowers, not Batman' s. It' s more
pathetic than the invisible man. Even what super powers the visible man has to
sneak into the bulls. Batman has the same superpowers as Bill Gates, a
lot of dough and he buys shitty little toys and gold. Today Merling Hello
I am Batman, oh, yes, of course I have said psycholm if
it is not Hallowen or e ban man or Gilipolla. Hey, you'
ve got bat- shaped ninja stars, so if I have a box of
six left, but they' re white. No, no, I'
m the dark knight. They can' t be white. They' re
gonna show up from Apple, but how bad is the Batman color. We
' re like idiots with the accessories, it' s just that he calls
me down the clock with the shoes. We' re like an asshole with
everything on the phones. How long ago? How long has it been,
honestly what if you' ve looked at the phone for the last time minutes
seconds and yet how long you haven' t really looked someone in the eyes
and told them, motherfucker, that I was giving you from respect and affection,
Of course, from respect and from affection, because you, from respect
and affection you can have a host. Someone doesn' t happen, because
it' s respect and from love and you can humiliate him, reproach him,
assault whatever you want, because it' s from respect? And the
love? The love, the touch? Is it the love, the touch?
The touch? Makes the lockdown? The sore? Do the crust?
The crust? Does the infection, the infection? Does the disease, the
disease? It makes the plague, the plague, the extinction of the human
species. Take a cór don' t give me love, don' t
take a cór. Give me pleasure? Give me pleasure. Buy me some
canes, save me a rice with lobster and tell me what you like bald
ones. Even if it' s a lie, I don' t care
if it' s true. I don' t want the truth. I
have a real poisoning, really, which is that I can' t anymore.
People who come with the truth ahead, usually come with the lie behind
and I come behind. I want to know the truth? If it'
s gonna hurt, I want to know. People, people who come with
the truth in front of them, usually come to give you a shit,
listen, I' m sorry. It' s just that I' m
very sincere and I can' t keep it quiet or I think it'
s super ugly. I' m sorry I have to tell you. It
' s uglier, man, because you stay with your friends yesterday at the
corner of the bar You don' t have to cross the whole pair and
come here and insult me that I don' t know you at all.
Really what the fuck is this about being so authentic, how mania we have
to prove that we' re authentic those people who to prove that it'
s very authentic, don' t wash. But this, what the fuck
is it? What will your thinking have to do with your hygiene? What
will have to do with your way of thinking about passing the little knife from
time to time, honey? It' s not that I, as I
believe, in the power of Tibetan bowls and that dogs dream of. And
I don' t believe in capitalism, because I shave my pussy, because
with me as if it leaves you scratches you understand, but that doesn'
t seem to me, you don' t seem to make sense, you
don' t have to make sense, you don' t have to,
you have to change the way you think, but why, what mania,
what we change, why you want to change us. Women always want us
the woman who doesn' t want to change you, that' s the
one who changes your life. And it' s not bad. Not bad.
It is necessary to change, because it changes, but whenever it is
done with talent, with courage, with desire and, above all, with
enthusiasm, but with care, because you already know, of illusions also dies.
Thank you very much. Thank you.