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Hey, y'all, it's Lauren,
and I will jump right to it.

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So, like the title of this
I don't know mini episode said, I

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am going to be putting the podcast
on hiatus. I am somebody who hates

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change and gets freaked out by it. I assume some of you are like

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that as well. So I wanted
to just like talk through it, give

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a full, transparent explanation, explain
everything that I know at the moment,

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and just yeah, I don't know. I just I wrestled so hard with

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like how to share this, and
I feel so awkward doing this. I'm

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literally reading off like a bulleted list
on my laptop because I want so much

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to say everything that's on my mind
about it. So yeah, the first

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thing, I don't know for how
long I want to be honest about that.

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It's gonna be going. I'm going
to be starting the hiatus at the

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end of this month, so there
will be two more episodes coming out,

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and I am not doing any kind
of like a final episode or anything like

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that, because I cannot imagine a
scenario where I don't do more episodes eventually.

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I don't know what that will look
like. I don't know if,

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like if I bring the podcast back, Like, do do I do that

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when I've finally found someone who I
feel like they would be a good a

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co host and it's like another iteration
of it, or do I bring it

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back and it's no longer every week
because that has been so hard to do

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on my own. I don't know, like do I do boratic episodes again?

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I'm trying to be like super honest
that I don't know answers to these

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questions at the moment. But what
I do know is that I didn't I

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didn't do a final episode because this
is not this is not like an an

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ending. Yeah, I cannot imagine
not doing some episodes during Pride months this

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June. You know, there's always
like National coming Out Day. I can't

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imagine like not releasing something for that. And just in general, like there

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are still so there are so many
more people who I want to speak to

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and more people's stories that I want
to tell. I get emails. It's

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literally it's just about once a day, or at least once every other day

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from people either pitching themselves as guests
or usually you know it's like managers pitching

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guests. Uh, and just there
are so many more people out there who

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I want to speak to. So
yeah, that's that's on my mind.

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Also, I'm so close to three
hundred episodes, Like my OCD is literally

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not going to allow me to just
stop forever. At two hundred and ninety

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two, I can't handle that.
So at some point I will get up

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to three hundred and there will be
a three hundred episode. Now I know

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there was there was a world where
I could have just ended the podcast when

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Nicole left, like that would have
been a reasonable thing to do, and

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at the time that that happened,
I was I was not ready to do

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that. There was never any question
in my mind when she left it that

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I wanted it to continue, and
so that's what I did, And honestly,

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I am so glad that I did, because I have done so many

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episodes over the past eight months that
are incredibly special to me. There were

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also, like so many firsts in
these past eight months that were so cool.

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As you know, I was so
excited to have on the POD's first

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ever Furree guest. I had on
our first ever Singaporean guest, just like

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this isn't officially a first, but
in the first five years of the pod,

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we had only ever had one intersex
guest. In the past eight months,

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I've had on two more. So
just like the time, the guests

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and the episodes that I've done over
these past eight months have been like so

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valuable and so important to me.
And I'm glad that I didn't end it

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when Nicole was leaving. I'm I'm
proud of like the rebrand of the name,

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and I love the logo that my
friend did. I revamped the whole

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website. I'm so proud of that. So yeah, I if people are

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hearing this and like, if you
were gonna end eight months later, why

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didn't you just end it then?
I had no idea that I would be

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putting it on a hiatus eight months
later, which brings us to why is

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Lauren doing this? So the primary
two reasons are incredibly boring. The reasons

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are money and time. Money.
Okay, I want to be transparent,

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So Nicole used to do all of
the editing. Since she left, I

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have had to pay an engineer to
do that. I'm gonna shout out my

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engineer and give her contact info at
the end of this rambly announcement because she

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is so incredible and I've loved working
with her, and just if anyone out

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there is doing a podcast or thinking
of starting a podcast, I'm gonna give

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her info at the end. But
but she needs to be paid what she

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is worth. And let me tell
you, it is very expensive to get

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a podcast. That it is so
basically I jumped from five years of Nicole

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and I not having to pay anyone
to do it to all of a sudden

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having to pay a lot of money
per month to get it done, and

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that it's a lot, a lot
more than gets brought in by the Patreon

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and ads, and it's it has
been. If I'm being honest, I

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have taken a financial hit from that
happening, which I don't regret. But

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that's just that's just the fact of
it. Transparency about sponsorships, because I'm

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sure you hear like Hello Fresh and
like and like Tushi and like these kind

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of big name companies and you're like, don't you have enough money? Uh

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So, because I'm not like my
favorite Murder or like you know, Mark

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Marin or anything like that. Those
I'm I love those sponsorships. I love

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doing. Ads are really fun for
me to do. They they don't pay

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a lot and I won't give out
you know, like specific monetary value.

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Uh, but just because you're hearing
an ad for like months and months,

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I get paid one time for for
you know, the duration that that ad

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plays. So basically whatever, we
don't need to get into the nitty gritty.

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The point I've trying to make is
I was I was operating at a

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loss, as I believe they say
in the business world, because the amount

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that it was costing me to have
the podcast edited and engineered every month was

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significantly more than I was bringing in
from from ads and and the Patreon and

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stuff like that. So yeah,
I wanted to be transparent about the money

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side of things. Uh. The
other thing, yeah, is is time

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or as as we say in the
modern age, bandwidth. Basically, uh,

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it is. You'll be shocked to
learn it is so much more work

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to do a podcast by yourself than
with a partner. It's just it's down

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to me to do like all of
the correspondence book, all of the guests.

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It's also just you know, you
get used to like working with a

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partner and suddenly you're doing it all
by yourself. And it's just like even

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just like writing episodes, episode descriptions, takes me like so much longer because

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it used to be like I'd write
a draft and then shoot it over to

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Nicole and she'd be like change,
change, change change. I'd be like,

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oh, great, done. And
now it's like no one is giving

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me that input. So it's just
me like staring at an episode description and

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being like is it good? So
just like little things that you don't even

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really think of until you're suddenly doing
everything by yourself. Also, I've,

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as I'm sure many of you know, I have not had a steady job

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for a super long time since literally
like week two of lock Down. I

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haven't ad a study job, which
speaks to the money part of it.

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But also I just started doing I've
started a job. It's not my dream

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job. It's like it's one of
those weird like you log into a platform

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and it logs your hours and you
do work. But but I'm so happy

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to have it. It pays decently, but it is one of those jobs

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again where you log into a platform
and it keeps track of your hours and

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pays you accordingly, and realistically,
I need to free up more time to

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be able to do it and to
get more money, and to God,

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willing move out of my apartment this
year, which is something I wanted to

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do last year and wasn't able to. But yeah, this is all a

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long way of saying I need to
free up some more time in my life

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to do like work stuff. And
just also I am feeling burned out.

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If I'm being honest, I think
that's super relatable right now. A lot

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of us are feeling really, really
really burned out. Yeah, just repeating

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myself, going from five years of
having a co host and then suddenly like

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thrown into doing it myself has been
exhausting in a lot of ways. So

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yeah, Flans needs a break.
And you can tell because when I start

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talking about myself in the third person, it means I need a break.

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So that those are the two big
reasons. And I'm not giving like specific

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like I'll be back on this date
and in this format because I want to

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be realistic about the fact that I
don't know what my needs are going to

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be. I want to see like
what this job is looking like. And

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I'm still applying to like real more
real concrete jobs that I want to get.

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So yeah, I just I haven't
made any of those decisions, but

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I haven't made any of those decisions
yet, but I am cognizant of the

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fact that I need a break and
I'm listening to my body and mind and

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all that good stuff, and I'm
trying to respect that for my own you

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know, like health and wellbeing and
all that boring stuff. Okay, So

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again, I hate change. It
freaks me out. I assume you get

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freaked out by change if you are
anything like me. So what am I

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leaving? What am I leaving you
with? During this this TBD very vague

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hiatus. Okay, So here's some
things I want you to know. The

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Pods web page coming uppod dot com, which again I revamped when I rebranded,

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And I don't want to brag,
but I'm like really proud of it

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because I'm not a graphic designer or
a web designer, but I think it

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looks really good. But anyway,
that's neither here nor there. The point

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is the Pods web page has in
episodes link and it that link to take

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you to a website where you can
search every episode description by keyword. And

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I don't know if people know that, but I feel like that's a really

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important thing to know, especially if
you're a newer listener and you're like,

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holy crap, there's almost three hundred
episodes. That's a lot. You can

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search for specific keywords if you want
to find specific episodes, if you've been

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listening for forever and you just can't
remember, like, ah, what was

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that episode? I really love.
This is how you do it, search

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by keyword at this link. Yeah. So, I just want people to

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know that there is a wealth of
episodes that are going anywhere that still exists.

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If you're a newer listener, this
hiatus is a great time to start

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at the very beginning. Listen to
those episodes. If you've been listening for

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forever and you're like, how's it
going away, I'm going to go into

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the withdrawal and get the shakes,
go back listen to old episodes. Yeah.

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I Also, I'm going to be
keeping the Twitter and the Instagram active.

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They will obviously not be as active, but I am still going to

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try to highlight things that are,
you know, happening in the news,

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or let's be realistic, it's me
happening in pop culture. If a hot

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actress comes out, you bet your
ass there's gonna be tweets about that.

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I can't not do that. Yeah, I will try to let y'all know

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when you know former guests have like
projects or exciting things happening. So yeah,

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Twitter, Instagram still active, you
will still be able to reach me

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through there. You will always be
able to reach me through the Gmail,

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which is coming out pod at gmail
dot com. Also, I've said this

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on previous episodes, but it's worth
repeating. I want y'all out there to

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know I read everything that comes in. Some of you have written the most

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beautiful, just like lovely stories,
like some people have told me they're coming

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out stories, or just written like
a quick thing to be like, Hey,

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this podcast is meant so much to
me, and I want you to

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know that I read every single one
of these. I do not reply to

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all of them. I try,
I genuinely do, but it it is

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so hard because there's also all the
emails for the guests in organizing, there's

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all the logistical emails, So I
am not always able to honor all of

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the beautiful, non time sensitive,
nologistical emails that come in. And sometimes

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I do this thing that I imagine
a lot of you can relate to,

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where something is so meaningful and beautiful
and like emotional that I'm like, oh

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my god, And you know,
I read it at like three in the

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morning or whatever crazy hour I'm up, and I'm like, oh my god,

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I need to, like I need
to set aside time to like really

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reply to this and do it justice. And then I never end up doing

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it. I assume we've all been
there. It sucks, but I want

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to be honest about that. But
the reason why I'm saying this is because

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I want you to know that if
you write me something, it is not

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just like going out into the ether. So if there's ever anything you need

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to get off your chest or you
want me to know, or just like

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you're not out to anybody and you
want to you have to tell somebody,

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you can tell me. It will
get read. The Instagram thing is weird

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with the frickin Twitter tube to a
lesser degree with that hidden folder. But

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when I do remember, I check
that hitden folder, So even if it's

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like something like that, I will
eventually read it. And the ones that

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go straight to Gmail, I read
all of those. And it's just important

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to me that you know that.
And again, I'm so sorry that I

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am not able to personally reply to
everything, but just know that your words

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are getting read and they are really
just like deeply, deeply important to me

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and I'm so grateful. Okay,
couple other things, going back to my

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bulleted list on my laptop. Oh
oh this is big. Okay, if

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you are a patron, please cancel
your membership. I cannot take money from

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you while I am not putting out
new episodes. That is not right.

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You may have also noticed since I
started doing the pod solo, I stopped

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mentioning the patreon at the end.
I always shout out the patrons, but

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I stopped being like, hey,
go here if you want to give money,

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because I was painfully aware of the
fact that Nicole and I were very

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well intentioned but not good at keeping
up that patreon. And I never rebranded

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the patreon to have the new name
or add new perks or anything. I

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just it was we bit off more
than we could chewt. It was overwhelming,

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and so when I took over as
the only host, I no longer

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like pushed it because it didn't feel
right to do that. And now that

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I'm going to be taking a hiatus
from episodes, I absolutely do not want

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y'all who are still patrons giving me
money while I'm not putting out new content.

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I'm not closing the Patreon because it
has like outtakes on it, and

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I am now that I'm doing this
hiatus, I am going to post I

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have fucking part of my language.
I have over a year of outtakes that

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I still have not posted. Again. This is one of those things that

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it is like so time consuming to
get them up on the Patriot and all

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this stuff. So there will be
new content coming out in the form of

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a whole bunch of backlogged outtakes and
those will be free to everybody. I'm

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unlocking all the Patreon content. So
yeah, I will let y'all know about

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that via social media when I have
mentioned want to got those outtakes posted.

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But yeah, stop giving me money. If you're a patron who is still

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giving me money, that is important
to me that I am not taking your

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money while I am not producing new
episodes. Let's talk resources. Hell yeah,

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so the website comingoup dot com.
Uh. The website has a Google

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doc of virtual community resources that I
started during lockdown and have since like tried

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to add to as much as I
can. It's a work in progress,

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like a lot of things on the
website. Speaking of work in progress,

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the website also has a media list
that is specifically geared towards positive queer content,

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So not a lot of stuff on
there, or almost no stuff where

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like somebody dies or it's a really
difficult coming out story that's like painful and

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the family rejects them, and stuff
that is not the purpose of the media

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list. It's a coming out podcast. I want y'all to have positive connotations

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for it, for that sort of
journey. So yeah, so if you're

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interested, there is a media list
up there under resources, and a bunch

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of other stuff under the resources tab
on the website to explore. Also,

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I want to let you know about
other podcasts that you may or may not

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be aware of, other specifically queer
female helmed podcasts, since I will not

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be doing my queer female helm podcasts. Okay, So there's Bad Queers,

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which I really like because it is
sort of I mean, they cover like

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so much, but sort of their
mission statement is it's a podcast for folks

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who feel like they're like bad at
being queer, which, as I'm sure

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you know, has always been my
struggle. I feel like I don't fit

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any of the stereotypes and all that
stuff, and so the two hosts of

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Bad Queers feel similarly, and so
that's what I recommend. Two Dikes and

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a Mic is a very funny podcast. If you are missing my irreverent,

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hilarious style, I recommend Two Dikes
in a Mic. And as always,

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Le's Hangout is just in all timer. A lot of you, I'm sure

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discovered this podcast via less Hangout,
but if you are, you know,

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coming to it later or something,
Le's Hangout is one to absolutely subscribe to.

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Lee and Ellie help Nicole and me
so much in getting the pod up

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and running. I found my editor
through them, so yeah, I just

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huge shout out to let us hang
out. Definitely incorporate them into your podcasting

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if you do not already. Okay, and speaking of podcasts, here's my

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shout out to my phenomenal engineer slash
editor. Her name is Avery Severs.

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She is a queer woman. She
lives in Canada, which is so cool.

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You all know that I think Canada
is better than America, so that's

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exciting for me. Now, if
you are somebody who has a podcast or

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is thinking of starting one and would
potentially like to contact Avery, you can

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do that through Instagram. Her insta
is at Avery Underscore Severs. That is

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spelled a v e r i e
underscore s e v e r s.

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Honestly, you should follow Avery anyway, even if you are not doing a

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podcast, because she posts like really
cool burlesque photos and content and it's just

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cool to follow cool queer women,
especially if they're a Canadian. If you

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hit her up on Instagram and you
don't hear back, assume it went to

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that weird hidden folder I was talking
about earlier. You can contact me directly

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if you haven't been able to reach
her. I don't want to say her

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Gmail publicly, just in case,
but I do obviously have it so I

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can connect you guys if if you're
interested. But yeah, she is just

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so good. I cannot tell you
how hard it was to go from from

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having Nicole edit it and like we're
just we were for five years in such

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a zone with like the way I
would give notes and then like she would

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like like give her notes, and
then it was just like a well oiled

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machine, and switching that over was
like so scary and hard. And if

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you notice like a big jump in
the quality of the podcast around November or

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December. It's because a buddy of
mine was doing the editing for I was

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I was paying him, but he
he was my editor, and we just

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did it work that well together and
it wasn't as good. And then finally

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I found Avery, and it like, I just cannot recommend her enough.

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And it's been so easy to work
with her. It's like she's inside my

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brain and understands everything that I'm going
for with my weird, rambly explaining edit

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notes. So yeah, I just
really recommend her, y'all. I've reached

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the end of my bulleted list on
my laptop. There is no doubt in

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my mind that as soon as I
turn out this recording I will think of

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nine other things that I want to
say. But that's life. But yeah,

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I just want to impress upon you
that this was so hard for me

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to decide to do this. This
podcast is. I think it may honestly

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be the thing in my entire life
that I'm proudest of. I'm not a

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hunter for such sure, but it
is. It's up there, and it

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might be then I'm one thing I
it is. It is in addition to

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Piero, the love of my life, And yeah, so it was just

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really hard for me to have to
acknowledge that I need a break from it,

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uh for financial reasons and for like
bandwidth, emotional, mental stress,

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busyness, all that stuff reasons.
Uh, but it's that's where I'm at,

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and I want to you know,
like take care of myself and keep

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putting out quality content. And I
never want to get into a place with

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a podcast where I like resent that
I, you know, have to do

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it every week or that it feels
like a chore. It has not gone

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to that point. I am making
sure to stop before I get there,

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but it's I am feeling worn out. So yeah, So again, hiatus

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not end all, be all.
I don't have clear cut answers for uh

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if it will come back with like
the same regularity or what it will look

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like y'all. What if I,
oh my god, what if I find

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like in a amazing hot girlfriend and
then we start I bring it back in

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we're co hosting, like anything could
happen, is what I'm saying. But

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I'm genuinely super excited about the remaining
two episodes and again purposely not doing a

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final wrap up episode because if nothing
else, I am getting to three hundred.

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I am not stopping at two ninety
two. So yeah, there will

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be more episodes. I will keep
you all posted on them. Thank you

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so much to every single person who
listens, whether you like just started last

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week and you're like I just started, why the fuck is she putting in

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that iatus, or you've been listening
for over five years, Thank you.

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I am so grateful to you.
I adure all of you, and thank

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you for hopefully beg you for understanding
why I'm doing this. And yeah,

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I will still be present on social
media and all that stuff, so yeah,

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I think that said. God,
I'm bad at ending things. Thank

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you all for listening, and uh
yeah, two more episodes coming at you

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soon. Bye,