Hey guys, Welcome and welcome back to the podcast where your friends Maddie and
Lauren, and we're back for another episode. Today we are recording remotely.
Lauren is off to school. She's living in a hotel. So lovely background.
You've got there, very clean room, thank you, thank you.
So today we're going to talk about how to be cool. I feel like
this is something that you know, everyone's a bit interested in, including myself.
Like if I saw a podcast titled how to be Cool, I'd be
like, maybe I should give this a listen. Agreed. I also feel
like recently, I've heard a lot of people talking about how no one's actually
cool. Like a lot of times what's cool about people is that they're mysterious
and you don't know them that well, and then when you get to know
them, they're not actually that cool and they're pretty normal. Like celebrities are
the perfect example of that, because you could see someone online and think that
they're so cool. Like let's talk about Hailey Bieberford example. So I bet
you if you met Haley bieber and you became her friend, or if you're
someone who's known her for a long time, you would realize that she's just
like everyone else, and she's very normal. And this is my experience with
anyone I've met who if I followed them before, i'd be like, oh
my gosh, they're cool, but then you meet them and you're like,
they're kind of just like everybody else. So I definitely agree with that.
But there are a couple of things that I thought of that make somebody cool
more like in a more normal sense, like people that I know in real
life that I think are cool. These are some common traits with these people.
Yeah, I feel like it's not cool in like, oh my god,
they're awesome and I want to be them kind of way. It's kind
of just cool as in, they're the kind of person I would want to
hang around. Yeah, for sure. Okay, let's get into it,
because I actually could think of quite a few Okay, Okay, So at
the end of the day, I think that being cool equals being confident.
Like the most confident or the most cool people are the most confident people,
the people that just kind of own who they are, own their style,
they don't care to change for other people, and that if it's genuine.
I feel like that is very outwardly expressed and that's kind of like the energy
that people think is cool. I agree. I feel like so many of
my points go back to confidence, but one of my first is actually very
closely related to this, and it is dressing in a way that is authentic
to you. I feel like if you are someone who does this, then
you're probably pretty confident, because people who aren't confident, to me, are
more likely to follow trends because they want to fit in. And yeah,
I think that you can still dress in a way that is authentic to you
and incorporate trends, like if there is a trend that closely aligns with your
style or you're like, oh, I genuinely really like that, and I
think part of this is you, you know, incorporating that trend. But
if you're doing it to fit in because everyone else thinks it's cool, then
I don't think that is very cool. Yeah. On a more micro level,
I said that rather than following trends, look at vintage clothes or like
styles that were popular, you know, twenty years ago, because that's usually
how the fashion cycle goes, Like the what was popular twenty years ago now
is coming back, like compries and off the shoulder and all that, so
I like to look on Pinterest rather than even TikTok because TikTok is like very
generic. I think if you have cool style, usually it's a little bit
different than what everyone else is wearing. Like you're saying, I also said
to stop shopping at generic clothes or generic stores, like the ones that you
find in them all if you can. It's cool to support small businesses or
thrift in general, like better for the environment, better to support small business
and big businesses. And the other plus side is that you have cool stuff
that nobody has. I think, especially when I was younger, one thing
that was important to me, or like it was talked about, was having
clothes that nobody else had, and that was like a cool thing. We
were a uniform for most of school, but I remember people talking about that.
So I think that that's a great way to appear cool, Like to
be cool, you have different clothes, you own your style, and then
you also support small businesses or thrift in the making of that, and it's
like a win win for everyone. M I also feel like places like urban
Outfitters Brandy Melville that all sell similar clothes kind of all follow the same style,
like it's hard and probably to dress in a way that is super authentic
to you if you're only shopping at those places, because if your style is
super like Boho, for example, you're not really going to find those pieces
at those fast fashion retailers, like you'll be way better off looking for pieces
like that at a thrift store, for example. M I think a thrift
store is a great way to be cool because or I guess visiting or shopping
from a thrift store because then you are, like Lauren just said, open
to so many different styles of clothes, like some event's going to be horrible,
but you'll find some gems and it's just different stuff. I think that
that's really cool personally. What's your next point? My next one is caring
about things. I think it's really cool when people have interests and passions and
they're not shy about sharing them, even if they think that other people might
not think that they're cool, because at the end of the day, part
of being cool is not caring what other people think of you, or doing
what you want regardless of what other people think. So I don't know,
I think this is especially cool when it's just like interests and passions that aren't
super popular. Though, if your interests aren't popular, I feel like that's
fine too, and just owning them is the important part. And what's interesting
is I feel like when we think about someone who's really cool in like movies
and stuff, they aren't often portrayed as people who really care about things.
You know. I feel like a lot of times not caring is seen as
cool, but I think it's actually the opposite. Yeah, I said being
unapologetic with your opinions and values, So like owning what you believe in.
I think that caring about fit like stuff like activities or hobbies like you're saying,
is also really cool because I don't know. I think that anything can
be cool if the right people are talking about it, Like things become mainstream
just by people talking about it. So there's nothing that's actually cool or not
cool, Like say, if you're into horses, being a horse girl was
never cool. Somehow it's not cool, like it's the same activity. I
don't know what happened, but it's just like people start to own it and
be like, this is what I like to do, and then people are
like, oh, I think that that's cool. I admire that it's more
of like the owning it that's the cool part, not the actual thing itself.
Agreed for sure. Okay, so my next one is to be friendly,
but not overly friendly, where you're like trying to be friends with everyone.
So it's a fine line, like be approachable, be a nice person,
have a smile on your face, but you don't have desperate energy,
you know, Like I'm always trying to make new friends, but if I
don't click with someone, I don't care if they like me or not.
Like it all comes back to being yourself, I think, and the right
people will find you, like you'll attract each other. But I always try
to be friendly at first, like nice enough, and then if I click
with someone, I'll pursue the relationship further. But I'm not trying to be
friends with everyone. I don't care. Yeah, I agree with that.
I think that when people are too persistent that isn't that isn't very cool.
And also if it's like you're changing yourself to try to be friends with a
group of people, that's not something a cool girl would do. Yeah,
it's very true. I also said on the topic of other people, be
nice to people who can do nothing for you. I think that is a
cool thing, Like if this is like a classic example, but if you're
rude to a waiter, I think that that is the most uncool thing,
Like people that are ride to people that they see as below them, Like
that to me is horrible and so uncool, like I can't even explain it.
No, I fully agree with that. And another one that I thought
of that also relates to how you treat other people is don't be judgmental of
what other people think is cool. Let other people enjoy what they want,
and also recognize that you can learn things from other people. So I think
a cool girl or a cool person is like outspoken and not shy about what
they think is cool and what they're interested in, and they don't judge other
people for having different interests and also speaking out about their interests. Yeah,
I think being judgmental is a sign of insecurity, Like if you are happy
with yourself and what you're doing, you don't really care what people are doing.
You kind of can just celebrate people for their accomplishments. You don't feel
threatened by them. I think it's always really a sign of insecurity, and
everyone has a level of it. But I don't think it's cool to put
people down to make yourself feel better. Another friend related thing that I wrote
down is have friends with a wide variety of interests or like, meet people
in a lot of different spaces so that you are more like exposed to more
opinions and perspectives. I think that it's cool when somebody can talk to anyone
like, how do you explain this? Like, you are able to relate
and talk to people who are different than you, And I think that that
goes back to having friends that can provide you with different perspectives and going off
of that, I think it's cool when people aren't so caught up in their
own friend group and aren't aren't like, oh, I have my own friends,
so I don't need to talk to people who aren't my close friends.
Like recognizing that you can converse with people who aren't your best friends. Maybe
they will turn into your friends, maybe they won't, but you're just like
open to that even if they are people who aren't super similar to you.
Another one I have on the topic of friends is being reliable. I feel
like I've probably talked about this on the podcast, but being able to rely
on my friends is really important to me. So I just said, being
there for your friends, following through with the things you commit to, I
think that's cool. I don't think flakey people are cool. M Yeah,
like, be a good person, be a friend that you would want to
have, and don't be so caught up in your own world that you put
your self and the important things to you over the important things to other people.
And going off what you just said, I think that it's cool when
you tell someone something You're like, oh, I have this big test coming
up, for example, and then they text you and they're like, oh
my gosh, how did it go? Like when they remember things about you
because they have been listening to you and they care about you. Yeah,
I definitely agree. So the next thing that I was thinking is, or
what I wrote down in my notes, is if you can travel. I
know that this is obviously easier said than done. I just think traveling or
being exposed to a wide variety of places, people, cultures makes you a
more well rounded person. So I know that that's like a hard one to
implement, like way harder than the rest of them. But traveling, to
me is something that I value a lot, and it's something I want to
continue and also share with my future kids when they are younger to you,
like, I hope to be able to travel with my own family because that's
something I really value from my childhood. Yeah, obviously this is a more
difficult one to do, but I think that if you aren't able to travel,
just taking the time to learn about other cultures. So even if you
can't speak about your personal experiences when something like that comes up in conversation,
you are able to talk about things you know about certain cultures. Or even
if it's not like, oh, this is what I learned about that,
you're just not You're not shocked at the information that people are telling you.
You know, and you maybe have something to contribute to the conversation in some
way because you've taken the time to either go on vacation there and learn about
the culture, or you've done your own research at home, you've watched documentaries,
whatever it might be. I think, honestly, a lot of people
don't even know where certain countries are, like which continent countries are in,
how many continents there are, what are they called? Like, I guess
I don't know if we don't learn that in school. I think I took
one geography class, but we don't learn that much about other countries, so
you kind of have to go out of your way. And I think doing
that in whatever way it makes sense for you is really valuable and it's really
cool. It makes you a cool person if you're able to contribute to conversations.
M Yeah, I see that come up all the time when I'm in
the US, And for example, I was talking to Darian about this and
she was like, people genuinely think it snows for most of the year,
like almost year round, and they don't realize that it gets as hot in
Toronto as it does here sometimes in the summer. So that, for example,
is something that isn't that difficult to find out about, and you just
seem more educated and worldly if that's something that you know before going into a
conversation. Yeah, definitely having knowledge about things like that aren't in your own
personal life is super cool. Something kind of related to that is reading.
I think reading is very helpful and it makes you seem really cool because,
like we're just saying, you're able to contribute to conversations way better than if
you're someone who doesn't read or doesn't consume information. Because, as you know,
sometimes people are talking about things like current events politics. If you have
an opinion that is based in fact, I think that it's really cool.
Like if I'm talking to someone and they know what they're talking about about,
like say American politics, even if their perspective is different than mine, if
they're able to back it up with actual information, I'm like, yeah,
that's cool. We don't have to agree on everything, but at least you
have something to say. Yeah, that's something that we didn't mention when we
were talking about opinions earlier. But honestly, I think one of the worst
things is when people are super opinionated but they either have no information to back
up what they're saying or misinformation. It's like, at that point it's better
to be quiet. So I think it's cool if you genuinely know what you're
talking about. Obviously, some things are well I guess, I guess maybe
opinion isn't the right word to use, because an opinion is something that you
come up with on your own, and when it comes to like fashion,
you don't need to have facts to back up why you like certain things.
But when you are saying that something is a fact, I think it's cool
to make sure that you know what you're talking about first. Yeah, it's
mostly about controversial topics where this comes into play, like if you're discussing politics,
religion, money, like stuff like that where people people are usually just
avoid it because it's a rabbit hole of sorts. Everyone has different perspectives or
opinions. But I think it's cool if you're able to talk about important topics
in a way that is mature and calm, and you have facts to support
your opinions about things. I think it's a very cool thing. Agreed.
Another one that I thought of is just being chill. We would talk about
this phone on the podcast. But it's important not to let the people control
you. We always say you can't control other people's actions, but you can
control your reactions. And I think it's cool to not let other people dictate
how you feel all the time. M Yeah, I agree. I think
it's also nice or cool when people don't let things shake them, Like if
you have the ability to zoom out and put things into perspective, I think
you're able to just live away more chill life and then you're not a person
who is high strung. And I think yeah, Like you're saying, it's
it's cool to be chill to a certain extent care about important things, but
if something is like not that important in the grand scheme of things, the
ability to move on is a very cool trait. Our parents always say pick
your battles. I feel like that's something that they said when they were raising
us. They're like, oh, I'm not going to freak out about this
thing that one of my kids did because I'm picking my battles. I think
it's. Yeah, it's important to let some things go and just not to
let other people have too much power over you. Like you gain so much
more control over your own life when you approach things from a more calm place.
Well, it's kind of like choosing peace for yourself. Like I say
this a lot. Yeah, Actually, in my relationship, I'm like,
I am choosing peace. I'm not going to do this thing. I'm not
going to look at your phone because I'm choosing peace. Like you just have
to sometimes not get into fights, not bring things up, let things go.
If something happens, like you miss your flight, don't let it ruin
your day. Like you control how much peace you have in your life at
the end, of the day, so don't let things affect you too much
if you can. My next one is to generally just take care of yourself.
I think it's cool when people work out, eat healthy, have their
nails done. Lauren does our own nails, so it doesn't necessarily need to
be like a professional manicure, but I think it's it's cool in this to
care about your health and to a certain extent, the way that you look.
Like if somebody came into my class, let's say, and they had
like some light makeup on and their hair done, I'd be like, that
person is cool, like they've got their life together. And then I'd probably
be like, Okay, I need to start doing that. That would be
something that like a trait that I would want to have, is like the
ability to wake up in the morning, get ready and get on with my
day. And I think there are some things that just show that that person
cares about themselves, Like if someone seems well rested and they have a lot
of energy, it's like, Okay, that person is making sure that they
get enough sleep. And obviously there are some things that you can't control,
like some people simply don't have time to sleep for eight hours a night,
like they have a lot of the they're working, they have kids, whatever.
But I think as much as you are able to making those choices for
yourself, it's cool. Yeah, prioritize yourself. Yeah. I just think
it's cool to have things together to feel and appear like you're not living in
a stressful state, which is different for everyone. But whatever you can do
to make your life less stressful. And I don't know, I guess it's
just appearing put together, being put together that personally makes me feel cool.
When I can walk into a room and feel confident because I did my hair
and makeup and like, I just know that I look good, like,
it just makes me feel cool. So that's something I would definitely suggest.
It's funny because at first glance, my next one seems contradictory to what you
just said. But I agree with both of these points. So I agree
with what you said. But I also don't like when people try to seem
too perfect when you actually get to know someone and you're trying to connect with
them and they just won't admit that they have faults, because no one's perfect.
It's not cool, and pretending to be only makes it more difficult for
people to get to know you and really connect with you because they just won't
feel like they're getting to know the real version of you. They'll feel like
you are putting on a front, which I think if you're trying to seem
perfect, you kind of are. Yeah, for sure. I think on
a personal level, you need to be able to share your true self.
It's cool when you're able to connect with someone as a friend or whatever.
Like, you can't get to know someone if they don't open up to you.
So I totally agree if someone's able to show vulnerability, I think that's
cool, and I know it's hard, but I totally agree with that point.
It's not even like having your hair and makeup done is not appearing perfect.
It's appearing like put together, like you've planned this out. Like.
I think it's the intention behind that that I think is cool. But appearing
perfect in life is not cool because nobody's perfect. Like you just said,
yeah, I think, especially when it comes to admitting that sometimes they're wrong,
which is something I struggle with, not actually like most people will do.
I feel like I'm quick to apologize about things when I realize I'm in
the wrong, but I don't. I don't love when people are like,
oh, that was not my fault at all in every situation, Like,
sometimes it is your fault and it's okay to admit that. Yeah. This
is also hard for me because I generally feel like I have done the right
thing, So that's hard. It's hard when you feel like you've done the
right thing to admit that you're wrong. But it's usually not one hundred percent
one person's fault. I think it's usually somewhere in the middle. So agreed
with that as well. My last one is just stepping out of your comfort
zone. I think it's cool when people live a life that is dynamic and
unique, and I always admire people who are doing something different than the rest
of their peers or like people their age. I think, especially when it
comes to career. If you think about the people that you admire in a
career sense, it's usually someone who's like challenging the status quo or like doing
something different. I don't know how like other specific examples, but I would
say in general and life, stepping out of your comfort zone makes other people
think that you're cool, and you feel cool because you're doing something different and
growing within yourself. Yeah. I like that. That's come up a lot
recently because I feel like that's important. We've been talking about it on the
podcast. But definitely agree, and I think that first the end of the
episode. Yeah, that was a great one. Hopefully you guys feel super
cool. Before we go, Do we have time for a quick life update?
We have about four minutes, so I actually have no updates. Really.
I talked about my birthday and since then, I've just been working and
getting back into things. So you take it away, Lauren, because you
have more of a transition going on right now. Okay, Well, Sunday,
I moved into my hotel. It's looking like I'll be here for three
more weeks, but I'll keep you guys update on whether that changes. But
honestly, so far, it's been kind of cool. I have been able
to hang out with my friends a lot, which is great. We're all
pretty close. We're like not on the same floor or anything, but all
in the same hotel. And it's also fun because we get to order food
for like every meal or go out for dinner together, so we've been doing
a lot of bonding. It's just nice to see everyone again, and I've
had most of my classes. Now I have a guitar class to where for
the first time, But other than that, I've had all of my classes
and met some cool people. I Actually, this is kind of a funny
story. I met a girl in my math class, literally the only girl
in the class that I had talked to because we were sitting next to each
other, and I was like, Oh, she's so nice. Whatever.
And then later that day I went to my stats class for the first day
and I met this girl and then she's telling me about her sister. She's
like, Oh, my sister's really struggling in this math class. And I
was like, Oh, what math is your sister taking? She tells me
what math it is. It's the only girl I met in my math class.
Their sisters so weird, so weird. But anyway, I look alike,
uh like kind of, I guess, but not exactly, Like I
would never have known if they if she hadn't said, but how did you
figure out that they were sisters? Because she was telling me about her math
class and then I was like, what math is she taking? And I
was like, I'm in that math. And then I asked what her sister's
name was, and then maybe I knew her. I said, Oh,
that's the only girl that I know. I was like, oh my god,
I sit next to her. That's so weird. Small world. Maybe
you're vibe with their energy as a family. So true. I can't wait
to meet their parents. It must be a sign from the universe. Definitely.
Wow, how exciting. Yeah, I'm trying to think if there's anything
else eventful. Nothing's standing out to me. There's like, there's not that
much going on this week. It's been a pretty slow week, no work
yet, but there's a bunch of of like frat rush events, so my
friends and I will probably go to that later this week. It just feels
wrong to do that on a Monday or Tuesday, so we'll see as we
get closer to the weekend. Then this weekend, I'm going to my first
USC football game, which I'm excited about. So I'll let you guys know
how that is. How exciting sounds like you're a real college girl. Now.
Oh yeah, I'm going to Palm Springs this weekend on a wellness retreat,
so I will have some exciting updates from that on next week's episode.
More to come. Awesome. I look forward to it all right. Well,
that's it for this episode. Thank you guys so much for listening,
and we'll talk to you next week.