Halloween a holy testical Tuesday for the downbeat. We are here and we are
leading two to one in the World Series. We're turning into a bunch of
cracker jacks. I don't know what that means. I don't know anything means.
Halloween's a weird day. A lot of people walking around dressed up goblins,
ghouls. Saw someone dressed up as an employee from K one Speed,
Big Day, Big Day. I'm Kevin Turner with Mike's Roy Danty bay Let's
waybut JJ Jackson here as well. Good morning, big Mike by k T
What do you mean you saw someone dress up as an employee of K one
Spin? Legitimately, someone from another station up here is dressed up with a
helmet and a race suit. Damn. It's a shame that we couldn't get
Garland Richardson up here this morning. But hey, it's all right. Halloween
only comes once a year, No, biggie, I forgot about it.
There was a time when this company used to embrace Halloween like no other I'd
ever seen, and those days are dead. I feel like we work in
pandemic era radio. I feel like we do. I'm just being honest.
Keep going I want to start Halloween morning off on a rant. Yeah,
there's never any spirit around here, man, Now I do believe that was
killed off. Do you think a spree tocur decor is it an all time
low? Oh my god, yes, yes, Well why don't you set
the tone and fix its just at the town. I know, wear a
wild outfit today or something. I don't want to it sons like too much
work. You know, I'm going home. Okay, it's six o two.
Don't go. Oh there he went. He's up and he is now
and he's gone. Hey it's a me Keo. Wow, he's back at
Halloween. Hello, Kevio, good morning, you guys want some leftover pasta?
We do have Caveo today. He's dressed up the whole show. Thought
on Ranger coming up later. Please do the entire show as Kevy. Oh
my god. Those little knobs they talk about are just pinned to the left.
The listener groups are just a Yeah. They always threaten their content by
review by the panel. Yeah, they pick one segment from four months ago,
play it for the panel, and they have these knobs in front of
them, and if they like something, they turned the knob to the right,
like seriously, could you reduce panels to just like lab chimpanzees right like
you're me like, oh no, And then that's what they base our careers
on is how much the panel chimpanzees like turn their knobs which direction. Like
there was one on one we got where it said there was like a quote
of clearly a bad joke I made and it was written on there like whatever,
and then my boss said, you know, he didn't bring any produce
today, and then the knobs just went left and there was a plummeting line
that went down and management looks at it and they look up at me,
and then they like look down at the paper and like, h Mike,
this is one joke I told four months ago. And they're like, it's
really not working with you. Let me introduce you to Morning Drive. Yeah,
here's the that's the solution. Ever woken up early? I think on
mine because we all have something on there that's definitely on the panel. Oh
yeah, and I think mine was I was doing. I was regurgitating a
bit from Silicon Valley that was man's plaining. And man's plaining is when a
man condescendingly explains to a woman what's really going on you that about what's wrong.
I do want to Juliet it all the time because I because if Julie
ever said huh, I could go hold on Julie, but you were doing
it ironically, absolutely, and I think she pushed back on it one time.
And friendly Fire, I think that shows up on the panel as they
Annie truly loved it when Julie didn't take crap from the men on the show.
Yeah, I was like I was doing a joke, stood up for
herself, like she wasn't intending to stand up for herself. And it's not
like the panelists in that room are like real true neutral people. I mean,
they know their job is to work this knob back and forth, so
they're probably just looking at their phones and then up and down. Sure here,
Oh that's really good. Where's my one hundred and fifty dollars gift card?
Do you think? Do you think the giant knob that only has left
or right really calculates a lot of new once, Yeah, to what they're
listening to, you dumb it down to left or right. Yes, it's
not even there's no survey, there's no follow up. It's by some random
group of people. And that have never heard you to luth. Yeah,
and it's also they don't tell you what to send. They just say send
three minutes, and it's really it's the time for you guys. It was
basically whatever groups pulled. So God knows right, because he's always he's always
looking to make us look good. Right where he pulled a hilarious part drop
in somewhere. We don't like flatulence, well you know anyway in exactly trials
of tribulations. I don't like those jokes that Dingu tells. They're nerdy and
about periods. Not funny impression, Just what pamelst impression you guys for telling
period jokes fifteen years ago. Look, there's a time and a place for
period jokes, and Morning Drive is definitely it. And maybe on Halloween,
oh my god boy, if there's any a time when people celebrate blood,
tell me about it. I had to scroll through about fifteen period jokes in
my search for a Halloween joke today. It's like, no, no,
no, skip, no, I'm not. Why do you read of some
that didn't make the cod that's not let's definitely let's not do that. Do
you have anything to man explain the JJ ktah the world. Explain football to
JJ. She loves that knows no everything to explain to her anything. We
will talk a lot of rangers in this show. Is they won and the
World Series is up to one. There is a formal setup that I can
take it at seven o'clock. Will you touch at eight o'clock. One of
the big things that is happening today happens at eight point fifteen. It's the
debut of the Downbeat Singing Pumpkin yep. Is everyone excited? I think I
woke up feeling regretful. Really, are you excited? Tea was excited.
What may have been funny last night may not be funny today. I felt
that what was being created last night, in the small window between you know,
the midday ending and getting ready for Game three, yeah, cramming in
ideas for common that at the time you're like, oh, hey, that's
pretty good, and then you wake up today and it's like, oh no,
maybe not pretty good. I had so much fun doing this, But
you did that the downbeat singing Christmas Ornament. Oh yeah, we'll get that
thing on shelves. We'll get that thing on shelves in time, not the
day of Christmas, when everything's closed. On my cutting room floor, I
have a song called Cyanide and razor Blades. Let's let's take a listen cutting
room floor, dry well, these are all half done obviously. Cyanide and
razor blades, strick nine and hand grenades, nun chucks and sharpened spades,
a crossbow and a bottle of aids. These are things to avoid on Halloween.
These are things to avoid on all days, and on Halloween you won't
find these items here because my candy is safe. A declaration of innocence.
How does that not make the final cut? Damn your other whatever you did
good, because that's solid make the cut. I think that works best as
one of the greatest Halloween poems. He trained underneath the poet Laureate of Dallas.
That is true, definitely reflections in the mirror. To save that for
the end of the show, Well then I'm like, parents are gonna be
listening, and then it's a bit much. Do you have another another one
that didn't make it? Say dude, but add some music to them.
I think this works as a is poetry. Uh again, these were abandoned,
so like I don't even remember where I was in the lyrics, so
they're not done. But uh, another one. It's a little fat kid.
It's not from around here. I'm peeking through my blind sipping roller Town
beer a little chunky kid who's dressed as a mailman. Then get back on
the bus as fast as you can. That's that's where I was, and
then I don't like it. Yeah, I think you were poking fun at
immigrant trick or treaters, as Mike Rider likes to describe them. That's probably
where I was at. And then I didn't like where I was going with
it. He corrected yourself. You know what, that's why I'm not doing.
That's what I But the two that I have, Donner, I don't
know, they're no better. That'll be something to check out at eight fifteen.
Everyone, buckle up, set your alarm clocks, tell your family and
friends. Yeah the downbeat singing pumpkin, and pick one up on the way
home from work today, just in time for trick or treating. Mm hmmm.
Don't you guys have any cutting room floor material or did? Your stuff
was all full at all? So good? I mean, I mean,
if you think it's good enough for air when it comes to YouTube, I
don't know about that, but no, I just don't want to waste time
writing something new. It's like, look, mine deserved to be on the
editing room floor, even my best. Yeah, but I'm not. Yeah,
there's two attempts that there they are. I didn't overthink it. I
you know, I gotta what would count as some sort of melody pen to
paper, and we didn't do a lot of rewrites. Just cannot let it
slide. But maybe maybe a scratch out here and there, but nothing crazy.
Yeah, honestly, it's most fun I ever had in my life.
It was in your life. Yeah, at least a good twenty minutes.
I'm just all right. I spent a good hour and a half, an
hour and a half. Same. Well, I had ideas and then you
hear the music beds and I'm like, boy, that none of that fits,
so you gotta change everything. I hate that. I just admit did
that. I spend an hour and a half because they're gonna hear what I
did and they're going to say, wait a minute, you spent an hour
and a half and that at least yours are like a minute long, which
is insane if you think about it. Someone goes to trigger tree. They
just want to knock on the door. They want to get their candy and
leave and not stop and stare at a pumpkin singing to them for one long
walk. Yeah, it's all. There's censor plates. Once they hit the
property the gate, the pumpkins starts singing. Okay, so it serenades them
all the way up to the front door. I always and back. It's
it's part of how I uh to their bus came up a bit. I
had an uncle back home, back in only in my hometown, and uncle
he's past. He was one of the co creators of the one arm dove
hunt. But uh one arm jack now one arm jack legit had one arm.
But he was a great musician. And if I have any regrets about
my time with one arm jackets that I didn't like, just go over to
he's My great uncle was an immediate uncle, but great uncle, and I
didn't just go over to his house and be like, teach me your ways,
just pick his brain a little, Yeah, show me to play piano.
He had an artificial arm that he would put on, would strap onto
his little shoulder. It was crazy, and it would strum the guitar.
So I really right, or was gone. He might have been playing it,
but he would do this and he could still play and it would just
kind of bounces, bounce his shoulder to strom. It was crazy. I
don't know if I barely believe you. No, it was insane. It
was. It was a weird contraption. And I don't know how it went
with the nub. It almost like it was almost like a cast, you
know, a sling would be the word. I'm there. Do you think
that's possible? I guess. I mean, I'm trying to also think what
the prosthetic technology advancements were in all need back when you were a kid.
Well, I don't know that it happened in only when he was in a
car wreck that he had had his car wreck. I don't know. I
mean, I just imagine like a big rubber arm just kind of dangling from
his shoulder and him just strings. I mean, it was like me when
he wanted to, you know, play Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley
Crew, he had to put on the rubber arm. It was it was
like metal though. It was like Skynet. Not not the arm, just
the contraption that had the thing that strummed and there was like a weight that
held the arm down. And isn't there some nuance that goes into what you're
strumming and the pressure of how you strum it. Yeah, that's why I
don't think. Are you sure I saw this or did you see this when
you were asleep? No? I saw this when I was young, when
you were young and asleep, I didn't see this in my dreams. Was
he a great musician prior to the injury, he was a good penis.
Yeah. So what he would do on Halloween is heate get his keyboard.
He had a big set up, elaborate set up outside. He'd get the
microphone and the speakers set up, and people would walk up to his house
and he'd be playing his keyboard and singing to him Halloween, We're going Halloween.
Just just messing with people. I mean, this guy was great.
Just messed with people forever and when were real close. What he used to
do to wh he was a substitute teacher too at school. What he would
do is he'd wear a suit and he would put the fake arm in his
pocket. You know, there's nothing, it's just a sleeve. He just
looks like it's in his pocket. It's funny. This guy sounds like a
pumper and he's just tons of bits, tons of bits. And he created
a fun dove hunt for paraplegics, you know, and the ESPN two went
there and it was another guy named one Arm Jack who was the co creator.
Two guys, two arms, two Jacks. What would you say is
the most valuable lesson you learned from uncle one arm Jack? His name was
really Jack? Yeah, I had one arm? Are you is making one
arm Jack? Yeah? I'm trying to open this up a little bit.
What was what was the most valuable he learned from Jack? I bet there's
like articles written about him for the one arm Leave that to us to look
out. Yeah, you answered the day find an old podcast he used to
do about one arm Jack? Got you, Jack Northromp, There you go.
Lost his arm in an auto accident in nineteen fifty six. Okay,
how old was he when he got in the accident? Was a kid?
Right? Good question? He probably died ten years ago. Okay, so
boy, I don't know. Was he ahead the smoker at one time?
He liked to drink? Right? Probably? Yeah? I mean that everyone,
yeah, everyone that can. If you can't, then you shouldn't because
alcoholism is a terrible disease. You know, alcohol is poisons. Yes,
it is poison. The point is, that's where the downbeat singing pumpkin came
from. Is my uncle freaking people out in a weird way. We're honoring
uncle Uncle one arm jack today at eight fifteen now, and we're paying off
the fact that we invested poorly in some money. And there's a ton of
downbeat singing pumpkins just sitting on shelves at it. And they were the nearest
target and they're probably not They're gonna be in clearance. That's cool. They're
letting us use the eight to fifteen slot to promote our business venture. Yeah,
this is a singing pumpkin that we're invested in. Play with our balls.
Yeah, what a weird thing to say after you have to hit this
diame that you own a brewery and I'll say, look, we want you
to go buy this thing on the way home, but don't buy it today,
just wait till tomorrow. Getting out there in front of the people.
No, we're going to take a take the beating on this this investment.
Did you guys buy lots of candy? I don't have one piece of candy.
Zero. This will be the one day a year let turn my front
porch light off. I don't. I don't. I don't want to do
it, mainly because my front gate it's tricky and you have to like lift
it to open it. Even the mailman can't hardly figure it out. And
your dog probably goes nuts. Dog goes banana every time anyone makes a noise.
I'm not putting Simon in my bedroom and locking them up. I want
to watch baseball. I don't want to. Okay, dude, I think
I'm with you because we're doing trick or treating with malc them like early,
like at five thirty six. Yeah, it gets dark, get the littles
out, you know, at that at that hour. But we're gonna go
because his mom lives about two miles from me, but we're gonna hit her
neighborhood. So I'm not even gonna be home for the bulk of trick or
treating. And when I get back lights out, yep. And it might
even watch baseball in bedroom with shades down. Really yea, because Gerald Dean's
the same way. I mean, anything just remotely that makes a noise outside
and which is great because I think I feel like that's the best security system
I could ever have. And she's got a throaty good bark when she needs
to. It's just too much. You're not gonna leave the bowl out for
the kids. Say take one, and you know how that works. Yeah,
you get one little little monster that just takes the empties, the whole
damn bowl into their little plastic pumpkin head and then you lose the bowl too.
Then they kick your fence down. I want to go back to something
Mike said, the dog part. I get. But you said you got
a gate. That's tricky. Yep, dude, what kids don't care about
a gate. There's candy worth fighting for. They'll open the gate and walk
up. They don't care. Well, most of my neighbors have plenty of
candy, tons of good candy still available left. It's all responsible on them.
They just want to acquire an sloade of candy. They don't care if
it's from my house. Now, let's face it. Let's face it.
The trick or treating experience is about the enjoyment of the person handing out the
candy. You get something out of that that serves you. There is no
child that's going to go home tonight in Mikey's neighborhood and empty their big ass
bag on the table and watch all of that crap. Just cover the table
and be like and start crying because the Siroy household went dark. To you,
Yeah, you're known. You're known as someone who didn't take part trying
to show some support. You're the only house in the NYO that's not given
out. Remember that forever. No, I think most houses half the house
don't. Now I do. That has crossed my mind if if the curmudgeon
is being applied to me by people in my neighborhood because of the lack of,
you know, participation in a communal event, and that my light never
turns off in the front porch and it will turn off tonight. Look,
I love it. I absolutely love giving out candy. It's so much fun.
But guess what, since I've lived in my house, guess who hasn't
been in the World Series. And I don't want a high leverage moment interrupted
to go, oh hey, cute, look a little iron man. Here's
a TUTSI roll. You know. Meanwhile, I missed a home run by
Evan Carter. Another you ever heard of DVR. Yeah, I've heard of
it. Kevin the game hand out the candy, and I'm saying, like,
and I got to another challenge flag here. I live enough life in
dv our world because of my circumstances. I don't want to have to do
it tonight. Yeah. Mike called it a communal event. It's not a
communal event. You don't have to talk to anyone. Well, yes,
you do everything, okay, So how about it? Just leave an empty
bowl out and then they show up. It's like, oh, somebody just
stampied the bowl. What are they gonna do that? Hey, bitch,
you're gonna knock on my door and ask me to read it's paying your taxes,
dude. You just gotta do it. You gotta pay your bills here,
and you gotta give out the candy. You don't have to. You
don't have to talk to anyone, Yes you do. No, No,
you just ignore them. Let me tell you something. Ignoring someone completely is
not near as bad. It's just shutting it down for the night. There's
one there's one mommy in my neighborhood that I might make an exception fortune that
front porch lights coming on and on. Yeah, life. You wait till
she walks buying every light the house illuminates, uh huh. And Danny goes
out there and is is a Greek god robe slightly open? Yeah, that's
attractive. Two full bowls of Moses with the ten Commandments of Candy Melaise the
Candyman, and then back inside when she declines. Yeah, she just kind
of side eyes and keeps walking. Weird, keep going. Last year she
showed up and she was real nice to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I brought her kids. And I don't think there's a dad in the
picture. Oh no, yeah, she's fit. We should And she's like,
oh yeah, I see you and your little your son out in yard
every day when I go run. But I just never said hi, and
I need to say high for now. I was like, yes, you
do. You've never seen her in one more time in the entire year.
I think she moved. She doesn't run around around most then she's not running
as much as she said. Tonight's your night. Yeah, dude, that's
another game. Downbeat milk counter, the downbeat milk Tracker. Yeah, and
we just have an umpire balls and strikes counter on our head. If you
make up calls Oh it's awful. I'm gonna be squeezing the zone tonight.
Whoa the milf counter? Who not just letting anybody in? Can we strike
zone? This is wreaking of a big Dingosi out today. I'm just saying,
hell y, can we get you Cavio to go to a few houses
in your neighborhood and trick or treat as you in that outfit by yourself and
yes and roll audio. While that does seem funny, I am highly against
adults getting in on trick or treating. Okay that part there's an age last
year. Okay, fifteen year olds. No, you're not getting can with
no costume? Yeah, just show up free candy, badass. Yeah,
they're like smoking a cigarette. Hey, yeah, give you candy because this
is a skateboard off to the next you're thirty five though. Yeah, it
makes it fun if you are by yourself and say it's a me Cavio trick
or treat and then we get the audio of what these people say. Oh,
hey, Kevy, oh you sure are a cutie. Please do yeah
like three with a beard. If you do that in a bag, Danny
will agree to do something for you. That's not good enough. Come on,
manage if you do like three houses, yeah, that's enough, because
they're all gonna give you the street. I got big plans. I'm getting
hammered. About five o'clock. I'm sitting out in the lawn chair. I've
getting my TV, my little small TV, getting that rolled up set up,
making sure we got good Wi Fi and we're watching the Rangers. Okay,
getting hammered. I support that plan. That's why you should do this
right when you get home this morning at ten thirty eight. Up, start
trigger treating at ten thirty spawning, do some morning trigger treating as a thirty
five year old Cavia and like all right, you'll hear some lady opening the
bag. It's it's sealed. Like sure, I don't like milk nuts.
Something better, Please sar premiums, premiums, fun size my ass. We're
the premiums. I know it's early. She used to put on these premiums.
Please go trick or treating as an adult at ten thirty eight. Yes,
and the only treat that you will accept is to have them squirt cheese
whiz directly into your mouth from the can. Spoonful of mayonnaise from a non
executive position. I'm making the executive decision to move the most important thing in
the world and combine it with sports at seven, hell yeah, do something
else here, the most important thing in the world, something to prepare for
this weekend next On ninety seven won the Freak