WEBVTT

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Halloween a holy testical Tuesday for the
downbeat. We are here and we are

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leading two to one in the World
Series. We're turning into a bunch of

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cracker jacks. I don't know what
that means. I don't know anything means.

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Halloween's a weird day. A lot
of people walking around dressed up goblins,

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ghouls. Saw someone dressed up as
an employee from K one Speed,

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Big Day, Big Day. I'm
Kevin Turner with Mike's Roy Danty bay Let's

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waybut JJ Jackson here as well.
Good morning, big Mike by k T

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What do you mean you saw someone
dress up as an employee of K one

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Spin? Legitimately, someone from another
station up here is dressed up with a

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helmet and a race suit. Damn. It's a shame that we couldn't get

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Garland Richardson up here this morning.
But hey, it's all right. Halloween

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only comes once a year, No, biggie, I forgot about it.

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There was a time when this company
used to embrace Halloween like no other I'd

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ever seen, and those days are
dead. I feel like we work in

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pandemic era radio. I feel like
we do. I'm just being honest.

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Keep going I want to start Halloween
morning off on a rant. Yeah,

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there's never any spirit around here,
man, Now I do believe that was

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killed off. Do you think a
spree tocur decor is it an all time

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low? Oh my god, yes, yes, Well why don't you set

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the tone and fix its just at
the town. I know, wear a

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wild outfit today or something. I
don't want to it sons like too much

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work. You know, I'm going
home. Okay, it's six o two.

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Don't go. Oh there he went. He's up and he is now

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and he's gone. Hey it's a
me Keo. Wow, he's back at

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Halloween. Hello, Kevio, good
morning, you guys want some leftover pasta?

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We do have Caveo today. He's
dressed up the whole show. Thought

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on Ranger coming up later. Please
do the entire show as Kevy. Oh

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my god. Those little knobs they
talk about are just pinned to the left.

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The listener groups are just a Yeah. They always threaten their content by

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review by the panel. Yeah,
they pick one segment from four months ago,

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play it for the panel, and
they have these knobs in front of

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them, and if they like something, they turned the knob to the right,

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like seriously, could you reduce panels
to just like lab chimpanzees right like

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you're me like, oh no,
And then that's what they base our careers

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on is how much the panel chimpanzees
like turn their knobs which direction. Like

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there was one on one we got
where it said there was like a quote

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of clearly a bad joke I made
and it was written on there like whatever,

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and then my boss said, you
know, he didn't bring any produce

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today, and then the knobs just
went left and there was a plummeting line

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that went down and management looks at
it and they look up at me,

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and then they like look down at
the paper and like, h Mike,

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this is one joke I told four
months ago. And they're like, it's

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really not working with you. Let
me introduce you to Morning Drive. Yeah,

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here's the that's the solution. Ever
woken up early? I think on

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mine because we all have something on
there that's definitely on the panel. Oh

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yeah, and I think mine was
I was doing. I was regurgitating a

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bit from Silicon Valley that was man's
plaining. And man's plaining is when a

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man condescendingly explains to a woman what's
really going on you that about what's wrong.

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I do want to Juliet it all
the time because I because if Julie

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ever said huh, I could go
hold on Julie, but you were doing

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it ironically, absolutely, and I
think she pushed back on it one time.

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And friendly Fire, I think that
shows up on the panel as they

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Annie truly loved it when Julie didn't
take crap from the men on the show.

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Yeah, I was like I was
doing a joke, stood up for

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herself, like she wasn't intending to
stand up for herself. And it's not

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like the panelists in that room are
like real true neutral people. I mean,

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they know their job is to work
this knob back and forth, so

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they're probably just looking at their phones
and then up and down. Sure here,

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Oh that's really good. Where's my
one hundred and fifty dollars gift card?

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Do you think? Do you think
the giant knob that only has left

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or right really calculates a lot of
new once, Yeah, to what they're

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listening to, you dumb it down
to left or right. Yes, it's

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not even there's no survey, there's
no follow up. It's by some random

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group of people. And that have
never heard you to luth. Yeah,

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and it's also they don't tell you
what to send. They just say send

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three minutes, and it's really it's
the time for you guys. It was

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basically whatever groups pulled. So God
knows right, because he's always he's always

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looking to make us look good.
Right where he pulled a hilarious part drop

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in somewhere. We don't like flatulence, well you know anyway in exactly trials

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of tribulations. I don't like those
jokes that Dingu tells. They're nerdy and

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about periods. Not funny impression,
Just what pamelst impression you guys for telling

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period jokes fifteen years ago. Look, there's a time and a place for

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period jokes, and Morning Drive is
definitely it. And maybe on Halloween,

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oh my god boy, if there's
any a time when people celebrate blood,

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tell me about it. I had
to scroll through about fifteen period jokes in

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my search for a Halloween joke today. It's like, no, no,

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no, skip, no, I'm
not. Why do you read of some

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that didn't make the cod that's not
let's definitely let's not do that. Do

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you have anything to man explain the
JJ ktah the world. Explain football to

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JJ. She loves that knows no
everything to explain to her anything. We

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will talk a lot of rangers in
this show. Is they won and the

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World Series is up to one.
There is a formal setup that I can

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take it at seven o'clock. Will
you touch at eight o'clock. One of

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the big things that is happening today
happens at eight point fifteen. It's the

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debut of the Downbeat Singing Pumpkin yep. Is everyone excited? I think I

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woke up feeling regretful. Really,
are you excited? Tea was excited.

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What may have been funny last night
may not be funny today. I felt

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that what was being created last night, in the small window between you know,

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the midday ending and getting ready for
Game three, yeah, cramming in

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ideas for common that at the time
you're like, oh, hey, that's

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pretty good, and then you wake
up today and it's like, oh no,

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maybe not pretty good. I had
so much fun doing this, But

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you did that the downbeat singing Christmas
Ornament. Oh yeah, we'll get that

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thing on shelves. We'll get that
thing on shelves in time, not the

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day of Christmas, when everything's closed. On my cutting room floor, I

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have a song called Cyanide and razor
Blades. Let's let's take a listen cutting

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room floor, dry well, these
are all half done obviously. Cyanide and

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razor blades, strick nine and hand
grenades, nun chucks and sharpened spades,

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a crossbow and a bottle of aids. These are things to avoid on Halloween.

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These are things to avoid on all
days, and on Halloween you won't

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find these items here because my candy
is safe. A declaration of innocence.

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How does that not make the final
cut? Damn your other whatever you did

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good, because that's solid make the
cut. I think that works best as

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one of the greatest Halloween poems.
He trained underneath the poet Laureate of Dallas.

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That is true, definitely reflections in
the mirror. To save that for

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the end of the show, Well
then I'm like, parents are gonna be

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listening, and then it's a bit
much. Do you have another another one

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that didn't make it? Say dude, but add some music to them.

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I think this works as a is
poetry. Uh again, these were abandoned,

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so like I don't even remember where
I was in the lyrics, so

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they're not done. But uh,
another one. It's a little fat kid.

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It's not from around here. I'm
peeking through my blind sipping roller Town

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beer a little chunky kid who's dressed
as a mailman. Then get back on

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the bus as fast as you can. That's that's where I was, and

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then I don't like it. Yeah, I think you were poking fun at

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immigrant trick or treaters, as Mike
Rider likes to describe them. That's probably

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where I was at. And then
I didn't like where I was going with

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it. He corrected yourself. You
know what, that's why I'm not doing.

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That's what I But the two that
I have, Donner, I don't

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know, they're no better. That'll
be something to check out at eight fifteen.

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Everyone, buckle up, set your
alarm clocks, tell your family and

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friends. Yeah the downbeat singing pumpkin, and pick one up on the way

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home from work today, just in
time for trick or treating. Mm hmmm.

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Don't you guys have any cutting room
floor material or did? Your stuff

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was all full at all? So
good? I mean, I mean,

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if you think it's good enough for
air when it comes to YouTube, I

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don't know about that, but no, I just don't want to waste time

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writing something new. It's like,
look, mine deserved to be on the

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editing room floor, even my best. Yeah, but I'm not. Yeah,

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there's two attempts that there they are. I didn't overthink it. I

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you know, I gotta what would
count as some sort of melody pen to

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paper, and we didn't do a
lot of rewrites. Just cannot let it

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slide. But maybe maybe a scratch
out here and there, but nothing crazy.

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Yeah, honestly, it's most fun
I ever had in my life.

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It was in your life. Yeah, at least a good twenty minutes.

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I'm just all right. I spent
a good hour and a half, an

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hour and a half. Same.
Well, I had ideas and then you

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hear the music beds and I'm like, boy, that none of that fits,

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so you gotta change everything. I
hate that. I just admit did

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that. I spend an hour and
a half because they're gonna hear what I

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did and they're going to say,
wait a minute, you spent an hour

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and a half and that at least
yours are like a minute long, which

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is insane if you think about it. Someone goes to trigger tree. They

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just want to knock on the door. They want to get their candy and

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leave and not stop and stare at
a pumpkin singing to them for one long

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walk. Yeah, it's all.
There's censor plates. Once they hit the

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property the gate, the pumpkins starts
singing. Okay, so it serenades them

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all the way up to the front
door. I always and back. It's

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it's part of how I uh to
their bus came up a bit. I

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had an uncle back home, back
in only in my hometown, and uncle

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he's past. He was one of
the co creators of the one arm dove

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hunt. But uh one arm jack
now one arm jack legit had one arm.

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But he was a great musician.
And if I have any regrets about

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my time with one arm jackets that
I didn't like, just go over to

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he's My great uncle was an immediate
uncle, but great uncle, and I

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didn't just go over to his house
and be like, teach me your ways,

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just pick his brain a little,
Yeah, show me to play piano.

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He had an artificial arm that he
would put on, would strap onto

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his little shoulder. It was crazy, and it would strum the guitar.

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So I really right, or was
gone. He might have been playing it,

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but he would do this and he
could still play and it would just

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kind of bounces, bounce his shoulder
to strom. It was crazy. I

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don't know if I barely believe you. No, it was insane. It

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was. It was a weird contraption. And I don't know how it went

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with the nub. It almost like
it was almost like a cast, you

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know, a sling would be the
word. I'm there. Do you think

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that's possible? I guess. I
mean, I'm trying to also think what

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the prosthetic technology advancements were in all
need back when you were a kid.

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Well, I don't know that it
happened in only when he was in a

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car wreck that he had had his
car wreck. I don't know. I

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mean, I just imagine like a
big rubber arm just kind of dangling from

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his shoulder and him just strings.
I mean, it was like me when

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he wanted to, you know,
play Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley

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Crew, he had to put on
the rubber arm. It was it was

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like metal though. It was like
Skynet. Not not the arm, just

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the contraption that had the thing that
strummed and there was like a weight that

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held the arm down. And isn't
there some nuance that goes into what you're

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strumming and the pressure of how you
strum it. Yeah, that's why I

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don't think. Are you sure I
saw this or did you see this when

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you were asleep? No? I
saw this when I was young, when

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you were young and asleep, I
didn't see this in my dreams. Was

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he a great musician prior to the
injury, he was a good penis.

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Yeah. So what he would do
on Halloween is heate get his keyboard.

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He had a big set up,
elaborate set up outside. He'd get the

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microphone and the speakers set up,
and people would walk up to his house

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and he'd be playing his keyboard and
singing to him Halloween, We're going Halloween.

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Just just messing with people. I
mean, this guy was great.

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Just messed with people forever and when
were real close. What he used to

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do to wh he was a substitute
teacher too at school. What he would

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do is he'd wear a suit and
he would put the fake arm in his

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pocket. You know, there's nothing, it's just a sleeve. He just

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looks like it's in his pocket.
It's funny. This guy sounds like a

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pumper and he's just tons of bits, tons of bits. And he created

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a fun dove hunt for paraplegics,
you know, and the ESPN two went

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there and it was another guy named
one Arm Jack who was the co creator.

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Two guys, two arms, two
Jacks. What would you say is

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the most valuable lesson you learned from
uncle one arm Jack? His name was

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really Jack? Yeah, I had
one arm? Are you is making one

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arm Jack? Yeah? I'm trying
to open this up a little bit.

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What was what was the most valuable
he learned from Jack? I bet there's

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like articles written about him for the
one arm Leave that to us to look

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out. Yeah, you answered the
day find an old podcast he used to

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do about one arm Jack? Got
you, Jack Northromp, There you go.

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Lost his arm in an auto accident
in nineteen fifty six. Okay,

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how old was he when he got
in the accident? Was a kid?

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Right? Good question? He probably
died ten years ago. Okay, so

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boy, I don't know. Was
he ahead the smoker at one time?

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He liked to drink? Right?
Probably? Yeah? I mean that everyone,

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yeah, everyone that can. If
you can't, then you shouldn't because

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alcoholism is a terrible disease. You
know, alcohol is poisons. Yes,

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it is poison. The point is, that's where the downbeat singing pumpkin came

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from. Is my uncle freaking people
out in a weird way. We're honoring

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uncle Uncle one arm jack today at
eight fifteen now, and we're paying off

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the fact that we invested poorly in
some money. And there's a ton of

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downbeat singing pumpkins just sitting on shelves
at it. And they were the nearest

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target and they're probably not They're gonna
be in clearance. That's cool. They're

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letting us use the eight to fifteen
slot to promote our business venture. Yeah,

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this is a singing pumpkin that we're
invested in. Play with our balls.

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Yeah, what a weird thing to
say after you have to hit this

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diame that you own a brewery and
I'll say, look, we want you

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to go buy this thing on the
way home, but don't buy it today,

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just wait till tomorrow. Getting out
there in front of the people.

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No, we're going to take a
take the beating on this this investment.

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Did you guys buy lots of candy? I don't have one piece of candy.

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Zero. This will be the one
day a year let turn my front

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porch light off. I don't.
I don't. I don't want to do

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it, mainly because my front gate
it's tricky and you have to like lift

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it to open it. Even the
mailman can't hardly figure it out. And

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your dog probably goes nuts. Dog
goes banana every time anyone makes a noise.

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I'm not putting Simon in my bedroom
and locking them up. I want

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to watch baseball. I don't want
to. Okay, dude, I think

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I'm with you because we're doing trick
or treating with malc them like early,

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like at five thirty six. Yeah, it gets dark, get the littles

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out, you know, at that
at that hour. But we're gonna go

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because his mom lives about two miles
from me, but we're gonna hit her

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neighborhood. So I'm not even gonna
be home for the bulk of trick or

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treating. And when I get back
lights out, yep. And it might

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even watch baseball in bedroom with shades
down. Really yea, because Gerald Dean's

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the same way. I mean,
anything just remotely that makes a noise outside

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and which is great because I think
I feel like that's the best security system

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I could ever have. And she's
got a throaty good bark when she needs

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to. It's just too much.
You're not gonna leave the bowl out for

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the kids. Say take one,
and you know how that works. Yeah,

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you get one little little monster that
just takes the empties, the whole

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damn bowl into their little plastic pumpkin
head and then you lose the bowl too.

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Then they kick your fence down.
I want to go back to something

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Mike said, the dog part.
I get. But you said you got

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a gate. That's tricky. Yep, dude, what kids don't care about

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a gate. There's candy worth fighting
for. They'll open the gate and walk

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up. They don't care. Well, most of my neighbors have plenty of

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candy, tons of good candy still
available left. It's all responsible on them.

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They just want to acquire an sloade
of candy. They don't care if

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it's from my house. Now,
let's face it. Let's face it.

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The trick or treating experience is about
the enjoyment of the person handing out the

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candy. You get something out of
that that serves you. There is no

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child that's going to go home tonight
in Mikey's neighborhood and empty their big ass

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bag on the table and watch all
of that crap. Just cover the table

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and be like and start crying because
the Siroy household went dark. To you,

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Yeah, you're known. You're known
as someone who didn't take part trying

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to show some support. You're the
only house in the NYO that's not given

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out. Remember that forever. No, I think most houses half the house

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don't. Now I do. That
has crossed my mind if if the curmudgeon

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is being applied to me by people
in my neighborhood because of the lack of,

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you know, participation in a communal
event, and that my light never

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turns off in the front porch and
it will turn off tonight. Look,

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I love it. I absolutely love
giving out candy. It's so much fun.

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But guess what, since I've lived
in my house, guess who hasn't

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been in the World Series. And
I don't want a high leverage moment interrupted

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to go, oh hey, cute, look a little iron man. Here's

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a TUTSI roll. You know.
Meanwhile, I missed a home run by

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00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:51.079
Evan Carter. Another you ever heard
of DVR. Yeah, I've heard of

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it. Kevin the game hand out
the candy, and I'm saying, like,

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and I got to another challenge flag
here. I live enough life in

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dv our world because of my circumstances. I don't want to have to do

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00:22:03.319 --> 00:22:06.759
it tonight. Yeah. Mike called
it a communal event. It's not a

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communal event. You don't have to
talk to anyone. Well, yes,

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you do everything, okay, So
how about it? Just leave an empty

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bowl out and then they show up. It's like, oh, somebody just

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00:22:21.839 --> 00:22:23.319
stampied the bowl. What are they
gonna do that? Hey, bitch,

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you're gonna knock on my door and
ask me to read it's paying your taxes,

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dude. You just gotta do it. You gotta pay your bills here,

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and you gotta give out the candy. You don't have to. You

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don't have to talk to anyone,
Yes you do. No, No,

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you just ignore them. Let me
tell you something. Ignoring someone completely is

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not near as bad. It's just
shutting it down for the night. There's

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one there's one mommy in my neighborhood
that I might make an exception fortune that

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front porch lights coming on and on. Yeah, life. You wait till

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00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:02.759
she walks buying every light the house
illuminates, uh huh. And Danny goes

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00:23:02.759 --> 00:23:11.559
out there and is is a Greek
god robe slightly open? Yeah, that's

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00:23:11.599 --> 00:23:23.599
attractive. Two full bowls of Moses
with the ten Commandments of Candy Melaise the

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00:23:23.799 --> 00:23:30.000
Candyman, and then back inside when
she declines. Yeah, she just kind

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of side eyes and keeps walking.
Weird, keep going. Last year she

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showed up and she was real nice
to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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I brought her kids. And I
don't think there's a dad in the

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00:23:41.559 --> 00:23:45.839
picture. Oh no, yeah,
she's fit. We should And she's like,

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00:23:45.200 --> 00:23:48.319
oh yeah, I see you and
your little your son out in yard

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00:23:48.359 --> 00:23:52.079
every day when I go run.
But I just never said hi, and

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00:23:52.519 --> 00:23:53.400
I need to say high for now. I was like, yes, you

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00:23:53.440 --> 00:23:56.240
do. You've never seen her in
one more time in the entire year.

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00:23:56.279 --> 00:24:00.720
I think she moved. She doesn't
run around around most then she's not running

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00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:03.359
as much as she said. Tonight's
your night. Yeah, dude, that's

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00:24:03.400 --> 00:24:11.279
another game. Downbeat milk counter,
the downbeat milk Tracker. Yeah, and

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00:24:11.359 --> 00:24:15.440
we just have an umpire balls and
strikes counter on our head. If you

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00:24:15.480 --> 00:24:22.799
make up calls Oh it's awful.
I'm gonna be squeezing the zone tonight.

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00:24:22.920 --> 00:24:27.160
Whoa the milf counter? Who not
just letting anybody in? Can we strike

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00:24:27.279 --> 00:24:32.079
zone? This is wreaking of a
big Dingosi out today. I'm just saying,

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00:24:32.119 --> 00:24:37.559
hell y, can we get you
Cavio to go to a few houses

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00:24:37.599 --> 00:24:41.480
in your neighborhood and trick or treat
as you in that outfit by yourself and

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00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:48.960
yes and roll audio. While that
does seem funny, I am highly against

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00:24:48.119 --> 00:24:55.519
adults getting in on trick or treating. Okay that part there's an age last

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00:24:55.559 --> 00:25:00.319
year. Okay, fifteen year olds. No, you're not getting can with

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00:25:00.359 --> 00:25:06.079
no costume? Yeah, just show
up free candy, badass. Yeah,

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00:25:06.440 --> 00:25:11.200
they're like smoking a cigarette. Hey, yeah, give you candy because this

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00:25:11.279 --> 00:25:15.279
is a skateboard off to the next
you're thirty five though. Yeah, it

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00:25:15.319 --> 00:25:19.240
makes it fun if you are by
yourself and say it's a me Cavio trick

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00:25:19.319 --> 00:25:23.000
or treat and then we get the
audio of what these people say. Oh,

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00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:26.519
hey, Kevy, oh you sure
are a cutie. Please do yeah

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00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:32.920
like three with a beard. If
you do that in a bag, Danny

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00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:37.920
will agree to do something for you. That's not good enough. Come on,

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00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:41.200
manage if you do like three houses, yeah, that's enough, because

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00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:45.200
they're all gonna give you the street. I got big plans. I'm getting

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00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:48.559
hammered. About five o'clock. I'm
sitting out in the lawn chair. I've

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00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:52.680
getting my TV, my little small
TV, getting that rolled up set up,

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00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:56.119
making sure we got good Wi Fi
and we're watching the Rangers. Okay,

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00:25:56.519 --> 00:26:00.880
getting hammered. I support that plan. That's why you should do this

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00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:07.119
right when you get home this morning
at ten thirty eight. Up, start

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00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:15.839
trigger treating at ten thirty spawning,
do some morning trigger treating as a thirty

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00:26:15.880 --> 00:26:22.279
five year old Cavia and like all
right, you'll hear some lady opening the

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00:26:22.319 --> 00:26:26.359
bag. It's it's sealed. Like
sure, I don't like milk nuts.

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00:26:26.440 --> 00:26:33.960
Something better, Please sar premiums,
premiums, fun size my ass. We're

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00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:37.599
the premiums. I know it's early. She used to put on these premiums.

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00:26:41.119 --> 00:26:44.400
Please go trick or treating as an
adult at ten thirty eight. Yes,

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00:26:44.640 --> 00:26:48.000
and the only treat that you will
accept is to have them squirt cheese

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00:26:48.039 --> 00:26:52.200
whiz directly into your mouth from the
can. Spoonful of mayonnaise from a non

335
00:26:52.200 --> 00:26:56.960
executive position. I'm making the executive
decision to move the most important thing in

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00:26:57.000 --> 00:27:00.160
the world and combine it with sports
at seven, hell yeah, do something

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00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:03.680
else here, the most important thing
in the world, something to prepare for

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00:27:03.799 --> 00:27:06.640
this weekend next On ninety seven won
the Freak