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You're listening to KFI AM six forty
on demand KFI AM six forty. You

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have doctor Wendy Walsh with you.
This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show,

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and I am taking your calls and
answering your social media questions. Just a

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reminder, I'm a professor of psychology. I'm not a therapist, but I've

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written three books on relationships because I'm
obsessed with the science of love. The

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numbers one eight hundred five two zero
one KFI. That's one eight hundred five

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two zero one five three four.
Okay, Producer Christina, who do we

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have on the line. We have
Lucy with a question. Lucy, Hi,

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Lucy, it's doctor Wendy. Hi, Doctor Wendy. How are you

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good? What's your question? Love? I've been getting a man for two

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years and we are very close,
but I have never met his kids,

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his adult children. Why not?
What's he saying? They don't want to

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meet me? How old are they? Thirty four to twenty four? Okay,

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So you've been dating a man for
two years you have not met as

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kids who are aged twenty four and
thirty four. And there's four of them.

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But oh, there's four of them. Four of them. Yeah,

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okay, And how long had he
been divorced before you met him? Three

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years? Three years? Okay,
so you've been dating for two years,

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so it's five years since the divorce. Okay, So what does this mean

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to you? Do you want to
meet these humans? And we just get

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separated on holiday times? And I
think I do? I think I want

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to meet them. So it's feeling
like you're getting excluded during family events during

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holidays. And when you bring it
up to him that you would like to

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meet them, what is his response? It'll happen soon two years later.

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Okay. So we have some holidays
coming up, we're entering the season.

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We got Thanksgiving, we got Christmas
or whatever we celebrate, right, Hanika,

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whatever? So correct, Here's what
I want you to say. It's

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called setting a boundary this holiday.
I would like to be on your arm

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at whatever family event you go to. And if he doesn't like that,

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then you have to make a decision. If he just says, oh,

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you're not waiting long enough to say, it's been two years, and if

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we're planning to have a life together, do you you don't live together yet?

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Do you kind of up? Yes? Yeah? So he has a

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place and I have a place,
but you're back and forth at each other's

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places. Right, I think that
he needs to make you a public girlfriend

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with his family, and I think
it's okay to insist on that. And

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if they say if if he says, oh, well, the kids said

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I can't bring you, then your
answer is, oh, so you're not

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going then? Right? Yeah,
Yeah, he's got a he's got to

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happy coming up that he's going to
without me. Uh, you know,

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you gotta put your foot down.
I think you need to be strong with

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this man. There are plenty more
fish in the sea if this doesn't work

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out, like seriously, if this
is a if you're feeling like an affair

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that he's put in the closet and
he's having sort of like a secret family

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somehow, and tell him your feelings. I feel excluded, I feel unimportant.

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I feel that you're disrespecting me by
not having me at these things.

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So you either bring me or we're
moving on. Lucy, I think you

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can do this. Because you're not
happy, I'm sorry. I'm tough.

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I'm tough because I'm all about teaching, teaching boundaries, Lucy, I'm teaching

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boundaries. I love that thanks so
much for calling. We got to move

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on. Thanks for calling. Okay, producer Christina, who do we have?

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Now? Who do we have?
Rule? We have somebody on the

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Linda, Oh, Linda, Hi
Linda. It's doctor Wendy. Hi,

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doctor Wendy. What's your question?
So I kind of have a situation.

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So me and my boyfriend, we've
been together for over three years now,

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and we've talked about the future.
He literally treats me like a queen.

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About a weeks ago, yeah,
he treats great, But this is a

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situation. About a week ago,
this very he joined my college study group.

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Okay, we got caught off a
little bit. How would you describe

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this person you met at your college
study group? Tall? Well built,

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tall, well built? Wo Okay, very handsome looking. And even though

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this guy he's very he's shared very
quickly with me personal information about his terrible

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life. He had, he showered, he showed a lot of red flags

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in this amount of baggage, but
he still has to work through that.

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Give me. With all that information, I still can't stop thinking about him.

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And I've suddenly noticed that I've become
hyper aware of my boyfriend's flaws.

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Okay, let me stop you right
there, because what you're experiencing is really

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common. So in our anthropological past, right, if we're talking from a

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perspective of evolutionary psychology, you know, our mates potentially could die, like

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things could happen, or we could
lose them, right, so we also

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have this potential to have backup mates. So you have you, as you

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describe it, You've been with your
boyfriend three years, You've talked about a

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future, he treats you like a
queen, and all of a sudden,

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this higher status mate in one area
at least tall, well built, handsome,

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because we're also wired to love those
genes for short term relationships. He

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walks into the scene and you're starting
to assess whether he could be a good

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potential mate. You're saying things like, well there are red flags and whatever,

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like what you know if he was
a woman or some of you are

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not romantically attracted, why would you
care if they had red flags or not.

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You're actually doing a made assessment and
you're making the big mistake of comparing

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him to your current boyfriend. So
I'm going to say, you've got to

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work hard to have super boundaries with
this person. Don't follow if he disclosed

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a bunch of stuff, as you
mentioned, and you know, don't hit

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that slippery slope of starting to disclose
personal things about you because then, before

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you know it, you're developing an
intimacy with this person, and then that's

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a betrayal of you and your boyfriend. So if you're, as you told

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me, happy in your relationship,
have been talking about a future and he's

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treating you like a queen, don't
let some other man just come in and

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trump the whole system and ruin it. Because that guy that tall, good

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looking, well built, handsome.
I wrote it down, tall, well

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built, handsome, I wrote that
down. He's not that in a long

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term relationship. You're just being titillated
by first impression. Hey use him as

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a fantasy and do it on your
boyfriend. That's what I'll say. Thanks

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for calling Linda, Okay, producer
Christina? Who do we have next?

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Oh she's not there? Where are
you? Who do we have next?

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We have Devin with a question?
Devin. Hi, Devin, it's doctor

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Wendy. Oh Hi Devin. I
mean I'm twenty one and I've got a

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girlfriend right now. I'm just kind
of curious after hearing your show because I

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like to be like scientific too in
my own way, Like what percent of

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your relationships boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife in America now do you think

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are unhealthy versus ten, twenty and
thirty forty years ago? Because I'm just

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wondering if the juice is worth to
squeeze anymore. Oh. No, they're

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far more healthy than they ever were, because you know why, Really,

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people are getting good relationship experience.
Like you, you've got a girlfriend now,

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right, and we build on these
relationships. And also you have to

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understand, we now understand the difference
between healthy and unhealthy. Here's the thing.

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People are marrying much later, but
the divorce rate has been going down

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every single years for the last few
decades because people are choosing better. They're

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getting some life experience, they're getting
some relationship experience, they're getting some sexual

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experience, and by the time they
choose they know. The other thing is

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they learn pretty early on when relationships
aren't going well that maybe it's them.

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You know, if you get a
pattern where you have two or three boyfriends

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or girlfriends in a row and you're
like, hmm, it's always been toxic,

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then what's the common denominator you?
And so people go and get therapy

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and learn relationship skills. No,
I think relationships are much more healthier.

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There was more relationship duration way back
when, but they weren't healthier. They

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just society forced them to stay together
in sometimes terrible situations. So no,

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I think people have gotten much more
healthier. All right, we have to

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go to break. When we come
back, I'm taking your calls. The

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numbers one eight hundred five to zero, one five, three four. You

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are listening to the Doctor Wendy Welsh
Show on KFI AM six forty. We're

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live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
You're listening to kf I AM six forty

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on demand. Kay, I Am
six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh

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with you. This is the Doctor
Wendy Walsh Show. And I'm taking your

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calls. The numbers one eight hundred
five two zero, one five three four.

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Okay, Producer Christina, who do
we have on the line. We

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have Mark with a question Mark.
Hi, Mark, It's doctor Wendy.

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Hey, doctor Wendy, how are
you saying good? Thanks for waiting during

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the break. What's your question?
Love? Hey, I had a quick

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question. So long story short,
I've been dating my girlfriend for six months,

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and we recently got into our first
kind of big fight, and a

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lot of it had to do with
the fact that she got mad that I

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couldn't tell when she was upset or
not. And I also feel like she's

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also very passive aggressive, and so
I guess my question is how do I

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kind of pick up on her communication
cues a little bit better because I'm kind

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of oblivious but then also kind of
annoyed. And this is a big fighting

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point that I find that her passive
aggressiveness is really annoying. Okay, so

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first of all, you are not
supposed to be a mind reader. Okay,

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that's very important in every relationship.
So what I would suggest you do

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is at a time when things are
good, did you make up after this

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fight or you're not talking? He
right now? Like, where are you?

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No, We're we're good now.
I mean there's nothing that night in

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campick. So when when you're all
cozy sometime I want you to say to

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her, Hey, you know what
would help me in the future. I

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really feel bad that I wasn't able
to pick up as you use, you

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know, pick up on what you
were feeling. I do better with really

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clear words. So would you tell
me next time what you're feeling so that

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I can better understand what you're going
through. And if she says something crazy

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like well you should just know or
why it's crazy, then just say,

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well, you know, I'm not
supposed to be a mind reader, and

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I do want to understand you and
I do want to feel you. So

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you're going to need to communicate it
to me. That's the first thing.

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Another conversation, probably at a different
time, because trying to change two behaviors

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at once is almost impossible. When
she does something that's passive aggressive, and

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you're very clear that it is,
then I want you to simply say,

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hey, I know again, make
that communication sandwich. Start out with a

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compliment than something a little harder to
chew on than back it up with another

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compliment, like say something like,
hey, you know, I'm really you

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know, I'm really into you,
I really like you, I really want

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to understand you. But it felt
like that thing you just said felt a

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little bit passive aggressive to me.
Tell me what you're really feeling so that

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we can just talk about it.
So you want to comment on it when

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it happens, that's the important thing. And you want to say it in

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a non defensive way, more like
a curious way, like, hey,

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can you help me understand that about
you? Because I really want to know

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you better? Right, So it's
less threatening. It's not accusing them like

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you're being passive aggressive. Instead you
just say I'm feeling like that felt a

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little passive aggressive to me. Am
I wrong? Like what tell me what

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you really want? So I can
really we can really connect on this.

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So you just got to keep commenting
on it. And if she gets defensive

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because she doesn't have the tools,
then you comment on that. I see

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that it looks like you're being a
little bit defensive. I didn't mean to

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make you feel, you know whatever, unhappy or uncomfortable with this conversation.

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I hope we can learn to have
better conflict skills. So just keep taking

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the higher road being the one who's
commenting on it. And that's also something

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that a therapist can help you,
guys with two at a certain point.

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But thank you. This is where
the systems are set up in the first

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months, in the first year of
a relationship, and then it sticks for

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a long time. So Mark,
thank you for calling. All right,

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let me head over to social media
because there are so many dms coming in.

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This person says, Hey, doctor
Wendy, what are your thoughts on

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a guy asking for your social media
within the first few messages. Well,

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these days this is very common because
people communicate all kinds of different ways.

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They communicate by telephone, they communicate
by text, they communicate by direct messaging

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on social media. And also when
you are assessing somebody, you want to

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look at their socials because that's the
billboard they put out to the world.

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So I would think it would be
equally important for you to ask for somebody

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else's socials, right to say,
hey, give me your social media,

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let me follow you, and you
know you can block them at any time

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and get rid of them later and
no big deal. But this is the

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time for you guys to peek into
each other's worlds a little bit. And

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that's how you do it, is
you look at the public billboard that they're

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putting out there. Okay, dear
doctor Wendy, I've been on three dates

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with a really great guy, so
great that on date number three I wasn't

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wait, wait, so great I
went on date number three, even though

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I wasn't sure there was a future
potential. We slept together. It was

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fine, But now I'm certain I
don't want to see him. WHOA?

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Was he that bad? Was it
that bad? WHOA? We've never actually

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spoken on the phone. Oh,
No, only text and face to face

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and genitals to genitals. I guess, I don't know. I want to

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tell him that I don't want to
see him further, but I want to

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be respectful and polite. Typically I
would pick up the phone and call someone,

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but since we've never spoken, I
would like to do this by text.

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Is that bad form? There's bad
form all over the place here having

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sex with somebody you're not sure there's
like a future with and you're just sort

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of trying them out and now breaking
up with them because you don't like to

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sex or whatever. I don't know
why. And then now text and okay,

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first of all, let him reach
out. You don't need to reach

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out right. And when he does, I guess if the way that you

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guys have set up is only talk
by text, Look, if you want

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to take the highest road possible.
When he texts you next and says let's

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get together, say can we get
on the phone? Text that, can

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we get on the phone? If
he picks up the phone. Then you

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gotta be put on your big girl
pants and you gotta say, hey,

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you know, it was lovely knowing
you. I mean when probably run into

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each other socially, we know some
of the people in comment whatever, whatever.

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But I just don't think romance is
in the cards for us. And

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I'm sorry. I think you're wonderful. I'll think of you for a friend

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if I want to fix up you
up some time and you just say it

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like that, take the high road, be sweet. Sorry, but yeah,

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I get him on the phone.
I think that's the right way to

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do it, all right. If
you would like to send me messages on

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direct message, Instagram is probably the
best place that we check. The handle

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everywhere is at doctor Wendy Walsh when
we come back. The five things,

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according to therapists who are in there
in the therapy room all day long listening

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to you guys talk about your problems. The five things that hurt marriages the

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most. You're listening to the Doctor
Wendy Walsh Show on kf I AM six

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forty. We're everywhere on the iHeartRadio
app. You're listening to kf I AM

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sixty on demand, k five Am
six forty. You have doctor Wendy Wells

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with you. This is the Doctor
Wendy Wells Show. So I always remind

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people I'm a psychology professor. I
read and read and read and read everything

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I can possibly get my hands on
about the science of love. But therapists,

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they're the ones in the trenches.
They're in the privacy of their office

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and they're hearing what people are actually
saying the problems, you know. And

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so I was reading this article where
they interviewed a whole bunch of therapists and

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asked them to come to conclusions about
what they felt were the biggest things ways

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of thinking, belief systems that hurt
marriages. Right, So let's go through

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some of them, because we shouldn't
be doing this in our relationships. Okay.

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The first is comparing your relationship to
other people's. Now, this is

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a big no no, because you're
going to start doubting yourself. That's funny.

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I was talking to my boyfriend Julio
this morning as I was reading this

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article, and I was like to
you know, you look at the people's

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Instagram posts and oh, here's our
wedding. It's beautiful. Oh look our

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anniversary. Oh I love this man
so much, and that never makes me

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envious. It never makes me question
my own relationship because I know the artificiality

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of social media, I know about
performance personality, and I said to him,

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I don't feel envious of anybody's relationship. You see, no two relationships

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are the same. And if a
relationship is an exchange of care, that

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care can take many many forms,
financial care, domestic responsibility care, sexual

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care, you know, childcare,
emotional support care, intellectual stimulation care.

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Each goes on and on. And
we're looking from the outside, but what

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they're feeling from the inside we can't
see. So sitting there imagining that they're

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happy all the time and you're not
is not a good road to go down.

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Okay, can't compare yourself to other
people's relationships. Now here's a big

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one that therapists say is a big
problem in relationships. People expect that their

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partner will stay the same over the
course of the relationship. So they have

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this big wedding and they say,
Okay, that's my groom, that's my

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bride, and they're going to be
exactly that forever. Well, news flash,

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folks, we're always changing every single
day physiologically, our selves are reproducing.

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They say, every seven years,
we are literally a completely different person.

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Biologically, every cell has replicated over
and over different. And so part

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of having a happy relationship is watching
your spouse change so that you can,

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you know, change with them and
be part of their fan and their cheerleader.

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Now, obviously, if the change
is that they're growing apart from you

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because every interest they have, you
don't like that's a problem, but you

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have to. You have to create
a safe haven where they can find themselves

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because eventually, if you expect them
to be the same forever, they're gonna

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leave so that they can be themselves. Yeah, think about that one.

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They're gonna leave so they can find
themselves. So being their cheerleaders important.

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Okay, Therapists also say a big
no no, but people do it all

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the time. Is they don't make
enough time for regular check ins. You

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know, couples get on automatic mode. Okay, you're picking up the kids

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this morning, Grede, you're gonna
pick up that for dinner. Good,

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I'll see what time you're going to
be You have that medical appointment. Great,

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gat great, great great great great
good. And that's all you talk

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about schedule doing. How about sitting
and looking into each other's eyes and saying

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you're okay, Are we okay?
Anything we need to talk about? This

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is super important to make time for
regular check ins. Now here's a big

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one. Therapists say. One of
the biggest problems for some people in their

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relationships is they put other people's needs
above their own. Let me guess women

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do that more often. They literally
become a doormat. They literally do not

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remember that in order to love somebody
else, you have to love yourself first,

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that in order to care for somebody
else, you have to put your

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own oxygen a mask on first.
If you get to a point where you

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are depleted, and I've been in
relationships like that where I think, well,

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I can just kill him with kindness, I can just give him so

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much love. He'll turn around and
everything will be fun and he'll start given

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to me. And it never happens. You know, in some relationships,

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somebody's just forever a taker. Take
er, take er, take her,

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take her. So if you want
to survive that relationship, you need to

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go take care of yourself, whether
it's going out and get a massage,

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going for other social and emotional support
with your friends. You have to put

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on your own oxygen mask first before
you can take care of others. And

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this one is not from therapist,
is from me. I'm a wise woman

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who been in a lot of relationships
in my life. One of the biggest

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mistakes people make in relationships because I
used to make it not adding enough novelty.

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You know what, Relationships don't die
because you're angry with each other or

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you hate each other. Sometimes it
happens, but more often, relationships die

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because people get bored. They get
bored in their own relationship. So novelty

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00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:52.119
doesn't necessarily mean swinging from the chandeliers
and having a wild sex life. It

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can mean that, but maybe it
means just putting your partner in a different

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setting, challenging them, doing different
things together, so that you can add

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change novelty excitement. Your brain will
thrive on that. So get out there

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and do something different. Okay,
when we come back, Instead of me

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telling you all the things you shouldn't
be doing, I'm going to give you

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some tips on what you can do
today, literally today, to transform your

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relationship quickly. You're listening to the
Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on kf I Am

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00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:30.799
six forty We're live everywhere on the
iHeartRadio app. You're listening to kf I

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00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:37.480
Am six forty on demand KFI Am
six forty. Well, you've been brought

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a doctor, at least a PhD
in clinical psychology. Okay, you know

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relationships are less about luck and far
more about skill. I say this a

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lot because I learned relationship skills myself. If you've read my books The Boyfriend

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Test, The Girlfriend Test, The
Thirty Day Loved He Talks, you know

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that I talk about a lifetime of
broken hearts, of painful breakups, of

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unrequited love, of being played by
players. And it was only through work

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with a therapist where I learned that
there was a common denominator in all my

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relationships, and it was me.
And once I learned how to have clear

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boundaries, once I learned that it's
okay to say no, Once I learned

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that it's okay to let people go
and not feel abandoned but instead feel like

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who I'm doing the touchdown cheer,
they were not right for me, gone

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right. I learned how to have
healthier relationships. And there are ways when

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you're in a long term relationship I
mentioned earlier. You know big mistakes people

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make and not adding novelty. There's
so many things you can do that are

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so simple that can actually transform your
relationship, especially if you've gotten into long

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term monotony right where you're just kind
of bored. You're on the same schedule,

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you're doing the same thing all the
time, You're looking on social media

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and think that everybody else is having
a rock and good time and you're bored

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with your partner. But do you
have the right relationship skills to transform it.

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Well, I'm going to give you
a few of them right now.

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That has been helpful to me.
Hopefully we'll be helpful to you. Here's

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a good one. Ask your partner
something new, not how was your day?

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What did you do today? Those
questions are they'll say good, fine,

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and now you're back into the monotony. How about a question like tell

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00:24:49.880 --> 00:24:56.880
me about a time when you felt
really happy recently, or explain to me

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00:24:57.000 --> 00:25:03.000
how to do this, or hey, when you were young, did you

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00:25:03.079 --> 00:25:07.559
eat this? You know I was
eating before I came here, and Julio

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00:25:07.640 --> 00:25:15.759
wanted a boyhood meal. I went
to cooking school. Okay, I can

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00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:18.400
cook anything, but no, no, no, he wanted sloppy jokes.

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Do you remember sloppy jokes when you
were a kid. It's basically a hamburger

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00:25:22.799 --> 00:25:29.400
bun with you know, Bouligners sauce
on it. Bouligners sauce. Luckily,

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I have a freezer full of homemade
Boulogne sauce packed with lots of vegetables.

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So that's how I got my kids
to eat vegetables. When they were little.

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I would finally chop twelve different vegetables
sticking in a tomato sauce with some

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hamburger and some spices, and they
were eating a salad as far as I

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00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:45.400
was concerned. So all I had
to do was thought out and pour it

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over a bun. Right, But
as we were talking, I said,

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00:25:48.400 --> 00:25:52.480
tell me about some of the meals
that you used to eat growing up,

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because I knew this was a boyhood
meal. And then I told him is

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something I said. You know,
my mom wasn't a great cook, but

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two days was always a beans and
brown bread, night, beans and brown

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bread. So this is in the
nineteen sixties and seventies. My mother,

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in a very gourmet way, would
use a can opener to open a can

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00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:14.759
of beans. We would get a
plate of beans and back then everyone had

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00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:18.240
white wonderbread, so it was a
very big deal to have whole wheat bread

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that was brown bread, we called
it, and we would have brown bread

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00:26:21.640 --> 00:26:25.359
with butter and we would pour molasses
over it. Now, I used to

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00:26:25.400 --> 00:26:29.319
think that is the most unhealthy meal
in the world. Beans and brown bread

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00:26:29.319 --> 00:26:32.440
with sweet molasses. And then someone
told me that, you know what molasses

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00:26:32.559 --> 00:26:37.920
is. It's actually everything they take
out of the sugar cane that's nutritious to

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00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:41.119
make sugar. It's all the nutrition
from the sugar cane. So it's not

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bad for you. It's actually better
for you than sugar. It's filled packed

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with nutrition. What kind of beans
though, just a can of regular baked

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00:26:48.359 --> 00:26:52.519
beans. Baked beans, Okay,
good old baked beans. So anyway,

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00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:56.119
we got into a whole conversation where
we're going back in our childhoods and talking

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about our favorite meals. We've been
together three years. He heard about beans

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00:26:59.799 --> 00:27:02.359
and round bread for the first time, and I heard about Sloppy Joe's.

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00:27:02.680 --> 00:27:07.720
So there you go. Designate a
monthly date night, like, seriously,

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00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:11.240
put it on the count. Don't
say yeah, we should do that more

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00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:14.480
often. No, no, do
it? Maybe your birthday? So like

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00:27:14.559 --> 00:27:18.960
mine is April thirtieth, So maybe
on the thirtieth of every month we go

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00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:21.759
and have a date night, or
maybe on his birthday, which is the

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00:27:21.759 --> 00:27:25.359
first the beginning of Oh wait,
that's one night into the next. It

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00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:30.119
could be an overnight our date night
thirtieth into the first designate and do it.

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00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:34.400
Don't just talk about it. Here's
something that will transform your relationship very

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00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:37.720
very quickly. I say this all
the time. I'm going to say it

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00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:41.920
again. Show gratitude, just say
thank you a lot, and more often.

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00:27:41.559 --> 00:27:45.480
Use the manners that you would use
with a stranger with the person you

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00:27:45.519 --> 00:27:49.920
live with. Watch what happens,
How kind they get, how nice they

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00:27:49.960 --> 00:27:53.839
get. I've already talked about this
earlier. Schedule a check in at least

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00:27:53.839 --> 00:27:56.960
once a week. Look at each
other and go you okay, we're okay,

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00:27:56.000 --> 00:27:59.759
we're okay. Anything we need to
talk about it takes five minutes.

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00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:04.680
And be realistic about it. Schedule
a check in. Here's the biggest one,

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00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:07.960
and you need to do it.
It's your internal work. You gotta

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00:28:08.039 --> 00:28:15.039
let go of the past, whether
the past is your own trauma that happened

385
00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:17.759
to you, and you got to
work with a therapist to do that or

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00:28:17.799 --> 00:28:22.640
whether the past is water in the
bridge in your own relationship, stuff that

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00:28:22.680 --> 00:28:25.839
you did, fights, you had, cheating that happened, whatever, let

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00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:30.799
go of it. Stay in the
present, the present, and the future.

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Get rid of the past. Show
your affection. If you're in a

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00:28:38.240 --> 00:28:44.319
long term relationship and you stopped holding
hands and touching toes when your netflix and

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00:28:44.440 --> 00:28:48.839
chill, you need to get back
to it because your body releases very important

392
00:28:48.839 --> 00:28:55.359
neuro hormones through touch. You need
to show affection. You need to hold

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00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:57.640
hands, you need to hug,
you need to look into each other's eyes.

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00:28:57.960 --> 00:29:02.960
This is not your roommate. You
may have been living together for fourteen

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00:29:03.039 --> 00:29:08.720
and a half years, it's still
not your roommate. Remind yourself why you're

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00:29:08.759 --> 00:29:15.799
there. Here's a good one.
Get to know your partner's boundaries, and

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00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:19.519
if they don't seem to have boundaries, ask them a lot. Understand where

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00:29:19.519 --> 00:29:25.000
they end and you begin. Because
a relationship is not where you just overlap

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00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.640
and you become a one person.
It's two people respecting each other's boundaries,

400
00:29:30.039 --> 00:29:33.359
what they like and what they learn. And finally, the biggest gift to

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00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:37.519
your relationship is to take care of
yourself. You know, I mentioned at

402
00:29:37.519 --> 00:29:40.599
the beginning of the show that I
went on this hot, sweaty hike today

403
00:29:40.599 --> 00:29:44.000
with my Julio and I didn't have
a stitch of makeup bon and I was

404
00:29:44.039 --> 00:29:45.720
sweating. So before I came to
work today, I took a shower.

405
00:29:45.880 --> 00:29:48.039
Wasn't that nice to me? It
wasn't a nice Christine. I took a

406
00:29:48.039 --> 00:29:51.759
shower before I came to work,
Thank you. I threw on a little

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00:29:51.839 --> 00:29:55.480
makeup, put on some heels,
some nice fitting pants, and all the

408
00:29:55.480 --> 00:29:56.400
way to the door, he kept
saying, Wow, you look so nice.

409
00:29:56.400 --> 00:29:59.599
It looks nice. I winked downhim. I go, you forgot you

410
00:29:59.680 --> 00:30:03.039
forgot right. Take care of yourself, dress up for your partner. Get

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00:30:03.079 --> 00:30:07.920
out of those sweats, Remind them
who you are. Be on a first

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00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:11.880
date every once in a while.
Act that way with your partner. Get

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00:30:11.920 --> 00:30:19.039
out that razor, guys or ladies
whatever, you could share it exactly,

414
00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:22.759
No, no, don't share razors. That's dangerous, glood to sharing blood

415
00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:27.240
whatever. Anyway. On that note, that brings the Doctor Wendy Walls Show

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00:30:27.319 --> 00:30:30.759
to a close. You know,
if you missed any part of the show,

417
00:30:30.839 --> 00:30:33.880
or any week of the show,
you can always listen to it by

418
00:30:33.920 --> 00:30:37.759
downloading the iHeartRadio app. They're all
there the Doctor Wendy Wells Show. Christina,

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00:30:37.839 --> 00:30:41.200
What a pleasure to have you here. I do miss Kayla. Kayla

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00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:44.759
can't wait to see her again next
week. But you know, it's so

421
00:30:44.880 --> 00:30:48.160
nice to just have a novelty right, you're right, freshen it up,

422
00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:52.640
You're right, Kaya does see a
great job helping out and boy, it

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00:30:52.680 --> 00:30:55.480
was a it was an honor to
be able to step in. Goes quick

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00:30:55.480 --> 00:30:57.400
this two hours roll. Thanks for
your work on the board, Courtney,

425
00:30:57.400 --> 00:31:00.960
Welcome to KFI. It's a wonderful
to see a new face. Thank you

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00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:06.640
so much. Our program director Robin
Bertalucci is a savior and a wonderful woman

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00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:10.000
for always encouraging women in radio.
So it's nice have a female voice here.

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00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:11.559
Too, good to have you here. You've been listening to The Doctor

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00:31:11.559 --> 00:31:15.079
Wendy Walls Show on kf I AM
six forty. We're live everywhere on the

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00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:19.640
iHeart Radio app kf I AM six
forty on demand