Welcome to Buns and Banter, a podcast buy work Busties for work Busties.
Hey, I'm Lauren and I'm Ali. We're both morning show hosts for iHeartMedia.
We're both millennials, and we're both trying to figure out how to build
the lives we dream about, dating, marriage, career, career and being
a mom. How to get through a week without crying. Welcome to Buns
and Banter. We're glad you're here. Oh, I feel like I want
to take my shoes off today. Oh down, I want to take my
shoes off today. And man, oh man, man oh man. Okay,
I thought this would be a good like midsummer check in. Yeah,
and I feel like we've got a lot to discuss or at least event about.
Yep. You know, I just like I don't understand why things have
to happen veryan full stop, full stop. I just like, you know,
I love I love golfing, and I love that it's something that Yimy
and I can do together. Yeah, And we've been golfing a lot,
and he likes to golf at like nicer courses like I'm happy at like the
twenty dollars nine hole twilight. You know, like I'm I'm good, but
he likes a little bit nicer of a course. Which at these courses,
if you book a tea time for just the two of you, they will
pair you with other groups and like other twosomes. I didn't know that was
a thing. I don't like that. It's the worst part about golf,
and like sometimes it's really really great. Like we played with two guys a
little while ago and they were awesome. They were like so nice and so
chill and like we had a great time. However, about a week ago,
we I thought we were gonna get away with it. When we were
teeing off on the first hole we were trying to get it was like six
o'clock. We were fighting the sunset. Yeah, and like you know,
we were going to try to play eighteen. And this was the day before
fourth of July, so you know, there was like there weren't like too
many people there because everyone's up town, right, So they were like,
oh, we were gonna pair you with another group, but I don't think
they showed up. So you know, you guys might just be good to
go, and we were like yes, like you can just like go fast
it's just the two of us, Like, it's just a more comfortable situation,
not what happens. So we we tea off. We play the first
hole and the starter the golf courtse guy comes barreling down the first hole.
He's like, they made it. It's a super nice couple, like you
guys will have a class, like it's like a double date and you guys
like they seem super nice. And I was like, oh, Mark,
my man. But like you know, okay, whatever, no one wants
to be in this situation. You know, we're polite and this is like
a community space whatever. So we we were instructed to wait for them at
the second tea box, and so we're waiting there and they pull up and
Jimmy's like already out of the cart, like shaking this guy's hand and like
his This woman walks up to me. She's like, Hi, you know,
how are you blah blah blah. I shit you not, I shit
you not. It's a guy I went on several dates with LASSI honest to
god, that is so unkind of the universe. The hell, what the
hell, what the hell? And like what are the chances? I just
like sat there like what do I do. Like I wasn't prepared for this,
Like I don't know how to handle this situation. Like obviously the fail
safe is just like you be nice, you're polite, don't make it awkward
like you just were. Yeah, it's about the situation. But this threw
me. This threw me. So like Jimmy introduces himself to this guy,
I his girlfriend introduces himself to me, and then it like got to the
point where like I was gonna have to introduce myself or he was gonna have
to introduce himself, oh yeah to me, And I was like shit,
what do I say? Like, Hey, good to see you. So
he just like extended his hand and he was like, Hi, nice to
meet you. And I was like, yeah, nice to meet you.
Really, yeah, he just played it. He did it like that.
Maybe he didn't remember me, You're memorable. Maybe he didn't remember at Shady.
So like, you know, my heart is going like one hundred and
fifty beats per minute, like I cannot and like it wasn't like it was
a terrible ending. It just like it didn't work out. We weren't interested
in pursuing. So it's not like it was some like he didn't do you
dirty. Yeah, he didn't get he didn't like do me. It wasn't
like a dramatic ending or anything like that, but I did like want I
just like didn't want to make Jimmy feel uncomfortable and I didn't want to make
sure them feel uncomfortable. And I also didn't want to be like, hey,
so everybody you just saw everyone know. Like I just didn't know what
to do. So I ended up telling Jimmy and just being like, hey,
just so you know, like I did go on a couple of dates
with this guy last summer, so you tell them this. So when you're
out on the course still, yeah, obviously, yeah yeah, oh yeah.
Like we beat off on the second hole and then like as soon as
we drove away, I was like, hey code blue her. But they
were they. I mean, like the the girlfriend was like super nice,
except for like there there was this moment where like the guys were doing whatever
the guys were doing, and like I was kind of talking to her.
She's so sweet, so cool, so nice. Lives in Chicago, oh
awesome, yeah, And like at one she was like where do you live?
And I was like, I live, you know, just outside of
East Grand Rapids and she was like, oh my god, that's crazy.
That's where he lives. And I was like, oh, no, way,
like I had to what you don't say? And like I I,
oh, I never even got far enough where I was like over at his
house or he picked me up for my house one time before we like went
on a date or whatever. But this would happen to you. Yeah,
And then you know, she was like, yeah, we've been dating for
like about a year. And I was like, oh, oh wait,
that's a tight timeline, like just over a year, just under a year
when you say about a year, But like I didn't, I didn't push
her on it because like I did not want to know. And Jimmy,
Jimmy was like, wait, when when did you say you guys? And
I'm like trying to do the math, and I'm like, yeah, would
have been like last summer, like just before we really got into like summer
summer. And he was like, if if he asks how long we've been
dating, I'm gonna tell him two years. And I was like, I
support that, please do it, please do it. But like just most
and everyone did a wonderful job. Jid, we did a wonderful job.
I did the best I could. Oh my god, I did the best
I could. I don't think she knew. I don't think she knew at
all. I mean I would have I would have brought I would have brought
it up, like when I was introducing. I would have been like,
oh, I would have it's great to see you again, because then I
just feel like it's so weird to be like, oh, okay, so
we are hiding this, or if I accident then I'm on edge like myself,
like if I accidentally slip up and mention something, especially if they've been
dating about a year and yeah, like I just like I was like this,
this wasn't the relax golf game I was expecting. And it's not like
you like run into them at a restaurant and you're like oh hey, like
no, no, no, You're saddled with these people for two hours two
hours. Ooh it was wild and I never want to do it again.
Thanks so much for doing that to us, golf course stop. So the
planets aligning on that is almost unheard of. Yeah, it was wild.
It was wild. Have you ever run into an X when you and Chris,
I mean you guys are married so like running into an X when you're
married, I feel like, is totally different than when you've been dating for
six months. The weird the weird one was last summer. Actually, I
went and did a bunch of hosting at what was the there was the big
Miskigan event on the fourth of July. Yeah, they had this huge like
festival and EDM show, and I was out there doing a bunch of stuff.
And at that point, so that would have been Chris's and my like
eighth almost eighth year of being married. Yeah, and we'd been together for
a bit before that, but we had a two year break right when I
started working for iHeart And there was a guy there that was like Lauren Lauren,
which automatically triggers me a bit because nobody calls me by my real name
unless they don't have an affiliation here with me, you know. So I
was like, who could this? Who could this be? And I don't
immediately recognize him, and I'm like, this has to be someone from the
past, yay. And it was indeed the dude that asked me out at
the laundromat while I was pulling my panties out at the dryer. Love that
and I was like, oh, so and so, and he's like,
I did. I did. I went way back, way back, because
we'd gone on a couple dates. And oh, to be fair, it
might have been me. I don't know, like I didn't really I started
seeing another guy after that. I was. I was so in Oh,
it's a bet during at two years trying to I mean, just you know,
make sure that I was headed in the right direction. And it would
have been totally fine and not weird because it had been so long. But
then he was weird. And he was like, God, I can't tell
you how good it is to see you. No, and he not.
And he knew lots of things about me. He knew about my two kids,
he knew about Chris, he knew things that I'd been doing. And
I was like, I don't even think I'm social media friends with you?
Man? How did this all? And then his girlfriend is standing right next
to him, getting increasingly more uncomfortable and rage filled, and I was like,
all right, man, like it's it's super great. I've got a
bunch of stagers to do. So Unfortunately, like I'm gonna be backstage,
I'm walking away, and I see her turn to him and like smack him
in the chest. It would got to be that uncomfortable. And I'm just
like, what is it? She was beautiful, looked fun and I'm like,
no, no, we don't do that. I dated you like ten
years ago. You were the great white Buffalo, the great white I don't
think so maybe were Oh god, I didn't feel like where either. Dinner
felt that way and it was to and done. Yeah. Man, it's
weird when that stuff comes back. Oh so never again. She pats her
hair. Ever again. You did it, you know, two hours though,
Like West Michigan, I cannot tell you the last time I saw like
I ran into an ex like out and about by myself. Yeah you know
what I mean. It feels like we're getting to be big enough. It
doesn't happen. And then to run it just like such a specific place and
out of all the places in West Michigan, you had to pick this golf
course at this exact time, Like there were just there were too many details
that had to just work out exactly because like, okay, you're at the
same golf course. There aren't a ton of golf courses in West Michigan,
but there are there's enough but the time like to choose the like choose the
time ten minutes behind us was just north of July weekend, north of July
weekend. I was like, why am I being punished from the universe,
and like it really it wasn't a punishment because like it really wasn't a miserable
situation. It just like it wasn't my first choice right of situation. It's
still gonna be somewhat uncomfortable because you're still like, let's act natural, but
then when you act natural, you're like, I don't feel like I'm acting
natural. And then I was like so self conscious about like everything that I
was doing, yeah, because I was like I want to be like nice
and friendly, but not too nice and friendly. M h, and like
I don't some mental load, but I don't know if she's clued into the
situation, so I don't want to. Like my ideal situation would have just
been to have been like what are the chances exist like about it, and
then like we're both with other people, like we're super happy, like obviously
the right events happen and like everything worked out for nobody can be mad because
nobody planned this right, and like it just like it could have been just
like so much less awkward, but there was just like this like lingering awkwardness,
and I was like, I don't know what to do to like make
this not awkward. But I also wanted to be so conscious of like Jimmy
not being uncomfortable, and like it wasn't he was great, and I just
like am so that I'd be nervous, like I can't drink because I'll drink
too much and be like, is anyone else uncomfortable? It's because we've dated.
We I drink great times. I had like seventeen high nutes. I
was like every time the car girls coming around, I was like, over
here, beat me up, Scottiere. And then like I also felt like
I played like shit, which was like another I don't like playing like shit
in front of everyone, Like I don't like playing like shit in front of
Jimmy or anyone I've gone on any number of dates with or their girlfriend of
questionable timelines. That's terrible. Come on. She probably she probably meant like
just shy of a year and that math works out, but like also maybe
she didn't mean just maybe it didn't work out, and that would actually explain
a few things. Oh see. Oh, but honestly, like it just
so perfect perfect lead in here. How would you say your midsummer mental health
is doing? You know, not too bad, not too bad. I
just want that sounder right, They're not over good. I don't know what.
My voice keeps going up like that, Like I feel I feel good
right now. But then like I think about like the last like month and
a half, and like I've worked every single weekend and yeah, then I
felt like it was a huge race to get everything done before the fourth of
July. And then I really put a lot of pressure on that Fourth of
July break because I needed to enjoy enjoy it. I needed the reset,
and like I really really have been feeling burned out. And then I just
made some choices like staying up really late and like having more drinks than I
should have and not using that time to reset. Do you do that to
yourself? Sosolutely, I feel the exact same way you, like, rebel
against the healthy choices that you need to make, Like I should go to
bed early, and I should clean the house and I should do all of
the things that I know will set me up for success after this break.
But I just can't. I want to stay up late, I want to
eat like shit, I want to drink, and I want to have a
little fun and let off a little steam. And I can't do all of
it. So I gotta pick. There's two things there for me. The
one I feel like the long summer holiday weekends, your Memorial Day, your
Fourth of July, your Labor Day, are like the Friday slash Saturday nights
of the week where you have the revenge bedtime. Yeah. I feel like
I didn't get what feels like any me time this entire week, and so
like as a mom, I'll put my kids down and then all of a
sudden, it's two thirty in the morning. I did nothing with my life.
I watched Netflix for six hours. I doom scrolled. I did all
that exactly how holiday weekends go for me. And I've got to get better
about this because I don't think I do it in any other season. I
put so much massive pressure on summer. Yeah, oh my god, And
so you nailed it. When you're talking about the fourth of July weekend,
I was like, Okay, we're gonna have people over on the fourth.
It's gonna be great. Then I worked on Friday, But then I like
jet it out of here packed. My kids went up North insanity back home
on Sunday, which was the worst because the traffic was unbelievable. Then you
wake up Monday morning and your body's like, oh, what the fuck did
we just do? Yeah? Like that was supposed to be four days of
a nice reset and it was just spent like oop, Hope I'm creating enough
memories, Hope we're having enough fun. Hope this is something I can post
about and be as great as everybody else that seems to be having super relaxing
body fun times on the fourth Yeah, and then you are just like,
I have a forty eight hour like weakness for anything. If I work out,
it's never that I'm store the next day. It's forty eight hours later
coming home from a holiday weekend. It's not Monday that gets me. It's
that Tuesday where I wake up and my body's like, you, we've got
to rethink what we're doing here, Like, hey, you can't live on
hot dogs for five days. Have a vegetable drink water? Yeah, but
like, and it's just then you're just mad at yourself. Just nobody else's
fault. I did all of that to myself, and then you get in
this stupid, like depressive spiral and you're like, don't worry, I'll fix
it on Labor Day weekend the next summer break, and like fourth of July,
I'm like, summer's over. Yeah, where did summer go? Like
it was just June and now all of a sudden, like fourth of July,
and now all of a sudden, it's July. What tenth, eleven,
twelve, thirteen, We're into the middle of July. Over for some
kids, they are back in school in like four weeks. Oh, I
know. My kid just asked me about its Halloween costume the other day.
You're kidding. Now. I was like, okay, to be fair,
you're like obsessively obsessed with Halloween. But I was like, bro, you've
got like a like a pretty big three months, and he just was like,
well, fourth of July is over, so summer's done. I'm like
who for some people, but not not the stressed out month that needs to
figure out what we're gonna do on Halloween. Hallmark did start Christmas in July.
Oh my god, the Christmas in July. Yeah, yeah, it's
coming. I'm already getting the messages yep, on my on my Christmas station.
I don't know. I was just like trying to google helpful tips because
I thought, Man, I wonder if there's other people that kind of just
feel that way, that just summer lethargy. Is that? Am I saying
that? Right? Am I using that? Yeah? I'm using that the
right way. I think so lethargic. I know whatever, you guys,
my brain is freaking fried. I know everyone. Yeah, for some it
all of our brains are fried. But it can be negative effects of summer.
Summer weather can lead to anxiety, aggressiveness, and higher levels of stress
hormones, especially with the heat, reduced motivation, decreased mood. They're like,
it's great to be in the sun. Your vitamin D is like boo.
But then you feel all this pressure to take advantage of the beautiful months
that we have. It was, oh my god, I saw like somebody
post something yesterday and it was called like like weather regrets. So when you're
sitting in your house and it's a beautiful day outside and you should definitely go
outside, but you don't really feel like going outside, so you spend the
whole day feeling really shitty. That you never went outside. Yes, I
do that all the time. I do that all the time, especially when
I come home after work and like I need a n app oh like,
but what I should do is take the dog for a walk. But it's
too hot at present to take the dog for a walk, so I'm gonna
have to wait until like six seven. But then at six seven, I'm
like, fuck that, right tomorrow. I told you, like Chaftsmacman got
us a new h back. Yeah, this is the first time I've had
central air and ten plus years. Oh, I've never I have not had
central air since college. Every place I rented after college did not have it.
So we have had window units even through our first home. So I'm
sending inside and I'm like, yeah, it's beautiful out there, but it's
sixty eight in here, and I'm just I don't do it. I'm just
a freaking slug on the couch. Amazing. Yeah, I just oh,
I'm sorry. I did get some things done. I just wrapped up The
Man with a thousand Kids Dot documentary on Netflix. So that's what I have
to show for that doctor who like was inseminating his patients with his own sperm.
This is a man from the Netherlands that called himself a super donor and
they think conservatively he has fathered possibly three thousand kids. Oh, you gotta
watch it. It's insane. It just it just dropped. That's insane.
So yeah, I guess I have something to show for the fact not outside
and join the summer weather. That's insane. Yeah, it's really good though.
You know what I watched. I fell asleep towards the end of it.
But I started watching the Mars Opportunity and Spirit documentary. God no,
so like the robots, Yeah, they need to like explore Mars and they're
so human like and cute and like almost emotive and like these robots were supposed
to be on Mars for ninety days and they ended up being there for like
fifteen years. Yeah, and it was just incredible, and there is Jimmy
and I both agreed that, like there's a super cute scientist from Ghana and
we were like, they need to make a separate documentary just about him.
Like we have so many questions. What is it on? I think it's
I love that stuff, Maybe like HBO or maybe Amazon. I don't know.
I'll have to check and get back to you, but it's giving me
wally vibes. It totally does. It totally does. And like they play
a song every morning to like set the mood for the day, but also
like wake the robots up. What so they choose like Abba and Queen and
like all of these and these people there they have like obviously so much invested
in it because this is like decades of their careers. They spend like ten
years researching this and then building it and then to see like it actualized and
for these things to land on the moon. I can't remember the exact analogy,
but it was like throwing a golf ball off of the Sears Tower and
like having it land in a like golf hole on the other side of the
world. Oh my god, that was getting these from And if there was
like a really good analogy. Yeah, and there was like this window where
because you know, the what is this help the moon the lunar what circular
radius radius? Yeah, but like the diameter no, when the rotate not
rotates around the Sun the Earth, I use rotate rotate. I think you're
right, Okay, whatever, But like if they if they didn't get it
right the first time, they had to wait twenty six months to try again.
Oh my god, like shakes were high. This sounds fascinating. I
did fall asleep. It was really late, and it was after that round
of golf and I was like, forget it. This was after the golf.
You were like, please God put me on Mars. Yes. Yes.
All I had to show for mine was like how often they kept saying
the word sperm And I'm a toddler. I was like, I mean,
I know how babies are made, but this different word. Did this man
get paid for each donation? Is that why he did this? What was
his Why they think it? They think and he actually I didn't even read
it. He apparently like released a statement like yesterday about this. Oh no
way, yes, because this is like shot to the top of the Netflix
chart and so many people are talking about it now. There were so he
was going around to like eleven different banks just in the Netherlands, and all
of these women, all these moms started to put together like wait a minute,
they're finding him in Facebook groups and all these things. He's had like
a ton of different aliases and they think he had a god complex because then
it's so insane and I don't want to give much away because every episode starts
with like another bombshell about this. But then they realized he was going to
other countries, like he's got I don't know what country they left off the
map honestly, that he's been to. And it all leads to a lawsuit
where they're trying to take his reproductive rights away, saying you have to stop.
This is a threat to human health, This is a threat to our
children because they're gonna have no idea who they can and can't be with in
the future because of potential incest. That's so, it's true. Why I
didn't even think about the incest. It's wild. It's so crazy, and
like the Netherlands not that big, and that's where I started. And then
they were like, oh my god, he's gone to the Netherlands. He's
gone to Germany, he's gone to the UK, he's gone he's come to
the US, he's gone to Canada, he's gone to Mexico. His pardon
me seed is everywhere, and it was crazy, and it was really really
like the end of it was this whole court proceedings recent This was like last
year. Oh my god, what did his statement say? Did you read
it? And I gotta look it up. We'll look it up right now.
It's really really we will wait, really worth. I wonder if he
pops up as like one of the first ones. It's also wild because his
name is Jonathan Jacob Meyer. And I kept thinking, like I gotta go
to Meyer of the grocers in the house. Slam oh, threatens slander suit.
Dude, Yeah, they always do, they always do. He did
not participate in the docuseries. He claims he's fathered approximately five hundred and fifty
children, not a thousand as the title suggested, but the doc alleges he
lied to even more families about the number of offspring. He said, technically,
I did not lie. I followed the guidelines of every large commercial international
sperm bank that does not inform the recipients about the amount of offspring one donor
will produce. I was doing a much better thing. I gave the parents
an estimated number. This was better and more info than they would ever get
at any clinic. He's absolutely and like nuts, you know how they say,
like there there's a rule for a reason. Yeah, Like and you
know you don't have rules like this because you don't run into something like this
until you run into something like this, And now this is going to have
to be a hard and fast rule at every single sperm bank that exists,
Like Nope, you can donate. What's crazy? What would a responsible number
be for someone like I don't know how many people donate to sperm banks on
average. And that's the thing, it's not that regulated. There's an American
woman, Eve, and I can't remember her last name, but she made
the news here because when she was she was a victim of the doctor you're
talking about, right. She found out when she was thirty, as did
her parents, that the doctor had inseminated her mom with his sperm instead of
her dad's sperm. So she's been on this like legal crusade because she's like
it is more regulated for like puppy mills and cattle to not be bred to
reproduce like this, right humans, She said, there's almost like no enforcement
for anything. It's so insane. It's a fascinating watch, especially like I
don't know if you ever think that you might have to, you know,
do something like that or look to something like that. It was a crazy
watch three episodes and I was just like, but that's his thing. He's
just like he wanted to have a father relationship with all kids. He was
like he was going to people's houses and doing it the natural way. It
was nuts, And that's all I can give away because it's like just you've
got to sit there. It was my before work show. So I'd come
in here and be like, look at an all these men I work with,
like sperm everywhere. Yeah, golf courses, sperm donors, Mars rovers,
Mars rovers work cover it all. The world isn't big enough. That's
the takeaway here. We need we gotta find another planet man, But good
luck with that. Mental health. Yeah, here's the second half of summer.