WEBVTT

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Fair warning on the Minnesota Goodbye.
Some of these I have looked through.

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Some of these I have not looked
through. So let's take a look and

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see what we get. Are you
ready for some adventures, Jenny, I

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love an adventure unexplored territory here in
the Minnesota Goodbye. Chris from Northfield.

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Again, I always hear you guys
say we're running out of time. Are

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you only allowed to spend a certain
amount of time on a certain topic and

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have to move on? Or are
you required to play so many commercials per

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hour? Just curious? Keep kicking
anus, Chris from Northfield, Thank you.

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I'm gonna it is keep kicking anus. It did, keep keep kicking

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anus. It's funny buried that line
right there. Okay, keep let's move

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on. When you're talking about the
Minnesota Goodbye, A lot of the time

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we are recording and then another project
is like waiting, like we have a

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phone call, we have an appointment
where we have a zoom call and it's

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coming up in like you know,
we look at the clock and go,

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oh, we got fifteen twenty minutes
to record the Minnesota Goodbye, and we'll

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do it before that phone call or
before that zoom meeting or whatever. So

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then we look at the clock and
Jenny is usually good at giving me a

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little wrap up signal and then we
wrap it up. And I told Jenny,

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and this works out really well.
If you give me a wrap up

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signal with ten seconds left, I
panic. But if you give me a

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wrap up signal with a minute left, I'm like, oh a minute,

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yep. On the Morning Show,
we do have to stick to a schedule

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that gets us into commercials within a
reasonable amount of time. They have this

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commercial scheduled and it's not set in
stone, but they like them to be

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as close to that schedule time as
possible. Next one, good morning,

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best, he says, Mary Anne. You guys, you guys, you

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guys. Guess what I got my
sticker? Thank you see you at the

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State Fair. That is mary Anne. I know Mary Anne because she came

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up last year at the State Fair
and she cracked me the f up because

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she's like, Hi, I'm doing
the depression of Drake. This is my

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Drake impression. And for a listener, especially a woman, to come up

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and do that just crack me up
and surprised me so super funny. And

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she has showing off her staff writer
and Dave Ryan stickers. It looks like

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you're in your car, which is
interesting. Does she have it like plastered

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like the sticker in her car?
It's on her computer, it's on her

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laptop. Okay, okay, cool, I love it. Thank you,

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Maryanne Play. Maybe she's a sales
rep and she's working in her car.

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I bet she is, because she's
had a big personality. Yeah, okay,

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we're gonna skip on that one.
Here we go. Random one that

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I have not pre read. Hello, David Jenny. Listening to the show

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for years. I just started listening
to the Minnesota Goodbye though I'm all the

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way in Ohio. Listening to your
podcast last night before I went to sleep,

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must have had an impression on me, because I had a dream with

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both of you in it. Well, let's see what happened. Weird.

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Since I've never met you, I've
just heard your voices. When I started

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writing this email, the dream was
somewhat fresh on my mind, but now

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I lost what happened. I hate
when that happened. So sorry, because

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I wanted to tell you about the
odd happening in my dream, But like

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I said, I can't remember anyway. I'd love a staff writer sticker if

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I could get one. I have
been wondering what dart Lick means, and

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now I saw his description on an
upcoming podcast that I haven't heard yet from

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last year, So I'm looking forward
to hearing the story on there, unless

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I get surprised with the description hitting
a newer podcast before then. Nonetheless,

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dart Lick about the great work on
your show and the podcast that is Andrew

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in Ohio. Oh, Andrew,
you are in for a surprise when you

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find out what dart lick or maybe
that's an idea. Also, did he

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say he has no idea what we
look like? Yep, and he had

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a dream about us. That's super
interesting And also coincidentally, I listened to

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this one podcast and I know who
the two people look like, and they

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were in my dream last last night, really, and I don't remember,

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of course what the dream was about
either, but I remember like there ones

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a DJ in New York and another
one's a comedian, and I remember being

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in New York and I think I
was like on a podcast with them,

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and that's all I can remember.
So that's weird because I'm never dreamt about

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like radio podcast people before doesn't it
surprise you the things that pop up in

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your dreams, and most of us
are the same way. You remember a

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little bit but not much. I
have a recurring dream almost nightly. That's

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not a bad dream, but I'm
packing up to go home. So I'm

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getting I've been at a boy scout
camp or I've been somewhere and we're trying

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to pack up, but my stuff
is scattered everywhere and I can't get it

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all together, and I got a
plane to catch. And it's not a

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horrible dream. It's just like I've
got to get all this stuff packed up

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because we're going home today. Yes, I've had the packing dream before i've

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and so I know we've I think
we've had like the dream expert on to

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like describe this one. And so
I'm trying to do. You want me

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to tell you what I just googled
as I'm looking this recurring dream up.

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Yes, sure I have it too. So it says it could mean you're

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you run out of time and cannot
Nope, that's not what it means.

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Never mind, this is some weird
blogger who has not giving me like the

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accurate information. You know what I
mean. I'm going to put it on

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there. Here's what I'm going to
guess somebody listening to the show will interpret

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their dream like I have a dream
all the time. A lot of people

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have that your teeth are falling out, like your teeth are kind of coming

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out in crumbles or chunks or whatever. And I don't have that one often.

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And that used to mean I think
you're not in control of your life.

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And I used to have that one
quite often. I have the one

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that is also very common, and
that is where it's like the last day

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of school, there's a big final
coming up, you don't know, you

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haven't been going to class yep,
you don't know where your locker is,

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you don't know your locker combination,
and you're like, am I going to

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graduate because I haven't been going to
this class since like the first couple of

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days, and blah blah blah.
Do you ever have that one? I

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have that one about college that it's
my senior year and suddenly my second semester,

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I didn't take enough credits and I'm
probably not going to graduate on time.

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And we did ask the dream expert
about my specific dream, and she

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said that it means in situations like
that when it goes back to school,

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it means that you feel you're undervalued
or something. I might be misspeaking,

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but it has something to do along
those lines. So because I think a

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lot of people have kind of those
school dreams of you know, I'm like,

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I don't know. That's my big
one. I have that a lot

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about college that I like, did
not I'm not going to graduate on time.

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I screwed something up. It means
something because my dad told me that

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he had that dream, like in
the last decade of his life, and

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he lived to be eighty eight years
old and he hadn't been in high school

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in a long time. I still
had that dream. Top of the Morning,

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Dave and Jenny. I've listened to
every Minnesota Goodbye, but this is

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my first time emailing. You asked
about not getting to the end of the

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podcast, and I am part of
that club, I said, who listens

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but don't listen to the whole thing. The Minnesota Goodbye push me to sleep

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each night. Something about the laid
back banner puts my busy mind at ease

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and helps me drift off to sleep. I pop in my headphone, set

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the sleep timer and the iHeart app
fire at the minute, so to goodbye

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and close my eyes. That is
awesome. I love that you're using the

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app that way and figured it out. Your jury duty discussion reminded me that

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the three times I've been called for
it, I sat on a trial each

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time. Oh wow, interesting experience
and worth it. I had a messy

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case if you hicke it or homicide, but the people you share the box

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with bond together and get through it. Although I'm firmly in Minnesota now,

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credit due to my home state of
Wisconsin for being super generous about feeding jurors.

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Our baylif's bailiff let us order anything
we wanted for takeout meals, including

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dessert. In four days, I
gained five pounds and sent someone to jail.

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Final thought and an offer. I
always wanted to pay for somebody's groceries

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or for the person behind me in
the dry through, but I forget or

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I don't know how to ask.
So Dave, setting aside the obvious that

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you should be able to expense it, would you allow me to venmo use

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some money for the next order of
staff writers stickers. It would feel good

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to do something nice for this community
of listeners. You can use my name

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Patrick, Absolutely, patch, yes
if you want to, because it comes

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out of my own pocket. Yeah, it does. I mean everything from

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the morning show mugs, to the
studio cameras, to the stickers to the

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pens, They've all come out of
my pocket. And I'm not complaining because

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I like having staff writer stickers.
These flags that you see on the microphone

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that say the Dave Ryan Show,
they came out of my own pocket because

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I don't like to have a lesser
than a radio show just because the station

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doesn't want to spend the money.
So yes, Patrick, I'm going to

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write you back. I'm going to
flag your email so I can write you

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back in a minute and give you
my VENMO. And you know what,

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I hate to even take him up
on that offer, But if you want

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to do something nice and get people
that you don't even know a staff writer

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sticker, I love it. Next
one, Brian says, Hello, David.

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Oh wait, hold on, if
you read this on the air,

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don't say my name. Hold on, let me see if I want to

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read it on the airm Okay,
I'm gonna skip that one because I will

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send her a staff writer sticker,
but not send the email or not not

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read the email, So okay,
let's let's move on from that one.

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Uh. This one says Dave,
I remember you saying your dad was a

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glass blower. On a recent trip
to Riga, Latvia, I came across

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these magnificent handles on a hotel door
and entry door in the shape of a

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glass blower. Thought of you and
figured you might appreciate it. Even across

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the globe, we can always find
things that remind us as home, even

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if indirectly. These are beautiful.
They are because you can't see them.

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I will just describe them to you. They're door handles, and they are

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a male figure standing up and he's
got basically it looks like an upside down

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balloon on a string and he's blowing
glass. Cool. What the significance is

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of that, I have no idea, but they really are beautiful, and

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it says wishing you and Jenny a
wonderful day. Thank you for crum crystal.

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Okay, not me, just googling
where Latvia is. I had no

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idea where is Latvia. It's it's
next to Estonia, Lithuania, right next

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to Russia. So it's on that
border over there. Yeah, it's part

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of I believe part of Europe then, obviously, but had no idea.

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Crystal. I got to ask you, what are you doing in Latvia?

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Can you live there? Or is
it a great place? A little hidden

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gem to vacation? Hannah writes in
Hannah says, I got a question.

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Why are cats such assholes? Oh? My gosh, yeah, I mean

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seriously. I got a cat.
His name is Palette, and he was

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three weeks old when we found him. No mama, so I raised this

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motherfucker from bottle age. I thought
he'd be all cuddly and stuff, but

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because of that wrong, he is
so mean to me, just me.

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I'm the only one that feeds him, so talk about literally biting the hand

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that feeds you. He stays in
the basement because one of my kids is

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terrified of him, and my dog's
chasing like crazy. He steals laundry out

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of my laundry baskets and shreds it, destroys socks all the time. I

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got to chase him around when he
gets send it something. He sits in

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the dryer when I'm trying to put
clothes in. Then he gets mad at

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me when I take him out,
and he bites my ankles and calves.

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Then when I go upstairs, he
tries to bite my knuckles when I have

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a basket, then scratches the back
of my calves as I pass it to

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go through the door. I would
never put up with a dog biting me

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constantly, So why do I put
up with this cat? He's lucky,

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our house is one hundred and fifty
years old, and he's a good mouse

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cat. And that I'm not too
much of a sucker, or that I'm

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too much of a sucker to ever
get rid of an animal, because damn

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it, why do I love him? Not gonna lie? I one hundred

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percent prefer my dogs, though,
and I'm not ashamed of that. Hannah,

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you are a staff writer that is
writing right there. I loved how

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you gracefully worked in how you raise
this motherfucker from bottle age. Why are

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cat's assholes? I don't know.
Why are the assholes? I don't know?

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And I would say seventy five percent
of the cats that I know that

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my friends or family have are legitimate
assholes. Only two are like the nice

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cuddly cats and chill, But most
of them are jerks. Like God,

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I lived with my sister for a
year, and her cat Rascal kept us

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up every night or at the door
because we'd shut our doors. Otherwise he'd

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meet like and none. He'd want
to get in the room and then he'd

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come out. And it was a
nightmare living with that cat and most other

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ones. I know that Falon's cat
Edith is a little bit of a bitch.

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Roger. That's your enemy, your
mortal enemy, and your household.

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He's not that bad, he just
I will give you an example. So

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he won't sleep with me when Susan's
gone. When Susan we sleep in separate

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bedrooms we have for a while because
Susan kicks and she snores and I snore.

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So the cat always sleeps not only
with Susan, but on Susan,

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like it'll sleep between her legs or
on her chest or on her back.

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Uh huh. And when Susan's not
there, the cat won't sleep with me.

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I'll sleep in that bed because it's
a better bed, but the cat

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won't sleep with me. The cat
will sleep downstairs on top of Josie's kennel.

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Okay, so Josie's got a kennel
and there's a cat bed on the

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top of buddies. They're like bunk
bed buddies. It is kind of cue.

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But the cat does not like me. I mean, it doesn't dislike

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me. We're just not close.
Yeah, next one, I got a

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funny poop story. Oh good,
here we go. Night before deer hunting

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started here in Wisconsin. Every year
on that night, everybody in the hunting

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crew and their spouses and kids all
get together to share a meal and kick

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off hunting season. One year,
the crew decided to do pot luck instead

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of meeting in a restaurant. One
of the eldest cousins brought some homemade chili.

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Yep, fast forward to five am
the next morning. Every single person

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who ate that chili had their stomach
churning. Most of the hunters were already

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00:13:48.399 --> 00:13:52.399
and their deer stands when they started
to feel the rumbles. So imagine a

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00:13:52.440 --> 00:13:56.200
bunch of big, burly men squatting
from a tree stand or pooping out of

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a tree. Most of them were
not prepared with toilet paper either. We

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left about it for a long time
afterward, and they haven't done a lot.

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They haven't done a pot luck since. Dang. I wonder what was

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wrong with the chili. I don't
know maybe was sitting out of the counter

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too long or something. PS.
I already got my sticker and it was

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exciting to get an envelope with Dave's
handwriting on it. So thank you.

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I love that I do sit there
and hand address all of those envelopes and

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00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:26.159
set it out. So and I
think, how are we doing for time?

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Jenny doing? We've got a little
bit more time? Yeah, time,

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Okay, sure we do. Okay. I love telling stories about my

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emergency poos. Okay, here comes
another one. Over the last few years,

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I've struggled with urgency and liquid shit
issues. For some reason, it

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always seems to occur when I'm driving. Important note, I live in a

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rural community where gas stations are not
every half mile or so. My first

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time shitting in the woods Jesus Christ, I live in a rural wait hold

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on very small font. My fiance
and I at the time were hunting in

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a vast forest area, already miles
away from the campground where there was a

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porta potty. I had the urgency. My now husband pulled over, gave

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me the emergency TP. We carrying
the car, I took a walk into

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the woods off the gravel road and
shit my brains out under a pine tree.

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I still say it was the most
peaceful shit I've ever taken. Okay,

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in the middle of the woods with
fresh snowfall, under a pine tree

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and the peacefulness of the forest.
Lol. One time my husband and I

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both pooped together, but not in
the same spot where we could see each

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other in the woods, or on
another hunting trip, same forest. On

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00:15:41.639 --> 00:15:43.480
my birthday last year, I shit
in the driver's seat of my car on

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the side of the dry highway.
I took my winter coat off, shit

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00:15:48.720 --> 00:15:52.320
on it, diarrhea and did my
best to clean up. I'm gonna gag,

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00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:54.960
Jenny, Oh my god, I
feel bad for this person. You

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00:15:54.039 --> 00:15:58.440
have IBS or something. I think. I did my best to clean up

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00:15:58.440 --> 00:16:00.480
with paper towels I had in the
car. It was awful. I was

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00:16:00.559 --> 00:16:04.720
pregnant and it was awful. My
three year old was in the car and

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00:16:04.799 --> 00:16:10.480
kept saying, mommy stink. I
drove the remainder of the thirty five miles

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00:16:10.600 --> 00:16:15.320
home sitting in some shit and completely
grossed out. There's more stories, but

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I think you can Probably that's all
you can handle for the day. LOL.

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You're welcome. Love you guys.
You know we used to love you,

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00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:26.399
but not anymore or no, I
still love her. I still love

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00:16:26.440 --> 00:16:30.639
her. I just it is funny. I mean, some people really can't

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00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:33.039
handle stuff. I lived with a
roommate who had bad IBS, and I

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00:16:33.080 --> 00:16:38.799
also felt bad for her because she
dated someone who was really like, I

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00:16:38.840 --> 00:16:41.720
don't want to know that girl's poop
and fart and whatever. And it was

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00:16:41.720 --> 00:16:45.360
like she literally couldn't control anything.
And I was like, girl, I

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00:16:45.399 --> 00:16:49.000
could never date someone like that if
they couldn't handle like me having issues because

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00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:53.919
I have system issues and she had
major issues with IBS. So, and

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00:16:53.960 --> 00:16:57.799
it's one of those things where,
I mean, when you get the urgency,

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00:16:57.919 --> 00:17:02.360
it's just you know, Yeah,
I read something and I didn't click

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00:17:02.399 --> 00:17:03.880
on it because it didn't interest me. But it was on BuzzFeed, I

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00:17:03.880 --> 00:17:07.759
think yesterday, and I think it
was BuzzFeed. It said there is a

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00:17:07.920 --> 00:17:12.440
reason why when you go shopping you
got a poop? Have you ever noticed

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00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:15.759
this one when you go shopping?
No? Okay, I feel like I'm

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00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:19.759
not the norm though you can't ask
me because I have weird problems. Okay.

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And then one more from Sydney,
who is a regular staff writer.

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00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:29.960
She says, hello, Dave,
Jenny, and fellow Minnesota Goodbye listeners.

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00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:33.400
I haven't written for a while,
and when I randomly clicked on this clickbait

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00:17:33.480 --> 00:17:36.160
article today, I thought it'd be
interesting to hear your take on this list.

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00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:38.319
Personally, I did not find a
single thing on this list that I

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00:17:38.359 --> 00:17:45.119
currently refrigerate. Do you. Here
is a link to the article eleven foods

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00:17:45.279 --> 00:17:49.839
you should never refrigerate, but you
probably are anyway, Okay, here we

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00:17:49.880 --> 00:17:56.160
go. Bananas. I do not. I don't know why anybody would refrigerate

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00:17:56.160 --> 00:17:59.279
a banana, So it's saying that
you should be refrigerating any things. No,

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00:17:59.440 --> 00:18:04.079
eleven food you should never refrigerate,
but you probably are. Bananas.

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00:18:04.119 --> 00:18:07.680
No, I've got a bunch of
bananas sitting on my countertop. Would never

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00:18:07.960 --> 00:18:15.599
same basil. I refrigerate fresh basil, but not the powdered dried basil from

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00:18:15.599 --> 00:18:18.960
the spice rack. Same and also
the fresh basil and the produce is already

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00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:22.400
in kind of like a cooler ish
area. So that's why I think I

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00:18:22.440 --> 00:18:26.680
assumed you had to keep it refrigerated, is it, though? Be honest.

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00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:30.359
I bought basil over the weekend for
something I was making in Colorado,

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00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:34.039
and it was not. Oh,
refrigerated, Oh yeah, maybe not.

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00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:38.279
Okay. Bread some people swear by
keeping their bread in the freezer. We

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00:18:38.359 --> 00:18:41.559
do in the fridge. We do
not, do you, Yes, we

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00:18:41.640 --> 00:18:45.720
do. We freeze because we get
Costco bread and so we get like two

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00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:48.799
loaves at a time and I get
like this Keto bread that gets moldy super

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00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:53.279
quick. So we do usually keep
it frozen. Uh. Chocolate okay,

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00:18:53.319 --> 00:18:56.960
so like Hershey's chocolate. Don't need
to keep it in the fridge. I

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00:18:56.000 --> 00:19:00.480
wouldn't. I would never consider that. Cooking oils, No, we keep

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00:19:00.519 --> 00:19:02.519
them in the cupboard. Oh no, I would never put those in the

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00:19:02.519 --> 00:19:06.319
fridge. Garlic, I keep garlic
in the fridge. But it says you

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00:19:06.319 --> 00:19:08.200
don't need to keep down in the
fridge. On the counter. Yeah,

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00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:11.799
we put it in like a produce
bowl. Okay, honey, No,

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00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:17.119
we do not. Okay, here's
a good one. Onions. Do you

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00:19:17.240 --> 00:19:21.440
keep onions in the fridge? We
do when they're cut, once they're cut

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00:19:21.480 --> 00:19:23.880
open, yes, if we haven't
used the nope. Okay, we do.

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00:19:25.920 --> 00:19:30.359
Melons, so have you got like
a canalope or a water melon after

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00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:36.599
it's cut, we do, but
not before same peanut butter, No,

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00:19:36.599 --> 00:19:38.319
no, Nope, they've been make
it too stiff. I mean I've made

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00:19:38.359 --> 00:19:41.680
the mistake of having a little scoop
of it in the middle of the night

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00:19:41.720 --> 00:19:44.519
and putting it in the fridge on
accident, right right right, which was

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00:19:44.519 --> 00:19:48.519
like a Steve Lettart moved to tart
uh and potatoes. Do you keep your

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00:19:48.519 --> 00:19:52.079
potatoes in the fridge or the cupboard? Nope, those are in the well.

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00:19:52.119 --> 00:19:55.519
I keep it on once again.
I got a big produce bowl,

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00:19:55.920 --> 00:19:59.240
so those stay in the produce bowl
too. Where what does a produce bowl

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00:19:59.279 --> 00:20:02.519
look. It's like a cute fancy
ball you can get from Home Goods or

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00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:06.400
something in Tjmax. Where do you
keep it? Just in the corner of

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00:20:06.599 --> 00:20:10.839
the kitchen, one of the corners
of the kitchen. Okay, anyway,

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00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:15.440
random topic for you, cheers.
That is from Sydney and Sydney that is

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00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:18.759
a staff writer for sure, because
you didn't have to do that one.

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00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:22.160
You literally just gave us something to
talk about when we might not have had

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00:20:22.200 --> 00:20:25.119
something else talk about. Patrick,
I mean, write back to you and

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00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:29.440
I'm going to give you my Venmo
and whatever you want to send is great,

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00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:33.400
whether it's three dollars or ten dollars. Whatever, and I appreciate that,

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00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:37.400
so thank you. What a nice
contribution. Yeah to people who you

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00:20:37.640 --> 00:20:41.400
know are really going to appreciate that. So thank Patrick. And that is

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00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:47.960
it for the Minnesota Goodbye. Send
your emails to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com