Fair warning on the Minnesota Goodbye. Some of these I have looked through.
Some of these I have not looked through. So let's take a look and
see what we get. Are you ready for some adventures, Jenny, I
love an adventure unexplored territory here in the Minnesota Goodbye. Chris from Northfield.
Again, I always hear you guys say we're running out of time. Are
you only allowed to spend a certain amount of time on a certain topic and
have to move on? Or are you required to play so many commercials per
hour? Just curious? Keep kicking anus, Chris from Northfield, Thank you.
I'm gonna it is keep kicking anus. It did, keep keep kicking
anus. It's funny buried that line right there. Okay, keep let's move
on. When you're talking about the Minnesota Goodbye, A lot of the time
we are recording and then another project is like waiting, like we have a
phone call, we have an appointment where we have a zoom call and it's
coming up in like you know, we look at the clock and go,
oh, we got fifteen twenty minutes to record the Minnesota Goodbye, and we'll
do it before that phone call or before that zoom meeting or whatever. So
then we look at the clock and Jenny is usually good at giving me a
little wrap up signal and then we wrap it up. And I told Jenny,
and this works out really well. If you give me a wrap up
signal with ten seconds left, I panic. But if you give me a
wrap up signal with a minute left, I'm like, oh a minute,
yep. On the Morning Show, we do have to stick to a schedule
that gets us into commercials within a reasonable amount of time. They have this
commercial scheduled and it's not set in stone, but they like them to be
as close to that schedule time as possible. Next one, good morning,
best, he says, Mary Anne. You guys, you guys, you
guys. Guess what I got my sticker? Thank you see you at the
State Fair. That is mary Anne. I know Mary Anne because she came
up last year at the State Fair and she cracked me the f up because
she's like, Hi, I'm doing the depression of Drake. This is my
Drake impression. And for a listener, especially a woman, to come up
and do that just crack me up and surprised me so super funny. And
she has showing off her staff writer and Dave Ryan stickers. It looks like
you're in your car, which is interesting. Does she have it like plastered
like the sticker in her car? It's on her computer, it's on her
laptop. Okay, okay, cool, I love it. Thank you,
Maryanne Play. Maybe she's a sales rep and she's working in her car.
I bet she is, because she's had a big personality. Yeah, okay,
we're gonna skip on that one. Here we go. Random one that
I have not pre read. Hello, David Jenny. Listening to the show
for years. I just started listening to the Minnesota Goodbye though I'm all the
way in Ohio. Listening to your podcast last night before I went to sleep,
must have had an impression on me, because I had a dream with
both of you in it. Well, let's see what happened. Weird.
Since I've never met you, I've just heard your voices. When I started
writing this email, the dream was somewhat fresh on my mind, but now
I lost what happened. I hate when that happened. So sorry, because
I wanted to tell you about the odd happening in my dream, But like
I said, I can't remember anyway. I'd love a staff writer sticker if
I could get one. I have been wondering what dart Lick means, and
now I saw his description on an upcoming podcast that I haven't heard yet from
last year, So I'm looking forward to hearing the story on there, unless
I get surprised with the description hitting a newer podcast before then. Nonetheless,
dart Lick about the great work on your show and the podcast that is Andrew
in Ohio. Oh, Andrew, you are in for a surprise when you
find out what dart lick or maybe that's an idea. Also, did he
say he has no idea what we look like? Yep, and he had
a dream about us. That's super interesting And also coincidentally, I listened to
this one podcast and I know who the two people look like, and they
were in my dream last last night, really, and I don't remember,
of course what the dream was about either, but I remember like there ones
a DJ in New York and another one's a comedian, and I remember being
in New York and I think I was like on a podcast with them,
and that's all I can remember. So that's weird because I'm never dreamt about
like radio podcast people before doesn't it surprise you the things that pop up in
your dreams, and most of us are the same way. You remember a
little bit but not much. I have a recurring dream almost nightly. That's
not a bad dream, but I'm packing up to go home. So I'm
getting I've been at a boy scout camp or I've been somewhere and we're trying
to pack up, but my stuff is scattered everywhere and I can't get it
all together, and I got a plane to catch. And it's not a
horrible dream. It's just like I've got to get all this stuff packed up
because we're going home today. Yes, I've had the packing dream before i've
and so I know we've I think we've had like the dream expert on to
like describe this one. And so I'm trying to do. You want me
to tell you what I just googled as I'm looking this recurring dream up.
Yes, sure I have it too. So it says it could mean you're
you run out of time and cannot Nope, that's not what it means.
Never mind, this is some weird blogger who has not giving me like the
accurate information. You know what I mean. I'm going to put it on
there. Here's what I'm going to guess somebody listening to the show will interpret
their dream like I have a dream all the time. A lot of people
have that your teeth are falling out, like your teeth are kind of coming
out in crumbles or chunks or whatever. And I don't have that one often.
And that used to mean I think you're not in control of your life.
And I used to have that one quite often. I have the one
that is also very common, and that is where it's like the last day
of school, there's a big final coming up, you don't know, you
haven't been going to class yep, you don't know where your locker is,
you don't know your locker combination, and you're like, am I going to
graduate because I haven't been going to this class since like the first couple of
days, and blah blah blah. Do you ever have that one? I
have that one about college that it's my senior year and suddenly my second semester,
I didn't take enough credits and I'm probably not going to graduate on time.
And we did ask the dream expert about my specific dream, and she
said that it means in situations like that when it goes back to school,
it means that you feel you're undervalued or something. I might be misspeaking,
but it has something to do along those lines. So because I think a
lot of people have kind of those school dreams of you know, I'm like,
I don't know. That's my big one. I have that a lot
about college that I like, did not I'm not going to graduate on time.
I screwed something up. It means something because my dad told me that
he had that dream, like in the last decade of his life, and
he lived to be eighty eight years old and he hadn't been in high school
in a long time. I still had that dream. Top of the Morning,
Dave and Jenny. I've listened to every Minnesota Goodbye, but this is
my first time emailing. You asked about not getting to the end of the
podcast, and I am part of that club, I said, who listens
but don't listen to the whole thing. The Minnesota Goodbye push me to sleep
each night. Something about the laid back banner puts my busy mind at ease
and helps me drift off to sleep. I pop in my headphone, set
the sleep timer and the iHeart app fire at the minute, so to goodbye
and close my eyes. That is awesome. I love that you're using the
app that way and figured it out. Your jury duty discussion reminded me that
the three times I've been called for it, I sat on a trial each
time. Oh wow, interesting experience and worth it. I had a messy
case if you hicke it or homicide, but the people you share the box
with bond together and get through it. Although I'm firmly in Minnesota now,
credit due to my home state of Wisconsin for being super generous about feeding jurors.
Our baylif's bailiff let us order anything we wanted for takeout meals, including
dessert. In four days, I gained five pounds and sent someone to jail.
Final thought and an offer. I always wanted to pay for somebody's groceries
or for the person behind me in the dry through, but I forget or
I don't know how to ask. So Dave, setting aside the obvious that
you should be able to expense it, would you allow me to venmo use
some money for the next order of staff writers stickers. It would feel good
to do something nice for this community of listeners. You can use my name
Patrick, Absolutely, patch, yes if you want to, because it comes
out of my own pocket. Yeah, it does. I mean everything from
the morning show mugs, to the studio cameras, to the stickers to the
pens, They've all come out of my pocket. And I'm not complaining because
I like having staff writer stickers. These flags that you see on the microphone
that say the Dave Ryan Show, they came out of my own pocket because
I don't like to have a lesser than a radio show just because the station
doesn't want to spend the money. So yes, Patrick, I'm going to
write you back. I'm going to flag your email so I can write you
back in a minute and give you my VENMO. And you know what,
I hate to even take him up on that offer, But if you want
to do something nice and get people that you don't even know a staff writer
sticker, I love it. Next one, Brian says, Hello, David.
Oh wait, hold on, if you read this on the air,
don't say my name. Hold on, let me see if I want to
read it on the airm Okay, I'm gonna skip that one because I will
send her a staff writer sticker, but not send the email or not not
read the email, So okay, let's let's move on from that one.
Uh. This one says Dave, I remember you saying your dad was a
glass blower. On a recent trip to Riga, Latvia, I came across
these magnificent handles on a hotel door and entry door in the shape of a
glass blower. Thought of you and figured you might appreciate it. Even across
the globe, we can always find things that remind us as home, even
if indirectly. These are beautiful. They are because you can't see them.
I will just describe them to you. They're door handles, and they are
a male figure standing up and he's got basically it looks like an upside down
balloon on a string and he's blowing glass. Cool. What the significance is
of that, I have no idea, but they really are beautiful, and
it says wishing you and Jenny a wonderful day. Thank you for crum crystal.
Okay, not me, just googling where Latvia is. I had no
idea where is Latvia. It's it's next to Estonia, Lithuania, right next
to Russia. So it's on that border over there. Yeah, it's part
of I believe part of Europe then, obviously, but had no idea.
Crystal. I got to ask you, what are you doing in Latvia?
Can you live there? Or is it a great place? A little hidden
gem to vacation? Hannah writes in Hannah says, I got a question.
Why are cats such assholes? Oh? My gosh, yeah, I mean
seriously. I got a cat. His name is Palette, and he was
three weeks old when we found him. No mama, so I raised this
motherfucker from bottle age. I thought he'd be all cuddly and stuff, but
because of that wrong, he is so mean to me, just me.
I'm the only one that feeds him, so talk about literally biting the hand
that feeds you. He stays in the basement because one of my kids is
terrified of him, and my dog's chasing like crazy. He steals laundry out
of my laundry baskets and shreds it, destroys socks all the time. I
got to chase him around when he gets send it something. He sits in
the dryer when I'm trying to put clothes in. Then he gets mad at
me when I take him out, and he bites my ankles and calves.
Then when I go upstairs, he tries to bite my knuckles when I have
a basket, then scratches the back of my calves as I pass it to
go through the door. I would never put up with a dog biting me
constantly, So why do I put up with this cat? He's lucky,
our house is one hundred and fifty years old, and he's a good mouse
cat. And that I'm not too much of a sucker, or that I'm
too much of a sucker to ever get rid of an animal, because damn
it, why do I love him? Not gonna lie? I one hundred
percent prefer my dogs, though, and I'm not ashamed of that. Hannah,
you are a staff writer that is writing right there. I loved how
you gracefully worked in how you raise this motherfucker from bottle age. Why are
cat's assholes? I don't know. Why are the assholes? I don't know?
And I would say seventy five percent of the cats that I know that
my friends or family have are legitimate assholes. Only two are like the nice
cuddly cats and chill, But most of them are jerks. Like God,
I lived with my sister for a year, and her cat Rascal kept us
up every night or at the door because we'd shut our doors. Otherwise he'd
meet like and none. He'd want to get in the room and then he'd
come out. And it was a nightmare living with that cat and most other
ones. I know that Falon's cat Edith is a little bit of a bitch.
Roger. That's your enemy, your mortal enemy, and your household.
He's not that bad, he just I will give you an example. So
he won't sleep with me when Susan's gone. When Susan we sleep in separate
bedrooms we have for a while because Susan kicks and she snores and I snore.
So the cat always sleeps not only with Susan, but on Susan,
like it'll sleep between her legs or on her chest or on her back.
Uh huh. And when Susan's not there, the cat won't sleep with me.
I'll sleep in that bed because it's a better bed, but the cat
won't sleep with me. The cat will sleep downstairs on top of Josie's kennel.
Okay, so Josie's got a kennel and there's a cat bed on the
top of buddies. They're like bunk bed buddies. It is kind of cue.
But the cat does not like me. I mean, it doesn't dislike
me. We're just not close. Yeah, next one, I got a
funny poop story. Oh good, here we go. Night before deer hunting
started here in Wisconsin. Every year on that night, everybody in the hunting
crew and their spouses and kids all get together to share a meal and kick
off hunting season. One year, the crew decided to do pot luck instead
of meeting in a restaurant. One of the eldest cousins brought some homemade chili.
Yep, fast forward to five am the next morning. Every single person
who ate that chili had their stomach churning. Most of the hunters were already
and their deer stands when they started to feel the rumbles. So imagine a
bunch of big, burly men squatting from a tree stand or pooping out of
a tree. Most of them were not prepared with toilet paper either. We
left about it for a long time afterward, and they haven't done a lot.
They haven't done a pot luck since. Dang. I wonder what was
wrong with the chili. I don't know maybe was sitting out of the counter
too long or something. PS. I already got my sticker and it was
exciting to get an envelope with Dave's handwriting on it. So thank you.
I love that I do sit there and hand address all of those envelopes and
set it out. So and I think, how are we doing for time?
Jenny doing? We've got a little bit more time? Yeah, time,
Okay, sure we do. Okay. I love telling stories about my
emergency poos. Okay, here comes another one. Over the last few years,
I've struggled with urgency and liquid shit issues. For some reason, it
always seems to occur when I'm driving. Important note, I live in a
rural community where gas stations are not every half mile or so. My first
time shitting in the woods Jesus Christ, I live in a rural wait hold
on very small font. My fiance and I at the time were hunting in
a vast forest area, already miles away from the campground where there was a
porta potty. I had the urgency. My now husband pulled over, gave
me the emergency TP. We carrying the car, I took a walk into
the woods off the gravel road and shit my brains out under a pine tree.
I still say it was the most peaceful shit I've ever taken. Okay,
in the middle of the woods with fresh snowfall, under a pine tree
and the peacefulness of the forest. Lol. One time my husband and I
both pooped together, but not in the same spot where we could see each
other in the woods, or on another hunting trip, same forest. On
my birthday last year, I shit in the driver's seat of my car on
the side of the dry highway. I took my winter coat off, shit
on it, diarrhea and did my best to clean up. I'm gonna gag,
Jenny, Oh my god, I feel bad for this person. You
have IBS or something. I think. I did my best to clean up
with paper towels I had in the car. It was awful. I was
pregnant and it was awful. My three year old was in the car and
kept saying, mommy stink. I drove the remainder of the thirty five miles
home sitting in some shit and completely grossed out. There's more stories, but
I think you can Probably that's all you can handle for the day. LOL.
You're welcome. Love you guys. You know we used to love you,
but not anymore or no, I still love her. I still love
her. I just it is funny. I mean, some people really can't
handle stuff. I lived with a roommate who had bad IBS, and I
also felt bad for her because she dated someone who was really like, I
don't want to know that girl's poop and fart and whatever. And it was
like she literally couldn't control anything. And I was like, girl, I
could never date someone like that if they couldn't handle like me having issues because
I have system issues and she had major issues with IBS. So, and
it's one of those things where, I mean, when you get the urgency,
it's just you know, Yeah, I read something and I didn't click
on it because it didn't interest me. But it was on BuzzFeed, I
think yesterday, and I think it was BuzzFeed. It said there is a
reason why when you go shopping you got a poop? Have you ever noticed
this one when you go shopping? No? Okay, I feel like I'm
not the norm though you can't ask me because I have weird problems. Okay.
And then one more from Sydney, who is a regular staff writer.
She says, hello, Dave, Jenny, and fellow Minnesota Goodbye listeners.
I haven't written for a while, and when I randomly clicked on this clickbait
article today, I thought it'd be interesting to hear your take on this list.
Personally, I did not find a single thing on this list that I
currently refrigerate. Do you. Here is a link to the article eleven foods
you should never refrigerate, but you probably are anyway, Okay, here we
go. Bananas. I do not. I don't know why anybody would refrigerate
a banana, So it's saying that you should be refrigerating any things. No,
eleven food you should never refrigerate, but you probably are. Bananas.
No, I've got a bunch of bananas sitting on my countertop. Would never
same basil. I refrigerate fresh basil, but not the powdered dried basil from
the spice rack. Same and also the fresh basil and the produce is already
in kind of like a cooler ish area. So that's why I think I
assumed you had to keep it refrigerated, is it, though? Be honest.
I bought basil over the weekend for something I was making in Colorado,
and it was not. Oh, refrigerated, Oh yeah, maybe not.
Okay. Bread some people swear by keeping their bread in the freezer. We
do in the fridge. We do not, do you, Yes, we
do. We freeze because we get Costco bread and so we get like two
loaves at a time and I get like this Keto bread that gets moldy super
quick. So we do usually keep it frozen. Uh. Chocolate okay,
so like Hershey's chocolate. Don't need to keep it in the fridge. I
wouldn't. I would never consider that. Cooking oils, No, we keep
them in the cupboard. Oh no, I would never put those in the
fridge. Garlic, I keep garlic in the fridge. But it says you
don't need to keep down in the fridge. On the counter. Yeah,
we put it in like a produce bowl. Okay, honey, No,
we do not. Okay, here's a good one. Onions. Do you
keep onions in the fridge? We do when they're cut, once they're cut
open, yes, if we haven't used the nope. Okay, we do.
Melons, so have you got like a canalope or a water melon after
it's cut, we do, but not before same peanut butter, No,
no, Nope, they've been make it too stiff. I mean I've made
the mistake of having a little scoop of it in the middle of the night
and putting it in the fridge on accident, right right right, which was
like a Steve Lettart moved to tart uh and potatoes. Do you keep your
potatoes in the fridge or the cupboard? Nope, those are in the well.
I keep it on once again. I got a big produce bowl,
so those stay in the produce bowl too. Where what does a produce bowl
look. It's like a cute fancy ball you can get from Home Goods or
something in Tjmax. Where do you keep it? Just in the corner of
the kitchen, one of the corners of the kitchen. Okay, anyway,
random topic for you, cheers. That is from Sydney and Sydney that is
a staff writer for sure, because you didn't have to do that one.
You literally just gave us something to talk about when we might not have had
something else talk about. Patrick, I mean, write back to you and
I'm going to give you my Venmo and whatever you want to send is great,
whether it's three dollars or ten dollars. Whatever, and I appreciate that,
so thank you. What a nice contribution. Yeah to people who you
know are really going to appreciate that. So thank Patrick. And that is
it for the Minnesota Goodbye. Send your emails to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com