You're listening to kf AM sixty on demand KFI AM six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Wealsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Welsh Show. I
am here from seven to nine every Sunday talking about the most important thing in
every human's life, your relationships, your love life. You know, people
think, oh, she talks about dating, like somehow it's some light fun
entertainment. Now it's the reason why humans were put on earth reproduction. And
I really do believe that every single human behavior that we ever do is designed
to get us mates or maybe even expel amte or find a better mate or
hedgeoreproductive odds. The whole reason traditionally men earn money is to attract mates.
In fact, one of the reasons why so many young men are failing to
launch We're going to talk about that a little later in the show is because
they don't have to make money to get a woman anymore. They can go
to her well appointed condo, she'll pick them up in her tesla. Because
we're seeing a rise incessful women, and that naturally makes men less ambitious,
Like why do I have to I can get a woman. I don't need
to provide fancy dinners. I don't need to support her anymore. I am,
By the way, I'm not making a claim that we should go back
to something that existed for a short period of time, which is patriarchy.
The history of our species was always men competing for women's attention. That is
what men are supposed to do. But if you live in a modern urban
Western city, you can see that there's an oversupply of women, and women
are actually trying to compete for men, and that's where it becomes backwards from
an evolutionary standpoint. But I digress. You know how, I've always said
when till death threw us part was invented, death was pretty imminent and in
our very long life spans. Now even the most monogamous of people can expect
to two or even three long stint of monogamy. Show a certain power couple
has announced that they are also going to undivorce, have their cake and eat
it too, Kayla, Before I get to it, do you think it's
possible, producer, Kayla, for people to live in the same house after
they've had a long marriage and start dating other people? No, why would
you say, na Um, I just think it's just going to naturally cause
feelings of jealousy. I don't think that it's natural to see somebody that you
are once in love with, an intimate with being in love with and intimate
with someone else, doing what they used to do with you for someone else,
even if you don't care about that person, it's just gonna feeling.
Yeah, I wouldn't like it. Producer Christina, what do you think do
you think two people can after they've had this long stint? No way,
no, no way, dido what Kayla said? Your ego is going to
come out and just be a little ikey No, especially if only one gets
a hot day. There's a show on I believe Peacock called The Big d
and it's about divorce couples who live in houses and date other people and even
if they've been divorced and act like they don't care the second they're extarts.
I don't know how. Really, they don't do reality shows unless they know
there's going to be a train round. There's no such thing as a reality
show where everybody lives happily ever after. That would be so boring to watch.
Well. This week, former New York Mayor Bill Deblasio and his wife,
Charline McCrae, announced that they are separating after almost thirty years of marriage.
He is sixty two years old, she is sixty eight. They told
the New York Times that they're not currently planning on divorcing, and that they
intend to live together, at least for the time being. Most interesting to
me is that they say that they're both okay with each other seeing other people.
He might recall. Deblasio served as the mayor of New York City from
twenty fourteen to twenty twenty one. Some people are saying he's already exuding divorce
dead energy. He's even died here. They made a comment in the New
York Times article that was so creepy to me. He said something like,
hey, she said, can you put our phone numbers in the article?
And he said, should I go and get a picture taken at the gym?
Could you post that? Like they're using the interview with The New York
Times as their tender ad. They're gonna find dates pretty quickly that I'm not
mad at it. You know, this is one divorce, well, it's
not an undivorced whatever it is that I think many many people might be saddened
about because this couple was such a role model, right. They were an
interracial couple for thirty years, and on the campaign trail, she and their
interracial kids were out there saying, this is the new America, this is
who we are. You know, there's another thing about her. I did
not know she was a full on out lesbian when she met him. Really,
see, sexual orientation can be fluid a lifespan and thirty years. I
mean if she had girlfriends on the side, we would heard as politics.
Right. So I was reading like opinions from people around the web and whether
they think this is a good idea or not. A therapist in Northern California
by the name of Kurt Smith says it's usually the husbands who suggest these kinds
of arrangements, not the wives, and things tend to get a little bit
thorny when one partner starts dating and the other isn't. As I said,
they also many people talk about staying undivorced when they're still raising small kids.
I actually know a couple who did this. The dad moved down to the
apartment downstairs, not in the basement. It was like a hillside house.
Okay, so he was sort of down below in his efficiency apartment. She
was upstairs. They took turns or together, family dinners, raised the kids
dated separately, and it all worked out fine until the kid was grown,
and then they sold the house and moved their separate ways. So sometimes people
will do this, like you know what it is. People are trying to
find sexual novelty, but they also want to maintain their secure attachments. I
had lunch with a girlfriend this week who was saying, you know, I
love my husband, but not romantically, like we're just attached. And I'm
like, just attached, Like I think that's a good thing, right that
we look Julio and I my love, the love of my life, Julio,
Julio. I just love to say his name. I said all the
time, Julio, where are you? Julio, come here? Speak Spanish
to me. We have been we've been going different directions this summer because we're
dealing with our young adult kids and their travels and living arrangements, and we're
all over the place. So I had not seen him in more than a
week. And I got back to his bed last night, and I have
to say something. I have been feeling very sleepy. I slept long and
hard all day today, I felt kind of relaxed. I took a nap.
I'm like, why am I feeling so sleepy? And I realized,
when we are apart my attachment, anxiety turns into energy. I get a
million things done. I gotta do this. I go to like, I
gotta stay distracted and busy so I won't feel sad and missing him. And
then as soon as I'm with him, my neurochemistry, my whole body resets
and I just want to, like take a nap. And that's what a
healthy, secure attachment does. It's not like hot, hot, hot romantic
attachment. It's a feeling of calm, It's a feeling of peace. You
look perplexed, Producer, Kaylin No, because I'm curious because you before the
statement earlier about your friend who now says that she loves her husband but she's
not in love with him. Is that something that naturally happens over like a
long period of time, over a lifespan, when you're with somebody for a
long time. Yes, But later in the show, I want to talk
about great research from some of your favorite people, the gotments at the Marriage
Lab. They have ten things to do before you try divorce. Ten things
to try before you try divorce. We'll talk about that a little later in
the show. Yes, relationships get boring. Yes it is up to you
know. But when I used to come in in the summer when I was
a kid, and I'd say to my mom, I'm bored. I'm bored.
I'm bored. You know what my mom would say, If you're bored,
you're boring. Go out and be exciting. So we have to make
our own excitement. There is a difference between being attached and being attracted to
somebody, and it is possible to get that attraction back through working with a
couple's counsel or a sex therapist. You're just doing a few little things.
But like Kyla said, I want to remind everybody it's really dangerous to play
with fire. Do not mess with sexual jealousy. It is in your unconscious.
If you want a picture of what your unconscious looks like, picture an
iceberg with a tiny tip above the water. That is your consciousness. That's
what you're aware of. That's what you know, and then like ten times
the size under the surface waiting to erupt like a volcano. So I'm not
suggesting. I mean people try to find ways to have their cake and eat
it too. I'm not suggesting people try these open marriages. There is a
small percentage of people who can achieve it, and boy are they vocal online.
They're trying to make it seem like it's normal now and everybody's doing it.
No, it's a very small percentage. Didn't we have the researcher from
the Kinsey Institute on our show, Kayla, who has studied polyamorous couples.
Oh yeah, she said, very few have been able to last more than
one year. Yeah. Yeah, it's fascinating people exposed. I think people
do this. You know. Here's my take on what's happening with former mayor
Bill de Blasio and his not really a strange wife, Charley McCrae, the
undivorced wife. I think they're both really good politicians, and I think they're
putting a really excellent spin on this. But no matter what you say,
this is the end of their marriage, and this is how they're trying to
do it because they have to do it publicly in some way. All Right,
when we come back, I'm going to tell you a story of how
once upon a time even I was catfished by somebody online. Let's talk about
romance scams when we come back. You are listening to The Doctor Wendy Walsh
Show and KFI AM six forty We Live Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're
listening to kf I Am six forty on demand kaf I Am six forty.
I've talked to Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Talk to Wendy Walls
Show. What a fool beliefs, Kayla, did you really pick that song
right before I'm going to tell you a time that I was catfish? I
did not, That was all prettina. What a fool belief? I love
Michael McDonald. Do you remember I love him too? Do you remember the
movie The Tinder Swindler that last year or yeah, okay, about that guy
who managed to trick all these women into young women to clearing out their bank
accounts, and he would do it. He was such a sociopath that he
would fly them on private jets to dates and they didn't know that the last
five women were paying for the private jet. Right. It was so well
done, messed up. But the thing that made me so mad about it
is how attacked. These women were online saying they're so stupid, so stupid.
So I thought it would just start the ball rolling by telling you that
our brain when we start to get attracted to somebody, when we start to
fall in love, our brain becomes literally delusional. There's nothing we can do
about it. You see, Mother nature made it that way so that we
would overestimate the value of a mate, so that we would get together and
bond. If we spent all our time looking only at red flags, going
no, not for me, not for me, not for me, we
would never procreate. Right, So instead, the other thing happens, this
hazy glow of ah, they're perfect, right. Is it awful when you're
one of your girlfriends Kayla and Christina is in a new relationship and you have
to hear them talk about them all the time, and you're like, it's
not that great. Oh my god. Yeah, when my best friend met
her husband and get a word in edge by Joe Jo Jo Jo Jo Jo
Jo Jojo, all right, I gotta go by Yeah, it's natural.
This is natural. So when my kids were little, I think a lot
of you know, I was a single mom for eighteen years. When my
kids were little, they were lonely moments, and I would go on those
apps. I heard, by the way, that the most common user on
match dot com is a single mother around forty with two kids. Right,
you were lonely, lonely nights, got your glasses show today, the kids
are in bed. You got no money for a babysitter, so you'd go
on those apps and start swiping. Yeah. So one night there's this guy.
His name's Chris, He's super gorgeous. He's in Toronto. I'm Canadian,
I'm migo great. He gave up the phone number really fast, because
I'm a big believer, just get on the phone right away. And so
we started chatting on the phone in the evenings, and he said he acted
sheepish and said that his sister made the profile for him and all these women
are you know, hidden up on him and he didn't even know, and
bah blah, and we were talking, you know, we very quickly started
talking quite regularly, a couple of times a day, right within about two
weeks. And then one night, Thank goodness, my unconscious informs me so
well, and often does it during the week hours of the night while I'm
asleep, I had this dream that I was trapped in this hotel room with
a very ugly man with six hands who weighed like six hundred pounds, and
I could not get out, and I was running around and he was chasing
me and chasing me and chase me. It was a nightmare. It was
a terrible nightmare. So the next morning, I wake up shook, and
I go on and I start googling, and I find this guy's first and
last name is the name of a sports reporter at the Toronto Star. But
this isn't the business that he says. That's a newspaper that he says.
He bet so I call this sports report. I sent him an email.
It's a person. He's like, no, don't know what you're talking about.
Some of the same name or whatever. Anyway, Then when my daily
phone call comes from my paramoura, I tell him about this nightmare, and
he says one sentence that trips me off. He says, what's wrong?
Don't you trust me? The way he said it was so fake, so
creepy, so wrong. I hung up. I blocked before I blocked.
Of course, I'm a woman of words. I wrote the longest, craziest
text over diagnosing him. I was in psychology school at the time. I
think you have a psychological disorder. I mean I literally was just diagnosing him
and I let him go. So I tell you the story to assure you
that if anything similar has ever happened to you, you are normal. A
woman with a PhD and great insight and in therapy can be tricked. You
can be tricked too, whether you're a male or female, O matter what
your age. In fact, according to one survey in twenty twenty two alone,
more than seventy thousand Americans reported not just a catfish, a full on
romance scam, and reported losses of what I'm going to say. The number
I'm going to say is correct, you're not misshearing me. One point three
billion dollars. One point three billion dollars went out to pretend people huh okay.
So the most common victim is a woman aged forty five to seventy.
There was one study done by the Italians and they describe the average victim this
way, female middle age, higher levels of neuroticism. Is that me neurotic
tendencies to romance for romantic idealization like I believe in movie endings. I love
reading romance novels, sensation seeking that's me. We like touch, we like
cuddling in pulse of that's not me. And oh, susceptibility to addiction,
that's not me. But if you're any of those things, you are highly
vulnerable. So here's another new trend. These romance scammers are targeting older retired
Americans. Old people have been known to mortgage their homes, borrow large amounts
of money from their neighbors, empty out their retirement counts. There was one
I read about in the New York Times about, oh, I can't even
say it, a Holocaust survivor who was swindled out of his life savings of
nearly three million dollars. I know. Also, I do want to say
when I'm talking about old people being easily susceptible young people, if you're sitting
there all smugs saying I'm a digital native, Okay, I can tell when
it's a fake profile. I can tell you know where your most susceptible,
you, young people, to retail scams. Yeah, buying all those designers
sneakers online that never show up after you've given your money. Uh huh.
Retail scams and fake job off where you put in your social Security number on
the internet because you think the job is such a big deal and then they
have all your information. So this morning, my sweet Julio said, you've
got to read this article. The article is published in something called The Activist
magazine. It publishes apparently this is their slogan, one incredible true story every
month, and they specialize in long form narratives. I ate it up and
drank it in and savored it like you wouldn't believe. Kayla, We've got
to get this author on the show if you can reach out to him.
Here's the title of the article, The romance Scammer on My Sofa. A
writer's request to find the con artist in Nigeria who duped his mother. I
know Carlos Barragan br r agam. We gotta find him. Carlos response to
my email. Please Carlos, if you're listening, you'll have to respond.
Okay. So he goes to Nigeria. Okay, let's tell the story.
He lives in Spain. Well, he lives in New York, NAPA.
Three boys were raised in Madrid by a single mom who was fairly successful.
She owned like dental clinics or something, and what kids don't understand about single
parents as we're lonely. We're with them all the time, we're laughing,
we're playing games. We're lonely, okay, because it's not the same.
So when the three boys are in their early twenties and they're flying off in
different areas, she finds an online love and at first they think it's funny
and silly and whatever, until they start to suspect that something's up. I'll
explain when we come back. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show
on KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're
listening to kf I AM six forty on demand KIM six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. We're
talking about romance scams and a story came out today in the Atavist magazine about
a young man. He and his brothers discovered that their mother was seeing someone
online. It had been a number of months. They noticed her go from
kind of depressed to giddy and happy all the time, so they let it
go. The three young adult brothers, who were going different directions and their
lives, didn't pay much attention to it. This young writer ends up going
to Nigeria to find his mother's scammer because at a certain point, the sons
get concerned. They realized she's spending too much time texting with them. She's
talking about him all the time. She said, he's an American, he's
stationed abroad, he's in the military, and this and that, and they
just said he's a scammer. It was so hard for them to prove to
her that he was a scammer. They actually found a way, because you
know, they're young and in their twenties in the tech business whatever. They
found a way to find out what the IP address was and they found out
that it was in Laos. I said, they're right, Lagos, Lagos,
La Lagos, La most Nigeria. So he says to Mom, would
you feel better if I just went there and found him, the so called
Brian and find out why he did this to you? Because she was heartbroken
over this. Now, no one has been able to figure out how many
romance scammers are in Nigeria. It is a full on business. Some young
men are making as little as thirty and forty dollars a month working for very
large syndicates where there are houses packed with young men who smoke weed all day
long and play video games and talked to twenty and thirty and forty men and
women in America pretending to be lots of different profiles. They have a name
which is the Yahoo Boys based on the Yahoo email accounts. They're online fraudsters.
They bottom line, they pretend to be other people online to seduce foreigners.
The most interesting thing about this article he found a number of Yahoo Boys
who allowed him to infiltrate their world and he got to figure out how they
actually do what they do. First thing they do, folks, is they
start stealing all our pictures from Facebook and Instagram and whatever and start making fake
profiles. Now, these are to create what are called legacy profiles. Sometimes
they have a profile alive online for up to two years before they activate it
as a scamming profile because they want it to attract lots of friends and look
like it's been there for a long time. They also, because they work
in a syndicate, sit there with ten other people who have ten other fake
profiles and say you friend mine, all friend yours, So they create a
whole network of accounts. Right. Then when they think the profile is legitimate
enough, they start bombing social media. Have you guys ever gotten those dms
on Instagram that just say hi or hey, like nice profile pick? Or
hey I'm looking for a sugar baby? Yeah, where do I side?
It's too obvious. Sometimes they start quiet and little with a high yeah or
a nice profile pick, right, something like that. I mentioned. They
work in teams. They may have other people posing as their own business as.
Okay, so let's say they have a fake profile they say, oh,
I work for so and so law firm. So then the person checks
and says, oh, yeah, they're friends with that lawyer and that thing.
Because they have all kinds of people posing as business partners, lawyers,
family members, friends, acquaintanance because it strengthens the credibility of that profile.
Then they go really slowly to build intimacy. One of the scammers Yahoo boys
as they're called, said, there's no rhyme or reason. Some people it
takes three months before there you can get money out of them. Some people
a month, some people a week, some people two days. Right,
he said, you just know when they're ready, right, So it's not
just dating apps they mostly the number one place they find you is just on
your regular social media accounts, Facebook, Instagram. They just send you a
private message. But here's how they work. They pay really close attention to
what you share with them, and they don't miss a beat becoming your perfect
match. Look, whether you're romance, scammed online or not, everyone should
listen to this. This is what people do on dates. They just listen
to what you say and reflect back. Oh yeah, me too, Oh
yeah, I like that too. So whatever you're into, they're into.
If you're looking to settle down, they're ready too. But there's always one
huge red flag. They can't meet in real life. But there's always a
good reason or why they can't meet. They're either stationed abroad in the military,
or they're working on an oil rig, or they're taking care of aging
parents or children or whatever, and they can't come just yet. But you
are the love of their life and they can't believe they happen to meet you.
You know, the journalist Carlos Barragan who went over to Nigeria to look
for the guy who duped He never found him that duped his mother. When
he infiltrated he tried to get into the psychology of these guys, these hundreds
of thousands, and what he found out is that the employment rate among fifteen
to thirty four year olds in Nigeria is more than fifty percent, and the
average monthly income for those who are employed is the same as it was in
nineteen eighty. Many of them complain that the government's corrupt, they're taking all
the money. They also believe it's a kind of reparations for colonialism, for
slavery that they just say, they use this term they're just taking it from
the whites, and they say that's there, it's owed to them. They
have kind of a robin Hood mentality, right that I'll rob from the rich
to give to the poor. The most common reasons they do ask for money
when they finally do, is they have a sick relative who's because some hospital
bills. The big one now is they want to help you, help you
invest in crypto. They have a friend in crypto and they can help you.
And where they're posing to be an American somewhere right you don't know.
You're talking to somebody in Nigeria. They want you to wire money to buy
a plane ticket so they can come see you, they want you. They
want to send you a special gift, except there's an extra customs fee,
and if you could just wire them the money for the customs fee, they
could send you the gift. If they're a girl, they want you to
pay or posing to be a girl, they want you to pay for childcare
so you can come to see them. There is also a very very dark
side to romance scams besides stealing money, called sextortion. This is where they
ask for explicit photographs of you, and when you try to block them and
move off, they tell you that they are friends with all your family members
and they're going to post all those pictures online send them to everybody unless you
send them money. The other thing many people unknowingly become victims of is something
called a money mule. They say, I'm going to wire this money into
your account for this reason and that reason, because my friend needs it for
this as hospital, whatever, and you don't know it until you're called up
in federal court and going to jail because you're actually laundering illegal money. Okay,
we don't want to become victims of a romance scam, Dowe, nobody
does. I told you it's never your fault. Our brain when we feel
lonely. And remember a few weeks ago the Surgeon General said, the biggest
epidemic we have right now is loneliness. Your brain goes into I want to
bond. We are wired to bond, We are wired to fall in love.
It is never a character flaw. If you think you're in a romance
scam, you must tell somebody about it right away. It's not your fault.
When we come back. How to avoid a romance scam. There are
ways to find love online and make sure it's with a real person when we
come back. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on kf I
AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to
kf I AM sixty on demand k I AM six forty. You have Doctor
Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. I would
like to welcome my TikTok audience. If you would like to visually come into
the studio, log on to TikTok. The handle is at doctor Wendy Walsh
at Dr Wendy Walsh. In a few minutes, I'm going to be taking
your calls. I'm going to put the phone number out there, but first
I want to talk further about how all of us can avoid these romance scams.
As I mentioned, it's a one point three billion dollar industry. In
twenty twenty two, one point three billion dollars was extorted out of unsuspecting,
innocent people who fell in love. It is natural for your brain to have
feelings of delusion with love. Love is the best drug we have. We're
not thinking clearly. We are also wired to bond, so when this person
seems so perfect, it feels so good to us. Well. The number
one way to avoid a romance scammer is be very, very wary of somebody
who can't meet in the real world. I've always been a big proponent of
dating in your own zip code anyway, because having somebody who's geographically distant is
going to be hard in the long run. Setting yourself up for heartbreak,
setting yourself up for a long term relationship or a long distance relationship is not
the way to start a love relationship. Look close to home, and I
understand many people live in rural areas. There are fewer mates, so I
see how they want to reach out further. But if somebody is too far
away and they can't get together for whatever reason, then there's a good chance
that they're about to scam you in some way. Also look for emails with
awkward writing and poorly constructed sentences and bad grammar. Now this isn't only because
many of romance scammers have English as a second language. When the reporter I
talked about earlier went to Nigeria and embedded himself with these so called Yahoo boys
in Nigeria, one of them said, I speak and write perfect in The
problem is I'm emailing twenty people at once, So the typos is that he's
typing fast and he's doing a lot. You know, it's really important that
you understand that the reason why they seem so perfect to you is because they
are just mirroring back to you what you've told them. Some of the romance
scammers disclosed that they were shocked at how much personal information people give up online
to a total stranger. Honestly, don't do it. Wait till you meet
them in real life at least or at least on the telephone. But don't
sit there typing away. As you know. I mentioned in this article that
the journalist went over to Nigeria searching for the man who had duped his own
mother, and when he was meeting with some of the guys, they said,
I promise you there are things your mother told her scammer that she never
even told you that there are such private things. And so don't do that
because they'll just reflect back your needs, wants and desires because they're knowing how
to read you. So ask more questions, don't tell too much. Here's
a simple thing. Take that image that they've made of with their fake profile
and anybody you're talking to online and put it in a Google image search.
Is it that hard? Put it in a Google image search? Okay,
I have to tell you I took a picture of me. I mean,
I did a screenshot of me from one of my Facebook pages and I put
it in a Google search today. Well, I was quite disturbed to see
what I saw. Well, first of all, way more pictures of me
that I knew even exists. I didn't even know existed at different times of
my life, at different events, a lot of Getty images. I'm like,
oh, I don't remember that I was at that party and there I
was, right, But apparently I'm big on wiki feats. I don't know
what that is, but there were lots of close ups on my feet,
like how does that happen? I know, and a few people with my
picture or sorry, I'm sorry with my name using a different picture. So
it was just it was weird and might picture a different name, so it's
yeah, be careful, just put it in there. See what you find
out. Here's another thing romance scammers do. They often want you to move
to some other They want to move you from the platform they find you.
So if they find you on a dating app, if they find you on
an Instagram, if they find you on TikTok, if they find you on
YouTube, they want to get you off there and get you into some private
chat that's less traceable. So they want to get you onto WhatsApp or telegram
very quickly. So if anybody's asking you to move off the messaging, because
you know, if it's a dating app, you go complain about it.
You can report them. They can get booted off, right. But if
they're scamming twenty different women, they get them over to what's app or telegram
and so then there's nothing you can do. You have nobody overseeing things,
so do not move to another platform. One of the things they do is
in order to target you, they first benignly befriend a lot of people in
your circle, so that when they say hi in a private message, you
go who do they know? And then you will see six people colleagues,
you know, neighbors, family members that they know, and you'll just start
chatting with them. No, no, no, no, no, don't
do that. Call that person like, remember that it's a telephone. You
pick it up, your dollar number. You go, Hi, I just
noticed this guy said hi to me on an instant message, and he's a
friend of yours. Do you actually know him? And they'll go no,
I thought you knew him because I saw you were friends with them. Okay,
that's how you figure it out. Check in the real world. And
also when you're going down the rabbit's hole of falling into love's delusion and being
attracted to this person you've never met in the real world. Please tell people
about it. Don't make it your little secret. This is very dangerous.
Tell your friends and family and if they are concerned, pay attention. You
are not thinking clearly and it is not your fault. Do I need to
say this, don't send any money for any reason, for any purpose.
You know, the most common way that romance scammers receive money gift cards,
little Amazon gift cards and stuff. Right, don't send money. At the
very end of the article where the guy went to Nigeria embedded himself with these
romance scammers, he said, can you give me some advice from my mother
or any other people that might be romance scammed? And they said, advice
number one, try to video chat right away, video chat how novel,
FaceTime zoom, see a real person. And also if you find out that
you've been romance scammed, you can report it to the FTC. The website
is Report Fraud dot FTC dot gov and you can learn more at FTC dot
gov slash romance scams. A twenty fifteen study looked at the psychological impact of
online dating scams, and it found that most victims suffered mental health problems afterwards,
depression, anxiety, shame, and that the psychological effects were much more
powerful than the financial losses. This is very very serious, all right.
When we come back, I am going to be taking your calls for my
drive by Makeshift relationship Advice. The number is one eight hundred five two zero
one KFI. That's one eight hundred five two zero one five three four.
You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Wells Show on kf I AM six forty.
We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app kf I AM six forty on demand