Hi, everybody, Welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. Thank you for tuning
in on Spotify, on iHeart, on Apple, on YouTube, anywhere that
you tune in spreaker, we appreciate it. Do. Thank you so much
for listening. I'm Laura Kane and that handsome sounding voice. Oh yes,
made for radio voice. That's right. Thank you, Thank you home of
the never have a Talent Show show. No, okay, so here's the
deal anyway, thank you for listening and watching. You So, before we
started this episode, I launched a question at these guys and it wasn't so
much of a question. It was a question. But now now it's now
it's a demand. Now it's a demand question. No, it was always
this is always something we were going to do. It's only something you wanted
to do. It is something I want to do and you guys have to
do it too, necessarily. Yes, you do. It's Laura. I
know the show is called Laura Kane after so I can't read that from here,
so that sign has no effect on I know. I know I want
us to have in the next next week we have a guest. Okay,
yes, but the week after starting in February, that's well, start off
February. That way, we're going to have a Laura Kane After Dark Talent
show. Here's my idea, we do something different like anything else. No,
I agree with Brian. No, you guys, how would do the
Laura Kane after Dark Talent Show where Laura Kane provides the talent? Yeah?
I think that's a great idea. Funny thing is none, Well, you
do have talent, and you have talent, I can bring here. Well
do you have like a small keyboard? No, I'll bring my computer and
you guys can watch me edit edit real good, Okay, I don't have
Do you have a piano? Wow, that's a little bit of a problem.
Then, well what about that violin? Can't you break that thing out?
I can't really play violin anymore. Well, it doesn't have to be
like that's the that's the funny part about it, Like, we don't have
any talent, so whatever we do is gonna be funny and horrifying. Well
I actually have talent. Well, then all stuff I can show. I
know me too. We're thinking of different things, but I know same wavelength.
I guess, oh are non tangible? His are just inappropriate? Yeah,
minor inappropriate. We are doing it, so put your he's going to
bring just five star reviews from dozens of satisfied customers. They'll be like,
this is evidence of my talent. No, you guys are gonna I will
find maybe you can write it like a poem, or right, like a
write a short story and read it to us. Or oh god, that
sounds like so much fun. Yeah, that sounds so entertaining to our audience.
What we call I would call it a show and tell, so it
doesn't have to involve actual talent. No, I think it's funnier if it's
a talent show, because yours is not a talent. Yes, it's gonna
be a talent because I'm I'm learning it and it's gonna take talent. The
Walmart kit you bought is not a talent. Oh god, yeah, buy
it at Walmart. Okay, I'm not going to see ross for the dollar
store. Don't tell anybody what my talent. Guys cheap stuff off the shelves
are like super random. Don't talent. That's ross. No, I didn't
get it ross anyway. Don't say what it is. Don't say what it
is because I'm going to learn I haven't started learning it, but I'm going
to. And in two weeks we're having a talent show, so figure it
out. My talent is being really quiet. It's an entire mind too,
is being like sitting so still and being so quiet. That is, not
sit in that chair for the entire hour, and I won't move a muscle
and I won't make a sound. I'll become invisible. That's my skill.
Do you think you could be a mannequin for an entire show and not move
or well, you have to blink, so could you stand with your eyes
closed? Oh my god, Laura, You're making this conversation so awful.
I'm practicing right now at being a mannequin. You guys would, damn it.
I'm going to dress up as Spider Man, and my talent will be
being Spider Man, not very I won't do very good, addicts. I
don't have his abilities. Oh, I know something I could do. Figure
it out, you guys can figure it out. I know something I could
do. What I did it on one of our very early shows. You
played the skin flu at one of your early shows. No, we can't
do that again. That No? Well, no, I can throw up
on command Oh, that's a skill. You have a bucket, I'll bring
one. It's from Laura, Brian. That was a great it's great.
You know better than to even say that. I don't know better than Jack
Ship. You don't know ship Jack. You know better than to bring up
I don't know about anything. I don't know better at all. Ryan,
that was a great idea anything. I am so good at throwing up.
So starting in February, we're going to start off the month with a talent
show. It's going to be great. Well, gonna start off with a
bang talent in quotations. Oh, I'm gonna bug you guys every day,
every day via text or very good ignoring you so I know he doesn't I
text him, he'll text me back like twelve hours later. Like, okay,
she text me on the weekend. I don't work during the weekend.
Oh I'm sorry. Apology accepted. Anyways, are we not friends? You
are texting me now about friend things. You're checking me out work things.
Oh my god, friend, Oh my god, I hey, friend,
can you do some work for me as a friend? Friend? I am
wait, I'm sorry. I didn't even think about it. I didn't speak
about it. I see her actually on call twenty fourth. Am I my
god? Am I my god? You know what if she ever, if
she ever text me with the work question, I'm gonna not answer you till
much. That's because we don't we know you don't do any work. Let
me let me ask you. Laura is like I text her on the weekend,
he doesn't respond till Monday. Isn't he on call? No, I'm
not, Laura. There's your Oh my god that I just want to say.
I see your texts, and if they were important, I would respond,
But most of them are not important, so I'd let them wait until
I work in my work mode again. And I know not to text you
before eight thirty because he wakes up at eight thirty. Text me to be
at five thirty in the morning. The other day, you can text me,
I just won't respond. Not gonna wake me up when I have to
wake up early and cover traffic early in the morning. I always text you.
She does, just because I'm up. She does. You can text
me, but you will not get a response. Well will it wake you
up? No? But I might make you wait longer at a spite for
even trying. I'm sure you would almost full time jobs. Laura, it
is really getting my creative juices flowing for the talent show. Oh, for
a lot of things. Okay, I'm scared. Sorry, you have juices
flowing. I know, I'm frightened. All right, Paul, right there
first in the bath. Why does it always lead into our sponsors something about
going to the bathroom, and then we have to lead into sponsor. I
didn't I had to go to the bath I know, But but did he
did? Hey, I'm not the one with the juices flowing. I know
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Go to the glamfam dot com product done. Okay, So now my host
chat. I have a question for you guys, because I and then I'll
tell you something about my kids. Is there are there numbers that you see
all the time, Like, for example, do you always look at the
clock and it's one, two, three, four or do you always look
at the clock and it's eleven eleven or uh four four four or two two
two or something like that. No, Okay, my daughter has two to
two tattooed on her her ribcage because that's her angel numbers. These are angel
numbers. These are signs from the universe. So if you guys are seeing
these things repeatedly, it means something. Okay, So two to two means
good fortune and finances, relationships, and career, as well as a reminder
to work towards your soul's purpose. The number is often associated with the moon
and receiving multiple sources of income. For singles, it's considered as a sign
that true love is coming or that a soulmate is near. Evan has a
boyfriend now she does, yes, and he is so cute. He's so
cute and he treats her so well. So anyway, and then Charlie and
his girlfriend, both of them have four four four tattooed on their leg.
That's their angel number, and that means it conveys a powerful message of love,
support, and guidance from your angels. It serves as a reminder that
you are on the right path and that your angels are by your side,
offering their unwavering support. Now wait, I thought angel numbers were like by
birth date or something. No, they're numbers, repetitive numbers that you see
all the time. Like for me, oh my god, thirty three on
the phone. That's two threes. That's one away from three threes. I'm
gonna pick number. I'm gonna pick a number. Four. You're the angel
number of sixty sixty six. But no, that's actually an angel number two.
But here's mine. So it's either I have two, it's either eleven
eleven. I always make a wish the whole entire minute. I wish and
I pray for people when it's eleven eleven. Okay, wait, is that
your angel number or is that just a thing lots of people do. That's
the thing. That's the thing lots of people do. My angel number is
eleven forty four. Now wait, now listen in CHP code, eleven forty
four means fatality. It's nice, I know. But instead of thinking like
when I see that number, instead of thinking about that, I think about
my dad, like, oh my dad has passed on, and oh maybe
my dad's watching over me. So I've kind of turned it around and make
it a good number. But it's actually an angel number and this is what
it means. Wait, eleven forty four. I see eleven forty four all
the time? Okay? Eleven forty four angel number means that if you keep
a positive attitude, focus on your goals, and let love in, you'll
be granted all the abundance and prosperity you need to thrive. This is a
sign from your guardian angel is that even if you have been through a tough
time, the universe is set to shine upon you. Wow, that should
be a talent. Lovely, what if that is going to be my talent?
What if I'm going to say angel numbers? No singing? Oh God?
So do you have something? Do you have like? Do you see
sevens all the time? I see sevens? Yeah? The angel number seven
seven seven is linked to self discovery and personal growth. Unlike numbers like two
to two, which focus more on relationships, seven seven seven urges you to
take time for yourself and embrace solitude. It encourages you to tune out distractions
and contemplate your direction in life. Wait, which one is that? One?
Seven? Yes? Maybe that's mine? To distractions because I try to
I block lores texts all the time because they're distracting. And I noticed that
while I was reading this, you looked at your watch sown and you yawned,
Yes, you did. I hit it, though, so and eleven
eleven if just in case you wanted to know what that meant. Probably not,
but I don't care. Is an alert from the angelic energies that you
are supported by forces you cannot see. You can sink into relief, celerate,
and get excited when you see eleven eleven. It gives you confirmation that
everything's on schedule and divinely guided in your rold at this time. So the
universe tries to send you messages by what's in different ways and numbers, that's
just what they're called. I know. I've just discovered this as well,
these angel numbers. But I discovered them. I don't know, but it's
all over the internet. You just, oh my god, really it must
be true. Then let me look up six sixty six. It's the mark
of the beast action. No, it has. It has a good,
good connotation to it too. I think it's pretty universally a bad one.
Let's see sixty sixty six angel number. Okay. In numerology, spiritual growth
and enlightenment, it suggests that you need to be open to new experiences and
opportunities. Talent show. That's actually not my angel number though, that's just
the random numbers I told you so that you would go away. But then
you're like, no, that's real, perfect, I'll use it. That
will help you grow and evolve spiritually overall. If you keep seeing six sixty
six, it's a sign that you need to find balance in your life.
Fine, God, I genuinely don't see a recurring set numbers though. Well,
now I bet you will, and you'll be like maybe, but then
they'll be meaningless because I'll be looking for them. It's just my brain picking
up patterns. Okay. See that's how it works anyway. See, I
like to believe in something bigger than myself. No, you like to believe
in everything bigger than yourself. Are you calling me gullible? Yes, I
would understand it if it was one thing. You're like, well, if
I use my angel numbers in accordance with my taro and numerology, and I
blend that with a little bit of positive manifestation, and I play on YouTube
twelve hours a night. I'm gonna get rich. They don't. I don't
know if they really blend wealthy. Maybe they're canceling out. Maybe that's the
problem with those things together. You have too many and then now they're canceling
out. So that's why you're still here. I like it here. I
like it here, and you wouldn't be doing the manifestation so much. Well,
there's I think even a billionaire has something he wants to manifest or she
wants to manifest. Yeah, money, and they did it not through not
through listening to money the word money over and over that at night. But
whatever. Okay, that's my host chat Angel Numbers. If you see him,
I think you should look him up because they have significance allegedly. Well,
anyway, Eric, what's your host chat mister? Well? Nothing,
what you don't have anything to talk about? I actually do what? So
remember last week I told you that I was going to launch my Yes,
yes, well I'm doing it, well talk about it. Yes, So
it's going to go live on Instagram next week and then it's I got approved
by Etsy to sell. Okay, first of all, what what's your company
called? Larkin Earl Larkin Earl. Huh why so it's my dad's middle name.
And then it's uh, it's going to be nature photography. So there's
I'll put everything up on the wow so you they people can buy your prints
of your photos that they can and then I'm working with a framer if you
want it framed. Who. Yeah, So it's super exciting. That's really
exciting. I'm actually uh, well there's more coming, but yeah, it's
gonna be really cool. Great, And to take away from the podcast,
be so fun because Laura doesn't already ask enough of the people. Because I
want you to do a talent show. And I text you one time on
a Saturday. One time. You text me every Saturday, Mommy and Daddy.
I hate it when you. Let's pull out the text, Laura Summer.
No, it was something about it was something about, oh I sent
you pictures of new streaming cameras. You sent him new streaming. Oh I
thought you said I sent him nude. And I'm like, what, Oh
my god, oh what it was I listening to horrible anyways? All right,
yes, ma'am, I got to find out where I put the game
that we're gonna play. You just had it. No, you weren't texting
me and you were spending that time organizing. Isn't it right here? No?
This is not. This is like the end part of it. Maybe
it's up there. We could jump up and see if it's over there.
Yes, thank you. In the meantime, I do have some random news
if you want to know some that the world's first trillionaire is going to be
coming in the next ten years. Sure that makes sense. Uh, I
don't know. I don't know. What did I do with it? What
is going on? Well, I would have you go upstairs, but I
don't want to wait. What is it? It's their scenarios? Is it
on a paper? Yes, paper that looks like this. But I had
it all like you. Sure it's not that one. No, it's not
because I had it all start and everything. It's not those ones up there.
It's not up there, Eric, I know I just had it.
Oh there it is Jesus Christ panicking. Oh my god. I had the
biggest phone freak out, the biggest Oh I wish you would lose it every
once in a while, Oh my god. And it was plugged into my
car and I thought I was gonna have to I almost I got off the
freeway to go turn back to where I was. I'm not going to tell
you where it was Saturday night? Why at the casino? Oh my god,
Oh my god, what did Natalie tell you? Oh my god,
Natalie, if you're watching, you know it's fine. Obviously, clearly I'm
not a big believer in tarot, but Laura is. And so Laura even
gets specifically from the Tarot watch out for addiction. She goes good advice.
Anyways, I'm gonna go casino this weekend. They won't want to come.
Oh I was up four hundred dollars and then I came home minus forty,
so I lost forty bucks. I only ever lose one hundred. I will
never lose more than one hundred. So you made three hundred. Now,
yes, I've made I know I made four hundred, and I played it,
played it played In twenty years from now, we're gonna Laura is gonna
be a hardcore gambling addict and we'll have to do an intervention and she'll be
like, Buddy, I need to know. I've We're rambling for twenty years.
If I was addicted, I think i'd know. Now I'm worried about
us living together in our old age, because she'll never be there. She'll
always be at the casino. Yeah, well social security check just in the
quarters ear slots. Oh yeah, Oh gosh. I saw some lady and
she was like, not like when I play the slots, I have fun,
like I like seeing all the fun like graphics and when you hit they
make big sounds. This lady was just like really mad like and she was
hitting it like this. Yeah. They'll be there for like twelve hours at
a time, too super fast. I'm like, wait till they like settle.
Yeah, like she's lady, what don't be so mad? Okay?
Hold what your price? Here's a paper for you and a pen. Here's
a pad of paper for you and a pen. Okay, docket, golden
tops whichever? You want? To give this to you for free? Huh?
I don't know. I had like a huge, big, like Costco
size box of them. Okay, So I'm going to give you a scenario,
and I'm gonna you guys write down what it would take for you to
do this certain thing. How much money are show the camera and then show
I'll and then we each have to guess what we think. Ah, So
should we write a big yeah. I just write a big yeah. Okay,
So here's the first scenario. What's your what's your price to tell five
couples in the maternity ward that their baby is ugly? What your yeah?
What's the lowest you do it for? Okay? What do you? Okay?
Brian, I think that you would do it for five hundred dollars Jesus,
Eric, do I show it. I think you do it for like
one hundred thousand. I do it for fifty. You do it for fifty.
I do it for five hundred thousands. I hate it, so I
do it for ten thousands. You would do for ten thousand. Okay.
Realistically, imagine if someone came up to you and said, we're okaying ten
grand. All you gotta do is go tell ten five people who won't care
what you think, and they're not going to know who you are, and
they won't remember you. Really, they'll you'll just be an anecdote for ten
grand. All gotta do is walk up and say your baby's ugly and walk
away. Oh I for ten grand? I mean, I know I'm willing
to do it for you, mother. I can't. There's just no way.
I know. It sucks it's a dick move, but for ten grands.
Like, I'm gonna feel bad about it, but not that bad.
I don't think I'm ruining anyone's life, all right, What about this one?
What is your price to post a picture of your poop on Instagram?
Oh? Oh, that one's worse, okay, and that's forever. I'm
okay, okay. I think I'll start with Eric. I think Eric would
do it for one hundred and fifty thousand. He's gonna say like eight hundred
thousand. He's just like two million, one hundred million. Would never do
that. And then Brian, I think that you would do it for two
hundred and fifty thousand. Twenty thousand. Oh, you two are disgusted,
really really, hundred and fifty thousands unrealistic. You do it for way cheaper
if I had the money in hand right now, you do it for like
a tenth of that price. No way, you know what, one hundred
percent? No way? Because we post only person some money right there.
Yeah, I'm the only person being honest, and probably I do as low
as like eight, but twenty grand I'll do it. I'm being honest.
You guys are being honest. Okay, what's your price? Hold the hand
of a stranger sitting next to you at the movie theater, the entire movie?
Oh oh wait, well, I mean as long as it'll let me
realistically, right, as long as they'll let you. Okay, Brian,
I think you would do it for five hundred bucks. No, you would
do her two fifty five grand? Five grand, because the thing five hundred
bucks is not even that much money, like it is, but it's not
really Maybe I'd probably do it for two grand. I'll be honest, two
and a half grand. I'd probably do that because it's not that big a
deal, but also it's gonna be enough money to make it worth my time.
Eric, you probably will do it for a thousand. Well, no,
I have I have a question. Are we at like the AMC or
are we at like the adult depot Parkway Plaza? We are at the AMC.
Oh ten thousand, okay, I said one hundred dollar? God?
Wow? She pour? Wow? You are? What is your price?
Swallow a dime? Well, it'll come out in the wash, is the
Here's my question? Is the dime clean? Like it's not something that you
just picked up out of it. We'll pretend that the dime has been sanitized.
Okay, okay, let's just show our answers five grand and that's mostly
the cover medical expenses in case I start to choke and die. Fifty thousand,
fifty Come on, swallowing a dime, it's not that big a deal.
If they were going to cover god, Laura's is probably like five dollars.
Dollars. Laura would do it for ten cents. Oh my god,
you do it if she could keep the dime. Yeah, she'd be like,
I made ten cents off of this deal in three weeks. In the
week and a half, I'm gonna have tents. Oh my god. It's
account totally per butthole is like a savings account, no interest. Yeah.
You know what you should start doing is just start swallowing quarters now. Oh
my gosh, she'll be like a pez dispenser one day when you're a hundred,
you'll just explode full quarters, rolls and rolls of quarters. Oh my
god. You know what, That's something I can look forward to when we
live together. I'll just tie her to a tree and then hit her with
a stick. Okay, what why is your price to participate in a polar
bear plunge? You know what that is, right? Yeah? Oh,
I mean realistically, realistically? How much would you do it for? Twenty
five thousand? I'm lying, really I said five hundred, but I probably
do it for two to fifty. Really, I would do it for fifteen
hundred. It's not that bad. It's not that bad being cold though.
I will do it for me though. But don't you have to like actually
swim or do you just go in? Oh? You just go you run
in, you dunk and you run out. Oh, I'm changing my night.
Okay, so I'm changing. I don't think it's more anything more than
ten. I thought it was swimming. No, you just have to run.
You have to, but you have to run deep enough to dunk and
then you come out five thousand. I do it for five hundred bucks.
I would too. I would too, and I could. Honestly, I
could be talked down a three hundred probably, I probably me, although I
could also see myself when I get there up in into one thousand. Okay,
what's your price? Be confined to your bedroom for one month? One
month, one full month? You are fine? Do I have to work?
Uh? No? Would I still get paid? Yes? Oh god,
I'll do that for free. No, you can't leave. You cannot
leave your room. I'm still getting paid to not work. I mean,
can we go to the if the bathrooms attached our bedroom? Well yes,
obviously obviously, but you can't, Like you can't go down to the kitchen.
I mean things would have to be brought up to you. You cannot
leave your room one month. See no way man one. Yeah, I'm
doing ten grand because it's worth it's a month of my time, but I'm
giving up so I feel like it's Oh my god, I would do it
for a dollar. Are you kidding? You have the most social outings of
the all of us combined. Yes, but that's why. That's why I
see. Well, if you have a social outing planned with Eric, just
know that he'd rather be locked in his room for dinner. Oh my god,
great, great, Just all the future, all your future top five,
all of them just got put in the bunk, like in the trash
can. Oh my god, if I could just have a month where I
could just watch Netflix and epop or to not do anything. Okay, this
one's kind of a serious one. Okay, what's your price to take five
years off your life? Oh? Oh, here's the thing. I wouldn't
mind now, but I really regret it later. I know I would regret
it, but maybe not if at this price. Okay, I think that
we are probably all in the millions. I almost did five hundred thousand.
No, because you can turn five hundred thousand to a lot of money.
I i'd said two million, because it's gotta be enough money that I can
make it worthwhile to lose those five years exactly, and make it worthwhile to
you, Like, there are people that are gonna lose you. They have
to change, they have to change the quality. It's gotta be enough money
to change my current quality of life in the long term. I think I
can do that two million. You're so dumb it for twelve million, mine's
nine ninety nine trillion. You only have like five years left. I know,
yeah, I know. How much would it be? The keel over?
Like, yeah, I've got one foot on a banana peel and one
foot in the grave. So okay, what's your price to live in a
house with twenty cats for one year? Oh? Do I have to clean
up the little box? You take care of the cats? You live in
the house with twenty cats. My girlfriend would do it for free, but
one billion dollars a year for free, a year to work? No,
let's pretend you don't have to work? Am I getting paid still though?
No? This is your payment, This would be your payment. No,
I would. Okay, you know what I'd do it for this? Seven
hundred and fifty thousand thousand? Hell no, yeah I would. I'd like
cats. I don't like cats that much, but five one thousand for just
a you know, a year of just cleaning up litter boxes and then locking
them all in one room and watching Netflix for the rest of the day.
All right, what's your price to let a bird poop in your mouth?
Oh? What type of bird? Hell? No seagull? Ah? Oh
yeah, that's no. Let's be realistic, realistic here, come on,
no way. Yeah. Do you know how many I'm trying to do?
You know how much bacteria is in that? Okay, I put fifty,
but I'm actually leaning towards like seventy five kh But realistically I do it for
fifty. I would. I was gonna put two thousand. Oh my god,
have you old seagull poop? Do you have? It's so gross.
There is so much bacteria I thought of that makes me want to vomit like
actually, like I'm geting a little bit of a vola. Stop it,
stop it? Fifty okay, okay, all right, what is your price
to suffer from chronic diarrhea for one month? Wait? You do it for
nothing? I would do it for nothing. That would be better than his
current exist God, wait, he already does chronic? How many hours am
I spending on the toilet per day? You know what? I don't know?
Whatever, it doesn't there's no specifics, zero hours. I don't.
I'm gonna say, like, how bad does this chronic diarrhea? Chronic?
Like it's is it just that every time twenty five thousand, every time we
would normally go to the bathroom, it's gonna be diarrhea, yes, Or
that you have to stop what you're doing and like run to the bathroom for
a month, yes, because that's what diarrhea is. I'm gonna say twenty
five thousand, I'm gonna say, like, yeah, fifteen to twenty put
fifteen, I'm doing one hundred, one hundred dollars one hundred thousand. Oh
why is that? I don't know. That's the one that bothers you the
most. Yeah, seriously, okay, all right, this is interesting and
it involves me. Okay, let an ice cube melt in my belly button
and you have to drink the water out of your belly button? Out of
my belly? Is there any lint in there? How? M what's your
price? Five dollars? This is just one of those weird like bar shots
they do off of chicks bodies. I do I do it for five bucks.
You do it for five dollars? I mean, realistically, like two
There's nothing wrong, There's there's nothing wrong with your belly button. There's nothing
wrong with my belly button. I think I've eaten worse things. Actually,
that would be really Actually, I understand that. I understand your price.
It's gotta be worth my time. It's got to be even worth my time
at seventy five bucks. Okay, what's your price? And this is for
me and you, Brian, because it's like to give a sponge bath to
the oldest player in the game. Oh, I thought, Eric's yeah,
So what's your price? What's our price? A sponge bath? Oh?
We have to give him a sponge bath? He's naked. Yes, what's
your price? I mean, under the right circumstance, I do it for
free, but I wouldn't really want to. I know I was going to
put one dollar for him, such a good guy. I'm a bitch out
of the entire time. Do it now if it's just for like a weird
fetish he has twenty five hundred. See, I would just do it for
a dollar just because I had to put down a money amount. But I
would do it for you twenty five hundred, Laura, I would scrub your
bits for free to Brian's two thanks, Okay, Brian was incapacitated. I'll
give you the twenty five hundred dollars you paid me not to do it to
me. What about what's your price to wear a mullet for three months?
Oh? Hell no, dude, that's easy zero. I do it well.
I don't want to do it, but I would do it for like
two grand, just so it's because it's three months. I'm going to talk
you down two thousand, fifteen hundred twelve fifty seventeen to fifty. Now,
that's not the way the score. I don't want to negotiate. I want
to do it forty two. So I'll do it for five five hundred thousand.
I'll do fifteen. I do for like fifteen hundred, like it's three
months. Yeah, big deal, big deal. Uh eat airline food for
one year? Oh? I remember actually had airline food besides like the peanuts
and the trail mix. Really would I be able to pick what I ate?
Yeah? I've had their alcohol and it's disgusting. Same with the food.
All the food's not I switched seats one time for someone and they're like,
oh, we'll get you a free cocktails like sweet. So they're like,
what would you like like a jack and coke and it was like just
straight jack with a little bit of coke. I was like, dude,
well that's good though, Well it was gross. Oh okay, I eat
airline food for five for a year? No for a month? Oh for
a month? Oh yeah, like five thousand, that's fine. Why is
your price to eat a meal out of the garbage can? Oh? What
state is it in? How long has it been in there? It doesn't
say if it was just thrown in there thousand, if it's been there for
like if it's rotting five thousand? Is this a trash can that's full of
other things like dog poop bags and tampons? And is it your bathroom?
Trail, like is it your kitchen trail outside? Trash can about a dumpster
if it was just thrown in there or like within the same day one hundred
thousand, maybe fifty one million. There's actually a show on TLC that I
watched. I think it was called like My Strange Medal, My Strange Addiction.
But these people, oh god, remember the girl that ate the couch
stuffing? Yeah, would go behind grocery stores every night and get the stuff
that they threw out because it was stale or whatever, or the the the
date was pasted or whatever. Those dumpsters aren't that gross, though, and
they'd make full on meals. They make like all these glorious meals. But
it's not like those things get emptied like every day normally or every other d
or did you just use the word glorious talking about track somebody pulling food out
of a dumpster twas glorious? Okay, I have one more all right now?
Think really think about this. Okay, what is your price? Lay
in a coffin for one day, in a closed coffin full twenty four hours,
for twenty four hours. That's it. You have to lay in a
coffin for twenty four guys already done this. What's it mister Obisa that has
done it? Fifteen k? Just so it's worth my time? Do you
have ten ten k for just twenty four hours? Ten k in a day?
I do it for twenty five thous Oh my god, me too.
I just wrote twenty five thousand. You get to take in away? Is
at least like kind of comfortable in there? Like maybe I got a pillow,
maybe just a little. I'd like one of the extents of ones where
it's nice and comfortable. Yeah, I think satin pillow. Yeah, sleep,
I bring my phone with me. You can't like move your legs or
anything. You can't your legs, you can't like bend your knees or do
anything. I can roll over. Can I choose when I'd like to do
it? Because when I'd like to do it is when I'm like one hundred
years old and then I'm already there. So what good is the money?
Then? If I go, oh, I just have one more leave it
to Laura and you. Okay, I have one more question? Yeah,
ask for more than Eric. What's your price to go two rounds with an
MMA fighter? Oh god, oh god, Yeah, I'm going to ask
for a big boy contract. Then what are you doing? Draw on your
face because you twenty million, twenty million? I want an MMA contract?
Then to go to rounds fifty million? Yeah? Really yeah, don't you
guys are knocked out. I'm gonna get the shit bet on me. I
can have less medical issues. Here. Here's what I would say an MMA
fighter. Now, if he said something mean to me, then it would
be a real, real quick fight. Yeah, you go down really fast,
he go down really Wait. Wait, what if he said something mean
to you? Oh? Yeah, well he's like, I don't like your
pants. They look kind of stupid. You're like, oh, this is
it, buddy. I was gonna get crushed, but now you're gonna get
no. Like if you called me names or something, you're crappy. Oh,
I'm gonna I'm gonna pay, And then I'd be like Laura Bryan,
I hold my ear rings and hold my shoes. I really want to wrestle
you right now. So bad that sounds oddly so to you. I do
like, I feel like I want to like seriously wrestle something. I don't
put on, put on a pair of petal pussures and let's go. No,
I will kick his who mine me? Were we talking wrestling or fighting?
No, we're talking like fighting, because if punches are getting thrown,
No, wrestling on the ground like each other. Are you kidding? I'd
have you pinned down so fast, I don't think so. Oh listen,
Okay, here's here is all I'd have to I shouldn't tell you my my
secret, okay, but I know I'd win so fast. I'd have to
do is make a sound like I was gonna vomit, and she'd be she'd
be out the door you're in. I think about like sticking your finger up
my butt? Oh that too? Any tactic that will work? Yeah?
That would that would I'd fart on your face, like, oh my god.
One of the stink. I'd give her the shocker. Yeah, yeah,
I'd give her the shocker, one and the stink and one in the
pink. There we go. Yeah, you gotta like you gotta do it
for you, gotta do it forcel though it's not meant to be. No,
I'd pick her up like a six pack. Yeah, just carry her
around the rim. Did throw three pointer into the arctogon whose idea was that
I have my big wrestling belt out I'd be like, who's but it's a
cocker. Oh my god, Well, real quick, speaking about being on
an airline, because we just were talking about being on an airline. If
you wear red, its studies have shown that flight attendants will treat you better
if you were red. They will give you a second, a second bag
of peanuts, They will tend to you faster, they will be nicer to
you if you wear red. That's what that's. I wear a red jacket
on my flight to Vegas on Southwest and I got yeah, but you're also
different when it comes to companies corporations. Oh my god. And then finally
this story. There's a woman who went viral for explaining how awkward it is
when she gets a new job because her name is Samantha Heart and with the
way a lot of companies create emails. Oh no, it's with their first
letter of her first name and her last name short. Is that what it
is? Oh my god? The company? Oh my god, Oh my
god. She has to tell them ahead of time before she gets a job,
that so that her email is going to be sharp, so it can't
be sam h I know, but that's funny. Yeah, that's so that's
pretty long. Well, I mean, imagine having my last name. I
know, how often do you get made fun of for that? Oh?
All the time? That though, that's not that bad. No, but
when people see my business card and I could always tell like there has been
that way your whole life. Oh yeah, but you didn't even know what
a rim job was when you were little little I didn't, do You want
to know how I found out? Yes, So I was doing a photo
shoot in l A. The guys like want a rim job? No,
this was for Oh god, did I ever Did I ever tell you the
story about who's the Who was the guy that did the did the He was
the game show host and he was the super Barker, not Bob Barker,
the other one. Oh oh, the guy that did the dating show one.
No, no, I'll think I'll think of it. I got hit
on. No, I'll I'll think of who it was. I can't even
believe. I can't remember who this is right now. But I was doing
a photo shoot for Hugo boss on Pat Jack. No, not Pat s
Jack, I'll think of it. Not Mike Douglas. It was a long
time ago, but I was on what's the main road in West Hollywood,
Santa Monica Boulevard, so they were changing the film and I we finished the
photo shoot and I went in to a men's store to buy a pair of
pants. And at the time, they didn't have debit cards. There were
no such thing as cell phones, like, none of that stuff. So
you wrote a check and remember how they in the upper left hand corner they
used to make the little cross and then they write your driver's license number and
your birthday and all that stuff. So I remember the guy behind the counter.
I go to give him the check and he looks at my name and
goes, is that your real last name? And I go, uh huh,
and he goes, honey, I don't do that anymore. I heard
you can get appatitis from it. And I'm like what, And he explained
it to you. I went back to my apartment and I called my agent
and I'm like, what does that mean? And they come over. Yeah,
she's the one that told me. Okay, can we talk about what
exactly it is? Just look at what the your tongue? Right? Yeah,
okay, do I need to tell you what sex is too? Well?
Maybe now? I mean yes, it's kind of like kind of lingus
just in a different hole. Have you yourself put on the receiving No,
No, don't. You don't want to know. And no, it's yes,
it's definitely been. Yes, why do you say that? Look,
take a look at Eric and then let me know if he's gonna say no
to that question. Wait. Oh, he's been on the receiving end.
Yes, who do you think I was asking about me? Oh? No,
I know you haven't, but you would tell us if you had.
I'm sure I took it up to then only twice. Okay, let me
alone. It was just twice. It was a mistake. It was twice.
Oh my god, down, I only have one rock of shame when
that was dressed as an Indian, only one the old Indian kills in hand
after my walk of shame. That it's also inappropriate. That was the first
time I did an oh my, oh my god, oh my god.
I need to stop this right now. Okay, stop, okay. Well,
next week, we have a guest and her name is Lucindy Kay and
she she's a reporter at Cogo AM six hundred and she does a segment that
is all about good things that are happening in our community. And she is
just like a ray of sunshine, this woman Lucid. Just wait. So
we have her next week and then the week after that the Big Laura Kane
After Dark Talent Show. Yes, I'm gonna bug you about it on Sunday.
You can bug me, but it doesn't you know, I'm not gonna
respond. So Saturday and Sunday you'll hear back from me Monday at around probably
New Nish Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night. My talent is going
to be being as boring as possible on a show no one's ever seen anyone
this boring on podcast live podcast before. You're gonna have to think of something.
Can I play that guitar right there? Can you? Though? No,
you'll figure it out anyway. I'll figure it out the guitar out.
Oh and we were starting a contest and Instagram contest. But I'll tell you
about that in a minute of not in a minute next week. And has
to do with money, and it has to do with you having a chance
to win it. No, he has to pony some of it up.
What do you mean, Yeah, I'll tell you about it after the show.
Wait, I haven't read I have not agreed to anything. That's why
we're telling you. That's why we're telling That's why we tell you on the
air. So you can't say no, no, okay, fine, she's
gonna text you on the weekend. Then I won't answer. I'll be busy.
He doesn't answer me either, the same page. Well, maybe you
should stop up texting on the weekend about work stuff. No, he works
on the weekend and he can. He he has his phone at work.
He takes forever to text me, and then I'll text him something super heart
fell or whatever, and he'll go, Okay, that's it. I'm always
I always put effort into make sure I'm at least cordial enough. And yeah,
you're pretty cordial, but this, this actually takes effort for you.
I didn't say it takes effort, but I measure my responses. I'm not
just like okay, not like okay, bitch like sure. So I said,
hey, can you put a video of the doll Face Club Sober Living
Home on our website, which he which he did, of the girls saying
thank you, And then I said you know, and he goes, yeah,
I'll get that up. Appropriate response with this was like this, this
took effort. Yeah, I'll get that. It's not I don't want to
say it took effort. I didn't think it wasn't like I was like,
oh, I'll think about it. But they are measured responses. It's not
like I'm just like whatever, like I know. Can you imagine if she
if she poured her heart out and I just sent her a thumbs up,
I wouldn't be surprised. No, I just say, okay is the worst.
Okay, that is what that's like. You she'll send me a long
ass text on Saturday. I'll be like, I'll look at this. On
Monday. I'll just send her an emoji with like the little icon like slapping
its forehead. Have you seen this icon? The Italian I'll turn on I
do not disturb right after she texts me, so she knows I read it
and do not disturb. You know what we should do just send her random
So I'm going to send her like an egg plant, a splash of water
and an eyeball or the peach yeah anyway, all right, that that you're
looking at dicks right now? The or the slimy grinning poo curly poo face,
the pile poop all right, we gotta end this thing, all right,
You guys will be back next week. We're live on Monday night,
but we have episodes that drop officially Tuesday and Thursdays. Hold on, I
have a question for you and Brian. Oh god, you do this every
time. It's probably something like really great that should have been on earlier.
Maybe is it a question? Is it coming soon? Yeah? Yes,
because we're ready to lock out here. Okay, now this is really good
for Laura. She'll fit right into this question. Okay, you're at Walmart
and you need to buy three items. The goal is to make the cashier
as uncomfortable as possible. What three items do you buy? Okay? I
know, Brian, Okay, three items. One is a small vibrator,
the second is a larger vibrator, and the third is the biggest cucumber that
they sell. That's good. I can't talk. I was going to say,
like like badgicil and purpose. So if there's such a thing, or
like cold sore medication and like a little vibrator, because they do sell those
at Walmart. Yeah, they know. What I would do, or you
could do is bleach eye droppers and advil, Oh my god, or a
shovel, zip ties and mine is condoms, lube and an egg plant.
That is good that for that? Yeah, well that implies a third person
or another person maybe, which is awkward. Yeah, yeah, and then
that's great. All right, we're done, no more questions? Are we
done with questions for right now? Okay? Now, now you've got to
start thinking about your talent, which is great and love your podcast? Well,
now, why do we have to end it? Because it's time.
It's been, it's been enough time for my time. I'll get up there
and I'll say, Laura, can you please text me three times? She'll
text me three times and I won't even look at my phone. I will
ignore her. What will you give me to lock out? Can you write
it down? Tell me what you'd give me? A rimmer? Oh god?
Oh how about just make it like two billions so he can't say no?
Oh my god. Well, I'm going to need payment out in front?
This is this watch? How much will it take for you for me
to lock out? Five dollars? Oh? If I lock out now love
your podcast? I could get paid to shut the podcast off every night.
I told you, I'm not ending until I get five dollars. I'm gonna
let it run. Podcast is running until I get five dollars. All right,
five dollars, say it up front. My purse is way over there.
Boy, are you being serious right now? Not cares? Okay?
Why love me? My sweet babies? Did you say that? Okay?
Love you, love you, love me, love me, Love you guys,