WEBVTT

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No alone. Hello, you cannot
do that show. You can't get this

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episode, bann This one's got to
stay up. I know. Oh gosh,

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leave it to you. Welcome to
Laura Kane after Dark, everybody,

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thank you for tuning in. Eric
just gave me like a boo boo just

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to wake up a little bit.
What he was doing before was way worse.

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It can't be banned from anything else. Please. Oh by the way,

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what love that Renegade scene? So
that okay, hilarious. I know

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it's so funny. So back in
the day, in the nineties, there

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used to be a show called Renegade. Stu Siegal Productions did Renegade Pensacola and

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Silk Stockings from San Diego, and
they were like nationwide shows and they were

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they played on I forgot what station. They were, like the UPN or

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you say network or something. Yeah. Anyway, So I was cast throughout

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a couple of years in different various
roles. Now this one popped up because

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I recently got a residual check for
a scene that I was in almost thirty

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years ago. Okay, it was
nineteen ninety six, okay, and I

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don't even have a speaking line for
three cents. No, it was twenty

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nine bucks. Oh really. Yeah. So this episode where I played Jennifer,

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I just walk in behind the one
of the main characters and I'm like,

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I'm sorry, I couldn't I couldn't
stop him from coming in. But

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I'm whispering I don't really have lines, and she's like, that's okay,

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and then I leave, like I'm
literally on for like two seconds. Yeah,

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and I got twenty nine bucks thirty
years later. Come on, that's

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awesome. Go so I found it
online somehow. Oh my god, that

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was delicious. I know it.
I had the really poofy bangs and everything.

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Yeah, it was great. You
had the total turd role. Awesome

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in nineteen ninety six. Eighty six, not ninety six. This is a

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big episode, you guys, because
apparently we Brian and I are about to

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get the gift of all gifts.
Brian gets his two year anniversary with Laura

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can after Dark Podcast producing the show
Gift. I get my birthday gift a

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little early, and now can you
can you say exactly how do you think

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Brian is going to react? Brian
will probably faint on site, and as

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he's fainting, he'll say, I
love you, Eric. This is bigger

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and better than what you've previously.
Oh, this makes the other the other

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stuff look like oop what? And
then okay, how do you think I'm

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going to react to the gift?
You will scream, I yeah, did

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you look for my birthday gift?
Or did you just have and upon something?

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And I was like, oh my
god, I looked you did?

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Yes? Oh my god, I
hate this is. Okay, let's roll

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some ass and let's jump. No, no, no, we're going to

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stretch this out. No, no, I've waited so long. Oh my

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god, this is You're gonna have
to come up here when we do.

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Okay, so let's play the ste
all right, So we have to talk

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about something from Capital Growthingwordsler. It's
their annual shred event. It's back on

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Saturday, May twenty fifth. The
annual shred event is they're bringing it back.

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Bring your unwanted documents, tax returns, process checks, financial statements,

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et cetera. Have them shredded while
chatting with the financial advisors. Now's your

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chance to come and see the new
office. The location is one two six

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eight zero High Bluff Drive, right
off of Delmar Heights Road. You make

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the first ride. I think up
nine thirty am till eleven thirty am on

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May twenty fifth. Refreshments will be
served and then you can tear the new

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office. It's really cool. Yeah, we'll keep you posted, Okay,

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So that's on May twenty fifth.
May twenty oh, we'll talk about our

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party after we talk more about Capital
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How lucky are we? Make sure
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sent you We love everything about La
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dot com and we got to talk
about our party which is coming up,

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Brian's second year anniversary party where he's
going to show up for an hour and

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a half and then go gamble.
But that's fine. At Viehas Resort and

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Casino. It's May twenty fourth,
which happens to be my birthday. Yes,

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and so doors open at six o'clock. I'm getting you a cake.

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You are, yes, I know, just the kind of you're just a

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simple girl with the dream. I
know exactly what kind of a cake you

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want or what kind of cake?
Yellow cake with any kind of frosting,

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any kind of frosting, well,
not too sweet and nothing with fruit,

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yes, yes, and you know
the frosting. I want chocolate, thank

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you, not any kind I don't
well, I mean any yes, any

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kind of chalk. Okay, thank
you. You scared me there from it

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that we weren't best friends anymore.
Okay, you and Marla like the exact

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same cake. Really THEFF number one
and you're both of your birthdays are in

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May. She Gemini. I think
she's a Taurus if her birthday was on

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Monday, yeah it was. Okay. Anyway, our party is May twenty

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fourth. It's at Vahause Casino and
Resort. And what we're doing is we're

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giving away some prizes. From six
to seven, doors open officially at seven

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before you, guys, I'll open
at six and then we're going to watch

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a great band, George Michael Reborn. This guy sounds looks just like George

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Michael, and you will have it
is the best time. It's such a

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fun show and it's already sold out
completely. So the only way you can

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get tickets, we have twenty five
pair to give to you, guys,

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and this is how you get them. Okay. We're not making you jump

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through tons of hoops or buy anything
or anything like that. You just have

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to follow us on Instagram, follow
us on TikTok, you have to tag

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a friend on one of our posts
or we'veposted or whatever, and then just

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subscribe to our YouTube channel, which
is free. You just hit the button

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and then if you do all those
things DM Laura Kane after dark on Instagram

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and the first twenty five people,
boom, I'll get your ticket. Boom

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boom. We're checking too, so
make sure you're actually subscribing. Oh yes,

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we will be double checking each one
of those boxes. Okay, so

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that is on May twenty fourth.
Oh my god, I can't, I

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can't, I can't, I can't
do this. I have to okay.

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I'm like, my armpits are split. Why because I'm nervous about what's in

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the bag. That's the bag,
you know. The best part is is

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such an underwhelming bag too. It's
laying a flat, like, yeah,

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so he didn't have these. He
was panicking before he got here, and

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he's like, I didn't I didn't
wrap Brian's gift or wars. Do you

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have any gift bags? And I'm
like, well, what size do you

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need? He goes, well,
probably the size of like a bread a

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bread box or whatever. And I'm
like, so it's an odd size but

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it's literally the size of a bread
box, but it's flat. Well I

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wasn't gonna play my hand and be
like, oh I need one. Well

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okay, so Eric claims that.
Okay before so I'm going first my birthday

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gift. Okay, so I'm getting
my birthday gift early. Do you want

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to explain anything before I open it
up? Like? How well? Yes,

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she went to get I do not
have your card and hear that I'm

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giving you on your actual birthday.
Okay, but happy birthday, Laura Kane.

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Oh my god, Okay, it's
let's take guess. Okay, it's

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it's got to be something, an
autograph of some sort, or tickets to

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something. I don't know why.
Oh, but you wouldn't be in like

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it doesn't feel tickety. It could
be a big envelope with or cah it's

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it's it's something that has a matt
it's a I'll let you guys see it

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first and then I'll turn it around. No, no way, how did

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you get that? I have my
sources the real Barbie, Margot Robbie.

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Is that her actual autograph? Yes? Oh my god? Did you get

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this? Like professionally dined? Oh
my god, that's so cool. She's

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like what I want to be when
I grow up. For that, bro,

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that's so cool. Okay, I
would never be able to read her

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her autograph. It doesn't look like
Margot Robbie at all. Just looks like

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a big scribble. But I am
so stoked, thank you. And that's

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such a cute picture of her.
That's on. I know. Oh I

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have to go see now, I'm
gonna have to go to Michael's to get

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a neat free, a neat one, and then I'll put it up on

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our wall. Yes, all right, now, Brian's turn. Now,

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Brian apparently he's going to faint.
Yes, now, Brian, you have

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to wait a minute. Let me
make sure that it's in here. Okay,

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make sure it's happy anniversary, Brian
for everything you do. Look,

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I'm taking claim to this too.
Now you have to you have to pull

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both out at the same time.
So there's there. You go. Okay,

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oh from what is it saying the
anniversary to you? Oh wow,

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god? Oh okay, so this
is oh wow, it's so much I

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love it. So you do realize
there's two signatures. Yeah, so this

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is halle Berry and ye halle Berry
and Keanu Reeves. And this is from

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the third third John Wick movie,
I think Parabellum, which is a great

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one, super good movie. Now
the really, the real kicker is the

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the third personalized Keanu Reeves thing I
have, the Happy two years. That

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was pretty crazy. That is insane, can I Yeah, yeah, okay.

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It's just on a on a like
a little square piece of paper.

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It looks like his marker was running
out a little bit. Brian, Happy

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anniversary two years. Keanu. Look
at that. Oh my god, I

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go mag shaking because he actually was
like touching this and then let me see

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this. Oh my gosh, what
is this movie? That's John Wick?

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That's Wick. I've never seen a
John Wick movie. Oh my god,

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watch him. I know I heard
it. I'm just I just love this

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man, Keanum so much, just
for he just seems like he's just so

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cool with his well he obviously is
so clearly with his fans. Oh my

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god, Ryan, that's pretty crazy
that I know you're gonna have like a

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whole shrine to Keanu. No,
I already have two things on my walf.

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Oh by the way, Oh,
he's like, there's something else coming

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here. There is, holy shit, but it is not what you think

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it is. Is it from some
Is it from Keanu Reeves? I am

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not going at leberty to say it's
Harrison for what's the what's the et on

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this? It's like another format,
Yeah exactly. No, hopefully it'll be

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here by your anniversary. Oh Jesus, my heart can't handle these things.

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Oh it's another like one day my
birthday started and it's just never stopped.

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Oh my god. That's so cool. Now now that you have somewhat of

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a rapport with either Keanu or people, what is the percentage in your opinion

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of him? One day showing up
in my living room. What is the

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percentage right now? That's a very
good question, missu. Yeah, yeah,

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because that was the original goal.
It was a lofty goal. It's

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very lofty. And in the meantime, we've been we've been getting these autographs

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for Brian, Yes, personalized letters
to Brian that could be for nobody else

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but Brian. Yeah, literally,
And but we still haven't gotten an etam

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maybe when he might sit in this
seat right here, do you think he's

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tired of writing my name? It's
with a why? Remember it's with a

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why, because I mean it's not
just like, oh, you know Keanu

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Reeves signed picture. Every single thing
he sent me says to Brian on it,

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like everything says to Brian. So
it's at least four times. Now

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00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:09.240
what has Eric told is people or
him about I know, I think that's

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this is so cool, Eric,
you have like the connections you are awesome,

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like Farby real life Farvey, She's
like I loved her. I've loved

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00:14:20.440 --> 00:14:24.639
her ever since I saw her in
Wolf of Wall Street that she was great

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00:14:24.679 --> 00:14:28.279
and I'm ever thinking she was the
most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And

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then she became Barbie Marco Robbie,
thank you Eric. Oh my gosh,

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Oh my gosh. But I saw
that dog Star was coming to the belly

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up at some point, yes,
like I think maybe it had already had

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happened, and I was like,
oh I better. It was like on

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a Thursday, though, So I
knew that it wasn't going to like coincide

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with our when we record our podcast. But we'll get him in here one

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of these days. I know it. I just know it, especially now

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that he knows like who you are
kind of. I mean, he he

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knows you know, you know,
Keanu Reeves knows you happy two years that's

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what he knows. That's crazy that
that's actually this is cool. This is

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00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:13.120
crazy, though, I know,
are you going to go back to Michael's

203
00:15:13.759 --> 00:15:16.159
or where'd you go? Hobby?
Love your Michaels. I don't know how

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00:15:16.200 --> 00:15:18.960
I'm gonna frame this, because didn't
they want to all want to touch it.

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00:15:20.639 --> 00:15:22.240
This has already got a mat on
it though, So Matt, how

206
00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:24.799
do you a frame that has a
like a mat something that has a mat

207
00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:28.519
on it? No, I'm talking
about that. This is such a tiny

208
00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:31.519
ast thing. I don't even know
if they could frame something this small.

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00:15:31.759 --> 00:15:35.919
Oh my god, I have to
see Oh my gosh. Well, congratulations,

210
00:15:35.919 --> 00:15:39.919
that was awesome. Thank you,
thank you, thank you Eric,

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Eric, we love you so much, and thank you for in advance for

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00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:48.600
my cake. You're on twenty fourth. You're welcome, and no, we

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00:15:48.600 --> 00:15:50.840
can't wait to see you guys at
the party. It'll be great. It'll

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00:15:52.039 --> 00:15:58.399
celebrate Brian and oh I learned how
to. I'm very disappointed in one thing

215
00:15:58.440 --> 00:16:03.840
though, what he didn't faint.
I thought Brian was going No, Brian,

216
00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:07.120
no, there's no if if Keano
actually keep well, I just want

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00:16:07.159 --> 00:16:11.720
to say the ante for me,
fainting is increased with everything I get.

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00:16:11.879 --> 00:16:18.039
So I've he's never been. This
is as amped up as I've ever seen.

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00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:21.320
The first time, I almost fainted. The first thing, I almost

220
00:16:21.399 --> 00:16:27.440
just die. I can I can
safely say this, Oh god, what

221
00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:37.279
when you see what's coming next?
What the hell? Okay, how is

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00:16:37.320 --> 00:16:45.039
this happening? Just watch? Wait? When when did we say? When

223
00:16:45.039 --> 00:16:48.200
did you him? I'm waiting for
it. It could come next week.

224
00:16:48.480 --> 00:16:52.639
It could like you could be presenting
this to him at the party. I

225
00:16:52.679 --> 00:16:56.600
could Oh my god, Oh my
god, oh my god. All right,

226
00:16:56.000 --> 00:17:00.279
well, I don't say I know
I don't even know. I don't,

227
00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:03.879
are you. I am pulling out
every stop for the two of you.

228
00:17:03.119 --> 00:17:07.200
I think he must be in the
Illuminati or something. He's I am

229
00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:15.119
working every angle, all your Hollywood
sources. Yes, and I usually don't

230
00:17:15.279 --> 00:17:18.960
I never would do that, But
don't do that for the two of you.

231
00:17:18.119 --> 00:17:22.920
I am doing it. My god, that is just so cool,

232
00:17:23.039 --> 00:17:27.920
and I'm fine, there's more to
come. That's just totally my heart can't

233
00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:33.839
handle it. Crazy, but that's
how I want to die. So okay,

234
00:17:33.880 --> 00:17:38.640
So all right, I have what
the most popular baby names are for

235
00:17:38.680 --> 00:17:44.920
this year, the top ten.
You don't care. The Social Security Administration

236
00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:48.200
released its annual list of the most
popular names in the US for boys and

237
00:17:48.279 --> 00:17:53.599
girls. Now do we want to
guess any names before I give you the

238
00:17:53.680 --> 00:18:00.240
names? Well, you're for twenty
three Nora, yeah, uh no,

239
00:18:00.799 --> 00:18:07.759
Jake no, that was like two
thousand and five. Emma, Emma is

240
00:18:07.839 --> 00:18:15.119
number two, Olivia number one,
y she did such a beautiful name.

241
00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:21.079
Let me think, Come on,
there's one that there's so many of I

242
00:18:21.160 --> 00:18:26.519
know so many of these. Ryan. Ryan is not on the boy or

243
00:18:26.640 --> 00:18:33.640
girl list. I'll just give you. I'll just give him to you.

244
00:18:33.680 --> 00:18:40.519
Okay, here are the girls,
Luna, Evelyn, Evelyn, Evelyn,

245
00:18:41.319 --> 00:18:48.279
Ava, Isabella, Mia, Sophia. That's one of the one. I

246
00:18:48.359 --> 00:18:52.960
know a lot of Sophia's Amelia,
Charlotte. That's a pretty pretty name.

247
00:18:53.400 --> 00:18:56.799
Emma, and then Olivia. And
then for boys and he guesses on the

248
00:18:56.799 --> 00:19:04.000
boys. Jake no, no,
Jake no. William is number ten old

249
00:19:04.039 --> 00:19:10.480
school, then Lucas Henry. I
love it. I've already decided it's gonna

250
00:19:10.519 --> 00:19:14.720
be my first son's name. Oh, Charlie was almost Henry more for Henry

251
00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:18.240
Jones. But you know Henry Jones. Who's Henry Jones? If you think

252
00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:22.759
about it will come to you.
Maybe not. You should know, though

253
00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:26.799
I probably should. Am I embarrassed
right now? Henry Jones Junior? I

254
00:19:26.920 --> 00:19:30.200
say, do you know who Jones
Junior is? Ookay, we don't know,

255
00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:33.640
well who is he? That's Indiana
Jones's real name? Oh? Sorry,

256
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:40.480
oh, okay, okay? Uh
Theodore Theodore Theo. Oh that's cute.

257
00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:42.440
Matteo No, I hate the name. Oh, I love that.

258
00:19:42.519 --> 00:19:47.119
I know a couple Mateo's and the
great people by hate Nameteo call Maddie right

259
00:19:48.119 --> 00:19:55.079
or Teo, Elijah, Oliver,
Noah and Liam is the number one name.

260
00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:57.960
Liam. Okay. So, now
I have a game, you guys.

261
00:19:59.079 --> 00:20:03.880
It's called the five second uh rule? Five second yeah, five second

262
00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:12.240
rules, and the the the object
of the game, I can't even think

263
00:20:12.240 --> 00:20:15.839
straight. The object of the game
is to name three things that are on

264
00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:21.599
this card within five seconds. Here's
the little timer, your whole one.

265
00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:26.279
You need help, Yes, here's
the timer goes like this, So you

266
00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:33.160
have exactly that much time. I
got it, I think. So that's

267
00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:41.039
five seconds. That's five seconds.
Okay, So I will just read you

268
00:20:41.079 --> 00:20:45.799
what you're supposed to. Let me
read the card to you. No,

269
00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:48.039
I'm gonna read the card to you
and then to you, and then you

270
00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:51.680
read one to me, and then
whoever gets it gets the card. Who

271
00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:55.000
has the most cards at the end
wins. Take turns individually, right,

272
00:20:55.079 --> 00:21:00.680
Yes, okay? Ready, Eric, Yes, name three nicknames for sexual

273
00:21:00.759 --> 00:21:10.440
intercourse, fucking doing it bareback?
Okay, all right, but bear just

274
00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:14.200
refers to the nature of the protection. Oh, I'll give it to him.

275
00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:15.880
I'll give it to him. I'll
give it to me. All right

276
00:21:15.920 --> 00:21:22.079
now, Brian, name three places
you'd like to hide a camera, plant,

277
00:21:22.279 --> 00:21:29.039
cabinet, and TV. Okay,
all right, okay, Laura,

278
00:21:29.960 --> 00:21:34.680
things that get stuck under your nails, food, makeup, and hair?

279
00:21:36.759 --> 00:21:38.920
Okay, hair, I don't know, you get hair stuck under your nails?

280
00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:42.079
Well? Dog air? Maybe?
Yeah? Sometimes? I know that's

281
00:21:42.119 --> 00:21:48.359
totally gross. Okay, ready,
yes, Eric, name three male body

282
00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:55.720
parts dick, nipples, and balls. Okay, we're good at this game,

283
00:21:55.720 --> 00:22:00.440
all right, Yeah, Brian,
name three celebrities involved in a sex

284
00:22:00.519 --> 00:22:07.400
scandal. Uh Marilyn Monroe. I
don't know. Actually, okay, so

285
00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:11.599
when you're not okay, so now
you try it. Wait wait, you

286
00:22:11.599 --> 00:22:12.920
can't say Mayln Monroe. So you
said that, Yes, yes, you

287
00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:22.039
can't say that three celebrities in a
sex scandal. Uh. Kim Kardashian Uh,

288
00:22:22.720 --> 00:22:32.200
Ellen degenerous? What okay? The
lady who doesn't like penises? Okay,

289
00:22:32.680 --> 00:22:38.519
oh my god, Okay wait a
minute, Paris Hilton. Nope,

290
00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:41.759
that's hard. It's hard. It's
hard, see because I can't you can't

291
00:22:41.799 --> 00:22:45.559
repeat what anybody else said? What's
a sex scandal? Too? Like it?

292
00:22:45.720 --> 00:22:52.000
Like? Is it just cheating?
Pamela Pamela Anderson and Tommy Abou Russell

293
00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:55.920
Crow che on his wife? Is
that sex scandal? Sure? With Meg

294
00:22:56.000 --> 00:22:59.519
Ryan? Yes, that was a
sex scandal. Yes, totally okay,

295
00:22:59.720 --> 00:23:06.279
Now, Eric, yes, named
three songs about sex? Uh doing it

296
00:23:07.240 --> 00:23:11.599
a big ship? I don't know, okay, Brian. Three songs about

297
00:23:11.599 --> 00:23:15.279
sex, Go Cake by the Ocean, Pour some sugar on me, and

298
00:23:15.880 --> 00:23:19.720
come on Eileen, that's about sex. I'm pretty sure. All right.

299
00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:25.160
I hate that song. I didn't
know that. Oh my god, I

300
00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:27.519
hate that song more than you in
that dress. My thoughts, I can

301
00:23:27.519 --> 00:23:32.960
confess that song. Yeah, oh
ver John dirty. At least it's a

302
00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:36.720
very least a very I've never really
listened to the lyrics except for come on,

303
00:23:36.880 --> 00:23:40.400
Eileen. I love that song.
Okay, come on come is in

304
00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:45.920
the title true? So now it's
my turn, Yes, okay. Jerks

305
00:23:47.240 --> 00:23:55.759
named three jerks Antonio, Brian sometimes
and for the word cock, thank you,

306
00:23:56.720 --> 00:24:03.960
okay, Eric, three jerks go
trump um ship. That's the only

307
00:24:04.039 --> 00:24:08.000
jerk I can think. Ryan,
Three jerks go Jimmy Kimmel, Charlie Sheen

308
00:24:08.200 --> 00:24:14.839
and uh uh no, no,
I know, I know. Sometimes it

309
00:24:14.920 --> 00:24:22.279
is all right. Now it's Eric
Stern. Name three ways you deal with

310
00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:29.000
a hemorrhoid, cream, medicine and
poking it. Okay, you get it?

311
00:24:30.359 --> 00:24:34.000
Okay, Brian, name three places
you'd hate to get a pimple.

312
00:24:36.799 --> 00:24:45.160
But genitals and back easy anywhere.
I guess. No one wants the camera

313
00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:47.680
so we can see. There's no
camera right now, there's no I know.

314
00:24:47.799 --> 00:24:51.599
Can you turn it around? All
right? Oh my god? Okay,

315
00:24:51.640 --> 00:24:59.880
so here ready? Yeah, okay, go drugs? Three drugs ecstasy,

316
00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:03.640
heroin, cocaine. Okay, yes, I know, thank you?

317
00:25:03.720 --> 00:25:12.359
All right now it's Eric Stern named
three times faster is better? No,

318
00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:18.440
I'm going to name okay, name
three things that burn, go fire,

319
00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:30.960
a stove and oban, I mean
whatever. Brian named three people with questionable

320
00:25:32.200 --> 00:25:38.119
morals, uh, Trump, Charlie
Sheen, and Jimmy Kim. Okay,

321
00:25:38.200 --> 00:25:41.319
whatever, I'll give it to you, all right. But he seems like

322
00:25:41.319 --> 00:25:45.359
a jerk. I don't. I
don't think. Oh this is a great

323
00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:48.960
one for Laura. Oh, here
we go, ready. And activities that

324
00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:55.759
make you hungry, oh, sex, working out and gardening. You wouldn't

325
00:25:55.759 --> 00:25:59.759
know about any of those things,
I know, not lately. Not.

326
00:26:00.640 --> 00:26:06.839
Okay, Eric, name three words
you say when you're angry, fuck,

327
00:26:07.079 --> 00:26:14.440
shit and crap. Okay, Brian, name three lies you tell on a

328
00:26:14.519 --> 00:26:18.480
job interview. Yes or no?
I've never been to jail. Yes,

329
00:26:18.519 --> 00:26:22.160
I have that work experience, and
I don't have any weaknesses. You didn't

330
00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:23.480
get it? What, yes,
I did? No, the ball was

331
00:26:23.480 --> 00:26:26.920
already there was still one. There
was still one left. See I'm so

332
00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:33.640
easy. Such a pushover. Okay, go one more round, luracane.

333
00:26:33.720 --> 00:26:40.920
Okay, what reasons you get?
Dirty gardening, playing in mud, and

334
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:45.880
sexual intercourse. That's the same thing
you said last time you did the same

335
00:26:45.880 --> 00:26:52.079
thing, didn't you. Okay?
Eric, name three men who should consider

336
00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:57.000
hair removal, Tom Selleck, Trump
and Charlie Sheen. Ooh, Trump with

337
00:26:57.039 --> 00:27:00.400
no hair, that would be you
know what, I actually like him a

338
00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:03.920
little bit better. A bald Donald
Trump. You would look a lot more

339
00:27:03.000 --> 00:27:07.640
imposing, like you look like good
doctor No from the original James Bond.

340
00:27:07.640 --> 00:27:11.400
He looked like this. Yeah,
this structor evil? All right? Brian

341
00:27:11.960 --> 00:27:18.119
named three people who need to gain
weight. I don't know any innerxic people.

342
00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:22.720
Okay, I'll give you a different
one. Name three uses for coconut

343
00:27:22.720 --> 00:27:30.640
oil lubricant good for your hair,
and moisturizer lubricip. You know how I

344
00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:33.079
know that? Like actually, because
I used to like there was this one

345
00:27:33.079 --> 00:27:36.200
time I saw like this, like
this couple they walked into the target I

346
00:27:36.240 --> 00:27:37.640
was like, in the same mile. I think it was in like the

347
00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:41.599
super aisle, and they bought two
things of coconut oil and they walked out.

348
00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:42.480
That was all they got. And
I was like why and so like

349
00:27:42.480 --> 00:27:45.000
Google, I was like, well, else can you do with cocon oil?

350
00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:47.720
And like the one of the top
number results is lubricint. I was

351
00:27:47.759 --> 00:27:52.200
like, it wasn't for just moisturizing. No, I mean, I guess

352
00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:56.440
it is. It's like two and
one's for moisturizing. You're wiener, all

353
00:27:56.559 --> 00:28:02.519
right? Eric, Yes, named
three people who would make better zombies than

354
00:28:02.599 --> 00:28:11.200
humans. Uh, Trump, Charlie
Sheen and Tom Selling recycling pot of answers.

355
00:28:11.480 --> 00:28:18.880
Brian named three ways the world could
end Trump nuclear annihilation, pandemic and

356
00:28:19.079 --> 00:28:22.920
volcanoes. Perfect Okay, I don't
know. I didn't see that one.

357
00:28:23.559 --> 00:28:36.160
Uh shoot, juicy things okay,
vaginas, oranges and pineapples one of those

358
00:28:36.200 --> 00:28:44.680
things in your experiences. Okay,
Eric, that's so gross. Name three.

359
00:28:44.920 --> 00:28:48.039
I don't think you well, I
don't think you know that. Named

360
00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:52.599
three. Oh here, this is
a good one. Named three uses for

361
00:28:53.359 --> 00:29:00.319
your tongue, Oh, kissing,
kunnelingus and analongus analongus. I don't think

362
00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:04.680
that's a word. Yes, it
is the word. What's the word rimming?

363
00:29:06.839 --> 00:29:10.039
Oh yeah, in a lungus.
Though, in a lungus, I

364
00:29:10.119 --> 00:29:15.960
think they called eating ass or licking
ass. Never have never will never have

365
00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:19.759
never will a tasty treat there?
No, no, no, Lauracane has

366
00:29:19.799 --> 00:29:23.599
never done that. Chocolate factory is
closed, yes, and I think that

367
00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:29.920
goes in there. Everything has come
out, okay, sometimes occasionally, like

368
00:29:29.960 --> 00:29:37.000
once every month. Okay, name
three items in a mob daughter's dowry.

369
00:29:37.119 --> 00:29:41.160
What the hell does that mean?
Okay? Uh, gaudy rings, drugs

370
00:29:41.200 --> 00:29:47.880
and a pistol? Okay, Eric, wait, no, it's waits my

371
00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:56.359
turn. Yes, okay, go
tasty things okay, penis, chocolate,

372
00:29:56.359 --> 00:30:02.279
cake and oranges. I don't think
the first one counts. Why you never

373
00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:07.200
taste right? But tasty? Ask
Eric? Be tasting object like actually like,

374
00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:10.720
oh this is a pleasant like I
wish my drink was this flavor.

375
00:30:11.799 --> 00:30:17.640
I it depends on the person,
but I you know, I'm giving myself

376
00:30:17.640 --> 00:30:19.680
that card. I get that card
there. Okay, one more round and

377
00:30:19.720 --> 00:30:23.039
then and then we'll stop. This
is fun. We're getting we're getting good

378
00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:30.440
at this now. Eric named three
things you nibble nibble, neck cock and

379
00:30:30.599 --> 00:30:37.519
ass neck, went from next straight
to cock, and from cock to ask

380
00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:45.359
how many cocks you nibble? No? No, okay, so it's like

381
00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:48.680
he's like you want had like,
no, I want you to nibble.

382
00:30:49.039 --> 00:30:55.279
Brian named three reasons to feel shame
nibbling on cock, getting a bad grade,

383
00:30:55.359 --> 00:31:00.720
and committing a crime. Nailed it. Pick a good one for me

384
00:31:00.759 --> 00:31:03.319
to end on. Oh well,
this is a good one for you.

385
00:31:04.039 --> 00:31:08.799
Ways to end a bad date.
Leave the restaurant, pretend that you're going

386
00:31:08.839 --> 00:31:11.880
to the bathroom, and pretend you
get a phone call emergency. Oh that's

387
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:15.359
very good. Thank you, thank
you, thank you. Do we want

388
00:31:15.400 --> 00:31:18.160
to end one more round? Let's
go one. I'm around okay, half

389
00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:21.680
an hour right now? All right, we could go as we want.

390
00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:26.720
Eric, Yeah, name three ways
you get a bruise, falling, punching,

391
00:31:27.799 --> 00:31:32.960
hitting, Okay, I mean those
are all correct? Yeah okay,

392
00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:40.240
Brian? Yeah. Three free things
water, air, sun, well not

393
00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:44.920
water, so outside water is free
depending on where you get from not from

394
00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:49.720
the sink. No, no,
that's also not free. Okay, mix

395
00:31:49.799 --> 00:31:56.680
it up. See if there's any
good ones. Oh okay, okay,

396
00:31:56.799 --> 00:32:04.160
let's see this is going to be
oh god, okay, ready my god,

397
00:32:04.680 --> 00:32:07.359
Oh my god, Laura, I'm
gonna have to maybe do a couple

398
00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:12.480
of these for you. Okay,
Okay, nicknames for evacuating your bowels,

399
00:32:12.599 --> 00:32:16.720
okay, dropping your kids off at
the pool, put shitting, and crapping.

400
00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:20.839
I'm gonna say you should have just
said crapping and dumping. That's great,

401
00:32:21.960 --> 00:32:24.640
but that was clever the first one, I guess. Okay, Eric,

402
00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:38.400
mm hmmm, all right, name
three uh uses for pantyhose, mask

403
00:32:39.680 --> 00:32:44.720
for your legs, and for your
hands. For your hands, I don't

404
00:32:44.759 --> 00:32:49.039
think you could. We know if
you describe what you can do with them

405
00:32:49.079 --> 00:32:53.640
with your Okay, I was nice
to you. I gave you one for

406
00:32:53.720 --> 00:32:58.319
what I don't remember. No,
I don't think you earned it. I

407
00:32:58.359 --> 00:33:02.240
did. I didn't have a contentious
answer. Okay, we have not withheld

408
00:33:02.279 --> 00:33:08.960
one from anybody. Okay, here's
the one, Brian, name three things

409
00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:14.640
that could get stuck up your nose. A bean, a pencil, and

410
00:33:14.680 --> 00:33:20.720
a paper clip. Okay, true, all those things are a dick.

411
00:33:20.759 --> 00:33:22.720
Okay, here, okay, not
one of those. I don't want that.

412
00:33:22.759 --> 00:33:29.240
I don't want that top one because
I don't know. I know this

413
00:33:29.319 --> 00:33:31.599
is like the nod, isn't an
uncensored version. There's a family version two

414
00:33:31.599 --> 00:33:40.359
of this game. It's fun.
Here's another death here, oh my god.

415
00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:46.559
And there are some on the other
side too. Oh yeah, they

416
00:33:46.559 --> 00:33:52.799
were all over the place. Damn. Okay, okay, ready, yes,

417
00:33:58.160 --> 00:34:02.720
reasons you wish you were a dog. I can sleep all day,

418
00:34:02.839 --> 00:34:06.680
I can eat whatever I want,
and I can ship in the yard.

419
00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:12.039
You can do that, now,
that's true. What I would have totally

420
00:34:12.119 --> 00:34:15.599
said I could lick my own balls. Well, why would I have something

421
00:34:15.679 --> 00:34:22.079
good? I don't want? Yeah? Use all right, Eric, Yes,

422
00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:24.760
something wrong with your dog? He's
been looking his balls the past three

423
00:34:24.840 --> 00:34:36.119
hours. Three nicknames for urination,
pissing, pee and uh uh urinating?

424
00:34:36.400 --> 00:34:40.880
I don't know. Three nicknames for
urination, whizzing, weeing, and tinkling.

425
00:34:42.280 --> 00:34:45.840
Good. Have you ever heard of
the term making water? No?

426
00:34:46.039 --> 00:34:50.519
I got to make some water.
That's that's old school. That doesn't make

427
00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:52.599
sense. What it's an actual thing? It doesn't make sense. That came

428
00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:58.000
to my head anyway. Okay,
now it's my turn or whatever. Lour

429
00:34:58.119 --> 00:35:06.000
Kane, Yes, sluts okay,
Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Nicki

430
00:35:06.039 --> 00:35:12.119
minaj Oh what I don't know.
I'm sorry. Nikki. Well, yeah,

431
00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:14.199
no, she talks about being a
slut and her songs, right,

432
00:35:14.519 --> 00:35:16.199
yeah, I think that was more
car booty. Ho isn't that her song?

433
00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:22.440
What? What about? What else
pussy I should have? I don't

434
00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:28.719
think. Well, I'm you know
what, I'm keeping the card. Eric

435
00:35:29.679 --> 00:35:37.599
name three places you find a prostitute, Ali Club and Vegas. There's the

436
00:35:37.599 --> 00:35:45.199
one that lives here. Okay,
Brian, Yeah. Three reasons to be

437
00:35:45.440 --> 00:35:50.199
embarrassed. You ship yourself, you
pissed yourself, or you came accidentally in

438
00:35:50.239 --> 00:35:55.960
your pants. I got and I
was like, I was like, all

439
00:35:57.000 --> 00:36:00.159
right, I'm gonna go for them. Crazy one, my god, Okay,

440
00:36:00.199 --> 00:36:04.559
that would be embarrassing. It would
be totally embarrassing. Yeah, uh

441
00:36:05.199 --> 00:36:15.400
okay, yes, let me see
here. Colors your poop could be brown,

442
00:36:15.840 --> 00:36:21.159
green, yellow, Look, I
even have time to spare. God,

443
00:36:21.280 --> 00:36:23.079
thank you give me another one that
was boring yellow poop. I'm a

444
00:36:23.119 --> 00:36:28.639
little concerned for you. I never
will that's it could be asking for a

445
00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:34.920
friend, okay, okay, ready, yeah, another one places you don't

446
00:36:34.960 --> 00:36:39.760
want to find blood Okay, under
my nose, coming out of my butt,

447
00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:45.320
or coming out of my knee.
Okay, then now it's Brian's turn

448
00:36:45.400 --> 00:36:46.599
to do that same one. Okay, wait, where is the question?

449
00:36:47.320 --> 00:36:52.280
Places you don't want to find blood? My bed, my bathroom, my

450
00:36:52.360 --> 00:37:01.840
pants. You're good at keep it
simple, stupid. Okay, Eric,

451
00:37:02.039 --> 00:37:07.000
Yes, name three things you shout
out during sex. I'm coming, oh

452
00:37:07.039 --> 00:37:13.280
baby, Yeah, that's it.
You get done a lot more than three

453
00:37:13.360 --> 00:37:16.800
on that one. Okay, but
Zinga, this is a good one.

454
00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:23.880
Okay. Name three things you shouldn't
buy on discount toilet paper, pregnancy tests,

455
00:37:23.920 --> 00:37:30.199
and condoms. Good job, you
guys are infesting my mind with just

456
00:37:30.239 --> 00:37:32.159
sex stuff, and that's something I
can think about. I had condom instantly,

457
00:37:32.159 --> 00:37:34.880
but I was like, I don't
want to say condom. That's gross.

458
00:37:34.960 --> 00:37:36.880
Like we've done so many and I
was like, all right, that's

459
00:37:36.880 --> 00:37:37.880
all I got. Hey, we're
on, you know what, we're on

460
00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:44.320
a vibe right now, we're ready, yes, already, then we'll stop.

461
00:37:44.679 --> 00:37:51.360
Okay, get ready to turn it? Okay. Things you bang drum

462
00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:57.360
a guy a girl? I don't
think you could. You can bang a

463
00:37:57.400 --> 00:38:00.400
guy. You can bang a girl, of course. I alway here when

464
00:38:00.400 --> 00:38:01.320
I say like, oh I'm a
bang, it's always on, like I'm

465
00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:06.039
not bang her, I'm going to
bang him. Maybe you can say that.

466
00:38:06.079 --> 00:38:15.880
I guess I'm just Eric named three
things on a hooker's to do list.

467
00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:21.559
Get cash, get blown, get
her vagina eaten because I say get

468
00:38:21.559 --> 00:38:36.559
tested. All right, okay,
Brian pay Rent name uh three Oh this

469
00:38:36.679 --> 00:38:39.719
is good, this is good.
Name three places you don't want to have

470
00:38:40.199 --> 00:38:45.000
diarrhea? Uh in my car,
in a dressing room at the grocery store.

471
00:38:45.519 --> 00:38:49.519
I thought have a grocery store too
good, good, good good.

472
00:38:49.599 --> 00:38:52.880
I had dressing room that came into
my head for some reason. Okay,

473
00:38:52.880 --> 00:38:59.159
yes, okay, let me see
here. Did we do you? I

474
00:38:59.159 --> 00:39:01.320
think we lost the order. I
know we did. We did do you?

475
00:39:01.320 --> 00:39:04.519
You're next? Okay, No,
he's looking for one for me.

476
00:39:04.760 --> 00:39:15.039
Okay, Okay, we are going
to do this one. Okay. Places

477
00:39:15.159 --> 00:39:21.159
you wish you could wear pajamas?
Uh, the grocery store, work and

478
00:39:21.920 --> 00:39:25.599
dinner out. I didn't see it, so you get it. I know,

479
00:39:27.280 --> 00:39:30.599
yeah, I get it. You
want to keep going? Yes,

480
00:39:30.639 --> 00:39:39.760
okay, Eric, Eric, name
three things that are no good dry dick,

481
00:39:40.320 --> 00:39:45.360
fingers and a tongue. I thought
you were going to say, like

482
00:39:45.519 --> 00:39:51.320
badge or something. Okay, that
was that was so far off my radar.

483
00:39:52.519 --> 00:39:59.880
Okay, Brian, name three phallic
shaped things A penis sometimes sticks,

484
00:40:00.039 --> 00:40:06.960
and all right, I'll go to
genus is shaped just like a paullus.

485
00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:13.280
I realized that one day, even
get that. I shouldn't the rules against

486
00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:20.639
that? Okay, go Laura ca
Yes, reasons you puke? Oh my

487
00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:24.400
god, you're thinking about before you
You drank too much, you ate too

488
00:40:24.440 --> 00:40:29.719
much, you have the flu.
Okay, Okay, there we go,

489
00:40:29.800 --> 00:40:36.599
Thank you, welcome. Eric named
three things you pay for by the hour,

490
00:40:37.280 --> 00:40:43.360
hookers, parking, and movies.
That's what you pay for movies by

491
00:40:43.400 --> 00:40:49.159
the hour. You do? Oh
okay, I can't relate, so either.

492
00:40:49.760 --> 00:40:58.039
Just Brian, name three sexual positions. Go really really, I'm going

493
00:40:58.079 --> 00:41:02.519
to pleat the fifth on that.
All right again? Matrimony, matrimonial,

494
00:41:02.559 --> 00:41:07.199
the chicken and donkey, the flying
squirrel in the koala. You don't get

495
00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:09.199
that one. I don't know why
you're not. Wait, don't I have

496
00:41:09.280 --> 00:41:12.079
to do it? I bet no, I bet if you look at the

497
00:41:12.119 --> 00:41:15.079
commas suture, I bet those were
all in there. Okay. They have

498
00:41:15.159 --> 00:41:20.079
like the craziest names, like the
h the monkey squatting football magicians. All

499
00:41:20.159 --> 00:41:21.800
right, Eric, you give it
a shot. Wait, what was the

500
00:41:21.880 --> 00:41:25.880
question again. Uh places, Wait
it is the position sexual positions named three

501
00:41:25.880 --> 00:41:31.320
sexual positions go reverse, cow girl, Doggie style and missionary. Good.

502
00:41:31.599 --> 00:41:37.079
Okay, wait, where's the card? Were here? You get the card?

503
00:41:37.480 --> 00:41:42.400
The crotch card? Okay, okay, or unless you have you should

504
00:41:42.440 --> 00:41:45.199
have answered that. I don't even
know. I don't know what's happening right

505
00:41:45.199 --> 00:41:57.480
now. Are people you never want
to see naked? Trump? But you

506
00:41:57.519 --> 00:42:01.679
know what though I would want to
is do you naked? I just that

507
00:42:01.760 --> 00:42:05.800
would make me tormy. Daniel's got
a lot of money to see him naked.

508
00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:08.000
I want to see I pretty much
would want to see anybody naked?

509
00:42:08.440 --> 00:42:13.280
Why not? Why not? You
know what, I'm going to give it

510
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:19.519
to you. She got one that
was good enough for me. God,

511
00:42:20.079 --> 00:42:24.079
all right, it's totally fell apart. All right? Are we done?

512
00:42:24.119 --> 00:42:30.039
Oh? Wait? Brian? Ok
things you don't want to hear your doctor

513
00:42:30.119 --> 00:42:35.760
say you have cancer, you have
an infection disease. We're naming a new

514
00:42:35.800 --> 00:42:38.639
disease after you. You're pregnant.
I would never want to hear that.

515
00:42:38.719 --> 00:42:43.360
Well, you'll never hear that.
Lets count up your cards and then I'll

516
00:42:43.400 --> 00:42:45.920
count up Brian's cards. I think
Brian is the clear winner here, but

517
00:42:45.440 --> 00:42:49.159
I don't think we get we held
any cards back from anybody. I know.

518
00:42:49.199 --> 00:42:51.360
I don't think so. The other
one call it three way time,

519
00:42:51.400 --> 00:42:55.599
all right, we'll call it a
three way anyway. You guys just follow

520
00:42:55.639 --> 00:42:59.440
our instructions on Laura Cane after Dark. They're right there. How you can

521
00:42:59.480 --> 00:43:02.440
get tickets to suit our big party, which is on May twenty fourth at

522
00:43:02.519 --> 00:43:07.239
Viejas Casino and Resorts. It's on
May twenty fourth, Friday. We're going

523
00:43:07.320 --> 00:43:12.320
to be seeing the band George Michael
Reborn, and before that we'll be giving

524
00:43:12.360 --> 00:43:15.000
away some prizes and we're just going
to celebrate Brian's two years with the show.

525
00:43:15.119 --> 00:43:19.000
And it just happens to fall on
my actual birthday. It's going to

526
00:43:19.079 --> 00:43:22.360
be a blast. Seventh seen so
fun Ken, I didn't count. You

527
00:43:22.400 --> 00:43:28.239
have seven Brian clear I think Brian
clearly one one, two, three,

528
00:43:28.480 --> 00:43:31.639
four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven,

529
00:43:31.800 --> 00:43:36.559
twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen,

530
00:43:36.719 --> 00:43:40.039
nineteenth. Yeah, Brian wins.
Brian wins gradually, thank you. I'll

531
00:43:40.079 --> 00:43:43.880
be here until next week. How
to get the tickets? Just got a

532
00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:46.920
Laura Kane after dark dot com.
You'll see how and then we will email

533
00:43:46.960 --> 00:43:50.679
you a pair of tickets if you
win. All right, thank you so

534
00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:52.119
much for watching, and thank you
so much for listening. We love you,

535
00:43:52.159 --> 00:43:54.679
guys, We love you. We'll
wait to party with you. Love

536
00:43:54.719 --> 00:43:59.159
your podcast, Love your podcast.
I love you, my sweet babies,

537
00:43:59.199 --> 00:44:07.280
I love you, Love you too. Thank you for my president. Oh

538
00:44:07.400 --> 00:44:12.400
my god. Fine, you can
turn this off. Mammy, mam ma,