Hello, and welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. Thank you so much for
tuning in on YouTube or anywhere else that you listen. We appreciate it.
I'm Laura Kane. Oh my god, you look so fetching today. Thank
you. You're welcome. This is my co host, Eric Grimmer, my
bff, my bff. We're number two, number two. I'm your number
two and now you're my number two. Do you how does it feel what
to be number two? Does it feel great? I'm good? Are you
okay with it? Sure, I've learned, I've accepted it, but it
didn't feel good at first. Well, it's really not going to feel good
when you find out that you're number three. Oh god, Karen, I'm
gonna I'm to get her. I'm going to cut her, you know.
And after I had lunch with at Claya. Oh Claire, don't you steal
clear from me? Already already taken. He's a friendstealer, he is he
already he charms the pants off people and then they become his friends and not
my friends. Anyway. Hello, welcome to the show. And guess what,
Brian, Oh my god, I was just about to mention, you
know. Eric gave me such good news. I'm actually in a bad mood
now, so that's wait, he gave you such good news that you're in
a bad mood now, No, that makes no sense. You know exactly
what I mean. I know what you mean. We'll get to this in
a minute. This is a good segue. Yes, he's whatever. But
I was gonna say, Brian producer, Brian will be with the show or
like in a matter of days, with us for two years. You've been
with us for two years, putting up about antics for time. I have
milk to this show. I have two years and he hasn't told you yet.
Well, no, he's what does he He's received some pretty damn cool
days. I have milked this show. He's gotten some courts out of gold
mine. Yeah. Anyway, we are celebrating Brian's to your anniversary, and
it just so happens to be on my actual birthday birthday, May twenty fourth,
v a house resort and casino at the George Michael We'reborn Concert. Wait,
thank you, Happy birthday. It's gonna be an absolute blast. Now
if you want to go, we have twenty five pair of free tickets for
you. And this is what you need to do. It's super easy.
We're not going to make you jump through too many hoops. You just have
to follow us on Instagram, follow us on TikTok Laura Kan after Dark Everywhere,
Subscribe to us on YouTube Laura Kan after Dark. That's free. Tag
a comment on one of our posts and tag a friend and then give us
lap chances. And if you go to our website there will be buttons with
links to all those places. Yes, so, oh, thank you,
Brian. Yes so, Brian making it super easy for you. So the
first twenty five people will get those tickets, and if you don't get tickets,
come out anyway. We're gonna celebrate. We're gonna have things to give
away. Doors open at six for us US meeting us, our podcast family,
meaning you guys too, and then the actual doors for the common people
open at seven for the commoners, and then the show begins at eight,
which is great. It's gonna be just a blaster to celebrate all around.
Okay, real quick, can I just tell the story about what happened before
we started quiet? So Eric has been teasing that he has both a gift
for me and Laura big time. Yeah, Laura's is apparently going to make
her scream. God, I hope it's not your mind. He says,
you may wait your pasts. He says he's never he's never spent this much
money on me before. Ever. We got you a stripper. What I
know, I can't imagine what there's really I can't imagine what it is.
I don't know what. That's why my problem because Eric supposedly he has a
gift so good. People will literally steal it if it's taken out in public
and it's a gift from Keanu Reed again, so I'm lost track, but
he describes He's like, he's like, you will wet and ship in your
pants. It's so good. Just wait to see it. People will steal
it. He's like, we can't do it at the party, otherwise people
might steal it. He says that about my gift too. So we'll do
it. When are we going to do the next week? We're doing it
next week. We're going to do it next week. We have to do
it next week. We'll do it next week. Anticipations too much, Now,
Okay, we'll do it next Thursday. Because we have Michael Brown on
on Michael Brown's coming on what if what if we don't reveal it until the
party? No, never mind, I don't know how we make that work.
That'd be kind of funny, though. No, I want I want
it to happen next week. I can't wait now, I can't wait,
and you can't wait. No, I want us to do it next week.
I want us not tell anybody until the party. I know, but
I don't know. I don't think. So what I can do is let's
talk this out. I will between shows give you your gifts, so not
on the actual air, on the video podcast YouTube okay, and then we
can talk about it on Thursday show and I will take a picture of you
guys holding what I got you, and then we'll reveal it at ye hus
Okay. One last question. Can both of the items, the item for
me and Forlora both fit in your bag? No? Which item that was
either? One? Oh God? Will you be walking through the door with
by yourself with something under your arts? Like? Is it is it heavy?
I hate him? I hate him so much. It could be it
could be heavy. I don't know. This is it's making me angry talk
about it like it's like I'm so excited. I'm angry. Mister predicto.
Are we gonna love the presence that Eric brings us? It's gonna be a
one time it says, no, doubtful. So he's building it up.
I'm not excited. I'm not excited anymore. Oh no, this don't know
the way he's talking about. Okay, let me let me okay, Okay.
What you're probably not gonna like it is that sarcastic. You're just saying
that just to now not be all yeah, open them and be like I've
seen better. No. I signed by Keanu Reeves. I've got a couple
of these. This is an impressive Yeah. I know right, You're like,
oh great, now I have to get another frame. Yeah. My
favorite thing is that is that me and Laura are the usually the ones that
odds that stuff, and this is the one thing where we are absolutely the
same, are totally on the same side with this one. Yeah, it's
big time. Okay, I have something to reveal to you real quick what
you should and talk about some I was gonna say that I was. I
have something big. I know, I know, I know. Oh okay,
before we play, Okay, I have something for you to read.
Jay Wartzler sent this to me. Oh no, and Jay wants me to
read it. I want you to read it. Okay, he sent it
to me. He didn't say he wants you to read it, but I
thought I'm going to have Eric read it. Oh great. He loves jokes
like you like jokes. Okay. And so before we play Jay Wartzler's Capital
Growth, Inc. Commercial and the La Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center Commercial, I
would like you to read the first paragraph. Okay, just just right here.
Yeah. One sock cutter he cuts socks. Two sock cutters, they
cut socks. Four soft cutters they cut socks. Say it faster. One
sock cutter he cut socks. To suck cutter. Two sock cutters they cut
socks. Four sock cutters they cut socks. Okay, okay, now,
okay, then do this one one smart fellow he felt smart. Two smart
fellows they felt smart, Three smart fellows they all felt smart. Okay,
this doesn't work. Can you do that? One smart fella he felt smart
fellas they felt smart, Three smart fellas, they all felt smart. One
smart pilla do smelt fort What about one sock cutter he cut socks, two
cocksutters, one cocksucker he suck cocks. Any read that? Why have to
be so good at this? He's yeah, he's never been tripped up by
those. He never has a couple of times. Anyway, I have something
major to reveal to you after Laoya Cosmetic Surgery Center j Wurstler's caval growth ink.
Laoya Cosmetic Surgery Center, can you please surgically No, this hasn't really
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Okay, Okay, So this birthday of mine, it's not like anything
special. It's not like a it's not a huge number. It's not a
small but it's not sixty sixty five is still a big number. It's nothing
special. But I've decided that I'm just gonna celebrate my life and I'm just
gonna do fun things and they don't have to be expensive. And so I
okay, I've been wanting to do this thing. I think I've been thinking
about it for quite a while. And then I saw a post from a
woman and I got in touch with her. We started talking. She has
such an incredible story that she's coming on the podcast the twenty third of May,
the Monday, the twenty third. She's gonna tell she's from Russia.
She has like this really intense, cool, great story. But anyway,
that's what I'm about to show you. What I'm about to tell you,
I feel is a no win situation because no matter what, when you do
this thing, people are not gonna either like it or understand it. So
I just have to be prepared for that, and that's fine. It's for
me. My father when he before he passed, he always said he loved
bald eagles. One time we saw a bald eagle on a telephone pole outside
of our home. It was the most beautiful thing, and he took pictures
and videos of that thing. He loved bald eagles. He goes, when
I die, I'm going to be soaring the Rocky mountains. I'm going to
be a bald eagle. So I always thought. My dad died when he
was sixty suddenly, and he was my best friend and I could tell him
everything and anything. I loved my dad. He was the best dad ever
anyway, So I always thought, Okay, I'm going to get maybe someday
it's how two of an eagle, a bald eagle soaring in the sky.
Please tell me you have like the most patriotic American. So I'm about to
show it to you. A girl named Anastasia from Nothing Sacred Tattoo On University
did this for me. And then when when she was doing it, when
we were talking, I'm like, you have to come on the podcast and
she's going to offer like a really good deal like she has we have.
It's a win win, So you guys are going to really enjoy her.
She's a really thick accident. She was kind of nervous coming on. I'm
like, don't worry. I'll help you through it because she has a really
cool story to tell. All right, are you ready? No? Okay,
see here's here, Here we go, Here we go. He's gonna
say, I know, I know what he wants. If he brings killing
her killer gifts. He probably hated it, and that's fine. I don't
care. You know what I am accepting now, I'm showing everybody with the
high probability that people are going to not like it. I think you're hyping
up the bad part of it too much. I'm just I guess I'm just
trying to prepare myself. Okay, I have questions. Okay, but this
may where is this could this could potentially scar Brian a little bit? Oh
god, so just he is. I'm going to try to be as uh
as uh hm gentle with this is possible, Okay, if it's gonna scar
Brian? Does this mean it looks like an eagle flying into a cave?
Let me my underwear up? Here we go? Oh got taking her pants
off? I'm not taking my pants off. Ready, Okay, here we
go. Let me make sure that something is covered. Wow, I am
scarred. Well, it's just like bad. It's it's an eagle with the
sun in the background. He's flying up onto the sky and to my daddy
right there, and it's you know what. I love it And if you
could see it, amra close there it is. I don't think we can
do an I don't think we should know what. You know what in a
great spot because when you're in your eighties and you're on your back, it'll
be completely covered. No, no, I'll be getting my third boob job
by then I'll be eighty. There won't be enough jobs we'll be able to
fix it. Oh my god. But anyway, she did an incredible job,
just such a light hand. At first, I was like, okay,
she goes this is the one of the most sensitive areas of all.
I was like, oh no, And then it started and I was like
and then it was fine. You really do have a light hand. So
anyway, well, thank god it wasn't on your vagina. What now?
You really honestly thought you really really when I said I got a tattoo,
you honestly had thought that I would get it on my vagina, you know,
like eagle's nest. I could see, Oh my god, I could
see you doing something crazy like maybe here. But yeah, okay, you
know, like actually physically tattoos. You're she has been asked. Well,
we'll ask her this on the podcast, the different things that people have asked
her to tattoo. And you know how many dicks she's been asked to which
she will not? Yeah, I bet, I mean, whoa, that's
like torture. Can you imagine? I cannot. I would never ask do
I know? So anyway, there's that, and I love it and it
was one of my you do I hate it? No, it's good.
That's good, thank you, thank you, thank you. So I'm really
happy. It was really fun. And we'll talk to her on this.
Unfortunately no other man will ever see it. But I know we'll never get
that fun, I know. And what do we have to say? Now?
Remember what I told you? You're not getting any more tattoos. No,
I don't need anymore. I don't want anymore. Okay, wait,
let me ask you something unless yes, let's see. Okay, let's let's
see. Let me think about something. If by some horrific chance Eric were
no longer with us and I wanted to memorialize Eric on my body. What
would I get? I'm not going to get a chucky doll, don't tune
actually my lower bag. No, a little chucky doll will be awesome.
She memorializes her dad with a beautiful creature like an eagle, and I,
I think the f b FF number two. Get a chucky doll. I
think that's great. A murderous toddler great, I think perfect. God,
I get that one in color. There we go, so people would know
it's me. I think that's I think that's cool idea. I don't think
wow, Yeah, I don't think you as as before I die. I'm
saying that I don't think I should do it. Don't do anything to memorialize
myself on your body. Please, you should get a Wien your like like
a Wiener tattoo that looks like a like a crappy, like a drawing like
the once he draws every single host you. This is how you can memorialize
me. Do you want of my drawings to do it on your cheek?
Oh my god, that'd be amazing. Drop you imagine like a small dick,
like right right by your mouth, right here. Oh that'd be great.
Wait, we got to talk about what happened to you. Oh Jesus,
this is another phone call I received. I get many phones. I
get a lot of freaking phone calls from this one. He loves to talk
on the phone. I do, and he knows that I don't like it,
and he does this on purpose. But this was this He needed to
tell me whenever I make a complete fool out of myself in public, you
get the first phone that. I appreciate that because I need to hear about
that. So I went to lunch on Friday with our friend Claya and her
sister clayat Dollhouse doll Face Club, doll Face Club, and she have the
cutest doll face outfit on and a purse. It was she. I love
her and her sister. I know they're the best. And oh, we
had so much fun. So after lunch, I thought, I need to
run over to Marshall's because we went to Questo and just get some hand soap.
So I go over there, get the hand soap and then I use
a toothpaste called Luminis and online it's expensive, but they have it there at
Marshalls. Yeah, for like I don't know, five ninety nine or something,
okay, and it's like an all nath or natural teeth whitener and it
works great. So I thought, oh, maybe they'll have it. Sometimes
they do, sometimes they don't. So I'm walking through like that Health and
Beauty and the one mission Value, know how they have the like the shelving
that go with all the product on it that go, you know, and
then they have the end caps. So I'm wearing one of her sweatshirts,
black pants, and my big huge Carl Lagerfeld combat boots okay, oh boy,
because they play a part in this. So I turned the corner and
there's a cart in the aisle with a bunch of stuff in it. There's
a woman looking at one of the chaosks, and there's an employee putting stuff,
taking stuff out of boxes and putting them on the shelves. And there's
a narrow path between the cart and the shelves where the products are, and
I mean I can maneuver through just fine, right right right. Well,
I didn't think that my boots were so big, so as I tried to
go around the rubber heel caught on the on the shelf, on the bottom
part of it, and I start to go over, oh like I and
I'm trying to regain my composure and my steps and I just like it looked
like a newborn fawn, like I was tripping over myself. Is your life
flashing before your eyes? And my thought bubble was just drop what you're holding
and put your arms out. Yeah, you're knock your teeth out right.
So I did. And when I did it, I hit the end cap.
When I fell face down, my phone went flying. The product went
flying. I hit the end cap and it fell over what all ell the
entire thing was on it, like eyelashes and lip bombs and whatever else.
They were all over the floor on the front and the back. Oh,
like a whole shelf, an entire like five foot tall kiosk with product on
the little hangars. Did it make a big sound? It sounded like a
bomb went off, And so I screamed because it was so loud. So
all of a sudden, I hear people going, oh my god, are
you okay? And I'm so embarrassed and horrified, like and I'm I'm starting
to get up, and you know, a lady's handing me my phone and
the product and a pair of toenail clippers, and I'm like, well,
i don't know where these came from, but I'm trying to hang them on
a kiosk. And the employees like, sir, are you okay? Oh
my gosh, and I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. I wish we
could have the store video camera, Oh my god, video survey. And
so I stand up and because I'm all in black, I'm filthy dirty.
Oh yeah, the floors in there are no Oh my god, I'm I'm
just gray at this point. So I'm like, no, I'm fine,
and I turn and looked at I've got my phone, I've got the product.
I turn and look and there must have been about twenty people like running
over the look because you could have heard that thing oh through the whole store.
Oh like, it was so loud. So I just paid for my
product and left. I would have just left the product champed out. It
was almost well that's crazy, the music, Yeah, it was. It
was. I mean, I was just like, oh, well, the
line's not long. You needed that Luminix toothpaste. Oh, it wasn't even
there. It wasn't even there some other thing, and if it was,
it was probably three asles over. After that whole Kiosk fell over, I
was like, I'm not no, oh, Brian, what's up with you?
Okay. Over the weekend I went to hold On, I know,
so I completely forgot about this. So, you know, she's like,
are you okay? Are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, yeah,
I'm fine. So I stopped by Trader Joe's, go you know,
go home, get out of my car. Animal. I get in the
house and I'm like, oh, I don't even want to look. I
pull my pants down and look in the mirror and I have road rash from
my right hip. So is that what that was a picture you sent me?
Yes, going all the way down to my right knee. It's like
big gashes and all this red. Like thank god, grab it didn't break
his hip, thank god. And then I've got like a big old thing
there. I'm like, oh my god, thank god, Clay. She
would have been like, who yeah, I or not know this version?
Yeah after dark? What anyway? Okay. So over the weekend I went
to the radio shell oh yeah, down because they were doing a performance of
Rare's The Lost Arc with a live orchards. Oh yeah, that was really
cool. I saw that two years ago and it was amazing what they showed
the movie with a live So they have the movie playing on like three big
screens and then they have the orchestra playing the music accompaniment throughout the entire movie
and they take an intermission. It is pretty, it's pretty cool. It's
really cool. Like it's kind of hard to like. There are definitely parts
of it that don't sound as good because they don't have any like live mixing
they do in post production. But there's something to be said about it,
like it is, it's pretty, it's pretty cool. It is it's really
cool. It's really neat. And I ended up buying I thought I just
got this, you know, good seats. I end up buying actually a
private table accident. Oh did you we got well, there was like two
other people there, but we got a table where we could have ordered food,
but we did because it was very expensive. What kind of levels are
I mean, what kind of level of seats can you get? I've never
been to the Rady Shell. You have to do that's nice. So they
have the lawn which can bring chairs for I don't remember how much liss you
can bring chairs, like you have to bring chair they are like seventy five.
I doubt they're that much because my ticket was only like our tickets are
like one hundred and fifteen per seeds, so I don't think there's I bet
they're like fifty to sixty. So we have a lawn seat. It's lawn
where you can bring your own chair, and so they have that ticket.
And then there are rows they're like the rows like typical seating. I don't
know much those are, and those are pretty those are fairly close, they're
all right. And then we are in the like the first row of private
tables, and those are pretty nice and they're pretty spacious and like you know,
you could you can order food and stuff, and it's pretty close to
the actual shell too. And then they have like the expensive ones or like
the like what they call the orchestra pit seating even though it's not by the
orchestra, but that's like right up to the front, and that is private
tables too, So I don't know how much those I think those were like
two hundred pieces because I think ours were like one fifteen to one fifty a
piece. Does the Rady Shell go all year Do they have a season?
Uh? Oh? Actually it was pretty cold down there though. Yeah,
and it gets cold because it was red on the water. Yet it was
only sixty three, but the windshill was pretty rough. So I don't think
it's open all year round. I think it's just a certain season that they're
open open. Yeah, it's really cool. I'm sure they're not open to
December, but yeah, it was. It was really cool though. You
know, obviously a huge Indiana Jones fan, so that was fun. If
I you know, if I could choose next what signs, it would definitely
be a Harrison Ford It may be a Temple of Doom poster signed. So
how old is Harrison Ford right now? Seventy? No, he's older than
that, he's eighty. You about getwork, get on that. I already
have myself a note. Did you really note about it? See? Well,
so I have all the Indiana Jones posters obviously. My favorite one though
is actually the he's eighty one. Wow, he looks great? He does.
Yeah, you didn't really prefer that last movie that, I mean,
the Last Destiny. I did not care for it. No, I do
not want its poster. The poster is all right, but I don't want
it because I don't like the movie. Oh okay, no, but you
might just have to take what you get. That's fair, that's totally fair.
I'll take it. I don't want it. If it's not. If
it's that poster, you can send it back to my I saw a very
good movie the other night. Oh yeah, Civil War. Okay, I
haven't seen it. I heard about it on Netflix or no, I rented
it. It was good, okay, I think it was on Amazon Brain.
There's something coming up called Black Rabbit with Jason Bateman and somebody else cool,
and it's on Netflix and I don't know when it comes out. I
just saw a commercial for it, and I'm like, this be good.
I didn't see like the actual teaser, but I just saw like a picture.
I'm like, whatever Jason Bateman is in watching, I am watching.
But I watched the Table Vision series. Yeah, oh it is what It's
on a channel? No, it's a Netflix okay. Jason Babman and Jude
Law the star in new limited series Black Rabbit. Jude Law. Jude Law
like him. I like him. And it doesn't give you really much of
anything else, does it? I just know. Oh, Jason baby Nelson
directs it too. Oh, this is gonna be good. I saw Baby
Reindeer again, the whole entire thing with Evan and her friend. We binged
it again and I got the fact that that is a true story. Is
mine boggling. And now she's coming out the wantings. No what she saying.
She's saying that she was misrepresented. Oh yeah, well they say,
you know, to cover his tracks. They say semi autobiographical. Right,
three things okay, and it's all regarding my songstresses. Oh boy, Madonna,
Yes, new record. She did two nights ago. Her final Celebration
tour concert was in Rio de Janeiro one. It was free. Almost two
million people attended it. Now that must have made her feel so good.
It looked I watched it on YouTube. That is two million people must be
insane. But here's a thing what I would have never And I've been to
every Madonna concert that she's ever done. I'm a huge Madonna fan. The
price of those tic sis time we're so outrageous. You watch that thing on
YouTube, it's like you have a front row seat. It's all filmed,
it's professionally done. It's not on somebody's eye, and it was incredible.
All right, how much is the cheapest ticket? When is it coming?
When she comes down? Oh, she's done. Oh this was the last
I was going to go to LA to see her. Yeah, and the
nosebleed seats were like five hundred bucks apiece. That's same with like insane.
Yeah. So I was like, no, sorry, I mean justify that,
and I mean I'm never that far away to see her. And I
was like, no way, I would never pay that much and said that
full. Let's once you get through with like the fees too, it's like
six hundred and fifty. Yeah, because I went, me and my my
girlfriend got tickets to kg el Fant when they come to San Diego in July,
and I think our tickets were like one hundred and ten each and end
up costing like three hundred and fifty bucks. I'm like, dude, that's
crazy, Yeah, it's nuts. I look to see if there were any
justin Timberlake tickets left. He's he's here May fourteenth, and it sold out,
but there were like spotty ones. There was one the very top,
tippy tippy top last nose, but three hundred and eighty five. That was
ridiculous. What I mean it was one of the best shows I've ever seen.
His first the first time I saw him, I was like blown away.
I loved it. In two thousand and six, I loved it.
Then I saw it again in twenty sixteen. Still great. I can't stand
his face. Well, isn't that a mean thing to say? Okay,
how dare you say about my justin? I won't. I won't go into
just Timberlake. I hated his last album. It was awful. What was
his last movie? I actually don't know. It was last I'm thinking of
in time? Was his last one? Was? No? The last one
that he did was really good? No, it was really good. Which
one? Well, there was one called Parker that was really good. I
think it was called Parker. And then he just did one with what's her
name? I'll look it up. Okay, But three of my songstresses have
new music out. Oh god, I wit she's a songstress? Now,
Yes, I did you hear it? Yes? I bought both of them.
Okay, what's thee A song called I Love It's we saw Sea together?
We didn't. It was the worst concert I've ever seen. Wait,
what I think is her only good song. Oh no, I love her.
But remember she never came on stage. She just stood in the back.
That was like fantastic. She sat in the she stood it. She
stood in the corner and sang while she had all of her dancers, and
like it was so weird. Wait, don't play I can't play it well.
And my Kate Hudson, Oh Kate, she has a good voice.
But now she's a pop star. What's a song called it's don't play?
Don't play it. I'm gonna find out. Okay, I gonna find out.
And it's good, it's great. Which of the three is your favorite?
Probably do a lipa? Okay, yea lipa is really hot? All
right, I'm going to finally end with this. Now, apparently where jen
X your gen z uh Yeah? I think I missed a call for Millennial
by like six issues. Okay, here are things that we're not supposed to
say anymore, that you guys now say, and so we have to now
these are outdated terms, and these are the new terms. You can't say
them. No, we are supposed to now say these because you guys say
these. Okay, here instead of yolo, you only live once, Yolo
is that what that means? We don't say that anymore. You never knew
that, No, you only live one. I just recently found out what
goat meant. I did not know what greatest of all time? Yeah,
no, one really uses it as the all times Since you see on that
like the roast of Tom Brady, no, I need to see that.
You better be ready for your ears to fall off. Why, well,
all the roasts are amazing filthy it is. Didn't get mad at someone I
would wouldn't be surprised so mean, I wouldn't. Who would he be the
maddest at? Oh my, I couldn't even tell. You couldn't who was
the meanest everybody? Yeah, the roast I will say, like the roast
of Rob Lowe, and I think they did Eli Manning or some of the
funniest things I've ever seen. The one are so funny. But they were
mean. I mean, they are mean like I would. Did you guys
remember Comedy Central and that was that was where edited those were good. I
remember that they had a man culture on one. I don't know why.
That was the roast of Pamela Anderson or something, but they had culture and
they were so like I mean and culture is a little controversial. They were
so mean to her. I was like, it was hilarious. So is
this something that you would say watch it? Yes, okay, I mean
I didn't even really know what sports he played. Roasts are funny, for
real. Here was one of the things. So I think it was Elizas
Schlicinger. Do you know who she is? Her name? She's hilarious.
And she said, what's his name? Tom Brady? Oh, Tom Brady?
She said, you have h five rings or six rings? And she
goes seven, including the one that was given back to you by your ex
wife. That's not that's great. That was probably one of the only things
I could say that that I could repeat. They had one because the last
one they had, the last Comedy Central one they had. They had Pete
Davison up there, and dude, he was a monster. He was so
he was he was roasting, he was help roasting. He wasn't the roasted
one. Well, even the roasted one makes roast for everyone else. So,
I mean, they're all in good fun, but sometimes they are like
I would be like, I don't know how that could be in good fun.
It's so mean. Oh my god, it was okay, I gotta
watch that. I gotta watch that. I mean, okay, so don't
no more, yolo. You only live once. Now it's d I f
t P. Do it for the plot? No, do it for the
what plot? Like, you're the main character of your life, so sometimes
don't avoid things. Do it for the plot? Right, But you don't
say dift tip f TP you know, how do you? How do you
say dift tip? No? You don't. You just say do it for
the plot? You I've never will never it's never never else. That's not
that common though, that that's kind of I will never be able to even
remember that. Now. I respond with this a lot. You're not supposed
to say, hey, Laura, meet me at the park at eight o'clock
KK, like I instead of okay, I put KK? What is K?
It's like, okay, you'll still use that. Why don't you just
say okay, just like it's cute? Kk KK is fucking stupid. People
still use KK. It's fine anyway, You're not supposed to use that.
Anything that's ridiculous sucks. People still say K. It's instead you're supposed to
say bet, no, that's old. Now what it is? It's like
like you bet, like you bet? Kind of is everybody that lazy that
they can't put you in front? I would not know what somebody was talking
for you. You're like you responding what word? You guys? You guys
are the worst. No, bet is not like a okay, you bet
like it's kind of more like you bet. You are like respond I say
okay, not KK, that's fine. KK is stupid, but it's still
acceptable. That is kind of old. Now, oh my god, this
is annoying. I'm sure I've responded to you with a case instead of rolling
on the floor laughing for a while. Instead, just send a skull emoji
like it's so funny. You just die, or you can say I'm dead.
Yeah, and you do you spell it d E ED? No,
I say a D. I mean I don't okay, I don't use all.
I don't even know you find the skull emoji? I know because you're
forty five, like you're in a twenty four year speak the language. But
ed is stupid. You just say okay, don't shorten great the word great
by saying g R and then the and then the number. Say that slaps?
Why is there everything getting longer? Like I would just say great,
no, just say it slaps, say it slaps. I'm not and say,
oh my god. The only thing I want to slap is you for
reading this. You're gonna angry. God, this is stupid. If you
have like if if you have an amazing talk, I might say this ship
slaps, this is fire, like that's that is that is your fire's out?
No, it's not heard. This is fire according to this list.
Now lit is back in. Uh what fires not out? Let's not I
thought list somebody was getting high. No lit, that is so lit like
that is so cool. ITT's old. I wouldn't say, no, Lit's
coming back. It's not my god, it not. I am part of
this generation. Your a little piece of paper means nothing to be compiled by
people your age. Oh okay. Instead of saying like you just dissed me
right now, clap back. Yeah, I guess a little bit. It's
kind of old. Don't diss me, you don't clap back. You just
that was a bad clap back. I don't even know how to use it.
I would say, like, let's saying like I'm talking about celebrity beef.
You say, oh, Madonna talked crap about you know, uh Taylor
Swift, but she clapped back and was, Okay, I see, don't
think call things gross gross gross? Fine, no, you call them ick.
No, it is no, it is for behavior because if someone does
something that you don't like, that kind of like you ever seen someone do
something, especially like some of the the sex you're attracted to, and you're
like, ooh, I don't like that and you lose all like attraction for
them. That's ick. That's the ick. That's the ick. Okay,
like, oh, that person gave me the ick when they did, you
know, X, Y or Z. Never say give me the four one
one. No one under forty knows what that number even is what it was
for. Blah blah blah blah. I don't even hear people over forty say
that. I know. Instead you say what's the tea or spill the tea?
That's that's for gossip though, yeah, that is for cossip. But
that was also give me the four one one because that was for information.
You dial that for actual information back in the day and when we were young,
when we were so so long ago. It's so many moves. And
finally, do not call people crazy people cray, Yeah, I agree's gray
Cray. They are now de Lulu. No, yes, no, my
god, no for delusional. Yeah, both those things are out. We
don't say I will never say that. US kids don't say de Lulu.
That's stupid. That is just in twenty twenty four. No, you're Delulu.
No, you're not termed. De Lulu makes me want to I think
psycho is still probably more. I do not want those No, I want
you to rip it up. You can rip it up. Oh thank god,
yeah, I rip it up. I would just say they're crazy,
they're insane, their psycho. No, I like that one. You don't.
I shouldn't stop. I need to go home and take a silk wood
shower. Oh that was just a simple, so annoying, Liz. Now
you know how I feel that I'm trying to figure out this can someone like
three months, if someone came up to me and use one of those terms,
I would probably resort to my old self and punch them in the face.
Oh, Bessie, now see then they clap back, Yeah, oh
good one. And I and you would say this ship don't slap and I'd
be like, that's so lit. Oh god, oh he's about to fund
Oh God, he's gonnaunch me for real right now, I'm gonna return her
present. If you want tickets to our big party celebration on May twenty fourth,
Friday via Huse Casino Resorting Casino, a concert George Michael Reborn and a
party, go to Lourcane after Dark dot com get all the details how you
can win your tickets and we have fun things do too, And please don't
touch my book. You're like touching bear. They're actually bear boobs covered by
like a sticker. Oh, these are bare boobs you're touching right now,
not even my bra. You're like groping. Sorry, guess who's straight?
Now? Hey, baby, want to get it? Actually felt good?
That hasn't happened in a while. Thing, okay, Jesus. Laura's like,
wow, I love getting fueled by gay man. I just realized it's
great. I love it. I love it all right? Please all right?
Love your podcast? Just say it, Eric, just you, Oh
my god, Brian, top of your podcast? What do you want me
to hear the man? I love you, my sweet babies. I'm sorry,
Mama does this for a living well? No, you're not you're not.
No, you're lit