And cancel, Higg, cancelge Honor. It's not Sorrylogy. What's up?
Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing this episode,
you are meant to be here, So keep listening on that Bitch's Positive Podcast.
Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, baby Girl, we're gonna cry,
but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered positive bitch self.
That is Babe in true connection with herself. On this podcast, we unbecome
who we are not so we can fully step into exactly who we came here
to be. A couple of things about today's episode. Number one, Happy
Thanksgiving, Happy Holidays. Hello, Hello, Hello Number two. You can
probably hear this, but I do have a bit of a cold going on
right now, so if you hear me sniffling, it's because I am,
in fact sniffling. But I did not want Thanksgiving week to go by without
a podcast because I know when the holiday season is here, a lot of
us experience high tension and anxiety, and I needed to give you my five
step guide for five things mentally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually strong people do.
And that's why I am here today. When I was going through my
spiritual awakening. I believe I'm still on this journey and there's so many different
levels to it. But I really relied on key figures to post religiously for
me to feel grounded when I was learning all these different concepts. So I
really strive to be that grind for you if you so need so. Yes,
we're gonna be talking. Yes, I have a bit of a cold.
And if you're watching on YouTube, yeah, my tongue does look orange
because I had a vitamin see this morning and it turned my tongue orange.
Anyway, we're gonna be talking about how to keep our emotions in check.
I've just noticed that when you externalize a lot of your emotions, people tend
to not take you as seriously or your message gets lost in your emotions.
And when we're dealing with family members, we're dealing with even coworkers. If
you have a point you want to express, how someone's hurting you, how
someone has offended you, whatever it may be, you need to keep your
emotions in check so that your message actually gets through. Imagine someone was reading
a dialogue to you and they just kept crying through it. You wouldn't be
able to extract the message they were trying to read. Think about a commercial
that's advertising something. If all the actors we're hysterically crying through the whole thing
and couldn't develop their thoughts properly, we wouldn't be able to understand what they're
even selling. In order to get your point of across, you need to
have some sort of composure. This doesn't mean you ignore your emotions. You
push your emotions down. No, and that's what people get confused with.
And that's why we're going to talk about this today. How can we be
aligned with our emotions? How can we understand ourselves and communicate what it is
we want and need. Before we get into five things that strong people do,
I do want to remind you that for this week only, it ends
Sunday, I'm having a Black Friday sale the whole entire week for all of
my one on one coaching programs. If you've been thinking about getting started changing
your life, if you want to quantum leap, you want to activate your
divine feminine energy, you want to heal your attachment system, whatever it may
be, you can DM me now on Instagram at vibein with CC. The
link will be in the show notes. But that is VBI N with CII
CII to find out about these sale prices. Get this sale while you can.
I have a limited amount of availability. I will be getting to all
the dms by the end of this week, and it does end Sunday.
This is my only sale the whole entire year, So take advantage of it
because and you're gonna have to wait till next year if you want these sale
prices. Okay, because I am a little bit under the weather and I
have a lot to say today, let's just get into today's episode right now.
Five things mentally strong people do. The first thing is mentally strong people
understand that our emotion are meant to be used, they aren't meant to use
us. As someone who's extremely emotional, Hello, I have a cancer moon.
Okay, I feel a lot. I'll be watching a show and I'm
hysterically crying. I started to watch squid Games, the challenge where it's real
people competing for a prize of four million dollars, actually more than that,
and I am hysterically crying watching the whole thing because these people are feeling such
real emotion. I'm constantly feeling a lot of emotions, constantly wanting to externalize
a lot of my emotions. But what I've found throughout my life is that's
beautiful. That's amazing, that's sensitivity. That's your superpower. But when you
want to get your point across, when you want to just sit down and
have a civil dinner, if your emotions are controlling you and you're not controlling
your emotions, you don't get to win. Suddenly you're a on your emotion's
leash rather than being on your own pedestal. Let's understand what our emotions are
actually. For our emotions, they're very important. They're not meant to be
shut down. They're not meant to be ignored. Our emotions are our navigation
system for planet Earth. They tell us when something is okay or something is
crossing our boundary. They tell us when something is aligned with us we feel
good, or they tell us when something is not aligned with us and we
feel bad. They tell us when someone is our friend because we feel really
good around them, versus a friend who's verbally abusive to us will feel bad
abround them. Our emotions are there to help us understand what is in alignment
with us. Our emotions communicate to us what feels good to tell us get
more of this, versus what feels bad and that tells us do less of
this. Our emotions are like the past on a plane. If a stewardess
was walking down the aisle and a passenger said, can I have a drink
of water? The stewardess would listen to the passenger and say, sure,
I'll go get that for you. However, if a passenger said, actually,
you need to fly the plane this way, the stewardess would be like,
well, that's the pilot's job. Your emotions, they're meant to be
listened to. They're like the passenger, But your emotions are not the pilot
of your plane. You are the pilot of your own plane. So your
emotions, yes, they should be listened to. They are our navigation system,
but they are not the controller. They're not the dictator, they are
not the pilot. Understanding your emotions placed in your life can help you work
with them, rather than your emotions just completely controlling you. We should be
in control of our emotions, not our emotions being in control of us.
But again this doesn't mean we ignore them. So when you're sitting at the
Thanksgiving dinner table and you're starting to feel annoyed because uncle Gary keeps saying something
that you disagree with. Politically, this isn't for you to sit up and
throw your I always think I can't help it. I always think of Teresa
from The New Jersey Housewives when she flips the table. This is not a
moment for us to stand up and flip the table at uncle Gary and be
like, you're wrong, I'm gonna take you down. That's okay. No,
we're supposed to listen to our emotions. Oh, I don't agree with
this. This doesn't align with me politically or emotionally. I don't want this
to be a part of my story. That doesn't mean we flip the table.
I could feel like, I don't know, punching someone in the face.
That doesn't mean I should punch them in the face. It's a feeling,
it's an emotion. The emotion is trying to tell me something. It
might be trying to tell me this person is crossing your boundaries. This person
is saying something you don't agree with. There's something about you that's really about
justice, and this person seems to be lacking compassion for justice. So how
can we start to gain control over our emotions, question them, interview them
instead of just blindly listening to them and being terresa and flipping the table.
But I will say that was an amazing moment of reality television. I can't
knock it, but I will say, let's learn from it. Let's learn
from it instead of flipping the table. Let's say, huh, uncle Gary
is really really triggering me right now? What could this be about? What
about what uncle Gary is saying is causing me to feel so angry? Journal
about it, feel about it. You can question it, but do not
let it control you. And let me just tell you why when you let
someone else control you like that, Suddenly you're placing Uncle Gary on your pedestal
and you're letting uncle Gary control you and your little emotions. Uncle Gary now
gets to win. Uncle Gary gets to poke at you, and you are
falling for it. That's not you being in control, you being the big
bad blah blah blah blah blah. That's not you being in control. That's
Uncle Gary controlling you and your emotions controlling you. That's what that is.
Step two here, point number two, I should say with Thanksgiving, any
holiday, really and I think a lot of us do this. We think
about past holiday events and we say, oh, uncle Gary, he's always
so outspoken and he's just so wrong about everything. And then we start thinking
about how uncle Gary, once again this year, is going to be outspoken
and wrong about everything. We think about our past holiday happenings and we think
about how all those people who annoy us are gonna annoy us again. Oh,
I have to see my annoying sibling. I have to see that terrible
uncle. Oh God, I have to be around my dad, who I
can't stand. We start saying these stories based on past experiences. I have
fallen prey to this so many times because it's so easy to do. We
think, well, what's the best predictor of future behavior past behavior? And
we start thinking, Oh, I gotta brace myself because it's gonna be terrible
and it's gonna be so unfortunate. Let's stop doing this, and let me
tell you why. When you think about your past experiences with holidays, even
with coworkers, when you start thinking about that, you start feeling about it.
What you do is repeatedly manifest the same circumstance. You have all these
sticky notes of how they're gonna act and how they are that you give into
your past. You repeatedly manifest your past instead of looking to how your present
might be different. You're not even living in your present anymore. You're living
in your past. You're thinking about how it's been for your whole entire life,
and you're grabbing energy from that, and you're vomiting it onto your present
moment. If you're manifesting from your past, you cannot possibly manifest a new
circumstance. If you're manifesting from your past, you're not living from your future.
If you're manifesting from your past, be prepared to continuously live in your
past. If you want to have a new circumstance, stop thinking about what
was and start thinking about what you want to experience. If you want a
new life, you can't keep plugging into your past. We have to give
thanksgiving or whatever circumstance you're experiencing, a new meaning. We need to open
up the possibility that there's room for new behavior, for new circumstance, for
a new experience. What I would have to do to myself every time I
caught myself complaining about my past, not wanting to go whatever it may be,
I would say to myself, well, that's how it was, but
my past doesn't just equal my future. I know I've changed as a person,
there's possibility that this person could have changed too. Instead of telling myself
that this future Thanksgiving, this current Thanksgiving is going to be like all the
other Thanksgivings, why don't I just say anything's possible. Why don't I just,
you know, stand on the side of possibility, stand on the side
of positive manifestation, and tell myself, what if this time it's different?
Instead of going into a circumstance with all these sticky notes in your mental library
of who this person is and how they act, what if we just questioned,
instead of getting furious, let's get curious. What if we just questioned,
if this time it's different? What if this time it's gonna be peaceful.
I'm not saying this person's gonna have a three sixty change and oh my
god, they're so different, blah blah blah. I'm not saying that.
I'm saying, what if this experience is just a little bit better? What
if Gary doesn't say that this time? What if Aunt Theresa isn't that way
this time? What if the sibling doesn't poke fun at you this time.
What if when you start to open yourself up to new possibility, Oh,
what starts to happen. There's biochemical changes in your body. Suddenly you go
from this fight and flight on edge two, we're going into our parasympathetic nervous
system. We begin to relax. We go from looking for a trigger to
I'm pretty chilled out right now. We go from looking for SOS triggers to
you know what, this turkey's kind of good. I'm enjoying the turkey.
It changes what you look for, what you find, and how you react.
If I look for new possibility, maybe I'll actually find uncle Gary kind
of funny this year, instead of me just sitting. Oh, he's so
annoying. He's so annoying. He's so annoying. You're not letting yourself open
up to new possibility. You're not letting yourself find any positivity in this dinner.
I'm not saying uncle Gary is a saint, but also you're not looking
for any happiness in this circumstance. Let's take accountability for what we can.
We can't control everyone, but we can control how we're gonna show up.
We can control our own emotions and keep them in check, so we can
have a better experience. Keeping your emotions in check and controlling them so they
don't control you. It's not about other people. I don't care about what
anyone else is doing. I care about you. Because you're listening to this.
How can we give you the best circumstance, the best ex experience,
the best unfolding. It's by you keeping yourself in check. That's what we're
gonna do. That's what we have to do. So we're gonna look for,
if not positive experience, at least neutrality of what could happen. Maybe
it's gonna be different this time. Maybe it's gonna be peaceful. Give the
circumstance a new meaning. So you stop repeatedly manifesting your past and you start
enjoying your present. So you stop looking for triggers, and you actually start
looking for happy moments instead of you being so clenched, so much tension in
your body, constantly scanning. You're actually gonna be able to digest your food.
You're actually gonna be able to enjoy other conversation because you're not just looking
for what pisces you off. I also feel like. Something that really helps
me. A new meaning I created is when someone is annoying me and it's
a family member, it helps me just remember that, you know what,
they obviously just didn't get enough of whatever they needed as a child. They
didn't get enough hugs or enough love or enough attention that they're acting out now.
Seeing the person who's annoying you as their child self is helpful for you
to just not have complete rage. Oh yeah, it's not about them.
It's not about you treating them any sort of different way. It's about you
grounding yourself. When you see Gary and he's like bad, bad bad ba,
but you then see him as his little inner child, his little child
self, and you realize, oh, he didn't get enough attention or hugs
or love. It humanizes them. It helps you understand. Okay, they're
being outspoken right now, not probably because they even believe this, but because
they just want attention and negative at tension is still attention at the end of
the day. Humanize them, not for them before you, so you don't
flip a table. Okay, number three I recently watched I don't know if
you know them. I just discovered them. They have like eleven billion subscribers,
so I'm probably late to this party. But there's this pair, Sam
and Colby, and they go through haunted experiences. I I don't recommend scaring
yourself, but they're the mystic within me, the God, the priestess within
me is just so in love with paranormal investigations. I just love it so
much, and they do it. They did do one thing I disagreed with.
They showed something that you're not meant to take a picture of, and
I didn't love that. But if you do watch it, just say before
you watch everything, every single part of their series, I don't claim any
negative energy from this video. Sam and Colby did this series where they went
into the Conjuring House and they did a paranormal investigation, and one of the
parts of the house that they really had a big emphasis on was this basement
level. And they're talking about how the entities in the basement are very different
than the entities on the top floors. The top floors are loving and it's
like child like entities or adult like entities, but they're helpful and loving and
it doesn't incite fear within people. However, the basement level is a little
bit different, and they were talking about how the entities in the basement are
like tricksters. They'll try to trick you or make you scared, and why
would these entities do this. They do this to feed off your fear.
What people don't realize is that your emotions are energy emotion, So whether you're
happy, sad, mad, glad, all those emotions are just energy.
And energy can be used to do something positive go for a run, or
energy can be used for something negative, like leaving hate comments on someone's video,
so energy can be used how you want. Emotions are energy, so
emotions can be used for how you want because they're just energy. And what
kind of sparked my brain for this episode was thinking about how, like Damp,
even after these souls have passed on to another dimension, they're still trying
to feed on your fear and your anger and your frustration. There are some
people who will feed on your emotions. Stop giving them that advantage. The
same way that entities who have crossed over over are feeding on your fear,
there are human beings who also will feed on your fear, your frustration,
and your sadness. So let's kind of untangle this a little bit if there
is someone in your family or someone at work who is blatantly a narcissist,
like you're just you're dumbfounded every time because you can't even understand them. If
that is the case, and I have to take a second here to say
that a narcissist is not someone who's confident. Okay, I think sometimes people
get confused. Self love is not selfish. Self love does not mean you're
a narcissist. A narcissist is not someone who actually loves themselves. A narcissist
is someone who has such deep hatred for themselves that they have to push down
other people and puff themselves up. So, okay, just disclaimer there.
If you have someone who is a narcissist or who just is living on a
completely different planet than you and there's no way you can meet them on any
sort of level, stop trying, because you can only meet someone as deep
as they have met themselves. And if you notice, this person is always
just poking at you, it's always trying to get you upset, it's always
trying to annoy you. It has nothing to do with you. They're trying
to extract your energy, your frustration, your sadness, some people are gonna
get off on that. I'm sorry, that's the truth, and I rather
you have the tools to face this than just be their little prey, because
that is not being in control of your own life. That again is pedestaling
them and letting them have control over you and them having control over your emotions.
If you have someone in your life that is like this, there's no
way of meeting them, there's no way of communicating to them, there's no
way of them understanding your point of view. Stop letting them get the best
of you. Stop allowing them to get you out of character, because they
are not worth you getting out of character. They are not worth you getting
into a miserable state. Misery loves company, so miserable people will try to
bring you down. They are not worth you messing up your own vibration because
they're annoying you. They're not worth you pedestaling them instead of you. So
what you're gonna do is see them for what they are. Give it a
little chuckle if you want very funny. I'm not falling for this shit.
Again. We're not saying this to them, We're saying it to ourselves.
And you're gonna remove yourself from the room for a minute and just release your
energy in the bathroom, in a bedroom outside, jump around and just get
that shit out. Just be like, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no no no, I'm not allowing it. I'm
not allowing it. I don't claim that energy. I don't claim that energy.
I don't claim that energy. I literally do a little workout and song
dance. I'll be like, I'm not claiming this energy today. No,
no, not today. And it just makes me feel so much better because
I'm moving my body. I'm getting out of my head and into my releasing
any energy I may have taken from them. And I will literally say back
to cender, back to center, back to center. So the first thing
I do is shake out my body. The second thing I say is send
back to sender. And the third thing I'll do is positive Bgitude activate activate
activate positive Bititude activate activate activate, positive Bgitute activate activate activate. Now what
am I saying. I'm saying positive Bititude activate. And what I'm doing is
I'm reactivating my magnetic energy. I'm reactivating my own positive energy. I sent
their energy back to them, and now I'm invigorating myself with positive energy.
I'm filling myself up with positive energy. Remember positive, bitch, what is
that? A positive babe and true connection with herself. I'm getting connected back
to me. So I'm not plugged into them because I don't want to plug
into their negativity. I don't want to be a part of their negativity.
I want to be here with me. So I'm sending their energy back to
them, and I'm re energizing myself with my own energy. That's what I'm
gonna do. We have to remember there are some people on this planet that
we cannot reach. And you're not sent here to fix everyone. You're not
a rehabilitation center for them. You're here to live a good life, to
learn, develop, grow, have happiness, have fun. You're not here
to fix everyone. You're not the fixer. You're a human. Okay,
So we're gonna re establish our own self and our own energetic boundaries, and
then we're gonna keep it walking and talking, grooving and moving. Number four.
Like I said before, our emotions are just energy. And actually the
word emotion comes from the Latin term emove. Ray. I hope I'm saying
that I did take two full years of Latin. Do I remember much not
really. We didn't speak it because it's a dead language. Did I cry
every day I had class? Yes, because we had to test every single
day we had class. I've never heard of anyone doing that besides this Latin
class. Okay for two full years. Yeah. Anyway, moving on,
emoveaure. What it means is to move out. Emotions are meant to be
moved out. They're meant to be moved Their natural state is move meant.
So if you know there's a person who has some sort of blockage to this
planet and this reality, then instead of trying to reach them, I want
you to reach into yourself. When you go home later that night, when
you have time to yourself, scream into a pillow. If you have a
punching bag, punch, take a long shower. Imagine the water just washing
off all their negative energy. Take a bath, Pray over the bath like
hands on that bath. This water will re energize me. I've been doing
a lot of salt baths lately. And just come back home to yourself.
I have a little altar in my room. If you're watching on YouTube,
you can see my altars right here. And after a long difficult day,
if it's with family, whatever it may be. I'll light a candle,
I'll do a prayer, I'll do a meditation, and I'll just come back
home to myself. I think so many of us are trying to run away
from family problems, from the drama. We end up running away from ourselves
too. The medicine is to come back home to you. The medicine is
to re energize your own energy. The medicine is to ground yourself, not
to keep running. Come back home to yourself. Journal a song, I
don't care, make a dance, Do something where you're moving your body.
You're moving your energy out and you're coming back home to yourself. You can
light white sage or palisanto and just gently put it around your body, put
it around your room. Just come back to yourself. They're not in your
room with you. They're not retriggering you in your room. People are gonna
hurt us, are gonna trigger us. But you don't need to cause yourself
more suffering by retriggering yourself by thinking about it, thinking about it, thinking
about it, think about something else. Come back home to yourself. If
you need a healthy distraction, put on one of those corny Christmas movies or
a funny show and laugh. Laughter is an amazing medicine to reground ourselves,
to come back home to ourselves. They're not worth you getting out of character,
especially if they're not even there anymore. They might have a whole hold
on you while they're there, but don't let them have a hold on you
while you're home alone, while you're in your room and they're not there with
you anymore. No, No, we don't let those sort of people win.
Where the winners Where the winners. Okay, coming to number five,
let's go. We know we need boundaries with people, and I've done a
plethora of podcasts on that which you can find. But another thing we need
to have boundaries with is our own emotions. Yeah, our emotions. They
are our navigators, but they're not the dictator. We are the dictator in
our own life. This means if you're crying Monday through Sunday or annoyed Monday
through Sunday about something that has happened on Thanksgiving or out of family party or
just your family in general, again, you're letting them win and you're hurd
your own vibration. If they hurt you, fine, but you were causing
your own suffering now, and that is where I just draw the line.
That's where I draw the line. So we need emotions, Yes, we
need to listen to our emotions, yes, But we need boundaries with our
emotions. Yes, So what I want you to start to do If your
emotions are just all over the place and you can't control them at the dinner
table, you can't control them at work now, you're just hurting your own
life and you're not getting anything done and you're crying all day and that's not
going to work. We want to let our emotions out, but we want
to do it in a way that works for our schedule. What I would
literally have to do with myself is schedule crying sessions throughout my week so I
could get my emotions out, and then I would tell myself, Okay,
I let it out. I cried about what I wanted to cry about,
or I journaled it out. Now I need to refocus on work on this,
on my workout, on going to hear whatever it may be. So
let's say Thanksgiving is today again, Happy Thanksgiving, It's Thursday. Let's say
you go to dinner and it's just you know, the circus. It is
a circus. And then you come back home and you're crying about it and
you're upset. Then Friday and Saturday and Sunday, you're just upset every single
day. What I want you to do is schedule crying session. You can
do it once daily or three times a week. And schedule this crying session
for about fifteen minutes to forty five minutes where you can complain to yourself about
it, you can cry about it, you can scream about it, and
then after that forty five minutes. Forty five minutes is how long a human
body can feel an emotion for. After forty five minutes, you'll notice you'll
either go from sadness to anger or sadness to some other emotion. And what
happens is a lot of the time we do this little dance and it's called
a crazy eight, where we go from satsadness to anger, from anger to
sadness, from sadness to anger, and we'll go back and forth and back
and forth because our body can only hold on to this energy for about forty
five minutes and then it's gonna swing to another emotion. So we'll go from
this powerlessness state from sadness, and then we'll go to this anger state,
which makes us feel dignified and powerful, and then we'll drop back into powerlessness
and sadness. Instead of doing that and doing a crazy eight, let's break
this pattern. Let's schedule fifteen to forty five minutes to cry, scream,
whatever you need to do, and then after that you're gonna tell yourself,
Okay, I'm not ignoring my emotions. I'm feeling my emotions. I'm listening
to them, I'm letting them out, and now I have to refocus on
getting this out for Q four, whatever it may be. I'm sorry I
just did a little like because I just used a corporate term, which is
Q four, and I feel very corporate for doing that. Anyway. Yeah,
I don't use Q four that language in my normal vocabulary, but I
thought, why not for the corporate girlies? Hi? Anyway, Q four
is very important, and I know that because that's the end of the year.
Okay, you need to make sure that your mind is primed for Q
four. You need to make sure that you are alive and well in your
life. You can't be worried about uncle Gary when you're trying to get these
emails out. Okay, so you're gonna give yourself fifteen to forty five minutes
to let it out and then refocus on what you gotta do. Go see
a friend for lunch, Go do a workout, do your work, write
a song, do something creative. I don't care what you do, but
it should not be about Uncle Gary. Okay, because the forty five minutes
are up to put it in a nutshell. The five tips for what strong
people do is One, emotions are meant to be used by us. They're
not meant to use us. So we're gonna keep those in check. Or
any holiday, We're not gonna keep telling ourselves what was. We're gonna focus
on the possibility of what can be. Three we're not gonna let these people
use our energy get a rise out of us, because they're getting a kick
out of us and we're getting kicked down. Number four, We're gonna use
our emotions, these energies, emotion, and we're going to either scream it
out, cry it out. When we get back home. Palo Santo,
We're gonna take a long shower, We're gonna take a bath, We're gonna
take a walk, We're gonna release it all and number five, we need
boundaries not just with people, but with our emotions too, so we schedule
those crying sessions. Thank you so much for being here. I know you
could be anywhere doing anything right now, and you are here with me.
Happy freaking Thanksgiving. This is the opening to the holiday season, which is
so exciting. I love you so much. And as always to Sparkle and
me hon as a sparkle in you. And if you enjoyed this podcast,
if you could leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, it means
world to me. It really helps this podcast and I love seeing your feedback.
Also, if not for me, do it for you because good karma.
Don't forget that the sale for Black Friday ends this Sunday, So if
you do want to work one on one with me, you do have the
opportunity. Get it while you still can. And I'll see you in the
next one. When canagey can sae me canceage me