Dad's on day. We would like to draw your attention to the fact that
the following content is made up of humorous adult material and is intended for immature
not easily triggered audience. You have been warned. Hey Jordan, Yes,
yes, sir, did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided?
All the sailors were marooned? H I hate it so much, but
it's colorful. I love it so much, so much. So all right,
I don't know where to go from there. So Dad's and Dake,
well, so one fifty, I'm known. I'm done. It was good
last last week, having having the stoneback for that episode. It was fun.
Family feud Dad feud in person was different, was different. And then
and then the worst part was, like we had talked about, was he
most of the time made up the list because he took out answers that he
didn't think would legitimately get answered. And then we gave those answers every time,
every time, And and then it made more sense when he said that,
because I'm like, there was multiple times where we would say something and
he'd be like, no, it's not on the list, and it's like
that, you son of a bitch that should be on the list, and
then he would say shit like, huh that would be that would be really
good on the list. Yeah, yeah, that's something that probably should be
on the list. You'd hear that a lot too, and it's like,
what's because it fucking was. Yeah, it was on the list and you
tried to get smart. That's what you get for getting smart. Yeah.
But yeah, it was a blast having him on. I can't wait for
him to be able to come back down or us to go up there and
do some more, because every time we get together, we're gonna have to
record with them because it's fun. I know the people miss him, and
I definitely, I definitely think that that we talked about doing Calabunga Bay.
Excuse me, I think we should take the recorder to Calabunga Bay and maybe
do some like random dad interviews. Yeah, just of random people, because
you know, I'm not freak to talk to anybody, So we can do
some random dad interviews at Cawabunca Bay of random dads that we see suffering in
the heat. Just just find a dad and be like, hey, we're
recording a dad podcast, come talk to us. That'd be pretty fun.
Yeah, and just like get like hours of material and then have to like
whittle it down and maybe multiple episodes be fun. Throw it on Patreon would
be a good idea. I was also thinking would be fun is if when
you and I go golfing, because we've been golfing a decent amount, we're
going to continue to golf mo right is to take take these and somehow set
up set up our our boom stands on the car. So there would be
a lot of editing that would have to go on because we'd have to cut
down when we're not near the cart. Yeah, but then the conversation getting
in the cart, And could you imagine if we did that last week when
we took your son, oh, my daughter, the conversations that they had
in the cart while we weren't present, Yeah, true, yeah, yeah.
I felt bad for Brendan and his life flashed before his eyes as my
daughter fucking plowed at him with the golf cart like hit the bank. I'm
just like, she's not gonna do it. She's not gonna make it.
She's not gonna make she's not gonna make it. And then I think we
were on like after he had already left we were on whole seven and she
has like fifteen feet between the front of her cart and a tree, like
there's no way you could hit this tree, and she still comes within inches
tree but she's ten. Yeah, so she was excited, she was happy.
It was a good experience for her. And you notice how at the
beginning she started off real skittish and she's like, I don't want to drive,
I don't want to drive, and then by the end she's like I'm
doing let's go. Yeah. Yeah, And she wanted to drive into the
fucking clubhouse and I was like, no, no, no, yeah,
actually you said it first. You're like, I don't think that's a good
idea. Yeah, pretty close. I did say, I'm like, you
probably shouldn't drive going up to the clubhouse. Yeah. Well, I mean
Kingman's pretty relaxed. But but just in case once they see her a couple
of times, then maybe true true, Yeah, but no, it's it's
it's good ship. Uh. And like spoiler alert, We've we've been golfing,
and we're going to continue to golf and I mean maybe you can talk
about you know, like what you recently got here in a minute, but
we are going to Uh, we're gonna do this whole episode golf themed episode
four four, I think last week, So we'll happen to dad week right
now. Because so we hung out last weekend. We went golfing, and
it was comical because we were on Whole four and so to describe to you
people out there, Whole four is next to Interstate forty and the tea box,
depending on which tea box you're playing from, is elevated. The further
back you are, the higher elevated it is above the fairway. So I
never hit driver on this hole because it's a it is a short hole.
It's only like it's like three twenty five to center green from gold, which
we don't play from black unless we unless we choose to, we play from
gold, which is the next one back in front of black and or for
the tips for the pro golfers, that would be black, right. So
I usually always use my three wood, So I'm like, I'm gonna use
my three wood last week, and I piped the shit out of this ball,
but it just it doesn't slice, but it fades right because I already
hit it a little bit right, ye, and it hits the hill and
lands in the fairway of whole four. Yes, I'm sorry, yeah,
hole four. Did I say we're on whole five? So on whole five
we're on. So my ball lands on a whole four, use your driver
and you land like two feet behind my ball on like literally. Yeah.
So we go over to the ball and I'm like, I'm looking, and
I'm like, we're kind of lined up with one hundred and fifty pen but
now we're gonna be downhill, hitting uphill. Because we have hills between us
and the green where our balls are at, you cannot actually see the flag.
You can't see the green. So I go up to a hill with
my range finder and it says like one sixty five yes, and I'm like,
says one sixty five to the flag. So roughly was called one seventy
because we're hitting downhill and we're about five yards away from where I measured maybe
ten yards, and I just drill that fucking ball. And I was so
mad because I had changed clubs. Yeah, and if I not change clubs,
I would have been pretty much online with the pin, yeah, but
I probably wouldn't have hit it that good. No, never, never,
Yeah. And then what was funny is that the whole four the one before
that. Yes, we had people still in front of us at that moment.
Yes, they had been in front of us the entire time up to
that point, like going slow to correct sweet last time. It was miserable
to sit there behind them. Yep. And I hit one. It was
my second shot, and I hit over the green and didn't just didn't say
a fucking word. And the lady was standing maybe fifteen feet from where that
ball landed, and it didn't land it went over the green, and it
could have very well hit a rock and just ricocheted right into her. It
could have hit her. It could have just hit her dead on, because
where you grabbed your ball from could not have been more than ten feet from
her. It was about six and the six and a half seven feet,
Like it was close, yeah, because you were walking up there. I'm
like, what the fuck are you doing? And then I see her point
to her right and I'm like, no shit, your ball literally went up
because she was standing there while we made our shot. Yep. Like,
it wasn't like she just got to that spot. She was standing there while
we shot to get onto the green. Yeah, watching us. Yeah,
yeah, Yeah, And I hit I hit. I didn't see your shot,
so I didn't know where it went. You were over on the other
side with Elias at that point where I hit yeah, we live while he
was hitting the whole four. I would have I would have died if I
had have seen, like looked up and watched her just fall forward, like
the like the happy billboard, the lady in the house. Oh my god,
Well, how was how was your week? It was really good?
You know, it was uh, work is okay, the home life is
okay. I had a funny little moment. Grayson was having a hard time.
He was over with Cass and he was bored. So Cas hit me
up and she was like, hey, Grayson's bored. I don't know what
to do with him. He wants to come to your house because he misses
you. Blah blah blah, Right, Mike, Well fine, send him
over right. I get off work at this time, so he's he's actually
here before me. He's hanging out with my mom. I come in the
door. He's super happy to see me, gives me a big old hug.
He's like, can we play Fortnite together? I was like, you
know what, fuck it? Why not? I got some time let's go.
Let's go play Fortnite. So keep in mind I haven't touched an Xbox
controller in months, I mean months. Yeah, I also don't like Fortnite.
I hit the building aspect of it. I'm not good at it.
I'm terrible. I am hot trash. I can the PvP aspect of it.
I'm fine if it's just shooting. It's the building, it's the build,
just not good enough. My brain doesn't work for it. So anyway,
so we get going, right, and he's getting frustrated because he's getting
he's getting killed quick. I'm holding my own. The first time, I
think we got seventeenth, the second time we got twenty something, and then
the third time. However, we're going and he now is learning to stay
close to me instead of just go off and do his own thing. Right
right, However, he is still barking out orders to tell me what to
do and where to go. So I'm like, all right, like we
can manage this because he's staying close. So I'll just continue to listen.
Right, So we keep going and going. Next thing, you know,
we're in top five, and I'm like, all right, we can do
this, Like we can we can get this vict. We can get this
vict, all right? That sounds good. I get fucking shotgun from behind
because I'm not paying attention to somewhere about what he's doing. He turns around,
it gets to him and one other guy and he gets killed instantly,
Like at the second is the second this dude finds him? He's done,
right. He turns and looks at me, and he goes, we would
have done better if you would have listened more. I shit you not.
I fucking grabbed the controller off the ground because it was at that time I
just put it down. I was watching him right right. I picked the
controller up. I shut the fucking Xbox off. I was like, yeah,
how about that? I thought you and I got up and I walked
away. He's like, hey, where are you going? I was like,
you talk to me like that again playing any kind of video game,
dude, and I will never play with you again. Yeah? Ever,
Yeah, I don't care. He's like, I got us to where we
were and then you died. Yeah, and it was it was like seven
kills to one. A little fuck her. So it happens. Now,
cut to cut to last night. He was still over here. I tell
castle, I'm like Hey, I got a lot of stuff going on tonight,
like taking back for tonight, spend some time with him, like the
whole he wants to spend time with me. Thing isn't happening. I've got
two softball games, I've got shit. I gotta like focus on. I'm
not gonna be spending any time with him. It's so take the time to
spend with him. This is your week. So I send him back to
Cassie's. They go over to her friend's house. Her friend happens to live
behind the house that his Like now, I guess best friend Avery lives at
so they see each other. He gets all excited they're hanging out. This
kid hyper extends his knee. Not not my son, the other kid hyper
extends his knee. Grayson shows an just astronomical amount of compassion for this kid.
Sits by him, waits by him until someone comes gets in mice like
literally helps him get back over the wall because there's a brick wall that the
kid climbed over to get over to that house. And then they put a
ladder up so he can get back right like they this Grayson just showed amount
of compassion for this kid. Wanted to go into his house and check on
him, and like it was just it was sweet to hear that my son
was kind when he's not kind to me. Maybe maybe he got abducted the
night before and it's really not your son anymore, hope not. Could you
imagine though, like on a real quick note, like we won't dive too
deep into this one, but could you imagine if that was the case,
Like he's your son's body, but now he's an alien but your but now
there's an alien somewhere with your son inside that alien and there are light years
away, and that they're like, what the fuck? Who do we steal?
Yeah, this guy's fucking retarded. Yeah he could tell me everything about
fucking dinosaurs, but he can't spell his name to save his life. We
could have made it to this planet if you'd have listened to me. That's
good, ship, Yep, it was good. My son is in full
work mode now and he loves it. He actually I knew he would.
He was kind of kicking his feet at first about the job thing. But
he loves it. He's all about it. And when this week, this
whole week, he's at this Centennial pool, which is closest to us.
So if it's during the daytime, because he sometimes he has to work nighttime
for a party, but during the daytime he rides his bike and then so
that way, you know, he could just ride down and ride home when
he's done. And the awkward part was he'd come home and said something about
how they get paid and it's on this like debit card if they with it,
if they don't have an account. So I'm like, okay, I'll
open an account for him because I know like they have, like through Chase,
they have like the kid's account, So I open one. I'm like,
oh, I can do this on my phone. Perfect. Then come
to find out the account I opened for him, you can't do direct deposit.
It has to go into my account and then I have to transfer it
to his account. But I can't do direct deposit for him because it's his
name on the check mine. So his first paycheck is supposed to be this
week. So then we have to go into the bank with two forms of
ID so he can cash out of the debit card, put the money in
my account so I can transfer to his account, and then we have to
try and change his account to a high school account and then he'll be able
to do direct deposit and stuff like that. But it's just like this fucking
fandango of bullshit and there's no fucking bankers in the bank, so you have
to set up an appointment. I looked. The next appointment I can get
is next Saturday at like twelve. There's two spots. There's like an eleven
thirty and a twelve thirty, and then the next one isn't for like a
week and a half after that. You know what's crazy, And I'm like,
I fucking hate this shit. Soon, you know what's gonna happen.
The bank tellers are all gonna be AI yeah, pretty much. It's gonna
be a hologram AI yeah pretty much that you go in and talk to yeah
yeah, or you don't even go in. It's just outside. Like they're
gonna be individual stalls, individual ATMs that pop up and you come into this
secure little room. You know, it's gonna be like back to the future
when when he goes to order a pepsi and it's Michael Jackson and Ronald Reagan
and they on a TV taking your order. Yeah, pretty much. That
sounds accurate, but it's just frustrating because it's like like make it fucking easy,
you know, but I can't open I can't open a high school account
on my phone because it requires signatures and IDs, and it's like, oh
my god, it's just like I still have to co sign for it.
So it's just like, just open the fucking account. That's the government they
want, they want it. The banks are owned by the government. The
government wants. I also don't want them just running around with a debit card
with his money on it and having no clue how much is on it,
and like it's you know, I have him have the account. I downloaded
the app form on his phone so he could manage and look at what he
has and like, Okay, this is what's going to go into your spending.
The rest of this goes into your savings, and teach him good habits
and shit like that, because I was never really taught any of that shit
with a bank account ever. So like I literally just got it and spent
it. Next thing, I know, I'm like, how am I overdrawn?
Yeah? You know, it's like but whatever, my mom tried,
my mom and dad tried to teach well, my mom tried to teach me.
My dad tried to teach me how to deal with an allowance because my
dad knew. Like my dad knew, he wasn't great with with money.
He was he was good with math, and he knew how to he didn't
know how to save. But if he had it, it was almost like
he just I don't know, it's something was different with him. It wasn't
a normal jew right. But my mom, on the other hand, my
mom was very good at budgeting and saving money. So my mom always gave
my dad a weekly allowance and she'd be like, okay, here, you
know, here, Billy, you have one hundred dollars, do whatever you
want. And my dad could make that one hundred dollars, He could turn
that hundred dollars into more. He was great at turning that hundred dollars into
more, but he was never great at not spending that more. Right,
right, right, So so my mom taught me. My mom taught me
how to budget and manage money. I just the second I got a taste
of how to spend it. It was just a difference, especially when you
have extra. Yeah, you know. I always had extra, yeah,
because I was always doing extra. But even now, like in our lives,
now and like having good jobs and making good money and having you know,
we don't necessarily live paycheck to paycheck. Yeah, so there's times there's
like, well I want it. I'm just gonna buy it sometimes because I
have it. Well, that's what I just did with my recent purchase,
which was a brand new golf club set. Yeah, I was like fuck
it. And I was about, like, it is close when you sent
me the Wedet the wet the iron set for the king Kobra iron set,
and they're like seven hundred dollars off because it's like a close out from like
two years ago, but they're brand new, and I'm like, oh,
but I didn't. I didn't. I'm like, oh wait, my irons
are only like three years old and I do fine with them. So and
I actually almost went with that that iron set and then just kept some of
the other pieces that I already had. Yeah, but I was like fuck,
but then I still need a bag, like the like the whole the
whole purpose that started me looking for a brand new set was that I needed
a bag. My bag is trash. My irons have a bunch of chips
in them, but I could probably make them work for a couple more years,
but you probably added some more chips last weekend a little bit. There's
a couple, a couple of terrible holes. Yeah, yeah, what happens,
you know. But I'm excited. They're shiny, they're new, they're
cowaways, you know, they're they're they're good. Yeah, I'm excited.
I'm excited to get out and I know we have plans to go out this
weekend and play, so I'm excited about that, you know, I I
get excited. There's two things I get really excited about, especially now that
I'm getting back into golf after taking like a year and a half off.
I get excited about golf, and I get excited about sex. Absolutely.
I mean, and I like to see if you can correlate to two.
Here, you suck next shit, I'll bet you could suck a golf ball
through a garden hope. Well, I am positive that some of the females
on this list that we're about to go over can absolutely suck a golf ball
through a guarden hose. Okay, yeah, and I guess we'll do that
for sure. I got excited because you're looking at the list. Yeah,
that's a preview for later we're gonna do uh so in a change of pace.
We've done this with other things before, but we're gonna do things that
you can say in golf and in bed. Yes, so I'll go first
while you pull up your lift list lift lift. Yeah, I hope it
doesn't bother you. But my shaft is bent. Mm hmmm mm hmmm.
I like it. Uh, just a heads up, I'm slightly curved to
the right. What a divot? Jesus fuck it. Wronghole still counts well.
We add one, so it looks like a three something today. That
one's good. All right, Hey, you can drive. I just got
a new record for the lowest strokess. Oh my god, let me see
I can get to my list. Hold one. I've been here long enough
time for the explosion shot. I'll go along with that. One. Looks
like I'm in the water hazard. Heyky, you grab my wood. Oh
shit, my ball's in the wrong hole. God damn. That's good.
I like it. This looks a little tight. I'm gonna have to wedge
it. You do better if you just adjusted your grip. I do better
in the rough. So what hole do we start on? I like that
one. I like that that would be a good shirt, Like, that
would be a great shirt. Yeah, a little polo with it on the
back or something like right in the pocket. Yeah, it's just a bunch
of dildo's shirt. Yeah with the micro pictures. Yeah, so you can't
tell until you're right, until you're right, Yeah, that would be good.
I don't know why I keep missing the hole. I'm normally better at
this. I'm in the same regards. Oops, wrong hole. Nice between
the four of us, who has the best ball? Mmm? I like
that one. I like that one. This turf is trimmed really nice,
finished in three strokes. Jealous ship ship, I'm in the mud again.
Oh no, fuck, I thought it was just gonna be the two of
us. What is Carl doing here? Solid? Solid, I'm fresh out
now I got what we're I'm not. And as I can't see the hole
and there's dog leg, you know, I think I saw that on the
list I was looking at for something because I had most of mine already done
and I felt like I needed some more, and so I found a couple
of different lists and I saw that one, and I was like, that's
good. But I'm like, eh, I'm glad you still brought it.
That's good stuff, all right. If you guys got any funny ones,
feel free to jump on our Facebook page and throw them out there. Just
throw them out there with no explanation whatsoever. Just throw out the phrase and
we will know, and we will know. We will know that you listen
to this first of all, and then maybe you start a trend and maybe
maybe if one catches our fancy, like maybe if there's one really good one
out there that we love, maybe we'll shoot you like a shirt or something.
Maybe I actually before we shoot them, I sure, I actually,
Oh, the King Lebar, we should load trumpets at some point on our
stream deck here. But I owe Lebar a massive package. So he knows
it. He knows it, he knows it's coming. So yeah, he's
gonna get a massive package from the NOME. So all right, well because
f F comes after right right, Welcome to our world for those listening out
there, which is everyone. I was just silently holding my nose trying not
to cry and laugh at the same time. All right, So it's been
a while. I heard the boys over at Channel D. You wanna want
to cut in and do a little news break for us, breaking news news
for you. I got some bad news for you. Welcome back to Channel
D News. I'm your host, Squirt mud Bottom joining me later. Somebody
on the streets and storm a blown with a weather update. It is the
season for golf, and we've heard of violent altercations on the golf course throughout
the years, but this one particularly is grizzly. According to Channeldy News,
a golfer bit off another man's finger in Massachusetts. The fight happened at Souther's
Marsh Golf Club in Plymouth on Friday. Neither of the men hasn't been identified
yet, but the report says a forty seven year old man was arrested and
charged with mayhem. The incident reportedly happened late in the day and left one
man with his thumb bitting off to his knuckle. Talk about a fucking divot.
Let's go to the streets. What do we got going on in the
streets or the course or the links or whatever. Hey, so you mean
to tell me that some motherfucker came out there it was biting fingers. I
know who that is. Yeah, that's jolly, Yeah, Charlie knuckles.
He takes it down to the knuckle every time you don't want to fuck with
that guy, so for some reason he doesn't like when he gets pointed at.
It's kind of weird, you know. They say Jimmy Hoffa was the
same way. That motherfucker didn't like you and pointed at either till somebody you
know, pointed him in the direction at Georgia. You know, there's a
rumor day he's underneath the golf course in Georgia. You know that. Yeah,
it's pretty crazy. I cannot confirm nor deny that my cousin may or
may not have had somebody who may or may not have been affiliated with the
golf course that we may or may not be speaking about, you know what
I mean. But on the streets this week, it's kind of fucking crazy
because you know, there's not really anything going on. It's kind of weird.
There's the fucking Las Vegas nights. There's some shit. They're out there
fucking stuff up. I hear that they're about to fucking blow this to nothing
lead but who knows, we'll see. Thank you Bally for that wonderful update.
I guess you could say fuck the Golden Knights, and also that Hoppa
must be a master at his hiding spot storm. I here, you need
a weather update for us? I damn straight, motherfucker did you say hide
and seek? Shit? My winger been playing hide and seek for the last
couple of days. You guys talk about golf. It's kind of funny because
Missus Johnson's cousin was over hitting golf balls down at the pond and dumb sung
bitch has such a bad slice he hooked it over through my fucking trailer window.
I was laying there, master baiting to the golf's hot is twenty five
female golfers list, and it fucking hit me riding with dick dude. Fuck
shit, man, I haven't seen that sum bitching forever. The fuckers started
off cool because it got all purple and stuff and like started swelling his bucket,
but it didn't last long, and then it got like little gopher and
went inside this hole. I thought I turned into one of them, uh
trans transmissions, what the fuck would call? I don't know. I'm not
woke, but you know, Uh, it has hot, man, fucking
hot, I did. It's getting hotter. They say some mom soons are
coming, but I'm not really fucking sure because I don't see him I just
I might go talk to Lefty Larry that is down the street, asking him
do a rain dance for me or something. He wears one of them headrests
head head what is it called. I don't know, man. He said
he's a shaman. Shaman jump some shit like that. But anyway, back
to you, thank you. Storm. Rumors have spread around the break room
that missus Johnson could suck a golf ball through a hose. We could either
confirm nor deny that report in our last story. The last few days there
have been incidents of wild animals getting a little too close for comfort on the
golf course. A bear was spotted at the h Smith Richardson golf Course in
Connecticut. Remember, folks, when your ball lands and bear shit, play
it as it lies. For channelty News, I'm your host. Scored mud
bottom for poly and Storm. We'll catch you next time. So fake news,
fake news. You are fake news. It's all fake news, fake
news. It's phony stuff. It didn't happen. It's all fake news.
It's good to hear the boys back. It's been a while since we've had
the boys from Channel D stop by and hang out. It was It's fun,
you know, I will say, I do. I do think that's
a good theory about you know, Jimmy Offfa. I wonder if we're ever
gonna find him, or you think maybe we did find him and they just
didn't want to say nothing. Mm hmm, you know what I mean.
I wonder how deep that conspiracy goes. That's one conspiracy theory. You don't
hear too much about it anymore, No, you really don't, You really
don't. I do really wonder though, with all the like, speaking of
mob shit, as Lake Mead continues to drop, will they continue to find
bodies? We found quite a few. Yeah, and there's a lot that
was that actually a very deep lake for being a man made lakes. There's
still room to go. Oh absolutely, there's still some parts. And I
hope that this doesn't shin anybody away from the severity of the lake depleting.
But there are still some parts that are like one hundred feet deep, right,
a little bit more? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well I remember
at the end of high school, my girlfriend at the time, her parents,
and myself and her went to like the northern part of the lake.
They had already dried up because there was an entire town Obviously nobody was in
the town when they covered it because they had evacuated when they were going to
make the lake. But there was an entire town that was underneath the lake.
So you could see the like borders of structures and like there was some
buildings of brick that were still intact, like not big buildings, just like
small pieces left. But it was really cool and kind of eerie to walk
through that area. And you know, that was shit twenty years ago now,
so now they're probably condominiums. It's true, that's true. They were
built with a lakeside view and now the lake is two miles away. Well,
so we were gonna do something. We were gonna do a little fuck
Mary kill, but we're gonna do it with a twist. Yes, so
stupid. Oh you're touching n ding ding dong, you sexy bitches. So
we found an article the top twenty five hottest female golfers of twenty twenty three,
and the website for anybody curious that wants to find this, it's the
Athletic build dot com and you can just go on there and you can go
to Google and do Athletic Build top twenty five hottest female golfers and this list
will pop up. So instead of creating different trios, we're gonna go through
all twenty five and we're gonna say if we're gonna fuck Mary or kill yep.
So let's start off with number twenty five here. Her name is Carly
Booth. She she's a Scottish pro golfer. At the age of seventeen,
she became the youngest scott ever to qualify for the Ladies European Tour. Her
most recent win was back in twenty nineteen. So what do you got on
her? I'm gonna fuck her. I can't kill her because she looks too
sweet. M I can't marry her because I don't think she's old enough to
marry, but just over the age to fuck because she's not. She wasn't.
She's not seventeen now. She was seventeen in twenty nineteen. We're not
bowling at Christina Ricci again. Yeah, all right, well there was caveats
to that. Don't you fucking don't do that to me, Ricky Bobby.
That's true, that's true. I'm gonna choose Mary because she is she is
young, okay, but she's old enough to marry and she's got some good
years left on the bod all right, fair enough to be able to because
he's married, he's getting a fuck her a lot. Yeah, So I'm
gonna I'm gonna go with Mary on that one. Number two four, don't
know how she made it above Carly Booth, Natalie Gulbis. Yeah, she
looks like she looks like she could be I'm gonna killer. Yeah, and
I'm gonna make a fucking leather bag out of her because she looks like she's
been tanning her entire life. Like, don't get me wrong, she got
a nice rack on her and her body's not terrible, but she looks leathery.
Yeah, I'm not a fan of that. She looks like John Daly's
played through her several times, like a lot. I'm gonna I'm gonna go
with kill on this one. Yeah. Number twenty three Sidney Michaels. She's
an American golfer who has been playing the on the LPGA Tour since twenty twelve.
Yeah, she kind of reminds me. She gives me like Sidney Crawford
kind of vibes a little bit, but she's a little skinny for my taste,
only because she doesn't. She doesn't look healthy. That one rib's kind
of popping out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd still fuck her.
I'd go with a one Night's dann I'm gonna choose the fuck on this one.
Yeah. I don't think I could marry her because it seems like we
would have a lot of difference of opinions in the way we lived our life.
Yeah. Yeah. Number twenty two Paula Kreamer Mary. I'd marry this
young lady right now. She's an American golfer who has won twelve tournaments,
including ten LPGA Tour events. Uh. You know something something she's got.
She's got a sadistic smile that I don't know that about the marrying. So
I'm gonna choose the fuck on this one. She looks crazy as fuck.
I'd marry her. That's yep. Okay, it tracks, trust me.
Let's go to number twenty one. Courtney Harder. Courtney Harder is a golfer
from Clearwater, Florida, and she's on the LPGA uh Symmetra Tour. Okay,
Yeah, and she's also played on the Ladies European Tour. Uh.
I'm gonna kill her because she's from Florida. Have you heard the latest news
about Florida. This, this little bit of news makes me want to do
an entire episode about the crazy shit that goes on in Florida. But they
have just passed a bill where they are going to take they're going to take
nuclear waste and put it on their roads. They're going to construct roads with
nuclear waist. That sounds about right for Florida. She's dying, Okay,
I'm gonna fuck her because she's from Florida. She's crazy as shit. She's
got this nice complexion. I don't know if she's uh, she's a good
smile. Yeah, I don't know that she's that. She's would be termed
African American. I don't think so. But she's got this great complexion and
nice smile. So I'll take I'll take the hit and take her one night.
She looks some europe She looks like some European, even though it says
that she's American, but she looks she looks like she's got European in her.
Okay number twenty Veronica Philip Bert. She is from Venezuela and she turned
pro in twenty twelve, and she has six top ten finishes? Can she
finish you? She has got toxic written all over her. She looks like
she this picture looks like she divorced Phil Mickelson and took half his money.
I'm killing her. I'm killing her as well, and then I'm gonna keep
whatever how she's in. It might be a hotel, but I don't know.
Number nineteen Natalie Gilson. She is next on our list of hottest female
golfers. Aali is easily one of the coolest girls on this list. Why
because she likes to work out, loves dogs, drinks, and she also
is a pro golfer. Why the fuck would she not be on this list?
Then? This list is about golfers. How the fuck do you add
that to her bio? I don't know, but she looks like a good
time but not not a merry time. So I'm gonna choose fuck on this
one. I'm gonna fuck her and then turn around and substitute her in for
the next one and fuck her again. She looks like she's a great lay,
okay. Number eighteen Kathleen Ecki American on this She's another American. She's
from Cleveland and she turned pro back in two thousand and nine. She's probably
a Lebron Lebron fan, So I'm definitely not marrying her, but I will
fuck her. She's pretty, she looks like she could. I don't.
I'm gonnachoose marry on this one. You think you're gonna marry her? Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, I mean she is getting really friendly with that club.
Yeah. So yeah, maybe I'll change my mind and marry her.
I can deal with it. She can like Lebron. Yeah, you can
fix that. Yeah. Number seventeen Valeria Ochoa. Whatever she wants me to
do. She teaches golf in South Florida. Yeah, but she is cradling
the balls in the picture. There's something about her eyes. I don't like
her entire face. I'm killing her and I'm killing her. Yeah, she's
got a gorgeous body. I will say that. Number sixteen Demi runas Mary.
She's Asian. She's gonna treat you fucking right. She's gonna boss you
around like motherfucker, but she's gonna treat you right, Mary. Uh yeah,
Mary for sure. Because her hobbies include yoga, baking, and working
out. You had me at yoga, yep, you had me at all
it. Yeah. Yeah. Uh. Number fifteen Jessica Korda. She has
five LPGA wins to her credit thus far. She's a daughter of pro tennis
players Peter Korda and Regina. Can't pronounce that last name, and her sister
is also on the LPGA. Yeah, that's a weird like Russian. It's
a Russian name. Ah, something's off with her. She looks like a
good one night time. Yeah, I'm gonna choose the one night buck.
Yeah. Yeah, I think a killer. I'm a killer, all right.
Next number fourteen Nikky Garrett, Australian pro golfer and she qualified for the
Ladies European back in two thousand and six. This list is these women are
supposed to get hotter from here. There's some Yeah, for sure, she's
pretty smoking. She's pretty smoking. She does not beat number one. I
can tell you that fair enough. Uh. I'm just gonna go with the
one nighter on her. M Yeah, she doesn't look like she'd be faithful.
She looks like she'd be a hard time, no offense. I know
what you're picking on. The next one a number thirteen Charmila Nicolott. She's
an Indo French pro golfer from India. She's six foot one. Death by
Snooze tou sign me up. Yeah, I'd fuck her, couldn't marry her,
don't want to kill her. I don't know. I think that's yeah.
I'm not gonna go into that. That was gonna get kind of weird.
Nearbyd fuck her. Number twelve bellin Mazo. She's a Spanish golfer who
plays on the LPGA Tour as well as the Ladies European Tour. Can't figure
out what she wants. Huh, she doesn't really appeal to me. I'm
gonna kill her. Yeah, I'm gonna kill her too. She's too wishy
washy. Figure it out. Pick your lane. Number eleven Melissa Reid hails
from England and plays on the Ladies European Tour. She turned pro back in
two thousand and eight. Melissa, no offense. She kind of looked like
a dude, not what I'm into killing you. I'm gonna go with the
same number. Ten. Holy shit, Sophie Horn, my fucking horn.
Jesus Christ. I marry her. Yep. Yeah, she's a Mary.
There's nothing. There's nothing else to say about that. Please, if you're
listening to this and yeah, you have not checked out this list, please
check out this list once again. The Athletic build dot Com. Number nine
Maria Virchua Nova. She's a Russian golfer. She also set a course record
during the Rio Olympics with a sixty two. Wow. Good for you.
She's about to make me go six' to two. I'm a killer though.
I'm gonna killer too. She's got long ass legs. Yeah. Lily
Mooney he Asian Chinese pro golfer who plays on the LPGA Tour. Mary Asian.
Now one night with this one a one night? I can see it.
Yeah. Lexi Thompson. Number seven Jesus Christ, how does she not
look so? So? Her top half is looking great, but then the
bottom half just goes I'm killing, yeah, killing her? How you golf
with that look? She doesn't look natural? Yeah. Number six is a
fairly well known female name for sure, Michelle Wee. She has one major
and several other tournaments over the years, and has endured controversy for playing in
the men's tournament, but hasn't done so since two thousand and eight. She
looks like a great mom. I own to marry her. That's funny.
She looks like she can beat my ass. So you're going to well,
she's Asian, I'm still married. Okay, you're marrying all Asians, all
Asians. Yeah, okay. Number five Beatrice riccari Uranus iran Uranus. Yeah,
we're doing it in the ass, in the ass. I'll suck her.
She does. I can't again. She she does look young in this
picture. Her face. She she has very young features. She's huge tits.
She has huge tits because those are that's a swinging motion picture, so
those are shifted all the way over across your body and they're still big.
All right, you're ready for number four. Lucy Robson. She's a British
golfer. She also falls under the category of Instagram model who golfs. Look
how thick her bottom happens. I'm taking that out for one night because you
put kids in that, it's only gonna get thicker. She she looks like
the type of woman, but she looks like the type of woman that once
you do marry her, it's all downhill, Like the attitude changes, the
sex goes away, like, yeah, you're taking her for one night.
Yeah you're not killing her, You're you're doing a one night stroll on this.
Yes. Number three Cheyenne Woods, Wow and get my woods going.
She is the niece of Tiger Woods, so golfing is obviously in her jeans,
and so am I I would marry her. She looks like she knows
how to manage a house. Yeah, one percent, dude. She looks
she looks faithful, she looks horny. She's related to Tiger Woods. She
looks like she could cook, like she looks like she she just looks like
she could manage a whole household, like like being her husband would be easy.
I think, yeah, okay. Number two Blair O'Neil. She's a
pro golfer, model, golf channel host, and is the winner of the
golf reality show Big Break Dominican Republic. I'm gonna kill her. She looks
like a lazy fuck and I definitely don't want to marry her. I'm just
gonna choose the one night stand on here. I think she's still good enough
for that. Number one the Kude Gras of All Women's Golfer page spearnak so
good. They put three pictures yep. Oh yeah. If you will go
watch videos of the anybody Listening dome later, go watch videos of her golfing.
She is by far one of the hottest females on the planet. Not
only is she number one on this list, she also came in first place
on their fifty Hottest female athletes of the same website, The Athletic bill dot
com. You know what's weird and normally not the case. I think the
pictures of her with more clothes on look sexier than the picture of her in
a bikini. Yeah, I get that. I'm marrying her. I'd marry
he one hundred percent. Oh, absolutely one. Anybody that any any woman
like this that's willing to wear the high ponytail. Yeah, she knows what
she's doing with that high ponytail. Thousand percent. Yeah here with that bomb
pop in that m Yeah, I would marry her. All right, Well
that was good. I like that. Maybe next time we'll do the top
twenty five hottest men golfers. I'm down, Okay, Well what was next
here? What is next is thank you for listening to dads on daqueal.
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