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You're actually dentically out of the ranks. The night got Welcome back, our
lovers to midnight Viewing of the Night Gallery podcast. I'm Father Malone and with
me here in the gallery are the projection books Mike White, Very Tasty and
the Culture Cast Chris Dash You my fingers are green, let me plant them
and see what happens. And we are discussing Season two, episode fifteen,
which aired on January the fifth, nineteen seventy two. It was broken into
three segments. Those are Green Fingers, the Few Funeral, and the tune
in Dan's Cafe for the Whiticulturist amongst you, Here's a dandy, a lady
who plants things and then steps back and watches them grow roses, rhododendron,
tulips, and things never before to be fun coming out of the ground.
Just put in the subject of this painting has green fingers. Green Fingers was
written by Rod Serling, based on a short story by RC Cook, and
directed by mister John Badham. This one stars Elsa Lanchester Spry as always,
Cameron Mitchell, and Michael Bell. Before we continue, I've been all this
season attempting to point out a spotlight on some of our lesser known celebrated members
of the Night Gallery family. But he's this is the only episode he appears
in. But in this case, I'm cold Bell. This is his only
Night Gallery performance, as I said, But ultimately as an actor, I'm
not even going to discuss him seeing him at all. As a voice actor,
he has over four hundred credits Oh yeah. As soon as he started
talking, I was like, Oh, it's the cat Man from Cuss Meets
The Phantom of the Park. Absolutely, it's Duke from g I Joe.
It's his voice is so recognized. The only other time I've ever seen Michael
Bell and I had the same reaction. He's in the pilot for Star Trek
the Next Generation Encounter at far point, he's the alien who's torturing the other
aliens and they come and set him free, and like he spoke at one
point time, I was like, Oh my god, that's the voice.
That's that guy. Who's that guy? So I've been following him ever since,
But like I said, his credits are just completely insane. For like
four hundred voice roles in everything. A true voice actor who has appeared in
literally everything from commercials to cartoons of every variety, features and Saturday Morning and
Lame and retro and anything. Anyway, I just wanted to point him out
because I kind of adore the guy. Anyway. This story is about Elsa
Lanchester is a lonely spinster who's really good with gardening, and she's refusing the
advances of a real estate mogul. What'd you think of this one, Chris.
I think the story that they're telling is fun. I think it's a
little long. I like Elsa Lanchester a lot. I mean, obviously,
I'm a huge fan of the Bride of Frankenstein, as I'm sure we all
are, and to see her in this in a speaking role, which is
now the second time I've seen her in anything outside of Brida Frankenstein, is
interesting and refreshing because she ain't in that movie a lot, folks. I
know, if you haven't seen it, you might think she's in Brida Frankenstein
a lot, but she's not at all. Frankly, she's in the beginning
and essentially at the end of the movie. When I have to call you
a liar, Chris, you saw Elsa Lancaster in Murder by Death. She
was the Miss Marple one who is pushing around. That's what it was.
That's what it was. Because I was trying to think to myself, I
was like, I feel like I had seen her earlier then Bride of Frankenstein,
in something where she looked like this, and she does in Colombo.
Look, Okay, that's what it was. Okay, but still, I
mean, she's great here and she plays that character perfectly, per perfectly.
Cameron Mitchell, on the other hand, I'm what kind of accent is he
doing? Tycoon? Oh, okay, a tycoon accent, don't you know.
I'm a man of industry that checks out. I speak only with a
cigar in my mouth. Yeah, yeah, out of that guy. You
watch your ass. Yeah he wants that. I mean, this is a
tale as old as time, this whole thing of a wealthy tycoon wants to
take the land from an old lady who won't sell it to him. He
owns all the parcels all around, but she won't say all out. And
then he hires someone to maybe murder her, but or just cut off her
fingers, and then her fingers go in the ground. She dies a fucking
shock, right or something like. I was surprised when she died and just
how quick it was, But not to worry, because everything she plants grows,
so she grows a new person out of her fingers, which then led
me to a whole mental conversation thinking about Wolverine. If you cut off Wolverine's
fingers, does he grow a whole new wolverine or does he grow new fingers
or both? I think the answer is both. WHOA. So he's like
cloning himself all the time. He must have like one of those prestige machines
to kill all these extra ones, I think. I think in Wolverines case,
it has to be a substantial portion of him to grow back. It
can't just be a finger. I'm trying to remember, like with Marvel zombies,
because I think they cut off his head, but then I think the
head grows back, not the head grows a new hymn? Is that the
axe that killed me? How could he ever be a zombie? Yeah?
That is strange, right, And I mean, yeah, Galactus is a
zombie at one point two. I mean hewing close to the rules of the
universe. Don't seem to matter when when the Z word comes a knocke yeah,
because he's the same with this, like it's a little much that she's
just I thought it was going a different direction, And when another one of
when it goes where it goes, I was like, Okay, sure,
which way did you think it was going to go? I didn't expect it
to go this way again, Like you know that he's going to get his
come up, and but I didn't expect that she was just gonna die.
Yeah, Like she gets her fingers cut off. He doesn't get shot in
the head. Well, and she just kind of loses her mind too,
and she's like my fingers, my fingers, and she's just bleeding all over
the place. Like we've complained several times. Probably, I mean we've done
what fifteen episodes now or this is the so probably fourteen times you've heard me
say, boy, I saw that ending coming a mile away. I didn't
see this one right on. Well, it is a really good short story,
and this teleplay by Stiling, he was a little too close to the
short story to the point where you know, we get another Sterling Bottle episode
here. He wants everything to take place at this one location. It's economical
and makes sense. However, when Michael Bell and Cameron Mitchell get out of
the limo and he starts giving him the information he needs about this old woman,
I'm like, this conversation would have happened at the board room, right.
This is the tycoon who owns the entire company. Why is he even
here first of all to reason with this woman, Like he wouldn't have gotten
in the car without knowing the destination. So anyway, Just little things like
that bug me about it. Also, the ending works as far as the
lead character telling us what little green fingers will grow, which is little green
ladies. It's a shocking thing to read. Having the character speak it to
the camera might have been shocking as well, but it kind of does it.
I don't know, there's a weird disconnect there. Also. I was
hoping, because she planted her fingers that we were going to get several little
old ladies. Oh, and that would have been really horrified, And I
thought they kind of missed an opportunity there. But I love Elsa Lanchester.
I think she's fucking She's so great here, So I think I like this
one overall. It's just there was so much potential to make this a truly
frightening episode and a kind of close but no giant cigar to chop around while
you're talking. In the tycoon ees, I thought for sure we're going to
go into Jordi, veryl territory. At one point when she kept showing all
those plants, I was like, Oh, she's gonna plant him or well
he start to grow fu fungus or plants on him, But she leaves him
alone. Well, that's what the ending reminded me of with her in that
chair. It's that's like, oh, I could think of a Stephen King
and creep show. It's like, but in that it's done better, but
it's also given more time and that's the point of the story here. It's
I mean here, this reminded me of that Peter Cushing story from whatever it
was we did. Father Malone eons ago now has that right, okay,
but what it wasn't a was it monster club or what it was? It?
No, it was just tales from the Crypto movie, wasn't it.
This has that same feel. It's like a revenge It's ultimately a revenge story,
but the person who's getting the revenge is no longer there. I do
appreciate those kinds of stories, and I agree some of this is just like
telling, not showing for the sake of exposition for the audience, which is
fine, but it feels out of place. But Cameron Mitchell is such a
bastard bad guy. It's like, yeah, I like how over the top
he is. He's great, I do He's Yeah, I like how over
the top he is. It's fun. It makes the episode. Some of
these other ones where the villain is not as overstated because he's really it's he's
chewing the scenery every time he's on screen. Yeah, Elsa Lanchester is given
as good as she's getting in that department. So there they're of a piece.
It's just that, you know, ultimately, I'm sorry, Rod,
but it's overly written for no good reason. This is an atmosphere piece.
It's about a poor old woman potentially bleeding out by the way that could be
the reason of her death, and it didn't want to maybe overly dramatize that
necessarily, but that kind of what I took away from it anyway, I
thought. I ultimately I liked the segment, but it's oh, could have
been so much. But the music is great. The music is really good,
I agree, and it's shot beautifully. John Badham is it, you
know, just showing what he does well, which is he can put a
camera any We're give you a great scene. And I want to mention the
painting. I like the painting at the beginning, the one that they use
for this segment, I think is really effective as well and creepy. And
that's right here, which again they show one for essentially all of these.
Yeah, the somber silence of shrouds, the gray, unhappy light of a
sunless dawn, and the horse drawn casket very much in keeping with the motif
of this place. The title of the painting. All right, Our next
segment is called The Funeral. This is written by Richard Matheson, his second
segment his final segment. Here based on a short story by Richard Matheson and
directed by John Meredith Lucas. This one stars Werner Clemperer. We've already had
Bob Crane this season. If we get John Banner, we'll have the whole
Hogan's Heroes play set. It also stars Joe Flynn. We've already had Season
Romero this season, so if we get Kurt Russell, we'll have the entire
computer War tennis shoes played. This is a story about a funeral director who
receives an unusual request from an unusual guest late one evening. What do you
think of this one, Mike? This was so strange because this is a
blackout skit. You know, we talked, I think in the last episode
about well, this is a blackout skit that goes on for way too long.
The mutant kid that goes up to outer space. This one, this
is a blackout skit, I mean, and it's got all of these universal
monsters we keep talking about that. The one thing I'm surprised is there's no
Frankenstein in here. You even have a Wolfman going on in here. I
was very surprised that Werner Klemper was playing a vampire, since he is as
bald as a q ball. But you know, hey, I love it.
I love a baby. A bald vampire is kind of the new way
to go. So yeah, this went on for way too long. Kind
of like my explanation of this Spress flummix, that a blackout sketch was turned
into an actual episode segment, and especially this have we not seen this before
fucking four times now? Like why are we? Like it feels like they're
walking over the same ground and then stomping it down and then going in a
circle again and being like, I don't know who stopped that down last time.
You're just beating a dead horse with these blackout sketches. They're they're fine
as blackout sketches because they're two minutes, not ten. Holy shit. And
again, it's not even funny, it's not even entertaining. It's just kind
of weird. That's the word I would use, just kind of strange,
because I thought it like I knew where it was going, and we all
know where it's going, and it takes ten minutes to go there, and
it feels like it should have only taken two because every other time they do
this it does only take two minutes. I think if they put this in
the last episode, who is Harvey Jason supposed to be in this? I
was just saying, if we put this in the last episode, they could
have cut out the ten minutes of padding of the NASA footage and it would
have slotted in quite nicely. And I do agree with both of you that
this is just another blackout sketch stretched out to a ten minute lang, but
also a big surprise. The other Richard Mathieson segment was also basically a blackout
sketch, and I think they're both handled really well, so this one doesn't
bother me. It you know, it's it's a It is kind of a
one paneled joke, but getting to see Verna Klemper do something other than Colonel
Clink so well sort of made this one a winner in my book, and
that might that doesn't necessarily make me want to recommend this to anybody. But
if you've only been fed a steady diet of clink your entire life, it's
a nice ball to see Vernerd Klepper doing his thing. That's all. He
was great, And I hope I didn't miss quote the line the thing that
Harvey Jason keeps saying in here when he's like holding on to the Joe Flynn's
shoulders, he just doesn't keep saying like, oh, very tasty. He's
like trying to do type of thing all Harvey Jason Cannonball's own. Yeah,
Harvey lost world. No, j don't go into the long grass career,
Yeah, I think he's still around. Not realize. Don't go into the
long grass is a quote that I use often playing an Indian man in that
movie. A j Brown facing brown face was a thing even in Steven spielberg
movies. Folks, but wait, not the first time, because make them
laugh, make them laugh. Here in the Night Gallery we had what's his
name? I found out some interesting information about that. By the way,
gentlemen, to make me laugh episode that Spielberg directed. Initially, Evidently he
said that he planned the entire episode in two shots, shot the entire first
day and got one of those tanks down, so the entire first act was
one tank, and then had most of the second tank done, and then
came in the next day and was told we've lost all faith in you.
You've ruined your career here, and that they fired him, and then they
pieced the rest of the episode together with the other footage that he had sort
of done is like testing. So what we get there is not Steven Spielberg's
episode at all. An Spielberg I didn't have much of a career afterwards anyway,
So I think the right call was made. I know no one's crying
for him, but yeah, I mean imagine though, if imagine if he'd
been't given a break now, he wouldn't have wouldn't life, I promise,
much like Rod Serling, who had his name on this program that he did
not want his name on, you know, maybe Spielberg pretty anyway, that's
pretty crazy. I mean, that's pretty wild. That is wild. But
I mean the seventies television just seems like the Wild West Man, which I
kind of love, Like there is a little bit of that is gone now
we don't ask you to believe this particular painting, Death's Head, I'll bring
over juke box, but it does point up the all inclusive quality of the
occult. Random inspectors can be found not only in holden houses, but in
places you'd least expect to find them, places like this. Our painting is
called the Tune in Dan's Cafe, all right, But our final segment is
called the Tune in Dan's Cafe. This was written by Gerald Sandford and Gary
bateson short story by Shamus Fraser. This one was directed by David Rawlins.
Now you might notice a very distinctorial flair in this episode. That's because David
Rawlins this is the only segment of the show he directed. It's the only
segment of anything he directed ever, but he edited another twelve segments here on
Night Gallery. He was a TV editor pretty steadily up until Night Gallery,
having edited only a few features, not very memorable ones at that, But
that changed when frequent Night Gallery collaborator John M. Batham made the Bingo Long
Traveling All Stars and Motor Kings and then Saturday Night Fever, and David Rawlins
became a feature film editor after that, and the editing is actually really good
in this episode. This episode stars Pernell Roberts, Susan Oliver, and Brooke
Mills has read the dream Girl who is David Rawlins wife. This is don't
really have a description for this episode. Would either of you like to tell
the audience what this one was? Because I'm really then't I'm not saying that
the quality on the show was going down. I'm just saying more recently,
we've been getting episodes that seem to want to confound me, and this is
one of those. I'm just sitting back here waiting for somebody to explain it
to me. Can I be frank you guys, you guys remember when we
did Dreams for Sale. Yeah, that was a fun thing we did together.
That was a lark. We got to talk about George R. Martin
shows episodes and we got to talk about an episode towards correct me if I'm
wrong the end of that show, and I'm trying to remember the name of
the episode. Maybe one of you two could could help me out here.
Where there's like a car that the people get inside, yeah, and then
like things happen when they're inside the car, but not when they're outside the
car. You guys remember this bush Okay, that bullshiteah Okay, this had
that same stink on it where it's like someone unpacking some sort of personal trauma
on screen for the rest of us and not realizing that you can't do that
without being entertaining or at least explaining what the fuck's going on. Best I
can tell. What's going on here is a couple who is fighting go to
a diner or a bar that's closing and or possibly already closed, and these
two are together and they're clearly in the process of breaking up or possibly breaking
up. So the husband goes to play a song on the jukebox, to
play their song, not the Elton John song, but a song that's important
to the couple, and instead, for whatever reason, a song comes on
the jukebox that was being played by another couple who were Bonnie and Clyde or
like natural born killers. They were like bank robbers, I guess, yeah,
or like one of them was and the other one didn't know. I
guess the woman isn't but the guy is like a thief. And yeah,
I don't know much from there. All I know is the way the episode
ends is I guess the ghost of the woman goes and sees his dead body,
and or we're seeing what happened when this happened. This is just fucked,
is what this is. I tried, Okay, I try, Okay,
I tried. I'm glad that it wasn't just me. I was like,
am I losing my mind? What is happening here? Yeah? Just
that and the aggravation of a song playing over and over and over again.
I thought I was in that John mulaney skit where he's talking about putting What's
New Pussycat. Honestly, that's all I could think of when I saw this
that I would have preferred What's New? Oh Boy? Yeah, especially it's
such a Sacharin country song. The only good thing about the music in this
episode about that song choice is at the end when they transition outside and it's
the same tune playing now and it's score music, but it's a harmonica playing
the same music. I thought that was nice. I like when movies do
that. The theme can change and adapt from scene to scene. That's my
only plotted for this particular episode, though. So that song, which is
called if You Leave Me Tonight, I'll cry shocking, I know, was
created for the show by Gerald Sandford and the music director Hal Moody, and
then they brought someone in to sing it, and because it was so popular,
he recorded the song, like, actually recorded the song so popular with
who people were calling into the radio asking for the song from that Night Gallery
episode. Wow, yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
I would sol the radio station say, don't ever play this song.
Jerry Wallace is the guy who they brought in and he recorded it and it
became a hit. Yeah. Wow, mmm, insanity of it? Well,
what's crazy about it is? I was It's pretty far down if you
google information about it. But this is all on a guitar for him.
Because someone is asking about the song and someone chimes back in with all this
information like they know because they probably do, so Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
But at the same time, go, look, the song doesn't exist
until afterwards. But what's funny is I mentioned all this because the song is
awful? Yes, And I can't tell if it's because it's actually bad or
because I had to hear it eight million times. Yeah. I was happy
to see Pernell Roberts And this is kind of in that transitory time between Adam
Bonanza and then Trapper John m D on the show of the same name,
where I'm like, oh, I can actually see how we went from young
handsome Adam to Cartwright to trapper John MD with this. This is the missing
link of Parnell Roberts Roles, is what I'm trying to say. And I
was on speaking of him because I think he's really good in the episode,
and when it starts and it's this couple, they're obviously breaking up, and
this is obviously like some last ditch effort that he's concocted in order to save
their marriage. This is this long distance trip and the utter desperation putting the
song on to try and rekindle some spark with his wife. I was fully
on board. And then it turns into some bullshit where the song keeps playing
by itself to the jukebox. No matter how many times the owner has replaced
the juke box, it will always play this song somehow. And it relates
back to as you said, Chris, this like Bonnie and Clyde like situation
where a young couple were on the run and she earned him in for the
money, and this was their song, and the cops showed up and shot
him up. The editing and the sequence is great. I gotta say,
it's really it's a step above the ordinary Night Gallery episode. Anyway. So
he's killed, and so this is I guess the story of a song that
plays because these lovers were never going to reunite. But it's not that story.
She fucking basically murdered him by sicking the cops on him. And then
this couple now has learned a lesson somehow based on this story that they're told
and this jukebox that magically plays the same fucking stupid song over and over again,
that they're going to rekindle their love. Now, I think that's what
they were trying to tell me. That's why it was so confounding. I
don't get it. I still don't get it. Anyway, Purnell Roberts was
good. Is it more or less confounding than the amount of weeks that this
song featured in this episode spent on the Billboard Hot Country Singles Chart? Terrified
to note two whoa two which is more than zero, which is what the
should be, and it sold eight hundred thousand copies as a single. Wow,
So we're wrong, folks. My opinion here is incorrect based on financial
capitalism that this episode, I guess prompted what's crazy is like I can't even
imagine watching this episode and saying, oh, the song. I want to
hear more of the song past the part that they looped over and over again,
because I don't understand how anyone could not find it as obnoxious and off
putting as the three of us did, to the point of I want to
hear more of that. Please here, just jam the ice pit further into
my fucking ear where Chris, don't you realize that this is a huge song
to mimic on TikTok. Oh? No, okay, it's an actual song,
which means you can't mimic it on TikTok. There isn't an explanation at
least that the people who bought it did not have to listen to only the
first twenty seconds and then the skipping of the word death over and over again.
Yeah, go listen to the single, although I implore you it doesn't
get much better. Have you listen to it? Chris? Yeah, it's
just it's that warbly Hank Williams country music that I that like over singing is
just no thanks. And I actually like country music just fine. I'm not
one of those like I hate country music dickheads, like I don't mind country
music at all, But that kind of heehaws shit I don't like. And
it's and again like it doesn't help. This episode's like overall problem, which
is what's the point at least with tell David, I get what you're getting
at I got it. I don't necessarily find what you're saying entertaining in this.
It's like, what are what? What is going on here? I
do like hehaws shit, But I didn't really care for this just because of
the repetition. It's a terrible song and a terrible episode. I don't care
how many units it's sold. You know, once upon a time, Yeah,
Who's Serious was popular in this country? Oh for good reason? Yeah,
for sure, I saw young Einstein in the theater, folks. Pauly
Shart was popular at one point. It's right when he was squeezing the juice,
wheezing the juiceeezing. That's squeezing, so silly. Father alone, Since
you're always the one who's read the short story, I want to ask you,
did you read the short story for this? No? Yeah, I
was curious, and I did so unapologetically because there's nothing that short story was
going to tell me beyond what we got here. I don't care how they
concocted it. I'm just curious that the short story actually has a point.
I wouldn't count on it. Let's hope's I there was something. Maybe it's
just the part about the song and it's not the trappings around it, and
that stuff was added for the show, That's what I wonder, because like
the tune in Dan's cafe, like some of it, the wife and husband
don't need to be there. That doesn't add anything. So that's more what
I was getting at, Like that stuff feels extraneous to the story that they're
telling. If you take the story of just the couple and there's the song
and it's this weird kind of thing, kind of like there wasn't there an
episode where there was like a guy playing country music in a bar and it
was like, don't don't go murder your wife because you're jealoust. You guys
know what I'm talking about. Like that was a thing. Yeah, yeah,
like that's it. This had that quality to it. If you just
drop away the fighting bickering couple, which ultimately the narrative doesn't serve, and
they don't serve the narrative because like, we don't know why they're there,
and they don't add anything to the proceedings that may actually be entertaining or interesting.
At least these presented interestingly. Like you said, father Moode, it's
a not bad to look at, but to be honest, this show I'm
good. I mean, it's it's the same thing. Where was that good
old jealous and kill your wife? Where was that until David, I've played
this song for you, ding ding, don't kill your husband? I mean,
I can't stand their music. Get it out of here, all right,
We're going to play a preview of the next episode and we'll be right
back to wrap things up. Painting number one, having to do with the
fisherman and what they fish for, or, more specifically, in this case,
a fisherman and what he wasn't fishing for. What appeared in his nut
one afternoon defies logic, reason, and belief, But there it was Lindeman's
catch, a dead man splattered on a concrete walk. Not the most appetizing
of scenes and not the pleasantest of stories. But if you're interested remotely in
homie homicides, this may be your bag. We call it the late mister
Pettington in the general generic area of costume jewelry. Note girl and note expression.
Obviously a lady much disturbed by whatever little babbles she has recently been the
recipient of it, said sentence improperly ending on a preposition. But this story
ending on a much more deadly note than that. We call it a feast
of blood. That's right. On the next episode of Midnight Viewing, we'll
be taking a look at season two, episode sixteen that's broken into three segments,
Lindemann's Catch, a Feast of Blood, and the Late mister Pettington.
Until then, where can people find everybody? Everybody? I'm gonna ask you,
Mike White, you do the honors. I will tell you where de
Guaymedia dot Com. That's the place for everything. Just go there and enjoy.
We put on a lot of good shows where you folks. I kind
that sounded like a threat initially, I will tell you whoa look, we're
having a sale. Okay, geez, hear me now and believe me later.
All right, listen, thank you all for joining us. Here at
midnight viewing. The gallery is now closed.