1 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:06,200 I got a job in San Diego not too long after the pandemic settled. 2 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:12,359 It was in exciting time, but I was also anxious about finding a place 3 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:17,359 to live. I didn't have that much saved up, so I had to 4 00:00:17,399 --> 00:00:22,559 find somewhere a bit more lenient to newcomers. I signed up to all kinds 5 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:26,679 of lists and tenant groups, but most leads were dead in the water. 6 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,759 The only places within my price range had in a no pets policy, and 7 00:00:32,799 --> 00:00:38,159 I couldn't bring myself to rehne my cat, Marmalade. Poor thing was just 8 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:44,719 a year old and a complete Marma's girl. After weeks of searching, I 9 00:00:44,799 --> 00:00:49,679 stumbled upon a landlord with a vacant spot. He hadn't even got the time 10 00:00:49,719 --> 00:00:54,159 to list it. All I'd seen was a post about a cheap apartment. 11 00:00:55,640 --> 00:01:00,520 I messaged him spontaneously and asked about it. Turned out out the previous tenant 12 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:06,400 had passed away. It was on the fourth floor, not too far off 13 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:12,480 Main Street, and surprisingly cheap cap friendly too. He offered me a deal. 14 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:19,480 If I paid for the clean up crew, the place was mine. 15 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:25,079 I couldn't say no. Once the place was cleaned up, I met up 16 00:01:25,079 --> 00:01:30,200 with my new landlord and got the keys handed to me. My new place 17 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:34,000 was on the top floor of this beautiful old building made somewhere back in the 18 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:41,239 fifties, cool stone, tarred floors, spacious ceiling, and plenty of sunlight 19 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:46,799 coming in from the body sized windows. There was a sort of French balcony 20 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:51,879 with a little space to smoke or a mini garden. There was a large 21 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:56,719 living room area, a tiny kitchenette, and a cramped little bedroom on the 22 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:02,120 sunny side. It wasn't much, but I could see myself growing attached to 23 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:08,240 it. You could tell it was old, though. There were all kinds 24 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:14,280 of little quirks, a lock that you had to jiggle, pipes that rumbled 25 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,879 a little whenever you took a shower, and you could immediately tell if one 26 00:02:17,879 --> 00:02:24,280 of your neighbors was smoking because of the terrible ventilation. It was far from 27 00:02:24,319 --> 00:02:30,479 perfect, but for that price at that location, I couldn't ask for a 28 00:02:30,479 --> 00:02:36,759 better deal. The one thing that dated it more than anything else, however, 29 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:44,680 was the strange seventies wallpaper. This intricate floral pattern covered most of the 30 00:02:44,759 --> 00:02:50,199 living room along with the western wall of the bedroom. A dark gray bass 31 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:57,479 collar with lines of white rose tulips, sunflowers, all in variations of silver 32 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:02,919 and blue. Beautiful in a sort of primitive Art Deco kind of way, 33 00:03:05,039 --> 00:03:09,240 but you could tell it was old. I promised myself to get it replaced 34 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:15,599 if I were to live there long term. It didn't take long to move 35 00:03:15,599 --> 00:03:20,080 in. I didn't have much in the way of furniture, and I didn't 36 00:03:20,159 --> 00:03:23,840 really have the money to bring in something new. I figured i'd settle for 37 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:29,280 what little I had for the time being, instead of focusing on getting used 38 00:03:29,319 --> 00:03:34,479 to my new job. I was working as a full time consultant for a 39 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:40,479 telecom company, mostly focusing on process management and evaluation. Might not sound that 40 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:46,159 interesting, but you get a lot of wiggle room to really switch things up 41 00:03:46,199 --> 00:03:51,960 for the better. Postpandemic. We were on a routine of a single weekly 42 00:03:52,039 --> 00:03:58,080 meeting and the rest could and would be done from our home office. It 43 00:03:58,159 --> 00:04:01,280 felt kind of done to force people to come in once a week just because, 44 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:08,879 but if I wanted the job, that was the deal. Marmalade got 45 00:04:08,879 --> 00:04:13,680 settled in that place long before I did. She found a sunny spot next 46 00:04:13,719 --> 00:04:17,040 to one of the big windows. I set up a cozy basket for her 47 00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:21,920 to snuggle into. I, on the other hand, was having trouble sleeping 48 00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:28,040 those first few nights. I lay awake at night staring at the ceiling. 49 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:33,079 I'd lose myself in that view, sort of like when you're looking down into 50 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:39,600 dark waters. You can't really see where it ends. It is just this 51 00:04:39,759 --> 00:04:46,959 perpetual nothing, and you can imagine it continuing forever. That first week went 52 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:53,160 by in a flash. I had my first meeting and got my first assignment 53 00:04:54,079 --> 00:05:00,319 process assessment at one of the branch offices in Pittsburgh, long distance than in 54 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:04,600 person evaluation at the end of a two month cycle. Nothing I couldn't handle, 55 00:05:05,759 --> 00:05:12,560 but said office had a sort of reputation for being unmanageable. It was 56 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,959 the kind of assignment you throw at someone to see if they got the chops 57 00:05:15,959 --> 00:05:21,279 for it long term. That first day was mostly meet and greets, with 58 00:05:21,399 --> 00:05:27,399 a tiny after work at one of the shek downtown bars. It was mostly 59 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:31,160 an excuse the crack a few cold ones, and on Monday, my colleagues 60 00:05:31,319 --> 00:05:35,720 were a few decibels louder than I was used to, so I ended up 61 00:05:35,759 --> 00:05:42,560 sitting mostly in the background, learning to appreciate a small label dark punkin Ale. 62 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:48,480 The next day, I was in full work mode. I set up 63 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:53,879 my laptop with a view of my awful wallpaper to make it look a bit 64 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:59,279 more office like. Marmalade wasn't moving from a new favorite spot by the window, 65 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,040 so there were no fuffy tales in the way of my webcam. I 66 00:06:03,079 --> 00:06:08,639 had a long talk with the branch manager, along with a few technicians, 67 00:06:08,879 --> 00:06:13,639 to just sort of dip my toe in the water. They were all courteous 68 00:06:13,759 --> 00:06:16,839 enough, but I could tell they had been put through the ringer a couple 69 00:06:16,879 --> 00:06:23,360 of times. This wasn't their first assignment, and it wouldn't be their last. 70 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,720 By the end of the day, I was talking with one of the 71 00:06:28,759 --> 00:06:33,720 salesmen, a woman named Deirdre. At that point, i'd been in constant 72 00:06:33,759 --> 00:06:40,759 zoom calls for over four hours and my voice was giving out. Deirdre could 73 00:06:40,759 --> 00:06:45,759 tell I was exhausted, and we just ended up talking about other things instead, 74 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,560 my apartment, my job, my cat. I had to bother Marmalade 75 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:57,720 a bit just to show off. Deirdre showed off her feline companion, a 76 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:03,000 three year old rag doll named Popeye. Ironically, that call ended up being 77 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:11,439 my longest, but it went by the fastest Deirdre was a gem. I 78 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:15,360 spent most of my time setting up questionnaires and mapping out the overall structure, 79 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,879 bouncing emails all the way down the supply chain, trying to get a clear 80 00:07:20,959 --> 00:07:26,920 picture of the main issues. It was the same old story that I'd heard 81 00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:32,199 a hundred times before, management blaming the salesman, the salesman blaming the warehouse, 82 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:39,240 and the warehouse blaming the technicians. There were little hitches all the way 83 00:07:39,279 --> 00:07:46,680 down the road, ranging from dated inventory systems to useless red tape. After 84 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,360 the first few days, I started getting into a routine pingponging between meetings and 85 00:07:51,439 --> 00:07:59,120 Excel spreadsheets. Marmalade and I made their apartment into a proper home. Chinese 86 00:07:59,199 --> 00:08:03,000 tacot boxes started lining the kitchenette, and I had a few extra talks with 87 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:09,720 Deirdre just to pass the slow hours. I started getting used to that place, 88 00:08:09,519 --> 00:08:15,560 even the awful wallpaper. I stopped hearing the rumbling pipes after a while, 89 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:20,319 and the cigarette smoke from the neighbor slowly blended into the background smells. 90 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:26,879 I stopped waking from cars passing on the street below, and my first paycheck 91 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:31,080 went into making the living room walk like something that could actually be lived in. 92 00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:39,759 I remember one night when I was working overtime, I got a late 93 00:08:39,879 --> 00:08:43,720 email about submitting a progress report, so I had to stay up making a 94 00:08:43,759 --> 00:08:50,399 presentation. I found myself by the opinion that this was looking more and more 95 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:54,039 like a management issue. Who the hell sends this kind of email at four 96 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:58,720 fifty pm on a Thursday, expecting it to be done before lunch the next 97 00:08:58,759 --> 00:09:05,679 day? Unbelievable. I was done by about ten pm. When I shambled 98 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:11,080 away from my laptop. I picked up a can of cat food for Marmalade 99 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:18,879 and walked over to a favorite window. Only she wasn't there. Her bed 100 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:24,679 was still there, but Marmalade had moved to another window, still sleeping soundly, 101 00:09:26,639 --> 00:09:31,039 but she found a new favorite spot. It felt strange in a way, 102 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:37,159 like the entire apartment had shifted a little. Looking up at the wallpaper, 103 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:43,679 I could have sworn the patterns had moved. It looked identical, just 104 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:50,639 a bit off. I could have sworn it was different despite looking exactly the 105 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:58,960 same. It was a strange feeling. Everything felt familiar with that one little 106 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:05,519 twist made it feel like a new room. Or starting to doubt myself when 107 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:11,399 looking at Marmalade out of a basket. However, it was clear that something 108 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:20,200 was different in some way. The next few days I started to notice this 109 00:10:20,279 --> 00:10:24,639 shift in new ways. The walls would look different at night. Where at 110 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:28,519 one point I'd see a sunflower, I'd see a rose the next day. 111 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:35,240 Then again, I wasn't ever really sure, and I chalked it up to 112 00:10:35,279 --> 00:10:41,879 me just not paying attention. Marmalade would move from spot to spot, never 113 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:46,200 really sure what her favorite ever was. One night, she couldn't settle in 114 00:10:46,399 --> 00:10:52,639 at all, instead moving from one window to the next, yawing at me 115 00:10:52,879 --> 00:10:58,240 anxiously. That night, as I lay awake, I had my eyes firmly 116 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:03,799 fixed on the wall. I could imagine the patterns moving on their own, 117 00:11:03,519 --> 00:11:09,080 the many flowers gently swaying to an invisible wind. It was just that kind 118 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:15,679 of unreal surrealist thought you catch just before you fall asleep. But in that 119 00:11:15,799 --> 00:11:22,000 moment I could have sworn it was real living. Even as I closed my 120 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:28,240 eyes, I imagined the dark gray background color to be as deep as an 121 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:37,879 ocean, a darkness stretching into a distant nothing. The next day, as 122 00:11:37,919 --> 00:11:43,440 I was making my morning coffee, I noticed something peculiar I stepped on a 123 00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:48,960 dry blue petal. I couldn't explain where it came from. I had no 124 00:11:50,039 --> 00:11:54,480 flowers in my apartment, and the ventilation was so bad that it could barely 125 00:11:54,559 --> 00:12:01,759 rotate. Air flower petals were out of the question. Marmalade played with it 126 00:12:01,799 --> 00:12:05,879 for a while, and I convinced myself that it was just something I dragged 127 00:12:05,879 --> 00:12:11,639 in. Still, it reminded me of a flower pedal from the Blue Rose 128 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:18,120 and the wallpaper. He made me anxious, but I couldn't figure out why. 129 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:22,759 What was I even worried about. I couldn't let that thought go for 130 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:28,720 the rest of the day, that I was missing something obvious, or maybe 131 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:33,600 that there really was something to my strange paranoia. So at the end of 132 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:39,279 the day, when I talked to Deirdre, I brought it up. I 133 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:45,600 explained that there was just something inherently creepy about living there, like an uncomfortable 134 00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:50,919 thought tickling your neck when you're not looking. Deirdre tried to reassure me her 135 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:56,440 chuckle coming through my headphones. It takes time, love, she said, 136 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:03,000 you just got here. Besides, everything looks strange in the dark. Yeah, 137 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:07,679 I just can't shake the feeling, you know, I explained, like 138 00:13:07,759 --> 00:13:15,879 there's something more to it, like what. I didn't know what to answer. 139 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:20,600 As I stepped into the living room, I noticed Marmalade rolling on the 140 00:13:20,639 --> 00:13:26,639 living room carpet, casually playing with another blue petal. Turning on the lights, 141 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:33,559 I could see more of them, over a dozen dry blue petals lining 142 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:39,039 the edge of the wall. Finally, I could tell I wasn't going crazy. 143 00:13:39,279 --> 00:13:46,519 This wasn't a one time deal. That was real. Marmalade didn't seem 144 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:50,480 to mind, though. I'm going to have to get back to you, 145 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:56,679 I told Deirdre. Something came up. As the call ended, I started 146 00:13:56,759 --> 00:14:01,399 scooping up the petals by hand. The moment my knees hit the floor, 147 00:14:03,639 --> 00:14:07,519 there was a power surge. It was all so quick. A flash of 148 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:15,200 black Marmalade hissed, looking straight past me. I could hear a rustling noise, 149 00:14:15,799 --> 00:14:20,440 like a large animal moving through a brush. As quick as it had 150 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:26,200 come, it went, leaving only a startled cat and my elevated pulse behind. 151 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:33,320 The lights were slapped back on with a click, blinding me. Marmalade 152 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:37,200 retreated to behind the couch while I picked up the rest of the petals. 153 00:14:39,759 --> 00:14:45,480 For a moment I just stood there, staring at the many patterns, petals 154 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:50,559 in hand. I could imagine the gray sinking deeper and deeper, showing me 155 00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:54,679 something past the obvious, like one of those images you have to look at 156 00:14:54,759 --> 00:15:01,360 cross eyed to see the truth. I had the same sensation, like I 157 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:07,279 was missing something obvious. I can imagine hearing things deep in an imagined forest. 158 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:13,120 I could hear branches snapping, I could imagine the blue flowers swaying in 159 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:22,279 the wind, and somewhere in that depthless dark, something roamed, something looking 160 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:28,240 for an exit. At some point I snapped to attention. There was a 161 00:15:28,279 --> 00:15:37,799 loud electronic noise and alarm. It was already morning. For some alien reason, 162 00:15:39,679 --> 00:15:43,480 I'd been stuck there for hours, just staring at the hypnotizing patterns, 163 00:15:45,759 --> 00:15:52,039 an entire night's rest gone. It wasn't until I stepped away that I realized 164 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:56,679 just how exhausted I really was. My legs had locked in place, killing 165 00:15:56,759 --> 00:16:02,879 me over straight to the stone tiled living room floor. Marmalade rushed over, 166 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:07,559 worried about this sudden development. I spent a few minutes just sitting there, 167 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:14,919 calming myself down. The ringing from my cell phone was going strong, trying 168 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:19,360 to give me enough time to shower before my first morning meetings. And yet 169 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:26,840 I just sat there, slowly petting my cat, my eyes bobbing in and 170 00:16:26,879 --> 00:16:33,080 out of sleep. My body deprived. Where had I been all night? 171 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:38,639 What had I seen? I barely made it through that day, having a 172 00:16:38,639 --> 00:16:44,840 forty five minute nap over lunch. By the time I finished my last interview, 173 00:16:45,519 --> 00:16:49,759 I was a shell of my old self, barely conscious. I filled 174 00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:55,279 Marmalade's food and water bowl and crawled into bed with all my clothes still on 175 00:16:56,039 --> 00:17:03,000 the moment my eyes closed, i'd hear something in the distance. In the 176 00:17:03,079 --> 00:17:10,319 half world between sleeping and waking, I heard breaking branches, owls taking flight, 177 00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:17,519 and something large approaching. And despite knowing I was well and truly alone, 178 00:17:18,319 --> 00:17:22,319 my body screamed at me to wake, to have one more lock, 179 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:33,400 just in case I did. I forced my eyes open. Something sharp scratched 180 00:17:33,559 --> 00:17:38,880 against the stone tarred floor, something retreating in haste, A trail of dry 181 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:47,079 petals leading right up to the side of my bed. After a night of 182 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:52,359 dream asleep, I woke up to choking on something. It took me almost 183 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:57,119 a full minute to cough up a blue petal several of which had been sprinkled 184 00:17:57,119 --> 00:18:03,480 throughout my bed. I could have sworn the wallpaper looked a bit lighter, 185 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:11,279 as if several flowers were looking sparse. The whole wall looked a bit darker. 186 00:18:12,839 --> 00:18:17,799 That morning, I'd had enough. I called in sick and brought up 187 00:18:17,799 --> 00:18:22,839 my tool box. I started scraping off the wallpaper, piece by piece, 188 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:27,519 across the entire apartment. I made a day of it, listening to music 189 00:18:27,799 --> 00:18:33,920 as Marmalade looked at me curiously. Every illustrated petal and stem dropped to the 190 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:41,160 floor, cut by cut, like trimming a paper garden. By the end 191 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:45,319 of the day, my wall was laid bare, revealing nothing but black lead 192 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:52,480 painted concrete underneath. That night, after a long shower, I went to 193 00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:59,759 sleep with wallpaper remains still lining the edge of the room. Finally I could, 194 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:07,519 I could look past the hypnotizing patterns. It was done, gone over, 195 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:17,680 Except it wasn't. As I went to sleep, my eyes drifted to 196 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:23,319 the barren walls, a black, eternal night, now unhindered by what little 197 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:29,960 paper thin barrier had been erected. Just looking at it gave me that feeling 198 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:34,720 in my stomach like I was falling forward, even closing my eyes felt brighter 199 00:19:34,759 --> 00:19:40,480 than staring into it, like it was more than a color a place. 200 00:19:41,599 --> 00:19:47,519 At some point in the night, I heard this loud yell. Looking up, 201 00:19:47,839 --> 00:19:52,279 I could see Marmalade sitting at the edge of my bed, staring straight 202 00:19:52,319 --> 00:19:59,119 at the wall, hissing and raising a hackles. Looking straight ahead, I 203 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:07,119 saw something there, deep in the dark of the bare wall. Something moved. 204 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:11,839 I swooped up Marmalade, who clung to my shoulder like a parrot. 205 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:17,480 I threw in my pants shirt and got my bag. I'd had enough. 206 00:20:18,599 --> 00:20:22,319 I wasn't about to stick around to find out the depths of what was either 207 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:30,079 my own sanity or something unnatural entirely I didn't want to know. As I 208 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:36,720 entered the living room, I stopped dead in my tracks. Every single wall 209 00:20:37,079 --> 00:20:41,240 had turned a midnight black. The windows had fogged up from the inside, 210 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:47,240 blocking the moonlight from peeking in. I ran my hand along the wall, 211 00:20:47,599 --> 00:20:55,720 looking for the door. Something cold bumped against the palm of my hand a 212 00:20:55,880 --> 00:21:03,799 finger. I recoiled, almost dropping Marmalade in surprise. I couldn't see my 213 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:08,480 door. As I looked around trying to find my bearings, I slowly came 214 00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:15,000 to the realization that nothing was quite as it should. The kitchenette was further 215 00:21:15,039 --> 00:21:19,960 away, the windows were further apart. The proportions of the room were off 216 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:26,039 and seemingly shifting every time I blinked. It was as if everything in that 217 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:33,200 darkness was untrue, malleable, subtly shifting as soon as I looked away, 218 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:41,799 and so was I. Looking down at my hands, they seemed different with 219 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,440 every blink of my eye. They could be older, younger, scarred, 220 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:52,359 masculine. It was impossible to tell. It was just diffuse enough for an 221 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:56,279 anxious mind to fill in the blanks. But it felt like more than that. 222 00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:00,759 It wasn't just the fear of the dark. It was the dark changing 223 00:22:00,839 --> 00:22:07,720 me. Finally, I fumbled my way to the front door. I pulled 224 00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:15,160 it open, and there was nothing, just the solid black nothing. The 225 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:21,640 apartment was getting darker, even the windows were turning black. The kitchen sink 226 00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:26,960 was running, pushing forth dark, nondescript globes, all of which had this 227 00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:34,200 peculiar chemical smell like ammonia. Marmalade was freaking out. She clung to me, 228 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:40,480 digging her claws into my shirt, hissing at something in the dark whenever 229 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:45,680 I turned around, the room would look different, swallowed further and further by 230 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:52,160 the night. I could see vague silhouette hands reaching forward, some small, 231 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:57,480 some impossibly large. I can imagine creatures the size of skyscrapers, tiring forward, 232 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:03,880 impish, little nipping at my heels. I curled into a ball on 233 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:10,160 the floor, clutching marmalade close to my chest. Together we stared down anything 234 00:23:10,279 --> 00:23:15,960 and everything, creeping closer. But I was losing My light was dying. 235 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:26,599 It was all going dark. Then I felt a rumble. I'd forgotten my 236 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:30,640 phone was still in my pants, bringing it out. I had a new 237 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:36,119 message from Deirdre, the little screen lighting up, a little bubble around me. 238 00:23:37,319 --> 00:23:41,160 I wasn't even on the floor anymore. I was sitting on a pile 239 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,960 of dry grass and blue petals, and I could see the edge of a 240 00:23:45,039 --> 00:23:49,720 dead field stretching out around me in all directions. A wind cut through me 241 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:56,000 like cold glass. And there really were things moving out there, some big, 242 00:23:56,240 --> 00:24:02,119 some small, all vague and horrifying, waiting for me to look away 243 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:06,920 long enough to take shape. Hey, Ann, I heard you were feeling 244 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,599 under the weather, so I just wanted to check in, get plenty of 245 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:17,960 rest. We'll talk soon, it played again and again. I filled my 246 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:22,440 head with a voice and my eyes with that little light the phone struggled to 247 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:29,039 provide. I could feel Marmalade's pulls beating against my neck. Something would brush 248 00:24:29,079 --> 00:24:34,440 against me, a light kick against my foot, footsteps rushing past. I 249 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:41,599 saw nothing, but they were there, hidden in the dark. We'll talk 250 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:48,440 soon, deatrous message repeated for the tenth time. I don't know how long 251 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:53,680 I sat there, just waiting for the dark to pass, but nothing came 252 00:24:53,720 --> 00:25:02,240 of it. The battery was dying. As it reached the final few percentages 253 00:25:02,279 --> 00:25:07,319 of power. There was little left for me to do. The light was 254 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:12,359 shrinking. I couldn't hear Dedre's message anymore. Marmalade was yelling like crazy, 255 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:19,279 hissing and striking at something unseen. As the screen died, I felt the 256 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:25,680 chill of the world descend on me. In the silence, I could feel 257 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:32,920 something approaching, something careful and calculated. I couldn't see it, but I 258 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:41,359 could feel it smiling at me, leering eager. I was panicking. My 259 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:47,039 skin fell like ice, and I couldn't feel my fingers. I held Marmalade 260 00:25:47,079 --> 00:25:51,720 close to me, and in a last ditch effort, I flung my phone 261 00:25:51,799 --> 00:25:57,319 into the dark. Glass shattered. I'd thrown it through the window next to 262 00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:06,039 the little French balcony. A beam of morning light broke through. I turned 263 00:26:06,079 --> 00:26:12,200 around to an empty apartment, the layout exactly as I'd remembered it, the 264 00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:18,200 kitchenette still running, torn down, wallpaper lining the edges of the room, 265 00:26:18,599 --> 00:26:23,640 Marmalade's favorite bed still by the window, and the many Chinese takeout boxes still 266 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:32,359 left unattended, just as it should be, except every inch of the room 267 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:40,920 was covered in dry blue flower petals. Needless to say, I didn't stick 268 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:45,519 around for long. I moved out to the branch office where Deirdre worked and 269 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:52,680 ended up staying there. We're still best friends to this day. I haven't 270 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,920 been able to talk to a lot of people about what happened that night. 271 00:26:56,079 --> 00:27:00,720 I get the sense that whatever lived in that dark space was just waiting for 272 00:27:00,799 --> 00:27:07,039 someone to tear down that barrier, that hedge of flowers and patterns, something 273 00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:15,279 waiting to pull me into a dark place, never to return. Poor Marmalade 274 00:27:15,519 --> 00:27:19,519 hasn't been the same since. Her fur has turned a matted orange, and 275 00:27:19,559 --> 00:27:26,240 she's a lot clingier than before. She's okay though, she's a happy cat, 276 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:32,680 but it'd be a lie to say she hasn't changed. The same can 277 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:37,119 be said about me. It isn't a single obvious thing, but I feel 278 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:42,400 like there are things about me that aren't the same. My eyes look darker, 279 00:27:42,799 --> 00:27:48,680 my fingers longer, my teeth sharper and whiter. She just enough for 280 00:27:48,799 --> 00:27:56,400 me to notice and remember. In my new place, my sleep with the 281 00:27:56,480 --> 00:28:03,119 lights on, I try, nodded, look too closely at the wallpaper, 282 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,200 just in case.