Comedy Central Podcast. I' m so glad you' re here. I
' m so glad to be here recording for Comedy Central. I was about
to cancel it because I spent a really hard week and I didn' t
see myself able to come today, but I had said yes. We buried
my grandmother yesterday. She became furious, for I had fifteen fifteen according to
it was a very nice burial. It was a very nice burial. We
didn' t want the typical funeral. We wanted something a little more hipster.
We put straw balls everywhere. I' ve been looking at coffins for
days Now I' ve had banners of coffins whenever I sailed, but a
nice funeral. My cousin Rubén threw my grandfather' s body back to see
who was taking it. Yesterday I was the first of the family to die
all. I am, I am, I am sorry to start with such
a subject, so good, so hard, no, but it seems that
death haunts me. Two weeks ago, Abby, Abby is a character I
just put in the monologue. He' s my partner. I was talking
to her and I told her I was on the terrace. We have a
terrace, because well, a terrace and I saw that the cat had killed
a bird and I told him ab the character from before I think Sauron killed
a little bird. It' s what the cat' s name is and
he told me he' d be dead. And I looked at him and
told him if he' s acting. It' s the best performance I
' ve ever seen. You' re at the level of that time that
a few months ago Alex Baldwin had to pretend to shoot someone and kill?
He had to pretend to shoot someone and he killed the director of photography.
I know there' s already the comic. There' s a comic in
the audience, the prior kind of audience possible has made. This is the
symbol that you' ve made a joke that well, it' s true.
It' s a subject. Not bad. It' s wrong to
make jokes about the situation in Aleppo. It' s a pretty dramatic situation.
In fact, he has suffered several nervous breakdowns, one depression and,
in fact, this morning he tried to commit suicide and killed another. Director
of Photography. It' s twenty? It' s twenty? Twenty?
Twenty? He' s got 20 directors of photography on his own, not
that they were directors of photography in Hollywood. I don' t know if
you' ve seen. All the movies are dark because of Alex Baldwin.
Okay. I' m sorry to start on such delicate subjects. I used
to, in my long career as a comedian, I used to get on
stage full of energy, I used to say how you motherfuckers are. That
was my line, how you motherfuckers are. But a few months ago I
was performing in the Yegua with Chistera, a little house in Malaga and when
I left it went very well. How are you after whore? The audience
is very excited. I go out to the parking lot and I see two
girls follow me in the clearing myself in the parking lot two girls follow me.
I thought here you were canceled and I was told we' re not
dealing with two feminists and that you were a sexist and I' m talking
to them open to whatever they might be good at proposing to me. And
it' s true and I' ve been advised some books and I'
ve been reading about feminism and it' s true, I mean, you
can' t go on stage and say how you son of a bitch,
because she' s a sexist. You, what you have to do is
go out on stage and say how you' re sons and daughters of bitches,
because if you' re not invisibilizing the woman, no, no,
you can' t, you can' t do that I' ve been,
I' ve been reading enough about feminism and if I' ve understood
it correctly, feminism doesn' t have to look at it well. Feminism
doesn' t look that bad. It is not so much that they seek
equality between men and women as killing all men and me people. I don
' t like it then that there are half the people for me ok,
that is, it' s a first step for me well apart, I
would probably be one of the last men to die because they would pass feminist
patrols through the streets and they would say there' s some man around here
and I, with my voice I would say they wouldn' t say,
thank you, sister, and they would go, they would go up the
street, they would go up the street with their nikov coves and no.
But if all men died, that would extinguish the human race. I could
say some ignorant, false, false, if all men were murdered, the
human race would not be extinguished, because there is a lot of frozen semen.
There is a lot of frozen semen, and feminists could continue to breed
humans from all those fine arts students for generations and generations. I explain all
this in my next book, which is called Kui. What does feminism explain
to you? What does the editorial feminism Lumen Sale explain to you next December,
because I have realized to read about feminism, that all the books on
feminism are written almost all by women, and that gives them a very biased
view in favor of women and sometimes a look from outside. Eye, eye,
eye. Sometimes it' s even more lucid. No, but how
you' re gonna write your about feminism if you' re right is no
more plaining. My girlfriend, the character from before Abby some isn' t
that she has her own personal art. He' s a complex character.
When he accuses me of making him mans plaining, he does not pronounce it
well and says mins plaining, which forces me every time to explain again that
mans plaining does not come from mind mind, but from man' s hand,
and she falls into error over and over and over again. I mean,
I have to explain it every time, every time in a more slow
and slow way and with descendant. Well, I saw my girlfriend and I
have been 20 years. Well, this text is old. We must be
twenty- one years. I' m going to be twenty- one years
old. I just realized now that it' s fine. But good sex.
Sure. Many are many years. There' s a lot of them,
sure It' s 20 years. Sure, sure, I mean,
is that how you want to have sex? Those are the prolegomena, those
are, after twenty years, twenty- one years, the troublemen, they
are you want to have a intercourse, those are the problems Or if we
are a little nice, we say grab something. That' s it,
that' s it Did you trouble them less? Well, then, is
it how you want to have sex? Don' t put another chapter in
the series. But if we' re seeing here, there' s no
one alive who doesn' t care. Your pon is costing us how to
cheer. It' s costing us both. It' s hard for us
to encourage the matter to add a little bit of good, well, it
' s good to enrich a little good. It doesn' t make any
good. You know, he tells me the other day during intercourse that'
s what we call it. Talk to me badly and I told him what
I' m getting you into. I started using leisms. I told you
I' m gonna do it to him like that, no respect, no
respect for c and she told me what makes me feel is underrealistic. With
b I already ani and I said cocreta mondarina. We' re both in
letters. We didn' t think it was right. We stopped it was
like the two nudes in like. This isn' t working. We said
we' re going to roll Plaine, that if you don' t know,
the Roleplaine is, then, exchanging roles. He told me. She
told me we' re gonna make Roleplaine and I' m a screenwriter and
I said oysters. I finally went to the studio, prepared, prepared several
two you are. We did piaching and he told me this is that this
idea is very complex. We don' t have a budget for this one.
This is other abstract. My mother won' t understand. I told
her it' s okay, we' re both autonomous and she owns a
bookstore. I said, well, we' re both self- employed.
Okay, well, I' ll be the manager, and you' ll
be a young entrepreneur, and that' s worth it. I think I
can do that. I' ll be the manager and did a young entrepreneur
I got a course He rented a place on a main floor. I received
her with a green visor. I gave him time because, well, I
mean, he had a shoe store that came with all the tickets from the
store and well I made him the income statement and we didn' t even
fuck. And it was like, oh what we do, not like we
' re so worried about the subject, but it was like there' s
something, we have to do, what we do. And she said good
to me.“ Now today’ s young people have very normalized watching porn,
” she said porn,“ Let’ s watch porn,” she
said. For us we are forty years old. It' s a bit,
a bit of a subject, a little taboo and he said, but
the young people of dialo say it openly that they watch porn. I mean,
some are saying yes, yes, of course I told him man.
We' re two forty years old We' re eighties. It is true
that porn is said to be very normal nowadays. The porn isn' t
normalized shit next to how normal it is, that is, in the eighties
there were cinemas, cinemas, cinemas, cinemas, that is to say a
cinema pussy, a cinema, a cinema, a cinema, but porno,
that is to say, cinemas with their taquilera, the one that you had
to ask her for an entrance, usually you were alone, an entrance,
an entrance to the porn movie, that is to say with other seats,
where there were other gentlemen, usually they were lords and the film lasted an
hour and you had stayed for ten minutes because you had already paid the entrance.
As I mean, on that level is porn. I was at Kio
on the way out of school there was the porno, in Mr Matias'
kiosk, in the Pa kíos, Mr Matías was the pornhub algorithm it was
Mr Matías who told you if you liked this, take this other one.
This is being consumed in the neighborhood. I mean, if you wanted to,
if you wanted to erase the record, you had to beat Mr Matias
up. At that level porn was standardized compared to today. We said good,
it' s still okay Come on Let' s go watch porn.
Okay, let' s watch porn. We sat on the couch and put
it in the eye, not on the phone, not on the laptop,
on the little rhodillitas that you burn in summer that some say yes, yes,
on the TV Grande, with the sofa, on the TV Grande,
on the TV Grande? As adults with a cheese board on the side table.
We don' t even call it watching, because we don' t
call it watching documentary intercourse. At that level, at that level we consider
it something adult and we have composed to see and it doesn' t end
up leaving us. He ends up converging us. He leaves us with us.
We' re from the' 80s, as I say, and we
' re used to movies ending up very well in porn movies. They don
' t end, they don' t end. We' re used to
the' 80s movies being like that. They had a little bit of itchy,
they were a little bit of itchy. When the action was over,
the characters would jump, do well, jump, bevel, stop, freeze
the image, sound a guitar rip and tell you. Well, this character
got a degree from the university and now it' s all we see,
we watch porn movies and we imagine what the epilus will look like after the
credit scene of those characters and basically after watching a documentary intercourse. What we
do is we write that epilogue and I' m going to read you some
of the ones we' ve written Valose. These are pornhub films, a
well- known website of cultural content that you probably all know and are films
and we write the epilogue Gang Bank Orgi Sabach Party. They finish whatever they
' ve had in order to do those characters. We understand that a Gang
Bang Orgie Savage Party freezes law Everyone jumps well, yes, freezes the image
and tells you what has happened to them Gang Bang Ordi and Sabach Party.
Every year everyone gathers to reminisce about their little adventure. Tina, the girl
of moles in English, died two years ago. Demetrian Mira sanset Sacking.
Demetria and Mira haven' t seen each other since. She' s more
than two kids. He returns to practice rows whenever he has occasion, but
he can' t help but think about Demetri when he does it any raga
fi Bridge, Kerra est interduces Media. Time later, Kerra was able to
complete her shower. Jo Vi interview becomes another thing. Today, Samantha is
still unemployed fek Doctor Fax Skine, John Gerd Huk without Ford check the attractive
and thin girl. He still has no suspicion that the alleged doctor was not
such. His tumor' s still undetected. After a lot of reflection,
I realized that the problems we have to encourage the matter are because I am
very modest and very modest because I started very late in sex and I understand
that it is because I went to a public school. If you go to
a healing school, it' s key, it' s different. Well,
the point is, I told him I saw, okay, let'
s do something, let' s get back to the traditional. I told
him why we didn' t play doctors. And well it' s given
me time for April next year. And, well, that' s it
for today. Thank you very much. Thank you very much? Thank you,
thank you? Thank you. Ta later,