Welcome to March. Ready, flex and welcome to Friday. For the Dawn
Beats have opportunity for you to win some tickets. In the eight o'clock hour.
We will have Mikey's Morning News at eight thirty, so much Sports at
seven. At seven the song Vampire is in town performing tonight. Go a
little deeper on that. Who is she sucked the blood out of? Don't
I have two coyote stories today? Mike? Can you believe that? Two?
What's happening out here? If I can handle two, buddy, I'll
make it one and a half. We're gonna have a great day by getting
fully energized. Mikey is holding a Celsius in his hands. I've never had
a Celtic in my life. You I haven't got. Christina loves these things,
the delicious. I thought they were Uh, there's booze in them.
They look like all those booze drinks sons, like the Seltzer cans. Yeah,
it's the tall skinny, but this is just a little bit of a
caffeine, right, Look at all those zeros on the nutrition facts. Oh
yeah, Oh and you get the orange, yeah a little that's sparkling orange.
Yeah. Oh oh, essential energy. There's not a lot. There's
a lot of hundreds. This has one thousand percent of my required daily biotine.
Yeah, you probably don't have biotine very often, but the other stuff.
I feel the biotine coursing through my veins right now. My god,
good for you. Pan athenic ass. No sugar, no carbs, no
carbs, no sodium or no five miligram sodium a little bit sodiums. Do
you look at the daily value percentage when you look at nutritional facts or do
you look at the mologram? For me, I'm more a carb guy,
so I just kind of look at that. So, yeah, the daily
percentage thing. Occasionally I'll look at You're not ketoing, are you. You're
just kind of watching the carbon, kind of watching it. And it works
just watching them go in at tension. It works watching them go in by
the hundreds. Yeah. I mean there's probably better ways or probably faster ways
and better ways to do it, but it fits me and my weird schedule.
You know, you look great. Oh thanks man, it was like
six pounds sin. It's like, you know, and then I'll and then
I'll just destroy this weekend with food really and I'll be up four and then
I'll fight back. You know, I'll lose. I mean, I can
lose five pounds in a week for the first week, you know, and
then it kind of gets incremental. Man Antonio. I saw Oprah was removed
from the weight Watchers board because she basically admitted to using an Ocempic type product.
There's a million of them now. It's like, oh, you can't
be on the weight Watchers board if you're cheating, cheating with Ozipic. She
was cheating on weight Watchers with the new hot Bitch removed from the board as
a result. Yeah, why she removed herself from the board ethically, okays,
as long as it works and you look great. I mean it looks
like it works and say, no, dude on my weight Watchers and I
think they caught her or something happened. There's a bit of a scandal there,
or maybe she did herself or just trust me. Total skimming and headlining
here. Yeah, that's what I did. Read the article, but I
thought that was interesting, like, because that is this Ozipic thing. Ozimpic
has made a ton of money. Usage of it is up fifty eight percent,
like the last six months they're finding more and more. It's no longer
like super dangerous to people who need it because they're diabetic, because they've got
enough of it now that it's kind of anyone can get it. I was
scrolling Hulu last night as I tried to watch Showgun for ten minutes that the
new huluh hhow what do you mean? Tried to watch Oh no, I
no no. I could tell that it was gonna be a thing where you
got to pay attention, and I was not in pay attention mode, you
know. So it's like, if I can't lock in and focus, I
don't need to. The Dinger watched the first episode No Danny Bayle was today
Danny has the day off. I just wanted to tell people right out of
the gates before they start itching, before Whitney starts hitching or left arm give
me the ding, thinking what's wrong? I got a no ding? Where's
my ding? No ding? Today? Yeah? All right, we don't
like it just as much as you or less. Women of the Metroplex sigh
and slump their shoulders. They don't get to listen to the baseline close to
ding. There you go. He hates it when we talk about him as
it being a sex panther. I don't understand it. I don't either.
It's like the one thing I've always wanted. Yeah, I would love it
if I'm annoyed that people keep saying I'm hot. Hell, well yeah,
no, he's just like, stop it, I am not. Yeah,
like he's genuine because I do it off the air too, It's not just
on the air. Yeah, I'm like, this guy gets to be hot
forever, and hot forever is a label that I don't certainly don't have,
respectfully, Kevin, I don't think you have it either. No, I
don't. I'm not the official judge of this, never had it. But
Dingu gets to be hot forever. He's fifty five, he's going to be
sixty five and look about exactly the same. I'm certainly some natural aging,
but he's still gonna be tall and lean with cool hair that's gonna have flicks
of gray in it. Did you sick of it? Did you check your
patties? Humor is really the only way, it's like your only mode of
wooing a woman, or self defense, because no one really ever wanted to
fight me too much either, really could just kind of in and keep it
loose, Keep it loose. Yeah, it's kind of funny. Well,
I mean I'm hot, Kevin, that's not I mean, let's just jump
all the way to that. I'm not Dingu levels here, big mind,
I'm big mic dingu in a full suit playing bass, right, just thumping
his bass standing back there. It's sort of like when you watch Radiohead,
you know, and ever eyes are on tom yorke but then you see big
ed over there, Ed O'Brien and it's like he's not the most important member
of the band. Good lord, look at that tall, beautiful hunk of
a man. Yeah, that's Danny and every band he's in. He may
not be the front man, you know, he may not be on the
mic, singing or whatever, but you know the eye is drawn. Yeah,
that tall sip of Celsius stand in the back. Hi JJ, good
morning, good morning. You think Danny's handsome? Night? Yeah? Oh
yeah, good looking dude. Right, I have a great visual here where
I'm sitting. I feel like that's a little unfair because like from your angle
to me, you get kind of the side view and a double chin,
and I'm always kind of hunched over, So I feel like I may not
be doing myself. Justice may get mine bad side for sure. Yeah,
she gets both of our bad sides. She gets just straight on ding I
get jealous when I read the text coming in. I'm like, no,
he's my dingo. Yeah, stay away. We don't get many emojis except
for what it's hearts for Dingo it is. I know everyone send emojis for
us today. Well we'll send them off to the Just send the the doodoo
emoji a cupcake. We need hearts and I heart eyes. Hey, this
guy get texted in and you can text in all day two four seven one
and texting call all day from a competitive bodybuilder focused hutting fat rather than carbs
for weight loss. And you know, I'm just not a competitive body I
appreciate the feedback, but I'm not a competitive bodybuilder. I don't think although
the competitive bodybuilder would know more about it than me. Well, it doesn't
mean he's not right, but yeah, I think you're you're working from a
different a different area than the rest of us. And Danny did say he
might pop in today. Why I don't remember. He just left it obscure.
He might bring Malcolm up. Yeah, car wash and his fireman outfit.
His kid wears a fireman out like a legitimate badass fireman outfit every day,
his stores, to malls, to gas stations. He's just dressed as
a fireman. He loves mannequins. Did you have something you wanted to be
when you were a little boy radio? Yeah, not when you were his
age. When you're two, I played by play Yeah, when you're two,
Oh as too, I mean probably, yeah, I get that.
A drug o athlete, yeah, I think I did want to be the
quarterback of the Dolphins, you know, But then until recently six or seven,
after a couple of years of experience on the Sega genesis, just announcing
the game in the room doors closed, Really, who you talking to in
there? I was doing the game. I want to be a playboy play
guy. Yeah, we're getting a lot of egg plants flying in already,
figured, thank you, thank you, Except for miking grape fine, he
did send us hearts from a competitive fat guy. Eat good food, not
bad food. It is just a never aenny war what you eat. And
it gets worse as you get older too, though, and oh yeah,
how it sticks. But it's just unfair that you can't give us every one
I drive by everything from here to my house. Dozens within a mile of
where I'm driving, there's a dozen type of every cuisine you can think of,
fast options, high end options, sit down options. Everything. We
can't handle that. And then if you eat restaurants, it's all just salt
and butter anyway, because all their only job is to make it delicious,
and like Heroin that you have to come back and pay to eat again.
It's not like, you know, when you go to restaurants, they're real
concerned about your health. They just want your buns back in there again.
So guess what more butter more, butter more bread. I mean, it's
a great Norm McDonald joke, but he's like, America is the only country
where we eat a hole of of bread before we have our entree. We
did? We eat a whole bag of chips before we have our Mexican food
entre. We did a whole segment on that in the previous Downbeat where and
we I don't know, I don't even remember all of them, but we
just had. Why do they give you Why is it behoove a restaurant to
give you free food before you order, you know, to suck you in
because they know once you get there, you're probably hungry. You want the
snack, the drink. I mean, what goes good with drinks? Snacks?
Yeah, well, salty stuff certainly. Yeah, gets you to want
to buy drinks. And I guess their profit margin just explodes once you include
alcohol drinks who drinks always do that? Ago, what would our tab have
been? And if we decided to just hold off drink water, Yeah,
they're just not you know, And it's like, oh man, we would
have saved a pretty good amount of money. But then you have slump shoulder
server. It's like these guys are dud. Like I ain't getting over eighty
bucks for this whole table. Tips gotta suck. I'm gonna go put pube
in their food. They probably don't say that, but you know they're not
back there plucking one. I don't worry about that, but I do worry.
I don't know, I worry about that ever since I saw the comedy
movie Waiting. Is there a pube in the food? There's a whole scene
someone's being mean you. No, I think it's you. I mean,
you have your rude, but I think you had the people that came in.
We close at nine and the people that come in at eight fifty.
Yeah, and they're all like, oh, they all are you cleaning up
in the kitchen And they're like no, I mean it's the closest thing to
the bear. Even though it's a comedy movie, will you not do that?
Well, you know, I don't think it's close to at all.
It's just pretty real. They have to cook the line cook right there.
Who can't beee at the urinal? If people are watching Dane Cooks like cooking
your food, I don't think i'd want that. And Dane cook plucks the
one puts its garnish. The movie's gross, highly gross, But I wonder
how many people started treating their waiters and waitresses better after watching them, Yeah,
knowing like we can control your food, like we can. Clearly you
should just be nice to them, which is against the law. But but
like the movie definitely put a thought in people's heads of like, what movie
is this? Waiting? I've never seen it. It came out like five
place. It's like it's like Ryan Reynolds, Anna Ferris, Amy Smart Ammy
Smart, Okay, yeah, what are they doing? People's justin long Yeah,
So it's basically following these these people who work at a restaurant. I
mean there's a kid who's starting on his first day and they don't let him
get a word in all the movie. But yeah, they're just waiting.
And you're just following these people at a restaurant and how it is to work
in a restaurant business, and and there's so many different characters, and I
mean you're seeing all of it, like you see how the hell that you
go through working like from like no tips too, and they just react to
different situations. I love that. It's it's really funny. I love it.
Actually, did you ever work at a restaurant? No? You no,
look at you too. Well, I worked at a pizza place.
It wasn't I like, I work at a pizza place, but it wasn't
like you know, certain tables. Yeah, but I mean it's the food
industry. It's brutal. It's tough because people think it's like all about them.
Mean like yeah, the situation is just like okay, you're not like
we're like understaffed and we're trying to stuff like that. So it's like it's
brutal. I didn't mind. I like working at restaurants. I think I
could handle it. Yeah, But it's just like I said yesterday working at
the sandwich shop, where it's just yeah, there's only so many things that
are possible that you have to do, and it's just putting. It's like
an app on your phone. You gotta keep putting this thing together, keep
working, and be nice while you do it. Yeah, crack a few
jokes when things get I can handle jobs that are like I've got a list
of things that I need to do today, almost like a scavenger hunt.
You know. If the job's like that, I think I could handle that
really well. Yeah, But the like any redundant they just want to love
this show. I really feel like we're doing the same thing every day and
all some of the segments are the same, you know, for branding and
all that stuff. Like, it's pretty unpredictable on a day to day basis
what we're gonna be talking about, what we're gonna be doing. Restaurant,
I don't know. You probably do get tired of taking people's order. I
only got sick of the side work, which is repetitive. Bus and tables
and well we had Yeah, you have to bust them a little bit.
But usually there's a bus bus boy. But every table's new and different,
and you know, there's a lot of just like this, some in communication
and interaction, and your interaction and communication determines potentially how much money you make
off that table. So it does behoove. You'd be nice and it be
funny if you can and be unique. Yeah, so that's fun, and
it's sort of like a little present. Every table is a little present.
You never know what you're gonna get here, what you're gonna wrap, And
yes, it might be zero. You might get stiffed, but you might
get a monster tip. And it's both of them are equally likely. I
mean, I've read really got stiffed completely get bad tips. But sometimes you'll
get someone drop a hundred bucks on you, you know, and that's like
okay, and it's funny. When they leave, you know, and the
table's a mess, you gotta go start breaking it down. There's that moment
where you open up the little booklet and you're like, all right, any
of these people, look at them, I'll f they have a good life.
Never see them again, never seen m again, but I wish them
well, yeah too, well on your journeys. The two just had that
incorporated tips were the sacker at the grocery store in Olney. But back then
it's not like this anymore. But back then you had your cashier and your
sacker behind the counter and you put them on in the second take them out,
and people were pretty good. I don't know if that's just small town
kindness. People are pretty good about tipping. And then the other one and
this is truly about communication and being enthusiastic and giving people an experience. Was
when I was a tour guide at TMS. Now it was a part time
job, but that job was I mean, I got the biggest tip I'd
ever got. I got two hundred bucks. How'd you get tips? You
just did? You see? Remind him at the end, Hey, if
you enjoyed your tour guide today, you know I should have because you get
because that would almost I think, make people start to feel guilty if you
had like a group that was like two families or three, because it's like
the most people you could really have it. I was like eight to ten
people and you're on a van. It's real weird. At least that's what
it was like back then. Do you remember like your intro and you welcome
on the van or something like that was here. Uh, Like I get
to TMS, I sit down on the van. I look up. Do
you have a little walk little CB, a little speaker? So keep in
mind, it's like forty five minutes to an hour, and you're transporting them
across different areas. There's a couple stops and get out, you know,
and walk around. But me knowing nothing about what I'm talking about, and
that situation was trying to kill as much time as possible. So if I
can get fifteen minutes of this too, were taken up by these people telling
me their full background, that's a victory for me, and I kind of
wing it through. There's I can kill about three minutes walking up to the
press box. Suits you know, there's ways to get around it. So
the first play was hello everyone, Welcome to Texas Motor Speedway. You already
knew that though, Okay, and then you pause, Yeah, pause for
laughter. You say that on your script, pause for laughter. Well,
you know what, I used to it as a time to workshop jokes.
Mike, God, I bet you did. I did. It was fun.
But see, you have a person in front, but so you want
to make sure it's person in front the whole time. You want to make
sure that people of the back can hear you. Were you just talking or
start to people like, all right, let's start in the back. Where
are you guys from Jesus Kevin? Answer me? Did you have a microphone
or not? No? Okay, thank you? So you're just talking?
Yeah, oh, but you're standing at the front of the bus right now.
You're not driving a van, okay and driving and you want the people
in the back to introduce themselves. Yeah, see, that's no good to
Nobody wants to introduce themselves and do their own routine. And you get that.
Hey, that was also a little bit of the because they signed this
waiver. Inside, I'm just kind of holding the keys and swinging them on
my finger as I wait. But I'm trying to kind of find out in
those minutes from them leaving the gift shop walking to the van, I try
to find out who are the personable ones who are going to talk. But
if you find out, because you don't want to put people in a position
in a position that if they don't want to talk, you don't want to
put them on the spot. So I'd find the people that were most likely
to speak up and maybe try to get them going, and then that might
make everyone else open up, win them over, get them on your swe
Keep in mind mostly old people too, Mostly old people. Young hipsters aren't
taking van tours of Texas Motor Speedway. They weren't in two thousand and eight.
Although I was just like a week day, twenty hour a week guy
there, so just getting through it. And you got one hundred dollars tip
one time. I had two hundred dollars tip one time. It was incredible
from a guy just it was an old lady. She slipped at two hundies.
Yes, and she was like, that was the best tour I've ever
been on. Yeah, shut up, but what'd you do? Curly rich?
She had just giving off some miss Howel vibes. I am tired.
You don't know Miss Howe is that's from Gilgan's Island kids to look it up.
So she was giving out those you know, you can't tell. It's
kind of a rich family. But either way made them laugh the whole time.
You could say the most just even keel dead pan, there's nothing to
it, there's something not even that good, and just get lauded. And
yes, it was like the time we did stand up at t K's because
all her listeners are there. Good audience. It was a good audience home
crowd. Well, the other comedians are like Jesus. That went really well.
I was like, well, kind of the crowd on my side.
It was a lot of that. That was actually live audio from the end
of your stand up set. I recorded it and gave it to JJ,
which wasn't very good. He did, He did twelve minutes and then he
heard this all right, and that is a room with one hundred people,
and it really was one hundred people. Okay, give it up for strip
mall Steve. That's how that went. Stripm' st doing with his front doing
his frozen Mitch McConnell bit or just stop a little Jack. Yeah, that
was great. You know, I think you would do good and stand up.
That's sweet. And I've heard that before and I continue to have very
little urge to do it. It's so scary. I still lot the hell
out of you guys that have done it. I still think my number one
bit would have been taken off. I'm just leaving what like, because it
was built up to the week that is going to be doing it, and
I remember, Oh, yeah, I told you. I told you I'm
going to the bathroom or something, and I told you I'm about to leave.
Yeah, he was going on in two minutes. And I went over
to just give him a little hug, like a kind of a backstage like,
dude, you're good. This would be great. Got a good crowd,
and he looked me in the eye like with crazy crazy eye and said,
I'm leaving. And then he walked toward the front door, and I'm
like, please, so good. Bit that Kat has just left. And
he's now in his car. He's on. People will be calling me.
I'm in the car. You could hear me in the car. They're calling
you up right now. You just hear the blinker on and he's entering the
tollway. That would have been great. I'm doing that next time. If
we have been great, men, wi Lee with an on ten there,
Mike start off his round. I won't give a quick and I'm gonna do
well doing sports. He'll be done by then. Problem Anthony cam has two
holes to play, okay on the live tour. I want to know how
he's doing. We'll tell you at seven. I'll tell you at seven o'clock.
Suck on that tea because I will say it's shocking, oh shocking,
what Anthony Kim is doing on the golf course this morning as a member of
the Live Tour has two holes to play. Everything is shocking. I'm going
to give an instagrade to the Celsius Sparkling Orange. Yeah, I'm going to
give this a solid A. I don't know if I'm throwing the plus on
there, but it's refreshing. Great. And if this thing does have a
caffeine in it, there should be a larger Okay. So nineteen ninety is
when food and BEV were required on packaged foods to provide nutritional information, which
is excellent and it's so good, but I don't know where they're Okay,
this one does a caffeine content two hundred milligrams right at the bottom. There
should be like a consistent box that says caffeine on it or doesn't say it.
Yeah, like an easy quick place to look. It's always small,
yeah, And I don't you should have to work that hard for something so
it doesn't hurt you, like you if you're either looking for it or not.
It's not like fine. It shouldn't be a fine print thing. I
wo'd agree with you there, or maybe even like a cool little symbol for
caffeated or not caffeine that you could just look for it. It's like a
big red plus or something like, all right, caffeinated, don't drink this
at night. But anyway, celsius, it's an alternative coffee. It's some
potential here and delicious. A lot of texts with a lot of emojis coming
in, a lot of people offering a lot of restaurant stories, which is
great. Someone says, poor a lady probably had to mention and thought she
was throwing you two ten dollar bills or one dollar bills. There's no way
she meant to give you two hundred dollars bills for driving around TMS for an
hour. Maybe she had never been in a high speed chase before. What's
the fastest you ever got it up to? Well, the rules were sixty,
so you take the bank at sixty and they had dudes down there watching
like if you were going over it, they would report you. But I
did get it up to eighty. They had a motorcycle cop and the grass
with a radar ghost. Yeah. You know how those NASCAR people are?
They all communicate through walkie talkies and they love them. They love walkie talkies,
and I love walkie talkies. It's kind of fun to take them up
to the top of the bank and they just put on the brakes and stop.
Just then feel it, and then you say they feel that lean,
you feel that it feels like you're about to tump over. Now imagine that
at two hundred miles per hour, we're at sixty town to zero. Stop.
Feels like the van's gonna Usually an old ladies like I can't handle it,
about to throw up. Yeah, the g forces are taking her.
Yeah, as we're like, not cat, We're not in motion right now,
We're just paused, but you and it feels when you're at the top
of it feels like the van could whoop. Yeah, just rolled down the
hill. It terrified people. Fun though, fun tour when I you know,
wyon't you go back and do one tour one to commemorate the fifteen year
I'll do anniversary since you're I would go, I'll do it in twenty twenty
seven or twenty twenty eight is a twenty year inverse penciled me in I want
to be your first guest. All right, as long as you tip me,
I'm good. Well, not too hundy though, All right, well
this is pretty good. Oh how about this? I'm listening to y'all.
Shoot, the breeze is strangely reacts, relaxing, enjoying the morning drive.
Oh yeah, good morning, thank you, and sparkling orange is great.
We have lost fun stuff. The big Anthony Cam update coming up at seven,
uh, Cowdy stories at seven point thirty, the hell and other stuff,
and putting a new nickname for a politician that I think you're gonna love,
Mike, I think you're gonna love it. Chance to win Hoody and
the Blowfish tickets at eight, and the song Vampire is in town at nine,
Big show tonight at the AAC. What coming up? I feel like
Delkas in the Gang of Meteorologists making crap up at this point. We's got
a new name for a weird weather term that happened in our town yesterday next
to ninety seven won the freak