Why do people eat garlic so you can find him in the dark? Correct, say that man eight dollars. How do you make andy three hyder pajamas? Correct? Say that man hire? Because it pays to be ignorant. I've seen he half all with those masters of insanity, Harry McNaughton, George Shelton, the Nailop Girl, Lula McConnell and featuring Dark Norvic Orchestra. But now here's a man who booms. It pays to be ignorant. Bomb Howard, Yeah, im a quarterback. Firs who are so dumb they think the Mayor of New York is a horse. First we have the celebrated author. First we have to celebrate AfOR mister Harry mcnarth, who is j justmt in the booking titles. He gets up early with the son, shouldn't stay up late with the daughter. But here he is. Here he is mister Harry McNaught. He has a pole. I have a poem. You good, precisely good, Nelly rude set on a tech, Nellie rude, Nellie road sill and never by. Next we have a woman. Next, you have a woman so fat when she walks along Lower Broadway, people throw ticker tape out the window. They think it's a parade. A woman, a woman who, when he visits you can stay longer and a half hour than Nuney Walls anyone else can stay in the week. Here she is the pin up girl of Lower Basin Street. Miss Lowe O'Connor. You know I got a dune thing this morning. I know you woke up. I am I am a sad yeah, but in my hurry and get my own Manny's backnast I gave him a bottle of self flake instead of corn flink. So yes, so I put milk on them and aathm was he mad when he tases the man. He was frozzing at the mouth, see what you mean. Next, we have a man who was so ANEI cloking. If he ever fell asleep in the tuck seed a suit, they'd bury him. A man, a man of when he a man of when he was a kid. His mother had to buy him back from the dogcatchers three times. Here he is the flower of his family. That broom and idiot mister George ou now you know, mister hard, I'm having a little trouble of my Landlady over at the bourton is say he was the trouble. Well, you know, the short and help and everything. I've been kind of helping around the place a bit by night. But you can't please the old dame. Everything I do is wrong. I see she bore me on yesterday we're not changing the water and the goldfish go cool. I see why didn't you change it? They hadn't drank the water. I put him there yesterday. Well, we are posts now on. We guarantee nothing. Now here's the first question, Howard. Yes, mister Howard, we have a visitor tonight, and here he is at this thing where composer on music commentator mister Deans Taylor. Oh, well, this really is a surprise, mister Demes Taylor, at least for getting intelligent people on this program. How do you do, mister Taylor? This is indeed a honnor. Why thank you, mister Horn. Let me introduce you to the experts, mister Taylor. Allow me to introduce you to mister Iron mcnonty. How do you do, mister McNaul Oh, I've never met mister Demes, but it's a pleasure to meet his Taylor. Miss mccattan, This is not mister deesus Taylor, or why didn't you say it once? Paul? Why do you have to lie like that? I didn't say. I didn't say it was mister Deanes's Taylor. Certainly did you send an inner? You said it? I quote, are you mister McNaught to meet mister Deans Taylor? I know I did. What I didn't say was mister Deans and Taylor? Are you feeling well? Mister hard I said this was mister Demes Taylor, not the tailor of mister need Well. He's the tailor of mister Deames. He must be mister Deames Taylor, I say, I say, tell me, oh boy, how much do you talk to piss? A shoots out? I didn't quite catch your knee. I didn't thraw it. He didn't throw And very good, mister Taylor, whoever's Taylor you are, I'm miss McConnell and I'm fasty, praying, footloose. Yeah, the rest the rest of you could stand tighty not to Please, let's get started with the questions. As you know, mister Taylor, this is a quiz program. We have questions which we broke at the experts. Well, whatever you throw at them, remember, please and I'm sitting between them. I remember that. Here's the question our studio play on. A player will play the course of a very popular song of other years. You are to tell me the name of the Indian maiden the song is about filewa. I am yeah, I haven't heard the song yet. Show you how quick I am, boy, boy, I get the answers before I hit the question hardy fans, can we hear the song? Please? What do you think of it? Mister Taylor? You mean the question of the music? Oh, I mean would you know the name of the Indian girl in the song? Well? Of course, from where I said, the answer is obvious. I've never heard of an Indian girl named obvious. What tribe did she belong to? Never mind? No, miss how I used to play that on the piano when I was a little girl. They didn't have pianas when you were a little girl. That was beautiful and I really did like the way you played it. How would you say he played it, mister Taylor? Well, the melodic line was brought into relief by the use of a tremolo in the right hand and a thermata or hold, and both of these devices were used in brought the good taste further to enhance the beauty of the main theme. I see. The harmonic structure was indicated by the use of the off pedo in the base or left hand, commonly known as the albaty bass. Oh yeah, on the whole looking for a sound musician the interpretation of the open Miss McConnell, thank you, Mintioned Taylor. Miss peconne, you said you played that song on the piano. You can play that you play the piano. Miss mcconne, sure, I've played the piano with my feet. With your feet, what do you do with your hands? Oh? My nose? I hate music, you know, you know I can never get any music out of our piano. So I chopped it up for firewood. You can't get usual kind of a by chopping it up for firewood. No, I got a few calls out of it. You got a I made a couple of bucks. Never mind, how we gonna answer the question. Look, I'll give you an answer. Name of the number that was played was pretty red wing? Now, then what was the name of the Indian girl that the song was? Abow iowatch? Thank you? That was not you know the kind of makes you want to leave early August, which is living proof that people are still free to do as a plays in this country. Well, let's get along here. We have in sight of two members of the studio audience up here on the state. They can ask the exploits of question. If they get an intelligent answer, we give them twenty pounds of butter if they If they don't, we give them the paper out of Sheldon's shoe. Who was our first? Who was our first? Contested, mister roberts Well down our first yesternight is Corporal's Downy Goodman of the United States Field Artillery. I need to do a Cardinal Goodman, and welcome to our program. It's a pleasure to drive you here. Where is your hometown? Would you care to tell it? My hometown is Providence, Rhode Island. Providence, Rhode Island, I mean night now, Providence, Rhode Island. Well, put a put a bridal gun on me and call me snowflake, I said, why are used to working that town? Peter? You know very comically, Corporal Goodman, I was in the Lost Warrior. I'm a spy. You're a fine didn't they shoes you? I don't know how to sinefolded. You are blind. Just ignore him, a corporal goodman. I noticed by your ribbons there you've seen play of action. Where have you been in the Pacific? I've been in So Pacific. You've been in Water Canal? You're y, so you were? I saw that picture body Canal when I never saw him in If you've can help us out here, if you will, cor for what you read into the dunecap that for got a question for us? Please? And would you be good enough to read the questions as soon as you get it, just read it right into the microphone, if you will, please. How many notes are there in the musical scale? Now, that's very good. How many notes are there in the musical scale? This? We should get a lot of help on this from mister Taylor. Mister Tanyler, could you tell us the notes in the musical scale? Well, the first notee dough. The second is Ray. That's my wish name, you know Ray. Well that would be easy to remember. Oh yes, Ray, she's always asking me for doe. The the third note is me. The third notice you? What's that I said? The third notice you? The third note is not you? I know it's not as you the third notee me third notice me. Isn't that what mister Shelton said? No, he said it was you. The third note is me? What then, what you're saying was you for? I never said it was you. I didn't say you did you said it was you? I said the note was met the tailor, I ain't just about you said it was me. Well that's right, don't you see? It's the boss of it. It's not both of them. Who is it? Lessen your three milon ads? Guys, you understand what mister Taylor is saying. But what I'm an interpreter a way of that? The name of the third notice me mister Howard is right. Oh I get it. It's mister Howard. No, it's not mister Howard. It's me. Well, someone hit me in the face with a wet dish rag an that wouldn't improve it any Why are you tear out the argument? And mister Taylor says a notice him? He ought to know? All right, I don't care who is saloons It ain't me. But that's right, mister Shatham. It's funny. It's me. Oh my god, tell her? How can you be so deceitful? You say with me. I know I did. Yes, you understand the name of the third note is me. Everybody watched to get into the air. Gentlemen, gentlemen. The names of the notes are don't ray me, Foss, don't La Steed, do go on top and doe on the bottom. Oh, just like a pie? Yes, all right, just like a pie? What comes in between? Brune draws. Don't let it out? He said, Do dot get that inty or not? Do I got it? Do not? Do not? I thank you a lot carp for me. Now, can we have a number from Nat Noviac and his diving jerks. Listen, listen and get sick with Natnovac. This is gonna be good. It's beautiful, though lovely. I have my brush and tail. I think beautiful. What if what they think? Ay? It sends me? Yeah, I wish you would leave you La. They think it's beautiful tail. I go over with abandons, play William, Ladies and jump there are I'm playing Richmond in the fight right there they go the only land the country that plays. I'm taking the date O. Thank you doctor Novik for finishing. When the pipe piper chased the ass out of Hamlin, he really had not Novik's Orgestra with him if you want the back. But mister Taylor, all getting aside you being an authority on music, what do you think of mister Novik's August Do I have to answer that? Well? Why why, mister Taylor? Mister Newbik's Augustra is an institution. That's where it belongs. That I agree with you clearly there, mister Dana, Well let's get on. How about our next confessed mister Roberts. Well, here she is that as bright as a dollar, mister Hardyman, second class Shirley Coleman out of the United States, Wade, how do you do, miss Coleman? This is indeed a pleasure. We're very glad to have you with us. I might say you look charming, You really do already? Yes, indeed she does look very charming, mister hard Okay, you know it's girls like her that make me like girls like her that will do. Miss mcglot. Where is your hometown, Miss Coleman? Would you care to tell us? We just love to know, Cad Cambridge Magic. That's very nice. You know what's hard This Colma must have been a very beautiful baby. I'm nice as you are hey. You know me how speaking about babies? Who is the cutest baby over our boarding house the other day? And the other day her mother let me hold herround my lap, then I put her on the skin else and waiter? How much get you weigh? Ninety seven pounds? We didn't get home at two o'clock the morning. How long? How long have you been in the service? Mischool? Twenty months? Twenty months? Well, congratulations, I suppose you find your work very interesting, Yes, sir, I do. Are you married? Yes, sir, you're married. Well. I was going to ask you another question, but let's forget it. You know, there's hard I was. I could join the Wax and the Waves or something you wish. Yeah, I did join the rotary club. You joined the rotary club, Miss macown, the rotary clubber all from men, from men, that's why I joy's why that before. We're very glad to have you with us. What did you do before you went into service? I went to school, sir. Oh, you went to school Camry, Oh, sir, Boston Owen, Boston and okay, well I deemed to Boston too, ye know, though you're camd in Boshington too. You please don't good. First, you want to know you were with me because I tried, I got out of the camp. I might have you meet mister Taylor, Miss uh Coleman. This is mister Deans Taylor, Miss cold. How do you do, Miss Coleman. It's really a very great pleasure to geezy gez. We met that you promised making me after the program. I never promised to wait for you after the program. Don't you need to be a good idea? Well you cut it out, please God, pay no attention of missus Coleman. We're gonna beat for any minute now, were you would you do as a favorite while you're here, would you kindly reach into the dunge cap there and you got a question for us? And when you get a holder questions, would you kindly read it into the microphone? Yes? What kind of wood was in the old oakan bucket? That's very good the place there is one kind of wood was in the old oakan? Baman? What kind of wood? In other words, was the buckets made out of? Is that the old oak com bucket that hung in the well. That's right, that's the question. Oh, it's a deep one. Is a deep one, mister hand The old com bucket is a quart tet? Sharp say, look, he's an idea. Let you and I sing a quart test You and I? Yeah, well, wait a minute, two people can't sing a court test. Well, lot of perfectly willing to help over. I don't forget. I have a voice, yeah for haunt calling. Oh yeah, well in my voice, I can go to the Metropolitan there with your voice you need inshorts. All right, let's agree with mister Sheldon for once, for once in our lives, if it will help to get the answer to the question, we'll sing the old oaken bucket. Liza Taylor, you can help us out here. If you will, we might as well do this thing Rightlza Taylor, will you announce the quartet? Certainly, mister Horn. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to bring to you at this time the Metropolitan Court Tet, four brilliant voices who have just finished the most successful engagement the six months in the observation ward the Metropolitan Context of Howard, Shelton, mclausin, and McConnell. Thank you, Cord. Please, I want to get in the pocket locket bucket. Fuck it, wait a matter, there's nothing wrong here. What's the matter. Nobody's using an extra bucket? What was that you miss, McConnell, not me. I'm using the same bucket as you are. Let me tell you something. Let's get this straight. There's only one bucket that saw you understand that worker and we all use the same bucket. I'll get that line every crowded. You know what the mine? Now let's start over again. Cord cleanse the locket bucket, Oh, sir, I shot the cot he was sour, Ladies and Gentlemen, Special announcement. Due to an unavoidable accident, the Metropolitan Quartet will be unable to appear. Instead, we bring you're the Cosmopolophan Trio in bucket de locket bucket. Oh, I shot jelldon He was not only sour, he was Romanci Ladies, Ladies and Gentlemen, Special announcement. Due to a severe case of blood poisoning of one of the members, the Cosmopolitan Trio will be unable to appear. Instead, we shall hear from the Canal Street duo. Uh, it's Howard and Kirsten McConnell. The don't in the bucket, Theron Town bucket, Love lobarn bucket oh, well, she was a good old bucket, but she went to the Ladies and Gentlemen special announcement due to the fact that Miss Kirsten mcconnald broke her bucket. We go now here from that international favorite, the original voice of the turtle, mister Tom Howard, Oh, don't gin Uget theron bound buckets sit out. They got me, They got me, They got me right in the middle of the bucket. The I do not call it that one is really hot if we put the dummies back in the box. I really do want to thank mister Demes Taylor for being with us tonight. Denn a marvelous job and was very very nice of him to come up here and pay us a visit. And I'd like to say to your listeners, try and be with us again next week when our special guests will be mister Rolling Young. Would you say, mister Howard, what you think I said? Rolling Young? The movie actor? How old is he? Oh? Rolling is not old? No young, he's young. Okay, Okay, now, yes, if my sirl in that picture, Claudia, oh to know mister Shulton, No, that was his son, Robert Young O love. He ain't bad either. No, no, mister Howes you know rolling young is Look I don't know, Wellerigo matter ready, you don't make any difference anyway. No, as long as he wears pam, I thought you wear the pant. He does wear pants. The last time I saw him on Broadway had him on. I see we depleted. Well, let us hope you'll have pants go on next Friday night. This is the Armed Forces Radio seven b it hay. You know it's just like me. Each week I earned six dollars. My brain is terribly like But when there ain't no income, why then there ain't no income taxt so you see it to ignorant, I have no brain, being a just