For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world. This is
the many bit Stiltoe corn is alive and kicking mun over here. I'll hit
but your ass a couple of times. You you know what I'm saying.
This brother breaking on the forty yard. But this brother, Come on,
sid, I hope I didn't kiss off. Jesus, you call that a
penalty's number one? That was number one. It's the La Clippers. Shut
up, you're staying it for all people. I would get a pregnant They
just called in and hangs up. Your mother fucker that can kiss me off?
Are you? Are you in the shower house totally in the show.
Yeah, he's not a coach, can give me James stupid. You're a
super idiot. For get soup up tight over literally to clearly why I will
lie for attention my life at start, y'all, you're coming. Welcome drunk
sports where winners win so much winning on the show, it's unbelievable. Johnny's
getting his girl to get bringing other women and yeah, let's let's explore this.
We were just talking about this before we started on We work. It's
just crushing it clarify, to clarify. Yeah, I am always telling my
girlfriend that she should and she is always saying, oh, that's disgusting.
So well, because your involvement or because what parts disgusting? Excellent questions.
I like that, I you might you might be on. I think you
won today. I think I think you won. We should just we should
just end the show, really, because that was that was you did it.
I mean, we had the laughs. It's been great. Do we
have the balls? Do we have the balls? Don't forget to go to
our all of our things and all of our things. It's been a great.
Uh. He shout out to Redband. Happy birthday to Brian Chel redband,
good friend of ours. I just thought it was a birthday. Happy
birthday, Red Band, Happy birthday, Bro, you made it. How
old are you? That's a good question. He's got to be forty sixty
seven. No, he's a couple years younger or us, right, I
don't know, Bro, I'm thirty seven, so I don't know. Thirty
seven. Again, I'm thirty seven, dude, you've been thirty seven.
This is your fourteenth, ten year old, thirty seventh birthday. Yeah,
what a trade happens? Good times. Dude, you're almost fifty one.
You're almost fifty one. That doesn't do much. It's almost one that doesn't
hurt. Fifty is the number, right, but fifty one. But I
mightna be honest with you. I've loved growing old. I hope people think
it's crazy, but it really is great. I needed to slow down.
I thinks fast for a couple of the guys on this show, and I
think slowing down, maybe getting some bifocals and just playing golf and stand out
choles been been a little born. But I do think I've surpassed the odds.
Everybody had the U the under on Sam and I Yeah, for sure,
probably read Dan too. Let's be honest. I shouldn't really be getting
life insurance on both of you guys. I was just I haven't. I
haven't. No, I mean for me on you guys, because they have
something called you Walmart. No, it's called key key Man insurance. When
you have a business, you can get insurance on people that are important to
the business, and I think it might be that wouldn't be either of us.
I might just do that. You will you let us know if you
do that, though I'm not gonna do that, Sam, Come on,
we should get insurance on Johnny if he's getting insurance on us. Sam.
By the way, do you know Johnny's hairs that has long hair They puts
under there so it's like it's like, yeah, Johnny, Johnny is the
guy who like is still working at the bookstore slash old school. I just
don't like going to get my haircut. Dude, Johnny, take off the
hat. Let me see the fucking long locks. It's not Holy shit,
your hair's really really that? Bro? What do you chick? What are
you going to a Taylor Swift concert? Right now? Johnny's got that like
a twelve year old. His parents just got a divorce, and he's just
saying fucking all summer. Yeah, Johnny, you look like you just yell
for no reason. Trans rights are human rights. Yeah. I don't think
that's not for no reason. That's trying to make sure he gets his rights
fucking fought for. Guys. We're in it, dude. Look at us.
How deeper we are in fast comedy? Sammy. I saw you guys,
now, I saw your flyer. I have a question about your flyer
for comedy Chaos Tuesday. Everybody go to that is that this Tuesday, Sam,
it is a little plug so this Tuesday comments to Comic Cast. Everybody
on the flyer looks like everybody on the fire except for Kim Congan. I
looked at the flyer without looking at people's names, and then I go,
who the fuck is that? I go, oh, that's Kim. She
looks like her art was done by like I'll filter. Oh, okay,
I got it right here. Oh you're so right, dude. Yeah,
it doesn't look like her. I don't know many one of them looks like
every one of them. I know, it's like a cartoony drawn It's not
a photograph every It's like a weird It's a weird app that does it.
And that's how they app saw Kim. That does not look like you're done.
I think it does. Is that Kim Conan or Kim Kandashian. Well,
it depends on what is Kim trying to do at the time we were
looking at her. Is she just walking around in her pajamas just chilling now?
Is she hunting quality black head smaller? Is she hunting quality black dick
that she's out there trying to get? I mean, I think that's always
just probably just a given. I guess that kind of doesn't look like Adam
Ray either. It looks more like that guy does look like Adam Ray a
little bit. Yeah, I mean it does look like Adam Ray. Mark
Mark, Mark Marin looks exactly like Mark, Mark Marin, brand Shaw Tripoli.
Wait, that's not that's not Biddlecumb. That's not No, that's Drew.
That's Drew Lynch. Dude, I thought that was Brenton Biddlecumb. I
really did that, guys. Drew Lynch is crushing it too. Those are
this is a show of crutchers. But you know what, you know what
has happened? Good show? Uh Jason Comedy Chaos changed to Los Angeles,
and now every show is nothing but heaters, and it's like there's no station
like there used to be. They just done it all blue. Every show's
blue Chippers and there's nowhere to work out. Yeah. Yeah, it's like
seven guys get all the stage time. I talked to John Barres after he
got back. Well, I talked to him a couple of times when he
was in Austin, and then he called me when he got back. He
said he had a phenomenal time. And now he says, you can.
He only wants to be called Tex Barris. I get it. When's the
last time you were out there? Hexts? The message is that, how
do y'all? Yeah? Yeah, you got any plans? We go out
there soon? I think we got there. I want to. I know
Callen was just out there and so he got to go up with the Uh
you got to go up with the Mothership. That seems to be a thing
that everybody does. They all. It's like the Mothership has now become mecca.
Everybody to kiss the ring. You you played there yet before? Yeah,
nobody that left there that hasn't said that is the greatest comedy club ever.
And I'm building it. This to Sam's point, Don barrass was like
my canary in the coal mine, because if Don bears, he's like,
let's get Mikey. He hates everything. If Don Barrets likes it, you
know it's good because Don Barres can can tend to have a problem with just
about everything. And for him to come back and he's like, listen,
pal, you gotta get out there. Sometimes I think, and maybe it's
just me, but you know, Rogan was Rogan is from the outside.
I probably much bigger than we who have known him for twenty years probably really
understand, right, Yeah, to us, we just kind of watched.
No, we know he's big, but he's just Joe Rogan that we know
from the kind I mean, it sounds crazy, like I know he's humongous,
but I it's just through the filter of like I've known this guy before
fear factor. Right, Yeah, we were too close to the fire,
right, But everything this guy does is the greatest of all time. And
like, I don't give a shit why anybody says. And Dana White and
Joe Rogan both are like, I don't know, but this is my theory
on Joe Rogan was a big part of the UFC blowing up because his ability
to understand how to entertain people, how to how to how to crank it
up, and how to be quiet with the action, uh you know,
kind of speak for itself. He really is like this is nuts to say
this, but he is the John Madden of that sport. He is Crazy
Scully of that sport. It's not crazy to say at all. If they
got rid of him, or if he said I'm done with this, or
they said, you know what, we're going to go in a new direction.
It would be a massive dent in the can of that sport. He
grew up with that. The guys who Doddy listening and watching that sport.
We associe like, hey, fighters come and fighters go. How many people
we see retired? Rogan's been there the whole time. He the next thing
he will add to his cap is UFC Hall of Famer. Oh that's interstaning.
Yeah, I bet he will. Yeah, why wouldn't he? He's
that's a no brainer. Yeah, I totally agree to. You think.
Craziest thing then we gotta getting some sports here. We're literally talking sports right
now. Do you think Goldberg is a Hall of Famer? He should be.
And you know I have a soft spot for Goldie because he was the
voice of my television show so many years ago. Uh you know, and
you know, you know my theory on why he and many others laughed.
You know, there was all these theories that you know, Goldie, let's
say, was like a wild card. Um, but I also believe that
wild card like a little little wild guy, a little wild like the like
the like the little bit of the chaos in life, you know, you
mean off out of the out. Yeah, yeah, a little, a
little, a little a little like said a little bit was in his personal
Runner and gunner. Let's just say, right, okay, giveaways and I'm
not here to give anybody's secrets out. But you know not that I have
any inside scoopy that does. Oh triblis tribally knows not. How please didn't
just put that there. I gotta go pull my meat off the grill.
Oh that's good, you dude fail. You got jerk off the mill a
punch truck. You got jerk off right, the mill punch shruck. What
he's got on the grill. But my whole theory is is that he was
part of this group of guys they kind of let go in the hopes that
it would build up other brands that would then be viable, so so UFC
wouldn't have monopoly law problems, saying that they were the only ones. Now
now this bellatour and now they have PFL, those are now other places for
fighters ago and make money, and that helps the UFC when it comes to
monopoly laws because they were kind of you know, well, they bought every
single one of their competitions, from Pride to fucking ECW to the you know,
they bought everything, they might buy Bellatour, But now I guess PFL
is going to combine with Bell Tour. Well that's I mean, that's just
how all that goes. That's how all these calomerates. Well, we'll see
what happens, because now people are talking about that the PFL might separate from
ESPN, and then I'm like, where are you going, dude, where
are you gonna go? What are you gonna do? I can see that
though, because with the PFL and with UM between the twenties, with the
PFL, and because ESPM started that right well, the PFL was I think
it had another name before and then they rebranded themselves and then they started working
with with them. Yes, but it's just weird. The ESPN forever would
be like, we want nothing to do with the UFC, we want nothing
to do with all this. Then they go, we want to now we're
in business with UFC and we're gonna start a competitive league with the UFC.
Yeah, it's very weird, but I find ESPN, I see, really
want that because then it helps me with these with these you know, monopoly
laws, which is crazy right as you know, I wouldn't need John come
back here because college sports is getting crazy, and I think it's getting really
sad. I think it's getting really sad where it's going and it's sigh.
Here he is, we'll start. Okay, Well, let's Johnny doesn't need
to hear the rest of that. Um yeah, okay, Well, so
just answer the pole when you're done, Johnny Good, Johnny Badge, Johnny
Straight, Johnny Gaye, just answer the pole like uh Tebow said, So
that's not what you said. You said the pole was Johnny Gaye, Johnny
super Gay Okay, yeah, whatever the poll is. Just got pole was
perfect, john Good point, good play, good point. Um. So
I want to get into the we are watching in real time the PAC twelve
disintegrating, and it is disgusting and it is sad and it is unnecessary.
And you they've just now all these everybody is scrambling so hard because they don't
want to get left behind. That now the Big ten and the Big twelve
have just snatched about six now just right now snatch about five teams. Well
now they're saying Florida State, Clemson and two other teams are talking about going
to the Big Big ten. The problem for the teams in the ACC they
want to leave because I think North Carolina would be one of those. Uh
they gotta pay one hundred and twenty million bucks. Oh, they have to
pay so much. I mean it's a huge amount of money, and and
there's some real contractual problems that like legally they might just get sued into and
who knows how much they would do because they have this thing called a g
aunt of rights, which is the way the conference was structured. And it's
I mean, they're they've been looking into this for years how to get out
of it. But the news is that you stupid ask The news was this
week that FSU at one of their trustee meetings. I guess, uh,
we're kind of grumbling about it out loud. You know that normally that shit
happens behind the scenes, but they were complaining about how the ACC TV deal
sucks compared to the other leagues. Yeah, because what they're trying to do
is they want more you give money of wins and stuff like that. And
it's sure I also think Jason that they're like, let's just say let's take
uh, let's take uh the sect right. Why it's Vanderbilt making as much
money off the deal as Alabama. I'm sure that's starting to come out.
Why are certain schools making as much on these other schools? Why are these
schools like why is Wake Forest making the same money as Clemson. Let's just
say which is a real deal. But here's the whole thing, guys,
And this is why this is really disgusting. Is that espnn it's about to
die. It's dying. It is literally dying. It is dying in front
of our eyes. I mean, this stuff with the NBA that they're doing,
they're getting rid of all these people that everybody loves, and they're just
like, now we're gonna should say to the PAC twelve is uh? The
PAC twelve is actually trying to add a grant of rights, which is what
the ACC has so they can But there is this idea that the PAC twelve
and the AEC could merge. What would you think about that too? Well,
Johnny, that's why I wanted to bring up. So when everything started
going nuts, the SEC started poaching, uh, Texas and Oklahoma, the
PAC twelve, the the ACC, and I think it was the big ten,
was it? It was? Yeah, it was a big well,
it was it was gonna go and guess who killed it. The PAC twelve
killed it. They killed it, and now I look them, they're ro
kill on the side of the fucking road. Now, like that was the
most fatal decision ever, is not to join in that, because then all
the money would go up. You would have the entire fucking country and you
would you would be you would have a chance to survive now, and this
all goes to the fact that most of the country is on the East coast,
that the PAC ten can't PAC twelve can't get the same amount of money.
Yeah, that's why they were backs were always to the wall on that.
Yeah. I mean, I mean you you all three of us who
are grew up in the you know, east of the Mississippi River. College
football is a whole different fucking ball of wax when you fucking are on the
West coast or East coast. I got out to LA and I was like,
they don't care really about football out here at all but Saturdays. Yeah,
I'll but college football is like fifth there's sixth on what people give a
fuck about on the West coast. Oh yeah, top of the mountain on
the I'm not talking about Texas and Alabama. That's funny because they have so
much talent in California. I mean, California is a talent rich state.
It's there's so much I'll go to Alabama and other than USC. Yeah,
U CELA to a lesser extent, but yeah, that's about it. Cal
agree. Here's here's an interesting coming out of that meeting you talked about,
Sam It it sounds like they've continued to be in discussions. This is from
a website called on three. I'm not really familiar with it, but they
contacted to form an ACC athletic director who said that there's no market for a
coast to coast conference. What do you think about that? And he says
there's no distribution for it, like no appropriate distribution for it. Speaking to
what you're talking about with ESPNS, Well, yeah, I'm sure that people
of the ACC don't give a fuck about you know, West Coast football be
kind of interesting, though, not to beat up on the same teams over
and over again. The problem would be with us would be that it would
fuck up rivalry games. Possibly, I mean that happened already, expand it.
Yeah, but I mean you're talking about maybe North carolind Dupe not playing
every year I mean that would they'd have to protect that, they'd have to
protect NC State and North Carolina. Sure, I mean we don't play Wake
Forest anymore. That used to be one they call it. But Florida,
Georgia the world's biggest cocktail party years. Like, yeah, they all have
stupid names something. Although you know they'll they'll have those regular refs, but
you know what, maybe you do them every other year. Well I don't,
I do the whole overall thing. I can't tell you about Clemson,
Clemson, Miami and uh Florida. Stay don't go into the SEC. They
seem like SEC team. Yeah, but then the ACC just becomes a basketball
conference again. I mean that's why they brought in Miami and h and V
Tech to begin with, to make them more of a football serious conference.
And if those teams go, I mean, you're looking at becoming like the
Big East. Possibly you're on the fast track to becoming the Big East.
Yeah. Well, what they're gonna do this is like fucking U all the
media, fucking companies where they just start buying up everything, everything, everything,
everything, everything, and then eventually there's going to be four conferences of
fucking fifty four teams Yeah, that's it. That's because that's who they want
in divisions in each conference, that's who they want to pay. But in
reality, guys, in reality, reality, where's this money coming from?
I mean, where's it coming from. There's a reason, do you know
why they really want to open up the the the playoff the college football playoffs
system because the same teams were making every and people were losing interest. So
they had to open it up because the numbers were going down. Because it's
becoming a regional sport. And I don't care how exciting it is, It's
gonna become a regional sport if you keep doing it. This is the fucking
problem. Nobody you care about college football till your team is eliminated, and
then you watch Alabama and fucking baseball fucked up, and everyone's always like,
oh my god, baseball at tendenc ratings drop. Yeah, because teams like
Baltimore and Cincinnati are still in it. Man, These teams that were great
way back today are now great again. They have a fucking chance. Competitive
balance makes everything better, and it's just like, dude, Honestly, the
Braves have a big part of that too. Man. The Braves have such
a huge fan base nationwy because of TBS and the nineties, the Braves being
good again, it's been great, faithful. Cincinnati dropped their nuts. Yeah,
well it's funny. And they played Braves played in Wriggly today and I
mean it sounded like maybe thirty percent of the crowd was there for the Braves.
It was. It's kind of wild. It's kind of like they've woken
up there. They're old fans from the nineties. But yeah, all the
good, all the teams you want, except for the Yankees, you know,
and to Boston really are really quite good this year, right, I
mean, the Yankees are super fan Dodgers the second best team in the National
League when you know what to every country in the fucking world and everybody recognizes
what a Yankees having a Dodgers that are. Yeah, yeah, that's how
big. The Baltimore Orioles hat is. No, well, you know,
it's really crazy, is how Baltimore is thriving when Washington died. The Nationals
are ship right now, and now Baltimore is excited because they've been bad for
so long that their farm system is finally starting to blossom, right, and
they're getting all these players coming up and it's just like and baseball will learn
nothing from this because the players are greedy and they won't do a cap that
will allow all these because it's like, yeah, you could have once in
a while San Diego team that's like, fuck you, we're competing with the
Dodgers, right, But not every owner can do that even if they want
to, because their market isn't big enough. But if you cap it and
a team like my team, Dodgers will take, this will hurt them because
they got all the money in the fucking world because they got this giant,
fucking market, but you make it way more competitive. It's like, look
at the stands at Cincinnati. They're packed now because they got that kid who's
just fucking something. It's not even the market as much anymore. The market
used to mean a lot more, but now it's these owners. Dude.
I mean, look at I mean, he's in New York obviously, but
Cohen has no problem just I mean, did you see what he did at
the deadline. You know, he spent three hundred million dollars on players they
stink somehow, the Mets, and then at the deadline he traded guys and
then basically bribed the team's to send back prospects. It's it hasn't rarely been
anything like it. Like they sent out Scherzer and and uh, you know
what's his name, uh, Berlander, and basically paid most of their contracts
to get prospects back, so that they were just giving away players basically,
and then certainly tons of cash. Congrats to Berlander, who had the greatest
move of all time playing for the Astros. Takes like three hundred million dollars.
Yeah, goes to the Mets for forty five minutes and then gets traded
back to the Astros before his fucking house got out of s bro and they're
still paying most of his money. Isn't that crazy? I mean, the
mat the Mets seemed curse the same way that the Clippers seem curse. It's
so great, man, Like you're just praying out talk so much shit to
me too. He was like, what what's gonna happen? We have unlimited
money, Obviously we're gonna win. I'm like, okay, dude, let's
see. I'm with you, because that's what everybody's been thinking about. The
uh, the the Clippers, you know, yeah, shit, I mean
basketball, what's a more cursed franchise than the Clippers, Like, no matter
what they do, they just can't win. Well, dude, I mean
Charlotte hasn't been to the playoffs. I mean, you know Detroit, but
Charlotte Hornets have never won a seven game playoff series. I saw I saw
a meme that said, uh, John F. Kennedy has missed one Detroit
Lions playoff victory. That's amazing. Wow, that's so funny. I like
them. I like them this year. They got the right I love that
coach. They got the right coach, and they got good talent. I'm
excited they got talent of the Jets. Is this Hard Knocks brain again though?
Because I feel like every time we watched Hard Knocks, really this coach
is something. He's great. I've been watched Hard Knocks yet. I just
I mean, there's this seems to be a different kind of Aaron Rodgers,
Like he's actually I think this is Oh no, no, I'm talking about
the Lions, buddy. Sorry, Oh no, man. Look at how
they went on a fucking run towards the end of that season. Everyone knew
it, like, and that's why when they were drafting I'm like, why
did you just draft offensive players. You literally just needed to stop some of
these people at the end of the game and you would have had an insanely
better record. Nope, Let's get some more fucking wide receivers. And I
get it, but I don't know if I like them. Dude, I
like the I think the Lions win the North. I think this is the
best year for them to do it. I mean, who who who else
is in that in that division? Packers aren't going to do it. Vikings,
Sorry, I think they're gonna take a step back, Bear's mine take
a step up, and I don't think they're going to be as good as
the Lions a lot of money. Is there anything about justin field that makes
you think this becomes something I mean liked. Can we sit there and go,
I'm gonna do this to Jason the Encyclopedia of NFL Football. When did
we see a player struggle for two years and then it's suddenly clicked at quarterback?
And I'm not saying I'm not saying it hasn't. I'm going honest question,
when have we seen it? Hey, Manning, That's That's exactly what
I was about to say. Yeah, he wasn't great at first. No,
no, I get that, I get that. I get what you're
saying, but we always did when it's happened for years. But both of
those weren't I think it wasn't. His second year he was good. His
second year they were really good, right, weren't they? I think the
first year they were garbage. But I think a second year he was really
they were really good, and he was really And my whole thing is like
Justin Fields came in with so many questions, Payton Manning came in with none.
He threw it from more than two He threw from more than three hundred
yards no times last year, and then he only threw it from more than
two hundred yards and barely twice the whole season. I just like, there's
nothing there that says that he's he's a quarterback. But he had no offensive
line and I can't, dude, I get it. I did it.
Watch him. He was missing wide up and guys, look at him,
break here, make or break here. So you look at Andrew luck Man
you did that. I you know, you want to speak about poaching.
There's a word that out there that ESPN is trying to bring back. Calm
Collard right, Oh yeah, there's they want to throw him big dollars and
and but he talks about it all the time, like Andrew Luck's line was
notoriously the worst all the time, all the time. Did they still talk
about bringing him back? Apparently? Jim Rsey is like got him, you
know him on lock you know, because teams are talked about trying to like
possibly trade for him and whatever. And he's like, he's like, I'll
take you to court. I'm a meaning, yeah that's what you said.
Yeah right, I mean it's super I mean so I I mean, and
listen, I'm gonna be honest with you. I hope Justin Fields does well.
I'm not rooting against Bears fans. If he doesn't do well this year,
they're going to start making other plans. How did they feel about him,
Jason, Like, generally, you know, all the Bears fans,
I think they feel exactly like that, Like first year rookie wasn't his fault.
Next year, okay, he had no one to throw too, and
he's running for his life the whole fucking time. Yeah, Okay, now
we spent all this money to build a team around him. Okay, we'll
see and I think they all have that weight and see attitude like there's no
more excuses after this year. You had your rookie year, Okay, you
got thrown into the fire. Your second year, you lost half the team,
you had coaching changes, you got offensive coordinator changes. Okay, well
now you got the same system and you got all these new offensive weapons and
people to protect you. You kind of don't have any more excuses. And
I think that's how they feel. I'll tell you this. I have a
lot of front and that a lot. I've four or five friends that have
Bear season tickets. None of them have a fucking Fields jersey, so they
ain't going out buying jersey's. Like, this guy's gonna be around for a
while. Yeah, he has a blow up here at listen. I'm I
want him to I wunch out on him. I'm not gonna say he's bad
yet, but I'm definitely not gonna say he's good yet. And that's my
feeling on this kid in in in Um for the Colts, Like, I'm
sorry, bro, it's just like when has that worked out where the guy
goes from playing one year athlete to just dominate like he played fourteen college foot
games or some shit like that. Yeah, I'm sorry, I understand he's
like a genetic super friend. They said he's starting. I missed if they
said he's gonna start not yet, I don't think. Okay, but you
know that's the fucking plan better than the planning a fucking first round pick.
Yeah, well, letnna see who else they have? How do you guys
know who else they have on their team? That quarterback? Who's I think
they got the who's the guy with the fucking mustache? They got Gardner Minshew,
he's listed at the depth right now. And then they got Ellinger,
which is I mean that guy he's not Minshew's mentions a band band aid on
a slit throat. Yeah, he's another one of those guys that we were
talking about in the text arout the other day. That's just like a solid
ass backup guy. You know, there's a whole there's a whole tier of
really solid ass backup. Why does they would have Teddy Bridgewater? I don't
think he body needs him. I really don't think there's there's somebody will someone's
gonna get hurt, like the Raiders could have gotten them. That'd be a
great backup. Who's your backup. You guys got who a trans person?
Yea? The first people to have that is that? Is that the thing
where you got to say what you're thinking? The first thing that you pulled
was the thing you think about the most. Like, I try to go,
what's the most ridiculous thing I could come up with? Because you got
you got Hoyer and Aidan O'Connor's bad. Yeah, but where the Voyer had
to start for fucking seventeen games? You'd fucking you would, Oh you're you're
done? Yeah? Well, yeah, that's a question. There's you know,
Arizona is gonna tank for that kid, and you can't help the tank.
I don't think Arizona could win if they wanted to win. Yeah,
dude, they're two good quarterbacks. I mean two teams are gonna get great
quarterbacks this year. Drake May and the USC kid are both incredible. Well,
who are those teams that are gonna be so bad? Uh? Let
me ask a good question. Houston already has their guy. They got the
guy from Ohio State, who I think is gonna be good. I think
Arizona. I think Houston's gonna be slightly better than people think. I'm not
saying, but I think they might win six or seven games. Okay,
you think that. I don't know about that. If the guy for who
they get out Ohio State? What's the five games? All right? Power
rankings, let's see they have football pro Football Focus has of course the Cardinals
last, then the Texans, then the Rams. Wow. So can you
imagine the Rams? I mean they they ended up with, they could get
the kid from USC, heads would explode. The'd be like they'd be like
Matt Leinert playing in a home or something that would be special. And that
Brandon Stadium too. And Taylor swift Field. Yeah, Taylor swift Field.
That's way. Hey, you want to hear something funny, dude, So
Charlotte the Charlotte soccer team, speaking speaking of Taylor swift the Charlotte soccer team
was supposed to have two home games. They're in this big MLS tournament and
because Beyonce is playing there and it just takes like two weeks to set up
her ship, they couldn't have home games. They had to play them on
the road or in other stadiums. Crazy. That shit's got much money.
You're fucking Charlotte Mosquitos. They're making well I mean, dude, they sell
forty thousand. I mean their second in attendance in the in the MLS,
but bigger. Oh yeah, dude, they they when they opened the Top
Bowl, they sell seventy thousand. I mean, soccer is a popular over
there. It's huge in the Triangle. Dude. Kids grow up playing it
and there's like the there's a big youth program there. And I live in
Bermuda. The Research Triangles, the Gay Riley, Durham Chapel Hill is this
area and a lot of people come from other states up Northea schools. Okay,
yeah, it's uh, well no, but it's it's actually Research Triangle
Park. It's a bunch of like technology like IBM and Google have a bunch
of offices in that area, and so they pull people from out of state
and they're all big soccer fans typically so but yeah, isn't that crazy.
That tells you how much money those concerts make. Dude. They that's enough
for them to just not not have a home game. In fact, it
even moved fan Fest or the football teams fan Fest had to get moved to
a Wednesday. It's normally on Saturday. It's always been on Saturday. Well,
here's the thing, dude, Taylor Swift is so fucking big, dude.
I mean, it is like we don't see things like this. I
mean the last time we saw something like this Beatles. Maybe it's pretty something.
It's pretty amazing to see. And have you seen the lines for her
merch? They're like three miles long and people set up like card tables and
they sit there and just playing cards for fucking crazy. I don't get it.
It's like five hours to get a teacher. See, that's that's women.
When they just get they just sink up and they just like this is
the wand but it's not just it's like it's why Barbie did well. They
just women all together like we're gonna do that, and they just think and
hive mind and it just see think, yeah went and saw Matt right.
She's my age, she went saw Matt right. And it's just like because
just women sink up and this becomes the thing and they're all in it.
Yep. Yeah, they do have their own culture, don't they. Women
guys that oh no, of course, yeah, but just not not in
the same way. But we'll do that for sport. But that's it.
We'll super Bowl its guys. Never all guys have to get together, none
of that go fucking We'll all dress the same fucking sea. There is that,
but it doesn't take over the whole gin. It's like tart, you
know. I mean, it's in genre. It's genre specific. It's like,
Frank, the NFL's maybe the close thing we have to Taylor Swift,
right, is that it I guess yeah, maybe probably who could sell out
more stadiums the NFL or Taylor Swift. It's already been proven. It's Taylor
Swift right. I'm sorry proven it. It's it's sold out the stadium,
you know, because she puts people on the field too. She sold out
stadiums that didn't sell out during the regular season. And you kind of look
at it like the female equivalent of that is like Taylor Tomlinson, who like
when she's nineteen, like this could be the biggest complem. She's huge,
and they all, they both Taylor Tomlinson and Taylor Swift both kind of have
this this ability to tap in to the female psyche of like woe is me?
Right, Like it's just like like like you both and she I mean,
like if they did a show together. I think people's tense would have
wah, Taylor Swift and who Taylor Tomlinson, like, like, you gotta
change you want to make a fucking trillion dollars, become a fucking like a
manager, dad, and change both your kid's names to Taylor Ghosts and Taylor
Ninja. Here we go. That's cash money, bro, that's just cash
in the bank. I went to two Bears games. Both games were not
sold out, and I think that stadium moldibup. I don't know, sixty
five thousand people. Taylor Swift came Chicago eighty seven thousand people, and there's
twenty thousand in the parking lot singing because they couldn't get in, and they're
out in the parking lot singing. You know if she I bet she does
Aerosmith. You know they're doing their final tour. I think it probably will
be because that picture you shove me as Steven Tyler, they looking like a
grandma's is disturbing. But but they they're selling tickets behind the stage, behind
the stage like you you're just looking at their ass the whole time and you're
just listening. Care No, I mean no, as long as you could
see the band. That's all. They give a farre at the Forum or
so I think it's the or they might Yes, I think it's at the
Forum and it's just they're selling tickets behind the stage. It might be a
sofi actually, I hold on. I would imagine maybe form small ish,
I mean compare we speaking big place. But I'm gonna go. The tickets
were like a thousand dollars when they first went on sale. But Smithy,
Dude, that was my first concert. Bro, I have a lot of
fun. And dude, they're playing with the Black They're playing with the Black
Crows. Man, the Black Crows are opening for them. Think about that.
That's a good show, dude. Yeah, I would leave after the
Black Crows. No, dude, I love there smith as a kid man.
That was great in their day. Dude. Yeah, and that early
stuff. Dude, their ship from the seventies and the early eight dies with
do both of you go to your bones stone? Absolutely, I saw them.
I would love that. This is funny. I saw them in their
original farewell tour, and this was in the early nineties, the first farewell
tour. They're like, we're leaving, do you still have that shirt?
I'm sure, it's black. Every t shirt you have is black, dude,
because I have tits? All right? It really sucks. Well,
you know what, here's they're playing the forum. Yeah, they're playing their
thing. They're playing the forum. I saw your Instagram thing where your trump
was left open. Yeah, and here the thing about you, you wear
the black shirts because you got the tits. That's fine, you would get
away with it. But the entire time you talk about your tits. Yeah,
that's all he talks about, dude, is this it's the skies.
And you go, I'm wearing the skies because I'm really a hideous woman under
here, and they go, well, no one would notice it. You
gotta the ski is on. Yeah, well, dude, I just I'm
trying to get rid of my my fucking tits. I don't think you have
the tits you used to have. No, I mean today I looked at
I'm like, wow, day's lost a tiny bit away. What do you?
What do you? What do you? What do you? What are
your tip tip? The scales are now saying well, I haven't waved my
honest, I haven't WAIVEHD myself in a while. I'm at the last I
was there that I was around one ninety five. My goal is one one
eighty five. And then if what were you at your biggest during the pandemic,
you were like two twenty five? Yeah, twenty five. We're doing
this seventy five seventy five days. We're doing this seventy five day thing where
we don't where we have like a diet. And then I don't what is
Sam doing? Not eating soda, drinking soda or something, not drinking soda,
not watching poor Those are my tooth for seventy try. You're putting on
weight watching poor. I just like I'm trying to get rid of all the
spiritually low vibrational pull. So many lesbo videos. Last night I put on
eleven pounds. Do you guys watch lesbian stuff? I don't watch. I
grew up with it, bro it does not. Yeah, that's like that's
like watching grew up with That's like watching his fucking video watching videos living not
my mom Johnny. So, Sam, you're giving up soda, and Johnny,
what are you giving up? I'm doing up fifty carbs a day.
Uh, we're supposed to do ninety minutes of exercise to day. I feel
like Sam just gave up on that. Uh. And we're supposed to fucking
jiu jitsu and ship. We're supposed to read ten pages of nonfiction a day,
which I've been doing that too. I've been doing a lot of reading.
And just fourteen pounds. Yeah I could, Johnny need to lose fourteen
pounds, Bro, I could lose another twenty like that? What do you
wage? It's all around my It's all around my thighs. Bro, Johnny's
got those lady hips. Dude, I got what. It's my it's my
It's not my hips, it's my thighs. Bro, Johnny, you're leg
syndrome. No, my calves are, my cavs are. My cavs are
good. But it's just it's just all around my thighs and around my waist.
Uh No, dude, I like I was probably like one nineties seven
when this started on my six Yeah, and now and now I'm like one
eighty two something like that. Holy shit, you're living my dream, Johnny.
Johnny does. Johnny, You're fat is my thin and you're you're you're,
you're you're your stay right now is my dream? Sam My, My
fat is your aids, Johnny. Johnny does have the thighs of my like
a lesbian fast pitch softball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I always have.
I was. I think from my they got really developed because I was
here we go a catcher when I played baseball early, and uh, let's
goya the great there we go, Johnny, you got it? There?
Good? How great was it? Though? Like I'm gonna be honest with
you because I'm a Raiders fan the way my my football season usually lasts about
three weeks and that's done. It's obvious we're all so I I enjoy like
when when I see like the Hall of Fame game, I get excited.
Oh yeah, I love preseason. Yeah, it's just like, when's the
last time the Raiders were good? Dude? When when when were they really
good? Like, I mean what Jack Delo, right, we're pretty good.
And then they got rid of them because they wanted Chucky. Then they
got rid of Chucky and they had that one guy, that super Italian dude
who actually saved the season, and then got rid of them, and then
they got rid of them brought in this piece of shit. The Panthers did
that too last year because you know, their interim coach did really well and
then they still got rid of them. I'm not gonna lie to you,
guys. I've just added a third team to my second teams I root for
by the what's that Detroit? Uh no, no, no, no,
I'm gonna add uh Well, here's how it goes, Raiders number one,
Bills to A Okay, to b IS Jacksonville because they got family there.
I can't I can't do more than one quarterback too. I can't do more
than one team. And then to c IS the Saints because Derek Carr.
Fuck the Saints, they suck. Okay, here goes my favorite team sam
one A Falcons, one B Falcons, then Chargers, Chiefs and probably Torontos
are all tied. I don't give a shit about any other team. I
was thinking about adopting the Angels is like my al team, just to go
out and watch Otani. I would love to go out and watch. I
love the Angels, but I'm I'm a Dodgers and Angels fan. I heard
parking there is just super easy. That's why I think I would rather go
see the Angels than the Dodgers. I've always had a sauce spot for the
Padres. Really kind of like that city. I like that stadium. Um,
yeah, I guess the Raiders work good two years ago. You're right.
I forgot that they were decent with car there when they lost to the
Bengals. But before that, like, I guess, yeah, they've been
okay. They lost in the they were they were twelve and four and twenty
sixteen. Damn, I don't I barely remember that. That was that last
good historically bad team they've had. They just haven't been consistently good. They
just before that, they were garbage. Like before that, Jack del Rio
and got so listen they were so and Jason YouTube, Oh daywa airmuffs?
Can I listen? You listen, dud so. So you know what caused
Jack del Rio to get ran out was that he was he was he liked
Trump and you know that real well, that's the story being told. And
the only reason I'm bringing this up is because I don't know if you guys
heard, but the dude, this is why the NBA is fucked, bro.
The NBA Player League is upset with the Orlando Magic because they donated money
to the Santis. Johnny did Orlando Magic. I don't understand that what the
team donated money? Who or the owner can you look it up. I
think it might be the owner. It doesn't make sense that the team did,
but it's possible. But what I find amazing is that the NBA players
have the balls to get mad at somebody for getting political. Okay, here
we go. The union representing the NBA players condemned the Orlando Magic's decision to
donate to a superpack supporting Republican uh presidential candidate Ronda Santis, calling it alarming
and alluding to the ongoing feud between the federal the Florida governor, and the
Disney over that don't say gay thing. Oh, here we go. Okay
the NBA. Uh, okay, it was a fifty thousand dollars political donation
made at Orlando Magic organization. Yeah so by the team. I didn't know
teams donated money to politicians who stupid? Which one whole Florida don't say gay
thing. It's stupid even Yeah, but dude, you know what else is
stupid? BLM on the fucking court that's stupid too, byovers. Get all
that shit out, Yeah, get rid of all of it, Get rid
of the military. Nobody watches the league is because it's too political and it's
hilarious that the people who have decided to make it so political the players are
upset when somebody gets political. Yeah, that's funny. You're right, it's
just ridiculous. It's just fucking ridiculous. It's not the politics. It's that
it's not their politics. If he gave money to Joe Biden, they'd they'd
be like, let's send some free agents there. Yeah, that's something that
could legit hurt them in free agency. Actually, I didn't even think about
that. They're kind of dumb for doing it. Well, they're they're amazing
because they've been just hitting on draft picks left and right. So yeah,
they're gonna have a good team and everybody. And I'm telling you, man,
there's a you're gonna see a lot more conservatives in sports very soon.
Why why. I think they're gonna start seeing more people coming out saying,
fucking I like Trump. But what what's what's changing? I mean, yeah,
that they like Trump, Yeah, because forever they did, they were
like shunned if they didn't play ball, and they were bullied into doing politics.
You look at what's his face, Isaac that was on Washing. He
wouldn't he wouldn't fucking kneel. He got tons of shift from everybody. It's
just like, dude, it's just like it's too political. That's why it's
dying. And now comes out that the NBA David Adam Silver is the reason
why what's his face is no longer commentating. Van Gundy is no longer commentating
on ESBN because he was critical the refs. So that alien look at motherfucker
went in there and got him kicked off, and that just kicked out the
role. So they're like, oh, geah, we got rid of Van
Gundy. Let's get rid of Mark Jackson too, and they just booted him
and now they're gonna have You're gonna love this Doris Days. That her name
Doris, not Doris Day. She's dead, the explorer, explorer, explorer,
what are you? What are we talking about? What's she doing?
She's scoring, bro, she's scoring. What is Doris doing? Doris?
What's her name? Doris Burnt. She's gonna be calling the she's gonna be
colored commentary on the NBA Finals. Now, Oh god, I gotta put
women in everything, dude. Yeah, dude, that's what she's great.
She's kind of I don't want to hear that. Voice for fucking seven games.
No is when she gets excited. That's when she gets annoying making it.
I can't think of her name right now. But who's in the code
doing the NFL game last night? The Hall Fan game. I didn't catch
it. I don't know. It was one of the main ones for NBC
Sunday Night Football. I don't know. There's that hot black chick in the
studio or on the sidelines, blonde hair. She's been here forever. I'm
don't know. God, damn, this is stark Yep. She still she
can still get it. I love that you made me look that up,
just for you to say she could get it that she did. Like,
dude, he's got some real point about something she did here forever. She
can still get some She can get it. Bro then the Cohen is the
best. That's why she's still rob it on mute. I didn't hear words
she said, but I was like, ooh la la, yeah. I
mean no, she's great. She's always been great. I like when she
started. But I do hate the push of anybody that's not good at their
job, just because whatever of what they are, it's not bad. There's
nothing like you should have women pepper through the whole thing. Well, what
you are telling you, and this gets into equity, what you're telling us
is that women love talking sports and people love to hear women talk sucking sports
and Gianna job. Tianna would be great at any of those jobs. Like,
dude, you're talking how many women are in the United States, Jason,
one hundred and fifty million. Let's say two hundred million. Half half
the women are in the United States now a population of the United States is
right, So we're talking like, what two hundred thousand, two thousand women.
Yeah, so I'm bad with numbers. What there's a couple of chicks
who nail it. Okay, the chick that just signed with Dan Lebotard.
I don't know if you know this, but Dan Lebotard has a whole setup
down in Florida. He's got his whole network and he's like picked up all
the guys who got kicked off of ESPN, brought him down and something.
It's super interesting. I like it. I like him. I like him
a lot. I like him too. Sometimes he gets too woke for me.
Yea, I do like him. Yeah, he's smart and he's he's
been right about ESPN from the jump. Like everything there that they're doing,
he's identified. Here's some stats, by the way, this is from a
pole uh from April twenty twenty three. Avid fans of the NFL fifty Wait
that can't be right. What is this? It's oh, I see Okay.
Here here's the breakdown avid fans casual fans. Fifty one percent of the
total fans are avid male fans thirty percent. What is this? What is
these numbers? The problem to one hundred? It doesn't make sense. Here
set badmath dot com? Are men? Google? Google? Is Google is
doing wrong? Okay? So only okay, fifty one percent of male fans
of the NFL are avid fans. Only twenty four percent of female fans who
are called themselves fans are actually fans, are avid fans, you know what
I'm saying. So like women who say they like it, they actually you
aren't really to it, you know what I mean? And that's I think
that's the difference. A lot of women, you know, are saying like,
oh, yeah, I'll watch a game, you know, I'll watch
it again. ESPN is selling their souls based on these numbers, and really,
you look at it, they're not putting their money behind it. The
women. How many women you know, I've got season tickets to any sporting
thing, you know what I mean? Not many? Not many? Yeah,
I know that's about it. Yeah, I mean I can't think of
anybody other than I know. She's an out liar. She's great at her
She should be doing more stuff in sports. I don't know why she isn't,
but she should because they've been number they've been touting is that women and
girls make up forty six percent of the NFL fan base. But it's a
lie when you think, when you go deeper, you realize, actually,
you know they call themselves fans, but they're going with their boyfriends and their
husband. You know what many ex girlfriends I I I fucked into being Clipper
fans and that now hate the Clippers. Yeah no, they still love the
Clippers. Oh really? The point is this, dude, The point the
Clippers and hate you is that what is the number of women who actually do
fantasy football? Exactly? Yeah? I actually know a lot, but they're
all lesbians? Right? What is percentage? Johnny? Can you google that?
What percentage of fantasy football people are women? I don't know if Pugh
has done their annual poll on fantasy football jokes, women are like, I
love sports. Really, you love sports? Have you ever wished aids on
your best friend because he beat you in fantasy football? That's loving sports.
This is the thirty eight percent. This, I don't know if that's real
or not, but I would say not. That's a bigger number than I
would have thought. Is that bigger higher lorder than what you would have thought?
Him more than I? And I don't believe it. And another one
says thirty three percent here, that's that's I would guess. Yeah. If
I had to go, what percentage of all of the fancy football players people
who play football our female I would put it at fifteen percent. Yeah.
And now we're thinking back to the women that have been and they were all
there because they're boyfriends or husbands or in the league. Yeah, yeah,
and it's what listen, just think of your own fantasy league. How many
fantasy leagues have you been in that there were multiple female players in? I
have? They've all quit though since then. Yeah, but it's only guys
now. It's not a lot. I mean, like, I think I
had one out of what commedy strung league had one. Yeah, who was
it? Was Sarah? And who else was it? Yeah? I mean
like you very rarely see it. So just in a fantasy league where it's
like what eight to ten, it's one. Well, I'm gonna say is
right now, we have to have two females in this year's punch drunk fantasy
league and see how they do. Do we have no females who listen anymore,
They've all give listeners. We have listeners that have wives or girlfriends that
they say they will be in it for whatever reason. And if you want
them in it, you have to send us some nude pictures of them.
I'm totally kidding about that. Please don't cancel me from nothing, actually going
and cancel me from nothing. You want to take nothing away from me,
have it and have it all. But I think we should have two because
I've never been in a fantasy football league with two females in it. I
think I was in one. It was the guys from the Middle Ease or
Afghanistan that I once saw them that I played their football. The women be
in fantasy league. Didn't let the women do anything. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, you know. The whole thing was man love Thursdays right, like
the Afghanisee. Women for procreation and men for fun. They go, they
go in the fucking uh mountains. The ass blast each other. Now you
know, women are not doing any each other face, They're not doing any
prep to get asked. They're just hitting the holes and whatever in there is
in there. Dudey and statistically to the greatest sports socks show ever can a
bro This podcast has become our version of the Ken movie. By the way,
Oh dude, did I I sent you that picture I saw Ken?
Oh? Yeah, yeah, I would love to say that when we get
canceled from nothing. He looked the same. How was he? He looked
better, Actually he looked magic Ken, a little more fucking in shape,
but with a I don't know who this is who this guy was old roommate.
It's not my roommate. He was your neighbor. He was my neighbor.
Yeah. Ken moved out and I moved in. Yeah, Ken moved
out. Can used to do all of our videos for the Naughty showing all
that. Yeah he Ken basically made Little Lester. He made a video called
Little Esther She's Got Questions and if we watched that one time? Yeah,
Ken made that ken Ken was Tripley's neighbor, and then he looked back to
Detroit and he's got questions. She needs answers. This is gonna get uncomfortable.
I don't know. I forgot how the song went. Now, that's
that was it. That was it. I was telling people about sticky fingers
Gunzalas and they couldn't stop laughing. One of my favorite things to do with
sticky fingers. So we get so canceled right now, but we can we
get so canceled for nothing? It was great. So did we tell you
about sticky fingers, Johnny? Yeah? I think we've talked about that before.
Oh, we're gonna talk about it again. Okay, we're living our
glory days. Shut the fuck up. These are our glory days, right.
You remember when we had hope, Jason. It's so been so long,
Sam, I don't even I'm did you ever? Did you ever do
anything of that stupid dummies tape you found? Oh? What do you do
with that? You fucking fuck? I'm looking at it right here. Okay,
it hasn't moved, it hasn't moved, But I gotta get it to
Jarvis before he dies too. Actually, he's doing really good. Yeah,
he texts me the other day he's in jiu jitsu. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, when you go to do jiu jitsu, fagot. I was making
that joke the other day because I go, fucking Sam's doing jiu jitsu,
Jarvis. I'll my fifty year old friends and doing jiu jitsu now, and
they're getting beat up by thirty year olds. I feel like I'm being left
out. I got but you know, I just just save money. I
just stand outside the Walmart and I see a thirty year old and I call
him a fagot, and they just stomp a shipthold in me and I a
boy. I feel like I got a little cardio in the day. Oh
yeah, you text me the other day that he's doing that. I got
my stripe. But I'm just getting murdered by Mexicans, bro, he says,
getting murdered by Mexicans. And there he took somebody he like was restaurants.
Some guy goes one guy's kind of funny. I can't suck around him
a little bit, or so he thought. And then he so Jarvis got
this guy's back, and there on the ground and Jarvis and Jarvis had his
back Jarvis whispered in his ear, I'm actually inside you right now, and
then the guy got like really freaked out and you didn't want to roll with
Jarvis. Yeah, I think I take it too far. Ye if Yeah,
you can't make homo rodic chokes because everyone's like, come on, dude,
not comfortable everybody. I mean you're on edge about that, I imagine
anyway, right, yeah, all matter what close to penetration. It's so
crazy, bro, It's not every day somebody's trying to you and then you're
just getting murked by bigger guys. What did you say, Jason, No,
I'm just saying just the fact that even if you even whispered anything,
let alone with that, Yeah, yeah, just whispering, you're totally really
having a good time right now. That would be if you're just like,
whoa, you're really You're really warm. That's gotta be. Your your arms
are so big. Wow, I know, blood feels good. I'm my
fucking rock hard cock. Hey, no, home, you got so so
Jason. Recently I took a gas station boner pill and I was up for
three days. Yeah, we talked about on the last show. I was
asked that because you wouldn't answer me. I'm just bored. Oh yeah,
you did answer me, because I remember that being on That's what That's the
realization I came to a couple of weeks ago was that Sam has to That's
why he works so much is because there are problems when Sam isn't doing anything.
Yes, when the things, yea, I can't. I gotta keep
moving, bro, or else if I stop, I just You're like a
shark, except that when you stop, you don't die. You just masturbate
furiously, idle hands for Sam quickly have a boner in them fast. I'm
with you, dude, It's not you know. And of course I'm sure
I've already talked about this. But the same thing with Paplo Francisco. I
saw Pablo the other day and like, I just realized, he's a super
computer. How's he doing the same just badly as demons? Funny as fuck?
Funny as fuck? And I recognize myself and him. What are you
dealing with your nipples? Bro? Will you just trying to show us your
nipples? No? I'm button my shirt because I got bit my mosquito at
the beach other days, and I'm my chest hitches That's why I just can't
move anywhere else. We do not have bad mosquitoes here, and I am
flaming on for mosquito. He's the best about bugs, dude. There's just
no no like flying things here. They don't bother you, man, It's
great salt. The salt water kills too. Roaches. We got roaches,
plenty of roaches. But ches out there sometimes they fly, bro sometimes.
I saw one time in my last place when two when I was living by
the fucking armies over there. I remember I turned one of my lights on
and there was the biggest cockroach I ever saw in my kitchen. He goes
turn it back off, the light off, and I fucking moved out.
John Capparello used to have a joke about how he swatted a fucking cockroach and
just like it threw out his shoulder. It was so big, and it's
funny, dude, what about this? Uh, I'm gonna get into the
Das Paul fight tomorrow, Okay, Yeah, And then I got a jam
before we get into that. I gotta hear you got especially you're sam your
thoughts on this Lizzo shit. Well, my thought is is like all these
people behind closed doors or scumbags, But I don't believe that she did this
at gunpoint. You look at her dancers. They're all fat, by the
way, if you notice that, they all have like, oh yeah,
that was so she got these fat dancers and they're trying to tell us that
gunpoint she made them eat something out of a fucking sex workers hole that Willard
said, which, well, that's one thing. But to me, I'm
like, I've seen them and if they had maybe haven't had something to eat
like twenty minutes, that banana probably looked pretty delish. Yeah, bro,
you're telling me you forced fat chicks to eat. Well. The other one
that was funny, which kind of got me thinking about, you know,
this type where it ties into sports. She said that they were launching dildos
out of their vaginas and she was trying to get them to catch them,
and that got me thinking of like a jugs machine. That would be a
good juge machine for fucking some of these athletes, you know, you just
you know, and then she's got fucking quickly catch that thing before. By
the way, within five years, that will be a spot on ESPN three
catching builds. Yeah, didildolt catch Yeah? The buildolt catch, and then
they said that she fired them for being overweight. I'm like, come on,
man, can you imagine that getting fired by Lizzo for being fat?
Yeah? Yeah, that's my stupid that's a hypocritical part. That's a part
that you're like, yeah, you're a bitch, everyone knows it. Beating
the bananas out of the pussy that like, nobody thinks she made you do
that. You were you were in fucking Amsterdam, probably lit up thinking it
was hot. And dude, also, whatever happened to fucking hardcore rock and
roll? That sounds the rock and roll to me? When you're fucking you
haint of these stories at these seventy year old rock stars, they're like,
do you know what we fucking did when we were in fucking Amsterdam? Of
course, fourteen year olds you whatever. I'm not I'm not saying I'm not
saying that's good, but I am saying that's what they did. Though.
Sometimes you want to get down and dirty, you want to do some crazy
shit. You do some crazy shit, and now this is like they're like
a part of me, and I don't want to stick up the Lizzo if
that's what she was doing. If you're an employer, you're you're compliant in
ways, But a little bit of this sounds like, hey, when this
tour is over, you and me with both our fat asses, you know
we're getting fired and we're not gonna have fucking what if we fucking sewer for
all this other bullshit and then we get you know, we'll make fucking five
times the money were made on this tour. We could just chill out.
These are background dancers that are breaking stages, but they're fucking bouncing around fatness.
Those poor stages. They're fucking fat. We'll be right back right after
this break. But Yeah, the more I read about this thing, the
more I was just laughing. I was just like, this is what is
it? What is? So didn't come to and they probably tried to like
fucking heard railer where they're like, hey, we're gonna get this fucking dildo
banana story out and you firing us with being fat, which is like fucking
Miles Davis fire and fucking uh to my neighbors for being blacks that come on
man, and then come on man, you shit and they're like, well,
okay, well then we're gonna get this story out but it does.
I mean, she was a fucking Oprah winfree and all the shows. Girl.
You give a girl so much power, and you're such a good positive
role model for all these other and now she's got them catching fucking dildos like
the fucking throwing a fucking fish to a seal. Hey, there's your role
model, everybody. Hey, is that Jake Paul fight tonight? Minyana?
Yeah, it's tomorrow night. Jake Paul were tonight. They're way ins today
Jake Paul and I don't know. There's a couple other fights on the undercard.
I don't know if the undercards are any good. Last time there was
a couple of decent, decent boxers on it actually, and this one I
don't know. So there was a I saw the way into some other fighters,
so I didn't really look at the un I watched the Jake Paul fucking
way and it was stupid. But do you guys was on their card?
Let me see, A lot of peoples has no chance. The main undercard
is of two women fighting for the undisputed featherweight title. Yeh, I'm good
shit about that. Chris Sevilla and Jeremy Stevens I know Jeremy Stevens, I
don't know featherweights. Uh another woman another woman fight before that actually too,
Ashton, Ashton is a guy's I guess at k Ashton, Sylvie Silva and
William Silva their young professionals. It looks like the Silva brothers are fighting against
each other. Now it's Sylvie and Silva. Uh yeah, I don't I
don't know many of these guys. Honestly, they're all young guys. I
mean, what do you think is gonna happen? All I care about is
dude, Well, I heard uh the count bisbeing Michael Bisban talking about it,
and he brought up a good point. He goes, if this thing
gets out of the first or second round, Jake Paul could have a lot
of problems. I mean, Diaz, those guys have cardio out the wing
wing and one guy is way younger than the other. And he's way younger
and he's probably thirties five pounds heavier. Now here's the thing. Paul is
a bull. I saw Ida's training and in boxing, uh sparring with a
half of a joint in his mouth, and I was like, hmmm,
somebody's taking this a little more seriously than the other guy. Jake Paul can
hit off. I know he lost to Fury. Fury comes from the line
of boxers, and we'll see all that fight experience. What's over under that
ds there as a kick dude. Honestly, that's why that's why I'm gonna
watch because some crazy dude. How about those big fucking dudes going at it
at the h saw that that was actually at the Ways, That was actually
the Those guys are huge, dude. You had huge guys going at it
with huge guys. All those guys were like they had my favorite they had
tape fletchers on the stage, all in black suits. Yeah, and then
all of a sudden it was just a melee. Well, the one guy
who looked like the biggest of them all, like in a monster movie,
he was the biggest monster just started like moving the whole fucking he was throwing
everybody away from each other. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, wow.
Somebody fucking took a swing on him. But if you're like you get your
crew, we get our crew. What crew are you gonna get? Who
are you with? Nate Diaz million percent, Because once you get a couple
of guys like those big dudes are just used to be the biggest guy in
the room swinging. What happens when you take on big dudes? You also
have training. I saw a great video where they were end of you and
him and asking him about his does he have CTE in this? A lot
of people say to get fuck that shit. I'm fucking smarter than I've ever
been before. I got good for bro I'm down with that. Dude.
You get a guy, you get a black belt jiu jitsu guy versus just
a brawler, They're gonna fuck the brawler up. They're gonna fuck him up.
You're talking about a street by Yeah, I'm talking about if if you
had those two teams go at it. Yeah, Team Paul is fucked.
You get a budget, Yeah, street fighting overhead over there, fucking you.
You got a chance at a short, quick throw some punches. But
them once they start fucking like getting in the zone, you're fucked. B
That's like those rich, those rich white kids that like want to get a
gun and they want to be rappers, and they got their pants around their
butts and then they fucking go to a real about saying that's good fucking area,
and they're just they're fucking starts shitting their fucking pants that are around their
knees. They're like, you're either this or you're not this. How bad
would it be to shit your pants if they were around your knees. That
means it has to drop and then hit Yeah, yeah, collects down there,
just plops down. They call that the Grand Prize game. That's all
the bozo thing, The Grand Prize game. You gotta ship in the bucket
number six. Rest in peace, Pee Herman, goodbye, that guy shady
as fuck. Everyone got mad because I'm like, rest in peace, you
shady fuck? Are you talking about Pee Wee Herman? Oh? Yeah,
I mean it wasn't even visitor. I'm on the record. I don't care
if you jerk off in adult bookstores because that's where you're supposed to jerk off.
It okay that everyone's there for the jerk off. It's like everyone's like,
hey, he just said two pictures of underaged kids on his phone,
Like, do you really think they brought him in for two pictures? Is
that what you're telling me? You think they brought him up on fucking kitty
porn charges because he had two pictures in his phone You're fucking nuts, bro,
You're fucking nuts. He was connected to the fucking Ferris Bueller scumbag principle
who got busted for kitty porn Get the fuck out here, and everyone's like,
ahm, Massie, I'm like I get it. You love the show.
Yeah, well Jeffrey something Jeffreys Jones or something like that. Yeah,
that redheaded douchebag. Yeah, Jeffrey Jones. Yeah, he would do.
He used to be in everything. He was a great he got budget.
And then apparently one of my favorite movies he was in. Did you guys
remember this movie called uh, stay tuned? Did you remember that from like
the early nineties about like he gets sucked into his TV into like hell,
he gets pulled into hell? No, oh, I remember that? What
else? He was in an eleven year old like um as John Ritter was
in it, but he played the devil rest in Peace. Yeah, great
space Coaster, Get on board space. And then no good news is good
good news? Have you ever heard that? And I was like, dude,
this is about Jews. He even as a kid, I'm like,
this is about Jews, right, this gotta be about Jews. No good
news is good good news? I'm like, what, I don't know what
you're talking I'm just making a face like it's funny, but I don't know
what you're talking about. You don't remember a Great space coaster like a Muppet
Show kind of thing, but it's more great space coaster. It's called the
Space Hello Songs. I want to watch video the Great Space Coast. It
looks like some bootleg ass fucking Uh. Yeah, it wasn't uh this ship
when we were kids, bro, it was like some bootleg ass Muppets.
Yeah. Yeah, Oh dude, everything was a RiPP like like if the
Muppets took acid. Yeah. Well, on one um, there was there
was something Electric Company where Morgan Freeman got his start Spider Man on this Electric
Company. Dude, you don't remember Electric Company. I think it was before
my time. Yeah, this ship is yeah, bro, this is green
street space. You guys had to work. See see this is now It
got gay and I was like I hate this part. Also, look up
Electric Company? Can you look up the Electric Company? Sure, Johnny,
I'm doing I gotta go, I gotta get I gotta finish my dinner that's
just sitting on the table. Uh. The Electric Company? Is it like
some gay looking dudes. Is that what it is? Yeah, it's the
it's gay porn. It was for kids. But this doesn't look like it's
from your era. Is this the right thing? The seventies? This guy,
uh, maybe you're hit block back. They must have redid it the
Yeah, yeah, that's it right there. But hey you guys, yeah,
OK, it reminds me. It reminds me of that guy that got
busted in England. Uh for just imagine the sexual harassment this chick went.
This is back when gorillas were funny. M gorillas were always funny. This
is like Jimmy Sappole show Hug said, there's no way these guys didn't gettle
everybody. Look how the first the show was you're blowing up. Oh she's
hot, crank, bro, they're doing drug drank back when crank Look at
all the crank on his hat. What's his name? Really crank? Just
what is this? What in her? All that? You know? She
was love that she got that happened. This guy definitely touched anytime a children's
show is it was just a guy all this? Oh yeah come out?
Oh I think he became the guy to go wall Is he in black face?
Well? That guy's in black Look at black now he's he is,
Dude, look at it. That's this guy. He's in blackface. That's
Mexican thing. The Spider Man was not Electric Company guys in total blackface.
That's Mexican. They put that in the intro. Bro they put blackface in
the intro of the shade. But then look up, letter People. Do
you remember the Letter People? That was really deep. The letter piece is
gonna fuck up my recommendations. What do you mean your recommendation like on YouTube,
it's gonna think I'm in the fucking really gay seventies cartoons. The Letter
People intro. We should just do we should just do a podcast where we
just watched the Electric Company. That's a great thing for an audio podcast is
just to have a video stuff that nobody. This is the Letter people,
the Letter people. The this is terrible words all made letters. No kid
would watch this. Look out, look Johnny, listen the data shows they
get into it. Look how quickly the Letter people got into look out quickly
they get off there. It's into my recommendations already. Look at it,
dude, the Letter People. Can you watch a little bit of Letter People?
This was so great it was all acid. Click that. This is
yeah, we got this, Johnny, what's that? I used to get
that all the time. That's how you knew you follows. Look at us,
dude, we watch this on national television. Am I here? This
is letter people land. I'm missy. That john is such garbage. And
I hear, Johnny, we were smarter back then. Look at that.
This is what I had to grow up with, a yellow yarn boss.
No wonder you're afraid of being bored. This is all you had. Oh
my god, mister, watch our imagination. Good dude, was mind blown.
I can't do that anymore. That was the most advanced technology. But
you know you're showing me this. But I dude, I grew up watching
like on Cartoon Network, like the Jetsons and the flint Stones, and it
was way better than this ship you've been showing me. The old ones are
great. Did the Jetsons come out, Johnny? This was seventies. The
Jetsons were like the sixties, right, Yeah, see, let me take
a guess. Sixty The Jetsons were sixty. The Jetsons uh aired in primetime
from September sixty two to March sixty three. Wow, I was close.
Wow, that shows way that show was great, way ahead of his time.
It predicted a lot of stuff that ended up happening to predicted women,
robots that were clean. Yeah, the Flintstons, the Daughter Gotten Only fans,
you remember that. That that was crazy. But it was funny that
the that the Jetsons like it was still so sexist back there that they're like,
in the future, the cleaning robots will be women with wigs on and
a fucking made fucking and dude, the craziest see her flesh like pussy fucking
flapping a couple of times under the under the apron because you know it was
adjustable. That was the whole thing about the Jetsons. Oh yeah that you
can fuck your robot all right, guys, I just add some new dates
to my calendar. Come get weird, Come get weird. Hi, everybody,
everybody please considered suck. I talked to you guys here. I love
you guys. Why what did they think? Every girl's my girlfriend, every
girl's my girlfriend, every good deserted me? I'm a Sam loved the song.
The ad was like, yeah, special news. What am I saying?
Doby stop? Just let her rock These are kids we're supporting now.
If you are, if you're a drunk puncher by my album, if you
want to find this uh and buy it with knee high, let's get busy.
As the name of the album, every dross my girlfriend, every dross
my girlfriend made, I'm gonna make. I'm gonna put this a vote.
Should this be the new punch drunk Uh Them