WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.280 --> 00:00:19.760 Andy, cancel So High Ecstasy, Sag cancelgor It's not Sorrylogy. What's up? 2 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:24.280 Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing this episode, 3 00:00:24.320 --> 00:00:28.000 then you were meant to be here, so keep listening. I'm not 4 00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:32.640 Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh, other times, Babey girl, 5 00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:38.039 We're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered positive 6 00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:43.679 bitch self. That is Babe in true connection with herself. On this podcast, 7 00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:48.240 we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into exactly who 8 00:00:48.359 --> 00:00:52.960 we came here to be. Can I get a name? Amen? I 9 00:00:53.159 --> 00:00:56.719 recently put up on Instagram? What do you positive bitches want to hear this 10 00:00:56.880 --> 00:01:00.719 week? And, without a doubt, the most requested topic is how do 11 00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:06.040 we get them off of our pedda stal So we're gonna talk about it. 12 00:01:06.920 --> 00:01:11.640 If you feel like I'm good on the day to day, I'm fine doing 13 00:01:11.719 --> 00:01:15.439 my daily habits, but as soon as I start dating someone, I lose 14 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:19.120 my focus. All I can do is obsess over them. If you feel 15 00:01:19.239 --> 00:01:23.280 like I'm okay, but as soon as someone else comes into my life, 16 00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:32.519 everything gets cloudy. This podcast is for you if you are dating, If 17 00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:34.879 you are single, if you are in a relationship, you need to hear 18 00:01:36.040 --> 00:01:41.000 this information because let's not forget at the end of the day, we came 19 00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:45.120 into this world alone, and we're gonna leave this world alone. We cannot 20 00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:51.400 come to planet Earth and then betray our own existence the whole entire time and 21 00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:56.920 forget that we have a purpose, we have a presence, we have things 22 00:01:57.000 --> 00:02:04.359 to do while we are in this plane. So if you have trouble taking 23 00:02:04.439 --> 00:02:07.319 people off your pedestal, and as soon as you start dating someone or even 24 00:02:07.360 --> 00:02:10.840 a friendship, they become your whole entire world and you lose your center, 25 00:02:12.840 --> 00:02:16.080 you need to hear these words. Today we are gonna be treating in our 26 00:02:16.199 --> 00:02:22.039 anxiety about this connection, our confusion about this connection. What are they doing? 27 00:02:22.120 --> 00:02:25.319 What does this mean? And we are going to be receiving today in 28 00:02:25.439 --> 00:02:31.080 a little perfect box and a bow, our own piece. Again. We 29 00:02:31.199 --> 00:02:37.520 are gonna be decentering who were dating, even friendships, and we're gonna be 30 00:02:37.719 --> 00:02:43.479 dusting off our pedestal so we can take back our rightful throne. Now, 31 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:47.400 this podcast is not a hating on men podcasts. That's not what we're about. 32 00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:52.599 I love men, I love women, I love everyone Okay, so 33 00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:57.560 that is not what this is. This is real advice on how to take 34 00:02:57.680 --> 00:03:02.840 your focus back and live through your divine, feminine energy so you don't essentially 35 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:07.479 lose yourself and go crazy, because I've been there and it's really not fun. 36 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:13.080 We're not trash talking men. We don't need those faulty beliefs on this 37 00:03:13.280 --> 00:03:15.719 podcast. If you're looking for love, you want love, you want to 38 00:03:15.800 --> 00:03:21.000 feel love, then this is the right place for you. I don't care 39 00:03:21.039 --> 00:03:23.599 who you're dating. I don't care what you're dating. You need to be 40 00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:30.240 on your own pedestal. Before we get into our topic today, I do 41 00:03:30.439 --> 00:03:35.080 want to say join the pedestal path. This is a course which is based 42 00:03:35.120 --> 00:03:38.319 on my pedestal principle, which we're going to talk a little bit about today. 43 00:03:38.639 --> 00:03:40.719 But if you really want to do a deep dive, the pedestal path 44 00:03:40.759 --> 00:03:46.479 will help you refocus on you, stop energetically chasing, find your peace, 45 00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:51.919 find yourself, find your purpose, and essentially quantum leap to a more magnetic 46 00:03:52.199 --> 00:03:54.960 timeline. If you're going through a breakup, the twenty one Day Breakup will 47 00:03:55.000 --> 00:04:00.280 help you refocus on you, take your power back, shift the dynamic between 48 00:04:00.360 --> 00:04:04.000 you and your ex and discover yourself again. I created these things so that 49 00:04:04.280 --> 00:04:09.199 you can take your power back. I've been there, I understand it, 50 00:04:09.800 --> 00:04:13.360 and that's why I created these courses. You can also start with the Divine 51 00:04:13.400 --> 00:04:17.759 Feminine Healing Workbook and or the Calling your Power Back Workbook as well, or 52 00:04:17.879 --> 00:04:21.199 you can get the free meditation on YouTube to Call your Power Back. All 53 00:04:21.319 --> 00:04:25.639 that will be linked below, but without further ado. We have so much 54 00:04:25.720 --> 00:04:30.759 to talk about, so let's get into this. I want you to hear 55 00:04:30.920 --> 00:04:35.439 me when I say, no one is worth you losing your peace. No 56 00:04:35.560 --> 00:04:42.360 one is worth you betraying yourself. If someone is telling you you have to 57 00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:46.120 dull parts of yourself down in order to be with them, or they're not 58 00:04:46.360 --> 00:04:49.319 saying it, but making you feel as if that is the only way for 59 00:04:49.480 --> 00:04:56.800 this relationship to continue, it's not worth it. You might not realize this 60 00:04:57.079 --> 00:05:01.800 now, but betraying yourself now will leads you to not only hate them later, 61 00:05:01.959 --> 00:05:06.480 but hate yourself too. It leads to resentment, even if you don't 62 00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:13.560 feel it just yet. You have had the power this whole entire time. 63 00:05:14.680 --> 00:05:19.879 You have had the power this whole entire time. You might be thinking, 64 00:05:19.959 --> 00:05:24.639 CC that doesn't make any sense I feel like they might leave me. I 65 00:05:24.680 --> 00:05:26.920 feel like they're gonna break up with me. I feel like I have to 66 00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:30.160 be perfect for them to be in a relationship with me. I'm constantly thinking 67 00:05:30.199 --> 00:05:34.839 about them. Okay, but who placed them on your pedestal? The only 68 00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:42.040 person who can place someone on your pedestal is you. They can't run into 69 00:05:42.079 --> 00:05:46.279 your life, push you off the pedestal and decenter you. No, you're 70 00:05:46.439 --> 00:05:51.639 the one who has decentered yourself and allow them to take that place in your 71 00:05:51.879 --> 00:05:58.079 life. Now, this isn't me just blaming you. This is us realizing 72 00:05:58.279 --> 00:06:03.319 not only our power, but our responsibility. You centering yourself, becoming the 73 00:06:03.399 --> 00:06:08.519 main character, putting yourself back on your own pedestal. That is not only 74 00:06:08.639 --> 00:06:13.759 in your power, it's your responsibility. No one can take your power away. 75 00:06:13.920 --> 00:06:15.639 No one can force you to make them the center of your life. 76 00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:20.879 You can only allow that to happen. And if you allow it, that 77 00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:28.839 is you gifting them your power and you taking a step back and letting them 78 00:06:29.879 --> 00:06:34.720 be the center of your life. In the long run, you will not 79 00:06:34.879 --> 00:06:40.000 be happy if you're centering your partners. And again, this isn't a we 80 00:06:40.319 --> 00:06:43.839 hate men podcasts. No, I love men, I love women. That 81 00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:46.560 to me, that narrative doesn't make any sense. What are we doing here? 82 00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:49.920 Let's not lie to ourselves. Ninety nine percent of people want to be 83 00:06:49.959 --> 00:06:54.360 in a relationship. They want to be with another person. I want to 84 00:06:54.399 --> 00:06:57.879 get you what you want, and you're not gonna get what you want by 85 00:06:58.279 --> 00:07:03.120 taking the pain of past relationship or someone from a past relationship, if that 86 00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:06.800 was a guy, You're not gonna get the relationship you want by focusing on 87 00:07:06.879 --> 00:07:11.199 the guy that hurt you and gave you what you didn't want. There are 88 00:07:11.319 --> 00:07:14.639 amazing men out there. There's amazing women out there. There's amazing people out 89 00:07:14.680 --> 00:07:17.560 there. So let's get over that hump and stop lying to ourselves that all 90 00:07:17.639 --> 00:07:21.399 men are trash. They're not, and not all women are trash. They 91 00:07:21.480 --> 00:07:25.319 are not. There's beautiful, amazing people. How do I know that? 92 00:07:25.399 --> 00:07:30.040 Because I exist, because you exist, because I have family and friends who 93 00:07:30.120 --> 00:07:33.560 exists that I see every single day. So how do we master manifestation? 94 00:07:33.759 --> 00:07:39.800 Not manifestation, but manifestation attract not chase? How do we take them off 95 00:07:39.839 --> 00:07:44.240 our pedestal? How do we decenter them? Number one, realizing that you 96 00:07:44.439 --> 00:07:47.680 have had the power all along, you are the one who allowed them to 97 00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:51.279 take center stage. You are the one who stepped off your pedestal and put 98 00:07:51.319 --> 00:07:56.279 them on your pedestal. You are the one who has been more focused on 99 00:07:56.439 --> 00:08:01.279 them than yourself. And it's not to blame. It's to realize, oh 100 00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:05.839 my god, I've had this power all along. I I have had the 101 00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:11.360 power. I recently was talking to a shaman and she said something so beautiful 102 00:08:11.399 --> 00:08:16.040 to me, and that was your feminine energy. Essentially, is your responsibility 103 00:08:16.680 --> 00:08:20.519 regardless of how other people are showing up, regardless of what they're doing. 104 00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:26.079 You can decide to show up in your feminine energy anyway. Yes, there's 105 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:31.079 going to be men who are in their feminine energy, but that doesn't mean 106 00:08:31.120 --> 00:08:33.399 you have to automatically shift into your masculine and show up in another way. 107 00:08:33.759 --> 00:08:35.960 No, you can just decide, oh, that doesn't work for me, 108 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:41.519 and I'm going to continue to be in my feminine energy. How we show 109 00:08:41.639 --> 00:08:45.879 up, what we broadcast, what we do with our focus, our divine 110 00:08:45.919 --> 00:08:50.559 feminine energy, that is all in our power to decide for regardless of how 111 00:08:50.600 --> 00:08:54.399 others are showing up. We don't have to match the vibration of what other 112 00:08:54.440 --> 00:08:58.600 people are giving us no, we can show up how we wish and keep 113 00:08:58.679 --> 00:09:03.440 it moving and grooving, and people treat them accordingly, understand who they are 114 00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:09.080 and place them accordingly, and continue to show up in our authentic energy the 115 00:09:09.279 --> 00:09:15.240 model I want you to have moving forward. And I heard this from some 116 00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:20.240 show I was watching on television, but they said the line, I don't 117 00:09:20.519 --> 00:09:26.600 have room to be disturbed right now. I don't have time to be disturbed 118 00:09:26.840 --> 00:09:31.159 right now. So if you're gonna come into my life, you better be 119 00:09:31.279 --> 00:09:35.879 stepping up with the best foot forward. Otherwise I'm really just gonna understand who 120 00:09:35.960 --> 00:09:39.840 you are. I accept who you are, but I will place you accordingly, 121 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:43.440 and that will be just outside of my life. And I was thinking 122 00:09:43.519 --> 00:09:48.320 about this sentence, and I really resonated with yes, I don't have time 123 00:09:48.399 --> 00:09:50.600 to be disturbed right now. But then I thought about it, and I 124 00:09:50.679 --> 00:09:54.759 thought about past versions of me, and I thought about the version of me 125 00:09:54.919 --> 00:09:58.840 that was very codependent, had a ton of time to be disturbed, and 126 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:05.159 and when she was disturbed, fed into the disturbing energy even more. And 127 00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:07.480 I said, what's the difference between the version of me right now and the 128 00:10:07.600 --> 00:10:11.039 version of me that allowed herself to be disturbed? And you know what it 129 00:10:11.159 --> 00:10:18.519 is. I didn't have something I felt worth protecting when I was allowing myself 130 00:10:18.600 --> 00:10:22.840 to be disturbed by people I was dating my relationship. I didn't feel that 131 00:10:24.039 --> 00:10:26.360 I was good enough, or my life was good enough, or I had 132 00:10:26.600 --> 00:10:31.480 anything worthy of protecting. So I let people. Yes, let I let 133 00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:35.879 people come into my life. I let them disturb me. I let them 134 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:39.600 get into my brain and make me feel anxious and confused. I let it 135 00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:45.960 happen. And I thought about this some more. Think about a mama bear. 136 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:52.080 What is a mama bear known for. She is protective of her cubs. 137 00:10:52.399 --> 00:10:54.519 You better not f with a mama bear, because she will she will 138 00:10:54.559 --> 00:11:00.759 come after you. She is protective of her cubs. Her cubs are valuable 139 00:11:00.840 --> 00:11:05.360 to her. Her cubs are worthy to her. Her cubs are something worth 140 00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:13.639 protecting. My mom used to volunteer at this woman's shelter and a lot of 141 00:11:13.720 --> 00:11:18.639 women who would come through were women who didn't have the money or the means, 142 00:11:18.679 --> 00:11:22.960 but they had a child and they needed help. And what my mom 143 00:11:22.080 --> 00:11:26.879 always told me, she started to notice a pattern. These women would come 144 00:11:26.919 --> 00:11:33.360 in before they were pregnant. They would be with abusive partners, and my 145 00:11:33.480 --> 00:11:37.360 mom would try to counsel them to get them away from the abusive partners, 146 00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:43.559 and they wouldn't leave. And over time, my mom started to notice that 147 00:11:43.840 --> 00:11:48.879 once these women actually had their baby, there was a prominent pattern that they 148 00:11:50.039 --> 00:11:56.559 then were somehow granted this internal strength that they would then leave the abusive partner. 149 00:11:58.559 --> 00:12:03.080 She noticed that when these women had their child for the first time ever, 150 00:12:03.360 --> 00:12:09.440 they saw their child as something worth protecting, something that was valuable, 151 00:12:09.840 --> 00:12:15.879 That something internally went off that gave them the strength of I gotta get away 152 00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:24.399 from this abusive person. These women didn't see themselves as valuable enough or as 153 00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:28.279 confident enough to walk away from these abusive situations, but once they had this 154 00:12:28.559 --> 00:12:37.000 child, they had something to protect. This is something we need to look 155 00:12:37.039 --> 00:12:41.000 at because there were times in my life and I was not having abuse or 156 00:12:41.039 --> 00:12:45.879 anything like that, but there was times in my life where I didn't feel 157 00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:48.879 worthy enough. I didn't feel like I had anything going on in my life. 158 00:12:50.159 --> 00:12:54.000 I didn't feel valuable enough to protect something. I didn't have anything to 159 00:12:54.039 --> 00:13:00.559 protect. So I let people disturb me. I let them will it's chaos 160 00:13:00.639 --> 00:13:03.960 in my life. I let them take my peace because I didn't feel I 161 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:09.679 was worthy enough or had anything worth protecting. But over time, as I 162 00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:13.440 found myself, as I built myself up, as I built my business, 163 00:13:13.559 --> 00:13:18.159 I built my self worth. I built my confidence, I found my calling. 164 00:13:20.200 --> 00:13:24.559 I have a following now that's worth protecting. I have a mission now 165 00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:31.240 that's worth protecting. I built up a version of CC that is worth protecting 166 00:13:31.639 --> 00:13:35.320 that. Yet, you know what, I can't be disturbed by any bs 167 00:13:35.440 --> 00:13:41.399 you want to bring into my life because I have something worth protecting right now. 168 00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:46.759 And it breaks my heart that I didn't feel that way about the past 169 00:13:46.879 --> 00:13:52.360 versions of myself. But I want you to understand. If you don't feel 170 00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:56.279 like you're worth protecting right now, if you don't feel like you're good enough 171 00:13:56.360 --> 00:14:00.200 to have something good in your life, you don't feel good enough to have 172 00:14:00.320 --> 00:14:03.200 the relationship or the love that you want, or the career that you want, 173 00:14:03.879 --> 00:14:07.120 It's okay because I've been there too. We gotta build you up, 174 00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:11.039 we gotta build your life up, we gotta build something that you believe is 175 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:16.159 worth protecting. Because when you have something worth protecting, Guess who's a mama 176 00:14:16.240 --> 00:14:20.879 bear now for her own self? Guess who's a mama bear around her and 177 00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:26.200 her child, her life, her career. It's me and it will be 178 00:14:26.440 --> 00:14:33.399 you too. When we are not able to derive purpose, validation, self 179 00:14:33.519 --> 00:14:37.159 love, self acceptance from ourself, we starve for it in other people, 180 00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:43.519 especially our intimate relationships. When I couldn't validate myself, when I had no 181 00:14:43.639 --> 00:14:46.600 purpose in myself, I would starve for it in my partner. I knew 182 00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:52.360 it was easier for me to ignore all of these feelings bubbling up and just 183 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:56.639 hang out with my partner instead of really facing the issues that I was having. 184 00:14:56.919 --> 00:15:00.919 I didn't feel good enough, I didn't feel worthy loss, I didn't 185 00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:03.879 know what I wanted to do. It was easier for me to ignore my 186 00:15:03.039 --> 00:15:07.200 intuition, ignore all those feelings, and just watch a movie with my partner. 187 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:11.120 Yeah it was easier in the moment, but what ended up happening It 188 00:15:11.279 --> 00:15:16.639 was harder in the long run. Being in denial doesn't mean that those feelings 189 00:15:16.679 --> 00:15:22.159 are going to just vanish, No, they build up. There is something 190 00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:28.399 about human beings we need to acknowledge. When are human beings happy happiest? 191 00:15:28.480 --> 00:15:33.639 I should say it's when they're building something, building a family, building a 192 00:15:33.799 --> 00:15:39.559 home, building a career. How many times do we have to see in 193 00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:41.720 our own life. I really really wanted this. I finally got it. 194 00:15:41.799 --> 00:15:46.080 Okay, now I'm onto the next thing. Once we get what it is 195 00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:50.679 we want, we start focusing on, Okay, what's the next thing that 196 00:15:50.759 --> 00:15:54.360 I can build, What's the next thing I can do? Progress makes human 197 00:15:54.679 --> 00:16:00.360 beings happy. We like to water things and see them grow. I really 198 00:16:00.440 --> 00:16:03.639 think this comes down to the fact that we're spiritual beings and we came here 199 00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:07.279 to learn how to manipulate energy, how to manifest, how to use our 200 00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:11.720 own focus and feelings to manifest the life that we want. We came here 201 00:16:11.799 --> 00:16:15.440 to learn, develop and grow. So of course that's going to be something 202 00:16:15.480 --> 00:16:18.559 that fills us up, is growing things that we want to see in our 203 00:16:18.919 --> 00:16:23.879 life. So if you're able to have somewhat of a focus on yourself when 204 00:16:23.919 --> 00:16:27.840 you're alone, but as soon as someone else comes into the picture, your 205 00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:33.159 focus is all disregulated. We need to bring that focus back home. We 206 00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:40.960 need to bring ourselves back to the center of our own reality. This brings 207 00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:44.480 us to step number two to taking them off your pedestal. Number one is 208 00:16:44.559 --> 00:16:47.879 to realize you have the power to do so. Number two is to realize 209 00:16:47.919 --> 00:16:51.600 that we have a natural affinity to build things. But here's the caveat. 210 00:16:52.200 --> 00:16:56.480 The one thing that you should not be solely focused on building is another person. 211 00:16:57.240 --> 00:17:02.159 You did not come here to be Bob the builder. You are not 212 00:17:02.279 --> 00:17:07.240 your partner's rehabilitation center. You are not here to focus only on another human 213 00:17:07.319 --> 00:17:11.079 being. When you're ready with your partner to create a family, you two 214 00:17:11.160 --> 00:17:15.160 will come together and that will be a co creation. But if you're not 215 00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:21.599 popping out babies right now, you need to be focusing on you. Another 216 00:17:21.720 --> 00:17:26.599 thing me and the shaman delved into is that self focus is of the divine 217 00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:33.160 feminine energy. Focusing on the other is the divine masculine energy. To be 218 00:17:33.319 --> 00:17:37.720 in your divine feminine energy, you have to be focused here. Trust me, 219 00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:41.680 I get it. I also was conditioned to walk into a room and 220 00:17:41.799 --> 00:17:47.680 check the energetic temperature of everyone in it. I also was conditioned to be 221 00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:51.920 more perceptive of how other people are perceiving me than to be in touch with 222 00:17:52.039 --> 00:17:56.119 my own feelings. I also grew up in my masculine energy, so I 223 00:17:56.319 --> 00:18:00.000 understand it might not always be the easiest thing to do, but it's actually 224 00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:06.240 much simpler than we're making it out to be. To decenter someone else we 225 00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:11.039 actually have to just recenter ourselves. It's not this fight uphill to get this 226 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:17.799 person out of my center. If you just refocus onto yourself, they will 227 00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:22.799 automatically fall out of your center. And this is us stepping into our divine 228 00:18:22.839 --> 00:18:26.880 feminine energy. How do you know if they are your center? Anytime you're 229 00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:32.839 acting in accordance with anything else besides your own values or your own authenticity, 230 00:18:33.599 --> 00:18:38.160 you are not in your center period. So if you are manipulating yourself for 231 00:18:38.279 --> 00:18:42.200 them, changing what you value for them, changing who you are for them, 232 00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:45.880 dulling your shine for them, more focused on what are you doing with 233 00:18:45.960 --> 00:18:48.319 your career? Are you being the person I need you to be? As 234 00:18:48.359 --> 00:18:51.720 soon as you start doing that, you're in your masculine energy. It's over. 235 00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:56.359 You're not in your center. I want you to get really clear on 236 00:18:56.599 --> 00:19:00.240 what you want in your own life. What do you want in your career, 237 00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:04.079 What do you want in your friendships? What do you want in your 238 00:19:06.440 --> 00:19:10.160 free time, in your hobbies, in your activities. Do you have a 239 00:19:10.200 --> 00:19:15.319 creative outlet? What do you want and what do you value? And from 240 00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:22.000 your values, from your desires. You have to build yourself up. Now. 241 00:19:22.240 --> 00:19:26.240 Coming from someone who is very codependent. If I didn't have something to 242 00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:30.920 literally do with my time, I would just start obsessing over that other person 243 00:19:30.039 --> 00:19:34.599 and they would immediately become my center. So I had to create for myself 244 00:19:34.920 --> 00:19:42.000 non negotiables. Non negotiables. What are they for? They are literally boundaries, 245 00:19:42.079 --> 00:19:45.279 not even for other people. They're for myself because if I didn't have 246 00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:48.039 these boundaries for myself, I would just be like, what are you doing? 247 00:19:48.440 --> 00:19:51.880 How are you? How can I help you? So I had to 248 00:19:51.920 --> 00:19:56.279 have these boundaries, not for other people before myself. Non negotiables are activities 249 00:19:56.440 --> 00:20:00.279 or things that you do on a daily or weekly basis that make you you. 250 00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:03.599 They are fulfilling. You enjoy doing them, whether that's creating content or 251 00:20:03.640 --> 00:20:07.680 going to pilates or going to yoga, or painting or coloring, or singing 252 00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:11.920 or going to dance, whatever it may be, working out, taking a 253 00:20:11.000 --> 00:20:15.440 walk. No matter if I'm with my partner, if I'm not with my 254 00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:18.160 partner, if I'm single, if I'm in a relationship, it does not 255 00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:22.720 matter. I will always do these non negotiables. Why Because they help me 256 00:20:22.920 --> 00:20:30.200 keep myself on my own center, on my own pedestal. And it's not 257 00:20:30.519 --> 00:20:36.240 about other people. This whole entire concept is really about, Oh, I've 258 00:20:36.359 --> 00:20:41.279 learned to always people please, and now I have to release this faulty programming 259 00:20:41.559 --> 00:20:45.960 and like an onion, peel back all these layers to find myself again. 260 00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:55.279 Principle or step number three is understanding the pedestal principle. How you treat yourself 261 00:20:55.559 --> 00:21:00.319 will be reflected back to you in your external reality. So if you place 262 00:21:00.359 --> 00:21:03.119 yourself on your pedestal, other people will place you on the pedestal too. 263 00:21:03.519 --> 00:21:07.279 If you place them on a pedestal, they'll treat you like a fan. 264 00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:12.400 It's a mirror effect. How you treat yourself will be mirrored back to you. 265 00:21:12.839 --> 00:21:18.759 This also means when we ghost ourself, they're more likely to ghost us 266 00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:25.039 too. I want you to start thinking of yourself as your most prized possession, 267 00:21:25.119 --> 00:21:27.599 because you are. By the way, you were literally gifted this vessel. 268 00:21:27.680 --> 00:21:33.400 You were gifted this body by God to come here and experience what it's 269 00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:37.599 like to be a human. Dolorus Cannon, who is God rest her soul, 270 00:21:37.960 --> 00:21:42.359 who is a very very known hypnotherapist, very famous for this. She 271 00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:47.640 said, there was lines and lines and lines of souls that wanted to be 272 00:21:48.039 --> 00:21:52.279 on planet Earth during this time that it was a very popular time for souls 273 00:21:52.519 --> 00:21:56.160 to come to planet Earth and be a human. Everyone wanted to do it. 274 00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:59.839 There's gonna be a huge shift in this great awakening. Guess what, 275 00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:03.200 bitch, you got to come to planet Earth. You got here. Your 276 00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:07.440 soul thought to be here, It wanted to be here, decided to be 277 00:22:07.559 --> 00:22:11.680 here. Do not waste this incarnation? Okay, because there was a line. 278 00:22:11.759 --> 00:22:17.079 According to Dolores Kennon, I believe her, when we are mistreating ourselves, 279 00:22:17.240 --> 00:22:21.480 we're gonna see that in our relationships with other people. You are your 280 00:22:21.559 --> 00:22:25.839 most prized possession. If your parents gave you a really nice bracelet or a 281 00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:29.559 really nice piece of jewelry, or they bought you your first car, or 282 00:22:29.880 --> 00:22:33.279 they I don't even know they bought you a TAMAGATCHI, I don't know, 283 00:22:33.359 --> 00:22:36.680 whatever it is that you would really appreciate. If they bought you something you've 284 00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:38.920 been wanting, wanting, wanting, and you finally got this thing, wouldn't 285 00:22:38.920 --> 00:22:44.559 you treat it with the utmost respect. Wouldn't you see this thing as valuable? 286 00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:48.279 Wouldn't you see this thing as well, this is beautiful. I'm gonna 287 00:22:48.279 --> 00:22:52.799 protect this, wouldn't you? So? Why are you not protecting yourself? 288 00:22:53.559 --> 00:22:57.920 Why are you not respecting yourself? Trust me? I had to have this 289 00:22:59.039 --> 00:23:03.480 come to Jesus moment to it was a little whoop jump scare, But it's 290 00:23:03.480 --> 00:23:07.519 okay, We're getting through it. I had to realize I was gifted this 291 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:11.359 body by God. I was in a line of souls to get to planet 292 00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:15.200 Earth, and I got here. Go me. I gotta treat myself with 293 00:23:15.359 --> 00:23:19.680 some respect. Now. I gotta respect my own time, respect my own 294 00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:25.319 boundaries, respect my incarnation. Because if I don't, who will. If 295 00:23:25.400 --> 00:23:30.319 I don't go after the things I want, who will. I want you 296 00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:34.960 to see yourself as this gift. If you wouldn't give your apartment keys to 297 00:23:36.119 --> 00:23:38.000 just anyone, don't give away your time, your attention, your body, 298 00:23:38.119 --> 00:23:45.799 your affection to just anyone. You are sacred. Your energy is sacred. 299 00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:48.920 Your body is sacred. But if you don't treat it as such, other 300 00:23:49.079 --> 00:23:55.200 people aren't going to treat it as sacred either. You have to hold yourself 301 00:23:55.319 --> 00:24:00.880 up on that pedestal. Remember step number one to decentering them is understanding you 302 00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:03.960 have the power to do so. So if you have the power to take 303 00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:07.599 them off your pedestal and decenter them. You also have the power to put 304 00:24:07.640 --> 00:24:11.599 yourself on the pedestal. And how do we mainly do this? Through self 305 00:24:11.640 --> 00:24:15.200 focus, by having our own non negotiables, by building our self up so 306 00:24:15.319 --> 00:24:22.759 we can finally see ourselves as being worthy to realizing that we were granted permission, 307 00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:26.720 we chose to be here, and we were able to come to planet 308 00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:30.319 during this time in this body. Oh my goodness, I have to protect 309 00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:38.119 this incarnation. Another way of seeing that you are something valuable to protect is 310 00:24:38.759 --> 00:24:45.039 envision your inner child. Envision your younger self. Would you let someone treat 311 00:24:45.119 --> 00:24:49.079 your younger self like this, you would step up for her. Sometimes it's 312 00:24:49.119 --> 00:24:53.000 really hard to stand up for ourselves, and for whatever silly reason, it's 313 00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:56.920 easier to stand up for other people. If you find it hard to center 314 00:24:57.000 --> 00:25:02.640 yourself, center your inner child. Center her, be the savior that she's 315 00:25:02.680 --> 00:25:06.680 always dreamt about, that she's always needed, that she's been crying for since 316 00:25:06.720 --> 00:25:10.400 she's been five years old, Because that will snap you out of centering other 317 00:25:10.480 --> 00:25:17.119 people, real quick, real quick. Now Step number four. There is 318 00:25:17.200 --> 00:25:21.720 this funny joke that I heard one time, and essentially this man was saying, 319 00:25:22.039 --> 00:25:26.759 men are a lot like parking lots. They will allow in many many 320 00:25:26.839 --> 00:25:30.720 different cars, many many different people, and they'll just say, yeah, 321 00:25:30.119 --> 00:25:34.559 that's cool, that's fine, that's whatever. However, women are much more 322 00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:38.720 like driveways. We allow in just one car, just the car we know, 323 00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:45.160 and that's that's all. There's a biological reason for this. We in 324 00:25:45.279 --> 00:25:48.880 tribal times had to be more selective with who we chose as a partner. 325 00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:53.640 We needed someone to protect us literally from bears and other tribes and people. 326 00:25:55.279 --> 00:25:57.559 Also, nine months out of the year, if we were to get pregnant, 327 00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:02.440 we had to be now with that man because that was the person who 328 00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:07.640 was going to help us with this child. So we have biologically been wired 329 00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:14.720 to be more selective or more tapped into our intuition as well. Let's use 330 00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:21.960 this to our advantage. We literally have a biological sway towards being more selective. 331 00:26:22.319 --> 00:26:26.960 Let's use this to our advantage. When you're more selective of what you 332 00:26:26.039 --> 00:26:30.720 allow into your life, you get selected more by the things that you want. 333 00:26:30.119 --> 00:26:36.759 That's a good thing. That's a good thing. If there is someone 334 00:26:37.240 --> 00:26:41.319 who you've been trying to take off your pedestal or decenter and you're like ccum, 335 00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:44.039 out of my mind, I can't do this take out a pen and 336 00:26:44.079 --> 00:26:47.000 piece of paper. You can even do this on your phone. I'd rather 337 00:26:47.079 --> 00:26:48.839 you do it with a pen and piece of paper, though. I want 338 00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:53.279 you to write out a list of everything you dislike about this person, because 339 00:26:53.319 --> 00:26:57.720 you need to remind yourself that right now your emotions are screaming and we need 340 00:26:57.839 --> 00:27:03.559 to introduce our brain to the equation this person might have a hold on you 341 00:27:03.680 --> 00:27:07.640 because you're emotionally attached to them. Okay, fine, We've all been emotionally 342 00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:11.279 attached to someone who we had to remove ourselves from. Okay, it's possible. 343 00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:15.160 Join the twenty one day Breakup Gloat challenge if you really want to kick 344 00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:19.759 it up into gear, I want you to write down a list of everything 345 00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:23.880 you dislike about them. They're inconsistent. They really don't treat me well. 346 00:27:25.119 --> 00:27:26.759 They're here one day, gone the next. I have no idea where we 347 00:27:26.839 --> 00:27:30.119 stand. This is a situationship. I really don't feel valued by them. 348 00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:33.519 They never open the car door for me, They want to go fifty to 349 00:27:33.559 --> 00:27:37.559 fifty on dates. Write down everything you dislike about them, and every single 350 00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:40.960 time you start to spiral about them, you start to want to text them, 351 00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:42.880 You want to reach out to them, take out the list and read 352 00:27:44.079 --> 00:27:47.119 the list. This is a brain game. You need to get your brain 353 00:27:47.240 --> 00:27:51.240 on board with your reality because right now your reality is showing you something, 354 00:27:51.279 --> 00:27:53.319 but your brain is still stuck in the past. It still is looking for 355 00:27:53.480 --> 00:27:56.640 that dopamine hit up. Where's my tex where's my hug, where's my kiss? 356 00:27:57.039 --> 00:28:00.920 So we need to show out a brain that there's more to life than 357 00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:04.519 this icky, sticky person. Okay, so we're gonna write down the list. 358 00:28:04.519 --> 00:28:07.920 We're gonna read this list every single time you want to reach out to 359 00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:10.279 them, every single time you want to talk to them, every single time 360 00:28:10.279 --> 00:28:12.559 you miss them. Remind yourself of what it is you don't want, so 361 00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:18.920 you can make a room for what it is you do want. Another way 362 00:28:18.359 --> 00:28:23.720 to decenter them if you're going through a breakup is to simply pretend that they're 363 00:28:23.799 --> 00:28:29.119 unlive. Yeah, now, why would we do this. Technically, they 364 00:28:29.160 --> 00:28:33.240 are un alive because they're out of the picture. They also really don't exist 365 00:28:33.319 --> 00:28:40.480 in your reality anymore if they're not directly in front of you. Hashtag the 366 00:28:40.599 --> 00:28:42.440 observer of fact. We don't need to get into it, but it basically 367 00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:48.160 states that when you look at something, it's form changes. So if we're 368 00:28:48.200 --> 00:28:52.839 not looking at something, technically they just poof into an energetic wavelength and no 369 00:28:52.960 --> 00:28:59.079 longer exists in our reality. So technically they don't exist anymore, at least 370 00:28:59.119 --> 00:29:03.559 according to your reality. Why would we pretend they're un alive because we're gonna 371 00:29:03.640 --> 00:29:08.920 use this as a brain tool to stop spiraling about them. Remember what is 372 00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:12.599 the divine feminine energy? It's self focus. If we keep focusing on them, 373 00:29:12.599 --> 00:29:15.480 we're going into our mask and energy. We're starting to energetically chase them, 374 00:29:15.519 --> 00:29:18.279 and that just repels them anyway. But let's say you need to get 375 00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:22.119 them off your brain because you're being obsessed, you're going through a breakup, 376 00:29:22.279 --> 00:29:26.000 it's a situationship you want to remove, or you just want to take them 377 00:29:26.039 --> 00:29:30.400 off your pedestal. Pretend they're on a live every time, you want to 378 00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:33.480 obsess over their Instagram? Who are they following? What are they doing? 379 00:29:33.680 --> 00:29:34.680 I want to reach out to them, Why aren't they texting me? Wait 380 00:29:34.720 --> 00:29:37.799 a second, they're on the live, so they can't be dating someone new. 381 00:29:38.079 --> 00:29:41.279 They can't be getting married, they can't be getting engaged, they can't 382 00:29:41.319 --> 00:29:44.920 be doing anything. They can't be posting on Instagram because they're on a live 383 00:29:44.960 --> 00:29:48.759 They don't exist in my reality, so I literally can't spiral about them anyway. 384 00:29:48.039 --> 00:29:51.480 And then what you're gonna do? So Step one, pretend they're on 385 00:29:51.559 --> 00:29:55.519 alive. Step two, do something else for fifteen minutes. Read a book, 386 00:29:55.839 --> 00:29:59.000 learn something new, watch a ted talk, learn a new language, 387 00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:02.400 paint your toes. I don't really care. It's best if you learn something 388 00:30:02.480 --> 00:30:06.240 new. So you're replacing one habit that used to give you dopamine with another 389 00:30:06.279 --> 00:30:10.119 habit that will give you dopamine and be interesting to you and will really ground 390 00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:14.319 you in the present moment. But we need to do something. So, 391 00:30:14.680 --> 00:30:18.759 whether it's taking out that list and reminding yourself of why they are not it 392 00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:23.279 or telling yourself that they're all alive, which technically they are according to your 393 00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:30.599 energetic reality, either one will work. If you're still dating them, I 394 00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:34.319 would recommend the list so you can ground yourself in what's actually happening. And 395 00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:38.279 what I mean by this is if you're just dating them and you're already obsessed 396 00:30:38.319 --> 00:30:42.119 with them, you have to stop feeling in their silences with your own desires 397 00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:45.599 because that's going to trip you up, and you're romanticizing them and you're falling 398 00:30:45.640 --> 00:30:49.000 in love with a version of them that doesn't even exist, and if you 399 00:30:49.079 --> 00:30:52.640 do end up going your separate ways, it's just going to hurt a lot 400 00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:56.519 more So, have a list of what they're actually doing. Are there words 401 00:30:56.680 --> 00:31:00.799 matching their actions? Are they being consistent with you? Is this someone you 402 00:31:00.839 --> 00:31:03.319 would want to have a family with. Do you actually see a future with 403 00:31:03.400 --> 00:31:07.759 them? Write down what's actually happening, so every time you start to romanticize 404 00:31:07.799 --> 00:31:12.240 them, you can reel yourself back in and snap back to reality. Next 405 00:31:12.279 --> 00:31:17.319 step to taking them off your pedestal. You might not like what I'm about 406 00:31:17.359 --> 00:31:19.200 to say, but I'm not on these platforms so I can just build a 407 00:31:19.240 --> 00:31:23.920 following. I'm not gonna lie to you. These terwer card videos you gotta 408 00:31:23.960 --> 00:31:29.640 stop. You have to stop listening to them. I'm not saying that there 409 00:31:29.720 --> 00:31:33.839 are not very talented people. I'm not saying that these things cannot be true. 410 00:31:33.119 --> 00:31:37.960 I'm saying they're messing with your mind and you have to stop. You 411 00:31:38.079 --> 00:31:41.759 want to know what your future is. Guess who's the best psychic for you? 412 00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:45.119 You Based on your thoughts, intentions, and actions, that is what's 413 00:31:45.160 --> 00:31:48.160 going to manifest your future. You need a psychic check in with what you're 414 00:31:48.160 --> 00:31:53.519 doing on a daily basis. What's more important is what's more likely? I 415 00:31:53.680 --> 00:31:56.880 just need us to snap back to reality for a second. What's more likely 416 00:31:57.440 --> 00:32:00.880 that these terror videos that are telling you, and again no disrespect to these 417 00:32:00.920 --> 00:32:04.400 people. They're very talented, a lot of them, and I really do 418 00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:07.480 enjoy that there art and everything. It's no hate to them, but for 419 00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:13.720 your own sake. What's more likely this person is secretly obsessed with you. 420 00:32:13.799 --> 00:32:15.799 They're journaling about you every single night, thinking about you, but have this 421 00:32:15.920 --> 00:32:20.519 mother wound and can't come forward to tell you the truth, or they're just 422 00:32:20.599 --> 00:32:27.680 not into it. What's more likely they are so enthralled with you, so 423 00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:30.039 in love with you, You're on their mind every single second. They just 424 00:32:30.119 --> 00:32:34.680 can't reach out because there's something from their past creeping up on them, or 425 00:32:35.359 --> 00:32:43.759 they're just not that into it. Usually the simplest answer is the answer. 426 00:32:43.920 --> 00:32:46.240 But I'm gonna take it up one more step. Let's say all these hower 427 00:32:46.359 --> 00:32:50.680 videos are true and they are enthralled with you, but they just can't make 428 00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:52.440 the first move. Why do we even want that person? They sound like 429 00:32:52.519 --> 00:32:58.960 a headache. That's not them being steeped in their masculine energy. That's not 430 00:32:59.119 --> 00:33:02.640 what it is you want. Action is thought reinforced. If they don't have 431 00:33:02.799 --> 00:33:07.400 the capacity and capability to step forward, plan a date, ask you out, 432 00:33:07.480 --> 00:33:12.000 be consistent. Who cares what's going on in their brain? Who cares 433 00:33:12.039 --> 00:33:15.759 what they're going through? You don't have time to be disturbed. This is 434 00:33:15.799 --> 00:33:19.839 a magnetic mindset shift. I have built myself up and my life up. 435 00:33:20.039 --> 00:33:23.279 I don't have time to be guessing what is Harry thinking. I have a 436 00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:28.440 business to attend to, I have friends to see, things to do. 437 00:33:28.839 --> 00:33:32.160 I can't be trying to piece together your mental puzzle. You can only meet 438 00:33:32.200 --> 00:33:36.160 someone as deep as they have met themselves. It doesn't even matter if all 439 00:33:36.200 --> 00:33:39.160 these videos are true, because who has time to be disturbed like that? 440 00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:44.680 That is how we start to center them and decenter ourselves, and it leads 441 00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:47.000 to us draining ourselves. It leads to us being confused, It leads to 442 00:33:47.200 --> 00:33:52.880 chaos, It leads to us being so upset of what's going on. You 443 00:33:52.119 --> 00:33:57.000 have to stop being the puppet and letting other people and even this person, 444 00:33:57.400 --> 00:34:01.319 write your story for you, and you gotta relate back in remember being focused 445 00:34:01.319 --> 00:34:04.880 on them and what they're thinking and what they're doing. That's your masculine energy 446 00:34:05.119 --> 00:34:07.760 being focused here, that's our feminine energy. If you want to get into 447 00:34:07.800 --> 00:34:13.199 your feminine energy, refocus on you and I know, trust me, I'm 448 00:34:13.280 --> 00:34:15.239 there with you. I understand sometimes it can be difficult, and I too 449 00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:20.199 feel those pains. It's a practice. It's a practice. We're not looking 450 00:34:20.239 --> 00:34:24.400 for perfection. We're just looking for progress and everything. I'm saying, if 451 00:34:24.440 --> 00:34:28.320 you can just strive to do it, eighty ninety percent of the time, 452 00:34:28.360 --> 00:34:30.880 you're gonna feel better. You don't have to be perfect all the time, 453 00:34:30.360 --> 00:34:36.159 but let's just strive. Let's just strive for it. I'm telling you, 454 00:34:36.920 --> 00:34:39.840 take a break from social media. Stop watching the terwer car videos. Shut 455 00:34:39.920 --> 00:34:45.159 your phone, turn it off. These videos. They're going to be convincing 456 00:34:45.239 --> 00:34:47.559 you of too much. It's too much for someone to bear, and all 457 00:34:47.599 --> 00:34:50.920 it does is cause you to have so much anxiety. I have so many 458 00:34:51.000 --> 00:34:53.639 clients who have fallen prey to these videos, and they're in their own head 459 00:34:53.880 --> 00:34:58.880 and they get so worked up and so nervous. Let them go. I 460 00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:01.159 don't care what's going on going on with that other person. We have to 461 00:35:01.280 --> 00:35:06.079 care more about what's going on with ourself. And if they can't show up 462 00:35:06.119 --> 00:35:07.920 for us, baby girl, you have to show up for yourself. I 463 00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:10.400 know this is a tough pill to swallow, but I rather you do that 464 00:35:10.480 --> 00:35:15.920 now than choke later. If they're being inconsistent, they're not showing up for 465 00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.159 you, you're having to text them what are you doing? Can we hang 466 00:35:19.199 --> 00:35:22.320 out? It's not because of what these tower videos are saying. I'm just 467 00:35:22.360 --> 00:35:25.519 saying it's not. It's not because they have this mother wound and can't do 468 00:35:25.639 --> 00:35:30.239 that a minute and they're like in a street jacket energetically. No, they're 469 00:35:30.280 --> 00:35:35.480 either not that into it or they're nothing player. They're just a player, 470 00:35:36.280 --> 00:35:38.880 So go let them play on the playground. You're not a child. It's 471 00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:43.840 giving immaturity. Good freaking buye. Who needs that. You don't have time 472 00:35:43.880 --> 00:35:47.760 to be disturbed. I'm not going to lie to you. So if they're 473 00:35:47.880 --> 00:35:53.000 not giving you courtship, you will feel confused. If you're confused, they're 474 00:35:53.079 --> 00:35:59.840 either not that into it or a player. Done done? Why watch thirty 475 00:36:00.039 --> 00:36:02.480 hours of terror videos. I just solved your problem. Move on, move 476 00:36:02.519 --> 00:36:06.719 on. I know, come here, come Brandon, cry cry, cry, 477 00:36:06.840 --> 00:36:08.239 let it out, you know, let it out. Whatever, But 478 00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:14.920 no, I do. We're gonna fall into psychosis if we keep listening to 479 00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.440 these videos. We need to snap back to reality. And why am I 480 00:36:19.480 --> 00:36:22.559 saying this, It's because I've been there. I've listened to the videos. 481 00:36:22.800 --> 00:36:29.800 I've chased him before. I m I cleaned a man's apartment once. Oh 482 00:36:30.960 --> 00:36:35.800 what, didn't even know him? Ugh woo, didn't know him, took 483 00:36:35.840 --> 00:36:39.559 out his trash what? Yeah, yeah, I did do that. I 484 00:36:39.639 --> 00:36:43.079 did do that. And the terror videos were like, he's secretly in love 485 00:36:43.119 --> 00:36:46.440 with you. Keep doing what you're doing, You're amazing. In reality, 486 00:36:46.559 --> 00:36:54.199 he just wasn't into it. You know, where was the terror video about 487 00:36:54.239 --> 00:37:00.800 that? Because I wish, wish I would have known. Let's stop assuming. 488 00:37:00.880 --> 00:37:04.719 Let's just let's stop assuming. You know, like, if you want 489 00:37:04.760 --> 00:37:07.119 to use law of assumption to man this piece of hair is driving me crazy. 490 00:37:07.480 --> 00:37:10.519 If you want to use law of assumption to manifest your reality, go 491 00:37:10.719 --> 00:37:15.079 off, assume the best. Whatever. But if someone is being inconsistent and 492 00:37:15.199 --> 00:37:20.760 it's not progressing, and it's not getting better and it's not changing, just 493 00:37:20.840 --> 00:37:24.840 look at the reality. Why do we need to see fifty tower videos. 494 00:37:28.239 --> 00:37:32.039 No, they're either not that into it or they're a player, and both 495 00:37:32.199 --> 00:37:38.320 of those options, total thumbs down. IW not into it. Been there, 496 00:37:38.400 --> 00:37:43.400 done that, it sucked. Never recommend it. Oh god no, 497 00:37:43.920 --> 00:37:46.840 don't do it. Save yourself. Don't waste your time. Why because you 498 00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:50.719 don't have time to be disturbed. Why because you're building up your life. 499 00:37:50.880 --> 00:37:54.679 You are centering yourself again, you don't have time to be disturbed. You 500 00:37:54.920 --> 00:38:00.679 are building up something that you can feel that is worthy of being protect it. 501 00:38:02.800 --> 00:38:07.440 Once again, I just want to say, this is no hate on 502 00:38:07.519 --> 00:38:12.920 anyone who creates those videos, but we gotta stop, maybe, girl, 503 00:38:13.719 --> 00:38:21.599 we gotta stop. A mixed signal is a signal. No communication is communication. 504 00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:28.440 Silence is actually very loud. If they don't have one minute, because 505 00:38:28.480 --> 00:38:30.079 yes, it does take one minute to say hi, how are you. 506 00:38:30.159 --> 00:38:34.079 Hope you're doing well. If they don't have one minute to check in with 507 00:38:34.159 --> 00:38:37.360 you, you don't have time to think about them. You don't have time 508 00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:42.760 to be disturbed. That's our motto. Remember, you don't have time to 509 00:38:42.840 --> 00:38:44.679 think what are they doing? What are they doing? What are they doing? 510 00:38:45.039 --> 00:38:50.000 Men fall in love with what they invest in, very logical beings. 511 00:38:50.159 --> 00:38:52.679 The more they invest their time, energy, affection, money into, the 512 00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:55.000 more they are like, I need to see where this goes, because I 513 00:38:55.039 --> 00:39:00.840 invested in this and it has to go somewhere now. Allowing someone to treat 514 00:39:00.920 --> 00:39:06.280 you negatively, allowing them to be inconsistent, allowing them to just throw you 515 00:39:06.480 --> 00:39:07.920 around, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. That's 516 00:39:07.960 --> 00:39:14.239 a symptom of you believing that you were not worthy of more. So we 517 00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:16.760 have to go back to the drawing board, and we need to build ourselves 518 00:39:16.840 --> 00:39:22.960 up so we know. Wait a second, not only is silence so loud, 519 00:39:22.440 --> 00:39:25.400 but I'm worthy of more. And if I don't think I'm worthy of 520 00:39:25.480 --> 00:39:30.280 more, I gotta build up myself so I'm proud of something. I gotta 521 00:39:30.440 --> 00:39:36.559 instead of romanticizing them, romanticize myself, romanticize my career, romanticize my present 522 00:39:36.639 --> 00:39:39.800 moment, romanticize my workouts. Maybe I need cuter workout clothes to make myself 523 00:39:39.800 --> 00:39:44.559 feel better. Maybe I just need a freaking spray tand I swear just getting 524 00:39:44.599 --> 00:39:47.639 my hair done a little curly wirl, I feel so magnetic, so amazing. 525 00:39:47.960 --> 00:39:53.679 Sometimes it's little physical things really can make us feel all better. Instead 526 00:39:53.719 --> 00:40:00.079 of romanticizing them, we need to romanticize our daily habits, our self, 527 00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:07.119 our self care, our journaling, going to the nearest harbor, the ocean. 528 00:40:07.480 --> 00:40:14.400 We need to start to romanticize our self self care, baby girl. 529 00:40:14.679 --> 00:40:19.960 That is love in action. Okay, that is you showing up to the 530 00:40:20.039 --> 00:40:25.239 table, You focusing on yourself, You fulfilling your own cup. When we're 531 00:40:25.320 --> 00:40:29.159 so focused on filling up their cup, filling up their cup, filling up 532 00:40:29.159 --> 00:40:30.519 their cup, being perfect, perfect, perfect, We're like, wait a 533 00:40:30.559 --> 00:40:34.039 second, do I even like this person? I don't even freaking know because 534 00:40:34.079 --> 00:40:39.159 my focus has been on them the whole entire time. Romanticize your life and 535 00:40:39.360 --> 00:40:44.880 build it up so you actually feel that this life is worthy of protecting. 536 00:40:45.320 --> 00:40:52.280 I'm worthy of protecting, I'm worthy of more. And there's more. There's 537 00:40:52.400 --> 00:40:57.639 a billion people in this world. There are other people who want to give 538 00:40:57.679 --> 00:41:00.320 you what you want, who are willing to give you what you want and 539 00:41:00.480 --> 00:41:08.840 also can afford your energy. Go towards them by decentering the people who aren't 540 00:41:09.159 --> 00:41:15.920 capable of giving it, of giving you what it is you need. It 541 00:41:15.039 --> 00:41:17.920 doesn't matter if you're playing hard to get, it doesn't matter if you're acting 542 00:41:19.039 --> 00:41:23.360 like the cool girl, because energy doesn't lie. So if you're centering them, 543 00:41:23.639 --> 00:41:28.280 they're going to feel that you will get ghosted repeatedly. They will fall 544 00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:31.800 out of your life. You will feel drained, because what matters is the 545 00:41:32.199 --> 00:41:37.920 energy that's behind the action. If they left your life, you're going to 546 00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:43.280 create beauty in the space they left you with. That's why I got onto 547 00:41:43.320 --> 00:41:45.480 TikTok in the first place. I was going through a breakup or went through 548 00:41:45.480 --> 00:41:49.239 a breakup. I had all this time and space. I started to create, 549 00:41:50.199 --> 00:41:52.000 and look where it got me. Now, look how making that one 550 00:41:52.039 --> 00:41:58.519 little decision of starting a TikTok started my business, my career, my podcast, 551 00:41:58.679 --> 00:42:02.760 a book deal. Oh that's interesting. It's almost like God removes people 552 00:42:02.840 --> 00:42:07.639 from our life so we can refocus on ourselves and our connection with the divine. 553 00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:14.079 Oh that's interesting. Hmmm. Romanticize your brain, learn something new. 554 00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:17.639 I'm telling you. When you build yourself up and your life up to something 555 00:42:17.679 --> 00:42:21.679 you can be proud of, you're going to be that mama bear. You're 556 00:42:21.679 --> 00:42:23.840 gonna want to protect it and you're not gonna let anyone just step all over 557 00:42:24.239 --> 00:42:30.480 you. Now, the last step for taking them off your pedestal is taking 558 00:42:30.559 --> 00:42:35.519 back that energy. So what you're gonna do is close your eyes. Imagine 559 00:42:35.559 --> 00:42:37.119 this person, a couple of feet in front of you in your mind's eye, 560 00:42:37.599 --> 00:42:44.000 and simply say, I lovingly and peacefully call all of my power back 561 00:42:44.039 --> 00:42:50.719 to me now. I lovingly and peacefully call all of my power back to 562 00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:55.000 me now. And envision your white light energy leaving the top of that person's 563 00:42:55.039 --> 00:42:59.239 head, going into the top of your head, down to your sacral chalker 564 00:42:59.400 --> 00:43:02.199 right below your belly button, and filling up this energy center with a bright 565 00:43:02.440 --> 00:43:07.079 orange color. And feel your energy manifesting back into your body. Feel your 566 00:43:07.239 --> 00:43:14.559 energy restoring, rebalancing you, and come back home to you girl, because 567 00:43:14.599 --> 00:43:19.880 you deserve it. If you want more guidance on calling your power back, 568 00:43:20.159 --> 00:43:22.800 you can get the Calling your Power Back Workbook. It's literally only eleven dollars. 569 00:43:23.199 --> 00:43:27.719 You can also get the free meditation on YouTube which will be linked in 570 00:43:27.800 --> 00:43:30.480 the show notes. To call your power back, do it every single day 571 00:43:30.559 --> 00:43:35.639 until you are feeling stable enough. Some of us, before we can center 572 00:43:35.760 --> 00:43:40.760 ourselves, have to stabilize ourselves. So take some time to stabilize your energy 573 00:43:40.840 --> 00:43:45.320 back into your own body by calling your power back, by doing the workbook, 574 00:43:45.599 --> 00:43:49.760 by doing the meditation, and if you're ready, join the Pedestal Path 575 00:43:50.039 --> 00:43:54.239 where you can learn all of this but even more enhanced and advanced, so 576 00:43:54.400 --> 00:43:58.360 you don't have to keep repeating the patterns that you don't want to repeat, 577 00:43:58.639 --> 00:44:02.639 and you can truly take your power back because you deserve it. You deserve 578 00:44:02.719 --> 00:44:07.760 it. We're never gonna be happy if we're centering someone else. It's time 579 00:44:07.960 --> 00:44:12.119 we find and create our own happiness. As always, the sparkle in me 580 00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:15.840 honors the sparkling you. Thank you for spending time with me here. I 581 00:44:15.079 --> 00:44:20.119 love you so much and I will see oh wait before I even go there. 582 00:44:20.920 --> 00:44:23.679 If you can leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, it 583 00:44:23.840 --> 00:44:27.800 helps a podcast grow. It means the world to me. I would really 584 00:44:27.840 --> 00:44:31.280 appreciate it. If not for me, do it for you because karma and 585 00:44:31.480 --> 00:44:36.400 now I will see you in the next one. Don't forget to did I 586 00:44:36.519 --> 00:44:38.199 just say that with an accident? I don't know. Don't forget to follow 587 00:44:38.239 --> 00:44:42.880 me on Instagram at vibe with CC so you can suggest topics as well, 588 00:44:43.320 --> 00:44:45.159 or you can always watch on YouTube and comment below. Okay, I love 589 00:44:45.199 --> 00:44:55.039 you, I love you. I'm done now, I swear not coming seenogy 590 00:44:57.679 --> 00:45:15.639 can how can how can the joan? Because we can't sell spe speakin sas 591 00:45:15.719 --> 00:45:17.039 Mekin sas Me