Andy, cancel So High Ecstasy, Sag cancelgor It's not Sorrylogy. What's up?
Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing this episode,
then you were meant to be here, so keep listening. I'm not
Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh, other times, Babey girl,
We're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered positive
bitch self. That is Babe in true connection with herself. On this podcast,
we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into exactly who
we came here to be. Can I get a name? Amen? I
recently put up on Instagram? What do you positive bitches want to hear this
week? And, without a doubt, the most requested topic is how do
we get them off of our pedda stal So we're gonna talk about it.
If you feel like I'm good on the day to day, I'm fine doing
my daily habits, but as soon as I start dating someone, I lose
my focus. All I can do is obsess over them. If you feel
like I'm okay, but as soon as someone else comes into my life,
everything gets cloudy. This podcast is for you if you are dating, If
you are single, if you are in a relationship, you need to hear
this information because let's not forget at the end of the day, we came
into this world alone, and we're gonna leave this world alone. We cannot
come to planet Earth and then betray our own existence the whole entire time and
forget that we have a purpose, we have a presence, we have things
to do while we are in this plane. So if you have trouble taking
people off your pedestal, and as soon as you start dating someone or even
a friendship, they become your whole entire world and you lose your center,
you need to hear these words. Today we are gonna be treating in our
anxiety about this connection, our confusion about this connection. What are they doing?
What does this mean? And we are going to be receiving today in
a little perfect box and a bow, our own piece. Again. We
are gonna be decentering who were dating, even friendships, and we're gonna be
dusting off our pedestal so we can take back our rightful throne. Now,
this podcast is not a hating on men podcasts. That's not what we're about.
I love men, I love women, I love everyone Okay, so
that is not what this is. This is real advice on how to take
your focus back and live through your divine, feminine energy so you don't essentially
lose yourself and go crazy, because I've been there and it's really not fun.
We're not trash talking men. We don't need those faulty beliefs on this
podcast. If you're looking for love, you want love, you want to
feel love, then this is the right place for you. I don't care
who you're dating. I don't care what you're dating. You need to be
on your own pedestal. Before we get into our topic today, I do
want to say join the pedestal path. This is a course which is based
on my pedestal principle, which we're going to talk a little bit about today.
But if you really want to do a deep dive, the pedestal path
will help you refocus on you, stop energetically chasing, find your peace,
find yourself, find your purpose, and essentially quantum leap to a more magnetic
timeline. If you're going through a breakup, the twenty one Day Breakup will
help you refocus on you, take your power back, shift the dynamic between
you and your ex and discover yourself again. I created these things so that
you can take your power back. I've been there, I understand it,
and that's why I created these courses. You can also start with the Divine
Feminine Healing Workbook and or the Calling your Power Back Workbook as well, or
you can get the free meditation on YouTube to Call your Power Back. All
that will be linked below, but without further ado. We have so much
to talk about, so let's get into this. I want you to hear
me when I say, no one is worth you losing your peace. No
one is worth you betraying yourself. If someone is telling you you have to
dull parts of yourself down in order to be with them, or they're not
saying it, but making you feel as if that is the only way for
this relationship to continue, it's not worth it. You might not realize this
now, but betraying yourself now will leads you to not only hate them later,
but hate yourself too. It leads to resentment, even if you don't
feel it just yet. You have had the power this whole entire time.
You have had the power this whole entire time. You might be thinking,
CC that doesn't make any sense I feel like they might leave me. I
feel like they're gonna break up with me. I feel like I have to
be perfect for them to be in a relationship with me. I'm constantly thinking
about them. Okay, but who placed them on your pedestal? The only
person who can place someone on your pedestal is you. They can't run into
your life, push you off the pedestal and decenter you. No, you're
the one who has decentered yourself and allow them to take that place in your
life. Now, this isn't me just blaming you. This is us realizing
not only our power, but our responsibility. You centering yourself, becoming the
main character, putting yourself back on your own pedestal. That is not only
in your power, it's your responsibility. No one can take your power away.
No one can force you to make them the center of your life.
You can only allow that to happen. And if you allow it, that
is you gifting them your power and you taking a step back and letting them
be the center of your life. In the long run, you will not
be happy if you're centering your partners. And again, this isn't a we
hate men podcasts. No, I love men, I love women. That
to me, that narrative doesn't make any sense. What are we doing here?
Let's not lie to ourselves. Ninety nine percent of people want to be
in a relationship. They want to be with another person. I want to
get you what you want, and you're not gonna get what you want by
taking the pain of past relationship or someone from a past relationship, if that
was a guy, You're not gonna get the relationship you want by focusing on
the guy that hurt you and gave you what you didn't want. There are
amazing men out there. There's amazing women out there. There's amazing people out
there. So let's get over that hump and stop lying to ourselves that all
men are trash. They're not, and not all women are trash. They
are not. There's beautiful, amazing people. How do I know that?
Because I exist, because you exist, because I have family and friends who
exists that I see every single day. So how do we master manifestation?
Not manifestation, but manifestation attract not chase? How do we take them off
our pedestal? How do we decenter them? Number one, realizing that you
have had the power all along, you are the one who allowed them to
take center stage. You are the one who stepped off your pedestal and put
them on your pedestal. You are the one who has been more focused on
them than yourself. And it's not to blame. It's to realize, oh
my god, I've had this power all along. I I have had the
power. I recently was talking to a shaman and she said something so beautiful
to me, and that was your feminine energy. Essentially, is your responsibility
regardless of how other people are showing up, regardless of what they're doing.
You can decide to show up in your feminine energy anyway. Yes, there's
going to be men who are in their feminine energy, but that doesn't mean
you have to automatically shift into your masculine and show up in another way.
No, you can just decide, oh, that doesn't work for me,
and I'm going to continue to be in my feminine energy. How we show
up, what we broadcast, what we do with our focus, our divine
feminine energy, that is all in our power to decide for regardless of how
others are showing up. We don't have to match the vibration of what other
people are giving us no, we can show up how we wish and keep
it moving and grooving, and people treat them accordingly, understand who they are
and place them accordingly, and continue to show up in our authentic energy the
model I want you to have moving forward. And I heard this from some
show I was watching on television, but they said the line, I don't
have room to be disturbed right now. I don't have time to be disturbed
right now. So if you're gonna come into my life, you better be
stepping up with the best foot forward. Otherwise I'm really just gonna understand who
you are. I accept who you are, but I will place you accordingly,
and that will be just outside of my life. And I was thinking
about this sentence, and I really resonated with yes, I don't have time
to be disturbed right now. But then I thought about it, and I
thought about past versions of me, and I thought about the version of me
that was very codependent, had a ton of time to be disturbed, and
and when she was disturbed, fed into the disturbing energy even more. And
I said, what's the difference between the version of me right now and the
version of me that allowed herself to be disturbed? And you know what it
is. I didn't have something I felt worth protecting when I was allowing myself
to be disturbed by people I was dating my relationship. I didn't feel that
I was good enough, or my life was good enough, or I had
anything worthy of protecting. So I let people. Yes, let I let
people come into my life. I let them disturb me. I let them
get into my brain and make me feel anxious and confused. I let it
happen. And I thought about this some more. Think about a mama bear.
What is a mama bear known for. She is protective of her cubs.
You better not f with a mama bear, because she will she will
come after you. She is protective of her cubs. Her cubs are valuable
to her. Her cubs are worthy to her. Her cubs are something worth
protecting. My mom used to volunteer at this woman's shelter and a lot of
women who would come through were women who didn't have the money or the means,
but they had a child and they needed help. And what my mom
always told me, she started to notice a pattern. These women would come
in before they were pregnant. They would be with abusive partners, and my
mom would try to counsel them to get them away from the abusive partners,
and they wouldn't leave. And over time, my mom started to notice that
once these women actually had their baby, there was a prominent pattern that they
then were somehow granted this internal strength that they would then leave the abusive partner.
She noticed that when these women had their child for the first time ever,
they saw their child as something worth protecting, something that was valuable,
That something internally went off that gave them the strength of I gotta get away
from this abusive person. These women didn't see themselves as valuable enough or as
confident enough to walk away from these abusive situations, but once they had this
child, they had something to protect. This is something we need to look
at because there were times in my life and I was not having abuse or
anything like that, but there was times in my life where I didn't feel
worthy enough. I didn't feel like I had anything going on in my life.
I didn't feel valuable enough to protect something. I didn't have anything to
protect. So I let people disturb me. I let them will it's chaos
in my life. I let them take my peace because I didn't feel I
was worthy enough or had anything worth protecting. But over time, as I
found myself, as I built myself up, as I built my business,
I built my self worth. I built my confidence, I found my calling.
I have a following now that's worth protecting. I have a mission now
that's worth protecting. I built up a version of CC that is worth protecting
that. Yet, you know what, I can't be disturbed by any bs
you want to bring into my life because I have something worth protecting right now.
And it breaks my heart that I didn't feel that way about the past
versions of myself. But I want you to understand. If you don't feel
like you're worth protecting right now, if you don't feel like you're good enough
to have something good in your life, you don't feel good enough to have
the relationship or the love that you want, or the career that you want,
It's okay because I've been there too. We gotta build you up,
we gotta build your life up, we gotta build something that you believe is
worth protecting. Because when you have something worth protecting, Guess who's a mama
bear now for her own self? Guess who's a mama bear around her and
her child, her life, her career. It's me and it will be
you too. When we are not able to derive purpose, validation, self
love, self acceptance from ourself, we starve for it in other people,
especially our intimate relationships. When I couldn't validate myself, when I had no
purpose in myself, I would starve for it in my partner. I knew
it was easier for me to ignore all of these feelings bubbling up and just
hang out with my partner instead of really facing the issues that I was having.
I didn't feel good enough, I didn't feel worthy loss, I didn't
know what I wanted to do. It was easier for me to ignore my
intuition, ignore all those feelings, and just watch a movie with my partner.
Yeah it was easier in the moment, but what ended up happening It
was harder in the long run. Being in denial doesn't mean that those feelings
are going to just vanish, No, they build up. There is something
about human beings we need to acknowledge. When are human beings happy happiest?
I should say it's when they're building something, building a family, building a
home, building a career. How many times do we have to see in
our own life. I really really wanted this. I finally got it.
Okay, now I'm onto the next thing. Once we get what it is
we want, we start focusing on, Okay, what's the next thing that
I can build, What's the next thing I can do? Progress makes human
beings happy. We like to water things and see them grow. I really
think this comes down to the fact that we're spiritual beings and we came here
to learn how to manipulate energy, how to manifest, how to use our
own focus and feelings to manifest the life that we want. We came here
to learn, develop and grow. So of course that's going to be something
that fills us up, is growing things that we want to see in our
life. So if you're able to have somewhat of a focus on yourself when
you're alone, but as soon as someone else comes into the picture, your
focus is all disregulated. We need to bring that focus back home. We
need to bring ourselves back to the center of our own reality. This brings
us to step number two to taking them off your pedestal. Number one is
to realize you have the power to do so. Number two is to realize
that we have a natural affinity to build things. But here's the caveat.
The one thing that you should not be solely focused on building is another person.
You did not come here to be Bob the builder. You are not
your partner's rehabilitation center. You are not here to focus only on another human
being. When you're ready with your partner to create a family, you two
will come together and that will be a co creation. But if you're not
popping out babies right now, you need to be focusing on you. Another
thing me and the shaman delved into is that self focus is of the divine
feminine energy. Focusing on the other is the divine masculine energy. To be
in your divine feminine energy, you have to be focused here. Trust me,
I get it. I also was conditioned to walk into a room and
check the energetic temperature of everyone in it. I also was conditioned to be
more perceptive of how other people are perceiving me than to be in touch with
my own feelings. I also grew up in my masculine energy, so I
understand it might not always be the easiest thing to do, but it's actually
much simpler than we're making it out to be. To decenter someone else we
actually have to just recenter ourselves. It's not this fight uphill to get this
person out of my center. If you just refocus onto yourself, they will
automatically fall out of your center. And this is us stepping into our divine
feminine energy. How do you know if they are your center? Anytime you're
acting in accordance with anything else besides your own values or your own authenticity,
you are not in your center period. So if you are manipulating yourself for
them, changing what you value for them, changing who you are for them,
dulling your shine for them, more focused on what are you doing with
your career? Are you being the person I need you to be? As
soon as you start doing that, you're in your masculine energy. It's over.
You're not in your center. I want you to get really clear on
what you want in your own life. What do you want in your career,
What do you want in your friendships? What do you want in your
free time, in your hobbies, in your activities. Do you have a
creative outlet? What do you want and what do you value? And from
your values, from your desires. You have to build yourself up. Now.
Coming from someone who is very codependent. If I didn't have something to
literally do with my time, I would just start obsessing over that other person
and they would immediately become my center. So I had to create for myself
non negotiables. Non negotiables. What are they for? They are literally boundaries,
not even for other people. They're for myself because if I didn't have
these boundaries for myself, I would just be like, what are you doing?
How are you? How can I help you? So I had to
have these boundaries, not for other people before myself. Non negotiables are activities
or things that you do on a daily or weekly basis that make you you.
They are fulfilling. You enjoy doing them, whether that's creating content or
going to pilates or going to yoga, or painting or coloring, or singing
or going to dance, whatever it may be, working out, taking a
walk. No matter if I'm with my partner, if I'm not with my
partner, if I'm single, if I'm in a relationship, it does not
matter. I will always do these non negotiables. Why Because they help me
keep myself on my own center, on my own pedestal. And it's not
about other people. This whole entire concept is really about, Oh, I've
learned to always people please, and now I have to release this faulty programming
and like an onion, peel back all these layers to find myself again.
Principle or step number three is understanding the pedestal principle. How you treat yourself
will be reflected back to you in your external reality. So if you place
yourself on your pedestal, other people will place you on the pedestal too.
If you place them on a pedestal, they'll treat you like a fan.
It's a mirror effect. How you treat yourself will be mirrored back to you.
This also means when we ghost ourself, they're more likely to ghost us
too. I want you to start thinking of yourself as your most prized possession,
because you are. By the way, you were literally gifted this vessel.
You were gifted this body by God to come here and experience what it's
like to be a human. Dolorus Cannon, who is God rest her soul,
who is a very very known hypnotherapist, very famous for this. She
said, there was lines and lines and lines of souls that wanted to be
on planet Earth during this time that it was a very popular time for souls
to come to planet Earth and be a human. Everyone wanted to do it.
There's gonna be a huge shift in this great awakening. Guess what,
bitch, you got to come to planet Earth. You got here. Your
soul thought to be here, It wanted to be here, decided to be
here. Do not waste this incarnation? Okay, because there was a line.
According to Dolores Kennon, I believe her, when we are mistreating ourselves,
we're gonna see that in our relationships with other people. You are your
most prized possession. If your parents gave you a really nice bracelet or a
really nice piece of jewelry, or they bought you your first car, or
they I don't even know they bought you a TAMAGATCHI, I don't know,
whatever it is that you would really appreciate. If they bought you something you've
been wanting, wanting, wanting, and you finally got this thing, wouldn't
you treat it with the utmost respect. Wouldn't you see this thing as valuable?
Wouldn't you see this thing as well, this is beautiful. I'm gonna
protect this, wouldn't you? So? Why are you not protecting yourself?
Why are you not respecting yourself? Trust me? I had to have this
come to Jesus moment to it was a little whoop jump scare, But it's
okay, We're getting through it. I had to realize I was gifted this
body by God. I was in a line of souls to get to planet
Earth, and I got here. Go me. I gotta treat myself with
some respect. Now. I gotta respect my own time, respect my own
boundaries, respect my incarnation. Because if I don't, who will. If
I don't go after the things I want, who will. I want you
to see yourself as this gift. If you wouldn't give your apartment keys to
just anyone, don't give away your time, your attention, your body,
your affection to just anyone. You are sacred. Your energy is sacred.
Your body is sacred. But if you don't treat it as such, other
people aren't going to treat it as sacred either. You have to hold yourself
up on that pedestal. Remember step number one to decentering them is understanding you
have the power to do so. So if you have the power to take
them off your pedestal and decenter them. You also have the power to put
yourself on the pedestal. And how do we mainly do this? Through self
focus, by having our own non negotiables, by building our self up so
we can finally see ourselves as being worthy to realizing that we were granted permission,
we chose to be here, and we were able to come to planet
during this time in this body. Oh my goodness, I have to protect
this incarnation. Another way of seeing that you are something valuable to protect is
envision your inner child. Envision your younger self. Would you let someone treat
your younger self like this, you would step up for her. Sometimes it's
really hard to stand up for ourselves, and for whatever silly reason, it's
easier to stand up for other people. If you find it hard to center
yourself, center your inner child. Center her, be the savior that she's
always dreamt about, that she's always needed, that she's been crying for since
she's been five years old, Because that will snap you out of centering other
people, real quick, real quick. Now Step number four. There is
this funny joke that I heard one time, and essentially this man was saying,
men are a lot like parking lots. They will allow in many many
different cars, many many different people, and they'll just say, yeah,
that's cool, that's fine, that's whatever. However, women are much more
like driveways. We allow in just one car, just the car we know,
and that's that's all. There's a biological reason for this. We in
tribal times had to be more selective with who we chose as a partner.
We needed someone to protect us literally from bears and other tribes and people.
Also, nine months out of the year, if we were to get pregnant,
we had to be now with that man because that was the person who
was going to help us with this child. So we have biologically been wired
to be more selective or more tapped into our intuition as well. Let's use
this to our advantage. We literally have a biological sway towards being more selective.
Let's use this to our advantage. When you're more selective of what you
allow into your life, you get selected more by the things that you want.
That's a good thing. That's a good thing. If there is someone
who you've been trying to take off your pedestal or decenter and you're like ccum,
out of my mind, I can't do this take out a pen and
piece of paper. You can even do this on your phone. I'd rather
you do it with a pen and piece of paper, though. I want
you to write out a list of everything you dislike about this person, because
you need to remind yourself that right now your emotions are screaming and we need
to introduce our brain to the equation this person might have a hold on you
because you're emotionally attached to them. Okay, fine, We've all been emotionally
attached to someone who we had to remove ourselves from. Okay, it's possible.
Join the twenty one day Breakup Gloat challenge if you really want to kick
it up into gear, I want you to write down a list of everything
you dislike about them. They're inconsistent. They really don't treat me well.
They're here one day, gone the next. I have no idea where we
stand. This is a situationship. I really don't feel valued by them.
They never open the car door for me, They want to go fifty to
fifty on dates. Write down everything you dislike about them, and every single
time you start to spiral about them, you start to want to text them,
You want to reach out to them, take out the list and read
the list. This is a brain game. You need to get your brain
on board with your reality because right now your reality is showing you something,
but your brain is still stuck in the past. It still is looking for
that dopamine hit up. Where's my tex where's my hug, where's my kiss?
So we need to show out a brain that there's more to life than
this icky, sticky person. Okay, so we're gonna write down the list.
We're gonna read this list every single time you want to reach out to
them, every single time you want to talk to them, every single time
you miss them. Remind yourself of what it is you don't want, so
you can make a room for what it is you do want. Another way
to decenter them if you're going through a breakup is to simply pretend that they're
unlive. Yeah, now, why would we do this. Technically, they
are un alive because they're out of the picture. They also really don't exist
in your reality anymore if they're not directly in front of you. Hashtag the
observer of fact. We don't need to get into it, but it basically
states that when you look at something, it's form changes. So if we're
not looking at something, technically they just poof into an energetic wavelength and no
longer exists in our reality. So technically they don't exist anymore, at least
according to your reality. Why would we pretend they're un alive because we're gonna
use this as a brain tool to stop spiraling about them. Remember what is
the divine feminine energy? It's self focus. If we keep focusing on them,
we're going into our mask and energy. We're starting to energetically chase them,
and that just repels them anyway. But let's say you need to get
them off your brain because you're being obsessed, you're going through a breakup,
it's a situationship you want to remove, or you just want to take them
off your pedestal. Pretend they're on a live every time, you want to
obsess over their Instagram? Who are they following? What are they doing?
I want to reach out to them, Why aren't they texting me? Wait
a second, they're on the live, so they can't be dating someone new.
They can't be getting married, they can't be getting engaged, they can't
be doing anything. They can't be posting on Instagram because they're on a live
They don't exist in my reality, so I literally can't spiral about them anyway.
And then what you're gonna do? So Step one, pretend they're on
alive. Step two, do something else for fifteen minutes. Read a book,
learn something new, watch a ted talk, learn a new language,
paint your toes. I don't really care. It's best if you learn something
new. So you're replacing one habit that used to give you dopamine with another
habit that will give you dopamine and be interesting to you and will really ground
you in the present moment. But we need to do something. So,
whether it's taking out that list and reminding yourself of why they are not it
or telling yourself that they're all alive, which technically they are according to your
energetic reality, either one will work. If you're still dating them, I
would recommend the list so you can ground yourself in what's actually happening. And
what I mean by this is if you're just dating them and you're already obsessed
with them, you have to stop feeling in their silences with your own desires
because that's going to trip you up, and you're romanticizing them and you're falling
in love with a version of them that doesn't even exist, and if you
do end up going your separate ways, it's just going to hurt a lot
more So, have a list of what they're actually doing. Are there words
matching their actions? Are they being consistent with you? Is this someone you
would want to have a family with. Do you actually see a future with
them? Write down what's actually happening, so every time you start to romanticize
them, you can reel yourself back in and snap back to reality. Next
step to taking them off your pedestal. You might not like what I'm about
to say, but I'm not on these platforms so I can just build a
following. I'm not gonna lie to you. These terwer card videos you gotta
stop. You have to stop listening to them. I'm not saying that there
are not very talented people. I'm not saying that these things cannot be true.
I'm saying they're messing with your mind and you have to stop. You
want to know what your future is. Guess who's the best psychic for you?
You Based on your thoughts, intentions, and actions, that is what's
going to manifest your future. You need a psychic check in with what you're
doing on a daily basis. What's more important is what's more likely? I
just need us to snap back to reality for a second. What's more likely
that these terror videos that are telling you, and again no disrespect to these
people. They're very talented, a lot of them, and I really do
enjoy that there art and everything. It's no hate to them, but for
your own sake. What's more likely this person is secretly obsessed with you.
They're journaling about you every single night, thinking about you, but have this
mother wound and can't come forward to tell you the truth, or they're just
not into it. What's more likely they are so enthralled with you, so
in love with you, You're on their mind every single second. They just
can't reach out because there's something from their past creeping up on them, or
they're just not that into it. Usually the simplest answer is the answer.
But I'm gonna take it up one more step. Let's say all these hower
videos are true and they are enthralled with you, but they just can't make
the first move. Why do we even want that person? They sound like
a headache. That's not them being steeped in their masculine energy. That's not
what it is you want. Action is thought reinforced. If they don't have
the capacity and capability to step forward, plan a date, ask you out,
be consistent. Who cares what's going on in their brain? Who cares
what they're going through? You don't have time to be disturbed. This is
a magnetic mindset shift. I have built myself up and my life up.
I don't have time to be guessing what is Harry thinking. I have a
business to attend to, I have friends to see, things to do.
I can't be trying to piece together your mental puzzle. You can only meet
someone as deep as they have met themselves. It doesn't even matter if all
these videos are true, because who has time to be disturbed like that?
That is how we start to center them and decenter ourselves, and it leads
to us draining ourselves. It leads to us being confused, It leads to
chaos, It leads to us being so upset of what's going on. You
have to stop being the puppet and letting other people and even this person,
write your story for you, and you gotta relate back in remember being focused
on them and what they're thinking and what they're doing. That's your masculine energy
being focused here, that's our feminine energy. If you want to get into
your feminine energy, refocus on you and I know, trust me, I'm
there with you. I understand sometimes it can be difficult, and I too
feel those pains. It's a practice. It's a practice. We're not looking
for perfection. We're just looking for progress and everything. I'm saying, if
you can just strive to do it, eighty ninety percent of the time,
you're gonna feel better. You don't have to be perfect all the time,
but let's just strive. Let's just strive for it. I'm telling you,
take a break from social media. Stop watching the terwer car videos. Shut
your phone, turn it off. These videos. They're going to be convincing
you of too much. It's too much for someone to bear, and all
it does is cause you to have so much anxiety. I have so many
clients who have fallen prey to these videos, and they're in their own head
and they get so worked up and so nervous. Let them go. I
don't care what's going on going on with that other person. We have to
care more about what's going on with ourself. And if they can't show up
for us, baby girl, you have to show up for yourself. I
know this is a tough pill to swallow, but I rather you do that
now than choke later. If they're being inconsistent, they're not showing up for
you, you're having to text them what are you doing? Can we hang
out? It's not because of what these tower videos are saying. I'm just
saying it's not. It's not because they have this mother wound and can't do
that a minute and they're like in a street jacket energetically. No, they're
either not that into it or they're nothing player. They're just a player,
So go let them play on the playground. You're not a child. It's
giving immaturity. Good freaking buye. Who needs that. You don't have time
to be disturbed. I'm not going to lie to you. So if they're
not giving you courtship, you will feel confused. If you're confused, they're
either not that into it or a player. Done done? Why watch thirty
hours of terror videos. I just solved your problem. Move on, move
on. I know, come here, come Brandon, cry cry, cry,
let it out, you know, let it out. Whatever, But
no, I do. We're gonna fall into psychosis if we keep listening to
these videos. We need to snap back to reality. And why am I
saying this, It's because I've been there. I've listened to the videos.
I've chased him before. I m I cleaned a man's apartment once. Oh
what, didn't even know him? Ugh woo, didn't know him, took
out his trash what? Yeah, yeah, I did do that. I
did do that. And the terror videos were like, he's secretly in love
with you. Keep doing what you're doing, You're amazing. In reality,
he just wasn't into it. You know, where was the terror video about
that? Because I wish, wish I would have known. Let's stop assuming.
Let's just let's stop assuming. You know, like, if you want
to use law of assumption to man this piece of hair is driving me crazy.
If you want to use law of assumption to manifest your reality, go
off, assume the best. Whatever. But if someone is being inconsistent and
it's not progressing, and it's not getting better and it's not changing, just
look at the reality. Why do we need to see fifty tower videos.
No, they're either not that into it or they're a player, and both
of those options, total thumbs down. IW not into it. Been there,
done that, it sucked. Never recommend it. Oh god no,
don't do it. Save yourself. Don't waste your time. Why because you
don't have time to be disturbed. Why because you're building up your life.
You are centering yourself again, you don't have time to be disturbed. You
are building up something that you can feel that is worthy of being protect it.
Once again, I just want to say, this is no hate on
anyone who creates those videos, but we gotta stop, maybe, girl,
we gotta stop. A mixed signal is a signal. No communication is communication.
Silence is actually very loud. If they don't have one minute, because
yes, it does take one minute to say hi, how are you.
Hope you're doing well. If they don't have one minute to check in with
you, you don't have time to think about them. You don't have time
to be disturbed. That's our motto. Remember, you don't have time to
think what are they doing? What are they doing? What are they doing?
Men fall in love with what they invest in, very logical beings.
The more they invest their time, energy, affection, money into, the
more they are like, I need to see where this goes, because I
invested in this and it has to go somewhere now. Allowing someone to treat
you negatively, allowing them to be inconsistent, allowing them to just throw you
around, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. That's
a symptom of you believing that you were not worthy of more. So we
have to go back to the drawing board, and we need to build ourselves
up so we know. Wait a second, not only is silence so loud,
but I'm worthy of more. And if I don't think I'm worthy of
more, I gotta build up myself so I'm proud of something. I gotta
instead of romanticizing them, romanticize myself, romanticize my career, romanticize my present
moment, romanticize my workouts. Maybe I need cuter workout clothes to make myself
feel better. Maybe I just need a freaking spray tand I swear just getting
my hair done a little curly wirl, I feel so magnetic, so amazing.
Sometimes it's little physical things really can make us feel all better. Instead
of romanticizing them, we need to romanticize our daily habits, our self,
our self care, our journaling, going to the nearest harbor, the ocean.
We need to start to romanticize our self self care, baby girl.
That is love in action. Okay, that is you showing up to the
table, You focusing on yourself, You fulfilling your own cup. When we're
so focused on filling up their cup, filling up their cup, filling up
their cup, being perfect, perfect, perfect, We're like, wait a
second, do I even like this person? I don't even freaking know because
my focus has been on them the whole entire time. Romanticize your life and
build it up so you actually feel that this life is worthy of protecting.
I'm worthy of protecting, I'm worthy of more. And there's more. There's
a billion people in this world. There are other people who want to give
you what you want, who are willing to give you what you want and
also can afford your energy. Go towards them by decentering the people who aren't
capable of giving it, of giving you what it is you need. It
doesn't matter if you're playing hard to get, it doesn't matter if you're acting
like the cool girl, because energy doesn't lie. So if you're centering them,
they're going to feel that you will get ghosted repeatedly. They will fall
out of your life. You will feel drained, because what matters is the
energy that's behind the action. If they left your life, you're going to
create beauty in the space they left you with. That's why I got onto
TikTok in the first place. I was going through a breakup or went through
a breakup. I had all this time and space. I started to create,
and look where it got me. Now, look how making that one
little decision of starting a TikTok started my business, my career, my podcast,
a book deal. Oh that's interesting. It's almost like God removes people
from our life so we can refocus on ourselves and our connection with the divine.
Oh that's interesting. Hmmm. Romanticize your brain, learn something new.
I'm telling you. When you build yourself up and your life up to something
you can be proud of, you're going to be that mama bear. You're
gonna want to protect it and you're not gonna let anyone just step all over
you. Now, the last step for taking them off your pedestal is taking
back that energy. So what you're gonna do is close your eyes. Imagine
this person, a couple of feet in front of you in your mind's eye,
and simply say, I lovingly and peacefully call all of my power back
to me now. I lovingly and peacefully call all of my power back to
me now. And envision your white light energy leaving the top of that person's
head, going into the top of your head, down to your sacral chalker
right below your belly button, and filling up this energy center with a bright
orange color. And feel your energy manifesting back into your body. Feel your
energy restoring, rebalancing you, and come back home to you girl, because
you deserve it. If you want more guidance on calling your power back,
you can get the Calling your Power Back Workbook. It's literally only eleven dollars.
You can also get the free meditation on YouTube which will be linked in
the show notes. To call your power back, do it every single day
until you are feeling stable enough. Some of us, before we can center
ourselves, have to stabilize ourselves. So take some time to stabilize your energy
back into your own body by calling your power back, by doing the workbook,
by doing the meditation, and if you're ready, join the Pedestal Path
where you can learn all of this but even more enhanced and advanced, so
you don't have to keep repeating the patterns that you don't want to repeat,
and you can truly take your power back because you deserve it. You deserve
it. We're never gonna be happy if we're centering someone else. It's time
we find and create our own happiness. As always, the sparkle in me
honors the sparkling you. Thank you for spending time with me here. I
love you so much and I will see oh wait before I even go there.
If you can leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, it
helps a podcast grow. It means the world to me. I would really
appreciate it. If not for me, do it for you because karma and
now I will see you in the next one. Don't forget to did I
just say that with an accident? I don't know. Don't forget to follow
me on Instagram at vibe with CC so you can suggest topics as well,
or you can always watch on YouTube and comment below. Okay, I love
you, I love you. I'm done now, I swear not coming seenogy
can how can how can the joan? Because we can't sell spe speakin sas
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