He Welcome to Buns and Banter, a podcast by work Busties for work Busties.
Hey. I'm Lauren and I'm Ali. We're both morning show hosts for
iHeartMedia. We're both millennials, and we're both trying to figure out how to
build the live speed dream about dating, marriage, career, career, and
being a mom, how to get through a week without crying. Welcome to
Buns and Banter. We're glad you're here. Have a great day. Oh
my gosh, you came like blasting in here in a great way, in
a super excited way. And I really want to know why I am so
much for us to talk about today. You printed notes. I have notes
printed and one of these I am so excited to get your feedback on.
And the other one do you see? Oh I thought we got rid of
that in Miss Again. We did, but there are still twenty one states.
Okay, So what do you want to start with? Do you want
to start with the tampon tax? Yes? Because I am outraged. I
also just like anytime that there might be a man listening and we say tampon,
they're like ooohoo, So yes, please, Yes, there is a
new tax refund coming. For decades, people who use tampons have been fighting
against taxes on tampons and other feminine hygiene products, and now they've been joined
by a slew of company who make them. Nice. So this is actually
the companies. A few companies that make feminine hygiene products have come together and
they have said, hey, we think the tampon tax is bullshit. We
don't think that you guys should get taxed on stuff that you literally have to
use every single month. Because ain't nobody out here wanting to free bleed.
Sorry, no, there's not graphic. We don't. Yeah, So they
have come together to form the Tampon Tax Coalition. Oh my gosh, a
lot of states, Michigan, where we are included in this, has banned
gotten rid of it, has gotten rid of it. Governor Whitmer, our
governor here in Michigan, signed a bill repealing the tampon tax back in twenty
twenty one, and it was like supported on both sides. It was bipartisan.
And this says that in Michigan, it saves families from paying taxes on
up to forty eight hundred dollars of spending over the course of a lifetime.
So that's wow, like five grand that you spend over a lifetime just on
being a woman having a period and buying feminine hygiene products. Meanwhile, I
think the whole thing here is that not to put this like, I don't
ever want to pit men against women, but I think the thing is here,
things like rogane and viagra, which are used primarily by men. Hold
up, they are not taxed. Rogaine isn't taxed. Men trying to look
younger by painting their hair isn't taxed. Are you kidding? I did not
know that they are considered medical necessities. Oh no, I'm sorry. I'm
thinking of just for men. Roguan grows it right, yes, still stand
by it. They don't get taxed for that. And I do know there
are a lot of women that I have seen on social media that are now
using rogain because like it grow your it'll grow your eyebrows back. Yeah,
I had no idea, So they're not. So twenty one states in the
US are still taxing period products because they're non essential goods. That's how they're
classified. Meanwhile, products like rogan and viagra are considered medical necessities, so
this tampon tax coalition. I've come together to basically say this is bullshit.
We're collectively taking a stand against the tax or the tampon tex August of twenty
twenty three. The coalition was built to expand impacts. So if you are
buying from participating brands August, Cora, Diva, here we Flow the Honeypot,
here, Lola Salt or Rayel Rayale, I'm not exactly sure how to
rail. They'll reimburse you for any tampon tax that you pay. That's nice,
but just these companies. So here's the deal. You gotta sign up
with your phone number on tampon tax Let me get the let me get make
sure I get the website correct. This is I'm glad we have a video
component because if you could see my eyes rolling out of my head right now.
With the row game Tampon taxback dot com. You just have to like
put your phone number in. You do have to submit receipts for the purchases
of the participating brands, which again are August and Cora on the Honeypot and
Lola and whatever. Yeah, but then you'll get a refund back in forty
eight hours or whatever tax you for forty eight hours too. Yeah, leave
it to women to be on top and timely. That's insane. I thought
that was amazing. That's really cool. I'm so sorry. I'm just still
gobsmacked by the rogain thing. I knew the viagra thing. I did not
know growing hair is considered essential while something that keeps my clothes and those around
me clean is not. You know, I don't even. I don't.
I'm not like super familiar with what is taxed and what's not tax Like,
I guess I didn't realize that things like viagra or things like rogaine, like
we're not. I knew viagra wasn't well because like you have to have a
prescription for those things. It's not like you can buy. Do you have
to have rogain? You can buy over the counter, can't you? Yes?
Is viiagraph prescription though it's not OTC. I don't know, so we
don't need it. No, I'm just but no, I don't. I
don't know. That's that's a good point. But I I did know that
they were not taxed, and it's just been like driving this force where it's
like what what Because when you talk inflation, especially, I mean if you've
seen the price of some of the feminine hygiene products lately. Oh yeah it
is, Oh, it is up a lot, and then you put that
tax on there. It's like, I don't know, Maybe I do move
to a commune for one week every month and join my fellow sisterhood and we
just bask in our glory. Yeah, because it ain't cheap. So if
if we call you and ask you to pick us up a box of tampons
or pads or pantyliners or whatever, and you choose that opportunity to gripe about
these this is your stuff, you need to pay for it, that would
be that I would advise you just pick it up and don't say a word.
Can I tell your relationship red flag? Because Chris has never done that.
He's never picked up you never said no, Okay, because I had?
I did. I dated a guy once and we were together for a
decent amount of time and he was so weird and actually rude about it,
and I'm like, if you can't handle this, there is absolutely no way
you can handle what's going to be thrown to us. And if you don't,
you can't hit me at my worst, at my thickest, at my
raddest you do not deserve me at my best. I agree, And Chris
is number He's he does have to FaceTime me. He'll FaceTime me in the
mire and be like, there's just a lot of boxes and sizes here,
baby, right. I appreciate that. Thank you. Yes, And you've
got to get your brand and you've got to get your size and you've got
it. There's just there's a lot that goes into it. So anyways,
that got my click this week online. I like that. I thought that
that was very very cool and I would like to applaud these brands August Cora
Diva, here we float the Honeypot, Lola Salt, and rael are Ael
for coming together to form the Tampon Text Coalition. Three cheers, whoop,
woop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. hYP Hey peay love it.
Yeah, that's a good click. Oh my god. And I just
love that you printed things off. Yeah, I'm still I'm still working off
of the Instagram. Because I saw this, I actually wanted to talk to
you about maybe the differences in our lives outside of work. Yeah, so
because we talk a lot about this, what Ali and I really love about
hanging out and especially doing this together. Is that all of these things we
talk about lots of times will agree and then lots of times it's not that
we disagree. We just have such different life spaces that we're in that it's
an interesting conversation. Yeah, and so I follow Mel Robbins. I think
we're both big fans. I love her motivational speaker, author, podcaster.
She has just I think, really really great advice about a lot of things.
And she has talked a lot about her hashtag do it anyway, Oh,
big bang, big band, And usually I put that into more of
a professional scope, but this past week, I'm going to Vegas in a
couple of weeks. Yeah, and I want to feel good. You know,
I'm going to be wearing dresses and bathing suits and I'm going to be
in warmer weather again. And so I started, I started like trying to
run ough and it looks as terrible as it feels. I mean, I
am just I will never be a bit fluencer because I just I look like
a broken windmill when I run. My legs stick out, I've got weird
knees. It's not good. But it was the other night, it was
raining, it was cold, it was dusk, and I thought, you
know what, Mel Robbins says, do it anyway, because she has a
whole series about how, you know, I don't want to go to the
gym, but I do it anyway because at the end of it, I
feel good. It's not about fixing my rolls or fixing anything about me.
So I went and I walked like three quarters of it, and then I
ran a quarter of it and I did feel really good about it. You
did, I did? I got done, and I said, you know
what, that actually was a very solid moment of self care for me.
But being in a marriage and a family with kids, I feel guilty that
my self care comes at the expense of someone else. So in order for
me to do that, I had to make sure that Chris was down with
cleaning up, dinner, doing bath, bedtime, books, homework, all
of it. Yeah, for me to go and do that, And I
feel sometimes I feel like I missed the opportunity to build these habits when I
wasn't married or a mom, because I feel like I had more time back
then, like I had more spontaneity where I could be like, oh,
I'm going to go run because it does make me feel better and it's great
for my mental health, versus can I go run because I know that it's
been a super crazy day and you've done a ton and then I'm leaving you
with all this stuff, which he'd be the first one to be like,
no, go do it. You do, Like, I can tell that
you are in a much better mood when you come back. But then I
slip into that guilt. Right. Do you have that at all in your
single life right now? Yes, because and this is something that we have
talked about before, you did not have more time when you were single.
I do not have more time as a single person as opposed to someone in
a relationship or with kids. We all have the same twenty four hours in
a day, so like it it's a it's a little bit triggering for me
when people who are in relationships and have kids and have relief full they're like,
oh, you have way more time than me, or like even people
who talk about our jobs, we get out a lot earlier than people do
from there nine to five, yeah, Like we're out half the time when
they're going to lunch where we work afod to noon yeah, and there they're
saying like, oh my gosh, you have so much more time in your
day. No, I don't. I don't have more time in my day.
I have the same twenty four hours that you have. Right, it's
just a different allocation of time structured do you have? You have priorities or
things that you choose to prayrioritize your kids. It's a good priority, right,
mostly, right, Like keeping them alive is a huge priority, whereas
like someone like me who's single. I mean, I like, my priorities
are different. I don't have two huge priorities that come before my every need
you do. But I totally understand and relate to the guilt that you feel
because it's just it's other things that should be made a priority that I'm not
making a priority. So it's just not kids, right, So you still
feel like there are moments where you're pouring from an empty cup because you are
not always putting yourself as a priority. Yeah, okay, one hundred percent.
One hundred percent. Like there are times where, for example, we've
got like six events in a day that we've got to do after our regular
on air stuff. Yeah, and it's like, well, I'm not working
out today, I'm not going for a walk today. I'm barely even feeding
myself today because I don't have time, nor is that my priority today.
My priority is not me today. My priority is my job and my clients
and my performance. It's interesting. It's interesting because I being friends with you
and talking through these things I think has definitely changed a lot of the unfair
perspective I had to people that didn't have as much quote unquote you know as
I feel like sometimes I do, you know, like, well, I've
got my two kids that I have to like, feed, clothe, take
to school, and then I have like my husband, who I need to
make sure that there's time for to work on our relationship and make sure we're
fulfilling each other's needs on top of this professional side of things and this work
life balance is just not an actual thing for anybody, despite the fact that
we still love to say that term. Yeah, but it's it is still
similar for you and I don't I don't want to be diminishing of you having
kids or saying like, no, we do have the same amount of hours
in the day. You don't have an excuse as to why you're not working
out. That's not what I mean. I just mean, like it when
people will come to me, or to single people in general, and they'll
say things like, oh, well, so and so they've got to get
to their kids baseball games, So can you pick up this extra project at
work? We have talked about that, or like, oh, well,
they can't make this event because you know, they have to go out of
I also have a family. I also have a family. I just don't
have children that came out of my body. I have nieces and nephews.
I want to go to their soccer games and their recitals and their stuff.
And it's like, oh, well, you know you don't have kids,
so yeah, and it's like such a I just don't And I don't know.
I realize that they that is your priority and it should be, and
people with kids they have to balance things differently. I just don't feel like
I should pick up the slack. I'm more than happy to be a team
player and to like help someone out and do them a favor, but there
are also going to be times where like I need help and like I need
favors to Now you extend the favor to me. And did you know?
Did you know that men who have families, are married with children are typically
higher earners than women who have families and children, because it's a it's a
view that oh, well, he's got a family, he needs to provide
for them. But when it's talking about giving women more money with families and
children, it's used in the exact opposite way, and it's well, they're
not going to be able to perform because they have so much other stuff going
on with their families and their kids. I cannot remember what study I will.
I will find that study so I can reference it. But sounds I
know that, Bata, I know that we've talked about that on this podcast
before, and that to me, I just feel like, is it says
a lot. It says a lot the minute a man has as a wife
and has kids, all of a sudden, it's oh, well he needs
a promotion or whatever. He's still it's still the provider stigma, right,
It's the provider stigma, and we are still as women. I just I
love I love that statement made where it's like you are supposed to work like
you don't have a family and parent, like you don't have a job,
and it goes I feel like it goes right back to that work life balance
where and you're supposed to and you're supposed to work out like you're an athlete
with no you know what I mean, Like, I just don't. I
don't know if it's because I'm getting older or my priority wiser are and wiser
and hotter, but like my entire mindset of working out, because I used
to be in college I'd work out six days a week. Wow, six
days. I never did that. And even after college, I was still
working out a ton, and just within the last I would say, like
four or five years, I mean, the pandemic really just I was like,
quit the gym, quit everything, and just we're going to take a
hard reset and just try to figure everything out. But but I just don't
feel like working out is how I know it's really good for you. You
should move your body. It's so good for your mental health and your physical
health. But I was just approaching it in the wrong way. M See.
I will tell you that. I think a great solution to maybe not
feeling as guilty about leaving my husband with stuff so I can go and even
like take a walk around the neighborhood is doing it after my kids go to
bed. Because when I got home after that first run, my son asked
me if I was having a heart attack. Oh, he does, he
know how funny he is. He was so concerned because I was like,
he wants to give me and he goes, mom, are you okay?
Are you having a And you know, he like takes a pause because he's
trying to find the words of something he's clearly just learned about for the very
first time, and he goes a heart attack. Now I'm just wickedly out
of shape and trying to snatch myself back in two weeks. So that might
be the solution. So what is it about leaving to go like work out
or take a walk or whatever, Like, what is it about that that
makes you feel guilty for leaving them? Because I leave everything with Chris,
especially in the evening when things can just be really chaotic, like the kids
are in their witching hour. We're trying to get like, he just cooked
dinner because he is our cook. I don't do much of the domestic stuff
at all. We talked about that. So he's just gotten done, like
cooking all this dinner. Now he's got to like clean up dinner, and
then he's got to like wrangle the kids and make sure that they get a
shower and a bath and the bags are packed and then get bedtime. It's
just still there at that age where it's not a super flawless routine. Right.
Every night is different, And so I feel bad going out, you
know, with my headphones on and listening to my music or a podcast and
being by myself. That it's not fair because then he doesn't. I don't
know how I reciprocate that for him. Well, what does he say about
it? He's fine with it because he's stupid Chris that is laid back and
great. I'm the only one that's giving myself this own thing. But I
also know how to get rid of it, because I still feel like I
should be giving more or not allowing him, but giving him like a time
to go and do things. I guess I don't know. Yeah, but
by whose definition? Probably mine your definition, because it sounds like he feels
like he does have that time, Like, yeah, I shouldn't give a
shit and do me. I mean, I just I think it's like just
built in to certain people I identify as a people pleaser. And yeah,
like even my mom has more recently been like stop worrying about everyone else and
just do something for you or like just think about only you in this scenario.
And I'm like, I I can't. I don't know why I'm wired
this way. I like, don't have that wiring I feel you. Yeah,
I don't. I am so affing anxious. It's the worst. Did
you see my tweet the other day? We've had like all of these We've
gotten really close on a couple of houses that we've been looking at. Yeah,
which is a terrifying move, but like Chris will just go I think
it's really exciting. And I snapped back at him the other day and I
was like, well, you've been married to me for eight years, so
you know that I walk a very thin line between exciting and vomit inducing anxiety.
So just y'all, like, I don't. I don't have like other
ways to operate. I'm either really excited and then nervous about why I'm excited,
or I'm just like, well, the world is coming to an end
and I'm going to be stuck with a mortgage, right, And then it's
like the anxiety that like I know that I'm anxious, so then other people
obviously know that I'm anxious too, And I not only could I not solve
this problem for you, but like I also can't solve it for me,
and now I'm a burden on myself and I'm a burden on you. This
is so fitting as my TikTok for you page has really changed up in the
last week or so to like people pleaser and burden type tiktoks. It's also
the time of year, like I do feel like this is a very seasonal
plight for me as well. Good word seasonal plight, seasonal. Oh my
god, that's perfectly said, just the seasonal anxi entering the season of the
plight. Yes, you thought it was the season of the Witch. Absolutely
not no plight. Mm okay. That was actually very helpful to talk to
you about, was it? Because I don't feel like I was helpful at
all, So you really were. You were very, very very helpful,
So thank you for that. But now we have to work into spooky season
for a minute. Oh, because I think it's worth pointing out that we're
recording this on Friday the thirteenth, right, I got speaking of There are
times when Chris will call me out and be like, God, you're so
fucking weird, and I don't understand where I come from. So we've been
house hunting. Yes, yes, we found this house that we really enjoyed,
not the one I showed you, a different one, okay. And
you look back at the history and you see that it was on the market,
it was being sold in twenty eighteen, and then it was back on
the market again in like mid twenty twenty, and then they tried to sell
it again in twenty twenty one, and then it's back on the market again.
Does that raise any red flags to you? No, okay, because
I think that means it's haunted, of course, naturally. Right. We
looked at this house and I'm like, Chris, I don't know, man
like any other any other information or data to support this. I'm I'm I
want to believe it with you, right. You don't want to take Chris's
side where he's like that's slightly irrational, and I was like, well,
rationalize this. I've watched enough shows of people that buy these buy houses like
this, and then it turns out it's because there's a casper there and it's
not always a friendly ghost. Did you tour the house? Oh? Yeah
you did. There's not like weird doors with locks, on the outside.
There is a weird crawl space in the basement that I have no evidence to
back this, but look like a portal to Hell. And I was like,
I don't think i'll buy this house. Our friend Candice tours around Michigan.
She does the ghost tours in Grand Rapids. She always says people are
way more sensitive to this type of stuff, like the supernatural. Yes,
I would say yes. Then, although our ghosts supernatural, I think they're
considered supernatural, are they think? Yeah, okay, yeah, I don't
know how any of that works, but she always says you're way more sensitive
than you think you are, and sometimes you just you don't realize how it
affects you until someone like actually points out like portal to Hell. Yeah,
so you having the portal to Hell. Feeling thank you so much. I
will be playing this back for Chris, So I really appreciate you anytime,
because I'm like, top three deal breakers for me like district, safety of
the neighborhood, Poulter haunted, and I think that's completely fair. Yeah,
there was. I just read something online. I can't remember how many people.
It was less than half, but it was. I want to say
it was like close to forty percent, like close to forty percent of people
have had some sort of experience with like a ghost. Wow, that actually
seems high. See, Oh it's gonna happen. I'm gonna find a great
house, I'm gonna live there, and then all of a sudden, someth's
gonna be tickleing my feet at night. Its ghosts. So I think I'm
just being careful. I'm being a good mom. Can't move my family into
a house with ghosts, you. I can't crag Tea Nelson this. So
sometimes in the middle of the night, this is like my favorite thing that
Fran does. She'll just like wake up and be barking at the ceiling and
I'm like, I know there's a ghost up there. I know it felt
like that. It's it's so scary. Yes, it's so scary, but
like your dogs don't do anything weird or nothing's ever house now. But we've
never taken that's a good I don't know if you could. We've never taken
them to showings like when we're touring a house, and I should because animals
always know animals and kids like the mail is thinner for animals and kids.
Was that last episode of the episode before we said the same thing. You're
like, man, creepy kids, creepy pets. They always know, they
always know, So that's what you have to do. Oh God, Will
would be a terrible ghost hunter, though. He'd get so distracted by something
he'd be like, Wow, Mom, look this room would fit all my
legos and completely miss the fact there was like a ghost family in the corner.
It's up to me. You're don't have to keep him on track.
Yeah, but no. The only thing I think that's more irrational than you're
haunted house theory, I think is the real estate market itself. Oh,
that probably explains twenty eighteen, twenty twenty one. That's fair. You gotta
love an eight percent interest rate. God, I'd take a ghost if I
could make him an income part of the property. Are you ready for the
next yees? Okay, maybe I'm just a triggered individual. I think weddings
cause people to lose their efing minds. I don't know. I don't know
what it is about a wedding. I don't know about two people coming together
to proclaim their love for one another till death do they part? I don't
know what about that just causes people to go in san racist sanity. This
was something that I read online. Someone wrote in this is like an advice
column. Okay, and this this person, We're gonna call them too old
for nonsense. That's what they That's what they wanted to be addressed. The
letters that you normally get about weddings sometimes amaze me and also make me laugh.
I am invited to a wedding this month. The wedding is being held
in the couple's backyard, and the invitation says formal. So I'm assuming everyone
I'll be dressed up. The guests will be seated on hay bails covered with
a white cloth. When I questioned this, when I when I questioned this,
I was told, quote, oh, hay baiales are the latest thing
for weddings. The bride is in her fifties. I don't know why that
matters. Yeah, so most of the guests will be fifty years old and
up. Can't you just see us all sitting on hay bails wearing formal attire.
It's going to be interesting. Signed too old for nonsense? I e.
You have lost your damn mind. These people are paying for a huge
party. Yeah, you're gonna put on a nice dress and look good and
go eat and drink for free on their dime, and you're bitching about a
white cloth over some stand. I don't think any thing that you have in
your closet too old for nonsense, cannot withstand sitting on a hay bale covered
in white cloth for twenty minutes. I do like a good back on a
chair, though, so that would be that would be my complaint. I
know I don't have the back of the twenty one year old schmidty anymore.
I totally get that, but like I just what what? And then the
response really quick? Do you know who this woman is? Though she's launching
this huge complaint? Can't handle it? Da da da Someone that shops off
registry and makes you like a birdhouse. That's the wedding guest she is.
She didn't even follow the rules. Not there's something wrong with birdhouses, but
there's a reason they have registries. Yes, spoken from someone that got six
birdhouses. I just think like it's their wedding. Yeah, it's their wedding.
If the hay bales are really like that much of an issue for your
outfit, does I don't have to go like you don't have to go number
one. But also if it's cash well enough to where they're having hay bails
covered in a white cloth. The invitation does say formal, so like they'd
like you to dress up, But I also think since it's at their it's
in their backyard, I feel like you could probably just stand in the back
or like off to the side if you if you don't want to sit on
the hay bail, like writing in on the internet and like questioning this,
can't you just see too old for nonsense calling the bride and being like the
invitation says formal, but we're sitting on hay bails, yeah, or so
I say that were sitting on hay bales even though it's formal, I assume
you will have a few chairs there for some of us to use. I
just the slight suggestions was always my favorite part of the wedding, not not
hey, how's wedding planning? Are you like super stressed out? Hey,
I'm so sorry. Everything's like two to three times more expensive right now in
the time where you're you happen to be getting married, But I'm actually worried
about my outfit at your wedding. Hay bails too well. Plus if it
is a fifty and up crew, and I'm not saying this to be like,
there's probably a few jazzy scooters that will be there. It's dress and
that I just there you go. I can't. And the response was like
even better. These weddings are starting to seem as artificial as drive through Las
Vegas Chapel. I love talking about weddings with you. You this could be
another hotel right into me if you are a bride or a groom and you
are getting married and someone is being absolutely insane. Actually no, this is
my new business. Yeah, telling your guests to shut them up. You
can come and shut up or you cannot come. It's not your asle Alley,
I love it. It's just like it's their wedding. They're paying for
it. If you don't agree with it, don't go. Don't go at
this this to me and I'm I feel like I'm a reasonable person agreed.
So like an unreasonable demand at a wedding, like hey, you have to
buy adult chain and gabana dress and then you have to come to my wedding
and you have to sit in a pile of mud and it's in the mikonos.
I don't think buy your plane ticket. Yeah, I think that that's
unreasonable. I think too old for nonsense. May have had a leg to
stand on if they were demanding she buy adult chain and gabana and then sit
in that in a pile of mud. But like you're gonna you're gonna buy
You're gonna wear pants, You're gonna buy a dress from Amazon. It's gonna
be forty dollars, you're gonna get two days shipping, and then you're gonna
go sit on the hay bail and turn your nose up at it because how
dare how dare they ask you to dress formally and then sit on a hay
bale. Just to bring this back around real quick, I will never fuck
with you as a ghosts. I appreciate that, because I will come back
and I will haunt your relatives for you. If you're a bride and groom.
That's also a service guarantee of not your ile alley, your isle alley.
I'm for the people,