Molly, will you come out and play Smile Day? And this is Molly
May, a bad pas pod another nice stuff with me. It's Molly Me
Hi shibbish, It's Molly May. I'm Molly May. And we're uh guys,
we're doing it. Um. I've missed this, I have missed creating
and sharing and connecting, and here we are, though this time it looks
very different. And before I break down that fourth wall. Um, okay,
so it's no secret by now who Twilight Day is CEO of Matrix Digital
Media and producer of this pod. And if you are new around here and
had to check in and make sure you know who the boss is. So
Twila has invited us who is who are creating at Matriarch to break down the
fourth wall, which is basically conceptual barrier between a performer and their audience.
So I have never been great at honoring the fourth wall anyway, So now
you're you're really gonna get it, and I'm really breaking all the rules and
I'm gonna timestamp this and i'm i'm i'm i'm time stamping this for a marker
and time it's twenty twenty. The shit hole pile of a year on top
of a pile of shit. Um, we are at home. This is
for me. It is day ninety in quarantine land, and where Twilight and
I usually get to stare into each other's eyes when I record. Today we
are in our respectful homes. I have a headset on with a mic because
her magical touch of high quality production equipment would be a disaster in my hands.
That's on her and and so here we are. I have been tasked,
and I'm quite honored to create season two with the charge to support,
educate, and hopefully provide levity to you, a whole lot of fucking levity.
So motherfucker's thanks for coming back, or welcome and welcome not or welcome
and welcome. This season we will kick off every episode with just that,
a little bit of levity by highlighting what joy I have found this week amidst
all the wound piling that's going on around us. It's important to find joy
and to celebrate joy, and to smile and to feel happiness and to let
your giggle fly out. And there's there's always, fucking always another helping of
joy that can be served. I will also highlight what I can't take off
this week that's going to be continued from season one, which is what I
can't take off. This week is a celebration of plus sized fashion and what
feels good and maybe inspire you to get in your closet with new eyes and
fuck some shit up. Orde I will always have a song of the week.
We have a progressive Spotify playlist that we add the song of the week
two. It's Molly May plus no Species because nothing sets the tone like music
and nothing heals like music. So, without further ado, what has brought
me joy this week? There's no doubt that this time is okay. I've
really grown to hate this word because every week something unprecedented happens, but it
truly is. My therapist has added a new diagnosis to my chart of adjustment
disorder. It's very common and honestly, we've all felt its symptoms in the
time of COVID stress, feelings of maybe your you, hopeless and sadness.
And the diagnosis of adjustment disorder basically is reacting stronger than expected for the type
of event that occurred, and there have been many occurrences in these ninety days.
Apparently adjustment disorder goes away usually, you know like I really got on
on web md after our after our video chat check in. That was the
first and I really get into the rabbit hole of web md, and they
say typically adjustment disorder will be adjusted within like six months. So it goes
away, I guess, and is a diagnosis maybe more to denote a period
of time. So I want you to know that you are not alone.
And I want you to know that if you are listening to me and need
to talk about your body, if you're scared of your body, if you've
been brainwashed by diet culture and you don't know how to shuck it, if
you're coping mechanisms and quarantine have changed, I invite you to reach out to
me privately through Instagram. It's so important that we connect as a community during
this time of loneliness. And I connected with the friend last night who shared
a quote with me after he had created such a soft spot for me to
land and be vulnerable with him and let all my emotions out. He shared
this with me from his study of the Buddha. It's just a quick quote.
I'll read it quick. If one takes a small bowl of water and
adds a spoon of salt, to it, the water will become salty,
and no one will be able to drink from it. But if one takes
a spoon of salt and pours it into a clean running river, the waters
of the river will be so vast that the salt will dissolve, and all
will still be able to drink from it and be refreshed. Let your heart
be vast with love flowing from it like a river, so that if someone
injures you, your love will be so great that the injury will simply dissolve,
and all may still be refreshed by the cool waters of your love.
Guys, he sent this to me while I was on a call at work
and I had to mute. I turned into a weepy little babe, and
it was it was I think, the timing of it, and the hope
of it, and the there is a ring of joy to this right,
and a and a reminder to be joy, and a reminder to to awaken
our hearts, and that that our loneliness and our sadness in this time does
not have the authority to strip us of creating our pockets of joy. And
that's my little nugget of joy. I'm a little weepy again. That's that's
like one of those quotes that I need to do something. Put it on
a people, put it on a canvas. I would never But what I
can't take off this week? Um, Honestly, thank fucking God for blue
light glasses. UM. I am now on a computer screen more than ever
before. UM, and my buddy Tie sent me this link for a pair
of tortoise shell cat eyes. They're technically they're cat eyes, but like they're
oversized, not like a sixties cat I but like they're they're a super thick,
bold frame and they're like that, they're the high contrast tortoise you know
what I'm talking about. It's almost like a like a cream instead of a
brown on brown, it's like a cream on brown, brown on cream.
And they just they make me feel like I'm wearing an outfit when I'm on
my computer all day and then facetiming all night and aren't giving me headaches or
eyestrain. I love them and I look cool because Tie is cool. Um,
and that's what I can't take off this week. Your song is Fiona
Apples for her from her quarantine released album Fetch the Boat. Kudas Sorry I'm
not sorry. She released this album in the middle of beginning of corn tweener
time and provided us with that mature gravel that we all needed to pull through.
When I say we all needed I fucking needed it. I needed it.
And also she recorded it all in her home, so like a legit
jam of actual quarantine time, she's in it with all of us. So
now, um a little bit of a reflection and a catch up and promise.
I learned a lot about myself in the process of creating this pod with
Matriarch, and I learned a lot about you. I learned about this inherited
responsibility that I now have that I did not have before because I was just
existing and even as we were recording season one, it was just me talking
into a microphone and it wasn't it wasn't real yet. And then the episodes
started releasing, and I started hearing myself, like actually hearing myself, and
I cried a lot because I was remembering so much shit and so much stuff
that I didn't necessarily catch when we were recording. And now in this space
with you and me, I'm not alone, and fucking I I don't know
what's scarier because there is this inherited responsibility that I feel compelled to and in
the raw honesty of this weird fucking adventure of mental illness and my body and
the relationship with my body in this standardized, beauty obsessed world, this is
now so glaringly full of inequalities and injustices. Have a responsibility as a body
positive advocate to stand up when I see these injustices, and to use my
voice when I see racism, when I hear racism, when I witness microaggressions.
If I am not an advocate of the pressed black indigenous bodies of color,
then I am not a body positive advocate. Then I am not properly
serving this platform. My eyes have been opened to my glaring white privilege,
and I have so much work to do. White women, we have so
much work to do, and we need to sit with that, We need
to digest that we have to and fucking genuinely spend some time looking in and
learning more unlearning and defining our bias and our missteps and the fucked up wiring
that was inherently ingrained in us because we exist in a corrupt and unjust fucking
world. This is lifelong work and I am committed to this work. And
if you are a white woman listening to this, you better fucking be committed
to this work too. This inherited responsibility that I have with this platform was
first shown to me by my aunt holding my hands, thanking me for explaining
what anxiety feels like while tears fill her eyes. To the woman at the
bar who came up to me and said, please tell me where to shop.
I listened to you, and I am excited that I don't have to
shop at Walmart for my clothes. To the girl I met in the beer
garden who sent me a photo of herself in a swimsuit, and the women
who have become my friends and confidence and sharing in our body positive journey.
For you guys thinking about taking twenty minutes to listen to me is it is
very profound, and that's not lost on me. It's it's more motivating than
ever. I'm more motivated than ever to be vocal and to stand up for
my body, and to stand up for your body, and to stand up
for any body so that so that what I'm doing right now doesn't need to
be seen as controversial or on the fringe or something that we just don't talk
about so that I don't have to tell you what I can't take off this
week because you are slathered in your own plus size favorites or like fucking fucking
not even plus size. That is another thing that I've learned that body confidence
is not exclusive to fat people. I've had some powerful fucking conversations, and
body confidence is for all of us, women, fat, skinny, any
fucking ability, any race, any gender. It's for all of us.
But what I'm doing here is more of a fat liberation and an invitation to
live your life and your body without needing to change it through sharing how I'm
doing that and how I'm giving my body permission to exist in this world in
my fat body. So I want to start off this season with a big
fucking moment of gratitude. Thank you, Thank you, thank you for talking
to me, and thank you for your interpretations and your tears and your notes
and your critiques, your questions, your suggestions. I am committed, I
am dedicated. I want to be your soft landing, which is something that
I'm you know, really fucking trying hard to work on being softer, and
I will continue to learn and unlearn so here's the fucking season two chubbish,
let's break down some fucking walls. The fourth wall is broken, the first,
second, third, where are they at twilight? The fifth wall?
Smooth chase, love you, tubbish, and if you've got this far in
the pod, I'm impressed as book and really grateful to have you listening.
If you want to know more information about me or the show, check out
the show page on natriarch dm dot com, where we host all of the
what I Can't take off, our progressive Spotify playlist from the songs of the
week, and obviously the reminder of who to follow for the week, all
in a nice little fucking matriarch digital media bow. Theme song is Molly May
by Ben Karen Like I'll never get overstaying that. It's so good, right,
thanks for listening. You're so cute.