Welcome to Softcore History. What is up? Welcome back to soft Core History.
I am your host for the week, Rob Fox, as always,
I'm joined by Dan Regester and just Dan Register. That's it as he's You're
the only as always, but we do have a special guest this week for
both our main and Patreon episodes. Alex Buscemi Boosh is here. What up,
guys? How you doing? What's going on? Mean? Boy?
Not much man, just uh, you know, happy to be here,
Ready to talk some history. Man. Sad to see Jake go, but
I know he's living off the grid as an oyster farmer now, which sounds
like something you've made up. He's very much listening to this podcast right now.
And you know what, We're gonna do much better without you, Jake.
This podcast is gonna pop off. We're gonna be successful. I'm gonna
shove it in your face. I hope that's every chance we get. I
hope that's the last thing you hear before the shark rips you limb from limb
as you're pulling oysters out of the sand or whatever. I didn't listen to
how it how that works? Yeah, who could say he did an entire
episode on him. I just I just imagine he's on a beach like hoeing
oysters, you know what I mean, Like just just with a hoe,
just pulling oysters out. I'm pretty sure that's how it works. That is
how it Yes, it's on how it works. As I mentioned briefly in
the introduction, we have a Patreon Patreon dot com slash softcore history gets you
two extra episodes a week. For five five dollars a month, you get
two extra episodes a week and at this point like a whole two year back
catalog of evergreen content. This week we're talking about a weirdo from the thirteen
hundreds that just thought he had a right to the throne in England. He
shot a shot he did which completely fabricated things. But find out what happened
to him. Yeah, and then Jake on his way out, try to
figure out who was the better Catholic between me and Rob and uh. People
that have the Patreon subscription know the answer to that, Yes, they do.
Jake, Jake's the best Catholic. I would guess Jake's a better Catholic
than you. Yeah, well he he technically knew more than us because he
wrote he was the game show host. So it's between me and Yeah,
it's between us two. Okay, yeah, yeah. Are you saying that,
uh, somebody that comes from the Jewish faith is actually better Catholic because
they're before us? Is that? Oh? Yes, that's right. Jake
is Jewish? Anything you know, I would say, Dan is well yeah,
even yeah, even the jew is a better Catholic than than Rob.
Me and Rob were both ultra boys. I was an ultraboy bro. I've
been putting robes on since I was eight. That was some of the best
cash ever made. Like funerals and weddings. You you made some cash?
Is like you paid when you yeah, in like fifth and sixth grade.
It's the people who do the funeral or the wedd Like if it's your wedding
or your funeral or like you're you know, someone of your family's funeral,
you pay the altar boys. How much do they pay you to keep quiet
about touching you? Quite a bit? That actually paid for my college,
Yeah, haven't hell, yeah, I got, I just got heaven.
I can make that joke, by the way, because I'm baptized Catholic.
So three Catholics. I think we need to get a different religion in hearing,
we need a little bit more diversity. I mean, even if we
had Gabby on she's also Catholic, it's we just know other Catholics now,
which I do weird for Texas. It's like saying like, oh, it's
weird, like you're from Philly. It's like say like, oh, yeah,
it's weird that my friend Olivia de Nuncio is Catholic now. But when
you think Texas, you don't necessarily think, you know, Mexican Catholic.
You think just jeans and guy playing guitar. Well, uh that other other
Texans think of Catholicism as Mexican, like it was when I first moved here,
and actually especially when I started dating my wife, who's from here and
is not Catholic. Uh, she was like her mom and stepdad were like
Catholic. Uh, that's what, just what all the Mexicans are here.
I think they literally said to me, what's the deal with the Pope?
Well, they think of the Irish as the Mexicans of whites. We are
the yeah we are. Well, I feel like the Italians took that but
till we were the original Mexicans of whites than the Italians took that baton.
The Mexicans took it from the Italians because it's exciting to see who's next.
It is, make it next? Uh who's left? Yeah? Who has
come to America? India? Maybe maybe it'll be, but they gotta be
capful. There's hell of Indians here, not really not compared to Mexicans.
Well in Austin especially, I mean they lump them in with Asians. Yeah,
there's there's they're they're in the richest demographic of America. They are.
It's a teeny demographic. They're not a lot. They're not. Go to
the domain. Okay, go to the domain. I go to my neighborhood.
My neighborhood is full of South Asian people, whether they're pack of Danny
or Indian or whatever. There's gonna be at least like ten percent South Asians.
And no, it's definitely not. It's like five max. Yeah,
five max. Okay, there's only thirteen percent black people. Yeah, the
entire us. Yeah, where's all the white people going? Are you adding
in white people? Though? Because Irish didn't used to be white, Italians
certainly didn't used to be white. The great replacement. Yeah, we're the
white is just the borg they're taking our jeans. Well, we're just we're
just fucking, We're just fucking a bunch of other races. And I know
that's why white's going away. Yeah, you know, it's just grand conspiracy
for white men to be attracted to big booty latinas. I mean, that's
what they're putting in your Yeah. Is that a conspiracy or is that just
truth? You don't even control your own direction. I can't. It's algorithm
tells you what to get hard. It's a Pavlov response at this point.
That's why my Explore page is full of big butts. It's it's the algorithm
is telling me to like that. It's not because I click on it.
Yeah, yeah, it's just making you. Also, by the way,
we have a YouTube if you want to watch this show instead of listen to
it or like we always tell you listen to the show in the car or
at work or whatever. But while you're at work, leave the YouTube on
for your dog and hopefully the algorithm just goes into our next episode. Yeah
yeah, I mean make a playlist for us. Yes, well we have
playlist too. You can put one of our playlists as well and just let
that run through. Leave it on for the dog, Leave us on for
the dog. Whether it's video or not. But YouTube, YouTube dot com
slash that was for the dogs. I don't know. Just search software,
history, search software. You'll see our dumb ass faces. It's fine.
Anyway, let's get into this this week's episode. So you mentioned the Catholic
thing earlier about the competition, and we had a little religion talk. But
this is actually a religious heavy episode because I've been going to church again lately,
though not Catholic church, So I don't really know how much it counts.
I don't really count it if it's not like you could play a basketball
game in there, not at all. Yeah, So I've been going to
an event space every week that holds a Christian rock concert for an hour,
and that's called church around these parts. If there's not an emaciated Jesus Christ,
like horrifying, I don't count it as a church, even if it's
a Catholic church. But it's modern, like I need to think that God
is gonna pop out like the Wizard of Oz, not the man behind the
curtain, the big thing that he's like pulling levers to, you know,
like it needs to feel like that faith it can just appear at any moment.
I also need to at all times think that one of the gargoyles or
crosses above me couldn't pale me at any moment. Yeah, yeah, just
very like the last time the knots were checked where fifty years ago, beautiful
but crumbling architecture. Yeah, and they never like re up or do renovations
because you don't want to kind of mess with the beauty of the original vision.
No, I mean, you don't even want to spackle. Let it
go, let it be what it wants to be. They don't build it
like they used to. Dude. I swear though, when I go into
a modern Catholic church, I just want to look, what's even the point
of you? What is the point of You don't need a fucking mosaic,
not a rock garden. God damn it, dude, some of these that
don't even have stained glass. Oh my God, get out of my face.
Just get the fuck out of here again, what are you doing?
I'm kidding about the church that we go to, though everyone there is super
friendly and that day care for the kids is awesome. I don't want to
talk shit because they're like the nicest people on earth, but they're not the
goddamn do I hate? And they're going to hell? God damn it.
Do I hate a non Gothic church or like Byzantine or Romanesque or whatever?
Just not? I can't. Yeah, anyway, would have would you have
sacked Constantinople? No? Taking down the Byzantine Empire? No? The Roman
Empire? No? Absolutely? In the Fourth Crusade, those people were horrible.
Was that it's weird that they sacked it? At least take it back?
Was that the Middle Ages nine to eleven kind of closest thing to it?
They never forgot And honestly, you leave them intact and you've less of
a problem. Maybe Constantinople doesn't fall four hundred years later and then you got
to deal with the Turks. And but then if they don't sack Constantinople,
we never get a Dracula, that's true. I mean he still is there,
but he doesn't buck as much as he did. Yeah, he doesn't
save the pope. We don't get in paid. Yeah, did you know
Dracula saved the Pope? I've never heard this. We have a whole episode
on how Dracula saved the pope, the impale Dracula, imper Draculas. He
stopped the the Ottoman Muslims, saving the pope. And why did they make
Why did Christians turn the guy that saved him from the Muslims into a blood
sucking monster? I mean that was just Bram Stoker. Ram Stoker, the
first Dracula. Yeah, he wrote jacular. He wasn't the guy who he
didn't invent vampires, but he wrote dracket right yeah, okay, anyway,
he had a brand to keep a Bram, to keep on Bram, very
on Bram. But anyway, I'm an ungrateful piece of shit, So of
course I'm gonna say mean things to entertain people for money are e that church.
But I will say they had a sermon last week and they get really
into the Old Testament, because non and ams are really into the Old Testament.
And the generous way to put this is they need content. Is this
you justifying how poorly you did answering the Bible questions? Now, who's the
better Catholic? Now? Although answering Bible questions is not really a great way
to determine Catholicism. How the guilty you are about things Yeah, a lot
of us don't read the book. It's not a book. We're not really
a we're a spark notes type religion. Yeah, we have our own dogma
to deal with and stuff like how long mysteries the holy mysteries? Like how
how intensely after masturbation? Do you feel guilty like you did? Do you
feel better after you jack off? Or do you feel just an intense guilt?
Check it out during during? Oh, then you've power through anyway.
That's really definitely when you're sitting in your own pud, your own pud,
Yeah, your own pud, just sitting on your stomach. Oh well,
pulling your pud. I always thought pud was the dick, and then it
was pud. Seamen. You know, it's choose your own adventure, jead
whatever you want to. Yeah, so when you just look down, See
what I tried to do is I I've been experimenting where I'll lay a strip
of toilet paper on my stomach and then the jism will just land target onto
the landing pad of toilet paper on my stomach. It improves clean up.
I don't understand people that try to drag off into a sock. Yeah,
that's I did it once. It's it scraped my dick a little bit.
It wasn't. It wasn't very comfortable. You get athletes's foot, Yeah,
that's that's a lot of fungus in socks. No, that's good. That
helps your feet. Give them tea. You inject tea into your toes.
Yeah, helps keep your feet strong. Is that why you just rub semen
on your between your toes every night? Never had a foot problem, Never
had a broken bone in my foot. I broken bones everywhere every part of
my body that semen hasn't touched, broken bones except my face. I've obviously
it'd semen all over my face and I still have broken my face before.
Well somebody broke your face. Yeah, because it was someone else's semen.
That's no good. Oh it wasn't the same night own semen. Uh Yeah,
but b B was before a so to speak, you know what I
mean. It broke your face and then in celebration, Yeah, ejaculated it
didn't it It's too late at that point, right. It was not like
Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade pouring some some uh what do you call it?
Uh? Last crusade? God damn it? What a I'm the worst
fucking Catholic. I can't even think Holy Grail, you pour the water out
of the whole Christ. Dude. Yeah, I'm be ashamed. I'm not
I'm fucking gassed today, dude. Anyway, so they had this sermon and
the guy was like, this is the worst king in the Bible. This
guy is the biggest asshole in the Bible. He didn't use that phrasing,
but this old tesnament king, douchebag, absolute piece of shit, the worst
king. And I'm like, all right, you have my attention. See
what he did. See what this guy did, some gnarly shit in the
Bible. This guy must have been wild. The guy, the king was
named King Nassa. And again it's already a terrible name. Worst Yeah,
yeah, it doesn't know Manassa. Manassa, Yeah sounds like Manassa's Virginia.
All right, that's where I That's what I thought. You're a Virginia native,
right, I am, or from northern Virginia, though not Manasasnova guy,
Manassas. It's like, it's probably further down, don't acts like you
know the fucking East coast. NASA's is uh, I know the battlefield.
Some people might consider Manasa's Northern Virginia, but it's probably more Central Virginia.
Northern Virginia is like its own animal. If there's one thing I want to
be able to lord over Rob, it's being a coastal elite. But you're
not, but I am. You're just coastal. This is the same thing
like if you're on the East coast or west coast, you're a coastal elite
when they're not your poor I know that there's like the I know that that's
what the upper deck of every Eagles game thing. Yeah, when they but
you're not the upper deck of an Eagles gay. True. We couldn't afford
the link because they started charging for those what do they call those license?
Yeah, season like season ticket license. Yeah, and that you were out
the right to buy tickets. You were out after that price to all yah,
fair enough. So Manasa ruled the Kingdom of Judah from six ninety seven
to six forty three. He'd like a fifty five year reign almost. He
died about three hundred years before Alexander the Great was born and was He was
born less than fifty years after the city of Rome was founded to give you
some perspective on the time frame here. According to the sermon and the verses
from the Bible, the pastor was reading in Second Kings and second Chronicles.
Manassa, according to the Bible, did all kinds of fucked up shit,
but mostly he was just a bad jew just a bad, bad Jewish person.
Basically his dad, King Hezekiah, was one of the most beloved kings
in the Old Testament, and that's because he made he banished all the other
pagan polytheistic gods of the region, made them illegal. Was like, we're
only worshiping yahweh. Get the fuck out with your ball and Molloch bullshit?
Did he love in his bread? Who? Manassa? The guy was eating
Hogi's left and right man, piece of shit, putting cheese on it too.
That's not kosher, salami, all kinds of fun up shit. In
order to be kosher, you'd have to only drink. Evan Williams, he's
just drinking whatever whiskey comes from out. What whiskey is not kosher. What
whiskey isn't kosher? All of it. I can't be right, all of
it except Evan Williams. How is Evan Williams kosher, don't ask did you
actually you know there's a lot of uh, there's a lot of booze that
isn't vegan. These pig parts. It's like something about the barrels they're stored
in, like are animal animal fat adjacent or something like that. Like it's
something weird, like it just touched an animal at some point that was in
a cage. It's insane, But there's legitimately, like when you see a
beer and it's like we're vegan. You know, there's some people that they're
Veganism is like they even if their meal is vegan, if it was prepared
in a kitchen where there was also meat, then it's not vegan, which,
by the way, you're still supporting the slaughter of animals like Orthodox shoes.
Is the same way with like the whole kitchen needs to be kosher.
You can't be like, here's your kosher meal as you're cooking bacon like eight
feet away. You're like, no, I didn't touch the bacon. Yeah,
it needs to be in a different fucking building. So vegans and kosher
people are both pains in the ass. Yes, I hope we develop technology
that just projects the pain and suffering that plants go through when you eat them.
You know, plants scream when they're eating. I've heard that. I
am not buying it. It's one hundred per cent tru I don't want it
to be. I hope you get the technology so I can prove me wrong.
I want to I want to hear. I just want to hear grass
being cut. Yeah, I want to. I want to like click a
button on some vegan salad and just you just hear, like I want them
to know. Yeah, that would be a wonderful realization because then like they
might as well eat meat then too, because it's like everything suffers, so
right, yeah, right. If anything, most plants are probably more sentient
than animals. That is a hot take. And it sounds like nonsrong trees
around, for trees are around forever. Are you kidding me yet? But
they don't have brains in your opinion, dude, who knows? They do
kind of talk to each other. I've heard they do, I've read but
whatever. Anyway, Vanassa became king at the age of twelve, and he
was basically like, fuck you, dad, I'll never be like you.
You just just didn't want to be like his dad. You know, he
became king in his awkward emo phase where he was just like, fuck you
dad. That's my theory. So what era is this. This is around
the time that Rome was founded, so like late six hundreds to mid six
hundreds BC. Carthage has been founded already, the Greek city states are getting
up and running. Maybe yeah, four fifty years, three hundred years before
Alexander the Great. So but things are you know, everything this is during
the Assyrian Empire. The Middle East is cooking at this point. So Manassa
is like, I'm bringing them all back, bringing back all the gods,
bringing back fucking ball, fucking Molok, everybody's come aim And I think,
I don't even know. Well, there's a bunch. So this in and
of itself bad, horrible, especially to the people writing the Bible, who
are obviously very pro god. H He also might have lit his son on
fire. May have I think, maybe would you rather light your son on
fire or stab your son? Yeah? I like, so none of this
really justifies why he's a bad Jew. You no, bringing back other gods
to worship and then worshiping the other gods, that was the main thing.
Letting the sun on fire thing they were cool with though, no they weren't
because it was in worship of another god. It was in worship of Moloch.
I think false idols. Yes, he made. Remember when Moses comes
down from the mountain and they're worshiping built a cow like Moses was a little
too long, and they're like, we need a new God. Yep,
he has forsaken us. He's been gone for twelve hours. Built a fucking
cow. They start fucking now worshiping a golden calf. God. Damn it,
I wasn't gone that long. These fifty ten commandments. Yeah, yeah,
he drops it. So Mollick and Ball are I think they're Phooneician gods,
which, uh, I'm they're definitely of the area. I'm pretty sure
sure their Phoenician actually Ball, the god ball fuck? Can we ball?
Well kind of because he is. He's part of the name of one of
your favorite characters in history, Hannah Ball Hannibal means like something like blessing of
ball or blessed ball or something like that. And the Carthaginians ball. The
Carthaginians were founded by Phoenicians, and by the way, the Romans, and
I think the Greeks who used to fight the Carthaginians before the Romans got to
them, would always be like, oh, the Carthaginians are fucked up weirdos.
They light their kids on fire in worship of Molik. So there's Mollik
lighting your kids on fire. Shit spans centuries, which could be a coincidence.
It's just like, Eh, their religion's weird, and they had the
same religion or maybe there's maybe there's more to it, but I don't know.
Did they have a dowry system? They probably fucking know who didn't.
We're like the only ones that don't in history. What is a dowry system?
Uh? In India? Right, So if you have a baby girl
dowery system, you have to essentially pay somebody to marry your daughter. I
mean, they were dowries in America back in the day, I know,
but a lot of like in the fifty sixties seventies, a lot of like
Indian families would just like chuck their babies in the fires because they don't want
to do it. They don't have a daughter, they couldn't afford it.
You had to pay to get them married, and if they were like really
ugly, it costs more probably probably more like but if she's a dime,
it's like she's like sick or yeah, she's like a shoddy it's like,
oh, you don't have to pay as much to make I'll still have to
pay though, And so actually an inheritor of that, a descendant of that
tradition is the girl's family paying for the wedding. Oh so like that's more
Western. Yeah, we kind of make it more digestive. Well we kind
of. Now that's not the dowry situation existed like not that long ago.
Like for sure in the what post United founding in the United States, there
is still a dowry situation. How do you think an arranged marriage will go
for you? For me? Yeah, I think it would work out.
No, what do you mean, like could I make it work or would
you want to make it work? I just feel like I I you don't.
Personality doesn't count for much when you're trying to do a political marriage.
So I would probably get fucked and just have someone terrible. You gotta marry
somebod for a bridge, dude, Yeah, to a lie to families get
get their army, their standing army. I mean, I guess at that
point. That's why Rob Stark died back then. Like marriage, it's like
you you know, you get your wife that you're required to marry for the
army, but then you can like bang all the all the servants. It
doesn't matter. I guess. You just see her and you're like, well,
goulna bang a lot of whores. There's gonna be a lot of prostitutes,
or she's great and you're like, oh, you come to an agreement.
It's a few prostitutes, yeah, or you yeah, or you like
you strike the deals like damn, I suck, but like I you just
got matched with the hottest chick ever. Hell yeah. That is like a
funny thing that you see. You always see that in like movies and TV
and stuff. It's like the chick gets screwed. It's like some like normal
or hot shake like lump of a dude and they're like, oh no,
it is the arrange marriage sucks for her. That was a thing I think
in Game of Thrones when Rob Stark was gonna have his arranged marriage or whatever
with the Fray and his uncle ends up with like a pretty decent looking yeah,
but he was worried on her. He was he was like looking down
the line. He was like, oh my fucking god. No, no,
no, no, no, no, nothing to work with. Yeah,
yeah, people don't. People don't ever think about our end. No,
that's true. A lot of people don't think about the guy's perspective.
Sad because as three men on the podcast, it's sad. This is another
attack on masculinity. We don't have enough of a voice. So he was.
He did a lot of pagan stuff, man acid did it all,
brought it all back. Whatever. He also, according to the people who
writing the Bible, was an oppressive and murderous asshole, killed a lot of
people. This, of course pissed off God, who uh proceeded to say
some pretty metal ship. He said, I will wipe Jerusalem as a man
wipeth a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down, which will be
sick if he actually did that sounds so bad though, No, it doesn't
sound good, dumb. I'd be sick if he actually just picked up Jerusalem
and then just wiped it into the ocean. But he didn't. What if
God was just lazy and he just placed a dirty dish into the dishwasher.
Yeah, he's just like Jerusalem is still there. I'm letting it soak.
It's like, oh, is this a cast iron? Yeah? Put it
in the dishwasher. Yeah, go soak for a It all cleans the sand.
Yeah, it's fine, fucking fine. So God did this elect A
lot of people don't know that you can put anything in the dishwasher. It's
a dishwasher. Why would I do it manually with my own hands? Sorry,
I'm embracing technology. I'm embracing the future. Do you take your laundry
and running over a washboard before you put it in the laundry machine? No,
you crap your pants and you throw it right in. I throw all
that shit into the anything that's like, you know, bigger than a grain
of rice, I'll just feed it to the the fucking disposal, the driver's
disposal. The kitchen sarlac must be a pee, especially because I'm a renter
too, So I dude, I'll I'll fucking I'll take your fucking problem.
I'll take a whole cup of grease, pour it right down that thing.
Don't. I won't even let it run, let it sit coffee downs.
Just what can't this garbage disposal destroy? That's what we're gonna find out.
Yeah, and it goes pretty quick. So that's the maintenance guy's problem.
Exactly what are we paying you for? What am I paying at all?
Like two x what this apartment is worth. It's for me to fuck up
the garbage disposal, yeah, not for you to give me a lecture about
how you shouldn't put an entire red potato down it. That's your weak ass
garbage disposal's fault. Get something better. And by the way, the maintenance
man doesn't care either. Oh he doesn't. Yeah, he's just like,
shit, fuck it up. Huh. Okay, he's most likely high.
Yeah. So God, according to the Bible, allegedly did fuck up Jerusalem.
He sent the Assyrians to fuck up Jerusalem and the Kingdom of Judah.
Kingdom and Judah. At this point, Israel and Judah have been separated by
a civil war, and Israel's already been wiped out by the Assyrians. But
God sends the Assyrians to fuck Judah up, and they absolutely allegedly do.
If you know anything about the Assyrian Empire, they are assholes. Like Babylon
in Egypt are kind of the big Bads of the Old Testament. And obviously
Rome is the big bat of the New Testament, and Persia is a you
know, murderous gay pride parade in three hundred. But they're actually pretty chill
in the Bible. But Assyrians were worse than all of them. I mean,
they were fucking psychos. They just scorched earth on everything, kill everyone.
What I mean, they're fucking lunatics. It's weird the Isis doesn't embrace
that culture. Then I know they destroy it. Whether they're not Muslims,
why it's the only doesn't matter. They're still you know, it's they're the
roots spiritually, even though they don't intend to. They certainly do a lot
of Assyrian things. Oh yeah, but it's kind of kind of a dick
moved to just blow up Assyrian monuments and I know, columns, and come
on, you're doing all their stuff. You're doing all the Assyrians. Maybe
that's why they're just trying to like jack their swagger. They are swagger jacking,
and the Assyrians I don't appreciate it. Allegedly, the Assyrians kidnapped Manessa,
put him in chains and prison him, and then he repents and God
accepts and it freed and things end happily. Ever after we all love God,
blah blah blah. So I hear all this story, this is roughly
the story from the Bible and what the pastor's saying, and I'm like,
obviously, I gotta go home and google this guy. It's fascinating to me
from a historical standpoint, and turns out situation is a little more complicated outside
of the Bible. Now do I fault the Bible for this? I do
not, because the Bible only cares about religion. So somebody keep in mind,
like when you when you're like, oh, well, the Bible doesn't
take this other historical stuff into They don't care about politics, they don't care
about geopolitics, they don't care about anything other than God in the Bible.
Are you making God happy? Or are you not meaning God happy? That's
all the fucking Bible cares. Or maybe you blame the messenger that you heard
it from. The guy in the blue like checker gingham shirt with pearl snaps,
probably had a bolo tie. Nah, wasn't that good? You can
dress up. That's for holidays, Yeah, holidays only it's bolow tie and
boots. They even wear boots, had new balances on. Yeah, this
is a tennis human gene kind of day. Maybe even a T shirt I
don't remember, but again, just for the job, a nice T shirt,
just for the Lord. That's what I say. Put on some robes,
some Sarah, it's just yeah. Uh So let's give a little background
on what was actually going on outside of God stuff. First off, God
didn't send the Assyrians. The Assyrians were already fucking there. Judah was a
client state of the Assyrians even before Manassa got the thrown during the reign of
Hezekiah. This means politically they were Assyria's bitch like. Assyria was basically like,
Okay, we just fucked up Israel pretty hard. We can come in
and fuck you up, but we rather that's gonna cost us money to and
then we're gonna have less tax revenue because we got to kill so fucking many
of you. So let's just acknowledge that we can kill so fucking many of
you, but we don't want to just pay. We don't want to have
to pay to do it and lose maybe some troops also, So why don't
we both just save ourselves a lot of trouble and you just ben the fucking
knee and Judah is like, yep, I agree, sure. Actually I
don't even think this happened during the reign of Hezekia. I think it was
before that, Hazekiah just inher it's that situation as well. So the Assyrians,
though, are having a little bit of a downturn as an empire.
Nothing horrible, I would actually say it was. It would almost be similar
to like what America is going through today, right, like we're still hilariously
the most powerful economic and military force in the world. Like, it's not
fucking you see, we just found like so much lithium underneath Pennsylvania. Yeah,
that we could support forty percent of our needs. Yes, yeah,
oh yeah, it's fucking we just yeah no, we just kind of like
stumble upon resources. I mean, were the size of a continent. Not
surprising. What's surprising is how little China has or like Australia, we also
just don't use them, right, we're just kind of sitting on them.
We're hoarding our resources. Well, we're making more oil than ever before,
right we were drill baby, drill right now we can though we can afford
to do that. Yeah, god damn right, yeat. Oil prices are
higher than ever, it makes no sense. Mm hmmm. Perhaps some price
fixing, Yeah, there might be some. Remember the early days of COVID
where you could literally just go get a crude barrel of oil and they would
pay you. Yeah, thank you. My cousin had a funny joke about
that, because he works in the oil industry. He was basically like,
he's like, I got went into work one day and they were like,
well, a barrel of oils down to X price. The good news is
it can't drop below Why I forgot what it was. It can't drop below
like because of the price of the barrel. Yeah, the barrel, the
basement, of the basements, whatever the barrel costs, like, it can't
drop below the price of the barrel. So we're good to go. But
depending on what the barrel's made of, maybe on any given day that price
drops. Yeah, absolutely so. Judah is a client state of Assyria.
A serious got a bit of a downturn. And I'll just say it like
that, like the United States right now, right, it's like, oh,
it's your OIDs, dude's cool up soon. It was just it's just
you and you know it, duds. No, but it certainly it's a
little chaotic here, right, So Judah in Egypt see the chaos in Assyria,
and they're like, you know what, I think we could take them.
I think we can take them. Got a few drinks in them,
started hyping up their boys, Yeah, start talking you fuck them. And
then and they're like, you know they're gonna come to us too. We're
playing a home game. Fuck them, because obviously they're not gonna project force.
They're not gonna go attack Ninevah or something. They're gonna sit back and
be like, come and get us. Fuck you, fucking We're not paying.
We're not paying. Fuck you, I'm not paying. I'm not super
familiar with the terrain of Judea. It's kind of uh, they're mountains of
Judah. Yeah, Like so Judah southern Israel. So I have no idea
the landscape about like Israel. And I think Israel's kind of like oddly diverse
for how small it is. Like there's some parts that are Mediterranean and some
parts that are desert. Okay, Like I have a better understanding of Afric
Khanistan. What all one fucking big mountain desert. It's not really all desert
though, it's Yeah, there's a lot of mountains. Yeah, I mean
it's all up in the funk mountain. So they decided to heat check and
rebel against the Assyrians. Uh. Judah was also doing very well at the
time, so Hezekiah, like I said, decided to you he'd get away
with Uh. He made a defensive pack with the Egyptians, who were also
under the Assyrian that the Assyria had conquered Egypt. Even so Assyria, by
the way, it's fucking no joke. So Egypt and Judah get together and
they're like, fuck you. The Assyrians come in hot this is under Hezekia's
reign, that is Manassa's dad. They fuck Judah up. They beat They
just I forget what the fort's called. They sacked their most powerful fort.
They sacked city after city after city. They get to Jerusalem where Hezekiah and
the other Judaeans, Jews whatever are behind the walls, and the Assyrians sit
there and you know, besiege them. They don't go in. Hezekiah surrenders.
Both sides claim victory though, because they're like, oh, they didn't
take Jerusalem, and the Assyrians were like, we pen them up and they
gave in, and we fucked up the whole rest of their country Assyria one.
Let's be fucking honest, but the Bible says Heekaia one's bullshit. Anyway,
the Assyrians never sacked it. But man, they fucked up the whole
country. I mean they fucked up. Like imagine if let's just say Texas,
right, Like if someone invaded Texas and for whatever reason, we were
able to fortify Dallas or Houston, whatever the most economically valuable city is,
but the rest of it they just ripped to shreds. And then we're like,
fuck. Yeah, Hezekiah dies, Manassa takes the throne. He's twelve
years old. The country's in ruins except for Jerusalem. This is now a
twelve year old's fucking problem. The economy is fucked the entire country except the
capital, which, to be fair, is the biggest economic engine. But
the whole rest of the country is just set on fucking fire. There is
a twelve year old's fucking problem. Now he is a bad Jew on top
of that. Yeah, it sounds like Hezekiah is the bad Jew in economically.
But Manassa and his government do the unthinkable. They try not to piss
off the Assyrians, the people who just beat the shit out of them and
burn their whole country down. They think maybe we should make them happy.
That's oh solid. The gangster that came in and just like shot us in
the kneecaps, we should potentially make an arrangement with them so they don't kill
us. Yeah, the unthinkable, coward, absolute piece of shit. So
doing this involves several things. He makes sure to pay the Assyrians whenever they
ask, and even pay them more and all that stuff. Assyrian records list
Manassa among twenty two kings who provided materials for the Assyrian kings building projects.
He also turns around and helps the Assyrians fight the Egyptians, offers forces to
get Egypt back under control, all this stuff system Yeah, I mean you're
adding I don't even know farm systems. I'm trying to think of a sports
analogy for it. But he just he adds supplemental troops to them, you
know what I mean. Maybe it's not the most important stuff, but it's
like Australia being like, oh hey, shit, right, we'll send a
thousand gods to Afghanistan. That's problem. Also, these maps to say Australia
never lost a war. Bullshit. Yeah, the birds. They lost.
The fucking birds not even as big as ostriches. It's pathetic. Do you
know that the war? Yeah, yeah, it's always like a fun fact
that people gloss over. But they they lost the war. War. Yeah,
it's just because they couldn't kill them right like they did. They didn't
have enough bullets. They ran out. Yeah, they just they got over,
they got swarmed. No, you know, the birds were actually gunning
them down to just I would what's even the point of using guns. Just
get a just get a line of trucks and just drive fucking through them.
They're not faster than a truck. Yeah, that that had to be more
of a fuck it. It was a resources. They're just a lazy people,
for being honest, They just didn't want it bad enough. They truly
didn't. So they do all this in hopes of being named I guess a
most favored nation by the Assyrians means you kind of get more stuff. Uh
the Assyrians give you more economic support, I guess, uh, give you
more trade rights, that type of thing. They wanted to be essentially get
more resources from the Assyrians as a client state by giving them more, you
know, give more, get more, I guess and that works. They
become a most favored nation of the Assyrians, and he uses the resources he
gets to rebuild Judah's rural economy because again, the Assyrians have burned the whole
fucking thing down, just fucked up the entire countryside. However, it wasn't
just resources alone, according to archaeologists and historians, he had to make deals
to help rebuild the countryside as well, to get the people in the rural
areas to do what Manassa needed them to do. And so you gotta make
deals. It's a quid pro quote, right, Like, you can't just
I mean, I guess he could try to just walk in there, put
a sword to their head and be like, fucking do this. But it's
easier to get people to agree with right. It's easier to make a positive
deal than a negative deal. Was he a closer? He was a closer
closed dude. Man, this sounds like a pretty good king so far.
Like his dad got everything burned down and he's doing his best to rebuild it.
Yet the people saw him as a bad Jew anyway. Well, the
people writing the Bible. People writing the Bible, why do people write in
the Bible have against the skuy trying to rebuild his country bias because message in
order, you got to tear this man down for how great he was.
Haters. He probably caught thirty four counts. This is the second Book of
Haters, not the second Book of Kings. Part of the deal supposedly based
on archaeological research and something like that is he was like, if you do
what I ask you to do, like the ways to rebuild the economy or
whatever, I will relegalize worship of ball mollock, whatever you're into. You
know what I mean, whatever you want do it, I'll let you worship.
And yeah, wah too if you want to worship, oh way,
whatever, But I will relegalize your other gods. So that's why the Bible
looked unfavorably on him. He's like, it doesn't matter if you rule up
the country, if you're freedom of religion, that's not going to fly.
He also allowed those gods to be worshiped in the temple in Jerusalem, how
dare he? Which was a huge fucking no not to the people writing the
Bible. So these gods started to be worshiped everywhere every corner of the empire
or the kingdom. That wasn't an empire. Ball and Mack were worshiped in
other parts of the Assyrian Empire, but in Judah they were illegal, and
then they became legal again. They got put back in the temple. I
guess, probably do it Pete. Maybe he got over sold, Maybe he
got took too much, you know what I mean, Maybe he could have
kept him out of the temple. But according to the Bible, and there's
no reason to not believe this part is Manassa also took part in worshiping these
other gods. Like he was like, yeah, check it out, see
what's up, Like me going to a non anomius mom fucking Catholic Like yeah,
sure, I mean the pope, I know, the pope's angry at
me. Well, he's just trying to put in face to you know,
he's got to get them to, you know, do farming again. So
he's like, yah, I'll show up at your church, ye, just
to you know, make you guys happy. It seems just like good politics.
In my opinion, I think it probably was good politics. Although he
might have still lit his son on fire, I'm not sure had to because
he angered his own because that was as far as I can tell So this
is why I think it might be true, because again, this could just
be normal slander at the time, but this like pervades several hundred years.
But the Romans and Greeks, like I said, talk shit on the Carthaginians
for worshiping Molik by saying they threw their firstborn kids into fire as a sacrifice,
right, that's part of Moloch worship, and the Bible several hundred years
before that is saying the same thing. There's no reason to believe that the
Greeks or Romans this is all pre Christ. This is like two hundred to
four hundred years before Christ, five hundred years before Christ are saying the same
shit, which is, oh, yeah, dude, they throw kids in
the fucking fire. They're fucked up down. Why did Manassas throw his kid
in the fire to worship Mollik? Yeah, be like, yeah, dude,
I'm fucking about it hardcore. Everyone knows you're only supposed to act like
you're gonna kill your first born child, not supposed to do it. Yeah,
then God's stops you at the last second. He's like, whoa,
I was just I was just seeing That's how you know, moll isn't real
because Mollic didn't pop out and out Egyptian. If you're Egyptian, your first
round's getting got because you didn't put fucking Lamb's blood on your door. True,
so one thing. So he did all that. But the Judaean economy
rebounds massively. Uh. This led to an explosion in the olive oil trade
in Judah, brought a ton of money. In the economy rebounds. Everyone's
doing pretty well. There is a big economic disparity apparently, but like this,
so there are still, I guess, very poor people. But like
I said, poor people back then worked less hours than rich people now.
True, they had a better better than they had better working conditions. Yeah,
certainly. Did you know just because they had the winters off because they
couldn't grow anything. Did you actually know that homeless people today right now have
more free time than you if you have a job. Think about that.
Think about how fucked up capitalism is, dude. That's why a lot of
homeless people are homeless. They're like, I don't want to fucking go to
work. I just want to fucking do drugs and live in a tent.
Like we pay hundreds of dollars to do that at music festivals. They're like,
we can do this all the time. It's free, bro, Yeah
what do you guys do it? And if you're on enough drugs, you're
at a music festival. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, anything can be
a music vessel that you want it to me. You just hear music in
your head. Twenty four to seven they have Bonau without the stage. Basically
it's just tens and drugs. Now, dude, they have the stage too.
I like, there's like this forest around my apartment complex and there's hella
homeless people just living in a camp there yea, And they have a drum
set out there. They have a guitar out there, Like, I'll hear
drum solos at Like a lot of Boston musicians are homeless. These are just
these are just homeless people part of the world. Yeah, even the homeless
have a show. That's what they mean by a live music capital. Like
yeah, yeah, there's no where you can't go, Like you're trying to
go to sleep and some guy just walks into your room and we'll put on
a show and you have to deal with it because you're in the live music
capital of the world. He's like, you have to tip him five buckskin
and go away. He's like, I'm gonna play Wonderwall again. I'll do
it. Take this drive and get out of here. Take your fiance,
like we're going to a real Austin show. It's in the woods. It's
in the woods. Just you might step on a needle. But it's fine,
it'll be fine, it'll be worth it. I saw another guy the
other day with a shiner as he was carrying his guitar. He must have
had a bad show. Yeah, like a black eye in a black eye
and his guitar beer. Well, no, he was also carrying a beer
in hand, but he had a shiner under his eye and he's carrying his
guitar on his back. Although actually I want to bring back this sort of
like roadhouse situation where the band has to play behind chicken wire because if you
don't like one of the songs they're playing, you can just hurl a beer
bottle at them. Yeah, not beer bottles, but let's go tomatoes.
I don't know, I like beer bottle. Maybe a cabbage obviously, fruit
and vegetables, but why not a beer if you really don't like the song?
I just yeah, I just want to have one, you know,
like open a bar where the whole gimmick is you give people fruit and tomatoes
to throw if you don't like it, especially with the that would be a
stand up scene. Yeah, blowing open mic, but the crowd gets tomatoes.
Yeah. Why hasn't somebody done that show with the Mothership? Yeah,
I don't know. You can't. You'll never win an argument with a heckler
that way. You know which long mothership too woke comedian owns comedian owns heckler.
Not at my bar, you're getting a tomato. Yeah, fucking dick,
dude, fucking bar. There was also a lot at Steak for Manassa.
Like I said, if he he needs to make these Syrians happy,
because they will come and fucking crush you if they you're not doing what they
need you to do. So he didn't fuck around, And this is where
some complaints about him might be legit, because he really did persecute the fuck
out of anyone who was like, you're not holy, So all the prophets
and anyone. This is at the same time as the prophet Isaiah, like
the most famous prophet in the Bible, all the prophets and stuff like that,
who were like, fuck you, dude, Baul, are you kidding
me? Or any other really devout Jew he would just kill them. Allegedly
the streets of Jerusalem ran red with the blood of the pious or something like
that. But he was just like, do you know who's up there?
It's a fucking assyrians man, and I will fucking kill you before they fucking
kill me. Damn. At least that's what I think. Or maybe he
was a dick. I don't know. I follow that that tracks uh.
So he did straight up brutally persecute them, blah blah, brought pagan god
back into the fold, and also might have let his son on fire.
Who knows. You know, you drink too much wine. You're like,
we do, check out this mallock shit. So did he or did he
not? I think he did so he killed him regardless like whether or not
he let him on fire. Did he kill him, I don't know.
If he didn't lit him on fire, he probably didn't kill him. He
does have an air though, I don't know if that's his firstborn son or
not. In fact, he probably didn't kill his first born son. Fucked
this, oh he also it just sounds like Christian slander, well, Jewish
slander that Christians adopt the same way. We, for some reason, two
thousand years later, still like basically parrot propaganda about Caesar because Caesar's side won,
So like Augustus needed Caesar to be legit in order to make himself legit.
So we're like, yeah, Suessar was great. He was great.
I think Caesar might have deserved to get stabbed. I feel like most people
think Caesar deserved to be stabbed. I think they don't. I think they
think he's What did Caesar do? Wasn't he great? He just had had
some bad, bad friends. No, he was trying to get absolute power,
right, Yes, he was seeking absolute power. He was seeking to
be dictator for life because he wanted. I didn't do an episode on him.
He was going on like this one specific part of him. But their
Senate essentially like fuck y'all rule. And now, granted, it's not like
he overthrew some sort of American republic democracy where most people had suffrage and could
vote. Right, it was still ruled by rich people. It was,
but it was more of a republic than Yeah, but he was only stabbed
twenty three times, right, So it's like that. That means not every
senator stabbed in. I mean he was probably already the twenty three probably did
the job. They know they didn't need him at that point. Everyone needs
to buy in half fascinating. I mean, at some point dead you're in
this three hundred to five hundred senators, So like, at some point there's
just a line and you are stabbing a dead guy. It's kind of don't
you want to get a stab in? I would if I mean, you're
just stabbing a dead Caesar at this point. But one point, early in
his life or like he was already big, but he wasn't dictator for life
yet. At one point he allegedly I think this might be true, he
was in front of a statue of Alexander the Great and he wept because Alexander
had done so much more than him at a younger age. This guy just
wanted power. He wouldn't be remembered forever. Aren't you on record saying Alexander
owes everything to his father. Yeah, well, Caesar was remembered forever,
but he's synonymous with getting stabbed in the back. That he's awesome. Even
people stabbed in front too. He get stabbed everywhere. I think, oh,
he's got to find a hole or like a good running back, you
make your hole. They made plenty of holes, every hole imaginable, real
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a funny definitely anti Manassa propaganda that Isaiah the prophet was his grandfather not true,
and uh Manassa was just such a dick that he was like, yeah,
you like God, how's this for liking God? And he had him
sod in half like that. Now, so he's a magician, yeah he
was. Well they did the first part of the act. It's like shit,
I never learned the second. There was no prestige. No, no,
there was no It was just like toda, your dad. Well,
Jesus wasn't around to invent magic. That's not a fun trick. It's not
well, it's fun for Manassa, but not for Ah. You are right,
Jesus was the first magition. Yes, Jesus didn't invent magic. Record.
Yeah, that was actually another thing that the Jews, the really devout
Jews of the time, really hated Nassa four that he got really into and
I actually this is fine. He got really into like astrology and that makes
sense back then and like soothsaying went to fortune tellers all kinds of shit like
that. Sooths saying that's like manipulating people with words, right, I don't
know. I think that's like every culture had like a seer or they would
go get kind of advice from some freak. Yeah, yeah, just some
eccentric old guy who's like, oh the uh, I spit on this ant
and it drowned. Typically it would be some guy on a mountain that had
leprosy. Yeah, it's just like he's wise. He's just because he's deformed.
Yeah, I wonder how they h wonder how they fanangled that you just
put an old hermit on a mountain and then tell someone like, yeah,
he knows what's up? Look how look what a freaky is that guy?
Good lord, he must be wise and smart because it isn't oft himself yet.
Yeah, what else does he have? It has to be that.
I don't know. There's like forty ugly weird guys in the alley and we
don't listen to them at all. They don't have they don't have drinkets.
Man, Yeah, they don't live on the mountain. This guy lives in
a mountain. He's got a bunch of weird trinkets and ship that smells funny
when you burn it. They probably just had like weed or something. They
get people high, Like on the mountain, he's got like a weed plant
and he'd get he'd get the king high. Oh yeah, they're just so
gassed from climbing the mountain that you're like, you're just like a little lightheaded,
and the guy's like, you know, you see, the guy just
says something and you're like, oh my god. Obviously this is like a
thousand years later, but I mean, that's how the Order of Assassin started.
They just got a bunch of young kids high on hushish. That's what
Assassin means is hushish men on his sheish. Really yeah, stoned dudes,
So stoner bros. Stone killers, stone cold killers, stone cold killers,
stoned cold killers. Fucking But that was kind of the appeals that he would
you would have the greatest night of your life during recruitment night, you get
super high. He'd bring in a bunch of women, you'd fuck him.
It was supposed to be like this vision of paradise, right, and then
he's like, well that'll wait too. If you were in my order,
you just kill a bunch of dudes for me. Pretty much. Now there's
another theory on Manassa. This is the last part that he was actually the
pious conservative and he was defending the faith of the region from his dad,
who was a yahweh only like fringe guy who was like, you know what,
fucking God yahweh, only fuck everyone else. It seems like a hard
liner that doesn't seem fringe. Well you're not fringe, yeah, but you
know what I mean, Like, well, fringe in that fringe would be
making everything else illegal. Like that's a fringe idea. It's yahweh or the
highway pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, So after reading all that, I
appreciated the added context of like, hmm, he might have had some reasons,
might have had some might have had some uh, some reasons for uh
letting people do other stuff in his little kingdom. Seems like he just didn't
want to die. Yeah, it's a pretty good reason. People get real
pragmatic with a gun to their head. Yeah. No, I mean the
Assyrians essentially had them by the balls when you want them to do. And
it's and his dad, the one that the Bible loves, was like,
well, I'm just gonna I'm gonna rebel against this psychotic empire because we've had
a good couple of years and I don't know, they seem like they're they're
down a bit of a heat check. Yeah, it was an absolute heat
check. And the Assyrians squatted that shit into the fifth row. They weren't
even in the same league. No, no, And then his dad died
and this twelve year old's like, all right, well every farm in the
whole fucking country's been destroyed. Yeah, like, how are you gonna shoot
on a twelve year old for being afraid? Well, to be fair,
he ruled his whole life. He ruled for like fifty five years, but
he got it when he was twelve. Yeah. Did he get more aggressive
later? I don't know when he started doing this or was he always bitch
made? Maybe he was as always bitch made. I don't know, but
yeah, that is uh, that's all I got for day, for today
on the alleged worst king of the Bible. I don't know. Think his
dad might, Uh, I have a claim to the Delta shithand dude,
Yeah, Delta shitty hand had to do what he had to do. I
don't know. All the men wanted to cut a baby in half. That's
smart. He's playing forty chess, I think he. I think he just
actually wanted to cut a baby in half to see what would happen. Well,
one of the chicks was down, so he could have gone either way.
Did you need he needed the full two O vote? The chick that
was down though probably should have gotten the baby. The one who did want
it cut in half. Yeah, because she was willing to share the baby.
That's true. Sharing means, Yeah, that's what I do with my
kids. If they don't share, If one wants to share, the other
doesn't, the other one gets the whole fruit bar, and then I cut
the other one in half if the child at the bar, Yeah, yeah,
yeah, that makes sense. Though. It was a nice misdirection right
there. Uh what'd you guys learn today? Really? Not much, dude.
I knew all this, like, yeah, obviously as a good Catholic,
right that if you burn your firstborn son alive, that you won't be
remembered favorably. Apparently. No, I learned today that I might be worshiping
Ball soon. I might just go old school go hand Ahball, not just
bald dude. Should we call you Hannibal? No, because Hannibal's I don't.
He's a little overrated, Okay at this point, just after for further
review. He never really won a war, So can you really be a
goat? Yeah? He ain't got no rings. Yeah, he's a bit
like Ryan Day at this point. Sure, why not? I think he's
a little bit higher than Ryan day, but fair what happened with this king,
like did he see in the country. Allegedly, Hannibal is like the
Charles Barkley of generals, that's fair. Allegedly he was taken to Assyria or
to Babylon by the Assyrians because they were like, hey, we think you're
fucking around, and they put him in chains and he repented to God,
like please save me, God, and God saved or whatever. There's no
record of that. That's probably made up by the writers of the Bible.
So what happened to him is he ruled and died and his son took over.
His son Aimen also not well liked by the writers of the Bible.
But Amon's son Josiah very well liked by the writers of the Bible because he
reoutlawed non Yahweh worship in Judah. Cool and did Judah ever, like regain
its lands that were destroyed or they were a client state the whole time of
the Assyrians. Okay, so they were technically, you know, like a
client state. It's like it's like the mafia taking protection money from a business,
right they're not They're not running the business. Yeah, right, they
just come to collect. And that's how Judah was. Like they weren't they
weren't necessarily doing administrative work on Judah, but they were just like, hey,
you know, I mean we can, we can come in and take
everything if you want, but it's easier for both of us if you just
pay up. There we go. And then eventually Judah falls to the Babylonians
ultimately, So it was kind of like paying taxes, except they didn't do
any infrastructure help or anything. It was just like just pay to not get
fucked. Uh. They did a little bit, like I said, if
maybe not like I'm speaking totally out of turn here because I really don't know,
but they certainly, like I said, if you became a favored nation,
if you were like a client state that they really liked, they would
hook you up. Okay, But I don't know that they would necessarily do
that for everyone, Okay, But it is in their interest to make the
client states like them by doing things like providing infrastructure, for an example,
because a it's easier to rule someone who's willing to be ruled, and B
there's certain things that they get. Obviously, it's easier to collect tax money
cheaper to collect tax money because there you don't have to put your thumb on
them. Just want to easily integrate them, kind of like the Persians did,
right. And another reason too is if you've got to go fight somebody
else, they're more likely to give you troops with you right, right right
if you know. So there's there there is an incentive for the Assyrians to
be good, decent stewards. It's more so because I still have to rule
them at the end of the day, right, you still got to collect
your money, and it gets expensive to collect that money if you got to
keep sending troops in and ship like that. Who's today's Hitler. A lot
of people would say the Assyrians. I would not say that, though,
I'd say probably his father. His father was like, oh, let's try
He tried to take over everyone. That's we didn't try to take He just
basically tried to get Judah's independence. But he did it a little too uh
foolishly, foolheartedly, you know what I mean, kind of just went in
got in over his head. That's very Hitler esque, Like that's kind of
you know, that's what Hitler did. It'd be like if Sam Adams led
the Colonial army. Yeah, yeah, just everything they give him the power.
Yeah, everything's a bayonet charge with that guy, you know what I
mean, it's just head first. Yeah, can't be doing that ship.
Well, that is all I got for today, real quick. I wanted
to say something. We normally don't do this, but one of our listeners,
Hayden Faust, his brother recently died tragically. They have a go fund
me. The guy's a kid, Titus Fouse. All right, sorry,
Titus Fous is his other brother. Hyatt is the guy who died. His
brother tragically passed away. I'm gonna link to go fund me in the episode
description. Obviously, Hayden and the whole family's really broken up about it,
really tragic thing. So the go fund me me in the description. If
you can help, it's for his brother's daughters, like college fund. They
got fifteen hundred to the five thousand dollars raised so far. If you can
help out with that at all, that'd be great. Not totally understand,
but I thought he just was super broken up about it. We were dming
about it, and you know, I wanted to help him out anyway I
could try to help anybody in the softy community pretty much exactly that. Hayden's
a good dude. He actually works for u AB's athletic department. He's like
a Go Blazers. Yeah, but yeah, if you can help out with
that, I will. I will link that go fund me. Also again,
patreon dot COM's Last Softcore History for two extra episodes a week plus you
get access to the discord where you can join the community of listeners. Yes,
god damn right, you can YouTube softcore History. Check it all out.
I also want to shout out Matthew Correa. Oh yeah, bought us
some really dope office chairs for our normal day job. So we'll be behind
the producer desk for dB in these four figure gaming chairs, which are dope
with a little Lamborghini. I got a some Lamborghini kind of like sea cushion.
It's not a seat cushion, it is lumber supportmbar lumbars for yeah,
dude, those are the gamer chairs. Are the are the best, man
like, they they've they've surpassed regular office chairs as far as comfortability and lumbar
support. Go. So, I don't want to say he's like currently our
favorite listener, but but he did buya stuff. He did he did so.
I mean, if you want to kind of move up the ranks,
we're just saying money buys all of our affection. We are for sale Patreon
dot com last software history. Yeah again, five dollars a month, or
if you want to be a baller, maybe a shot collar. We got
one hundred dollars tear for no reason. We we absolutely do. Uh that's
all I got for damn Jester, Boosh, thanks so much for being here.
We got a Patreon episode coming out Thursday on what was again? What
Are Your Weird Day? Petroon comes out Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday and Friday.
Yeah, that's right, that's right, And it used to be Thursday.
Nope, it's used to be Thursday, but we moved it to Wednesday.
Uh, you're just totally out of pocket there. Yeah yeah, yeah,
either way, I edit everything so I would know patreon dot COM's last
soft core history. Check it out. Boosh, thanks for joining us,
Alex Bohemy, I'm Rob Fox. You just gotta saw served, all right, p Jake