Hey, Hey, I'm back with something for you to think about. Too
afraid to stay, too afraid to leave. Now, if you've listened to
some of my episodes that are in relationship chronicles, you would have heard me
say this before. Some people are in relationships too afraid to stay, too
afraid to go. Let me tell you. If you're in a relationship such
as this, you already know you stayed too long. You've stayed too long.
No one should be in a relationship afraid aerod period. If you are
in a relationship and you are afraid for any reason, you definitely in the
wrong relationship and you're with the wrong person. Straight up no, and if
the bucks about it, you're in the wrong relationship with the wrong person.
There is no reason under the sun. No one should be in a relationship
with someone who supposedly loved them and are afraid. If you are afraid to
stay, that means you're afraid of that person. If you're afraid to leave,
a lot of times it's because you're afraid of that person. But I
want to touch you on both. Most times people are both afraid to stay
afraid to leave. But for most people it's because of abuse. They're with
an abusive person and they have given up their power. They've created that monster.
And I'm saying you created that monster because you let him or her do
whatever they chose to do the first time, and you did nothing the second
time, and you did nothing. Now they know that you're not gonna do
nothing. They know that they can do whatever they want to do because you're
not gonna do anything. You created that monster. You taught them exactly how
they could treat you, and now they are doing exactly that. So when
you are with someone and they do anything to you and you do nothing,
oh yeah, you're empowering them. You are definitely relinquishing your power to them.
You are making them feel that they are in power and control over you.
That's why so many people are in relationships and they're afraid. They are
so afraid of their significant others because their significant others have shown them what they'll
do verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically. They've shown them even financially.
Some of them will stop providing for you just as a way of control,
being able to control you whatever way they can do it, and you
let them get away with it, that's what they'll do. So if you're
in a relationship with someone and you're afraid of him or her, As I
said, and I stand firmly on it, you created that monster because you
should have did something the first time. Never stay in an abusive relationship.
I don't care who they are, what they have, how cute they are,
they're titles, their position, nothing and don't matter. That is not
a relationship anyone should be in. But so many people are too afraid to
stay and afraid to leave. Some of you know for yourself because we've all
seen it, or you know someone that stayed too long, didn't get to
leave, died in that abusive relationship. Then you have those who actually left.
I talked about this before on an episode. They actually left the relationship,
but they still stayed too long. By the time they left, it
was still too late. They still lost their lives because they stayed too long.
Stop giving your power to people to hurt you in any way because some
people don't want to admit it. Oh I didn't. I didn't let him
abuse me. I didn't let her abuse me. They did it, Yeah,
they sure did, because you paved the way for them to do it.
You created that monster. You made the foundation. You laid it because
you let them go on and on. You didn't do anything the first time.
Oh, he didn't need it. I shouldn't have said what I said.
I shouldn't have done what I've done. I made them do it,
Know you did it. They did it because of who they are, the
anger inside of them, all of the bitterness and ugliness inside of them.
That's why they did it. They didn't do it because you made them do
it. But they'll make you think that because it's a form of power and
control. It is not love, no way, no, how is it
love. But people think it's love because you heard me talk about the niblets
and nuggets. They give you nibless and nuggets after they mistreat you, after
they abuse you. They give you enough to make you feel good again,
to make you smile again until the next time. And when you do that,
when you allow that, you get deeper and deeper and deeper. You
give them more and more and more control. It's no secret, and I'm
not ashamed to share it. I've told you I've been in an abusive relationship,
very abusive relationship, long long, long time ago, when I was
in my late teens. But oh, let me tell you. I wouldn't
dare ever ever, ever go through that again because I was so young.
I was like eighteen. I was so young, didn't know anything. I
didn't know anything, didn't really know him not to get into a relationship like
I did. But oh, like I talked about what's going on on the
inside. Hey, I was dealing with some stuff too. I was wanting
to leave home. I graduated at seventeen. I wanted to leave home.
Oh I'm grown now. In my mind, I have graduated. I can
leave if I want to. And my mom was like, you sure,
Ken, if you want to go? And I was like what? And
I did? Lord? I told her later in life, I said,
why didn't you rag me and tell me no? She was like, nope,
because you would have resented me forever. I was like, but you
should have. She said no, I shouldn't know. So I got into
that relationship. And because what I saw wasn't directed to me, I thought
I was safe. But I didn't know any better. If you see a
person doing things that are mean, or they're losing their temper with other people,
oh it's bound. It's bound to come to you sooner or later.
They are going to direct it towards you sooner or later, ninety nine percent
of a time sooner or later. But I was eighteen. I didn't know
anything, so I thought I was safe with this guy. So I created
that monster. I created it because when it did turn to me, I
think I was shocked at first, but then I was like, but he
still he still loved me. I don't know. It's been so long ago,
but I know what I was thinking was not right. Obviously I allowed
abuse, and I went through a lot, but thank god, I woke
up and I got out. I had to literally run away, like escape
from a whole different country because we were mimbered terry. But I did what
I had to do. So I know for a fact one thousand percent you
create the monsters in your life, and when you do nothing, it progresses,
it empowers them. Oh now they know you're afraid. Oh yes,
I was afraid. Eighteen years old, I was a little bitty thing.
Yes I was afraid because I never had anyone to treat me like that.
I never had anyone that had that type of behavior. So yes, I
was afraid. Even though I thought I was tough, I never had a
guy to treat me like that, and I took it for a minute until
I realized, oh, hechno, this is not what I want. No,
no, no, and I got out, thank God, with my
life. I have some bumps and bruises and stars, but I got out.
So I'm telling you because I've been there, done that, and I
know it's the monsters we create when you give them the green light by not
doing anything, They're gonna do it again and again and again until you get
out or you die in it. And that sounds cruel, but everyone that's
listening know it's the truth because we all have heard of people or we know
of people who have died in their relationships. If you are afraid to stay
or afraid to leave both relationship with the wrong person, you stayed too long,
because I will tell you I was definitely afraid to stay and I was
afraid to leave too. But guess what, I got it together. I
was like, this man is gonna kill me, or I'm gonna kill him
in self defense. I didn't want that. I didn't want him to kill
me, and I didn't want to kill him. So I was like,
I'm out of here, and I was gone, never look back. To
that relationship no way. So I was smart enough. I woke up,
I'm matured, and I was like, I'm out, I'm done enough.
So the more you let things go and you say nothing nor you do nothing,
the more power you give them. They see your vulnerability, they see
your weakness or they see it as weakness, and they will prey on it.
They gain more power and control. They know exactly what they're doing.
They want you to fear, they want you to and they get to that
that mindset where they feel that your property to them, and you're no one's
property, whether male or female, you no one's property, not in that
sense, you're not. But the more power you give to people, that's
what they think. Because of what's going on inside of them, all of
their insecurities, all of their unresolved issues, all of their hurt, all
of their anger, and everything else that they have inside of them, that's
why they are abusive like they are. They went through trauma, they went
through pain and suffering, and instead of healing from it, they went through
life carrying all of that ugliness inside and now it have formed that mindset that
they have get into every relationship being abusive, praying on people who allow it.
So I'll tell any woman, I'll tell any man, I don't care
if they look at you like they want to slap you, and they don't
slap you, I'm still a go. I'm not giving you zero chances you
you're not cursing me out, you're not yelling at me, you're not doing
anything anything at all that's abusive in any form at all. M no way,
Because you give them an inch, just one inch, they're taken a
whole yard and a mouth, I promise you. So, if you're afraid
to stay and you're afraid to go, you stay too long, you're you're
in. You're in some serious waters, treacherous, very treacherous waters. If
you're afraid to stay and afraid to go, you are in treacherous waters,
and you stay too lone. You can always get out, always, you
always have a choice. But so many people are so gripped with fear because
they don't know exactly what he or she may do. They think they do,
and they're probably right, but they have that great sense of fear of
them doing what they say they're gonna do. Some of them won't even bust
a great They just do all that talking I'll do this and I'll do that,
but you gotta take it serious. You have to take it serious because
they just may be that one who will do it. But there's always a
safe way out. You just have to want to take it. And sometimes
it means you may have to go somewhere else that you never thought you would
go. But if that means safety, you gotta do what you gotta do.
It's short beats being in a relationship being abused and afraid. Now.
I wanted to talk about that because so many people are living in so many
people are living in abusive relationships. And I've talked about abusive relationships on several
episodes. If you have not heard them, go and check them out.
Go to my podcast this One here Relationship Chronicles and just check out scroll through
there. I have several on abusive relationships. Another way people are afraid is
when they have so many insecurities. They're afraid to start over. They're afraid
of what people are gonna say. They don't know how they're gonna make it.
They don't have anything of their own, so they're gripped in that fear.
Also, they don't want to stay, but they're afraid to go as
well, because sometimes they're significant. Others may not be physically abusing them,
but they're emotionally, verbally and mentally abusing them, and it's just as bad.
You'll never make it on your own. I did everything for you.
Everything in here is mine. I aught everything in here. You're gonna go
the same way you came in with nothing. Nobody wants you. I'm the
only person want you. So they beat you down verbally and affect you mentally
and emotionally. So people get in that stage where they believe what they're saying
because of things been said to them in the past. You already think certain
things about yourself and they to you validated by the things they say to you.
So you're fearful because you know that if you leave, you got to
start over. Well, honey, let me tell you. Starting over it's
all right. It beats being in an abusive relationship, whether it's verbally,
mentally, physically, whatever, are an over trumps that not sometimes all of
the time. So if your fear is starting over, your insecurities about how
you're gonna make it, and all of that, you'll be okay. You
can make it if you want to make it. That's why I always tell
you have your own. Don't go into relationships solely looking at what the other
person have. You should have your own. I always have your own to
fall back on. When you don't. People have control over you. They
dangle things over you. Well, you know, if you leave, you're
not taking any of this. You're not gonna make it without me. I
made you all types of stuff that I'll tell you. So you have to
believe in yourself. Have enough confidence about yourself that whatever they say to you
bounce off like a ball up against a wall. You don't allow it to
affect it. Yeah, okay, whatever you say, everything you're saying about
me, I know that's what you really feel about yourself. On the way
out the door, that's what I'll be saying. You just cannot give your
power to people, because I promise you I don't care how much they say
they love you. They will take it. If you give it up,
they will take it. So I want you to think about it. Think
about your situations. Are you in a situation such as this, it's a
terrible, terrible situation to be in. You need to talk to someone.
Don't tell everybody your business, but you need to talk to someone to help
you figure it out, especially people who are in abusive relationships, because staying
in abusive relationship sometimes will be the death of you. And I pray that
situation does not happen to anyone who's listening to me. So I want you
to really really let this get inside of you, meditate on it, think
about it, because it's reality for so many people. People are hurting,
their so afraid. There are some people who would rather kill themselves than to
remain in their relationships when they could just walk away. Run away. However,
you have to do it. It's always an option, but so many
people are gripped with fear that they remain where they are. I just wanted
to talk about it. If anyone listening to me need to talk, please
go to my podcast page. It would tell you how to reach me,
meaning it would show you my email address reach out. I would definitely respond.
Thank you so much for listening. Much love to each and every one
of you. I want you to know that you deserve the best you can
be. The best you can be. You just have to want it.
Never choose to remain the same, Never let that be an option in your
life. If you want better, you have to do something different. Thank
you again for listening. Please please share this episode and please share my podcast
Relatable life Chronicles that have a lot of good information there. Thank you again.
I end every episode the same and I really pray, I pray that
you do it. Thank on it.