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H Hello and welcome to Two Therapists
in a Microphone. I am doctor Harrison

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Davis and I'm doctor Asia Dickerson.
Two Therapist and a Microphone is a show

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about mental health relationships and social issues
that personally affect you. We broadcast live

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every Monday evening at seven o'clock PM
on the our Black Media Network. We

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are two license psychotherapists with decades of
experience, and we still want to hear

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from you all. We want to
know about the situations of dilemmas that you

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might be going through, So please
send us your questions by visiting www dot

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two therapist dot com and click on
as two Therapists at the top of the

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page. Absolutely because you you would
want to hear from two license train therapists

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out there. And I believe the
new term is master therapist. Yes,

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two master therapist. So this is
July twenty twenty three. Hope you had

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a great Fourth of July weekend or
a week doctor Asia. I know I

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did. I survived it. It
was hot, Yeah, it was hot,

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but I was determined to have a
fun time for the holiday, so

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I survived it. So July is
also national BIPOC Mental Health Awareness month,

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and that's a new term that I
learned about a new year ago, Black

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and Indigenous people of color, which
is replacing minority here. And I just

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want to shout out to all the
clinicians out there who helped black folks and

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brown people and other groups to overcome
any challenges out there, and this month

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we're gonna try to highlight some of
those issues in the black community. Yeah,

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I've seen a lot of presentations.
I know. Essence Fest was in

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July well, I guess fourth of
July weekend as well, and they had

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a whole mental health section. I
saw quite a few people we know Harrison

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who were there speaking, which I
was really excited about because they're actually talking

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to therapists and not people who feel
like they can coach. So I'm when

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I see an LPC, I'm like, Okay, now they actually want to

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make a difference. They don't want
to just have people they're talking. So

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I was excited about that. At
FIST. I'm excited too that they got

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some license folks. You know,
I've encountered a few people who informed me

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that they are life coaches, and
I just asked them about their credentials,

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you know, me and and found
out they took a weekend course. Oh,

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and I just want to lead that
right there. Well, I want

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to take the weekend of course too. Maybe I can call myself a life

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coach too. Maybe it's marketable.
Yeah, I'm gonna tell my thirteen year

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daughter to call herself too. They
can take it together and they can start

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them so absolutely, I'd like to
start them off early. So today we're

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gonna talk about relationship issues. That's
a hot topic and recent incidents that took

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place that's really hot on the internet
these days, and I saw a few

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shows about it. You might have
to help me out with a few things.

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As I tried, I'm not helping
anymore. And I don't even try

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to hide it. Um. But
it's about Kiki Palmer and she went to

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their Ersha concert and Las Vegas.
That's ussher. And let me play a

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clip to give you guys an idea
of what actually happened. Give me one

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second, and then we're gonna talk
about relationships and roles and expectations. Add

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that to this great there we go, Let be hit play. Can you

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hear it? Yes? Keky Palmer's
partner Darius Jackson shames her for wearing a

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see through outfit to an Usher concert. Oh my gosh, come on,

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let's talk about it. Kki hit
up Usher's Las Vegas residency show on the

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fourth of July, rocking a sheer
black dress over a matching song bodysuit for

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the occasion. It was such a
great experience for me. Yeah, but

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Darius didn't seem to be a fan
of the sexy fit, retweeting a viral

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video of the singer serenading Kiki in
the audience to his track there Goes My

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Baby and writing, it's the outfit
though you a mom, of course.

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Kiki and Darius welcome their first child
together, a son named Leotis, in

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February. What has been your favorite
part so far of motherhood? You know,

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I think it's our mornings. That's
our mornings are a long time together,

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you know what I'm saying. He's
left me smiling and he's a little

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sleepy, so I don't have to
hit him cries. You know, It's

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just a little bit of everything.
As for that tweet, Darius doubled down

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in a separate post, writing,
we live in a generation where a man

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of the family doesn't want the wife
and mother to his kids to showcase booty

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cheeks to please others, and he
gets told how much of a hater he

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is. This is my family and
my representation. I have standards and morals

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to what I believe. Kiki has
not publicly addressed Darius's comments, but as

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of Thursday, they're not following each
other on Instagram. Meanwhile, the Nope

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actress is proud of her fit,
sharing a closer look at her see through

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number and writing that she wished she
had taken more picks, but they were

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running late already. Kiki also praised
Usher's performance, calling it so fabulous and

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while Darius and Kiki might not be
seeing ida eye now, back in April,

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she told ET she loves watching her
man become a dad. It's just

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so attentive. I guess that's what
you want all fathers to be, but

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it's even more than I expected it. Um. I just really am grateful

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to have such an amazing partner to
do this with. But I think that

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is obviously why. All right,
So that was a lot in that little

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segment. Yeah, I don't really
know Kiki Palmer. I think I remember

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her in a movie years ago,
Leela and the Bee, about a little

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girl in a spelling bee like her
her first really famous role. But she's

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been in a lot since then,
you know, like we kind of I

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say, we've watched her grow up. But she's about my age, so

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we grew up together. Like you
though it's like my cousin. You know

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that that I don't know about him, she don't know about me. But

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an brown scared black girls of a
certain age and hearing her talk, I

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feel connected to her, like we
have a lot of similarities. A lot

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of sisters are connecting with her.
I like I mentioned, I don't know

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her. I just haven't kept up
with her. I know she's an actress

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and she was on a talk show, she was a home She can sing

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and she can dance like she can
do it all. And let me tell

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you, her body looks nice.
I'm I have to give her props.

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I didn't know she recently had a
baby, you know, but but she

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looks nice. But there's an issue, and I want to get your thoughts

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about this. First heard and her
on the segment and said her partner,

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Darius, I think his name has
deleted his um Instagram or Twitter account where

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he made the comments. I know
it's back, it's back, Okay,

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no more than I do. Yeah, I keep up with it because you

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know, like to be in the
mix. So what's what's your take on

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that? Because people were attacking him
and now people are some individuals are coming

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to his rescue. I think that
for me, it has nothing to do

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with either of them being celebrities.
For me, if you're in a relationship

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and you have an issue with something
your partner, does you address it directly

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with your partner. I don't know
if that was his first time seeing the

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outfit, but I mean, if
it was, if it was, say

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send her a message, Hey,
what's going on with this outfit? The

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biggest issue for me is the public
not shaming because I'm not I want well,

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it might be shaming, but it's
the public discussion of it, like

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it's social media. Keep your business
off social media. Yeah, so I

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hear. I hear what you're saying
that if yeah, I'm with you on

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that. But this is a new
generation talked about this before. Everybody.

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They put things on social media and
they reveal a lot, and so he

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did. Um somebody said wow,
yeah, he put it out there in

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the public, and I think that
has become the norm, he scolded her.

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Right, but you're saying I'm with
you, then perhaps that should have

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been um um, a private conversation
between them two. With that, however,

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when don't you think about the comments
he made, well, he doubled

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down with to me using the wrong
terms his family. Okay, I get

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the baby, and you may consider
Keyy your family too, But the truth

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is that she's not your wife,
and I'm she ain't your wife. She

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is your partner, and that's the
term. It's one of the reasons that

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a lot of people won't get legally
attached to somebody because what comes with that.

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At this point, if you don't
like what she wore and she didn't

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like your comments, y'all could just
walk away from each other. You don't

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have to discuss anything. You can
go ahead and put it on social media

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all you want to, because you
have nothing to lose and she has nothing

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to lose, and they are in
the relationship. I understand it. I

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used to turn partner and he was. He was obviously offended by her actions.

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I'm gonna put it that way,
but he said it. He came

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at her like, how dare my
wife be out there showing her booty cheeks.

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She ain't your wife, she is
she is your baby mama. That

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so you see it. Because he
didn't put a ring on it, He

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doesn't have a say soul said,
if you like it, then you should

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have put a ring on it.
But y'all don't said it. Now they

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had a baby together. You know, I hear what you're saying. So

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you say that he has no authority
over how she dresses or how she acts

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in public, all the way.
They have a baby together and they're in

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a partnership because he had he didn't
put a ring on he's not married to

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her. No man owns a woman. But you sure don't have You sure

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lose a lot of steak without some
type of commitment. Unfortunately, a child

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is not a commitment to a woman. It's a commitment to the child.

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You have a new commitment, but
it's not a commitment to that woman.

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Acknowledge that he was a great father, Yeah yeah, I saw that part.

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And she said it's been a joy
watching him grow as a father and

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she's happy that she has someone to
do this parenting thing with. Period.

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She says she he's a great parent. She didn't say he was a wonderful

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partner that you know she loves something. Well she did tweet because I looked

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at her tweets too. All I
have to say is I love my man.

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Okay, Okay, So see I
I did a little research on it

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before I heard through the internet great
that they were actually still together and in

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a committed relationship. So you know, we agreed on that first part.

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Perhaps you should have had a private
conversation with it. Well, and then

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they both unfollowed each other on social
media, and I'm not sure exactly what

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that fixes when I mean period,
and not just for celebrities, but there

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are a lot of couples who are
like, well, I'm not gonna let

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you follow me, and I'm not
going to follow you, and we can

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stay out of each other's business like
that. That's not how that works.

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People look going to screenshot it,
and they're going to send you pictures.

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Other people are going to talk about
it. You're gonna know everything that they

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do on social media. You just
don't know as quickly as you would have

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otherwise, even if they block you. So the key is not to stop

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following each other. The key is
to stop putting your business on social media.

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The key for him would be to
grow up because that was so immature.

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Oh okay, so here's where we
virgent paths, you know with that.

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But I do encourage people to handle
those disputes with your partner privately instead

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of involving the rest of the world. I think that might be great.

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However, the question that I have, it sounds like brother Man is he

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black? I don't know. I
believe he is. I think it's vibration.

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Okay, so brother manum he felt
a little bit disrespected, and the

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question and I was thinking about,
you know, she went on stage,

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had a great time wearing his outfit. Did they not check with each other

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about what she was gonna wear or
behavior whatever? In rules established about what

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you're gonna do when you go out
without me? And how did she honor

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him as her partner by revealing so
much? You know, I'm part of

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a different generation, I think,
you know. But do you have to

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show your ass cheeks? No?
And I'm just not used to see in

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her dress like that. It actually
looks like she was going to the beach.

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She put on a mesh looking cover
up. I'm gonna go to a

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concert instead. Look great. You
know what your bikini and your mesh cover

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up. I know it was cute. I mean, it couldn't be me.

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I mean maybe if it had a
little more coverage in the back.

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I think it was the throng that
set it off. Maybe if it had

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just been really more just, you
know, at least covered half a beach

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cheek, he might have had such
a big problem with it. But she

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honored her relationship. That's the thing. That's the question I'm asking. We

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don't know what boundaries they have set, and this may be one of those

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times when it's when they need to
sit down. And it feels like we're

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talking about boundaries a lot lately every
time, but it may be time for

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them to sit down and establish what
their boundaries are with each other. I

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agree, because something was obviously cross, he was surprised. Perhaps he didn't

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respond in the most mature way.
Perhaps he could have shared that information with

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her privately. You know. However, he let her know how he felt

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instead of holding an in or lashing
out at her when when they're having a

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conversation or something. However, I'm
gonna have to, uh, you know,

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I guess I can understand the brother
a little bit more. Yeah,

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tell me what an't your thoughts?
Yeah, from a male perspective, because

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I've heard a few, well I've
seen rather a female perspectives. What do

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you think? So I I you
know, if they're in a committed relationship,

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you know, perhaps they could have
had these conversations, like you said,

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right up front, but something wasn't
communicated. So I don't know the

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quality of that relationship. He wasn't
aware of what she was wearing, you

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know, even when you I know
people who've gone to the Usher concert and

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they're married, and they already have
some established rules about behavior and they're not

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going to embarrass their spouse. However, they are married, right, there

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are two rings one on his finger
and her fingers two on hers. That's

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right, that's right. But but
um, yeah, they didn't do anything

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to dishonor their relationship or embarrass their
spouse. They had a great time.

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I don't think key Key and Darius
had that conversation and where their relationship stands,

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you know, and how they're going
to protect each other. And like

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you said, you know they're not
married, I don't know if it's really

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a relationship, to be honest with
you. Well, and so there are

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other things that are going through my
mind, like not just had have you

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seen the dress? But do you
ever let your woman know what you think

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she looks nice in what you would
like to see her in. The best

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way to do that is to purchase
the dress for her? And who we

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were just talking about this this weekend
because I love the pictures and what she

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had on for her birthday. And
I told her, I've got to come

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shop in your closet and she said, well, I have a personal shopper,

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and she tagged her husband. He
knows what he likes to see her

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in, where he wouldn't want to
see her in, and just in case

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she's confused, he buys the dresses
for And then it's like, look,

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I love you, I think you
look great in this, so I bought

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it for you. It's the best
way. I like that policy. I

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like that policy, you know,
or even going together making it a fun

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little date, you know, ideally
going out together, but even if you

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aren't, here's what I'm gonna do
to help you to ensure you know that

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you're representing us, you know,
in an appropriate way. I think that's

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a great idea. I think there
are already some red flags in that relationship

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with Darius and Keyking one. I
think that when you and what people are

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calling publicly shamed someone, it is
if not one hundred percent, is verging

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on abuse. It's just like snatching
her up in the club when she's talking

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to somebody. I think, so, yeah, it was hard to me.

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You are virtually snatching her up.
Don't you talk to that man?

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Or don't you what you got on? And you're dragging her out the club?

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I got you, okay to me
when I read that, Whereas I

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saw him expressing his disappointment and how
he supposedly has a brother that he's very

233
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close to express it to your brother, okay. Well, yeah, well

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he let her know he was disappointed
with the outfit, and um, he

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mentioned morals and statements about today's I
guess hip hop young people, you know,

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and uh, he was attacked for
expressing his morals and things like that.

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I was surprised by the reaction.
And he actually sort of asked what

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is wrong with the man in the
head the household m letting his woman know,

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you know that he how she should
dress and she shouldn't show her her

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ass cheeks in public. You know, he was expressing his morals. I'm

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just was hoping he had that discussion
before the Usher concert. Well that's the

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thing, like this the first time
y'all talked about morals and expectations. And

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also like she didn't make out with
Usher. They rocked back and forth.

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That she sang some of the songs. Yeah, but he pointed up.

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But when she turned around she showed
that ass. She did, but she

246
00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:45.839
wasn't there. I mean not to
diminish, are dismissed his feelings, but

247
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she could have had him something much
worse, Like did you watch the beet

248
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Awards? I avoided that. She
was very classy, I went compared to

249
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a lot of what. Okay,
so she was tamed, the outfit was

250
00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:06.200
tamed. Here we go. I
like that Hey pulled inside. It was

251
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a whole one piece and then you
know the sea through part over it.

252
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Yeah, the beach cover up.
Yeah. The other question that popped up

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before we move on to talk about
relationships and how to avoid situations like this,

254
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Um is it he called her out
because she's a mom? And um,

255
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is it okay for a mom to
go out with that type of outfit

256
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in public? Who has a man
at home? Um? And and do

257
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things like that. That's that's the
other question. I don't know how to

258
00:21:44.839 --> 00:21:45.839
answer that. I just want to
hear what are your thoughts about it?

259
00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:51.240
I don't I don't know. Yes, she is a mom, and let's

260
00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:55.640
be really real, she is a
single mom. Okay you think so,

261
00:21:56.160 --> 00:22:03.400
yes, Now, well she's not
married, so she is a single She

262
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is a single mother, and so
I do know that. It's there's a

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lot where you have to get your
confidence back a lot of times after you

264
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have a child, you know.
I'm sure there were some cinching parts to

265
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that outfit that helped pull her in
real tight, and she felt like,

266
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Okay, Okay, maybe I haven't
felt sexy in a while. I feel

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sexy now. I want her to
have and she she could be experiencing postpartum

268
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depression instead, this is a much
better scenario to lift the mood. Okay.

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I saw comments like that, um, and I don't know. Like

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I said, I don't know how
to answer that. I don't know.

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You know, she was comfortable wearing
the outfit. Um. I mean,

272
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being the mom is just not a
reason. It's not like the mom's of

273
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the eighties. He want this woman
watching That's what I'm on, you know,

274
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prior to some kids and some capri
pants because but no call it shirt.

275
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I've met some grandmothers who dressed like
that, okay uh, and I'm

276
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not talking about in their sixties.
However, it goes back to the relationship

277
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and whatever conversations they had and how
they're going to honor each other. He

278
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seemed awful surprised, and I was
surprised. It was my biggest thing,

279
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Like y'all in FaceTime before you went
down a babe, how do you like

280
00:23:23.920 --> 00:23:29.079
my outfit? How much do y'all
communicate? I was thinking the same thing,

281
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like before you know, call him
up. Hey, I'm about to

282
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go out. What do you think
how I look? You know, what

283
00:23:33.759 --> 00:23:37.319
do you think about this outfit?
I was thinking, didn't you guys do

284
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that? Or was he back at
home with the baby? But still like

285
00:23:41.720 --> 00:23:44.920
you didn't send them any pictures from
the concert? I mean, I know

286
00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:49.519
when I've been in the relationship,
I've sent pictures from the night are checked.

287
00:23:49.599 --> 00:23:55.799
I mean, he was like blindsided
and so appalled that I have to

288
00:23:55.839 --> 00:24:00.680
post about this. This seeing this
on Twitter, it's my first time seeing

289
00:24:00.680 --> 00:24:03.000
it, and I'm going to post
about it right now. Because I'm so

290
00:24:03.119 --> 00:24:06.200
upset with you that I can't hold
it in. I want the world to

291
00:24:06.279 --> 00:24:10.119
know I'm upset with me. I'm
gonna blow this whole relationship up and forget

292
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that you're a mom, but also
forget that I'm a dad. I mean,

293
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like, by posted, it's just
for you think that the issue is

294
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she's embarrassing as a mom, but
you think it's okay for you to post

295
00:24:25.319 --> 00:24:27.920
about your baby's mama on Twitter.
And I talked to a lot of guys

296
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about that all the time, like, if you want to be a good

297
00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:36.640
father, respect your kids mother,
don't talk bad about her and from the

298
00:24:36.720 --> 00:24:38.640
kids, don't talk bad about her
in public. Because now it's on the

299
00:24:38.680 --> 00:24:42.920
Internet, the kid is going to
be able to say it never go away,

300
00:24:44.440 --> 00:24:48.440
regardless of what you delete. But
we're in a we we have an

301
00:24:48.440 --> 00:24:55.000
internet culture now. Well social media
is here to stay. And I just

302
00:24:55.079 --> 00:25:00.480
remember when we didn't have the internet, so you know I do too,

303
00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:04.880
but but but I remember. Yeah, I believe it was a mistake,

304
00:25:06.119 --> 00:25:11.200
like you mentioned, for him to
take that public um and perhaps she should

305
00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:14.799
have just checked with them. Yeah, if if she hasn't deleted it,

306
00:25:14.920 --> 00:25:18.359
he is, Like I said,
what I said, is there. Yeah,

307
00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:22.799
I respect his comments. It's just
I wouldn't if he if he was

308
00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:26.440
my client, I would not have
encouraged him to go public with it.

309
00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:32.079
But like you said, he was
outraged about that, and uh, something

310
00:25:32.119 --> 00:25:34.279
new came up. What I was
doing my research on this topic, you

311
00:25:34.279 --> 00:25:41.039
know, is there a double standard? Chance to rapper recently had a video

312
00:25:41.160 --> 00:25:45.880
come out of him and some type
of carnival because it looks like a Caribbean

313
00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:49.759
carnival thing. He was dancing behind
one of the dances her but cheeks were

314
00:25:49.799 --> 00:25:53.240
out and he was grinding her.
I think his shirt was off. And

315
00:25:53.279 --> 00:26:00.160
I believe he's married, and and
people were making comments about shame on him

316
00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:03.480
for embarrassing his wife. Now he
is married, says she's embarrassed. The

317
00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:11.240
problem art still here is what are
the expectations in the relationship. She made

318
00:26:11.279 --> 00:26:15.519
me like, I don't care anything
about that. T Payne's wife doesn't care

319
00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:19.839
anything about the strippers he deals with. Some people are Ta and Tinity.

320
00:26:19.880 --> 00:26:26.359
They have threesomes. The question is
what are the expectations of the relationship and

321
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:30.160
what boundaries have He said, She's
like, I don't care about you danced

322
00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:33.440
with a woman that Carnival is Carnival, she might have been a little bit

323
00:26:33.480 --> 00:26:37.119
further down the street dancing. That
was correct. However, what is interesting

324
00:26:37.240 --> 00:26:45.039
You're correct the tone of the reactions
he chanced. The wrapper was scolded by

325
00:26:45.319 --> 00:26:52.640
the public, whereas a lot of
people are coming to the defense of Keiki

326
00:26:52.720 --> 00:26:56.000
Palmer. And like you mentioned,
she's a mom. She wanted to be

327
00:26:56.119 --> 00:27:00.440
sexied. This may have helped her
to feel better about herself and you know,

328
00:27:00.559 --> 00:27:04.920
let her be free and independent.
I was surprised by the differences in

329
00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:11.079
the tone. And are there some
gender differences that came along with how you

330
00:27:11.160 --> 00:27:17.319
act in public? Are women more
critical of men who do things like that

331
00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:26.920
and more forgiving of women who do
something similar? Let that marinate perhaps,

332
00:27:27.480 --> 00:27:30.680
I don't know. That's a good
question, that's a great question. I

333
00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:33.400
don't have an answer to that.
I mean, I don't. I don't

334
00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:36.160
care what chance the rappers doing either. If his wife didn't have an issue

335
00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:38.599
with it, don't have an issue
with it. And okay, Keiki Charmer

336
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:44.160
is a mother. But I'm just
think about Carnival. There's plenty of half

337
00:27:44.279 --> 00:27:48.279
nick and mothers walking down the street
dancing, ye, and nobody ever says

338
00:27:48.319 --> 00:27:52.799
anything about Okay, nobody ever says
anything about it. Yeah, yeah,

339
00:27:52.799 --> 00:27:56.599
but when I went, people were
not holding phones and taking pictures. Maybe

340
00:27:56.599 --> 00:28:00.599
you just didn't see it. I
didn't see it at all. So now

341
00:28:00.680 --> 00:28:07.680
let's talk about how people can avoid
some of these situations. You know,

342
00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:11.240
we've sort of dissected this issue a
little bit, you know, gave your

343
00:28:11.240 --> 00:28:15.799
opinion of mine, you know,
our thoughts about it. Let's talk about,

344
00:28:15.839 --> 00:28:19.000
you know, how to create that
healthy relationship with some healthy boundaries.

345
00:28:19.440 --> 00:28:26.319
What what can the audience members do
to avoid something like this? That's the

346
00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:30.319
question that I have. Yeah.
The number one thing that you can do

347
00:28:30.559 --> 00:28:37.200
is have the conversations up front for
you way before you get pregnant. What

348
00:28:37.359 --> 00:28:41.640
are your expectations for my outfits?
Is it okay for me to go to

349
00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:48.480
for me to have friendships with single
women? Do you need to be friends

350
00:28:48.519 --> 00:28:52.400
with them too? How do you
feel about me talking to my ex?

351
00:28:52.319 --> 00:28:57.559
How close can I be with my
co parent from my previous relationship? Do

352
00:28:57.640 --> 00:29:02.279
you want kids in the first place? And am I expected to dress a

353
00:29:02.279 --> 00:29:06.599
certain way before and after kids?
Are you gonna pay half the bills?

354
00:29:07.400 --> 00:29:11.559
Can you can you have me flowers
delivered once a week talk about everything.

355
00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:15.640
I agree, don't don't, don't
shy away with those questions. Um.

356
00:29:15.680 --> 00:29:18.920
Now, they decided to have the
baby before marriage, and I don't know

357
00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:23.119
what's going on with the relationship.
Um, but I do believe there's a

358
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:27.079
much more of a deeper commitment when
you are married. However, you still

359
00:29:27.079 --> 00:29:32.079
got to know what to expect.
Tomboy was shocked. He was surprised,

360
00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:34.480
And I'm just sitting back thinking that
he didn't know that she likes to dress

361
00:29:34.519 --> 00:29:37.759
like that. He didn't know,
He wasn't aware. Did they never have

362
00:29:37.839 --> 00:29:44.240
that conversation about how to act and
what does he do when he goes out?

363
00:29:44.680 --> 00:29:48.880
You know? And right because nobody's
pulling out their phones recording him,

364
00:29:48.880 --> 00:29:51.960
because we wouldn't know who he was
if we crossed him on the street.

365
00:29:52.519 --> 00:29:59.920
Are you damn Right's baby daddy?
It is not got the Google and see,

366
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.680
Oh maybe it is, and maybe
it's just another light scanned dude.

367
00:30:03.720 --> 00:30:07.119
I wouldn't know. Yeah, Yeah, I agree with you one hundred percent.

368
00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:11.440
Have those conversations so that you're not
surprised. In addition, I like

369
00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:17.000
to help couples set up some rules. You know, how are you going

370
00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:22.200
to honor your partner. How are
you going to protect their feelings when you're

371
00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:26.200
out in public? Many times,
what I've heard from a lot of couples

372
00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:30.440
when they're out, somebody tries to
hit on them, you know, although

373
00:30:30.440 --> 00:30:33.640
they are married, and he let
them know that they are married or something

374
00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:36.759
like that. The question is what
are you going to do? And you

375
00:30:36.799 --> 00:30:40.680
have to trust your spouse and you
gotta come up with some rules about that

376
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:45.279
and come back home and talk about
it, as opposed to not doing anything,

377
00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:49.240
sharing your number and hoping that your
spouse doesn't find out about it.

378
00:30:49.599 --> 00:30:52.400
You got you gotta set up those
rules about what you're going to do on

379
00:30:52.519 --> 00:30:56.599
the job. And just heard a
radio segment about what is it called work

380
00:30:56.680 --> 00:31:02.319
husbands work job? I think you
and I've talked about that. This is

381
00:31:02.359 --> 00:31:04.160
like years ago and someone was like, because you know you have that work

382
00:31:04.240 --> 00:31:07.279
husband, work wife, and both
of us were like, not me,

383
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:12.279
if you ain't, if you ain't
hemping out with stuff or cooking or whatever,

384
00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:18.400
giving me And I'm not telling you
about in my household. I don't

385
00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:22.480
understand that comes from I'm not buying
unless my husband knows. You know,

386
00:31:22.599 --> 00:31:26.799
I'm not showing up at your party
and he doesn't know where I'm headed to.

387
00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:30.200
If I do, it's intentional,
and you know we're headed towards divorce,

388
00:31:30.319 --> 00:31:33.119
and perhaps that needs to be part
of the rules that you come up

389
00:31:33.119 --> 00:31:37.960
with. And like you mentioned,
talking with your ex and some other person

390
00:31:38.119 --> 00:31:41.519
from your job and you're going out
to dinner or lunch with them, to

391
00:31:41.720 --> 00:31:45.519
a lunch and whether or not you
can talk with them over the phone,

392
00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:52.759
how about you sharing that information with
your partner to avoid these mishaps and these

393
00:31:52.799 --> 00:31:57.440
misunderstandings. And if that, if
the rules that your partner sets are too

394
00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:01.400
much for you, you may have
to determine that they might not be the

395
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:05.880
partner for you. I'm sure somebody
had doesn't care what you do at all

396
00:32:06.960 --> 00:32:09.359
to come home. Negotiate. You
can negotiate, you know, as some

397
00:32:09.400 --> 00:32:14.559
people are very comfortable. I know
a lot of the young folks, you

398
00:32:14.599 --> 00:32:17.440
know, they're in couples relationships.
Sometimes they're married, and somebody's still going

399
00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:22.920
to the clubs and they go separately, you know, with their friends.

400
00:32:22.319 --> 00:32:27.559
You know, and somebody goes on
a vacation without their spouse. You gotta

401
00:32:27.599 --> 00:32:30.240
talk about some rules. And when
I'm on vacation, don't contact me.

402
00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:32.480
I get to do whatever I want
to do, and when I come home,

403
00:32:32.599 --> 00:32:39.319
just say that's something you can negotiate
with your husband, your partner want

404
00:32:39.519 --> 00:32:42.720
me, I'm like, face time
me. What y'all doing out there?

405
00:32:42.799 --> 00:32:49.279
Let me see the beach. So
what about the roles within a relationship as

406
00:32:49.359 --> 00:32:54.640
I'm familiar now that Kiki is a
celebrity, Yes, and celebrities they got

407
00:32:54.640 --> 00:32:59.160
to keep their names out there.
Yeah, they gotta stay relevant, whether

408
00:32:59.240 --> 00:33:04.200
they're in a movie or TV show
or what. And I'm assuming because she

409
00:33:04.359 --> 00:33:08.559
is a celebrity, she makes more
money and so she she she brings in

410
00:33:08.599 --> 00:33:15.279
the income. And so in a
situation like that, uh, you gotta

411
00:33:15.359 --> 00:33:20.759
think about your role and that that's
her job. Because a part of me

412
00:33:20.920 --> 00:33:24.960
is the believing that whole thing was
staged well. And if he had played

413
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.599
it right, well I know about
the partners that he is a personal trainer.

414
00:33:29.839 --> 00:33:34.400
If he had played it right,
he could have been his best advertisement.

415
00:33:35.079 --> 00:33:38.799
Look how great she looks. We
worked out together every day. I

416
00:33:38.839 --> 00:33:43.680
did that. I made that,
I help I helped her be that way.

417
00:33:43.680 --> 00:33:46.480
And that's my woman. But instead
you, uh, it's the outfit

418
00:33:46.559 --> 00:33:51.720
though you are mom. Yeah,
So so I see what you're saying.

419
00:33:51.799 --> 00:33:54.880
Yeah, he could have played up
on that celebrity get your name out their

420
00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:59.599
game, you know. And sometimes
they do some outrageous stuff, I e.

421
00:33:59.759 --> 00:34:04.440
Will Smith, Jada some outragious stuff. But I don't know if he

422
00:34:04.440 --> 00:34:07.800
can handle who celebrity. I don't
know. And and and they never talked

423
00:34:07.840 --> 00:34:15.840
about what role she's gonna play as
the mother of his child and his partner,

424
00:34:15.400 --> 00:34:20.239
and what that's going to look like. It's easier when there are no

425
00:34:20.360 --> 00:34:24.440
celebrities in the relationship. However,
Um, she's not going to get a

426
00:34:24.440 --> 00:34:28.679
whole lot of attention. And she's
going up there on stage when a floor

427
00:34:28.760 --> 00:34:32.599
length dress. This is true covered
up. Now everybody's talking about Kiki and

428
00:34:32.599 --> 00:34:37.280
I can't remember her since she was
in the well. You know, Chris

429
00:34:37.400 --> 00:34:43.519
Rock had a comedy special called I
think it was called Tambourine where he was

430
00:34:43.519 --> 00:34:46.679
like, sometimes she just gotta be
comfortable with playing the tambourine and her man,

431
00:34:46.800 --> 00:34:51.039
Mike, just play your tambourine and
back support your woman, I see,

432
00:34:51.599 --> 00:34:55.840
I see be the support to help
the family financially. Of course she's

433
00:34:55.880 --> 00:35:00.559
gonna pull it in, you know. Now, I don't know she's ready

434
00:35:00.599 --> 00:35:07.440
for that. Because she she looks
like she's ready to fly. She she

435
00:35:07.599 --> 00:35:12.199
was on that stage looking like what
relationship? What She's an actress and I

436
00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:15.159
mean in this Usher and if Usher
came up to me, I'm a dance

437
00:35:15.199 --> 00:35:19.559
too, and Hammy and Mike,
I'm a scene too. Okay. It

438
00:35:19.960 --> 00:35:23.480
was a great It was not just
a way to promote herself, but it

439
00:35:23.559 --> 00:35:30.480
was a great experience like happy birthday. That would be like such a memorable

440
00:35:30.599 --> 00:35:37.159
birthday, and she showed off that
magnificent body and all that was great.

441
00:35:37.360 --> 00:35:43.800
I'm just pointing out her partner's reaction
and how that shows some cracks in that

442
00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:49.639
relationship. Definitely, And of course
boundaries are important and how you're gonna honor

443
00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:53.239
your your partner and what role you're
gonna play, because if he's gonna stick

444
00:35:53.239 --> 00:35:58.800
in there with her and she's a
celebrity and she's gonna grow her business as

445
00:35:58.800 --> 00:36:00.960
a celebrity, then he might have
to get used to some of these things.

446
00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:06.360
I saw somebody posts and something that
was to the effect of, I

447
00:36:06.480 --> 00:36:09.400
know, you ain't in ky Keys
house telling Kiki how to dress, you

448
00:36:09.400 --> 00:36:15.519
know, and kikiS money, like
she has all her own stuff. Yeah,

449
00:36:15.519 --> 00:36:22.840
and so she seems to be free
spirited and likes to have fun.

450
00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:25.360
From the videos that I pulled up, she seems like a party girl.

451
00:36:25.400 --> 00:36:29.239
And I mean that in a nice
way. I'm not being sarcastic. And

452
00:36:29.519 --> 00:36:32.800
he doesn't seem like a party guy
to me. I mean, he might

453
00:36:32.840 --> 00:36:36.159
be, but we wouldn't know,
because, like I said, nobody's pulling

454
00:36:36.239 --> 00:36:39.079
up their phone check off for Darius. Yeah, but but by his post,

455
00:36:39.519 --> 00:36:45.239
I'm concluding he's not a party guy, you know. With that,

456
00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:50.960
So compatibility is also and that's another
thing. She wants to be able with

457
00:36:50.960 --> 00:36:53.639
her girls for a birthday, not
a man. I was still the same

458
00:36:53.679 --> 00:37:00.400
thing. Why didn't she go with
her man? Maybe he was at home

459
00:37:00.440 --> 00:37:07.239
babysitting. Maybe he was mad.
She said, this damn concert. And

460
00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:09.440
I don't know what she's wearing,
what she's doing, because those photos,

461
00:37:09.440 --> 00:37:16.000
she certainly looks single. To your
point, she looks single. So those

462
00:37:16.039 --> 00:37:21.000
those are some of my comments about
how to avoid, you know, situations

463
00:37:21.039 --> 00:37:25.639
like that. Communication is important,
Yeah, establishing those rules and what you're

464
00:37:25.679 --> 00:37:30.920
gonna do when your partner's not there, what's acceptable and what's not acceptable.

465
00:37:30.960 --> 00:37:36.159
You can negotiate, you can even
modify some of the rules. But I

466
00:37:36.639 --> 00:37:39.280
like to tell people set it up
so you're not surprised, you know,

467
00:37:39.880 --> 00:37:45.079
because now if you have rules and
you agree with it, as somebody violates

468
00:37:45.079 --> 00:37:51.679
the rules, what does that lead
to? Doctor Asia break up? Yeah?

469
00:37:51.880 --> 00:37:53.599
Period, But you're not both know. They show up to our couch

470
00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:58.679
sometime and I asked, didn't y'all
talk about this before you got married?

471
00:38:00.599 --> 00:38:05.559
So you never discussed this. You
never talked about how often they do this

472
00:38:05.920 --> 00:38:08.719
and whether or not he want to
continue doing this? You know? Um,

473
00:38:08.719 --> 00:38:12.960
So that's very important. That's that's
that's my thought about that. I

474
00:38:13.039 --> 00:38:17.599
feel sorry for the brother. I
really do. H Harrison, you already

475
00:38:17.639 --> 00:38:22.199
know I don't agree with you,
but that's okay. We can still be

476
00:38:22.239 --> 00:38:30.079
friends. He brought this on himself, he contributed. But I do hope

477
00:38:30.159 --> 00:38:37.280
for her sake that they're able to
work it out, that he will let

478
00:38:37.320 --> 00:38:44.519
his pride go and delete the TWEETU
and acknowledge that although he may not have

479
00:38:44.559 --> 00:38:47.760
liked the outfit, social media was
in the best place to in a good

480
00:38:47.800 --> 00:38:53.199
place period to say anything like that
or to communicate any message to your partner.

481
00:38:53.719 --> 00:38:59.599
I agree, and hopefully Key Key
has also learned some lessons to be

482
00:38:59.679 --> 00:39:02.159
you can. You look great,
how fun. However, there's someone else

483
00:39:02.199 --> 00:39:07.920
involved and he seems to care about
her, and you gotta come up with

484
00:39:07.920 --> 00:39:13.320
some policies of rules about some things
you can still negotiate. At least let

485
00:39:13.400 --> 00:39:16.400
them know what you're wearing, you
know, so that you and she should

486
00:39:16.519 --> 00:39:22.679
know him as well. And if
he's a little bit emotionally reactive and has

487
00:39:22.719 --> 00:39:25.960
the propensity for fire and off on
social media, then she should have known,

488
00:39:27.239 --> 00:39:30.199
Oh, my man's gonna go do
this, He's gonna add crazy over

489
00:39:30.199 --> 00:39:35.400
the damn Twitter. You know,
perhaps you could have avoided all of that

490
00:39:35.559 --> 00:39:37.440
yourself. And I don't know if
it has anything to do with the outfit.

491
00:39:37.559 --> 00:39:42.119
You know, I'm just part of
a different generation and where you don't

492
00:39:42.159 --> 00:39:45.360
show your ass cheeks, you know. I guess that was the part that

493
00:39:45.440 --> 00:39:54.920
was really surprising. But people apparently
go to awards ceremony wearing glitter baby suits.

494
00:39:55.199 --> 00:40:02.480
It was Jess ass Cheese, I
know he pointed that out. So

495
00:40:02.599 --> 00:40:07.159
any final words, doctor Asia,
Uh, talk to your partner's face to

496
00:40:07.239 --> 00:40:10.280
face and on the phone. To
keep your business off social media and out

497
00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:15.039
the streets. Absolutely, Why why
why go to social media? You know,

498
00:40:16.280 --> 00:40:21.239
ship's already in trouble, you know, why why make it worse,

499
00:40:21.360 --> 00:40:25.199
you know, by letting everybody know
how you feel? And why do something

500
00:40:25.239 --> 00:40:29.880
to embarrass your spouse? And she
commented on him being a parent, and

501
00:40:30.039 --> 00:40:32.119
as you said, she mentioned that
she loves her man. Then you need

502
00:40:32.159 --> 00:40:36.880
to show it. Yeah, show
it when you're in public and when he's

503
00:40:36.920 --> 00:40:39.159
not around. And if you know
he's not gonna like that outfit, you

504
00:40:39.239 --> 00:40:44.079
need to at least discuss it with
him before your ass goes out there.

505
00:40:44.119 --> 00:40:47.719
Because I don't remember anything else about
her except her as you gonna remember her

506
00:40:47.760 --> 00:40:52.880
ass from that way. So I
hope you guys enjoy today's segment today's show

507
00:40:53.760 --> 00:41:00.599
talking about Kiki Palmer boundary issues,
communication and establishing some rules and don't air

508
00:41:00.719 --> 00:41:05.360
out your grievous is on the internet, you know, but know your partner.

509
00:41:05.719 --> 00:41:07.679
So you guys have been watching two
therapists on a microphone. I am

510
00:41:07.719 --> 00:41:12.760
doctor Harrison Davis and I'm doctor Asian
Dickerson. Tune in next week and Monday

511
00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:15.280
evening at seven o'clock PM and we
will see you guys. Then have a

512
00:41:15.280 --> 00:41:51.679
great week. I like that.
I like that. I like that,

513
00:41:55.440 --> 00:42:30.840
like that, like that, like
Lger like it, LG Lger like like

514
00:42:31.039 --> 00:42:42.199
it, like it likegen