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Welcome listeners to another episode of Fast
Food Horror. In this episode, we

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take a peek into the offices of
the Angel of Death in this tale entitled

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aod inc by E. J.
Miller. For Sephony, please hold my

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calls for the next hour. I
have to review these cases from the new

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hires. Thank you. And for
Sephony, call Charon over at Sticks and

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cancel our lunch meeting. Just reschedule. Tell him it'll be my treat at

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that old Greek restaurant Olympus. Thank
you. Honestly, that man is obsessed

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with boats. How he can even
stomach to eat a meal on one is

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ridiculous. The waves, the constant
up and down, the pitching, the

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rocking. I'm getting nauseous just thinking
about it. Speaking of which, for

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Sephony, yes, please take the
rest of the day off. Yes with

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pay. You're welcome. Enjoy your
day. Bye. The only thing worse

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than eating a meal on a boat
is your attitude. It is such a

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downer, so depressing. Blah blah. My husband is the devil, blah

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blah. All right, let's review
these case flots for Sephanie. When she

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could buster her up, the ambition
separated these three new hires from the arrest

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to have, in her opinion,
impressive task completions. Let's see if they've

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figured out how to effectively and efficiently
execute their job. And let's see who

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is angel of death of the month
amongst the new hires. Case eleven dashed

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twenty four to sixty six. Claim
Luke Stephens, AOD agent intern Mega Ah

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Bob from Accounting's Kid. Let's see
how this claim played out. The claim

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Luke Stephens had gone out to a
local establishment and met with friends for a

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few beverages on Friday evening. After
a few games of pool and many many

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failed attempts to convince a mate to
accompany him home to his trailer, he

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called it a knight and began the
drive home through the Louisiana Bayou. It

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was during this drive I found my
opportunity to initiate the claim. I conjured

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a tornado to run through his trailer
park and strike his dwelling exactly upon his

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arrival. Unfortunately, the claim decided
at that moment to pull over, exit

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his vehicle, and relieve himself along
the roadside, then inexplicably stare into space,

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delaying his arrival. So I diverted
the twister to hit his neighbor's front

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yard, Miss Dorothea Dix, who
was an avid collector of yard gnomes and

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flamingoes. I had the twister hurled
the flamingos in the claim's direction. One

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flamingo with its steel stake, struck
the claim through his abdomen. I felt

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satisfied that this would be a fatal
blow, and yet it was not,

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as the claim began to remove the
stake from his body. Upon extricating the

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flamingo, he held it aloft like
a victorious knight wood after unsheathing a sword,

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which is when he was struck by
lightning by the storm I had created

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to bring about the twister. I
watched him stagger then fall into the water

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of the bayou. I figured the
lightning had done the job, or he

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would at least drown. However,
the cold water must have shocked his nervous

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system, as the claim began to
splash about and began to wade out of

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the water, making a terrible noise, which is what attracted the gator that

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swam up behind him and ate the
claim. Claim executed at two thirty two

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am Saturday. Well, that was
remarkable. Wasn't it good effort that Gator

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saved you? Though? Let's see
what our next intern did. Case nineteen

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Dashed twenty two sixty one claim Buster
Fireball McCoy, AOD agent in turned Hermes

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the claim stuntman. Buster Fireball McCoy
was readying his custom built performance motorcycle with

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a booster rocket attached outside the Palace
Casino for his latest show. On this

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date, he was scheduled to perform
a death defying stunt where he would race

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down the main street in front of
the casino at more than ninety miles an

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hour, take his bike through a
four story loop de loop, then take

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flight as he exited the bottom of
the loop, igniting a rocket and driving

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his bike off the ramp and over
a large reflecting pool, landing safely on

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the other side. I saw my
opportunity and put my plans into play.

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Through the power of suggestion, I
placed the thought in the casino owner's head,

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how much more picture esque it would
look for the thousands in attendants and

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those watching at home, not to
mention, for the publicity photos that they

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could use on social media and advertisements
if the fountains in the reflecting pool were

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on. I reinforced this by nudging
his pride that since he was paying the

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tab, it was the least Buster
could do. After Buster acquiesced to this

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small request and not seeing the danger
the fourteen foot plumes of water could present,

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I then conjured up a slight breeze
blowing from east to west. This

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made sure that any and all missed
made from the fountains would be blowing directly

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up Buster and specifically his rocket propelled
motorcycle. At exactly nine fourteen pm Central

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Standard time, Buster came hurtling down
Main Street building up to ninety miles an

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hour, with a light mist dampening
him as he entered the loop. I

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watched with the rest of the audience
in awe as he climbed the four story

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loop to its summit, then rocketed
down the other side, completing the three

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sixty to the crowd's delight, and
coming up on the exit of the loop

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and the ramp. I watched as
Buster tensed and waited for his moment to

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ignite the booster rocket at the base
of the ramp at more than ninety miles

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an hour to propel him successfully over
the reflecting pond and now the unplanned fountains.

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At the exact moment, Buster hit
the button on the throttle to ignite

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the rocket just feet from the end
of the ramp, but because it was

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damp, it did not ignite.
A panic, Buster hit the button again

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and again and was launched into the
air at less than the speed he anticipated

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or needed to clear the reflecting pool. At the moment he hit the apex

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of his height from the ramp.
In mid air, some forty feet up,

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Buster went to pull the rip cord
on his emergency parachute. The parachute

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deployed, but was wet due to
the mist and served little purpose as he

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began to drop to the earth.
However, it was at that moment the

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rocket ignited and sent a surprise and
damp Buster up, up, up,

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and into an electronic bit bill board
advertising accident attorneys Eisenberg, Katzenberg, Heisenberg,

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and Wiener. I am still a
waiting for the final report, but

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it appears Buster was electrocuted upon high
impact with the electronic sign The claim was

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fully executed at nine eighteen pm Central
Standard time. WHOA, I did not

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see that coming, and probably neither
did Buster. I'll have to set a

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reminder for myself to find that video
on YouTube and our final intern bo,

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let's see what he has done.
Case twenty one Dash thirty four thirty one

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Claim Travis Scott, AOD agent intern
bo. The claim Travis Scott was taking

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a joy ride with three other highly
inebriated friends in a small, cramped compact

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vehicle they had borrowed from the owner
without his permission, down a twisting mountain

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road late one evening. It was
during his descent that Travis the driver noticed

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the brakes no longer worked. Perhaps
this is why the owner had the vehicle

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parked in the driveway and not in
the garage. Perhaps this was the reason

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there were tools scattered around the vehicle
when they found it. Perhaps this was

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the reason why it was so easy
to steal, as the door was unlocked

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and the key still in the ignition, all of which I made sure they

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did not take into consideration, as
I consistently suggested and amplified to all what

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a great adventure this would be,
and they would look back at it and

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laugh when they were older and sober. Travis, in a moment of self

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preservation, realized that at his speed
and the continued downward descent of the road

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they would surely crash horribly, and
Travis, without saying a word to his

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friends, jumped from the vehicle.
Travis tumbled and rolled across the road and

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then down the side of the mountain, breaking an arm and suffering many cuts

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and abrasions before coming to rest in
the middle of the road. You see,

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the mountain road was a switchback,
a zig zagging path down the steep

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mountain. Travis staggered to his feet
and got his wits about him just before

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a car, the car he had
abandoned with his friends still in it.

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The car his friends saw he had
jumped from and quickly gained some control of,

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came barreling down the mountain side and
struck him, sending him again tumbling

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down the side of the mountain.
Again, he rolled and tumbled down the

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steep mountain side, breaking ribs before
he again found himself in the middle of

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the road. Travis staggered to his
feet just in time to get struck by

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a vehicle, the same vehicle he
had abandoned, the same vehicle that had

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struck him the first time, The
same vehicle being operated by his highly intoxicated

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friends, who could only manage to
steer and get one leg into the driver's

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side where the brakes didn't work.
I report that the claim was struck four

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more times four more times by the
same vehicle, six times in total,

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suffering multiple injuries, none dealing the
fatal blow. However, the claim,

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after rolling and tumbling down the final
embankment, came to rest at the bottom

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of the switchback road at the feet
of a Sasquatch who carried him off to

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her den. As it was unfortunately
mating season, the claim was finally then

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executed hours later at approximately seven thirty
seven am Pacific time. I can't,

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Oh my, I just can't.
Who brought this guy into the company?

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Sasquatch? Death by Sasquatch? How
just how? Just give it to Hermes

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and I'll have to send an email
to HR for intern Bow to have additional

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training. Oh my gosh, death
by Sasquatch.