WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:02.839 Hi, everyone, Welcome back to another podcast episode. My name is Alicia 2 00:00:02.879 --> 00:00:06.080 Gogan, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you expand 3 00:00:06.120 --> 00:00:08.960 your mind and become more self aware so that you can glow up into the 4 00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:14.560 best version of yourself. Hello, how are we doing today? We are 5 00:00:14.599 --> 00:00:21.120 talking about stress, anxiety, your nervous system because you know what, something 6 00:00:21.160 --> 00:00:24.480 that I know is true about all of us. We are stressed out girlies, 7 00:00:24.719 --> 00:00:27.079 and we need to stop that. This is the year of not being 8 00:00:27.120 --> 00:00:34.439 stressed now. I started my soft life journey probably a year and a half, 9 00:00:34.520 --> 00:00:37.320 almost two years ago, and when I mean soft life, I simply 10 00:00:37.399 --> 00:00:41.560 mean living a more stress free life. And of course on the podcast we 11 00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:46.479 talk heavily about healing in her Child healing, a lot of mindset work, 12 00:00:46.719 --> 00:00:52.479 getting ourselves into the best version of ourselves. Now. One thing that's really 13 00:00:52.520 --> 00:01:00.000 important when it comes to healing is understanding that your body is such a huge 14 00:01:00.119 --> 00:01:04.920 tributor a big player when it comes to how you're feeling obviously on a day 15 00:01:04.920 --> 00:01:10.239 to day basis. And although we can really work on our mindsets, and 16 00:01:10.359 --> 00:01:14.599 we can journal and we can emotionally release, there are going to be things 17 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:18.920 that we need to do on a physical level to help keep our nervous systems 18 00:01:19.239 --> 00:01:23.239 at bay Aka in rest and digest So we have a lot of things to 19 00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:25.719 talk about. I have a lot of notes. I want to talk about 20 00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:27.840 the nervous system quickly. I want to talk about fight, flight, freeze, 21 00:01:27.879 --> 00:01:32.640 and fond responses very quickly. I want to talk about some tips to 22 00:01:32.760 --> 00:01:37.359 help you manage anxiety in the moment if you're feeling really triggered or really stressed. 23 00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:40.319 But I also want to again talk about some of the things that help 24 00:01:40.599 --> 00:01:44.640 you maintain a healthy nervous system. Things that I have learned over the years, 25 00:01:44.680 --> 00:01:47.799 things that I've learned in courses, things that I've learned with my somatic 26 00:01:47.840 --> 00:01:51.840 therapist, not just a regular talk therapist, and things that I've seen when 27 00:01:51.879 --> 00:01:55.640 working with other people and honestly just my friends or just you know, being 28 00:01:55.680 --> 00:01:59.599 that friend who always gives the advice and always working through my stressed out friends, 29 00:01:59.640 --> 00:02:01.159 like I see a lot of things. I just want to say, 30 00:02:01.200 --> 00:02:05.599 though I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist. You can take or 31 00:02:05.719 --> 00:02:08.319 leave whatever it is that you want from this podcast. This is again just 32 00:02:08.719 --> 00:02:13.439 suggestions, my advice, things that have worked for me. I'm going to 33 00:02:13.479 --> 00:02:16.080 give you some resources as well, because obviously I don't know every single thing, 34 00:02:16.360 --> 00:02:20.879 and I wouldn't be able to even give you everything all the information in 35 00:02:20.919 --> 00:02:23.000 one podcast episode. But I'm excited to talk about this one thing. I'm 36 00:02:23.039 --> 00:02:27.560 in a note and you can only really understand this if you are watching on 37 00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:30.000 YouTube. By the way, if you're new here listening to the podcast, 38 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:35.319 I do have a YouTube channel of my podcast episodes. If for one day 39 00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:38.000 you want to see me and watch me, you can watch me on YouTube 40 00:02:38.039 --> 00:02:40.120 the Globe Seeks podcast. I'll have it linked in the show notes. But 41 00:02:40.280 --> 00:02:46.840 I went to my friend's house the other day for the Midsummer Swedish party that 42 00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:49.439 they had, and her name is Tess. I'm sure you guys have heard 43 00:02:49.439 --> 00:02:53.919 of her, and she has a podcast, a busy blooming podcast, and 44 00:02:53.039 --> 00:03:00.879 she has just built this like podcast nook. And now it's really inspiring me 45 00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:06.000 to get my ass up and get something in this freaking corner. Like I 46 00:03:06.039 --> 00:03:07.719 have been talking about it for how long now, guys, and I still 47 00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:12.360 haven't gotten anything in this freaking corner. I want a chair, I want 48 00:03:12.360 --> 00:03:15.039 a little nook. I want to get a light as well. I'm going 49 00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:19.280 to order it listen. When I come back from Calgary and I'm done living 50 00:03:19.319 --> 00:03:23.960 my coastal calgirl life, I promise you I will dedicate some time, effort 51 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:28.759 and money into some sort of nicer visual for you guys. I just wanted 52 00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:31.400 to mention that because I am very inspired after being at her place and seeing 53 00:03:31.439 --> 00:03:35.680 her studio. And by the way, this is part five, I believe 54 00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:39.039 of our summer glow Up series. So if you are new here and you 55 00:03:39.080 --> 00:03:43.599 have not listened to the previous four episodes, you can go listen to it. 56 00:03:43.680 --> 00:03:46.000 I mean, you can start with this. It's totally fine. But 57 00:03:46.280 --> 00:03:51.039 we are doing a series throughout the summer and I am addressing mental, emotional, 58 00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:53.759 physical, all of the things to help you really glow up into the 59 00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:57.800 best version of yourself, because we are well rounded girlies here. All right, 60 00:03:57.960 --> 00:04:00.639 So when you talk about the nervous system first, because I don't know, 61 00:04:00.840 --> 00:04:02.479 maybe some people don't really know what the nervous system really means. And 62 00:04:02.759 --> 00:04:06.080 again I'm not like a full on expert, and I'm not even going to 63 00:04:06.120 --> 00:04:09.919 make this very difficult. I am going to pull up something and I'm going 64 00:04:09.960 --> 00:04:14.800 to read it so you understand just the basics of what is your nervous system. 65 00:04:14.919 --> 00:04:17.879 So for today we are going to just talk about the two sides in 66 00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:21.759 a way of the nervous system. That's not really how you would really think 67 00:04:21.759 --> 00:04:25.279 about it. There's not like a certain side, like a left side or 68 00:04:25.279 --> 00:04:28.720 a right side every nervous system. But there's two sides we're gonna talk about, 69 00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:32.439 okay, And one of them is called the sympathetic nervous system, aka 70 00:04:32.680 --> 00:04:36.759 your fight or flight response. And I think when we are talking about nervous 71 00:04:36.759 --> 00:04:42.120 systems or being stressed, that's probably what you've heard before your fight or flight 72 00:04:42.199 --> 00:04:46.639 respond. I'm very stressed, and the sympathetic nervous system is very beneficial for 73 00:04:46.759 --> 00:04:50.279 us. It prepares our body to deal with stress. This part of your 74 00:04:50.319 --> 00:04:56.720 nervous system as well produces cortisol and adrenaline. It also will increase your blood 75 00:04:56.759 --> 00:05:00.199 pressure and your heart rate, and it also decreases your dig There's a lot 76 00:05:00.199 --> 00:05:02.720 of other things that it does. But the reason why it does that is 77 00:05:02.759 --> 00:05:10.360 because this nervous system response is preparing your body to fight or flight. So 78 00:05:10.600 --> 00:05:14.279 this is obviously really good. If let's say we were living in fields back 79 00:05:14.279 --> 00:05:16.120 in the day and there was bears or there was lions or there was whatever 80 00:05:16.560 --> 00:05:21.000 and we needed to run. Well, we need our body to kick in 81 00:05:21.199 --> 00:05:26.759 cortisol, kick in adrenaline, take away that energy that is used to digest 82 00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:30.319 food and give it to ourselves so we can run away or that we can 83 00:05:30.360 --> 00:05:33.000 fight something. It's very, very useful. So when we perceive something to 84 00:05:33.079 --> 00:05:36.720 be a threat, our body will kick on that nervous system and we will 85 00:05:36.759 --> 00:05:42.040 have that energy to be safe, to be alive. It's a great response. 86 00:05:42.600 --> 00:05:46.000 The problem, though, is our bodies don't know the difference between a 87 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:51.800 real or a perceived threat. So this day and age, there are many 88 00:05:51.879 --> 00:05:57.439 things in our day to day lives that turn on our fight or flight response 89 00:05:57.680 --> 00:06:00.639 when it's not actually needed. Now. A while back, when I mean 90 00:06:00.680 --> 00:06:03.759 a while back, probably like two years ago, I took a stress resilience 91 00:06:03.839 --> 00:06:08.759 course and I really loved it, honestly, and I want to talk more 92 00:06:08.759 --> 00:06:13.240 about it. But anyways, I pulled up this paper because it lists out 93 00:06:13.279 --> 00:06:16.240 all the ways in which our bodies can perceive something to be a threat and 94 00:06:16.360 --> 00:06:18.680 turn on that fight or flight response. So I'm just going to read some 95 00:06:18.720 --> 00:06:24.920 of them so you can really take it in here. Financial pressures, employment, 96 00:06:25.319 --> 00:06:30.040 toxins, allergens, death of a loved one, emotional stress, repetitive 97 00:06:30.079 --> 00:06:34.800 stress, psychological stress, marital stress, lack of enjoyable and rejuvenating activities, 98 00:06:34.959 --> 00:06:41.639 lack of relaction, lack of sleep, over exertion, negative attitudes and beliefs, 99 00:06:41.639 --> 00:06:46.600 trying to be perfect, being in the position of powerlessness, unwanted unemployment, 100 00:06:46.040 --> 00:06:50.480 fear, coffee, caffeine, smoking, sugar and white flower products, 101 00:06:50.720 --> 00:06:55.319 lack of good food, and the list goes on. Okay, so there 102 00:06:55.360 --> 00:07:00.360 are a lot of emotional things that will create this fight or flight response. 103 00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:04.040 There's a lot of physical things like food such as processed food and caffeine that 104 00:07:04.079 --> 00:07:08.879 can trigger our fight or flight response. There's a lot of behavioral things like 105 00:07:08.959 --> 00:07:12.800 literally checking your phone. All of these things can turn on our fight or 106 00:07:12.839 --> 00:07:16.120 flight response. Now, this is a problem because our body is not meant 107 00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:19.360 to always stay in this fight or flight state. By the way, just 108 00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:21.800 quick note, if you're watching on YouTube, I'm sorry that the sun is 109 00:07:21.800 --> 00:07:24.519 going to come in and out. We're just going to allow it to be 110 00:07:24.560 --> 00:07:27.759 what it needs to be today. And the reason why it's not good to 111 00:07:27.800 --> 00:07:30.240 always be in fight or flight obviously is because like I just said, it 112 00:07:30.360 --> 00:07:33.639 is increasing your heart rate, it's increasing your blood pressure. It is taking 113 00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:39.399 your energy away from your digestion to use for something else as it thinks it 114 00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:43.480 needs for you to run away from. It also releases cortisol, It releases 115 00:07:43.519 --> 00:07:46.720 adrenaline, and too much cortisol, too much a generaline that is going to 116 00:07:46.839 --> 00:07:51.319 disregulate your hormonal profile. You are literally going to feel like you are ready 117 00:07:51.360 --> 00:07:56.240 to fight or flight at all times. That's not a good feeling to have 118 00:07:56.600 --> 00:08:01.279 when realistically you don't need to run or fight. So obviously, there is 119 00:08:01.319 --> 00:08:05.720 a lot of real sometimes or perceived threats that can happen in our lives. 120 00:08:05.160 --> 00:08:11.240 Now. A lot of us we have nervous systems that we're once primed to 121 00:08:11.319 --> 00:08:15.720 be in fight or flight, and we got stuck there in a way, 122 00:08:16.120 --> 00:08:18.720 and we got stuck there because of trauma. So again, a natural, 123 00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:22.639 healthy nervous system, it can ebb and flow back and forth into fight or 124 00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:26.680 flight or rest in digest which I know we haven't really talked about yet, 125 00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:30.600 but from turning on and off of the nervous system fight or flight. But 126 00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:35.320 sometimes what's a really big challenge for us is now in our adult lives, 127 00:08:35.720 --> 00:08:39.759 we have perceived threats or maybe not real threats whatever. Even though we know 128 00:08:39.879 --> 00:08:43.159 that, let's say, someone who's not texting us back is not really something 129 00:08:43.159 --> 00:08:46.639 that we need to turn on our fight or flight respond on for. Because 130 00:08:46.679 --> 00:08:50.159 we've always been in this fight or flight response, first of all, we 131 00:08:50.200 --> 00:08:54.440 are more easily susceptible and triggered to when somebody doesn't text us back. And 132 00:08:54.519 --> 00:08:58.519 on top of that, because we have this nervous system that never really turned 133 00:08:58.600 --> 00:09:05.120 off, never really learned how to process a perceived threat, it's going to 134 00:09:05.159 --> 00:09:07.840 be even harder sometimes for us to get out of that fight or flight response. 135 00:09:07.960 --> 00:09:11.639 And so it's important for you to work on your mental state in the 136 00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:15.600 way that you're perceiving this stress, but on top of that for you to 137 00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:18.440 have practices so that your nervous system is always not triggered all the time, 138 00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:24.039 and or in the moment when you are getting triggered, to have practices to 139 00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:28.000 bring yourself back down. So let's quickly talk about what causes a disregulated nervous 140 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:31.159 system. So when I mean dysregulated nervous system, it basically just means, 141 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:35.240 like girl, you're always in fight or flight, like you're perceiving everything to 142 00:09:35.279 --> 00:09:37.159 be a threat, even if it's real. Even if it's not. Whatever 143 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:41.159 it is, your nervous system is giving, weak, it's giving, fragile, 144 00:09:41.240 --> 00:09:45.480 and we love it. We can work on it, but you know 145 00:09:45.559 --> 00:09:48.120 it needs some help. So, like I said, trauma is one of 146 00:09:48.159 --> 00:09:52.120 the biggest things that disregulates nervous system. So I'm just going to read off 147 00:09:52.120 --> 00:09:56.159 this little page that I have here. What causes a disregulated nervous system A 148 00:09:56.279 --> 00:10:01.159 trauma or an event in the past that we could not at that time, 149 00:10:01.559 --> 00:10:05.919 so it didn't complete and it got stuck within our nervous systems. So this 150 00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:09.799 is a thing right when we let's say, I will give you an example 151 00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:13.360 of literally something that you wouldn't think as a trauma, but it technically is 152 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:18.120 when you are a baby and you are getting nursed on your mom's beautiful little 153 00:10:18.200 --> 00:10:22.879 nipple and it's time to probably be weaned off. That can be considered a 154 00:10:22.919 --> 00:10:28.000 trauma because that is something that you don't know how to deal with yet, 155 00:10:28.039 --> 00:10:31.639 but your mom is going to be there to aid you in obviously having more 156 00:10:31.720 --> 00:10:37.440 milk through a bottle, So in that moment, you are resolving a trauma. 157 00:10:37.639 --> 00:10:41.240 Same thing goes with literally if you fall and you break your leg or 158 00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:45.720 something. You go into the doctors and they fix it. They're resolving the 159 00:10:45.759 --> 00:10:50.759 trauma. Well, what happens when trauma like you falling, or you getting 160 00:10:50.759 --> 00:10:54.559 weaned off, or things being taken away from you, and you not understanding 161 00:10:54.720 --> 00:10:58.279 what happens when there's nobody there to fix it, to fix the broken leg, 162 00:10:58.480 --> 00:11:03.000 to help you heal, to help you understand that the food is coming. 163 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:05.320 Even though you're getting taken off of this one life force, you move 164 00:11:05.399 --> 00:11:11.360 into survival mode. You stay in this fight or flight because you believe your 165 00:11:11.399 --> 00:11:15.399 body, not really you, but your body believes it needs to be on 166 00:11:15.559 --> 00:11:20.399 it needs to find survival. And when you are perceiving or your body is 167 00:11:20.440 --> 00:11:24.799 ready for survival, it is gonna stay releasing cortisol. It's gonna stay releasing 168 00:11:24.840 --> 00:11:30.440 the adrenaline. It's gonna stay not giving you the energy you need to digest 169 00:11:30.440 --> 00:11:33.840 your food. And I know for a fact, I had a lot of 170 00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:37.200 different chilblems that I went through, and I was always in fight or flight. 171 00:11:37.240 --> 00:11:41.799 When I was younger, I had really bad stomach issues. And I've 172 00:11:41.799 --> 00:11:45.639 heard many therapists say this, especially in the somatic world, but realistically a 173 00:11:45.679 --> 00:11:50.440 lot of them, and you hear this a lot like when children have constant 174 00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:54.519 stomach aches or they have constipation, and they have just like you know, 175 00:11:54.600 --> 00:12:00.279 even a lot of people who have chronic bloating IBS IBD, and I got 176 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:03.919 diagnosed by the way with IBD. A lot of the times it's stress induced. 177 00:12:03.960 --> 00:12:07.919 It's because children or people are under high levels of stress. Even if 178 00:12:07.919 --> 00:12:13.039 you don't think that this child is going through this huge traumatic event, we 179 00:12:13.080 --> 00:12:18.120 are constantly going through so many many traumas in our lives that can affect our 180 00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:22.279 bodies on a physical level. Another thing that's saying here what causes a dysregulated 181 00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:28.960 nervous system is continued exposure to danger and stress. So again let's think about 182 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:35.159 maybe somebody who hasn't had a very traumatic childhood, but you were under constant 183 00:12:35.200 --> 00:12:39.519 emotional stress. So for me, when every single time that I came home, 184 00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:43.919 I didn't feel that safe around my father, and I don't really, 185 00:12:43.960 --> 00:12:46.600 I don't mean that, actually, I don't take out the really, I 186 00:12:46.639 --> 00:12:50.080 don't mean that in a way that I felt like I was in danger, 187 00:12:50.399 --> 00:12:54.279 like he was going to do anything to me or somebody was going to do 188 00:12:54.320 --> 00:12:58.720 something to me. But emotionally I was suppressed. I was scared I wasn't 189 00:12:58.759 --> 00:13:03.159 able to express my emotions like I've talked about in last week's episode, and 190 00:13:03.240 --> 00:13:09.559 that continuous emotional stress causes me my nervous system to still be in that fight 191 00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:11.759 or flight. Now, other things that cause a disregulated nervous system. It 192 00:13:11.799 --> 00:13:16.879 says living in an unsafe environment, kind of like my experience. Again, 193 00:13:16.440 --> 00:13:20.120 it could have been the fact that you were maybe afraid of for your life, 194 00:13:20.120 --> 00:13:24.720 like actually like you were somebody who got abused or whatever it happened. 195 00:13:24.759 --> 00:13:28.200 But again, it can just be even the emotional stress. Another thing here, 196 00:13:28.200 --> 00:13:31.519 it says life transitions such as death, pregnancy, divorce, etc. 197 00:13:31.919 --> 00:13:33.639 So obviously, you guys know, like there's so many ways in which that 198 00:13:33.679 --> 00:13:39.480 we experience stress on a daily basis. So when you are younger and your 199 00:13:39.519 --> 00:13:45.320 nervous system is primed to just be in fight or flight, it makes sense 200 00:13:45.360 --> 00:13:50.120 why when you get older you are anxiously attached. Somebody who's not texting you 201 00:13:50.159 --> 00:13:52.919 back is triggering you like crazy. You're going out into the world and you're 202 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:58.840 really overwhelmed by things that shouldn't really overwhelm you. So it's really to understand 203 00:13:58.080 --> 00:14:01.519 and kind of look back in your past, in your childhood to see was 204 00:14:01.519 --> 00:14:05.159 I under a lot of emotional stress, a lot of physical stress, a 205 00:14:05.159 --> 00:14:09.480 lot of mental stress, like what was the standard? What was the living 206 00:14:09.519 --> 00:14:13.320 situation? And again I think going back to last week's episode can definitely help 207 00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:16.200 with that. But honestly, like, you don't even need to do that 208 00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:20.159 much digging to know most likely you probably are in some sort of dysregulated nervous 209 00:14:20.200 --> 00:14:24.879 systems some of the times, because most people honestly are, like, there's 210 00:14:26.159 --> 00:14:30.720 very few people who are very regulated, and like, even if we're talking 211 00:14:30.720 --> 00:14:33.200 about attachment styles or who have a healthy, secure attachment style, it's not 212 00:14:33.240 --> 00:14:37.679 to say that it doesn't happen and people aren't and you can't move into that, 213 00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:41.480 but it obviously takes time. But let's quickly talk about the different types 214 00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:46.679 of trauma responses aka different states of being in that fight or flight response, 215 00:14:46.759 --> 00:14:50.960 because you might not be able to really identify what state you're currently in right 216 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:54.440 now, So let's quickly talk about fight because I feel like a lot of 217 00:14:54.519 --> 00:15:00.000 us here that the most so signs that you are in a potentially fight response. 218 00:15:00.480 --> 00:15:03.279 You have a temper and have angry outbursts, you're aggressive, You might 219 00:15:03.320 --> 00:15:07.600 be somebody who dominates and controls others. You might be somebody who likes to 220 00:15:07.639 --> 00:15:11.840 pursue power and control. You might be impulsive with decision making. You might 221 00:15:11.879 --> 00:15:16.720 be assertive, but not the healthy assertive, basically a bully. And the 222 00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:20.559 list goes on and for me going through some of these responses, I can 223 00:15:20.679 --> 00:15:26.039 definitely see different phases of my life where I was in certain trauma responses. 224 00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:28.840 I think when I was a teenager and I had a lot of anger towards 225 00:15:28.879 --> 00:15:33.399 my mom and I was just a teenager, I was definitely more in that 226 00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:37.120 fight response, like I was angry, I did want to have control my 227 00:15:37.200 --> 00:15:41.759 life all right. Next one is the flight response, So we have feelings 228 00:15:41.759 --> 00:15:48.240 of panic and anxiety. You might be a workaholic, obsessive and or compulsive 229 00:15:48.279 --> 00:15:52.279 behaviors, always on the go and staying busy, over worrying, perfectionists and 230 00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:58.039 overachiever, hyperactive and over analytical. So I think a lot of us probably 231 00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:03.799 fall into that kind I know when I moving from being a teenager into the 232 00:16:03.879 --> 00:16:07.200 years of when my mother was going through her addictions and I really had to 233 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:12.639 just become that adult, I moved into this flight response, this survival mode 234 00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:18.039 of worrying and trying to be perfect and trying to honestly just survive. These 235 00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:22.000 are all survival mechanism and that's what we need to understand about all of these. 236 00:16:22.039 --> 00:16:27.120 Okay, the next one is the freeze response. So this can look 237 00:16:27.159 --> 00:16:34.480 like depression, disassociation, brain fog, avoids human contact, detached, struggles 238 00:16:34.480 --> 00:16:41.159 with making decisions, hibernating, lifeless, slash, feeling dead inside, feeling 239 00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:44.080 spaced out, and the list goes on, and I think for sure some 240 00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:45.639 of you guys probably can resonate with that. And the last one we'll talk 241 00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:49.919 about is the fawn response, which I think is not really talked about that 242 00:16:51.039 --> 00:16:53.440 much, but I actually think a lot of especially us women, we have 243 00:16:55.600 --> 00:17:00.480 been in that state before. And this is people pleasing codependent, has a 244 00:17:00.519 --> 00:17:04.920 hard time standing up for themselves or saying no, has lack of boundaries, 245 00:17:06.039 --> 00:17:11.599 avoids conflict, highly concerned with fitting in, etc. So maybe you have 246 00:17:11.640 --> 00:17:15.000 a combo of all four or maybe two or one, or maybe you go 247 00:17:15.519 --> 00:17:18.640 back and forth depending on who it is you're you're around. I know, 248 00:17:18.680 --> 00:17:25.039 for me, certain relationships, especially with men, I move into fawn state. 249 00:17:25.279 --> 00:17:27.880 Now. Now I obviously don't move really into it that much, and 250 00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:32.319 I can tell when I am. But I move into fawn state because I 251 00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:34.119 was in fond state around my father, because that was the way that I 252 00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:40.400 knew that I could be safe and protected is if I people pleased for him, 253 00:17:40.440 --> 00:17:42.240 If I, you know, did everything, be a good girl and 254 00:17:42.440 --> 00:17:45.400 follow the rules and not rock the boat, I know that I can move 255 00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:48.799 into free state. A lot of the times, when I am too overwhelmed, 256 00:17:48.839 --> 00:17:52.599 when I have too many things on my plate, when I'm feeling disconnected 257 00:17:52.640 --> 00:17:57.039 from my work, when I'm pursuing things that are not actually what my soul's 258 00:17:57.079 --> 00:18:02.920 calling for, I get into this state of just freezing, like stuck, 259 00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:06.839 disassociating. I don't want to do anything. I don't feel I'm just stuck. 260 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:11.759 Obviously being in flight mode, that's when I'm really in that worry word 261 00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:15.160 mode. I am overthinking things. I am not trusting the universe, I 262 00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:19.200 am not trusting in myself, I am not trusting in others. I am 263 00:18:19.240 --> 00:18:23.400 alone, I am isolated. Things like that, and then obviously the fight 264 00:18:23.640 --> 00:18:26.880 mode. I really don't get into that. Really all I think that was 265 00:18:26.920 --> 00:18:32.599 again the oldest part of my trauma response was that fight. But of course 266 00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:36.319 that can definitely come up if somebody really hurts you, right, or somebody 267 00:18:36.519 --> 00:18:40.160 you know is not showing up the way that you need them to in your 268 00:18:40.160 --> 00:18:44.160 life. So just really recognizing how maybe you show up in any of these 269 00:18:44.200 --> 00:18:48.759 ways and taking a moment to reflect on who around you or what things are 270 00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:52.680 triggering you to get into these certain states. Now, I think no matter 271 00:18:52.720 --> 00:18:56.279 what state that you're in, recognizing that you are in a state like either 272 00:18:56.359 --> 00:19:00.960 four of them, it is really helpful that you do some emotional releasing. 273 00:19:02.039 --> 00:19:06.319 So again, like I was talking about in last week's episode, really releasing 274 00:19:06.359 --> 00:19:08.359 your emotions, sitting with your emotions. And I also found something that could 275 00:19:08.359 --> 00:19:11.480 be really helpful too, and it's called the cycle of emotional regulation. So 276 00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:15.160 it's a fourth step process. And anytime that you're feeling or you're like aware 277 00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:18.599 that you are feeling some sort of emotion, this is something that maybe you 278 00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:22.000 could follow as well. So Number one, notice and name the emotion. 279 00:19:22.279 --> 00:19:26.279 Notice that you're experiencing an emotional reaction. Then name what that emotion is, 280 00:19:26.759 --> 00:19:30.200 So is it sadness, is it fear? Is it rejection? The next 281 00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:36.880 step is accept the emotion, except that emotions are normal, do not judge 282 00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:40.720 the response. Accept and validate that you are feeling the way that you are. 283 00:19:41.279 --> 00:19:45.240 It is okay that you feel emotions. We demonize emotions when we feel 284 00:19:45.240 --> 00:19:47.480 them, when we feel sad, when we feel unomfortable, when we feel 285 00:19:47.480 --> 00:19:49.559 afraid, when we feel X, Y and Z. Accept it, It's 286 00:19:49.559 --> 00:19:53.720 okay. There's a part of you that's feeling this way. Be you with 287 00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:56.880 yourself instead of running away from it. And I know it can be scary, 288 00:19:56.920 --> 00:20:00.519 and that's why people don't want to deal with their emotions. But a 289 00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:04.599 lot can come out of you actually being with yourself for once and not demonizing 290 00:20:04.599 --> 00:20:11.240 emotions. And honestly, this society doesn't do a good job at telling ourselves 291 00:20:11.240 --> 00:20:14.759 that it's okay, especially with men. Right they tell them emotions are bad, 292 00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:18.200 but come on, emotions are just emotions. It tells us a lot, 293 00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:22.119 actually, and it can really guide us and navigate us in this world 294 00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:26.799 if we actually listen to what's going on within. The third step, which 295 00:20:26.839 --> 00:20:30.680 kind of piggybacks off of the listening is be curious about the emotion. How 296 00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:34.160 does this emotion feel, where do you feel it in your body? How 297 00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:37.079 is your breathing? What else is coming up for you at this moment? 298 00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:42.119 And the last step is allowing and releasing the emotions. Allow your thoughts to 299 00:20:42.119 --> 00:20:45.599 come and go, release the urge to fight back with your emotions, and 300 00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:51.559 release any judgment, Take deep breaths, and let the sensation just be now 301 00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:55.160 Again one more time, you can go back to last week's episode to talk 302 00:20:55.200 --> 00:20:57.640 more about the emotional release practice that I was talking about, which I think 303 00:20:57.720 --> 00:21:00.319 is so important. But I do think when you realize that you're in any 304 00:21:00.319 --> 00:21:03.799 sort of trauma response, any sort of like emotions that's coming up, for 305 00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:07.400 you to kind of sit with yourself and really move with these emotions that are 306 00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:12.000 coming up within you. So let's bring it back to anxiety. How I'm 307 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:17.759 going to talk about anxiety right now is really more from the fight or flight 308 00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:22.839 response and ways in which you can manage your anxiety or your fight or flight 309 00:21:22.920 --> 00:21:26.839 response when you are getting triggered. So something to understand is that when you 310 00:21:26.920 --> 00:21:32.559 are perceiving something to be going wrong in your life, not only are you 311 00:21:32.920 --> 00:21:37.680 mentally like being stressed, but again your fight or flight response turns on. 312 00:21:37.039 --> 00:21:42.039 So you start producing cortisol adrenaline, your heart starts racing, you could be 313 00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:47.480 sweating. You literally are feeling the sensations of anxiety. So the first thing 314 00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:51.640 that can be helpful in the moment when you are struggling with being triggered, 315 00:21:51.839 --> 00:21:56.119 feeling anxiety, whatever it is, is to understand that there is a perception 316 00:21:56.200 --> 00:22:00.440 that you are having about this thing that is creating a physical response in your 317 00:22:00.440 --> 00:22:03.960 body. Now we're going to talk about on the flip side as well, 318 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:07.519 because some people will say it starts with your nervous system and then you start 319 00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:11.119 perceiving things a different way. But whatever, we'll unpack that if we need 320 00:22:11.160 --> 00:22:15.319 to. But let's start here. But what's been very helpful and beneficial to 321 00:22:15.400 --> 00:22:18.960 me, okay, to me when I am dealing with anxiety or I'm getting 322 00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:22.680 triggered, is to first try to my best, Okay, try my best 323 00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:27.680 to change the perception of what it is that I am seeing in my immediate 324 00:22:27.720 --> 00:22:33.359 life. I'll give you example. When you are realizing that somebody is pulling 325 00:22:33.400 --> 00:22:37.359 away from you, it creates anxiety within you. You start overthinking, you 326 00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:41.400 start stressing, you can't eat, you're feeling a pit in your stomach. 327 00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:44.960 You're not able to get up and think straight and move your body and do 328 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:49.079 whatever you need to do because the thing that you are thinking about, aka 329 00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:55.359 the person pulling away. You have a story going on about what this means. 330 00:22:55.599 --> 00:22:57.640 Maybe it means to you that this person doesn't like you, they're walking 331 00:22:57.720 --> 00:23:02.319 away for good. Most this is triggering a feeling that you once felt in 332 00:23:02.400 --> 00:23:06.000 childhood when somebody did leave you, or did abandon you, whatever it is, 333 00:23:06.039 --> 00:23:10.640 there's a story attached to the thing that you are currently experiencing. So 334 00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:15.640 doing your best to change the story that will be more favorable to you to 335 00:23:15.720 --> 00:23:22.039 help you ease your anxiety. Not jumping to conclusions, not making assumptions, 336 00:23:22.279 --> 00:23:26.960 talking to friends or family that can help you see the story and the situation 337 00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:30.160 a little bit differently, being able to cultivate a new inner dialogue within your 338 00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:36.599 mind, telling yourself it's okay that this person has distanced themselves. You are 339 00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:38.440 still going to be fine. It doesn't mean X, Y, and Z 340 00:23:38.599 --> 00:23:42.839 whatever you're thinking that it means just because you've experienced this once in your life, 341 00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:47.039 these are really good things to get better. Ats. One more thing 342 00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:51.160 I'm going to say about anxiety, though, is I have heard people say 343 00:23:51.200 --> 00:23:52.960 this, like some of my friends, and it's funny because we explore it 344 00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:57.039 and then we come to conclusion. But some people will say, I, 345 00:23:57.119 --> 00:24:00.519 all of a sudden just have anxiety. I have no idea why I'm having 346 00:24:00.519 --> 00:24:03.799 it right now. And listen, I'm not saying that it doesn't just happen 347 00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:07.799 out of nowhere, right because your nervous system could be so easily triggered by 348 00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:11.920 things that it's really not you perceiving anything to really be a threat. Your 349 00:24:11.920 --> 00:24:17.079 nervous system is so literally jacked up that it's time for you to do some 350 00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:21.480 management, which we will talk about in a moment, but it's really important 351 00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:26.200 for you to ask yourself the question of why is it right now that I 352 00:24:26.279 --> 00:24:30.599 am feeling anxiety? What am I thinking? Or what did I just think 353 00:24:30.680 --> 00:24:33.240 before I started to feel this anxiety? What is going on in my life? 354 00:24:33.319 --> 00:24:37.640 It's somebody just say something to me, and now I'm feeling anxiety. 355 00:24:37.039 --> 00:24:41.119 Am I going through in a relational issue right now? Am I going through 356 00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:44.559 a financial stress? Am I thinking about something that I have to do in 357 00:24:44.599 --> 00:24:48.200 the future? And now? Really it's creating this anxiety within me. Trying 358 00:24:48.359 --> 00:24:52.839 your best to put your finger on why it is you are feeling this way, 359 00:24:52.920 --> 00:24:57.359 and I just think that that it helps sometimes because when anxiety takes over 360 00:24:57.440 --> 00:25:00.480 your body. Sometimes you feel well, you do feel very out of control. 361 00:25:02.119 --> 00:25:06.599 And I really love to be empowered and to be able to take control 362 00:25:06.720 --> 00:25:10.480 of my life and myself and my health. And if I'm telling myself the 363 00:25:10.519 --> 00:25:12.880 story of I have no idea why I'm feeling anxiety right now, I can't 364 00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:17.359 do anything about it, then guess what I'm going to be at the mercy 365 00:25:17.400 --> 00:25:21.519 of my anxiety. And I personally believe there's so many things that you can 366 00:25:21.559 --> 00:25:23.880 do to combat this anxiety. But if you have a story I have no 367 00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:26.440 idea why, and Nope, this is just how it's going to be, 368 00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:30.279 then that's how it's going to be. But what a crappy way to live. 369 00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:33.480 And I really do think there's things that we can do. So just 370 00:25:33.880 --> 00:25:38.920 being aware of what you thought about before you started feeling anxiety, Who said 371 00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:42.279 something to you, what situation is happening in your life, and be honest 372 00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:47.359 with yourself and honestly sometimes I experiment with my friends, and so many times 373 00:25:47.759 --> 00:25:49.759 when I've had one of my close friends come to me and she's like, 374 00:25:51.319 --> 00:25:53.519 I'm feeling so much anxiety right now. I'm triggered right now, and I'm 375 00:25:53.559 --> 00:25:56.200 like why, And then she'll be like, I don't know. I'm just 376 00:25:56.240 --> 00:25:59.599 feeling like this right now, like I have no idea why, And truly 377 00:25:59.680 --> 00:26:02.680 she is convinced that she has no idea why. And then we'll get on 378 00:26:02.759 --> 00:26:04.720 the phone and I'll be like, okay, well, what did you just 379 00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:10.440 do before you told me that you were feeling anxiety? While I was sitting 380 00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:14.279 in my room and I was spiraling, okay, what were you thinking about? 381 00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:18.960 Well, I was thinking about my relational issue that the third the guy 382 00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:21.920 didn't text me back. He said this, whatever, I'm like, okay, 383 00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:26.359 so you thought about the fact that your relationship issue is going down the 384 00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:30.759 drain right now or he's not texting you back, and did you make meaning 385 00:26:30.799 --> 00:26:33.519 out of that thing? Well, yeah, I did. I think that 386 00:26:33.559 --> 00:26:36.960 he doesn't like me now because he didn't text me back or whatever. We 387 00:26:37.079 --> 00:26:40.640 go down this hole inside a rabbit hole, and she's like, yeah, 388 00:26:40.680 --> 00:26:45.400 okay, so I just thought myself into freaking anxiety right now. So it's 389 00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:49.000 just sometimes helpful to really be honest and think about for a moment, what 390 00:26:49.559 --> 00:26:53.240 is going on that I am perceiving to be a threat right now. And 391 00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:59.319 literally the other day I felt this wave of anxiety coming on to me, 392 00:26:59.640 --> 00:27:03.559 and I know exactly why I was feeling anxiety. There was about one or 393 00:27:03.559 --> 00:27:07.759 two things, the stories, the perception of the thing that I was stressing 394 00:27:07.799 --> 00:27:11.079 about, that created the anxiety within me. And I had to work on 395 00:27:11.119 --> 00:27:15.039 my mindset shift around that thing, which really eased my anxiety. But on 396 00:27:15.079 --> 00:27:19.920 top of that, I was depleted in sleep and I had also drank alcohol 397 00:27:21.160 --> 00:27:26.200 the day before, and I know alcohol can definitely induce anxiety, and so 398 00:27:26.279 --> 00:27:29.279 in that moment, I knew it wasn't just going to be enough for me 399 00:27:29.319 --> 00:27:32.880 to just like change my perception of things. I needed to move my body. 400 00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:36.319 So even though I wasn't feeling very good and I wasn't even able to 401 00:27:36.319 --> 00:27:38.240 sleep at that point, I was like, I'm going to put on a 402 00:27:38.279 --> 00:27:42.000 podcast, get my mind right, give me enough energy to get out of 403 00:27:42.039 --> 00:27:45.960 my bed. I am going to go to the gym and I'm going to 404 00:27:45.079 --> 00:27:52.480 do twelve three thirty. Really I do fifteen three point two thirty ish even 405 00:27:52.519 --> 00:27:55.400 more sometimes, but whatever, and I'm going to listen to the podcast. 406 00:27:55.480 --> 00:27:57.279 And then also I played some music and I got myself going and I needed 407 00:27:57.279 --> 00:28:03.160 to move my body. So tis it's as simple as doing a workout, 408 00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:08.720 not for anything other than your mental health or going to physically talk to somebody. 409 00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:12.319 You need to have some sort of stimulus to get you out of this 410 00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:15.319 spiral that you are in right now. It's not going to be helpful for 411 00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:19.400 you to just stay in the state and continue spiraling. You need to be 412 00:28:19.440 --> 00:28:22.240 the one to get up and go talk to someone. Obviously, you can 413 00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:26.759 go to therapy, go talk to your friend about it, release your emotions 414 00:28:26.759 --> 00:28:30.559 by journaling, moving your body, starting to fuel your body in that moment, 415 00:28:30.599 --> 00:28:34.039 even if you don't feel like you're super hungry or whatever. Getting in 416 00:28:34.160 --> 00:28:38.599 some nutrients, some water, taking vitamin D can be helpful as well right 417 00:28:38.640 --> 00:28:42.079 in that moment. So, like I said, it's not enough sometimes to 418 00:28:42.200 --> 00:28:45.319 just change the narrative and the perception that you have around a certain story, 419 00:28:45.319 --> 00:28:48.279 because you might just be somebody who has literally been in fireflight for all your 420 00:28:48.279 --> 00:28:53.039 life and your nervous system is very overactive. Okay, So really, anything 421 00:28:53.119 --> 00:28:56.559 like somebody literally walking down the street and looking at you a certain way, 422 00:28:56.599 --> 00:29:00.200 you might all of a sudden go into fight or flight. I know, 423 00:29:00.279 --> 00:29:03.839 for me, I've never actually said this, I don't think on the podcast, 424 00:29:03.880 --> 00:29:07.839 but I was struggling heavily with PTSD from things that I had seen in 425 00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:11.359 my past and I had experienced in my life, and I have worked through 426 00:29:11.400 --> 00:29:14.880 a lot of that, and that's there's a many reasons why I go to 427 00:29:14.920 --> 00:29:18.440 a somatic therapist, but one of them was to really retrain my nervous system 428 00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:22.119 because I would go out into the world and it wouldn't be it wouldn't be 429 00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:26.200 the situation at all, the same situation that I once had PTSD from, 430 00:29:26.480 --> 00:29:32.039 But because my body still remembers that a memory, in that emotion, in 431 00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:34.720 that emotional charge, that trauma, it didn't even matter that I was a 432 00:29:34.759 --> 00:29:40.000 completely different person and it was a completely different experience. My body still got 433 00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:42.480 kicked into fight or flight and my heart started racing, and I started feeling 434 00:29:42.559 --> 00:29:48.079 anxiety and stress, even though I wasn't in that same situation that I was 435 00:29:48.200 --> 00:29:52.440 when I actually experienced that trauma for the first time. So doing daily, 436 00:29:52.880 --> 00:29:57.359 weekly, monthly practices to retrain your nervous system so that it's not so heightened 437 00:29:57.400 --> 00:30:00.680 all the time can definitely be help full. And when I say retrain your 438 00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:06.200 nervous system, this is really moving from that fight or flight response, that 439 00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:11.680 sympathetic response, moving into the rest and digest the parasympathetic nervous system. And 440 00:30:11.720 --> 00:30:14.720 this is the state that you really want to be in because that's where you're 441 00:30:14.759 --> 00:30:18.720 calm. That's when you have energy to digest your food better. That's when 442 00:30:18.839 --> 00:30:22.440 blood flow is going through your body. That is when you have a clear 443 00:30:22.519 --> 00:30:26.759 mental state. That is when you can breathe properly. That is when your 444 00:30:26.799 --> 00:30:33.039 body also repairs itself. So let's first talk about your environment. When I 445 00:30:33.079 --> 00:30:37.680 was living in basically a trap house, I say that lightly, but it 446 00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:41.519 really was in general. When I was living in a very stressful environment, 447 00:30:41.519 --> 00:30:45.000 there was only so much that I could do. Okay, So obviously it's 448 00:30:45.039 --> 00:30:48.720 going to depend on what the environment that you're living in. But doing your 449 00:30:48.720 --> 00:30:53.839 best to make your environment calm and like a sanctuary for yourself. Okay. 450 00:30:55.039 --> 00:31:00.359 So I couldn't control what was going on in the outside world in my home. 451 00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:03.640 All I could control was my bedroom. So I made sure to have 452 00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:10.480 my bedroom calm and clean at all times, organize. I made sure to 453 00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:14.359 always have candles going. I made sure to have incense going. I made 454 00:31:14.359 --> 00:31:18.160 sure to always have fresh air going, opening up my blinds, making my 455 00:31:18.400 --> 00:31:23.160 environment as calm as possible. Another thing that I would do is I would 456 00:31:23.279 --> 00:31:27.119 leave my stressful environment. And this is going to be true for even if 457 00:31:27.119 --> 00:31:33.240 it's not your home that's very stressful, you know, work environments or school 458 00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:37.000 environments. I'm not saying obviously leave your work or your school, but you 459 00:31:37.039 --> 00:31:41.200 know, maybe on your breaks instead of you staying in these stressful environments. 460 00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:42.759 And again, this doesn't need to be very toxic, right It could be 461 00:31:42.839 --> 00:31:48.799 simply like you sitting in the cubicle for lunch when realistically you can go outside 462 00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:52.079 and have a freaking lunch break outside, go for a walk, or stop 463 00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:57.200 being around people who are constantly gossiping and chattering and stressing yourself, or you 464 00:31:57.319 --> 00:32:01.079 sitting on your phone and scroll when you could be going outside for a ten 465 00:32:01.160 --> 00:32:07.160 minute walk. These small or big things will make a huge difference with your 466 00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:10.079 nervous system. If you're somebody who's complaining about why you're so stressed and so 467 00:32:10.119 --> 00:32:15.400 much anxiety and whatever, you have to do these small little things to help 468 00:32:15.480 --> 00:32:20.079 retrain your nervous system to stay in that rest or digest. Again, coming 469 00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:24.640 back to the list that I read out, small things like caffeine and scrolling 470 00:32:24.680 --> 00:32:30.839 on your phone or listening to other people gossip will start to trigger you into 471 00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:34.079 fight or flight. I remember also when I was a server. Oh my 472 00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:37.119 gosh, was that ever a very stressful environment for me. But I remember 473 00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:42.279 I because I knew how important it was to calm my nervous system down. 474 00:32:42.440 --> 00:32:45.400 When I would come into the back room, I would literally put my hand 475 00:32:45.480 --> 00:32:46.720 on my heart and like one on my stomach, and I would do like 476 00:32:46.839 --> 00:32:52.160 three deep breaths and just be with myself for a moment throughout my shift, 477 00:32:52.200 --> 00:32:54.200 and I would go back out and it would be super stressful, but I 478 00:32:54.200 --> 00:32:58.000 would come back to myself and I would breathe for a moment. I would 479 00:32:58.000 --> 00:33:00.440 go to the washroom if I needed to take a moment, I would drink 480 00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:05.799 some water and be really tapped into my senses. And this is the thing. 481 00:33:06.519 --> 00:33:09.160 You are not always going to know that your body is in fight or 482 00:33:09.240 --> 00:33:14.000 flight. Right, Yes, you're going to know when you're really anxiously attached 483 00:33:14.119 --> 00:33:16.960 or you have a lot of anxiety, But the subtleties of you being in 484 00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:21.960 fight or flight or even fond or freeze, sometimes you don't even really know. 485 00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:23.799 And you know, when we were younger, we didn't even really know. 486 00:33:23.920 --> 00:33:28.960 But again, simply you being on your phone first thing in the morning 487 00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:31.559 that can stress and start to produce a lot of cortisol and adrenaline and all 488 00:33:31.559 --> 00:33:35.839 of these things, and you're not really noticing, but over time it will 489 00:33:35.960 --> 00:33:38.160 tax your body, and then you have diseases, and then you really are 490 00:33:38.200 --> 00:33:40.960 getting to the point where you're having panic attacks and you're wondering where the heck 491 00:33:40.960 --> 00:33:45.119 it came from. It didn't happen now, It happened two years ago when 492 00:33:45.160 --> 00:33:49.160 you first started stressing yourself out with every single thing in your life. The 493 00:33:49.240 --> 00:33:52.200 same way that cancer happens. It doesn't just you didn't just get cancer today. 494 00:33:52.640 --> 00:33:58.559 It happened years ago. It started in the body slowly producing years ago. 495 00:33:58.759 --> 00:34:02.480 So understand that these preventative things to help you, and of course, 496 00:34:02.559 --> 00:34:07.519 maintenance another thing that I would do. Knowing when I was done my shift 497 00:34:07.720 --> 00:34:10.920 at work. Even though I was able to manage my mindset and I wasn't 498 00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:15.800 really stressed at work, I knew physically working as a server for eight hours 499 00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:20.719 and constantly being around people and whatever, even though I didn't let it really 500 00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:25.559 mentally affect me, I knew my body was still physically stressed. So I 501 00:34:25.559 --> 00:34:29.880 would come home and I would try and wind down the best that I could. 502 00:34:30.079 --> 00:34:32.199 I would do like a ten minute meditation, I would do some breathing 503 00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:37.000 exercises, I would listen to something that would calm my nervous system, even 504 00:34:37.079 --> 00:34:39.880 though I was like, I don't really need to technically, because like I 505 00:34:39.920 --> 00:34:44.920 don't think that I'm stressed. It doesn't matter. My body is connected, 506 00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:49.280 my body is listening, and I need to make sure that I'm constantly helping 507 00:34:49.280 --> 00:34:52.199 it out. Nothing you can do is having slow morning or night routines. 508 00:34:52.480 --> 00:34:57.239 Again, this is just winding your nervous system down when you've had a stressful 509 00:34:57.519 --> 00:35:00.719 day and then so many things are going on. For me, I like 510 00:35:00.800 --> 00:35:05.079 to do a little ritual of cleaning my place that helps me lower my stress 511 00:35:05.079 --> 00:35:08.239 and just calm down. Cleaning my place, putting down the lights, putting 512 00:35:08.280 --> 00:35:12.840 away my phone, just having a silent night. That really helps me a 513 00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:15.239 scene with mornings, nice slow mornings. Also, another thing can be very 514 00:35:15.280 --> 00:35:22.280 helpful is lessening your sensory overload. So listen, if you are somebody who 515 00:35:22.400 --> 00:35:27.920 let's say you're eating okay, and you're watching TV, and you're scrolling on 516 00:35:27.960 --> 00:35:31.079 your phone and your freaking best friend is on FaceTime with you, at the 517 00:35:31.119 --> 00:35:37.760 same time, that's too much sometimes, okay, so let's relax, let's 518 00:35:37.880 --> 00:35:40.119 lessen the load. Even you know, there's a trend going on right now, 519 00:35:40.239 --> 00:35:45.840 silent walks. Go for a silent walk like once a week or you 520 00:35:45.880 --> 00:35:49.599 know, I don't know however many walks you do at Hawker Walks, make 521 00:35:49.679 --> 00:35:52.239 one of them with nothing, no podcast, no music, no anything, 522 00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:57.480 and feel into how that actually feels. I promise you you will notice a 523 00:35:57.519 --> 00:36:00.679 difference in your nervous system, babe. That is your nervous system moving into 524 00:36:01.039 --> 00:36:06.480 rets and digest when you are feeling very at peace when you're doing your silent 525 00:36:06.519 --> 00:36:08.239 walks. I promise you. Another thing I'd like to do when I go 526 00:36:08.280 --> 00:36:13.639 into social situations because there's a lot of nervous systems, right There's a lot 527 00:36:13.679 --> 00:36:15.400 of people, there's a lot of faces, you don't know where to go, 528 00:36:15.519 --> 00:36:20.039 there's a lot. What I like to do is when I'm moving into 529 00:36:20.039 --> 00:36:23.760 a social situation is literally bring my attention instead of on everyone else. And 530 00:36:23.840 --> 00:36:27.719 I know it can be hard because everyone else is there, I bring my 531 00:36:27.760 --> 00:36:30.599 attention back onto myself for a moment, by coming back to my breath, 532 00:36:31.199 --> 00:36:37.599 looking around, scanning the room, I'm not letting myself just make a decision 533 00:36:37.639 --> 00:36:39.559 on where I should go or who I should talk to. Yet I'm simply 534 00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:45.360 just noticing. I'm noticing the faces, I'm noticing what people are wearing, 535 00:36:45.400 --> 00:36:50.280 I'm noticing the sounds. I'm noticing what's going on in the actual environment. 536 00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:53.480 I'm noticing what I'm feeling. I'm noticing if I'm feeling any attension. Usually 537 00:36:53.519 --> 00:36:58.039 I'll feel a lot of attension and then I'll just release it for a moment 538 00:36:58.079 --> 00:37:00.599 and just be with myself and then I will decide where I want to go. 539 00:37:00.920 --> 00:37:04.800 Then I'll go and talk to someone, or I'll go grab a drink, 540 00:37:04.880 --> 00:37:07.119 or I'll go whatever whatever it is that I do. So really, 541 00:37:07.159 --> 00:37:12.760 just bringing your attention back to yourself when you are in high stressful situations can 542 00:37:12.800 --> 00:37:15.159 be very helpful, and I know it can be difficult, but it's something 543 00:37:15.159 --> 00:37:19.719 that you need to cultivate. So just thinking about your environment when you go 544 00:37:19.800 --> 00:37:22.800 out in the world or when you're in your home, things that might be 545 00:37:22.920 --> 00:37:27.480 turning on your fight or flight response, and ways in which you can change 546 00:37:27.519 --> 00:37:30.960 them just a little bit subtly to help you calm down again. Being in 547 00:37:30.960 --> 00:37:36.159 that rest or digest it helps your digestive system, it helps your body, 548 00:37:36.239 --> 00:37:38.599 your health of your body. Not only you're going to feel better, but 549 00:37:38.639 --> 00:37:42.400 you're literally going to look better, You're going to glow better. When we're 550 00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:46.239 talking about IBS and IBD and freaking health issues, a lot of it is 551 00:37:46.440 --> 00:37:53.000 you being highly stressed. You taking one supplement like a bloating supplement is not 552 00:37:53.039 --> 00:37:58.960 going to help you when you are constantly mentally and emotionally stressed. Okay, 553 00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:02.679 so obviously the thing that's really helpful is working on your sleep habits. So 554 00:38:04.079 --> 00:38:07.239 again, you falling asleep right before bed with your phone in your hand is 555 00:38:07.280 --> 00:38:12.039 not helpful. What I like to do, especially when I'm really really triggered 556 00:38:12.079 --> 00:38:15.280 about things and I'm really going through it and I'm really stressed. But even 557 00:38:15.480 --> 00:38:21.480 maintenance right is listening to either white noise or guided meditations on self love, 558 00:38:21.679 --> 00:38:24.079 healing, nervous system like whatever it is that I'm stressing about, I can 559 00:38:24.119 --> 00:38:28.519 find a guide meditation on and I fall asleep to that, or even some 560 00:38:28.559 --> 00:38:31.679 of my favorite YouTubers or voices that really can soothe me in that moment can 561 00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:36.280 help as well. And actually my heal To manifest Guide, which is a 562 00:38:36.320 --> 00:38:38.480 journal prompt guide that you can get if you want a link in the bio. 563 00:38:38.559 --> 00:38:43.239 But in that guide, I have a lot of resources that I put 564 00:38:43.400 --> 00:38:46.519 for you to go to when it comes to healing your nervous system and just 565 00:38:46.599 --> 00:38:52.239 like resetting your stressed out mind and body. But you can go on the 566 00:38:52.239 --> 00:38:57.159 Mindful Movement on YouTube. They have really good guide meditations, night meditations, 567 00:38:57.239 --> 00:39:00.079 morning meditations, like everything. Really another thing that can be very helpful for 568 00:39:00.400 --> 00:39:06.079 you, know, being really highly stressed, is to do movement that slows 569 00:39:06.159 --> 00:39:10.639 down and regulates your nervous system, like pilates, yoga, weightlifting that is 570 00:39:10.679 --> 00:39:15.840 not high intensity, but it's like really just like more slow movement. It's 571 00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:17.239 still getting your heart right up. It's not to say that it's bad to 572 00:39:17.239 --> 00:39:22.119 do that, but really slowing things down and taking your time with movement. 573 00:39:22.280 --> 00:39:27.960 If you find you're a highly stressed person, sometimes doing hit workouts and strenuous 574 00:39:28.159 --> 00:39:31.199 cardio workouts might not be the best for your nervous system and your hormones, 575 00:39:31.320 --> 00:39:36.519 especially when your adrenals or attacks because you're always in fight or flight, Cortisol 576 00:39:36.599 --> 00:39:39.639 is always shooting up, adrenaline's going It's actually very important that you calm your 577 00:39:39.639 --> 00:39:44.239 nervous system. Now, like I said, when you're managing anxiety, sometimes 578 00:39:44.239 --> 00:39:46.719 you need to move the body and you need to do that high intensity workout 579 00:39:46.719 --> 00:39:50.960 and getting yourself moving. And I think it's really good when you're trying to 580 00:39:51.000 --> 00:39:55.079 do more of that maintenance and preventative to have some exercise that is slowing down 581 00:39:55.119 --> 00:40:00.239 the body. Now, eating habits, of course, eating healthy, ole, 582 00:40:00.599 --> 00:40:07.000 nutritious foods are going to help your body relax. When you have highly 583 00:40:07.039 --> 00:40:12.039 processed foods and sugar, what happens is it raises your blood sugar. It 584 00:40:12.159 --> 00:40:15.559 literally gives you anxiety sometimes, like when I have a lot of sugary foods, 585 00:40:15.840 --> 00:40:20.119 it gives me this huge high and then I drop down. That's not 586 00:40:20.159 --> 00:40:23.280 good for the nervous system. So eating whole foods, healthier foods, more 587 00:40:23.400 --> 00:40:28.280 fibrous rich foods. Come on, we need to do this, We know 588 00:40:28.360 --> 00:40:31.199 we need to do this. Also, like I was saying about alcohol, 589 00:40:31.960 --> 00:40:40.719 alcohol does definitely create a lot more anxiety aka anxiety. So if you're somebody 590 00:40:40.719 --> 00:40:45.679 who does consume alcohol, just be aware of that. Definitely be aware of 591 00:40:45.679 --> 00:40:47.920 that as well, especially when you are going through hard times. Like for 592 00:40:49.039 --> 00:40:52.639 me personally, if I'm ever going through a breakup, or if I'm going 593 00:40:52.639 --> 00:40:55.280 through a hard time in general, or I'm stressed about things, I actually 594 00:40:55.519 --> 00:41:02.960 move so incompletely far away from any substance because I know that even in the 595 00:41:04.039 --> 00:41:07.199 moment, maybe I'll feel great, i can go out and have a shout 596 00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:09.079 with my friends and it'll be fun, but like three seconds later, I'm 597 00:41:09.119 --> 00:41:13.840 gonna be in my feelings about something and the next day I'm gonna feel even 598 00:41:13.880 --> 00:41:17.199 worse. So when you are going through hard times or you are somebody who 599 00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:22.679 is dealing with depression and anxiety, I know that a lot of the times 600 00:41:22.679 --> 00:41:25.559 what people do is they go to those substances because it helps them numb the 601 00:41:25.599 --> 00:41:31.079 pain. But the pain is going to be so much worse when you do 602 00:41:31.159 --> 00:41:35.679 things like drink or you smoke, or you do whatever it is. And 603 00:41:35.719 --> 00:41:37.800 this is a thing. When you are taking care of yourself, you're eating 604 00:41:37.800 --> 00:41:44.000 well, you're drinking water, you're doing your journal practice, you're making sure 605 00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:47.480 your environment is good, doesn't mean you're going to feel a hundred percent right. 606 00:41:47.559 --> 00:41:52.639 Like you might still have that anxiety that's with you. You might still 607 00:41:52.719 --> 00:41:55.960 be sad, and that's okay. But I feel like sometimes we don't do 608 00:41:57.039 --> 00:42:00.599 these things because we're trying to do these things to make us feel completely happy, 609 00:42:00.639 --> 00:42:05.199 and then when they don't do that, we think that they're not they're 610 00:42:05.280 --> 00:42:07.920 not really doing what it should be doing, and it's not worth doing these 611 00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:13.800 things like moving your body. But I don't care. It is so important 612 00:42:13.960 --> 00:42:17.519 that you do these things, even with the anxiety, even with the sadness, 613 00:42:17.599 --> 00:42:21.880 even with you carrying that emotion, like go to the gym and be 614 00:42:21.960 --> 00:42:23.880 a sad girl. Okay, it is better than you being a sad girl 615 00:42:23.920 --> 00:42:28.000 in bed, I promise you. Other tips that can be helpful when it 616 00:42:28.039 --> 00:42:31.320 comes to your finances actually and your life in general, is to come up 617 00:42:31.320 --> 00:42:36.519 with a plan that will actually reduce your stress when it comes to money, 618 00:42:36.559 --> 00:42:39.559 because I think, actually, such a huge part of the reason why we 619 00:42:39.599 --> 00:42:43.679 are so stressed and we have a lot of anxiety and stuff and we're in 620 00:42:43.679 --> 00:42:46.239 fight or flight all the times is literally because money, like money is so 621 00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:49.599 prevalent, we have to think about it all the time. And then when 622 00:42:49.599 --> 00:42:52.880 we think about with the fact that we don't have money or we're financially in 623 00:42:52.039 --> 00:42:57.159 a rut, it creates a lot of more stress on us. So I 624 00:42:57.199 --> 00:43:00.920 think sitting down and addressing your finances coming up with a budget, coming up 625 00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:05.360 with a plan. Although it can be stressful in the moment, it will 626 00:43:05.400 --> 00:43:08.360 help ease your stress, your anxiety in the long run because at least you 627 00:43:08.519 --> 00:43:12.800 know you have a plan. Like I remember when I was in debt and 628 00:43:12.840 --> 00:43:15.000 it stressed me the f out and I was so scared and I just wanted 629 00:43:15.039 --> 00:43:20.400 to be out of that situation. I knew that setting a plan was going 630 00:43:20.440 --> 00:43:23.760 to help me feel more at ease, even though I was still in debt. 631 00:43:24.039 --> 00:43:27.400 Even though this plan, I looked at it and I was like, 632 00:43:27.480 --> 00:43:29.559 damn, this is gonna take a long time for me to pay off the 633 00:43:29.559 --> 00:43:34.679 school alone or whatever. But I still felt a level of ease because I 634 00:43:34.800 --> 00:43:37.960 knew I was taking those steps towards the lights. So if you are not 635 00:43:38.039 --> 00:43:43.559 somebody who has an organized life plan in place when it comes to your finances 636 00:43:43.880 --> 00:43:47.519 or your work, or your future or anything, take some time and become 637 00:43:47.599 --> 00:43:52.440 that planning girly, like, really create a plan goals for yourself to help 638 00:43:52.480 --> 00:43:55.599 you feel a little bit more at ease. When we feel a lot of 639 00:43:55.599 --> 00:44:00.280 anxiety and stress, it's sometimes it's just because our life is so chaotic. 640 00:44:00.599 --> 00:44:05.440 Let's organize that one thing I want to note is for those who tend to 641 00:44:05.480 --> 00:44:09.880 fall more into the freeze response of procrastinating, putting things off, feeling stuck, 642 00:44:09.960 --> 00:44:15.119 feeling depressed. Coming back to what I said about managing your anxiety in 643 00:44:15.159 --> 00:44:17.639 the moment, it really is good to kind of have some sort of stimulus 644 00:44:17.719 --> 00:44:22.199 to get yourself out of this response. So doing cold showers can help, 645 00:44:22.239 --> 00:44:27.480 again changing the scene, the story of the thing that you're perceiving to be 646 00:44:27.599 --> 00:44:31.920 either a threat or something that you can't handle, or completely moving from the 647 00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:36.599 thing that you're telling yourself that you need to do and doing something completely different. 648 00:44:36.599 --> 00:44:40.400 So like for me, sometimes I will get in the freeze response or 649 00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:44.800 the freeze mode and I start to just like, I don't make a decision 650 00:44:44.800 --> 00:44:49.039 and procrastinate because I have so many things on my plate that I'm telling myself 651 00:44:49.119 --> 00:44:52.280 that I need to accomplish. And when I realize that I'm just procrastinating and 652 00:44:52.280 --> 00:44:55.639 I'm not doing any of the things on the list, I dropped the story 653 00:44:55.639 --> 00:44:59.199 of telling myself that I need to even do any of these things, because 654 00:44:59.400 --> 00:45:01.840 me telling my self that I have to do a million projects is actually not 655 00:45:01.920 --> 00:45:07.000 helping my situation. So let me focus entirely on something else, like to 656 00:45:07.039 --> 00:45:09.199 the point where I will literally say, I'm not doing this work right now. 657 00:45:09.360 --> 00:45:12.800 I'm going to go see my friend, or I'm going to go listen 658 00:45:12.800 --> 00:45:15.000 to music, or I'm literally going to do something that's completely opposite of this 659 00:45:15.039 --> 00:45:17.360 thing. I get. Sometimes we still need to focus on our work and 660 00:45:17.400 --> 00:45:21.480 we need to do things, so obviously it's going to depend, but seriously 661 00:45:21.679 --> 00:45:24.559 do the complete opposite. And then what usually happens is when you go and 662 00:45:24.599 --> 00:45:30.079 live, once you have more life force and energy within yourself, you usually 663 00:45:30.159 --> 00:45:35.400 end up coming to certain insights or you have more energy to put towards these 664 00:45:35.400 --> 00:45:39.239 projects that you were once feeling stagnant in. Now. One book that I'm 665 00:45:39.239 --> 00:45:43.840 going to suggest that you get if you still really want to learn more about 666 00:45:43.880 --> 00:45:49.559 your nervous system is called Anchored. How to Befriend your Nervous System using Polyvagel 667 00:45:49.599 --> 00:45:53.320 theory and Polyvagle theory is a theory in which helps you understand the nervous system 668 00:45:53.519 --> 00:45:58.280 more and the responses that one goes through. And I think it's really really 669 00:45:58.320 --> 00:46:01.280 helpful, honestly for any one who is dealing with any sort of trauma, 670 00:46:01.400 --> 00:46:07.000 any sort of attachment style anxious. This association even when it comes to health 671 00:46:07.079 --> 00:46:12.320 issues, chronic health issues. Honestly, everyone needs to understand about how their 672 00:46:12.360 --> 00:46:17.000 body physically is holding onto trauma and on top of that, perceiving things outside 673 00:46:17.000 --> 00:46:21.880 of themselves to be a threat even when they're not. So. I will 674 00:46:21.880 --> 00:46:25.679 have that link in the show notes. The description the book is by Donna, 675 00:46:25.719 --> 00:46:29.400 and I think it's very, very helpful. But honestly, guys, 676 00:46:29.559 --> 00:46:35.679 I think the first and most important step when it comes to dealing with anxiety, 677 00:46:35.960 --> 00:46:40.400 healing your nervous system, anything, is to listen and to be with 678 00:46:40.480 --> 00:46:46.400 yourself in that moment when you are feeling triggered, when you are feeling anxious 679 00:46:46.599 --> 00:46:51.800 and worried or afraid, be with yourself. There is a part of you 680 00:46:52.400 --> 00:46:55.880 that is afraid for a reason. It has a story attached to this feeling. 681 00:46:57.119 --> 00:47:00.719 Go deeper, sit with yourself, release emotion. Stop being afraid of 682 00:47:00.760 --> 00:47:07.559 yourself. Understand when your body is literally feeling anxiety, your heart is racing, 683 00:47:07.679 --> 00:47:12.679 you have some issues, you have health issues. There is something going 684 00:47:12.719 --> 00:47:16.320 on that you need to look deeper within. It is not a normal state 685 00:47:16.360 --> 00:47:21.800 of being for your body to constantly be in fight or flight. It is 686 00:47:21.840 --> 00:47:25.079 not a normal thing. For you to have digestive issues. And what I 687 00:47:25.159 --> 00:47:31.719 do not love is the society right now, honestly, like everyone on social 688 00:47:31.719 --> 00:47:37.360 media is saying how they're trying to normalize bloating, they're trying to normalize digestive 689 00:47:37.400 --> 00:47:45.800 issues. And listen, it is common that people have bloating and digestive issues, 690 00:47:45.079 --> 00:47:50.079 but that doesn't mean it is normal. That doesn't mean that it should 691 00:47:50.119 --> 00:47:52.199 be a normal thing. It is not normal. I do not care, 692 00:47:52.480 --> 00:47:57.400 and I will say that until the end of day. Because I got diagnosed 693 00:47:57.400 --> 00:48:01.599 with alsative klitis. I had symptoms that resembled IBS, but it was even 694 00:48:01.639 --> 00:48:06.679 worse. It was IBD. I've had chronic pain in my hands. I've 695 00:48:06.679 --> 00:48:09.800 had thyroid issues, I've had adrenal issues. I've had sleep issues. I've 696 00:48:09.800 --> 00:48:15.519 been somebody who has been anxiously attached. I have gone through so many physical, 697 00:48:15.800 --> 00:48:20.599 mental, and emotional situations. And it was because I went through trauma. 698 00:48:20.679 --> 00:48:23.639 It was because my nervous system was in a state of constant fight or 699 00:48:23.639 --> 00:48:29.320 flight. It is not normal to be unhealthy, to be unwell, and 700 00:48:29.360 --> 00:48:32.199 so I'm not going to be here and to normalize these things. What I 701 00:48:32.239 --> 00:48:38.639 will do is to instill some confidence in empowerment within you to realize that you 702 00:48:38.679 --> 00:48:43.960 can change this and you do not have to be afraid because there are answers 703 00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:47.360 out there. But I'm not going to say it's super normal, like just 704 00:48:47.440 --> 00:48:51.719 take a bloating pill. Honestly, there are so many people that I see 705 00:48:51.719 --> 00:48:53.039 on social media and even in real life, like, I don't think I've 706 00:48:53.039 --> 00:49:00.159 ever met anyone who, especially women who have not had stomach issues or are 707 00:49:00.159 --> 00:49:02.679 dealing with constant bloating and constant this, that and the other. And realistically, 708 00:49:02.719 --> 00:49:07.760 everyone's fucking stressed. So let's manage to stress. Let's learn to live 709 00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:10.639 more in a soft life, which is not what you think in terms of 710 00:49:10.920 --> 00:49:16.599 luxury living and spa days and so much money. It is literally sitting with 711 00:49:16.599 --> 00:49:22.199 your inner child, sitting with your emotions, releasing your emotions, moving into 712 00:49:22.280 --> 00:49:27.679 that feminine flow, being in the present moment, relaxing, breathing, taking 713 00:49:27.719 --> 00:49:32.360 care of yourself by eating whole foods, nurturing foods, drinking water, creating 714 00:49:32.400 --> 00:49:37.760 a space and environment that is healthy, that is organized, that is clean. 715 00:49:37.119 --> 00:49:43.239 These are things that your body is responding to. Watch the way your 716 00:49:43.280 --> 00:49:45.880 body changes now. Of course, one thing I do want to say, 717 00:49:45.960 --> 00:49:51.119 if you obviously struggle heavily with this and a lot of trauma that you still 718 00:49:51.119 --> 00:49:54.719 need to work through. Therapy can definitely help. I find going to a 719 00:49:54.760 --> 00:50:00.480 somatic therapist can be very beneficial when it comes to this type of work because 720 00:50:00.480 --> 00:50:05.920 thematic therapists really address the nervous system. You're not just talking talking, talking, 721 00:50:05.920 --> 00:50:07.639 which can be helpful in some sense to go to a talk therapist, 722 00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:10.840 but sometimes you need to get out of the mind and move into the body. 723 00:50:12.760 --> 00:50:16.320 My sematic therapist is available in Toronto if you're interested, because I know 724 00:50:16.400 --> 00:50:20.800 so many of you guys ask. Her name is Rachel Foul and I will 725 00:50:20.840 --> 00:50:25.119 have her information in my description. She also does virtual sessions. She did 726 00:50:25.159 --> 00:50:28.199 tell me that as well, so if you guys don't live in Toronto, 727 00:50:28.239 --> 00:50:31.039 you could probably do that. I would suggest going to a sematic therapist in 728 00:50:31.159 --> 00:50:37.760 person, though that is my personal opinion, and I just think sematically to 729 00:50:37.800 --> 00:50:40.559 help heal you kind of need to be around a nervous system who is also 730 00:50:40.679 --> 00:50:45.280 very regulated. Also, just one more thing, I just want to quickly 731 00:50:45.280 --> 00:50:50.159 mention this one more time boundaries with people when you and this is you have 732 00:50:50.199 --> 00:50:53.079 to get good at really feeling into how you feel around other people, other 733 00:50:53.199 --> 00:50:58.800 nervous systems. But if you're somebody who you feel like is constantly on around 734 00:50:58.800 --> 00:51:02.559 certain people, or feel very anxious or some reason you just have so much 735 00:51:02.679 --> 00:51:07.000 energy around somebody, It's okay to set boundaries those people. It's okay to 736 00:51:07.119 --> 00:51:12.000 say no to hanging out with people who clearly freaking trigger you. It's okay 737 00:51:12.079 --> 00:51:14.800 to put your phone on D and D and for you not to always be 738 00:51:14.840 --> 00:51:19.079 answering your phone to your friend who is constantly stressed all the time, because 739 00:51:19.159 --> 00:51:22.679 guess what, you are picking up that nervous system. You are regulating constantly, 740 00:51:23.239 --> 00:51:28.440 same thing happened when you're in childhood. You're regulating towards that person that 741 00:51:28.559 --> 00:51:31.320 was closest to you. You were codependent on that person most likely as well. 742 00:51:31.599 --> 00:51:36.360 So lots of things that we can dive into. I want you to 743 00:51:36.480 --> 00:51:39.400 let me know on Spotify, because you can't do it on Apple, what 744 00:51:39.480 --> 00:51:43.599 you liked about this episode, If there's anything you want me to dive deeper 745 00:51:43.679 --> 00:51:46.360 into this episode. I believe next week we're gonna be talking about finances, 746 00:51:46.599 --> 00:51:51.760 scarcy mindset, the practical and mindset shifts that we can talk about, and 747 00:51:51.840 --> 00:51:53.920 I think understanding your nervous system and how that plays a role and you just 748 00:51:54.039 --> 00:51:59.079 being stressed in general can help. So I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. 749 00:51:59.360 --> 00:52:02.000 I say absolutely get that book. You can also get my Inner Child 750 00:52:02.000 --> 00:52:07.039 Discovery Journal, Prompt Guide and the Heel to Manifest Guide. Those can definitely 751 00:52:07.079 --> 00:52:08.840 help you on this journey. I hope you guys enjoyed it and I'll talk 752 00:52:08.840 --> 00:52:10.599 to you in the next one. Bye.