We have some new merch, specifically a new shirt. Mary tell them how
they can get it, what it's all about, Why I want to see
them wearing it when I see them on the subway. We have several places
where we have some cool pieces of merch, but we have a new piece
that was custom made for us that I'm really I'm really excited about and I
think people really like it. We had an opportunity to have an artist make
a piece for us, and we had a brainstorm about places that it would
be funny to see us in, and ultimately we went with what would happen
if the fire Escape cast was in space? And the visual is really funny.
It's kind of it's got like lots of secrets if you look in it.
Dan as usual is taking off his helmet and trying to breathe. I
am worried about you and trying to get your hat back on your space hat
as I call it, and Mike don't tell I'll tell them that, Oh,
okay, I'm there, Yes, I'm there doing something. I'm trying
to help it farry. It's a it's a very cheeky design and it's also
done in the colors of our logo. I think it's quite stylish. It
will look really good on a lot of different shirts, sweaters, you name
it. So we're releasing this new, never before made print on a bunch
of T shirts and sweaters as of now. You can check it out.
You can get it by I think the best way to do this is go
to our patreon. There will be a new update for where you can go
to it. If you don't want to go to our patreon and you're fighting
the powers that be, it's bonfire is where we are keeping the shirt,
so it's not where some of our other swag is. But I would go
to our patreon to get the link and just check it out even if you
don't get it. I think it's a very funny shirt. It's it's absolutely
worth looking at. It's it's very funny. I like it. Our socials
we will put out TWEETE check that out our patriot you can get to just
go to firescapecast dot com is the easiest way to get there. Is this
the beginning? Yes? No, no, no, no, okay,
sure yeah, Hey everybody, welcome to Firescape episode sixty three. It's Monday,
September eleventh, and we are here Uh, it is unfortunately a very
somber affair. We're hosting the funeral for Bob Barker and Terry Funk and we
fucking any humans, any humans, this whole name, and we killed a
few people last episode. Uh. We also and it's it's not this actually
is not funny, not that the other two were. It's it sucks when
people die. But they were old. I think they were both very old.
Yes, I talked a lot about Shadow Gambit, the Curse Crew and
Memmi Games. Like days later, maybe even before the episode went up,
or several days after announced that they were They themselves were closing the studio because
it was just getting their mental health. So that's good. It was good
for them. Love to hear Mike at a eulogy. It sucks when you
die. But they were really old. Yeah, so it's really not sad.
I guess that's what's gonna happen when you look up a list of the
peties. But I think did it start with Terry Funk and me being like,
he's the coolest old guy. Who are guys? And we named I'm
not even gonna say the director of Halloween and the thing, because that's what
brought it up. Mary and I were talking about the thing, and then
you mentioned it was John Carpenter if he dies. I sort of got of
John Carpenter died before and you you looked up the list of the oldest living
celebrities, and I guess it's bound to happen. Like if you were to
read off some names on that list right now, they'll I by the time
this episode published. Name five. Yeah, Okay, this is like death
note the podcast Celebrities. I just want to see. Let's don't have this
power. Okay, Bob Barker lived a long life. It's not tragic except
for his family and friends. All Right, So I'm just gonna name things.
Wait, why is Tony Bennett on here? He already died. Yeah,
he dies? This is this is is? This is this an AI
list? Okay, I'm gonna go to listwire. They've never been wrong.
I don't know what that is. Okay, I'm gonna name mel Brooks.
Everyone knows Blazing Saddles and young. He's immortal, he'll never die, He'll
be pl Brooks. He's just bray. He's got to do History of the
World Part two before he dies. It's still coming. What the fuck is
Shecky Green? We got I don't know. Jean Shallott all right, Jean
Shallott's alive. Great, Jimmy Carter's alive. Oh yeah, he's the one.
He's he's. We're waiting for David Attenborough. I think we said to
him last time he might be good dead. Yeah, he's he's a survivor,
he's been out in the wild. Henry kissing her doesn't look a day
over one hundred and two. Oh yeah, that's fine, move on from
him. Okay, we name some names and hopefully none of them die.
Yeah, let's shall we break this curse? Are we like? Let's oh,
let's name but we actually murder people on the show. Let's be a
bit more optimistic. Let's name someone that hasn't been born yet. Charboro.
That's way darker. Hang on in the womb, that's really dark. We
should do this Alan Borough, Charbora Attenborough, Alan Borough, Cluster, Mick
Faddington, thornbore cast s or these are all European chud fuggers. There's got
to be some wombs opening right now with those names. Fuck, that's the
weirdest way to put that. I don't think that's how the anatomy works,
but it's like a holding chamber, right, It's like the garage, right,
Yeah, that's that's where the mechanics are tweaking the baby before they push
him out on the street. Every fifteen seconds a baby is born, but
it is extraordinarily rare for them to be named chud Fuggers. One wonders how
many times it's happened. It's through Starfield character Mike Mary, how are things
going in Bikini Bottom. I'm in the Twitch office and this is one of
our streaming rooms and it's got like like a Twitch streaming chair and a pineapple
with a door and a window in a porthole. So who was it?
Four? Typically, like if the streaming room is that, if like Ninja
is coming by, you just PLoP them in there and let them go.
Yeah, this is where we put Ninja. I would say, this is
where we put anyone who's visiting our offices that streams, Yes, and that
include staff, because there are several staff that stream regularly, including our new
CEO who like started streaming a lot, so he streams out of this room
too. Okay, Yeah, it's an interesting it's it's interesting, but because
of maybe I've worked here for so long now I'm very adjusted to it.
We also have five five rooms, and they have seating, so you could
battle someone in an arena irl and like look at them through the window while
you're like fighting them, and then there's like people who can watch you guys
all play. It sounds like a lot of like QA rooms I've been in
where it's just like, Okay, we're testing those new Gears of War multiplayer
mode. It's five on five and so like we've got these two rows of
seats basically, and like that is actually a really fun way to play games.
It's a neat concept just to like walk by and see sometimes. I
remember this is a while ago because I don't work out of the office anymore,
but I remember seeing a bunch of people who were competing in a Rocket
League Turney, and they were practicing before their big game, and so they
were in the office like buttoning up their strats, like talking to hype each
other up, like getting excited about their players in the office. I thought
that was pretty neat. So we have like a little testing facility here for
esports players. My dad's stock thing. Whenever the stuff like this comes up
it's like, oh yeah, we have that at the post office too,
just the esports testing arenas at at the post office. Every time you visited
Game in Former and saw like a you know Canean Lynch chat, She's like,
oh yeah, we got these all over the post office. That's a
good bit. That's something I would do. Yeah, I would do that
for like, oh yeah we got we got five, we got Oculus,
we got PSVR at the post office. That's a you got a pineapple.
I don't think so these things are coveted. I buy I buyt pineapple,
Like this week, I've been buying fruit lately, and it's like it's good.
It's how excited you are to announce like something Mary and I've been doing
for our whole lives. Costco now and Costco. It's like, here's just
a barrel of grapes or strawberries or whatever for five bucks. It's like,
wait, I'd be a fool not to And I go home and I'm hungry
and normally I'd grab just a bunch of like chips and cheese or something like
that, and now I'm snacking on fruits and it's like this is like legitimately,
it's not like I'm you know, plug your nose and take the medicine
down? Y, Can I ask you? Or sorry? Mary go because
I got I've got a prompt for both of you. Sure. My question
is is Dan, you're not the biggest chef that I know. When you
eat fruit, would you opt for a fruit that requires no cutting, like
a grape or do you actually go for the pineapple that requires quite the like
slicing and diyson in order to enjoy it. If I bought a pineapple and
you sat me down in the kitchen of a world class restaurant, there's no
way I make it out of there with edible pineapple. Okay, if you're
with all the tools in the world surrounding me, there's no way I'm going
to figure out how to get inside that. I think. I don't think
that's true. I think there's plenty of nine lives that would help you get
into it. I mean, but that outside seems really tough. So to
answer the question, I buy it. It's all chopped up. You buy
it when it's I understand what you're saying. So you're not dealing with a
whole pineapple in any scenario. No, but grapes are you know, they
come in the whole. There's just the whole bunch of them, and you
got to take all the stuff out. And sometimes if you don't take the
thing off all the way, you gotta like take a little top of it
off. So I'm figuring I got that, are you? Are you just
describing the process of pulling a grape off its vine correct and strawberries. You
got not eat the green part of the strawberry. So I'm, you know,
poking my way around that and doing it well. So yeah, you're
okay, Well on the optimistic side, I guess you're working your way toward
a pineapple. I'm eating pineapple. I'm just not doing the way I could
show you pineapple. It's easy. You just need a sharp knife. Yeah,
you cut, you cut the top and the bottom, and then from
there you can do like abide. Yeah, oh there's a whole there's a
whole tube on the inside that you don't want, you know, like an
apple, but like as why does it apple? But in a pineapple?
I get freaked that one because like I feel like the ones that taste the
best are the ones that are just like saturated ass, you know, like
just yellow as the as the sun. So it's like sometimes you'll see them
some that's just like barely even yellow. It's just like white, and it
tastes weird, and like I don't know if that's like that weird, Like
cheese crust you're not supposed to eat or it'll kill you. Like so I
don't eat the white the ones that are super yellow. You use this comparison
every time, what cheese crust I think it's called I think it's brit and
it tastes good. You can crust. I've eaten so much brief crust all
the time. It doesn't kill me. It's delicious. I'm not taking chances.
Okay, the yellower the fruit, the sweeter the juices. As they
say, pineapple, absolutely, yeah, I guess is white pineapple under rip
or over ripe? I guess I would say it's under. It's tarder,
it's tougher, and you probably like it sweet. I've always struggled with the
word ripe, because ripe I always thought was this is ready to eat,
This is good, This banana's ripe. You can eat it. But then
like you hear people say it in terms of like stinkiness and stuff it's always
like, oh that is right, like it's a bad thing. So that's
very confused. I don't know. For the record, the latter use of
that word grosses me out. I don't I don't like hearing that someone's ripe,
and I don't know how that what the origin of that phrase is.
But ripe with fruit means it's it's ready to eat. Under ripe usually is
like it's tough or it's tart. Uh. It means it needs more time
on the vine or on the stem. If it's a banana overripe, it's
like brown bananas over okay, r right, So like right right, banana
is perfect. It means it's like prime. Okay, uh, but they're
yeah, but they are like some wines that use under ripe grapes, So
like it's not always a bad thing. But generally speaking, if you want
to bite into a fruit, you want it to be ripe. Is it
perfect? It's the gold the most like overripe grape. No raisins are dehydrated
grapes. That's a whole separate thing. Yeah, okay, an overripe grape
would be like wilted and moldy and smoke gross. Okay, Yeah, ice
wine is grapes that are past their prime because they're sweeter. Yeah, it's
all the Yeah, ice wine. So it's wine that's like really sweet.
A lot of people call it dessert wine. Oh yeah German. But also
many of them are harvested while they're actually still frozen, which crystallizes the sugar
inside, so then it traps the sugar further, adding to a merry said,
which then you put you can actually like harvest it and it's a but
yeah, you wouldn't want to be like drinking a bottle of dessert wine randomly.
It definitely gets sick. It's sweet, it's it's they're very sweet,
like really good ones like diverse demeaners German ones, or like ports if you've
had port before, it's Portuguese dessert wine for the most part. Yeah,
I want to get better about being able to drink wine without having to commit
to an entire bottle because it's like Bonk isn't a big drinker, and like,
you know, a bottle of wine, like I can do it and
it's not gonna kill me. But it's like, I don't know, hangovers
aren't getting any easier as I get older. I would like to feel that
plastic cork in there it still have the metal ones. Like yeah, I
will say if you want to do that. White wines are easier to cork
and save for like the next day or two. Red wines. Red wines
technically speak. And I'm saying this like again, I'm the first person to
tell you some of my favorite bottles of wine or like twelve bucks, Like,
you don't need to be spending a lot of money on wine. However,
when you get into a certain like price range with the right grape,
with the right age, you've got to drink that in one sitting. So
you're kind of like that is why. That's when wine is a group a
group like social thing. I'll hold that bottle of wine for six days,
I don't give a shit, right, but like on that sixth day you've
had that wine. If it was red, it probably tasted a bit vinegary.
I'm assuming yeah. And it's again, if you're having like a twelve
dollar bottle of wine, like no harm, no foul, you could still
enjoy it in its own way when it's there. But like again, when
when you're like invested in a wine, you're supposed to drink it in like
a sitting. But again, Dan, i'd say, like white wines are
easier to have like a glass or two before finishing about I don't know if
you'd like white wines. Yeah, it's all fine to me. If you
have to have a wine, I don't like, that's good I could do,
you know, like generally speaking, like and you don't have to use
like the dumb like I shouldn't say dumb. You don't have to use like
tasting notes that I think you perceive as like wine tasting notes. But if
when you drink wine that you have any of them stood out to you that
you really like, and if every single one of them when I was trying
to use that app every single one of them was a four out of five
and the notes were that it tasted like wine and it was good. Yeah,
I'm trying to get better about it. Like you told me Mike about
like, oh, the right way to drink wines, like you open your
mind, like I look like a drink wine now because I'm going I mean,
I'm like trying to like open my mouth and breathe in while I'm pouring.
It's just like that's how you that's what you taught him right, I
told him to do kind of lingus on the glass of wine. I know,
I don't okay, I had to buy special glasses. Would you be
open at some point to me, like showing you like a non douchey,
like, hey, here's a really good wine that I would embrace that I
would love that. Yeah, it's yeah, I mean it's it's easier when
you sip it because then you can get you oxygenated more in your mouth.
But like, and you don't have to, like you could just enjoy wine
as you're enjoying it. If you're enjoying it, who the fuck am I
to say, like, there's no yes, there's a way to oxygenate it
so you taste more of the wine. But in general, if you're enjoying
it, then I'm not going to stop you from enjoying it because that's great.
It's gonna taste winier. Though it's not like he's gonna be like,
now I taste the notes. Oh that's not true. I think I think
like Dan, I think if you put, if you like, thought as
much about the wine you're tasting as you have about the different taco bell dishes,
which I think like clearly you could. But but you but you gotta
keep in mind, like I still I mean it when I say I can't
tell the difference between coke diet coke pepsi and dipepsie or damping free diapepsi,
Like I can't tell the fucking difference. Like Okay, I've never told the
difference between need diet drink and it's full of sugar counterpart or the high V
brand price Chopper brand thing or the real you know, doctor Thunder or doctor
Pepper, like it all tastes exact, saying okay, well, every every
beer, every beers are in a cuesadilla chee cheese and tortilla. Yeah tang
if that tang? Yeah? What what else? Tell give me more like
open your mouth when you eat it next time and tell me like what you
flavor that's a bite? Yeah? Okay. So maybe this is because because
if you are telling the difference between things you're eating, my assumption is that
you're chewing, and that's that you're getting more action in your mouth. You're
tasting different things. So maybe that's and I'm not again if it like you
don't need to be tasting the difference between coke and wine. Shit, I
wish I could. I genuinely think that. I don't know if I'm just
this way or if I like nuked my taste buds and stuff as a kid,
grown up and only eating the most chemically staturated, you know, crazy
sodium foods on the planet. But you know, I don't smell well when
I mean I I smell good. But when I smell, you know,
with my nose, I walk in and bonk would be like, I mean,
the candle smells so good, and I'll be like, I can't tell
you have said this. That's like, I think it's an actual thing with
it. Yeah, you might just not. I don't know. It might.
It might be a a thing, which is that's fine. If you're
still liking wine, you're still liking all these sodas, and you're still liking
this food, then go for it. That's awesome. Drunk. Yeah,
that's a different way to do that. Yeah, it's you. You texted
me early on when you were starting wine and you're like, oh shit,
you're right. It is a different drunk when you're drinking wine. It is.
To me, it's more relaxed. I get more. I think I
get better at speaking to people and socializing. Very's like, you become a
monster. You think you think I've become very intellectual on wine. Well,
in case some point, I've been drinking wine all night before you guys,
I'm just fucking what's his name lurch from. It's become a monster. I
just had a mama back and then the next day you're like, what an
incredible Bordeaux that Wasn't I gonna taste it until the next day when I'm fucking
vomiting it back up. A little grimlin comes out when we I am no
good on wine because the sugar makes me like angry. I have no good
on wine but alcohol. I've seen you drunk on everything, and you usually
start fights with Jersey moms in the back. I'm a delightful drunk. How
dare you? I'll kill you. I was you don't know I was taking
a dope. You beat on it? She I did beat you. She
opened the door. She picked the lock and opened the door. Fucking Starfield,
Starfield yours? Yeah, she she and then and she was pretty drunk
too, And when I was like, what are you doing? And she
was like, what, what's your problem? And I was like I've been
so clear about this. I've been so clear about my active pooping. I
like that we both Dan and I both revised the story to you pooping and
not just like in my head every time it's sitting equals pooping. But I
guess for ladies it's you could also be being But in my head you are
pooping. Yes, there's different folds involved down there. This istor Oh yeah,
I'm I'm an obgin or whatever it is. Yeah, you know again,
as they say, sorry us in the women's world, ob g.
I n doctors call it obgin as it's an inside It's okay, Yeah,
I know. I I to Mary's point. Maybe I just think I get
more social and better at speaking when I'm drinking wine. But overall I can
say with a certainty that I am more relaxed on drinking whine. It's beer
that I get more energy, like a bad energy sometimes. Uh like clear
liquors, I'm I'm pretty middle of the road. Brown liquors, I'm like,
I don't know where I stand as much with brown liquors. And it's
been a while since I got like drunk drunk on brown liquors. I was
like eight years ago. But I feel like I act the same on any
kind of liquor if I'm drunk, you know, like I think I'm just
always just loud and goofy and happy. I've never been angry, gotten in
a fight or things like that he took a he took a shot of gin
and then killed that guy. Though, well, okay, there's there's Barker
had a comment that's right. I had to prove a point about it,
Disco, No, I like it. One thing I like about wine,
though, is the idea of like it seems like the most sip friendly thing,
and like as I get older, I am trying to like it's silly.
At almost forty, I'm still trying to figure this out. But like
I want to avoid hangovers at all costs, just because it's just like it
drinks, like not like physically the stomach stuff, that's fine, the poop
and stuff whatever. I can deal with that all day. But it's it's
the like it's the weird anxiety and like mental Like some people I know get
this harder than others, Like I get it so fucking hard. And as
I get older, if I like drunk drunk, I will the whole next
day at least it is like this weird dread hanging over me. Yeah,
oh, in serious anxiety when there's no reason for it, even if I'm
just at home doing nothing. So it's like I am trying to like figure
out, like I like drinking. I don't think I'm at a point where
I just want to like stop drinking, but the idea of like sipping on
something or you know, just making little tweaks and stuff to like avoid those
hanger out there's the obviously I've drink more water stuff like that. But I'm
doing the thing now where I'm trying to not ever like go to bed drunk
because I think sleep has so much to do with like just how you feel
the next day. So I'm trying to like cut things off a couple hours
before bed, and that seems to help. So I don't know, I'm
trying to kind of like dial that in, and wine seems like it would
help for that. Yeah, Like right now, lately, I've we've been
traveling so much and busy with work that definitely drank less. And it's just
like it's also a long term thing, like it builds, like if you're
drunk several days in a row, it's going to compile. If you're sober
several, like several weeks in a row, that compiles two to the point
where like three weeks later you're feeling like fucking a million dollars, Like I'm
not anxious. I mean maybe, like not that anxiety is solely tied to
alcohol, but it's like it doesn't help. It's like, oh my god,
I'm waking up feeling rested. I'm getting shit done. Sometimes I'm like
productive as hell by the time like four pm rolls around, like oh this
is great. Like but yeah, I like wine for that purpose as well.
And a lot of like teachers that I had back in the day,
or like people that I know that are super into are like often it's very
many like somalias or just beverage managers or restaurants or bartender think of wine as
more of a condiment to the food you're eating, Like you go to the
you go to certain restaurants, or you go to like high end restaurants or
not even high end, but just people who like really enjoy wine. It's
it's more about what it pairs with and it's so you're eating with it every
time. You're not really like drinking the bottle of wine to get drunk,
unless if you really really enjoy a wine or whatever, and you're just want
the whole bottle like more power too. You go for it if you're loving
it. But like often, like you're having like Thanksgiving turkey, you have
a really good Bojelais with it. It's the interplay between them and one like
it's fascinating, it's fucking crazy. Like what kind of wine would you pair
with a chili dog? Oo a chili dog, assuming there's like human and
a chili dog. I think the human would be a bit spicy. So
you want to kind of like level that out a bit. You don't want
like a cab or a sharas or a sara. You don't want something to
add the spiciness, maybe like a honestly, like a Bojelais or a pinot
noir, something a bit more mild. That's gonna level that out parwell with
it. You want to compliment it. But it's funny. It's like certain
like when you're eating cheese, you swallow it. Okay, let's use bree
as an example. Again, you're eating bree. That's going to even once
you swallow that bite the fat is going to coat your tongue a bit.
The fat, even if you like rinsed out, there's gonna be fat and
oils on your tongue from the bree that pairs well with certain wines, like
a like a Shennon blanc. Like the fat in on your tongue will react
with the wine in a way that actually makes both taste better. That's when
people say that something pairs well with another. Sure, it's about like complimenting
something. In some cases, it's almost like color theory. It's like you
want to compliment certain colors. You want to be the opposite of that,
you want to kind of amplify others. But you're eating like a certain cheese,
The fat's gonna cut your tongue. And then also this cheese, like
a Gouda, is a bit more well nacho cheese with nachos brito's Actually,
Mary, I think this is a well would pair well with the burrito is
a good question. How what kind of are we talking? More like a
nacho cheese, nacho cheese rice? What kind of meat? Uh? I
would say ground chuck. Honestly, go with like a schennon blanc. You
can't go wrong. I'm not kidding. Okay, what okay, believe would
you too believe me if I told you there salsa? Oh yeah, I
think there would be like some guak in the pockets pocket walk, you know,
and you can like dip it if you want it, but if you're
like not into it, you can just avoid it. Okay, this is
not a joke. Amanda. The white wine she's into lately. They're Bordeau
blancs, which have I should you not like, slight hints of halopano and
green peppers. I think a Bordeau blanc like a Chardona, would go really
well with that burrito you just described. And I think you would enjoy the
wine and the burrito more by pairing them together. I would love. That's
what's fun. Sounds awesome, people, okay, people like Honestly, my
favorite wine pairing is sour sour what the fuck are they called sour patch kids?
Watermelons with a Savinon blanc. You don't have to be pairing like fucking
you don't have to be pairing like like a Chateaubriyon with wine. It can
be gummy candy. Amanda and I like one of our favorite white wine pairings
is gummy candy and a Salvion Blanc because the tartness and the Salvion blanc and
Savion blancs often are tart up front and then they kind of level out from
those tannons or not tannons though. The the the acidity, that's the same
fucking thing that sour patch kids do. And you eat those with each other.
Oh my god, that's your Sunday afternoon right there. Somebody has to
have already done that YouTube channel, right they're like, oh, it's the
blue collar wine pairing there. Oh yeah, there is no fuck. New
York Magazine does like the the average joe like whatever you will call them pairings
because somebody people like, that's what gets That's what got my cousin in wine.
He's like, yeah, I always assume, like if I depare something,
you'd be like a camera bearer. And I was like, no,
you can. You can pringles. Go get a fucking crunch rap supreme,
grab a Bojelais with it. You'll they'll both be better. It's awesome again,
Like you can get a good wine for like nine dollars for the bottle,
Like that sounds more fun than mean. Now, this makes me sound
so old and lame, But like the idea of going out with you guys
and we're pairing like wines with goods and stuff like that, and just sipping
and stuff like that sounds cooler to me than go into like a loud bar
and slamming beers and stuff. I know a wine bar that's b y O
food and we could do that. We order, we order like Uber eats
to this bar, and it's a wine bar, and you can bring whatever
you want. They're not going to tell you not to bring taco bell in.
Well, I'm ordering Uber Eats to your wedding. I don't give a
shit to it. I don't think I'm gonna bring I'm gonna bring gummy worms
and drink all your wine cheese in my time when I officiate your wedding.
If people listening have not done like gummy candy specifically, whether you want to
be like gummy bears, those go well with something like a Salvina blanc or
like a Chevli, which is just more chardone. But if you get like
sar Patch watermelons or just sur patch kids, go get like an eight dollar
bottle of Salvinia blanc. I don't care how shitty the Salvenion blanc is.
You do not need to spend money pairless together. Tell me it's not just
fucking send us your best pairings. I want to know. Yeah, this
is actually really fun for me. I want to know people's like unusual pairings,
because you could do a good pairing for like twenty bucks. Tell us
your weird pairings, your little freaks, Yeah, fucking psychos, you little
fucking dipshits. You fucking say at that push pop and tequila. I want
to know what would Yeah, I'm trying to think, what's uh, what's
okay, Mary? What is your favorite junk food candy? Anything candy?
Like, I guess junk food's obviously a flexible term, but like, what's
yours with no nutritional value? Yeah? What's your favorite low brow snack?
I like cool ranch toritos a lot? Okay, I'm a cool ranch girl.
Okay, the right choice so off that I would say, you probably
don't want a super acidic wine because that is just going to kind of build
on the doritos. Honestly, you could probably pair a good red wine with
that. I'm gonna I'm gonna go out on a limb and say, if
you want get a fat bag of cool ranch Doritos, open that ship up
in hell it's bouquet, enjoy it, and then also open up like,
honestly, a mailback is pretty pretty smooth. That would go well with that.
The fruitiness of the mailback would compliment the spicy kind of like a more
creamy sour cream of the cool ranch Toritos. That sounds really fucking good.
I'm okay, I think I like mailbacks. Yeah, do that cool range
tritos. All right, that's in my house right now. Do that?
Try that right, poor a glass later or tomorrow or something or this weekend,
and then just house a bag of Doritos while you're occasionally sipping on it,
you know, like you don't need them obviously, both in your mouth
the same. You don't want to speak for yourself. I'm in the Midwest.
That's how we do things here. Yeah, I know you're back in
the Heartland, and try that out. I think that'd be good. I'll
try it anyway. You're right about the compounding thing when you were talking about
like good decisions too, because like ever since I moved, I was like,
okay, I'm gonna get really serious about like being healthier and active and
stuff and that, like, without fail, every single day I've been like
working out, riding my bike, I've been fucking getting my stepson and shit,
I've been eaten way better. And it's it's amazing how quickly things can
kind of turn around, because like specifically coming back from Belgium, Jack Decker
can tell you when I was, I hurt myself before I got on the
plane, just showering and I could barely walk through the fucking airport. It
sucked. And then that long ass uh fight back my yeah, my lower
back which is in a real bad spot, and I just put on so
much wait over the last several months, I'm moving and all that stuff,
and god damn if like two months since then of just being diligent about it,
and I feel a million times better? Are you Dan? It feels
awesome, It really does, thank you. It's uh so yeah, it's
like that. That's the thing. It's like, look, I love junk
food and I love drinking and stuff, but it's like if you've done three
or four days in a row like you haven't drink and even working out every
day and everything, and then it's like I don't know do I want to
like, Okay, maybe I gonna have a couple of drinks here, but
or like maybe I don't get you know this garbage dinner or something like that.
It's it's it makes it harder to make the bad decisions if you're making
a bunch of good decisions. You know, I think you're right and you're
on the right path. And I have absolutely not done your advice. And
I've gotten so drunk these last right days. I've been drunk, But yeah,
I'm gonna make good decisions that work on the drinking. I've been in
San Francisco for work and so like, I'm catching up with so many old
games media pals, right I've been. I saw a bunch of people from
IGN Game Spot, the kind of funny fam, some Polygon peeps. It
was awesome, And of course, like that just meant that I was in
bars really late, and I was out into like one am last night,
which isn't that late, but for me in my work, waking up at
like seven this morning, I was like, I can't, can I do
this anymore? I felt so crusty. I just felt broken. I had
very conflicting feelings seeing the photos from Packs and everything, because like the whole
Giant Bomb crew was there. I saw you with them. Well, I
drank a lot of joy, like late night photos and stuff on Instagram.
People were like texting me photos and I was like, that's Sunday. I
was like, man, I'm so so much like FOMO. I wish I
was there. But at the same time, I also like did a four
hour bike ride that day, and I was feeling like top of the world,
and I was like, I bet I wouldn't feel as good if I
had gone to Packs, but it would have been really fun. So it's
just like the fucking balancing act is insane. That's the thing about exercise.
It's good for you, but it doesn't cause FOMO. Like, no one's
like I really wish I did Dan's four hour bike ride. We don't know
about that, but you absolutely saw me at a bar with twenty other really
cool people and went, damn, that looks like fun. I think you're
in a good path, but holy shit, like Packs is back last year
I went to Packs and everybody was wearing masks because it was still we weren't
really there yet as a society or like mentally, this year. People were
coming out of the woodwork. Everyone was having a really good time. Drinks
were being purchased left and right for friends and faces that you haven't seen in
a really long time. It was good, and morale was just like really
positive. Everyone was just stoked to see each other. It was a really
exciting time to be back, and it makes me excited for the next convention
again. Maybe we're back to conventions now. Maybe Game Awards the next time
I should be. I'm hoping, are you I assume you guys were gone.
That was last time we did a reunion. It was super fun.
I'm hoping. Not sure yet. We will see. We gotta figure out
what we're doing Game of the Year, because there's that going on. There's
I got two trips already booked in December and a possible third. They might
have to like do December two already in December, oh for Christmas Game Awards,
and one other one that's kind of floating around. So yeah, well
we'll figure it out. Yeah, I'm I'm obviously Game Awards is work related,
but at this point, I'm just I'm getting into October and then I'm
gonna reassess after that. Once things are calmed down in my personal life already.
I guess you guys are coming to all a lot of that. But
yeah, it's well two things Mary that you said. It's like a San
Francisco is hard. It's it's a boozy city. I think people associate.
I think people who have never lived there or have been there much associated with
like health foods and like vegan living. But it's actually like a really like
I've found a meat and potatoes and booze city at least the parts I've seen.
And it's hard, definitely not to drink a decent amount when you're there.
Once you live there, it's different because it's your everyday life. But
like when you're visiting, it's it might as well be New York. It
might as well be anywhere else you're gonna be like having several of those nights
in a row. Yeah, it's a it's a bar situation, like that's
where everybody does. As soon as you leave work, It's like, what
bar are we going to? It's a huge culture here, especially for US
games media people. I assume like most of my memories of game Spot and
really getting close with everyone I worked with didn't happen in the office. It
happened late nights in bars because you would get done with work pretty late,
you're pretty tired, and we would go to a bar and we would drink
and we would like, I don't know, get out our frustrations or like,
you know, our worries. It's a bit of a commune, a
place for us to express ourselves, and I think that was a part of
like the whole deal. Yeah, I was definitely jealous of you guys because
there was so much just like late night, like, oh, the ship's
over, we're gonna play rocket Lag, We're all going out of the bars
and on the other side of the wall and Giant Bomb was very much not
that like, oh, we're all gonna go out of the bar, you
know, dis like, well, okay, you gotta drive back to Pedaluma.
I would always assume that you guys had this like amazing camaraderie, and
you did. You were all very caring and loving of each other. But
you guys didn't rally like we did. We fucking got nasty. We were
constantly like absolutely exhausted, like no sleep when we're like we're going to fucking
what is it. O'Brien's and just and we're just fucking drinking pints together and
we shouldn't be. It was filthy. We were just absolute dogs. Can
you me of like when I was a Game Informer, Like the Game Informer
crew was like that, just like that, you know, family, We're
all going out and hanging out after hours and stuff like it reminded me a
lot of those years. For sure. That's jealous. I mean, every
once in a while we still have it. I felt like last night we
were kind of getting into it a little bit again, like people were getting
weird, like drinks were getting spelled. It was funny to see like a
lot of people still still at it, you know, like we I was
like, we still got it. We're still gross, Like we're still gross.
I still I still remember the first Like maybe granted this was I was
quick on the draw and looking back, like I shouldn't have suggested this that
early in my tenure at game Spot, but I remember not the first weekend,
but the second weekend I had worked at Game Spot. I was on
the way out of the office on a Thursday evening and I had sort of
talked to Rob Hanley a couple of times, like in the break room or
like over like paid a beers or something, and on the way out at
like six thirty pm, which was early for us at the time, I
was like, Hey, let me know if you guys do anything this weekend.
I'd love to hang out. And then I later came to find that
Rob Hanley, who let me be clear, is a great friend of mine
now and I will, yeah, wait until Wayne, until I'm off,
I'll fucking lay into him. I found out later that he's like, who
fuck is this guy? He's like Rob was, Rob's not I mean,
he's the nicest dude ever, and he'll be he's extremely well, he's extremely
welcoming. But like for me, after you guys had formed all these bonds
for me to come in after like a week and a half of work and
be like, let me go, let me know what you guys are doing
this weekend. Of course I was. I was just trying to like be
nice Rob. Of course Rob was also subsequently like the next week one of
the people who invited me out, So no harm, no file. But
I remember he was like he told me later on He's like, yeah,
dude, I was like, that was pretty bold to like insert yourself.
I was like, this is such a click that I am not part of
yet. But uh but once you get in, it's okay. We just
need to get through that initial You gotta embarrass yourself in some way and then
people will be like, all right, you're cool, You're one of us.
Like Rob Hamley was the first one to be like, hey, let's
go out soon. That was easy for us though in our professions, where
it's like we were thrust into offices filled with like people our age that all
had the same interest. You know, we're all into video games. It's
just like we're covering the same code. Were like, Yeah, I moved
to Minnesota, didn't know a single person. Oops, within like two week,
I had a bunch of like friends for life, you know, say
like San Francisco, you guys go there and oops, here's just a ton
of people we know and like and hang out with. You pulled up to
pick me up and the headlights I was shadow boxing when I was interning,
And when you've blared the rocky music, I'm like, right. That was
as as a twenty year old when I first went to game for him,
I was like, what do people like that? I like? And then
you and me start talking about Rocky. I was like, all right,
he likes Rocky. That's when I'm gonna start talking. And then a week
later you pull up to pick me up from the house I was living at,
blaring uh no easy way out and I'm just shadow boxing in the headlights
for like thirty seconds for I get in your car. It just ran you
over. Yeah, that we the interns. I don't think we like Rocky.
Yeah, and then you murder me. But you did not like when
I told you I didn't. I had never seen term he or two what
we fixed it? We fixed it. I think we've three times in one
night yea with Windwaker No. Yeah, Which is all to say that it
was God what another life that was. I I definitely came in on the
tal end, toward a talend of like games journalism. Like you move to
SF and you you like you, you become friends, and then you're just
living there and your whole life is game journalism. I luckily that was never
fully the case. I always had some friends outside of it, so like
to get away from it a bit. Not that I didn't like it,
but it's just so hard to imagine that being the case. Nowadays like going
out to us to San Francisco and then being like, all right, well
let's go to Kates twice a week and then we'll do payday beers one day
and then Sunday you got, you got. You gotta taper into the week
on Sundays, So let's go out on to Visidero and go to Surfbar and
then we'll go up to the page and then see what happens. Oh,
I'm hung over on Monday now. Uh so, now I gotta kind of
like Hair of the Dog on Monday at two pm. That's such a schedule
for someone in their twenties though, the first getting a can't Oh no no,
it's like we're all scattered around the tacks and season. You know,
it's every once in a while, you know, you go out and see
a ton of people, but like that like weekly cadence of like constantly going
out and stuff. I could not do it. Yeah, it builds up
it. Uh, I'm I'll be I'll be thirty two and eleven days of
this episode going up. Yeah I can't And that's my body doesn't like when
I do that stuff anymore. Wait until you're older. I'm trying to get
ahead of it. Yeah, I'm like taking the warning signs now doesn't get
better. It's crazy how much it accelerates. Like everyone, every older person
always warns you about that, like, oh, I want you to hit
my bra bra It's but then it's like you actually hit that age and it's
like, oh, this is what they were talking about. Oh yeah,
and myself showering and I didn't like fall down or anything. You know,
it's slightly in the drinking sense that is slightly comforting to me to know that
it will like almost I'll half too, and I already have, like the
last three years, Like right before I hit thirty, I was like,
oh man, hangovers are a thing now, Like I every once in a
while you'll get that miraculous, miraculous morning where you're like how did I avoid
that? Other times? Yeah, I don't. I don't think I'll have
those much longer. And also like lately, I've you know, just been
not drinking as much and like again trying to get into wine in the way
that I am. It helps. But yeah, that's not to say that
if I had gone to packs last weekend, I would not have been just
like you all would have been hungover. Yeah, I would have been like
leading the charge. You all would have been sick, just like me.
I think I'm in an era now where I get really irritated when someone's like
as an old person who's thirty one. I think that it's and I'm like,
you, son of a bitch, I'm winning, I'm old. I'm
just saying I'm not saying you're doing that. I'm I don't like people who
do that. Don't take this personally, you child, you fucking fetus.
I'm saying people after you drift, I am not. I will fight you.
Yeah, I think i'm young. I just some dan play the box.
Oh I don't. I just I don't think I'm old. I should
be saying I'm getting older. Who everyone is, that's not special exactly,
that's universal special. We're not talking about you at all. We're not discussing
you. I don't like he was talking about me when I say I I
am talking about me. Oh that's what you've been meaning when you say I
I hate this ship. I hate I hate this fucking podcast, this really
fucking show. I hate it. Who are they talking about? Drinking?
Sucks that we hold guns ever one heads and making what's well, talk about
drink, that's yeah, anything anything else, pressing that we should bring up
marassing, anything else. Mary, I feel I feel like that was targeted
at me. I said your name, so yeah, anything else. I'm
really good, I'm really all right, sick. You guys want to talk
about fucking video games? Sure, I incensed him, alright, sick.
One in five Americans have learn a new language on their bucket list. If
that's you, check it out the list this summer with babble, because with
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it actually teaches you to converse people. That's how you interact the people
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and try not to use any English, and it's been helping me a lot.
But Mary, tell fire Skape listeners how they can get into this action.
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and restrictions may apply. It is as of today, September eleventh, and
we are sort of officially out of summer. Fall doesn't the technically start for
about a week and a half. But that doesn't mean I'm not breaking into
those peppery reds, those tobacco e Italian reds. And I can compare with
my park my beef. I can pare a lot of good pastas. I'm
getting off the rosas and getting off the Salveniam blocks. That's a good all
year round technically, but they're not exactly seasonal. And Mary, you and
I have been talking a lot about the wines you're gonna get into in the
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Fire Escape. Mike and Mary, it is busy. It is the full
season. We got a lot of releases coming up. And you know what
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Not? I don't. I leave that to the fine folks and factor.
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fifty. All right, we can talk about Starfield finally. People will been
playing it. Released to the general public and on game Pass on September six,
which is last week. If you're listening to this now, if you
pre ordered it, you had it about a week before then. We've been
playing it for probably a month at this point, month ish. We've been
alluding to it. I think we have some pretty different opinions. I could
be wrong. I don't know. Maybe we even know. Okay, So
Dan, let me go to you because we talked off Mike last week or
sorry, a couple of weeks ago about it, and I think you were
enjoying it a bit more than I was. To spoil a bit, but
I'm curious at the beginning, I was really enjoying it quite a bit.
I was. You know, I'm normally get turned off by you know,
talkie dialogue, heavy games and stuff like that, but I really was kind
of enjoying, just kind of like landing it. Oh, I'm in Neon
there now I'm at the New Atlantis. I'm just going to talk to people
and like, oh, like those are my favorite things, where like I
started talking to a bartender or something, and suddenly they've got this question like,
hey, could he break into this place and get this thing for me?
Like I like doing that shit. It was like when I was doing
like constellation stuff at the lodge and everything, I was kind of getting like
I was never like super bored, but I was also not super engaged.
I like the side weird shit and just seeing what kind of trouble I could
get into, and also playing it ferently than I normally play these type of
games, because in the past I've just been idiot guy with a sword or
a gun running around killing everyone, and this one I was like, all
right, I'm gonna try to be this guy that like, oh, I
was a xenobiologist and like he was big on researching, on put way more
points into like science and tech and persuasion and social stuff and everything and try
to talk my way through things. And like I was really liking the persuasion
system and everything, like, I was really enjoying it, and I think
I still am. But the thing is, well, okay, I guess
we'll get to something later here. I was really enjoying it, and then
something else popped up that I did not expect to like as much as I
did, and I got obsessed with it. And that's all I've been playing
for the last week and a half, and the whole time Starfield has been
sitting there in the background, and I've just been like, yeah, I
guess I could do that. I guess I could go back there. That's
fine, that's good. But some of the systems are kind of clunky.
I don't I don't have a great grasp with a ship system yet or the
outpost system. I know. I like the dialogue. I like just kind
of the world. I don't like the map. I don't like the fast
travel. Like there's it's a lot going on there. There's some stuff I
really do like, like like the combat. I think the combat is a
huge, huge upgrade to like what combat the land combat ors, uh,
space combat I have. I've had like one skirmish in space. I have
like blown up one ship and that's pretty much it. I've tried to like
talk down every ship that's like tried to talk ship to me or whatever.
So I'm talking about running around with a gun, I'm breaking into this place,
this you know, Crimson Fleet thing or whatever. That that stuff feels
better than it's ever felt in it. But does the game you know,
Skyrim and Oblivion never felt like amazing combat Fallout. I liked Vats, but
I mean that was more of a that wasn't like a combat thing. Yeah,
this this felt good. Like I'm boosting around, I'm really just kind
of like light and have you know, good boosters, jumping around shooting stuff
like That's it feels better than than those games ever had. But there's just
enough just kind of jankie or uh, not optimal systems going on around it
them make it kind of like they kind of take me out of it and
keep me from going to the next level of like, oh, I fucking
love this game, you know, and have you played much of it?
Yeah? Yeah, I'm about nine hours in. So what I've heard from
a lot of people is that it takes about twelve hours or more to get
into the main meat of the game, where you're in the hook and enjoying
it. I still feel like I'm in a tutorial and I'm learning the systems,
and it is a bit of a drag right now, nine hours in
to be like, this is a lot of tutorial, This is a lot
of menu. I was not prepared for the amount of not flying there was
in this game. I was excited to fly my ship, and I enjoy
flying my ship. And the first time I went and saw a planet and
clicked on it and realized that's not how you get to it, I was
really disappointed. I'm down there, I'm not flying. Not only am I
not flying down there, but that's not even how I quick get there.
I get there by hitting tab, going to my menu, going to the
star map, actually going to my what is the tasks that I'm supposed to
be doing, clicking on the task and then saying fast travel to this task,
which really sucks me out of the idea that I am mapping these charts,
and it takes me out of the RPG. I'm no longer pretending that
I am doing these things because the fast travel and you can fast travel to
your ship. Right, So, like sometimes I get off my ship and
I like do all this combat and I achieve this like really cool item that
I've been looking for, and then I just go, I look at my
ship and I just suck myself to the ship. It's like something that seems
odd about that. A huge part of these games is walking around or slowly
flying there. That make because space is slow, man, it takes you
a while to get there. So the whole fast travel thing, surprisingly,
although I do think this was supposed to be a benefit, right to get
to the good stuff. To me, all the fast travel makes it hard
for me to immerse myself in this world because I am in menus more than
I feel like I am in this game. And loading screens, yes,
yeah they're oh yeah they're short. We're past the point where they're long,
but it's still like loading screened. Okay, so again, so it's funny
looking back at the marketing, it's like, how often were they They never
once said you would be able to exit a planet's atmosphere seamlessly and get up
there. No, No, man, Sky absolutely ruined that or ruined that
aspect of Starfield. For me, there's nothing but thats it could do about
that. My thing is that I I it feels so overly artificial and there's
so much game between me and Mary, as you said, the role playing.
When I arrive and all of a sudden, I see this planet split
out in front of me. Maybe it's a gas giant. Maybe it's like
a desert planet like where I'm gonna Aquila, and or maybe it's just I
don't know, maybe like I kind to see the lights of Neon and I
was like, oh, this is cool as shit. Again though at that
point, if pirates don't ambush you, if or if nobody like says like
hey do you have contraband on your ship? And as Dan you said,
like, yeah, I was going for more of a charismatic character too.
It's like I'm just going to open the menu again and then find the city
on the planet and fast travel, which is fine. Yeah, I'm just
gonna follow the blue dot which blue dot follow simulator like Starfield to me,
And I will say I overall, I think, generally speaking, I dislike
this game, which is not to say I did not like certain stretches of
this game. I love this game when I was in Aquila City or I
was in Neon, and I'm still playing it. To its credit, I'm
not enjoying every moment whatsoever. But it's like, Okay, I'm in Aquila
City, this wild West kind of town. It's like, this is cool.
This is I feel like they're like inserting this genre fiction into it.
I'm meeting different characters. Yeah, sure, I'm role playing. My character
is a chef who is on is on the lamb because they're wanted. But
my origin city is Neon, and my whole storyliners that I like found out
that this person I was serving at my really high scale restaurant was a crime
boss who killed my brother. I poisoned them and then they found out,
so I fucking got out of there. When I'm in Akila City and I'm
talking two different quest givers and I'm just kind of like exploring the city,
I'll Act three of Balder's Gate three. It's like that's where Bethesda shines,
or Bethesda the developer shines. It's like they're they're good at making these handcrafted
worlds where it's like this bespoke thing where you meeting certain characters and they kind
of can funnel you towards certain things. Like it reminds me of the best
side quest from Fallout three or New Vegas or that one Vault, where like
it's basically the lottery short story. It's like they're trying not to be elected.
My point being it's like, I wish more of the game was like
that, and it's hard. I don't want to criticize it for something it's
not trying to be, but the fact that it does have these cool singular
quests in these handcrafted cities or handcrafted areas like New Atlantis or Kala City or
Neon, where I wish they stuck to that, And I wish they had
just made a game where it's like, hey, we're creating this brand new
solar system. There are only six planets in it. Yes, I want
you to go explore these six planets. When Todd Howard first started saying skyrimm
and space, that was the dream. That's clearly not what they were trying
to do here. My problem with the game, the inherent flaw that keeps
making me dislike the game, is that it feels so it's like all four
limbs are getting pulled in a different direction. One of the limb is trying
to be no Men's Sky. The infinite procedural generation planets of like finding resources
and building an outpost the second is trying to do like the cool cerebral puzzle
storytelling of Outer Wilds. The third is like still trying to be Skyrim,
and the fourth is just doing every sci fi trope ever. And I'm like,
there is a dream version of Starfield that I love, which is all
Aquila City, all Neon, all those specific planets, and Bethesda just nails
it. But like, I don't necessarily need to be going in and out
of atmosphere seamlessly like No Man Sky. I get that. I get that,
Bethea. The scale of this game, it's funny to say the scale
of this game outsizes No Man Sky when No Man Sky is the algorithm allows
like it's infinity. But like, this game does feel like it's having an
identity crisis. And I know Bethesza has been working on it for a long
time. I just wish at some point they had honed in on something.
And my personal ideal is like three planets three Skyrim that you can travel seamlessly
between. I don't care if it's solar. If you told me there's this
solar system. If in the writer's room at the beginning of this game,
you created this solar system where there's a star and three planets, and that's
what your tech was allowed in a moon, and moon's around each one.
That's a lot to look at one planet. It takes a whole lot of
times. I've barely been anywhere on it. We're not asking for infinite,
and names keep giving us infinite. This is a massive, massive space that
feels endless, and it is so large, but it's shallow. And I
was talking to my friend about this today. You guys both knew Drew and
I was talking about this today. He's like, yeah, I wasn't expecting
like the no skys seamless stuff was like fair. They never once said you
could do that. I think when I heard Skyrim in Space though I was
expecting Skyrim, You're you're doing that twenty minute bullshit intro, which is not
good, and then all of a sudden you're like, yeah, you could
go to Riventon or whatever it's called, or you could go west, you
can go north. I don't give a fuck, Like this game is just
very much like I don't think they know what they wanted it to be,
and I don't. Again, I hate to criticize things for something they're not.
I hate to criticize things by applying this ideal that they're not trying to
reach. However, they clearly are in some respects in this game trying to
do that handcrafted universe, but it's just like kind of muddled with so many
other things. But when they are doing that, I love this game.
I'm liking certain aspects. I'm like, God, I wish I could just
spend like the Neon storylines as like derivative as Neon itself is. It's coorissant,
It's you know, the city from the expanse like still fun. That
is a game in itself. It's just so many of those quests will take
you off planet into this other bullshit that I don't want to do, and
I'm like, god, there's so much here. It's like it's like Bethesda
kind of like they pick up momentum and they're so close to getting me just
hooked, and then so many times are just like fucking karate chopping me in
another direction, and don't. I just want to. I want to keep
doing the things I want to, like I want to enjoy doing, but
I can't. Yeah, like an individual side story or something will get me
kind of hooked. I'll get really into it and be kind of positive on
the game, and then I'll think like, Okay, I just finished up
that story, let me just go explore it for a little bit, and
I never really feel rewarded for it the way I wouldn't like. I know,
these are very different games, but you mentioned Ouderwilds and No Man Sky
where I felt like I could just land somewhere and be like, what do
we got going on here? And fly around but for some interesting land by
it and check it out. You don't get that experience here, and again
they didn't. They didn't market it as such, but that is I think
what I want from this like far reaching space game is the ability to explore
and feel rewarded by it by just cool findings. I think we should like
hear what you just said, though, because how could you make a massive
space exploration RPG and not reward people for looking around? Like that's the fucked
up part. So I don't care whether or not they promised that to me.
I should be able to go the opposite direction of my waypoint and find
something cool, because that's actually what all gamers want, is the idea to
have some kind of autonomy where you have your own challenge and your own excitement
by going off the beaten path, and this game doesn't reward that because it
was so it was it was trying so hard to see if they could make
this expansive universe they never made. They never thought about whether or not they
should. They didn't make the pockets of like really interesting value. That is
why you dig into these spaces. Why do we go to planets to find
weird shit on them? This was the original problem with No Man Sky.
If we all remember their launch, which was infinite and every planet was fucking
gray, and all the animals were about the same, but some of them
had like weird octopus bodies and some of them had long giraffe necks, and
I was like, this is boring. Once they really understood why we got
excited to see something really wild enter into reward you for your curiosity, that's
the hook that they got. I just don't think Starfield saw that yet.
Yeah, and it's like it's I agree with you, I don't. I
don't think they promised a lot of the things that I think we were projecting
onto it. But again, Todd Howard, the face of Bethesda from the
beginning was saying we want to do Skyrim in space. You could see him.
You could see him in many videos saying that, yeah, And that's
why I played another game that kind of when I was playing it, I
was like, oh man, this seems like what it could be Starfield could
be was outer worlds obsidians basically obsidians like Skyrim in space kind of it's like,
oh, you're on several different planets, you're on a moon. That
game took maybe twenty five hours to beat, so it was definitely small scale.
But playing that, I was like, oh man, Bethesda could just
take this kind of format, and you know, I don't care if I'm
fast traveling between planet's Like, yeah, I guess you know again, No,
man, Sky's space travel has really ruined me for other games space travel,
But I'm like, god, I wish I I It's just funny to
look back at Skyrim, a game that just honed the like, just gamified
curiosity better than any game ever made except for Breath of the Wild Tears the
Kingdom. Maybe, Like we joke about Skyrim, it's everywhere. It's like,
oh, can the refrigerator around Skyrim. It's like, go back to
Skyrim. I went back like eight months ago. It's still really fucking good
at you, Like, what is that little landmark in the distance, what's
in that hut over there? Oh, I see a cave on my compass.
There's probably something cool in there. Again, to extrapolate that into the
vast expanse of space is a tall promise, but like that's what they've been
phrasing it as since the beginning. So even after all the marketing's done,
I'm still like, the game just feels I said this during a friend today.
I'm like, yeah, it feels like their limbs are getting pulled in
all different directions. So now what's left is just this bloody torso And I
don't I don't know. I can't like I need to like really hone in
on one of those areas in this game to enjoy it. It's challenging to
enjoy this game, but I am. But overall, I can't say I
really like this game because it's not funneling me towards the best stuff. I
think. That's the weird thing is that, like this probably sounds very down
this whole conversation. All three of us am pretty down on it, but
like at the end of the day, I still have been enjoying my time
playing it, and I'm going to go back to it, Like this was
a bad game. You know, I'm over twenty hours into it. I
wouldn't be like, oh yeah, I'm gonna go back to it. I
am. I'm probably gonna spend another at least twenty forty sixty I don't know
hours in it, but I don't know. It's not inspiring me by any
means. Yeah, it's i'd say overall, I would I would call it
a mediocre game. It's just like, yeah, I don't know, it's
it's it's fighting me to really like it, and I wish it would just
let me like it. But it's just it's two someone what was the There's
an article today that went up it's like Starfield's too big to fail. It's
like, it's true. I think it's just like it's gonna have a life
cycle, Like we're not at the end of this game, and that's very
clear by how many updates they need to do to it already, Like it's
gonna have more content added to it, and there's obviously like a post game
after you finish the story that people are enjoying and I've heard from so many
people. Once you get like twenty five even thirty hours in, they're like,
dang it like really gets you. It's just that like oh that adult
like, oh, like I just had to I just have to get through
like twenty more hours and this game is gonna be so fucking great. I
just gotta kind of push myself through the hurdle. But it's hard. I
mean, I got a game that I can't fucking put down. Yeah,
that game is Pickman. Wait, wait really quick. Yes, I want
to get to that because I know, I know Damn loves that game.
Is We've heard him rants about the game. The one thing I'll say,
and I keep saying this, I'm broken record. If a game takes that
long to really hook you, is it a good game? Like there are
certain movies that take a while to hook you, and then you're like,
oh, I see what they were building toward, Like yeah, fucking Outer
Wilds. Okay, you get into like uncertain territory when you're just sorry,
tricky territory. You're just trying to compare stuff. Outer Wilds took exactly twenty
two minutes. I know that because that's the loop of the game for me
to be like, oh my god, I can see how this could potentially
be one of my favorite games ever made. And then you do another loop,
and you do another loop, it literally hooks you in twenty two minutes.
Hades took fifteen minutes for me to be like, well, I'm hopeless.
This is what I'm gonna be playing for years. Like Vampire Survivors took
like ninety seconds. Yeah, yeah, And that's not again, that's kind
of speaking to my attention span with video games nowadays, which I've been working
on, but like, and I want to give games the benefit of the
doubt for longer than just twenty two minutes ninety seconds, but like twenty two
hours before a game gets good. It's like, and Mary, I've heard
the same exact thing we talked about at work all the time. Like,
I could do a lot, I could play a lot of other really fucking
good games in twenty two hours that have come out this year, And I'm
like, yeah, great, Miller, who is one of the busiest dudes
I've ever met. He's got a million things going on. He's running the
goddamn outlet, He's doing a million things. He's working, he's raising a
baby. He's got a lot going on, he tweeted. He's on his
fifth New Game Plus of Starfield. That means his sixth playthrough. What is
this motherfucker doing? Time wise? How is this happening? How does he
do this? That's an extraordinary amount of time? But I think I would
say that that is a testament to someone who, like obviously, once you
get into it, can get addicted and fall in love with it, which
is a great sign that there's something out there. Holy shit, those six
playthroughs. Yeah, any like platinums every PlayStation game, Like, what the
what is happening here? How is he bending time? Or whatever the fuck
he's doing? He's got a Hermia Ranger like hour Glass. Yeah, I
don't, I don't know. Really nuts, I don't know, kids,
although I'm doing a new game plus right now, but in Starfield no uh
wait, okay, sorry, I want to get to that. But Mary,
you brought wait can you talk about the new game Plus that I'm doing?
Yes? Yeah, oh yeah, it's okay. You can you You
folks led me Australia last time. No, no, no, no,
I talk about Armor Corps. I told you I was enjoying parts of that
game, and I was gonna play more. I love that game. We'll
get to it, wasn't I mean, we'll get to that. Let's go
to Pickman. Okay, yeah, Pickman. Mary, You're in to Pickman
now? Yeah, I'm into Pickman now. Dan was really hyping it up,
and I have a feeling it's going to come up for Godie And we're
in the era now where we all need to start playing Goadie possibilities, all
of us. We all have a responsibility to play Godie games. Well,
you know, one day you're gonna be like, why can't you know Armored
Core come up? And we'll be like, because nobody played it. Everybody
has to play these games so that we can discuss them fairly and amicably and
then fight over them. That's right, amicably. Pickman is speaking of really
good hooks and loops. Immediately, Pickman puts you in the thick of it
and lets you have so much fun by growing your little Pickman. You throw
them at flowers, they drag them to their little ship. It grows more
Pickman, you pluck them out of the dirt. They've added some really nice
quality of life to this Pickman in the form of the dog. Super fun
to ride your dog or or send him out for stuff like I get my
dog to dig while I get other pickmen to pick you know, a big
bottle and take it back to my ship, or the ones that can't swim
throw it on the dog's back. Yeah, that's so cute. I love
how you can like kind of operate these things together. And I like the
challenges as well, when someone's like you and me are going to battle.
Yes, the Dan Dory battles are really fun. I thought it would give
me anxiety because I would be like, what if I fail, But it's
it's very forgiving if you fail. It's just like, oh one time,
if you succeed. I did challenge where they try to get you to get
a certain amount of points, and he was like, you have a lot
of work to do. I was like, they're really polite way of saying
you didn't even get an award because your score was so low. But like,
do it again, Bud, and I did, and I would do
it until I got the highest score. I've hundred percented the first two areas.
I'm on my third area. I've done a night area. I really
I think this game is super fun two hundred percent and to get addicted to
it is really fun to find everything, and I think it's delightful. It's
a brilliant escalation of the Pickman series. I'm usually not a huge completionist,
you know, I don't necessarily need to get a thousand or a platinum or
anything or one hundred percent. With this one, it's like, you know,
you'll go to that next level to see what it's like, Like,
oh, I unlocked the fourth level, let's check it out. But I
can't look at that sixty two percent on the last one and like, there's
a bunch of shit I got to dig up there, Like you're gonna go
back there one hundred percent of that entire game, and Mary, if you're
liking it now, like I feel like the Hoaks, like it was really
really good from the very beginning, and then somewhere like in the middle,
it was just like, oh fuck, how is it this good? And
it just keeps getting better and you're going to see stuff that you haven't seen
yet that is going to be like, holy shit, this makes the whole
game so much better. That's cool, fucking awesome. It is ane hundred
percent of that game got everything, got every top score on every Dandory Battle.
It was so rewarding from beginning to end. I would do it again
right now if Pickmen five came out. Dang. The quality of discovering a
new Pickman and what their little abilities are and what their drawbacks are. It's
really fun. And so anytime I see something, I'm like, oh,
this is a carrying situation, so I'm going to use this color. This
is oh, i gotta get through this river, so I'll use the ice
ones and freeze it. Like it's fun to solve these things, and you
can solve them in different ways, and you might solve the one slightly different
than the way I solve it. I think that's kind of nice as well.
And I also just think it's it is competitive, but at the end
of the day, it's casual in nature. So if I take twice as
many days to one hundred percent my level, there's really nothing wrong with that.
You can take your time. But there are also things like later on
that like if you want that challenge that it is also there, like you
know, you can challenge yourself to get that platinum or whatever on every day
and doory Battle, and there's very optional things at the end that like are
really hard to do but super duper fun. So it's like anywhere the like
difficulty spectrum. I think you're gonna be happy here. I love it.
I think it's a great game, and I'm really glad I picked it up.
I'm not like addicted. I don't like have to I don't think I
have to finish it, but I look forward to playing it every time.
It has encouraged me in a steam Deck year to get my switch back out.
I am using that switch to play this game. And it's a lovely
right before bed game that used to be hadies because you could easily play like
a round of Hades before you go to sleep at night. That's what I
do now with Pickman. I play, like you know, one day cycle
is like what ten, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, maybe like one of
the cave things or something, but like you, I'd say ten to twenty,
so like I can as I'm going to bed. It's like reading a
chapter of a book or something like that. You can play a day of
Pickman and slowly ease into the evening. And because the game isn't stressful,
it's really a delight to finish your day with I find it. I used
to also do this with Splunky. Splunky was like a really nice like whatever,
I'll play around and when I die, I'll go to bed. It's
what I do with by Pickman. It's like I'll play a day and when
it's nighttime for my Pickman is nighttime for Mary and I go to sleep.
The little jingle plays every time you get in the bed. Yeah, I
do get upset when they die. I did. I have noticed that the
ratio of Pickman that I lose when I'm drinking is significantly higher. Close your
eyes, like I didn't hear that. I didn't see that. I So
the worst one is when I don't see it happen, and when there's just
a graphic on the screen that says, somewhere out there a Pickman. I
think it's like a Pickman has gone or a Pickman was lost. I think
that's what it is, a Pickman was lost. When that happens, I'm
like, I don't even know who that is. If I didn't, if
I didn't see their solely of their body, I have no emotional connection,
and I don't I don't rewind it. I just keep going but if I
if I've been like drinking and I'm like whatever, I can handle this boss,
and the boss licks up twenty pickmen, and I can hear them all
go and you see all these souls leave their body. I gotta rely soul.
And then you'll see like somebody on your ship will like radio and and
be like, oh my god, it was so many a massacre. Yeah
you should really and you'll get like a little alert like you can rewind,
and I'm like, yeah, they're all dead. They're not coming back.
I mean, this is war, Yes, is what happens. You're picking
up game boy SPS and taking him to his spaceship. So I'm rallying the
troops. Not all these men are gonna go home, you know, do
you have them where the dog can just like fucking like swallowed like a whole
like anything, like it could be the biggest thing in the world. And
the dog was like, I'm just like taking all it's insane. I love
it. The dog is a freak. It's fun. My dog. My
dog has the strength of thirty pickmen right now, and I bet it can
go a pieve and higher. But seeing the dog drag a massive thing by
itself is very funny. Yes, I'm so glad you're loving it. It
is. That's a special game. Like I expected to like the game,
I did not expect to fucking love it the way I do. Super duper
good game. I absolutely am adoring it and I am in favor of it,
and I do think it will come up for Goadie. It's absolutely it's
a It's a stunning contender in a series of Pickman. And it's been a
really long time that I remember Pickman one and the difference in the amount of
upgrades that they have made to make this game easier to play, easier to
understand, and more enjoyable, which is so important as we like talk about
all these games and we're like discussing whether or not like we like them,
so important to just remember, like did you have fun? Yeah? You
know, yeah, I had fun every moment I was playing Pickman, moment
I'm playing Pickman. I don't know if like like Starfield, I don't know
if funds the word for you when I don't think I would use fun either.
I kind of felt like I was at a job. In fact,
the very first thing that happens in Starfield is it's your first day at work,
and every person you meet is like, how they sign you up for
this garbage, dump, shit whole job. And I'm like, oh no.
And I have a manager and she's like, I don't really like doing
it, but ya gotta do what you gotta do. And I'm like,
is this work? Am I working? Right now? I started? I
started the fucking side mission where you have to go to a kiosk and apply
to a job. It's a questionnaire. I just sit down and do an
interview, and then I started a job. So it's like it happened more
than one. I think Starfield's a bad game. I think is that's what
we've been dancing around for like half hour when we talk about a good game.
In comparison the amount of excitement you guys expressed with Pickman, It's like
it only took one Pickman for us to come to terms with the fact that
Starfield isn't bringing me a lot of joy. It's something that I do and
I'm learning about it, but I haven't had a lot of like heat moments.
I haven't been like te heat. I can't get I can't wait to
get into my ship and see what kind of Shenanigans I get into, but
like, I love picking up Pickman. I haven't touched Pickman yet, but
it reminds me obviously tiny Kin. It's in the name. They were going
for a Pickman thing. Yeah, the whole time in tiny Kin I was
one percent. I was like, this is a blast. I love this
they have. They have like alkymized fun and made it into a video game,
and it's it's awesome. Tiny Kin kicks ass. But Pickman four is
on a different levels, on a different level, it really is. It's
it's better. And I wonder if they like played tiny Kin and we're like,
oh, like this is this is in the right direction. I don't
think they're like that connected, but Pickman is. It's stellar. They've really
they've really nailed it on this one. Dann Okay, how do we lead
you astray with Armor Cores six? Well, I have the vaguest memories,
and I always forget which podcast was on whatever, but I think it was
this one last week when I hadn't played it Armored Corps. I think you
talked about it, Mike, maybe briefly. I understand. I was enjoying
aspects of it, but like it wasn't hooking me. Then I played more,
and I know I specifically said all of my co workers said play more.
And to that specifically, I think you said it like I was like,
would I like it? Should I play this? And you were like,
I don't think it's a you game. That's what I mean. Say
it was bad, said you dissuaded me. Chalk it up to the second
time I've ever had a bad recommendation for you or you're you're bating like you
know nine eight years. I played more of that game, and like to
Mary's point about start, I guess to all of our points about Starfield,
it's like Armored Corps took a bit to hook me. Oh, I was
right away, but no, the first two hours, I'm like, all
right, this feels great. It feels great. Like I said this on
the last episode, like this feels great. I get how I could like
this could start expanding and blooming with new weapons and ship. When I'm building
out, my my ac co workers are telling me, like, later on
it your build becomes important and how you're dealing with certain bosses becomes important.
I'm like, I could see how that's happening. I was definitely bored at
first, but it was I don't know that it was a like super I
disliked this game board. It was more I wish it did more upfront board.
But again it wasn't twelve hours like Starfield. But I'm glad you're liking
it. I think with me, anytime I play a game where like the
second I take control of a character, it clicks when I'm like, oh,
this feels good, I think that is like I know I'm gonna love
it, like Mario sixty four first time we running around the courtyard jumping cartwheel
and all that shit. Returnal. I remember the first time I played Returnal
and doing the dash and everything be like oh this feels real fucking yeah,
and shooting and everything like Armored Core. Even before I was doing any of
the like you know, tweaking out my thing and picking my weapons and strategizing
all this, I could just ride away and tell that like, oh that
boost feels good, Oh I can it square and just like fast dodge out
of the way. The l three boosts is like a fucking Superman's story.
Yah yeah yeah. And I found myself like right away, like I had
the dual sense of edge and so I was like map and stuff like okay,
so put the fast button dodge on this and everything, and it just
felt like I don't want to make this over dramatic, but like as I
was playing and attacks were coming in and everything, I felt like I was
in such control, like a level of control over my character that I think
I've rarely felt. I you know, I love games like Devil May Crying,
Baneta and everything, but like there's always like a layer of disconnect from
the character. Even if you're getting the timing right and getting the witch time
and the combos and all that, I never felt completely just in tune with
the character the way that like when I am boosting out of the way of
stuff and hitting like okay, I noticed like I feel like I'm doing things
without my brain even realizing it in this game, like I'm connected to the
controller. It's like I can I can tell when a character is slowing down,
or I can tell that the I've got an opening here where I can
hit him with the stun needle launch or something like that, or okay,
this is perfect time to hit the bazuka. And then if I die,
I'm never getting upset. I'm always like Okay, let's go back the drawing
board, Let's go back into the assembly. Let's okay, so they've got
those shields and swap out these kinnetic weapons for pulse weapons and everything. I
thought that was going to be a hand in the ass because I hate like
tinkering stuff. I'm not like a gearhead. Let's play Fortza and adjust the
axles on my car type guy. Uh, this is the right level of
like it's not that much minutia, but there is such a level of control
over like, Okay, I'm gonna make this reverse joint, super nimble,
speedy BOOSTI mech I'm gonna save that one. But that got its task kicked
against that boss. So now I'm gonna make a fucking tank with bazookas and
literal tank treads and I'm going there with so much armor and assault power and
everything. It's god damn it it. I connected with it so fast right
away. I was streaming it, and I was expecting to do like a
fifteen minute stream just to see like if my new setup worked or whatever.
And then like the first level, I remember like turning with the chat and
be like, wait, is this fucking cool? Like what's the deal here
and I got to that first, that baltiest boss. No, no,
it was the helicopter. The helicopter I beat like right away, and some
people in the chat were like, whoa, okay, we didn't expect you
to click with this as fast as you did. And I felt without much
trouble that the helicopter, the baltiest thing. Helicopter took me like three Yeah,
yeah, it's but I mean, I just felt in so much control,
and when I died, I always felt like I was learning, and
uh yeah I beat it. I'm doing a new game plus now. I
uh man, I I cannot believe that if this was a world where there
wasn't a new, incredible like Landmark Zelda game that came out, I would
seriously be considering an Armored Core game for my Game of the Year when I've
never fucking played one of these games before, and I don't give a shit
about Max. When you when's the last time you played it? Today?
Give it some time before you say that about yeah, game of the year.
Yeah, I give it a little more time. Oh I know,
I no, no, no, I'm not. It's going to be high
on my personal I don't know. It might be four. It might be
three. I haven't like sat down and put it all together. It's a
good year for games, but it's like I can definitely say it's way higher
than like, I did not think I was even going to play it,
and now I fucking love it. I apologize if I led you straight.
I that first hour, I was like, this feels great, but I've
played some other stuff that feels great. But yeah, I know, the
more I played it, the more I'm like. It didn't start truly hooking
me until I was experimenting in the arena. It was when it was when
I started bumping up. It was Baltius, and I think Baltius was the
kind of the market of the game where I'm like, from elden Ring,
I'm like, we've literally written on a polygon. That's the kind of skill
check where I'm like this, the game has felt good up until that point.
So I started experimenting with different bills, Like, all right, maybe
if I do a pistol in my off hand, which is more like accurate
kind of you know, like not as much of a recharge my burst rifle,
but then I've got the missile on my right shoulder. You start trying
different things, and you start to realize that they really do want you to
be doing the arena and the like actually getting out of the mission that you're
in if you need to, which is like that's where elden Ring was like,
no, go explore a different part of the open world or Dark Soul
is like go maybe farm some enemies. It's like Armored Cores sixes version of
that is no go experiment with different builds, which is which is super cool,
and like once I started doing that, it clicked. Yeah. I
think still no matter no matter how much I play that game, I still
just the world itself on purpose feels lifeless. I get that's what they're going
for the whole point of the game, that this setting the premise. I
just can only take so much like Gray and Desolation. Yeah, but it
still feels great. I think for me that's almost a plus because like I
just don't give a fuck about the story, Like I listen, I don't
skip anything what I'm looking at. That's what I'm saying, Like, I
don't I don't need that set dressing. That means nothing to me. So
it's like I just want to get into the action, and I think I
would hit like the reason that when I die, even if I'd back all
the way out, lose my checkpoints and start the whole mission over again,
I don't really care because there's not downtime. You just start and you're in
fucking action right away. If I if there's more like just kind of like
lower or world building or anything like that, I think I'd just be like,
just give me to the good shit. And I feel like this game
is just shoveling you into the good shit at all turns, you know,
And like I specifically don't want lower. I don't give a funk while these
robots are fighting. Just let me put the bazoo because on my robot and
fight the other ones, and this game lets you do that super easily.
Yeah, I want to play more of that game. I I that's one
of those games where I kind of I feel like I would love a lot
more if I played games like a normal person, like one at a time
and actually took the time to experiment with different builds. But god, I
got some other stuff going on. But yeah, I want to play more
Armor Corps for sure. That's what stopped me from playing Starfield for most of
the last couple of weeks. Yeah, I like I like this game a
lot more. I like Armor Corp way more in Starfield for sure. I
I mentioned this at the beginning of the episode. We killed Bob Barker and
Terry Funk. We also sort of killed Me Me Me Games, their developer
in my mind, so if you miss it. A couple of weeks ago,
they announced me Me Me spelled m I, m I am I.
They announced that they were shutting down, and it sounds like they just needed
to for their own mental health, for their own sanity, which is great,
like good for them for being able to do that. Sounds like the
three games they've made were labors of love, and I don't think any of
them sold especially well. I could be completely wrong about that would not surprise
me, though. They're very niche fucking raved about Shadow Gambit last episode Stealth
Tactics. Again. For those who might now listen to the last episode,
imagine Hit Man or dishonor two or Metal Gear Solid zoomed out to an isometric
view. That's the kind of games they've made. The more I play Shadow
Gambit, their newest game, the more I'm just like in awe, I
we all know here that I'm like, first and foremost in video games,
I'm a level design nut. That's kind of what gets me is good level
design. Hence why I like Designer two, Hitman Trilogy. The games I
just mentioned, like Stealth games tend to have really good level design because they're
built on their level design. But Shadow Gambit, the more and more I
play it, the more and more I'm like, holy shit, I'm playing
just a This is a developer at the like. I cannot imagine if me
and me made another game in this genre, how they could possibly make a
better game. And I think it's a testament to their skill that I've said
that every one of their games I played, and they have continued to outdo
themselves. But Shadow Gambit, again, I really dislike the name Shadow Gambit.
The Curse Crew. Anytime you have a colon in your name, you
got a second guess the name. Okay, let's let's make it sound better.
I just did a quick look of a game called Curse Crackers. Colon
for whom the bell toils and bell is b E L L E because it's
the name of the main character. Yeah, that's Curse Crackers, for whom
the bell toils. All right, so Shadow Gambit the Curse Crew is miles
better, no, and uh, but just by virtue of the fact that
it's more open ended than Desperado's Three the Wild Western stealth game and Shadow Tactics
the Edo Arrow Japan stealth game where you're going to different islands across this archipelago.
It's basically an alternate Caribbean, and you are recruiting the crew members in
whatever order you choose. Basically, so the more crew members I unlock,
the more. You would think in a Stealth Tactics game where the levels are
very handcrafted, they're like dire aramas of undead zombie pirate Caribbean violence, you
would think the vastly expanding combinations possible combinations of team members would start to break
the game. At some point. I think it's eight characters you unlock,
but on most missions you can bring whatever three you want. You would think
you would bring some combination that would either break a level and make it extremely
easy, or prevent you from beating the level because you didn't bring a character
who could do like repositioning in the way that they want you to, or
the whistle or sniper kind of thing. That they want you to do.
The more characters are unlock, the more that the game is accounting for it
in every way, and I'm just further amazed. I'm like it truly.
It's one of those games I like, I have a hard time talking about
without rambling because I like so much about it. But I will say that
I in terms of stealth games, and I was just making fun of Dan
for saying that Armor Corps is one of his favorite games in the year no
matter what. But I'm like, yeah, I'm there with you in the
sense that in terms of stealth games, Shadow Gambit is one of my favorites
ever. And I'm still only like, from what I understand, seventy five
percent of the way through twenty two. Maybe at this point I'm taking my
time, and I'm also there's side objective. If there's challenges, I'll hit
man design or whatever that you can do and eliminate certain characters and like open
certain exits and whatnot. But like, it's it's pretty incredible what they have
pulled off with it. I think I've said all I can about that game
now, but I really just like, if people haven't tried Shadow Gambit,
go if you're into stealth or real time strategy because it is real timing LEAGUELD
pause it and issue orders in the pause screen, or just like again,
action adventure in these like condensed levels, go go check out Shadow Gambut.
I really am enjoying that game quite a lot. And it's a bummer.
No, no, meybe me as a group is not going to make another
game, but the three games they have made, one each of which are
similar stealth tactics from an overhead perspective on these like dioramic levels. One is
Wild West, one is Edo Air Japan Ninjas Samurai. One is on Dead
Zombie Pirates. Go check those out because that that game is incredible. But
outside of that, Mary, if you what have you been playing outside of
Starfield? Yeah? Okay, so this is also a good episode to talk
about RPGs and I got an RPG Bather's Gate three. It's Stars. Oh,
the the the team that made Me made The Messenger. So this is
a team that is notorious for taking like classic games and doing right by them
in an updated way. Right it is the guys, and just like the
Messenger, be prepared to be impressed by this game. Just like the Messenger,
Okay, sell me on this mirror because I don't really give a shit
about JRGS. I'm in so me, neither me, neither. Shut up,
Mike, Mike, you haven't played it? How could you? How
could you do this? I love that game? So I don't like it's
a it's Mike. What did I say? Did I say? Talk more?
Okay, Hey, let's let's go to emails. Mary trying to fucking
move aside. Stop him again, fucking freak out. I'm gonna freak out.
I hate this podcast. I hate this fucking show host. I hate
this goddamn pot. This is the this is the worst showing good radio.
I'ven sensed him again. Sorry, No, I'm cool. I'm a cool
dude. Have you been drinking hard liquors again? I'm gonna drinking beer.
I told you. Okay. So the guys who made the Messenger basically we're
making a love letter to Ninja Gaden and nailed it, like they nailed the
look and the feel and the vibes that you would want when you were playing
an old school game like that. But they actually did a lot of like
really good quality of life, and they did some nice twists that made it
great for modern audiences. It was a wonderful love letter. It's a fucking
stellar game. Everyone actually should just play The Messenger. But their newest release
is a love letter to Chrono Trigger. It is absolutely in the same vein
of that like genuine I'm going to care about these characters vibes, but the
music, the visual styles, they are spectacular and they are so so good.
I was blown away by how much I love this game, and I
don't play these types of games except for when I was younger, I played
Chrono Trigger. So this was like going back and to an old friend.
It even has a couple Easter eggs that are paying homage to Chrono Trigger in
it. But it has really fun mechanics that I think update the game and
the concept of like the combat that engage you. And I'll give you some
examples. One is when you get attacked, right as they're about to attack
you, you can hit a button that reduces the damage that you're taking.
In Yes, it's really nice to just keep your wits about you. The
Vein Girl, she has a moon boom range attack, and the idea is
that she hits the enemy and then the moon comes back to her. And
she has to uh, she has like hit it again, Okay, last
want the moon and it's at and as long as you ricochet on time,
it goes back and forth up to like is infinite times. And so when
she's doing the specialty move, you're essentially like constantly hitting the button at this
perfect time. But you can also fudget on your very first ricochet, which
is super embarrassing for you and all of your party who sees you. I
mean, you're saying everything like the few jerepugs I've played that. I really
like, like you're naming like the Mario Luigi games and everything with all of
this really kind of clever like that, Like that sounds like something that like
oh, kick the couper shell and you can rica back and forth. Like
alright, Mary, you're you're already you're taking me for I've already made a
note to myself to play this game. And this is something that was not
even remotely on my radar. I would love to be surprised again like I
was with Armored Corps. I I I'm going to play this game now faithfully
that this is a really quality game. And again I don't usually play dialogue
heavy games. Like this, you do have to give and take a little
bit with me that of course it's talking because it's an RPG and you're a
learning about these characters. But they do again some really nice quality of life
stuff. One of the cool things is is sometimes when they introduce new characters,
they just switch it into like an anime style and like everyone's smoking hot
and the animations are really nice and you're just like seeing them in a different
style, and then it goes back into the story, into the game,
into the pixelated game style. It's amazing that they even added that in there,
but it's a beautiful way to keep This keeps my brain going. I
feel like I'm never bored. There's puzzles a lot of the areas. They'll
be like, oh, to get here, you can sort it out in
your mind, like I'm gonna have to climb this bridge and push this rock
and hit this button, but I'm going to have to get in a combat
at some point. You do need to pay attention. The very first thing
that happens is you go to school to learn how to use your moves.
If you don't pay attention in school, you will be punished for it because
the whole combat system is about understanding the pros and cons of these mechanics that
you will play throughout the entire game, so it is important that you focus.
If it's about the combat, I can deal with it. If it's
like a twenty minute thing about why, oh this crystal is healing in the
world after an asteroid, I don't care about that. But if it's about
like combat stuff, I can. I'll learn that. Yeah, it's not
about here. I actually don't think I know what the story is about.
I feel like at some point I'm in like wizard school. I don't think
that's actually what we are, but let's just say it's wizards school and we're
learning because she's more of a sorcerer and I'm more of like we have different
combat styles. They're like, we're learning our individual combat styles. And there's
definitely like enemies in the world that are caused by some kind of chaos that
we're curing. But I agree, I haven't really given a shit about any
of that, and it hasn't taken away the joy that I have gotten from
this game. I've also found that in the time that I've had with it,
I was surprised with how much. I've found in love with the characters.
I haven't had that much time, but I I really really care about
the people in my party and making sure that they're alive and and and keeping
them safe. So it's it's been a joy, oh, going on like
little surprises and being like I saw a cave, like should I go in
it? And like, of course there's a fucking surprise in that cave.
Bud. You investigate some spaces, You're gonna get rewarded for it. There's
also a meal system that I think you'll enjoy. It's very Zelda. You
find like wheat and you find uh berries and shit like that, and every
time you're at a fire, they're like, do you want to make jam?
Or do you want to make a little pizza pocket? And you can
make them and then eat them on the fly when you need them. It's
a it's a joy, it's a it's a beautiful game. What does it
say that I've been thinking the whole time I've been playing an Armored Core that
like, Okay, Starfield's on the back burner. When I'm done with Armored
Core, I'm going to, uh, I'm going to get get back to
Starfield and now I'm done with Armored Corps. I've got new game Pluys.
Probably not gonna do the whole thing again. But now you're describing this and
I'm excited about Like, oh hell yeah, I can start that right now.
I'll start to see of Stars tomorrow. Like, what does that say
about Starfield? I? I agree. I think we're in a weird Uh.
We're in a weird space right now where we keep talking about games that
we're in love with, and then there's this game that we're also playing because
I think we're supposed to but don't over us, but none of us really
want to play it. We don't have to like it. I feel like
I'm supposed to play it. Yeah, I do like it. I do
want to play certain aspects of it. It's just that it continually hurls so
many things I don't want to do at me. But like, literally tomorrow,
I want to play Sea of Stars. I would rather sit down and
play Sea of Stars. I've played Sea of Stars. I agree with everything
Mary said. I think it's more worthwhile than Starfield. That's really fun,
like and knowing that it's the Messenger team. This kind of like Paper Mario
Kombat. Such a solid it's such a solid love letter to Corona Trick.
And because they nail it so well and we know this, this dev team
is capable of handling beloved classics and paying like homage to them in a beautiful
way. This is a good risk. I'm telling you, like, this
is worth the gamble to try it because it's it's just made by quality team
and they did it again. I actually think that in terms of like difficulty,
this is their opus, Like this is a crazy thing that they took
on, Like, who the fuck is like, we're gonna try and make
something, uh, you know that is of the caliber of Corona Trigger.
Everyone would laugh at you. Everyone'd be like, are you nuts? Get
out of here. You're going to embarrass yourself. This is a good,
good game. Okay, I'm in. You sold me. You single handedly
sold me on the game. Yeah. Cool, we'll talk about it.
The Game of the Year my second favorite JRPG. I like, what's your
first Octopath Traveler too? I'm still obsessed with Oh that's cool. I love
of the year. I think like there's room for these games. It's just
very few and far between that I get into them because they're very talky and
because they require like me to pay attention so much. A lot of times
I'm like, I don't have the patience for this. It's like reading a
book. This game, I haven't felt like that. I have enjoyed the
combat. Mary, as a fellow lover of Dewey games, have you tried
Armored Corps? No? Should I? I had zero fucking interest. I
had zero interest right away, Mary, I think you should give it a
shot. I tell you what a pact here. All start to have stars,
you start Armored Corps. All right, wouldn't neither us have to beat
anything. Let's just give it a good old, real try to the point
where we can talk about it if it comes up at Game of the Year.
I'll try your stars. You try Armored Corps. Okay, okay,
fires A rub I have no idea what to expect, but I would love
to hear it next to fires A Wrangler. Yeah, so many. I
don't know if I don't get the planet or what did you say, Mary,
fires of Rubicon? I know that's name of the game, and I
said fires of Wrangler. Those are two jeep types. Oh that was a
joke, ohepdcast. Do you guys want to do emails. I got a
a funny joke arboard Caryota, Corolla, fires of Pinto, fires of Dodd
Ram, fires of Rav four actually sounds pretty sick. That sounds cool fires
of Corolla. I'm gonna be fires of CenTra. I don't know enough about
cars. I don't know enough car makes and models to keep that joke going.
To be honest with you, now, I'm alone, so no one
could enjoy it anyway. Well would I even say armored core fires of Chevrolet.
I don't know any kinds of Chevrolets. I feel like I know the
fancy cars from like rap songs. You know, you know, armored core
fires of Lamborghini. But I don't think that works for a game at all.
I'm still alone. I am alone, and I don't have anything interesting
to say because I don't know enough about cars to keep this joke going.
I wish it was about something that I knew, or subjects about what other
cars are there. I think there's too many cars. Uh, Lightning McQueen
is a car, but I don't think that that's a Maker model. I
think that's a Disney character Armored core. Lightning McQueen is not a bad name.
I would buy that I'm not going to talk about this anymore, and
then getting into emails as usually you can run through fires get cast at gmail
dot com pretty questions, comments, concerns, corrections. We got a bunch
since last week the mount Rushmore, a fast food really waylate our community,
it looks like. But we also got several really good, uh good questions
today that I'm sure we'll not be contentious whatsoever. This first one, though,
is from Justin from San Marcos, Texas, which I left the entire
thing here. It looks kind of long. Mary, I'd like you to
read this. However, If San Marcos, Texas is ringing a bell,
that's because we, uh we read something from someone from there. And uh,
I remember every city from every email. It's everyone sent to any podcast
I've ever been on. Sorry, so it just came in. The hell
happened? So it just came in because this is an office. The fuck
don't they know we're recording fires? Ninja? Was it mister beasts doing there?
I've reached the end of my list of streamers. I hope that's about
it. We're famous ones, but I'm like, I'm all like hungered in
this chair like a little bit. Was it Paul Logan or Jake Logan Logan?
I know he's a wrestler, I know him. Was there just names?
No? Was it? Was it Bryce McKinley, angry video game nerd?
That seems like that could be a real one. He was a guy?
Was it someone from Friends? Per second? Was not any of them?
Someone from kind of Funny from the Besties? Yeah, it was Ninja.
We already discussed. Sorry, he's the CEO of the Besties. Oh
okay, yeah, they talked about it all the time. Was Ninja?
Oh? Why Dan's so proud that he like stumped you? Oh? Yeah,
Well, I mean I think it's hard to describe because I think,
yes, I think you could say that about any person who had this huge
leap into stardom, which is like, are they maintaining it? It's such
a ridiculous question to ask, Like, to get there at all is such
an enormous feat. Dan, What's what's Michael Kaine's next movie? Ooh?
If Michael Kaine dies before Monday. No, I'm not saying. I'm just
saying, like, I love that you like got her for not knowing what
Ninja's up. No, I didn't get her no her, no, no,
no, that was what that sound was. That sounds like it sounds
like a start might have fallen a little bit. It wasn't that, like
because Goose is cooked. But that's what we say about everybody who's ever made
it. Like, that's the conundrum be cooked as a society, have done
two stars or to like influencers at the very least, which is time.
We're like bitter about them for getting there at all, right, because when
somebody makes it, you say stuff like they never deserved it, and then
we all for the drop off, which is like they fell off. You
know, you're an ever what you wear, but people say that about us
and like you know, the sites and everything. So we're all we're all
we're all fallen stars living it up. I don't need any of him to
stream anymore. I'm fine without him. But that's interesting, Like who is
someone that like because you always hear about these like, oh, excut is
the biggest thing in the world, and like, but then you hear about
these guys for like two years, then you don't hear about him, So
like, who is someone who Yeah, who is someone that's like had the
longevity you knows are in that space, but noted not. I think a
lot of the ones that are actually uh doing a really good over time are
maybe not the names that you read about in the papers. Day nine has
been extremely successful, has been able to do this for a living and hasn't
faltered his entire career. And he's a really good example of someone who's like,
I take breaks and I this is my career. But maybe he's not
in the newspapers like these other people. But he's also he's maintaining that level
of like cool stardoms. He's kind of like, oh, you know,
Beauty Pie made a bajillion dollars and showed up on Colbert and then like,
I don't know if he's still a big deal or anything. You fly too
close to the sun, you know what I mean. Like, I think
it's ideal to like stay in that that neutral zone where you're like, some
people know me, but not a lot of like Terry Funk. Terry he
is not the great great comparison. He burned out in the most literal sins
ever. Yeah, I feel like you get to a certain we get here
because he killed them. Yeah, Mary read this thing from Justin. This
is not a question or anything. This is a calling back to a recent
episode or someone said they claimed that they were the only fan from San Marcos,
Texas, and I want Justin to get his time in the spotlight to
call okay former reader out okay. This is in response to the reckless slander
recently befouling this podcast from Andrew parentheses if that is his real name, parentheses
from quote San Marcos, Texas, parentheses if that is his real city and
state, and parentheses who had the goal to proclaim himself fires gives only San
Marcos fam This is very funny already. While I have been advised not to
speak publicly on this case as it works its way through the circuit courts,
I must point out that the first email from San Marcos, Texas which you
read on the show was mine. I'm the guy who had a probably delicious
bowl of mushroom bisk ruined by Dan's decision to suddenly chat at length about the
composition of raw sewage. I think that was an episode I wasn't on.
That doesn't that was probably raw sewage. Every third episode that bisk was heated
in a microwave oven in San Marcos, Texas. Only to be poured down
a sink in San Marcos, Texas by a technically hungry but nauseous man in
San Marcos, Texas who immediately recognized the fire escape community would want to know
about it, right, and who would think such a thing if not fire
Escapes original and biggest fire escape fan. I'll tell you none other than Justin
from San Marcos, Texas. And if I see you in public, first
round at the tap room is on me. If I see you in private,
ready yourself for death. Bellicos regards Justin, the original fan from San
Marcos, Texas. This is brilliant. What do we have to do for
Andrew and Justin to meet on a street corner in San Marco's ideally wearing fire
skipt take a picture of them doing like a normal combat matchup screen, angry
at each other, and then tweeted to us, which we can retweet.
Does ever has done everything you can? I mean, if Andrew doesn't meet
him at the tap room, Capital T Capital R, I think Andrew's just
kind of a baby my thing because yeah, Andrew's kind of blowing up Justin's
spot. Well, Justin and Andrew, if you both want to contact each
other film you fail us that you're that you want to us to share information
and we can hook you guys up. If you both wanted film your fight,
send it to me privately. I'll do what I do with those kind
of videos. And then of the death match gets some get surprize. Oh
yeah, you're not dead is the prize? No? Just kid? All
right, Dan, thank you just I don't know if I should thank you,
but that was justin uh. Dan? Read this one from Jack from
London. Hey, Mary, Dan, and Mike. The bad one question,
okay, everyone gets a turn. The bath toup question from a few
episodes ago has been bouncing around my servile. No, no, Dan,
I think you miss Get on your carpet square, eat your fucking fruit.
Snatural, Let me keep reading. Fan has the talking stick ahead dance all
right? The bath top question from a few episodes ago has been bouncing around
my circle of friends for weeks now, and I'm fairly sure. Okay,
for those who aren't patrons watching the videos, thing, Mike is mocking me
while I'm turn your chair around. Turn your chair around for the duration of
this. All right, Mary, keep an eye on him. All right,
I'm fairly sure this has caused a noticeable drop in productivity in my office
as well. Today someone asked a new question if can we see his lugging
thing for his spone? Did you catch that he just lugged into a sphone?
All right, probably but jeweled that's this thing. Yeah. Today someone
asked a new question, if you had to compete, you know, that's
he's starting around it. For those watching the video version, he's being a
scamp. Read the email. Today someone asked a new question, if you
had to compete in the Olympics and not be discovered as not a professional athlete,
what sport would you choose? So you have to compete in the Olympics
and not be discovered as not so you basically have to like it. Okay,
yeah, keep reading because he clarifies. Okay, what sport would you
choose? What would be your strategy for avoiding detection. Let's say let's a
hit Man level, but you have to like, you know, you gotta
pass as whatever. Let's say you get three months to prepare and you can
spend some money on anything you might need. Personally, I'd be aiming for
an early catastrophic injury on something like the high dive in order to minimize my
screen time, but I appreciate this as high risk. Keep the podcast coming
and Danny have to watch a Taskmaster Jack from London. This is a great
question. Yeah, so we have to like seem possible as like not just
some schmove that got shoved into the Olympics as a break but avoid embarrassing yourself
on Yeah, and with three months to prepare, Okay, you're like,
what's really discharge versus the embarrassment? Yeah? Can it be a team?
Yeah? Anything in the Olympics. M okay. I My first thought was
like, oh, like shot put is just throwing something, but then like
the body composition of a shot putter and the ability to throw a heavy thing,
Like, there's no way in three months I'm getting to a point where
I'm passible as a shot putter or that's not one absolutely not. Your instincts
are spot on there. Yeah, thanks to Mary for confirming what you already
knew that I'm a week set. But I'm I'm like, I don't know,
I don't know. Somehow I had like just such a horrid face when
it even came up as a wouldn't work that, but like, yeah,
we know. Thanks for walking us. What are you saying? What do
you see here? Here's my h So I guess you know doing the four
hundred meter is out for me because even in three months, I don't know
if I could win that. We're so to his question, like what is
what is a an event you could spend an in ornament inordinate amount of money
on to get good at in three months you have all the money ever you
could get like bionic surgery. But he's not saying that. That's actually not
what he says. He says you can spend some money. He doesn't say
you get money. He says we could spend money, spend different question.
In my head, I think he's really saying, like just like something that
you think you could hide in the background in and I think curling because it's
a team sport. It's really Winter Olympics. You can Winter Olympics. That
you can that you can use the broom. I can learn how to broom.
That could be really months. That's a good one. Do they get
a metal? Way the brewers get metals? Yes, the team gets a
metal. It's a game sport that's valid. Yeah, that's good. Non
Mary, you answered half the question, what would you do to have to
bow out of the Olympics to non embarrass yourself? Which one like, would
I not join because there's no way that I could pretend? No. The
question is like, okay, so you have proven you have gotten you have
kind of like buy a fluke, gotten onto this curling team. What would
you do to either get injured or like maybe that don't see that. That's
his question. It's like, what would you do if you've read this question
prof Olympics. He gave a personal anecdote about Oh, I would aim if
you had to compete in the Olympics and not be discovered as not a professional
athlete, what sport would you choose? What would be your strategy for avoiding
detection? Personally? I would casting, Okay, I read that, Oh
no, I see you're answering it with like one you read it like two
birds one stone, Like, oh, so you're saying the Boomers could get
into Olympics by doing that and also be avoid detection by not being an athlete
because they're Boomers, right, Because there would and I'm fine. I think
I would hide in the background and no one would say she's cheating. They
would just say I guess she's as good as the other boers. Bad.
Okay, I would just blend in, Yeah, I feel like we're insulting
burmers. Maybe maybe they're not that's the term. I think they're the flankers.
Uh yeah, that's a good answer, I think, but we're probably
pissing some curlers off. Would I think I would do pull vaulting and my
sister was a high school track coach. I would just ask her how to
do it. I think I'd passed, and you would, and you would,
and you would get admitted into the Olympics by just asking your little sister
how to pull vault No, I think, aren't we thrown into the Olympics,
like we're no no, no, He says, Okay, let me
you might give us read. I think Mike's you gotta be You've got to
get into the Olympics if you had to go. He doesn't say, if
you have, you get in. You're right. That makes me You were
getting thrust into this thing and you have three months to do the best you
can. Okay, Okay clearly shows up and says you're a pole flter in
the Olympics. Guys, I think I've proven beyond a doubt that I'm the
moron tonight. You're right? Okay? Is there an Olympic sport for being
able to read a paragraph? I don't even know if you do that?
Jack Jack from one, and I'm very sorry. I've been sucking this up.
Okay, now he's got the sound effect, right. I could read
in the Olympics. That'd be sick. Okay, Dan, But here's my
question, what would you do to avoid looking like an idiot in the poll?
Will just be good at it? I'm gonna ask Kayla. I'd be
like, Hey, what do I do? Dan? You're going to face
plant and you're gonna be hurt. And you're gonna face plant and you're gonna
be hurt. What is your real How would you really? I'm okay,
Olympic No, go back to pole vault? Stop jumping? How could you?
I couldn't, There's no. The joke was, that's the thing I
could be the worst at. You would impale yourself in front of America and
they would make T shirts with you on it. Okay, I I think
I could get like in three months, I could at least learn what my
form is supposed to somewhat look like with the javelin throw. But my here's
my here's what I would do from out on this one would be from my
understanding, you get two throws or something, and I'm making to make the
first one look like a fluke that kicks me out. I would have to
spear somebody in the audience with the first throwin. Oh, I got one,
I got one. Okay, is she's standing there? What's that baby
doing there? I got the answer. I got the answer. You can
spend money on whatever you want. It's fine if you get out by some
catastrophe injury thing and and they take you out. You don't actually have to
compete to what I'm doing. I'm signing up for the hurdles, so I'm
gonna do the hurdle competition. And right before the opening gun, I've paid
Mary to Tanya Harding my knee. That's good, that's the answer. That's
goods. Yeah, but yeah, no, that's yeah, I did it.
Did it? So you use the money. That's really I mean,
I guess that's a more one to one yea. Make them think like they're
just trying to Yeah, I want to be the Tanya Harding. Yeah,
that's what I want to be. Pull vaulting, and then why do we
keep moving off of pull vaulting when you don't need to think hurdles. I
think me, I'm down there, my knee is out already because I'm ready.
I'm ready to go. I'm ready to hurdle. You need Yeah,
but this mask really cool woman comes out and just smash name can dress up
like sub zero or whatever you want. Yeah, wait, I was,
and I was Rudo. Run out of there. I've got one. I
got one, I got one. I am doing the javelin throw Stop.
My javelin goes off course hits Dan in the calf while he's rinding up for
the pole vault. They don't do them simultaneously. I don't know. I
don't think that would line up. Probably, Yeah, they got to do
something simultaneously. It's a lot of people from around the world, not all
of the same physical space where they're throwing sharp sticks. Uh, have you
ever been in the Olympics some kind of like freak movie that you guys are
concocting where you guys are like trying to make sure that you can both escape
the Olympics without looking like absolute idiots, and you both get arrested and then
I win a gold sounds like an amazing Hitman level. Shuffling girl. God,
the Olympics would be a really we talked about this on like episod SO
thirty or something. What would be a good Hitman level that hasn't been done
Olympic winter, winter and summer. Yes, yes, but I think pole
vaulting would be more interesting if there were spears flying at them while they're running
towards the Yeah, all sports would be Yeah, that's true. All sports
could be improved by a couple of good jacks. People wouldn't be so psyched
about Aaron Rodgers on the Jets if they're javelins flying at him during a couple
of crocs in a pit, you know what I mean? Imagine that the
offensive coordinators like, hey, I think they're blitzing. Also, they're like
seven spears flying at you right now, so you should hike the ball and
throw it and got perry them. Olympics would be so much better if when
you're pole vaulting, you're pole vaulting over something that would severely injure you if
you couldn't get over it. White hospital, the plastic thing you have to
it's not plastic it's molten, not molten, because it wouldn't be a poll
anymore. But it's white hot long jump. But there's a bunch of baby
crap. You have to Mario long jump over a bunch of babies. I
can imagine the coach and the babies have spears that they can poke you with.
Man Mike Mhardy's Olympic dreams were cut horribly short when he smashed a baby.
Like three of them jump and that just absolutely crushed him wearing those spiked
shoes, and the moon just caves. The baby's hidden. Mario's running,
Mario's running at the platform, He's gonna jump off, and the coach here's
He's like, no, don't do the triple jump, and then he does
and then just smashes an infant. Let the butts up. You actually hat
to see you again. Then I sweep it out. Yes there go,
I'm so good, Yes and seen. Thanks for your thank you jack from
ye All right, go on, that's a good one. Which question?
Oh this is a fun one? All right? Hey? Firstly, I
love the podcast. Every time I see a new one in my feed,
my half hour drive home each day feels like it flies by and I'm actually
map when my Friday drive home ends before the podcast does. If you ever
get down to Melbourne, Dan, you need to try an HSP Mike.
I think you'd like this as a boozy snack shaved lamb on top of chips,
smothered in cheese, garlic sauce, and any of hot chili, sweet
chili barbecue sauce. Dan, sounds really love sweet chili sauce over there.
Yeah, sounds amazing, So fire skate. My question to you is if
your hands had to permanently excrete a small amount of non bodily liquid from your
palms at a slow rate, what would it be? Cheers Steve from Melbourne
Sanitizer pent I'll just be printing, printing liquid gold. Hold out of these
fangs, like sure, I'll be clammy, but like everybody will want to
shake these myths. You can do. You can do straight up. Okay,
I didn't think about the benefit thing. I was just trying to think
of the least gross thing. Okay, I'm talking about of course you did.
Well. No, I would like to get rich off this freakish thing
going on with my hands. Liquid gold, though I think you would need
I don't know how liquid gold works. You're gonna hire like a smelter whoever
turns it into real gold, or hire a smelter. Mike, guess you
know a smelter. I'm saying, baby squashing, non illiterate piece of ship.
You just thank you. Wait, I was thinking, what is the
thing that be the easiest to get rich off of, because like you need
to figure out the liquid gold turn to real goil thing. Oh yeah,
it's oil. It's oil. Wait, would I be a super you just
tell me if oil is flammable. I know gasoline is, but I don't
really know the same thing. But I think I'm gonna go with oil.
I think I'm going with oils. Dude, you nasty. I would never
fucking want to be like hanging out with a dude who's secreting oil out of
his pores. I would. I would do the oil thing until I know
what I mean, petrol petrol until I was ritching. But stink, No,
Dan, you don't. It's a temporary thing. The way I'm gonna
do it. No, I'm gonna secrete the oil into tubs and shut up.
I'm gonna put the oil, the hand oil into tubs and sell it.
Until I'm rich enough to go to a doctor some doctor nick situation where
he'll take my hands off and give me just robot of hands. Terminate your
hands, and then I don't have to cut your hands off. So there
was little riching about cutting your hands off. Okay, that seems fair.
There's your hands permanently excreed a small amount of bodily fluid. If it's coming
from somewhere in your body and it coming out your hands, it says coming
from your palms. I think if you cut off your palms, that's safe.
That's no what your body might fill up. If something is permanently coming
out of your palms. The source of that liquid is not in your palms,
So cutting off your hands is not going to but it would keep it
in the rest of your body. You might like balloon up it comes from,
Yes, it has to be. It wouldn't be in your hands if
it's permanent. Maybe it wasn't cut off my palm balls. Yeah, you
can just cut everything off the neck and just have a robot body. I
would you if you cut down far enough, you could get the secretion planned
out. Okay, for like a catheter thing on your arms, you know,
that's like screak about the sacrifice by not having either of your hands and
being like now I'm solving it. Like no, no, no, no
no, no no no no no, Dan said, robot hands. He's
assuming like these are going to be cybernanic problem because he's an idiot. He's
not gonna get robot hands. He's just not gonna have hands. You're rich
enough to get mental hands. But I can control with my brain. This
is this is your Okay, for argument's sake, let me amend Steve email
a bit and say that the source of the oils, it's your heart is
pumping it out. So oh so that's come out of your heart. The
source of the liquid kill you? No, your body is adapted to it
somehow. Oh cool, okay, in your hearts of war, you know.
Yeah. Also, what if it's secretion? Isn't that much? Like
what if when you have oil it takes you like twenty years to fill one
drum, which it comes out of your palms at a slow rates? What
if they come out of every finger with like fire hose pressure. No,
he says at a slow rate in the email, Oh my god, like
a a x men. Yeah. Yeah, but like like your fingers have
gona rhea with a specific liquid. What would the liquid be? The discharge
is wrong with you. I don't know. I'm just headsease. It's not
skirting, it's just dripping. It's a discharge. It is still like I've
had it so much about that, I haven't had it two times. I'm
just saying, gonam a hearty. You're back in town. Mothers, lock
up your daughters. It's gonna ream a hearty and your sons, as we
lovingly call him, your parents. Everyone, Dude, hide your trees.
He's coming at you and the discharge is flowing slowly. Ohkay, dude,
I don't know. I think that handarrhea is pretty bad. Wouldn't water maybe
be the easiest thing here, because it's like it's not it's not offensive,
it's if you were in a pickle, it'd be good to just have a
source of water at all times if you're out on a run or whatever.
Yeah, like you just suck on a finger, suck on a finger.
Yeah, maybe water used the right thing or like like a fun like like
vitamin water zero or something. Best case scenario, you're just on a desert,
You're just on a desert Island. You're sucking on your hands for an
eternity specific example, what about blue gatorade? What about some watermelon? Hint
water? What what about pample Moose, Lacroix, damn it? Yeah?
Oh what about gin and juice? And it's like a really nice I was
gonna say, like, maybe it's in your heart. Guys, you're fucked
up. Maybe it says maybe it says too much about me, But I
was gonna say, like a sixty eight Chateau Margo, you're just always fucking
drunk, licking them palmps. Your shirts are all stayed to help, so
nasty, like a fucking cow is drinking out of its own utter. Imagine
I have my somale a license because I'm just permanently like discharging Chateau Margo,
and I'm coming up to people at the tables at like Michelin Star wrest Are
like here you go, somebody your hands, No you yeah, let's go
faster. If you milk it like a cow water, I'd like to think,
so yeah, he go. Hi, it's gonna be three hundred and
fifty dollars. It's gonna be so lumpy. Keep go, you can make
money off that the pieces of skin, and you're like a little drunk from
the whole the whole life going through your blood. I'm always Stevo got the
IV of vodka. I'm always jizzed. As they say, oh sorry,
I gave you the Gonorea hand, it's the left one that has them or
low Oh can you like dual wheel? Can you like by a shop plasmic
situation? Why the fuck not, We're already in some kind of insane dystopia
ju and juice. Now we're talking rolling in his grave or whatever wherever he
is, and he's like, why didn't they It's like Skyrim. I got
one hand that's gonorehaing oil jelly or peanut butter and jelly, the great No,
we're talking I fucking have jam hands. I would never pay. I
got one hand is the batter for tortilla chips into a fryer, and then
I got nacho cheese out of the other fingers. Inconvenient Just buy him.
It's not even cost effective. No, it's this inconvenience at best. You
fucking live with peanut butter and jelly, the cheapest of sandwich ump ship every
day. Dan has had one today and yesterday and the day before. Dan
has the food producing power of the century, and he goes with Pebe and
j formation well, and I only eat super chunk, So I would have
like chunky ship coming out of my fingers. Be terrible. I would my
hands were clogged again. They got all the nuts in there, snake in
there. I got one. You could do uh like on one hand and
it would be bud light and then out of the other it would be uh
like a chet, like a chateaubrion or a hot brion. It would be
like a like a low class like a low brow high brow thing. You
could just no matter what kind of party you're at, it would be you'd
be certain people when Mike's when Mike suggested nat your cheese for mine, I
was like, how dare you so? Do you think I am a parody
of myself? And then Mike's like, oh, w chettau booby doo.
It'd be great. I I don't know what else I would like. Barbecue
sauce would be good. I think water in a hand sanitizer are one and
two for me. Why water, it's not It's not bad, it's water.
Keep it nice and you'd keep it nice and clean. It's in a
very available if you're on a run or something, or a long bike ride.
Just like I really think that would be the one thing in your lifestyle
is preventing you from having water on hand when you go for a running water
while I'm like on a bike er, I gotta stop, I gotta get
off, I gotta grab the bottle, I gotta twist the thing. I
gotta do a deal. If I could just like just suck on a finger,
but it's permanently coming out of slow rate. You got slowly. Yeah,
you have to wear that are just like bags that are tied on your
wrist, so you slowly fill up these bags. Any option is going to
be inconvenient. I think water would be the least inconvenient. I think water
is the least inconvenient, considering we were also considering chunky peanut butter. Thank
you for your question. I was just I don't I what, Yeah,
what I guess that's what is the liquid that would in no way be inconvenient?
There is there is no That's that's the answer. Dan has it that
would be inconvenient, invenient, the least inconvenient. That's what I'm saying,
is there anything that would be not inconvenient? Old you freak al right,
just hop, skip and jump you right there. I'm just always ready for
anal like too much. There's never you can't do too much lube, So
there's no liquid that could come out of your fingers that would not be an
inconvenience. No water would be the least inconvenient, but it's so very inconvenient,
like typing on a keyboard, fuck up every keyboard mouse, like maybe
covering controls stick or something. Yeah, yeah, again, you'd be like
gloves, you'd be wearing plastic medical gloves and then they would just fill up
your gloves. That's what I thank you. You need to make all of
your rooms like a Dexter kill room. Yeah, that's everything out of frame,
Mike shot plastic guys. Have you been here? All right? Yeah?
Thank you? Steve from Melbourne. All right, Fire skate cast at
gmail dot com. Do you are sending questions for nex episode in episode sixty
four? Right in there? Good questions tonight. People. People are getting
us finally. It took two years. It took two and a half years.
People are finally getting us. They know what makes us tick. I
enjoy it. That's firescape cast at gmail dot com. In the meantime,
really quick again, Mary, we've got new merch We mentioned it twice already,
but check our socials, check our Patreon. We will have a link
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Go get them. Yeah, and then also as usual, if you
are not a patron, go to Patreon, go to firescapecast dot com.
You can treat it like a chip trip Oh my jod. You can treat
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Mary's pineapple to me. And that is not a euphemism. Nope. Outside
of that, Dan, what do you have going on a giant bomb dot
com? Still doing the twitch stuff. Yeah, I'm settled in. I'm
settled into the new place. It's it's working out very well. So getting
back into the groove of things. So just keep an eye out at the
usual spots. All right, you're Twitch dot tv slash dan Rykert for those
who are round Mary, what about you also on Twitch streaming every Monday and
enjoying it thoroughly. It's also September, so it's like a good time to
do twitch. That's it. I think that's really I'm I'm working on that
and like work, so nothing else cool for me. What about you,
Mike? I just to Polygon read Polygon dot com got a lot of great
stuff going up. I edit most of the stuff. I don't write as
much, but I do write. So go check out some stuff a Polygon.
Mary, I guess this is one more thing. Uh. Anybody listening
who is not subscribed to fire Escape's YouTube channel, go do so. It's
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Mary and I are playing through resume for remake with Resident kinevil H. We're
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a patron outside of that episode sixty three in the books. Thanks everybody,
Yeah, thanks, thanks for you, guys. We'll be back, well,
we'll be back. We'll be back on twenty five, right before you,
guys are a couple of weeks before you, guys are coming to New
York. Cool. I got a New York wedding in October. I got
a San Francisco wedding in October. Got busy back half of the year here,
but can't wait. All right, Thank you everybody for joining. You
could have been anywhere in the world tonight, be you chose to spend it
with us. Thank you for joining. We'll see you in a couple of
weeks. By everyone. By was five