WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:22.120 Comedy Central Podcast. Thank you, thank you, good night. Before I 2 00:00:22.160 --> 00:00:25.839 begin that I would like to know what the public today looks like the latest 3 00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:29.039 steps have been taken by the Government to get out of the crisis, so 4 00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:33.799 that we can get out of it that you found wrong. I think the 5 00:00:33.840 --> 00:00:35.799 last ones have sung to you. They' ve all sung to us, 6 00:00:35.960 --> 00:00:40.079 because I haven' t seen any complaints on the street, no demonstrations for 7 00:00:40.119 --> 00:00:43.520 this last measure that they thought they called it as between the league and the 8 00:00:43.520 --> 00:00:46.439 champion game. There are many days and with many days you have time to 9 00:00:46.439 --> 00:00:47.920 think. And if they think, they' ll get pissed off. If 10 00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:50.880 they get angry, they show up. If they show up, they get 11 00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:53.280 violent. And they get violent, they can bully us. If you fuck 12 00:00:53.280 --> 00:00:54.759 us, they' ll take us off the couch. If you don' 13 00:00:54.799 --> 00:00:56.799 t get off the couch, we stop living at the expense of those taxes. 14 00:00:56.840 --> 00:01:00.399 So you have to live from something and invent something to distract it. 15 00:01:00.479 --> 00:01:03.799 He goes over there and said it was too long and he said why better. 16 00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:10.599 We don' t put it the southern one. You' ve seen 17 00:01:10.599 --> 00:01:11.040 that it' s subsidized. Don' t tell me you don' t. 18 00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:15.439 That' s when I started freaking out about the crisis. I mean, 19 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:18.040 we' re going down. We spent no time paying fifteen bucks for 20 00:01:18.079 --> 00:01:23.680 a gintonic to drink beer in buckets. Now start really freaking out the day 21 00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:27.280 you get to seal the arrest card and tell you his shots of Jagger maisterng. 22 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:38.359 That' s where the thing goes down. Okay, the government' 23 00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:40.879 s invention very well, since they can' t offer you an indefinite contract. 24 00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:45.280 They offer you to be an alcoholic. Discontinuated those very cheap fat. 25 00:01:45.400 --> 00:01:48.640 Three euros a bucket very cheap. Very much I' ve seen Chinese buy 26 00:01:48.680 --> 00:01:55.840 beer in the normal Southern drunks is not that how you' re going to 27 00:01:56.439 --> 00:01:57.840 complain drunk, drunk, we don' t complain about anything. So with 28 00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:00.519 the first cube you heat up eh so with the second cube. The only 29 00:02:00.560 --> 00:02:05.560 thing you care about not getting caught eating fuet while you pay in the box 30 00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:07.599 pussy that with the third how you cross with a short latin dressed as a 31 00:02:07.599 --> 00:02:14.159 sailor. You say I sneak into a fucking communion you say I don' 32 00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:15.479 t know what you' re saying is not that I cut it in education 33 00:02:15.479 --> 00:02:19.759 look. I just studied a long time ago. Don' t make me 34 00:02:19.919 --> 00:02:23.599 choose between three euros a bucket of beer and you finish the race. Especially 35 00:02:23.680 --> 00:02:28.319 because we all know that going ten times to the South, you get validated 36 00:02:30.280 --> 00:02:32.680 journalism and if you owe yourself fifteen cubes, you are already ready to present 37 00:02:32.680 --> 00:02:38.840 sports four. I mean, I' m cool, I' m cool 38 00:02:38.840 --> 00:02:40.240 because you' re in the South, all the troubles are over. It 39 00:02:40.280 --> 00:02:45.080 ' s like moving you to Germany. You' ve figured it out in 40 00:02:45.199 --> 00:02:46.080 the back, you don' t care. It' s all right. 41 00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:50.360 You don' t care about your country' s problems, except for one 42 00:02:50.400 --> 00:02:53.639 thing that makes you remember that you' re still in Spain, and that 43 00:02:53.680 --> 00:03:06.919 ' s because they' ve tied the opener with a chain that' s 44 00:03:07.080 --> 00:03:08.400 like telling you they' re telling you to face take five bottles of glass, 45 00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:10.879 take a table. If you pay enough, you can wear a short 46 00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:16.759 latin dressed as a sailor, but if you want an opener, get yourself 47 00:03:16.759 --> 00:03:22.319 a job. Dude. We' ve been using the openers above our possibilities. 48 00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:27.080 That' s where I' d like to see this invention take it 49 00:03:27.080 --> 00:03:29.479 further and we could. I don' t know how to include it in 50 00:03:29.479 --> 00:03:34.840 the metric system, in the measurement system that we have now, to include 51 00:03:35.759 --> 00:03:38.360 the beer cube as a measure, especially to measure the shit that is in 52 00:03:38.400 --> 00:03:42.120 your life, that I tell you a partner aunt, yesterday I fucked the 53 00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:51.840 ugliest of work, but since it was ugly seven cubes. You love it 54 00:03:51.879 --> 00:03:55.080 because in the Southerns the two weaknesses of my life come together and they will 55 00:03:55.120 --> 00:04:00.599 be until I die the beer and you women. Yes, I am the 56 00:04:00.599 --> 00:04:04.639 weakness of my life, because I believe that you overcome man in many facets, 57 00:04:05.120 --> 00:04:08.439 in many not in all, in many, and I will give a 58 00:04:08.439 --> 00:04:10.400 couple of examples. Besides, you can check it out for yourself. Next 59 00:04:10.479 --> 00:04:13.759 time you' re walking through your various, there are two aunts speaking, 60 00:04:14.120 --> 00:04:21.639 please, come closer. There is pure philosophy there, there are lessons of 61 00:04:21.720 --> 00:04:25.720 life that, perhaps, they are speaking something transcendental of life or death. 62 00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:30.399 They' re haitiam because I' m not going to mess with a lot 63 00:04:30.439 --> 00:04:33.000 of guys in the neighborhood, because if I' m not going to start 64 00:04:33.040 --> 00:04:39.120 getting a bad name, they' re going to talk bad about me and 65 00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:40.879 it' s not a very good plan. That' s what I like 66 00:04:40.959 --> 00:04:43.000 about you guys. Not in plotting hours, if you mess with many or 67 00:04:43.040 --> 00:04:45.959 few not, if of those prejudiced ones, but I like that you evaluate 68 00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:55.199 the consequences and decide accordingly, because there is a guy in this case who 69 00:04:55.279 --> 00:04:59.920 thinks fuck if he was uncle is going to be more slutty. Are we 70 00:04:59.920 --> 00:05:03.839 like this? Yeah, we' re assholes like that? Another example? 71 00:05:03.959 --> 00:05:06.519 Another example. You have a couple, my friend Joya, we have a 72 00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:09.800 son. Ask him for my question the next time you agree with them, 73 00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:13.399 ask them to see what they prefer to be when Nazca says so I, 74 00:05:13.680 --> 00:05:17.959 you don' t care whether it' s a girl boy, you' 75 00:05:20.120 --> 00:05:24.959 re going to want it crazy we prefer a boy why you go for games. 76 00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:26.759 Yeah, well, if you have a kid or beans to throw at 77 00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:30.680 Hostia, you' re going to play it with chota football and that' 78 00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:32.480 s good. Oh, ma' am, that' s good. Hey, 79 00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:39.240 but if you have a little girl, the dumbest one in your whole 80 00:05:39.319 --> 00:05:50.600 gang will be every day of your life. We are yes, you can 81 00:05:50.720 --> 00:05:54.600 laugh because your boyfriend, your father, your brother has also said this when 82 00:05:54.639 --> 00:05:57.480 you were not at all ahead. Because actually, even if I don' 83 00:05:57.519 --> 00:06:01.000 t recognize him now, that' s a happy father, because a happy 84 00:06:01.000 --> 00:06:03.560 father tells me guys. He' s not one who wants a perfect daughter, 85 00:06:03.759 --> 00:06:09.000 who takes out two races and gets an honest and perfect family all her 86 00:06:09.000 --> 00:06:10.600 life. No. No, no, no, no, a father to 87 00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:16.560 be happy. What she wants is a daughter with no vagina, no holes 88 00:06:16.639 --> 00:06:20.519 to penetrate, that comes the day of childbirth the standard and I tell her 89 00:06:20.560 --> 00:06:26.839 you had this beautiful daughter, but she' s born without pussy mother fuck 90 00:06:26.959 --> 00:06:29.439 that turns eighteen the girl and I tell you, dad I' m leaving 91 00:06:29.439 --> 00:06:34.319 now I come I don' t care or I go on vacation with Mario. 92 00:06:34.439 --> 00:06:41.759 I' ll pay you. That' s a happy father, the 93 00:06:41.800 --> 00:06:51.480 problem is the day that comes to you with earache. No, no, 94 00:06:51.639 --> 00:06:55.800 what happened to him. You don' t see it as shit on your 95 00:06:55.800 --> 00:07:00.680 head. I told you hearing pain. The girl could have gone to the 96 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:08.759 pool, she could have caught cold skiing, but you didn' t all 97 00:07:08.759 --> 00:07:12.519 go to shit, which I thought when I wrote this. So don' 98 00:07:12.519 --> 00:07:15.240 t stop looking at me weird. I' m super riéras that if for 99 00:07:15.319 --> 00:07:20.199 them, we dress has no more a look done, containing it in all 100 00:07:20.279 --> 00:07:24.959 the lights and let' s get out of here a look that I have 101 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:27.160 seen And every thing why you worry uncle I explain it already, because the 102 00:07:27.240 --> 00:07:30.439 aunts know, all the tricks fell with clothes, everyone knows. I have 103 00:07:30.439 --> 00:07:32.519 learned some I have two sisters aim, guys, to see how it is 104 00:07:32.839 --> 00:07:38.360 girls, that the vertical stripe is not of the gazan and the horizontal ones 105 00:07:38.759 --> 00:07:42.519 make you fat yes, what white color you fatten, no, and black 106 00:07:42.519 --> 00:07:44.639 you thin. Which is what I think is the other way around. No. 107 00:07:44.639 --> 00:07:45.839 It' s not like that, no. No. It' s 108 00:07:45.839 --> 00:07:46.720 clearly the other way around. It' s the other way around. It 109 00:07:46.720 --> 00:07:49.279 ' s the other way around because you put a white man and a black 110 00:07:49.279 --> 00:07:51.519 man in balls. It' s clear that the white of the gazah and 111 00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:55.639 the black in Gorda. No. No, no, no, no, 112 00:07:55.959 --> 00:07:58.279 no, don' t laugh that if this were true stripes and colors, 113 00:07:58.839 --> 00:08:05.439 uh there would already be some guypavi side making up with white gifts, with 114 00:08:05.439 --> 00:08:09.759 horizontal stripes, since there' s no one working on that shit. I 115 00:08:09.839 --> 00:08:13.040 ' m cool. You have products that are more cool than ours. Guys. 116 00:08:13.360 --> 00:08:15.839 We' ve got some cool guys, but they' re not as 117 00:08:15.839 --> 00:08:16.279 cool as yours. There' s one that really catches my attention. Well, 118 00:08:16.439 --> 00:08:18.240 I' ll be longer. I' m going to ask directly. 119 00:08:18.480 --> 00:08:22.199 Some woman here, some woman present, has anti- rapist spri in her 120 00:08:22.279 --> 00:08:26.759 purse. No, it' s not to keep your face and then I 121 00:08:26.920 --> 00:08:31.040 don' t know how to cross it out. No. No, no, 122 00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:33.799 no, none. It' s something we comedians do. We hear 123 00:08:33.799 --> 00:08:35.600 about a subject, we turn it around and give it our point of view. 124 00:08:35.679 --> 00:08:39.080 No, and don' t think that if a woman has anti- 125 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:43.840 rapist priya in her purse, that says a lot about her. You' 126 00:08:43.919 --> 00:08:46.000 ll clearly say she' s cautious. I say it' s pretentious. 127 00:08:52.639 --> 00:08:54.679 I mean, I mean. How good you have to believe that you are, 128 00:08:56.120 --> 00:09:01.639 how believed you have to be to be on a Saturday changing you in 129 00:09:01.639 --> 00:09:03.919 the mirror before you go out and saying uy, oy look, oy que 130 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:07.600 pechitos. I still have a good look at the fa uy the east coming 131 00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:11.879 and the legs of the spinning how my shoes are stuck today is that smoke 132 00:09:11.919 --> 00:09:18.879 this ay I need an anti rapist spl because because yes, no, no, 133 00:09:18.120 --> 00:09:22.840 no, no, no, I don' t want with descent told 134 00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:26.879 me because if you' re ugly, you don' t have anti rapist 135 00:09:26.879 --> 00:09:33.159 sprey in your purse, because we all agree that the seers are criminals and 136 00:09:33.240 --> 00:09:35.919 psychopaths, but they' re guys and a guy is not going to throw 137 00:09:35.960 --> 00:09:39.120 twenty years in jail getting beat up and with his ass like that for having 138 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:45.799 fucked each other and palm. Okay. There is also the truth that also 139 00:09:45.840 --> 00:09:54.399 exists of spriyantti blador for men is called brummel is. As I don' 140 00:09:54.399 --> 00:09:56.080 t tell you, science is cool. No, it' s not cool 141 00:09:56.080 --> 00:10:01.000 with science. They found out a Spry I threw at you. If they 142 00:10:01.080 --> 00:10:05.960 take away the desire of or, the desire of everything, we could not 143 00:10:05.960 --> 00:10:09.200 ask them one more step and invent a spry to throw it out and you 144 00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:11.919 will enter the desire of o. You' re telling me not to. 145 00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:16.919 How they' d change leisure nights, uh, guys, aunts, how 146 00:10:16.919 --> 00:10:20.559 they' d change Anda, what you' re gonna be here watching monologites. 147 00:10:20.720 --> 00:10:22.200 How is it that how cool you look, for example, you what 148 00:10:22.200 --> 00:10:28.159 your name is, Beatriz, is your boyfriend, no, uh, because 149 00:10:28.159 --> 00:10:31.559 you' re trying. Don' t imagine, Beatriz, that this nice 150 00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:35.440 boy is your boyfriend. And I, after acting out drunk, lost as 151 00:10:35.480 --> 00:10:37.919 most comedians end up, after recording in paramont commediy when I walk out the 152 00:10:37.960 --> 00:10:41.279 door, I approach you without any respect as a woman or by your partner 153 00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:52.960 ahead, Beatriz, I approach and I say amasa atrebtree. We' re 154 00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:58.159 going to Beatrice right now, right now, we' re not going to 155 00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:09.120 you and I' m going down there and I' m going to throw 156 00:11:09.159 --> 00:11:09.480 my parents out and I' m going to be all night practicing brains on 157 00:11:09.480 --> 00:11:13.720 anyone. I' m going to do Beatriz the question and in front of 158 00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:16.000 your boyfriend, it would be very simple, you, you would tell me 159 00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:24.720 that or not. Don' t wait for you in the car See how 160 00:11:24.720 --> 00:11:33.639 the nights would change See how they would change. I' m cool, 161 00:11:35.559 --> 00:11:41.000 I' m cool, I' m telling you, I' d like 162 00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:43.519 to be a woman, a woman, a single woman, no children, 163 00:11:43.519 --> 00:11:46.720 because I hate children. Okay, let' s be clear now and what 164 00:11:46.759 --> 00:11:48.279 I hate most of you, you' re these guys who go around so 165 00:11:50.480 --> 00:11:54.080 quiet saying like I love nothing kids two fucks I used to give you I 166 00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:58.600 love kids these people what if kids are shit people. No. No, 167 00:12:00.159 --> 00:12:01.679 no, but sometimes I' m saying I make us meet a kid. 168 00:12:03.000 --> 00:12:07.000 You can' t talk to him about anything in an argument. His arguments 169 00:12:07.039 --> 00:12:11.279 are not supported anywhere. They can go all day with shit. Stick your 170 00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:13.480 ass with the same face. What kind of people that fuck. I have 171 00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:18.799 friends so I don' t talk to them pussy that if I didn' 172 00:12:18.919 --> 00:12:22.600 t ex if there was hell, For me hell would be a huge pool 173 00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:31.320 of balls, with twenty thousand kids screaming and wheezing while supernani mesodomizes and a 174 00:12:31.320 --> 00:12:35.360 magician entertains them making colorful balloons, while the magician drops a tear thinking it 175 00:12:35.399 --> 00:12:37.559 ' s doing that shit like he has to pay his mortgage. And I 176 00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:41.159 hate them, especially because they remind me of the species shit that we humans 177 00:12:41.240 --> 00:12:43.399 are, which I don' t know how we' ve come to dominate 178 00:12:43.440 --> 00:12:45.240 the rest of the species on the planet. I' m telling you, 179 00:12:45.360 --> 00:12:48.600 I have no idea, because grown- ups have stuff, but babies are 180 00:12:48.600 --> 00:12:50.600 the worst shit in the world. Or I say it, not to see 181 00:12:50.639 --> 00:12:52.360 if I say something strange, to see if I have seen any documental of 182 00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:54.879 the two or national gographi and I have seen it yes, that goes out 183 00:12:54.879 --> 00:12:58.519 there, in the middle of African savannah, a fucking nu standing there with 184 00:12:58.559 --> 00:13:01.080 fifty degrees in the shade, I say to you a cool animal, an 185 00:13:01.159 --> 00:13:03.399 elephant and a lion. No. No, no, no, no, 186 00:13:03.480 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 187 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 188 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 189 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 190 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 191 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 192 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 193 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 194 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 195 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 196 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 197 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:03.759 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 198 00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:05.279 no, no, no, no. He' s like the animal councilman. 199 00:13:05.759 --> 00:13:09.559 Is the baby giving birth there, the baby giving birth? In time 200 00:13:09.799 --> 00:13:13.279 the baby giving birth? And the second, second of birth, uh, 201 00:13:13.480 --> 00:13:16.519 the baby' s already on his feet, ready to fend for himself a 202 00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:18.919 fucking child up to the age of seven. You' ve got to hide 203 00:13:20.120 --> 00:13:22.320 the bleach from him because Asshole goes to babies. No, no, no, 204 00:13:22.759 --> 00:13:24.720 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 205 00:13:26.120 --> 00:13:28.399 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 206 00:13:28.559 --> 00:13:31.440 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 207 00:13:31.639 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 208 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 209 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 210 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 211 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 212 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 213 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 214 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 215 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 216 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 217 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 218 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 219 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 220 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 221 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 222 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 223 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 224 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 225 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 226 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 227 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 228 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 229 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 230 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 231 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 232 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 233 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 234 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 235 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 236 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.240 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 237 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:35.159 no, no, no, no, no, That' s what we 238 00:13:35.799 --> 00:13:48.200 ' re talking about, like, a good nail and a gypsy baby, 239 00:13:48.200 --> 00:13:52.240 the others, the others. Okay. There' s some gypsy oy ay 240 00:13:52.240 --> 00:14:03.399 in Joe. There' s no racist today in joy No one' s 241 00:14:03.480 --> 00:14:05.679 normal They' re usually very shy. They don' t raise their hands. 242 00:14:07.279 --> 00:14:11.200 You don' t think racism is one of the most hateful feelings a 243 00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:16.279 human being can have to hate another person or to be born on the other 244 00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:18.320 side of a line or by another skin color. I couldn' t hate 245 00:14:18.399 --> 00:14:22.200 anyone like that. I couldn' t tell someone something because of the pinna 246 00:14:22.279 --> 00:14:24.000 color. I couldn' t tell a nigger I hate him for his skin 247 00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:28.759 color. I would find it fatal, especially because these people know that they 248 00:14:28.799 --> 00:14:35.360 are superior to us and I could kill myself then if I would allow myself 249 00:14:37.159 --> 00:14:41.759 to hate the gypsies, Yes, because I respect racism when it is out 250 00:14:41.320 --> 00:14:45.879 of envy towards another race, because they are superior to you, because I 251 00:14:45.919 --> 00:14:46.799 would choose the gypsies to hate because they are superior to us. They have 252 00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:50.399 a lot of power, that is to say, the civil guard will stop 253 00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:54.879 you, and the civil guard will be more afraid than you. Is that 254 00:14:56.000 --> 00:15:00.080 power? That' s why you have to stick to visiting hours and they 255 00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:07.000 can mount a flamenco tablao in the waiting room. Is that power? But 256 00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:13.799 speaking of power, there you are You have one of the most powerful weapons 257 00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:16.519 in history, one of the most powerful weapons mankind has ever created, which 258 00:15:16.519 --> 00:15:24.279 is none other than the vagina. Yeah, like you don' t imagine 259 00:15:24.360 --> 00:15:28.679 a very powerful weapon, very powerful, that' s the day you really 260 00:15:28.759 --> 00:15:31.240 set out to use your vagina to dominate the world. I' m laughing 261 00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:35.360 at vagina destruction weapons. I say more, if it goes, no, 262 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:41.399 no, it' s not that it' s a perfect weapon, so 263 00:15:41.559 --> 00:15:46.759 destructive, so beautiful as well but so destructive. No government will ever be 264 00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:54.559 able to design a weapon with that capacity to create life and fuck it up 265 00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:58.559 at the same time, I would really love to also see it as superior. 266 00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:02.399 I would say a country just because it has more vaginas than mine. 267 00:16:04.039 --> 00:16:07.559 Yes, you have a very powerful weapon and I don' t want feminist 268 00:16:07.559 --> 00:16:08.360 bastards. Okay. I don' t think feminist bastards in other things, 269 00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:11.759 because feminism was invented by men to convince you that everything had to be achieved 270 00:16:11.759 --> 00:16:18.799 through work, intelligence and sacrifice, when we used force throughout history. Take 271 00:16:18.799 --> 00:16:21.039 a look at the guy you have next door right now, all the girls 272 00:16:21.039 --> 00:16:22.639 of it and take a look at the guy you have next door? Please, 273 00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:26.080 look at him, look at him, please, you know him or 274 00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:32.559 not, look at him, imagine the naked right now, yes, do 275 00:16:32.600 --> 00:16:36.600 it, and keep looking at him imagine the naked, start thinking how, 276 00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:38.759 if it wasn' t with force, how we convinced you to be the 277 00:16:38.759 --> 00:16:41.399 ones you are. You' ll have to wax and make- up. 278 00:16:42.559 --> 00:16:48.600 That only allowed one man by force. You have a guerrilla down there Bua, 279 00:16:48.799 --> 00:16:55.559 you have a cheguevara Well, if you do the laser, you have 280 00:16:55.559 --> 00:17:00.000 a very angry Buddha. If Rambo had Gina, they had only recorded the 281 00:17:00.039 --> 00:17:07.960 first one. I tell you, I don' t believe in heaven or 282 00:17:07.960 --> 00:17:12.440 hell. But if there was a sky, for me, the gates of 283 00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:22.599 heaven would be like a huge vagina with two giant snooze lips at the door, 284 00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:27.000 that would open up just so that you could get in while each and 285 00:17:27.000 --> 00:17:33.359 every part of your body is rubbed on you and you' ll end up 286 00:17:33.400 --> 00:17:40.559 dangling with some sort of heavenly flow smelling of wet dirt and that once you 287 00:17:40.559 --> 00:17:45.559 ' re inside your quilted ground, you' ll only feel an orgasm every 288 00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:51.640 time you step in and that paradise of pleasure just get to the summun the 289 00:17:51.640 --> 00:17:56.200 time you raise your head and say fuck. If there' s a southern 290 00:17:52.960 --> 00:18:07.519 ja here too. That' s apart. There' s something I can 291 00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:08.920 ' t do. The southern one that I told you is because we are 292 00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:14.440 in crisis, but above all the recognized one has personal crisis. I' 293 00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:18.240 m a shit person, especially because I' ve invented one thing now to 294 00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:22.799 help others, which is that when someone needs help to the best in a 295 00:18:22.839 --> 00:18:32.119 very distant country, I' ve thought of going rounding up plugs that you 296 00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:36.000 say fuck and it' s fucked because you say okay I' m helping 297 00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:37.920 him, but it' s with my garbage you know it' s an 298 00:18:37.960 --> 00:18:42.839 idea that I' ve thought of pretty fucked up, because it' s 299 00:18:42.839 --> 00:18:42.839 my crap that you say oysters is that you don' t know how, 300 00:18:42.839 --> 00:18:47.720 how to feel. You' re not roaring trash to help someone else they 301 00:18:47.799 --> 00:18:49.000 call you good, it' s that to help this kid you have to 302 00:18:49.000 --> 00:18:53.759 give him your iPhone. You say listen to the Nokia that I have in 303 00:18:53.799 --> 00:19:00.799 my drawer, they can give him a wheelchair and I' m cool because 304 00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:03.559 because you' ve heard that about the plugs that I' ve put in 305 00:19:03.559 --> 00:19:06.440 fashion I love because now I don' t have to feel good about my 306 00:19:06.440 --> 00:19:10.279 conscience anymore, I don' t have to pay doctors without borders or Greenpeace 307 00:19:10.279 --> 00:19:12.319 to feel good. I just have to go on a boat and be very 308 00:19:12.359 --> 00:19:18.279 attentive when it' s over, you know you say good. I' 309 00:19:18.279 --> 00:19:21.720 m helping, but of course I feel regular is contradictory. I' m 310 00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:26.480 helping out with my crap you don' t know and feeling bad I don 311 00:19:26.480 --> 00:19:29.799 ' t know how you kill a dolphin to kiss you say. You don 312 00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:32.559 ' t know how to fucking feel about this. And the good news is, 313 00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:37.720 if there' s anyone worse than me, it' s that mad 314 00:19:37.839 --> 00:19:41.680 doctor who doesn' t know which western country, in his madness and abundance 315 00:19:42.200 --> 00:19:45.279 of money, came one day who said no to operate on this kid. 316 00:19:45.319 --> 00:19:53.519 I don' t want money. My fucking mad metapons will be worth a 317 00:19:53.559 --> 00:20:00.880 hundred thousand just plugs He' ll be able to operate the child for less 318 00:20:00.440 --> 00:20:04.400 He' ll count them there in the Kirophane ninety- nine thousand nine hundred 319 00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:07.160 ninety- eight nine thousand nine hundred doctor. You' ve already lost me, 320 00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:21.720 one, two, three, four. I don' t love who 321 00:20:21.720 --> 00:20:25.200 gathers around here. You get a meeting, you put some to help none 322 00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:30.200 of you are supportive of yourself, yes, you are, but how, 323 00:20:30.599 --> 00:20:33.799 how I also worth it, but to see how our commitment to solidarity and 324 00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:37.960 to this child is. You, when you buy the supermarket bottle, you 325 00:20:37.079 --> 00:20:41.480 spend it first and then you give the cap, how I do yes, 326 00:20:41.799 --> 00:20:45.160 not sure, that' s our level of commitment. Oh, yeah. 327 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.279 If we were really engaged to that kid, just buy the bottle, that 328 00:20:48.279 --> 00:20:52.519 is, before we even left the supermarket, we would have already removed it 329 00:20:52.599 --> 00:20:55.640 and donated it. But what the hell that kid' s operation can wait 330 00:20:55.680 --> 00:20:57.759 for,' cause you and I want to drink the coke tail with gas 331 00:20:57.759 --> 00:21:07.680 to do that. So, before we finish, he left again one of 332 00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:11.839 the reflections that my family has governed us for all our lives and that is 333 00:21:12.279 --> 00:21:18.519 to laugh at the problems however dramatic and stupid they are of anything. For 334 00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:21.519 example, we will always have the bright side to everything to see. I 335 00:21:21.559 --> 00:21:25.559 have a cousin who was born with crystal bone disease. You know what it 336 00:21:25.559 --> 00:21:30.240 is. Yeah, well, we prefer to think that my Aunt God has 337 00:21:30.279 --> 00:21:38.960 given a child from Sbaroski and don' t impose that face on me because 338 00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:44.319 your fucking fault is the house full of plugs. It' s been a 339 00:21:44.319 --> 00:22:02.480 pleasure being here. Thank you so much. Thank you.