Chester Field. Chester Field are firstly God minder mile tobacco, never living after
taste, so open up pack, give him a smell, then you're smoking.
Chesterfield Presents The Bob Hope Show, transcribed direct from Carswell Air Force based
fort Worth, Texas, with Less Brown of his band of renowned for Chesterfield
Yours truly high Araback, Jimmy Wakeley and Jerry Coloonne Marilyn Maxwell. And here
he is the man who's at home in the oil country because he's a natural
gusher. Bob Hope, my show. Thank you, very thank you.
Well. Here I am in Texas. Yes, they're good old Texas.
That's claustrophobia spelled backwards. But I really like this state. Of all the
forty eight states, Texas is my favorite three. And I got a nice
reception when I arrived today. A bunch of bombardiers came up and said,
welcome to cars Well, mister Hope. We're always glad to meet a fellow
egg dropper. And when I got off the plane, Major Finley Ross stepped
up and slapped me in the back. He can't reach very high, Kenny,
but I appreciated the thought. Anyway, I want to tell you.
These Texans are really patriotic. They shot one guy when he didn't stand up
for the national anthem. Poor guy. I didn't know the words or deep
in the heart of Texas, and I love that Texas draw. A big
Texas guy tried to see him my date last night, and I said,
that's my gal. Shown up and I want you to show enough, leave
her alone. Shown up and he showed me his muscles, and I showed
him my muscle. I guess I didn't show enough. But what a place
this car as well. Now. I was amazed at the youth of some
of the boys here. They're so young. One of them broke his jaw
the other day. He saluted while he was still sucking his thumb. They're
so young. I saw one fellow wearing a three cornered parachute. I went
for a plane ride today, but it's the first one I ever took while
tied to the propeller and was one fellow in selling. When I asked him
how you opened a parachute, he said, very simple, just count ten,
jerk. I went up in one of those B thirty six's. They
really fly high, but I assisted. I wasn't scared then they pointed out
that my side of the plane was giving off yellow vapor clouds. Gosh,
was I nervous? I said to the pile, do you mind if I
bite my nails? He said no, go right ahead, anything to make
you stop biting mine. But I enjoyed the ride and want a chair went
up when I stepped out of the plane. I want to if they had
a cheer so hard, if I'd have waited until the plane landed. Now,
let's sell Chesterfields every week, the whole bunch of us being and godfree
and como and I. We asked you to smoke Chesterfields, and we give
you these good reasons. Chesterfields are milder, and they leave no unpleasant after
taste. Here's how to prove that. First, make our mildness tests.
Buy a pack of chester Fields, open them, enjoy that mild mellow aroma.
Compare it, and you'll find Chesterfields are milder. Right, And as
tobacco growers have been saying for years, tobacos that smell milder, smoke milder.
So light up a Chesterfield and you'll see how true that is. Chesterfields
do smoke milder. And with that milder smoke, you get no unpleasant aftertaste.
That fact has been confirmed by the country's first and only cigarette taste,
Prammel. So you know why we say smoke Chesterfield. It's the mild one.
It's the only cigarette that combines for you mildness with no unpleasant after taste.
Always buy Chesterfields. You'll agree it's the best cigarette you ever smoked.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce a swell gal who
traveled with our troop recently through the Orient and the Illusion and did a great
job to help entertain over there. Here. She is Marilyn Maxwell. Thank
you, fellas, and thank you Bob. But how about this audience,
Maryland? Aren't they great? Oh? They sure are. I never saw
so many handsome young men. Yeah, Bob, Bob, tell me something.
How is it that you never joined the Air Force? Well? I
thought about it, Maryland, but I blacked up in the air No when
I thought about it. But you may see me in an Air Force uniform
pretty soon, Maryland. Paramount's gonna make a flying picture and I'm up for
the lead. Is it a dramatic part, Oh, it's very dramatic.
It's a story of a mean guy who hates everybody in his outfit, and
he spends a month on a day there's an island with Jane Russell, and
he changes. He changes. Yeah, he finds out how much he misses
his buddies. It's sort of a fantasy. Well, have you been signed
for the picture? No? Not Chet, Maryland. That's one of the
reasons I'm here at cars Well. I want to find out everything I can
about the Air Force, and then I'll be all set if the studio will
let me play a serious role. Hey, here's someone who can help you.
Bob. One of the enlisted men here at Carswell Airbase, Sergeant Eveson
of the four nine two bomb Squadron. Yes, sir, Hey, that's
Well Maryland. Step right in here, sergeant. Thank you, mister Hoope.
You can call me Bob. You outrank me. You know what are
you doing here? Sergeant? Are you one of the B thirty six boys?
That's right through. I'm a tail gunner and I wanted to talk to
you because I have a peculiar problem and I think you can help me out.
I'm a gunner, not a plastic surgeon. Please, I'll do the
jokes. You just take care of yourself. You just take care of your
slide rule and compass, will you. My problem, sergeant, is to
get some Air Force background for a picture I'm making. What are you doing
the picture, Bibe, Well, I'm a colonel who falls into the scrace
and loses his commission, then goes to China and fights with the flying targets
and regains his commission. Then I get into a brawl in Shanghai with the
Admiral of the British Fleet, so I hopped him a roc and put down
a rebellion in the foreign legion. Some spies put me on a coffee boat
bound for Brazil, and I swim ashore and get rescued by a tribe of
Azulu just in time to talk to him out of slaughtering the sellers in the
Belgian Congo. After that the action began. Sounds like an interesting picture.
By yeah, I tell you more about it, but I don't want to
ruin the plot for you, Sergeant. What I really want to know is
how you guys act when you're in the air. Suppose you're in a big
thunderstorm with a lot of lightning and the wind tossed on the plane around.
Do you smoke, pace up and down? Or what? Oh? I
played cards, looking magazine or manicure my fingernails. That's all. Sometimes I
just fall asleep. Yeah, but how Jack before your nerves went the pieces?
You don't mind answering these questions, do you? Sergeant might producer to
paramount A gonna phone me after the show. So naturally I want to find
out everything I can. Well, I have to leave to go back on
duty, Bob. What else did you want to know? Well, there's
a couple of love scenes in the pictures. Suppose Marilyn Max where with your
girlfriend? Can you tell me how you'd kiss her? I can show you
better, Bob. And I thought that gleaming his eye was stage fright,
Marylynd. The sergeant wants to show me some air Force procedure, okay with
you? Well I'd be delighted, sergeant. Well, first, Bob,
we take him in our arms like is, then we hold him close like
this, and then there he's officially in the Air Force. Come on this
micro alog. Thank you, sergeant, and I hope you find your way
back to your landing field. Gee, he's quite a man, Bob.
Yeah, I get kissed like that too. If I smeared my lips with
tequila. Anyway, Marylyn I found out. Oh, excuse me, excuse
me, that must be Paramount calling hello. Yeah, put him on.
Hello, miss Freeman, why you've been listening and you're gonna start the trying
picture right away. Oh that's swell, mister Freeman. When do I report
to work? Oh? Oh, I see, well, goodbye. Well
when do you report to work? Bob? I don't they're giving the part
to Sergeant Eberson. Oh they golly, Bob Hope. Is that your personality?
Or do you have a cold button somewhere? Is there something I can
do for you? Well? You don't know me, miss Hope, but
I'm Bubble's Gill again. President of the Barble fans. Lover thought was,
oh, that's swell. Oh, we're just double Ginger, double peaches,
super duper crazy about you. Well, I wouldn't go too far. We
meaning us girls, took the food, and we all agreed that we'd even
be willing to eat every bit of our finach if we could find you down
at the bottom of the dish. Well. It's a nice thought, but
a little messy. Anyway, here's a president. I want to thank you
on behalf of the other girls and myself. We alter turns knitting on it.
We put the initial sea in the middle because you always chested. Feel
here all this is wonderful, Just what I needed, a knitted ash tree.
Thank you very much. Oh that's all right, it's a hoop.
And we'd like you to know that we've decided you were the most handsome,
clever and schulman u man. We can't decide about that, you know,
mister Hope. The girls in my club think you're just amazing. We also
made up a poem about you, mister Hope. Poem uh huh, and
I was appointed to come over here and read it too. Well. Go
write a habit from the girl's fans of of Fort Worth to that peachy fella
here on earth. Isn't that sweet? We Texas girls would like to sing,
we are glad you traveled down all ways in the cattle country. We
think you're king. You're the biggest lung home we've ever seen. And our
friends let me present the only nos in captivity that can test the mildness of
a whole case of Chesterfields in one fell Smith. I choose to interpret that
as a compliment. High and Now, if that's the last of Crosby's old
gags, you're going to steal them. Now, let's get out with the
sales pitch folks better tasting. Chesterfield is the only cigarette that combines for you
mildness with no unpleasant after taste. It sure is, and you can prove
it real easy. Just make the Chesterfield mildness test and you'll see. Get
yourself a back of Chesterfields, open it and enjoy that mild, mellow aroma.
Compare it with your old brand and you'll see Chesterfields are milder. Now,
as any tobacco farmer will tell you, tobaccos that smell milder smoke milder
smoke Chesterfields, and you see what I mean. Another thing, that milder
smoking Chesterfield will leave no unpleasant aftertaste. That fact was confirmed by the country's
first and only cigarette taste panel. Yep, there's an old saying in the
Southwest, if you can't whip a man, join him, and you can
apply that to Chesterfield. For some strange reason, they call me texts from
all Signs. I should have grown up to be a typical Sun of Texas,
but somehow I wasn't like all the other cowboys. I couldn't ride,
I couldn't rope. Shucks, I didn't even know what year Amon Carter discovered
American. I guess the situation was getting hi mighty serious, because one day
my daddy sent for me. He looked at me with those loving eyes that
seemed to tell me he understood my problem and would always help me and be
gentle. And then he said, sit down, you major pool cat.
Did you send for me, daddy? Yes? I did. Son?
Tell me how long you been my son? Now? Ever since the day
I was born twenty five years ago? Something, Son, your mother played
a dirty trick on both of us. Son, I don't mind telling you.
I'm mighty disappointed in the way you turned out. But I'm trying to
be a good text and I'm trying off the hard to be a cowboy.
Why can you say that? Why you don't even smell like a cowboy.
How many times did you bathe this year with water? Yes? Twice,
just as I thought, a dude, nor Son, you just ain't going
about it, riot. How long had you been on a horse? Wait
a minute, been on a horse? Ain't the horse supposed to get on
you? No? Either, you get on the ball and become a riding
rope and shooting drinking two fists hexan or I'll give you the voice punishment a
cowboy can get. What's that? I'll take away your hop along Cassidy suit.
You know that little talk with my daddy made me mighty sad. Yes,
sir, my heart was heavier than Glenn McCarthy's money belt. I needed
a bit of encouragement, so I mosied over to my girl's house. My
girl, Mary Jane. She's a pretty little thing, lush, the red
lips, blue eyes, and she wore her yellow hair in a bun on
the top of her head. I didn't mind that, but there was a
hot dog in it. I've been kind of shining backwards. Matter of fact,
last night was the first time I got up enough nerve to kiss her.
Yes, Sir, I finally took the bull by the horns. Tomorrow
night, I'm gonna kiss tomorrow night. I'm gonna kiss Mary Jane instead of
the bull. She was waiting for me when I got to her house.
How'll detech? How the honey? Tell me? Mary Jane? What have
you been doing today? Well? I got up at four this morning,
milk three herd of cattle, plowed the north forty, repaired two miles of
fence, painted the barn, shingle the roof, dug a well, and
chopped six months topply of firewood. And then I had some lunch. That's
a woman for you, always thinking about food. Well, what did you
do today? Well, you don't. I n't very handy around the ranch
and tried to milk a cow. What do you mean? Well? I
was milking for half an hour and then I discovered I was shaking hands with
myself. Well why didn't you stop? I did after I got two quarts?
Oh, text, why can't you be a real cowboy? Like Tumbleweed?
Wakely? Wakely? Is he still hanging around you? Didn't you tell
me you might marry me? Well this would be kind of nice. I
got a hankering to get hitched. Maybe someday that'd be a little you and
a little me, just what I've always wanted. Midgets, what do you
say, Mary Jane Ron Starry text next to Tumbleweed weakly, you're nothing but
a tenderfoot. A tenderfoot. Yeah, why don't you practice being a cowboy?
Get on your horse and ride for a couple of days. No thanks,
I'd rather have just my feet tender. Now look Mary Jane Auty of
Mary Jane Tumbleweed, come here, my little doggie and hit you chuck wagon
to my heart. Let me correll you in my arms, and let's clever
some love by the light of the purple sage. How about this guy brushes
his teeth with saddle soap, close as he's never been to a horse when
he made a picture of Sydney Green Street. Well look who's here? Text,
Hope, the poop head of the pakers. One more crack out of
you and I'll use your head to play a royal cuff record. Now listen,
hush up. Text. Tomba Weed brought his guitar along the serenade.
Men, you got that old geek with him again. You're just messing everything
up. Go ahead, tomba Weed, all right. I wanna drink my
coffee from an old tin can while the moon goes shine and hide. I
want to hear the call of the whipper. Will I wanna hear the corch
cries. I wanna feel the saddle of my old cow horse riding him out
on the range, just to kick him in the side. Watch him shore
a step and pro out on the Texas play Oh Tumbleweed, that was mighty
pretty. Sounded like Gabby Hayes with his beard on fire her day. And
this is your idea of a Texan huh? Why more Texas than he'll ever
be. Don't get tough with me, son, or I'll wrap my guitar
right around your nick. You do an as'll you what? I'll twang all
over you. Well, that's settled to Texas. Get out of here and
don't come back and tell you as much a texis as tumbleweed. And furthermore,
I'll never hitch up with you unless you learn to sing pretty like he
does. All right, I'm gonna get me some singing lessons right now,
and then I'm coming back for you. That's for sure. That's for dang
shawyah. This here looks like the singing teachers office. I'll go right in,
said, gonna come a minute. Hey, what are you doing singing
into that envelope? Singing out of singing lesson by mail now Colora? Yes,
if he's not Professor Colonna Voice coach, singing instructor, student of the
Fine arts, some heada call salesman. Well, I want to take some
of them there singing lessons so I can be a real text and and win
my girl's hand. Alrighty, now first, alrighty, what part of Texas
is that? Alright, let's move, They're coming to Ward. Just let's
go. All right, christ Christ I want to tell you, but I'm
not one of these pony ski teachers who will breed you for money. I'll
only chide you fifty cents an hour. Well that's reasonable, yes, And
I think I can teach you to sing in only two thousand, seven hundred
and fifty hours. I'll wait a minute. That's over one thousand dollars.
Will it cost that much to teach me to sing? All? Will cost
me that much to get to Florida? And my piano player's wife is waiting
for me. What about your wife? She's in Mexico with my piano player.
Coloda, you're a complete idiot. I know why be half saved.
You know I got a sneaky feeling. You don't know anything about music at
all. I don't. I'll have you know. I can play every musical
instrument there is and all at the same time. Well, how is that
possible? Big mouth? Seventeen Union times. Well, what about giving me
a lesson? Alrighty now first time, mister. Now, pump in your
mouth and stake out your trump all right, father, father, father,
a little father, I can't you're stepping on it. Oh, come now,
just a little bit, father, father. What do you know slipped
off the roller? Yeah, man, young man, I tell you what
you do. Take this singing instruction book with you and study it. After
you're finished, you'll be a fine singer. Oh thank you, professor.
I've got to go now. I'm working with another student in the next room,
and I've got to sing a song. Excuse me. He happens every
time I sing Orange Colored Sky? Still on, Professor, so on?
I sure hope Mary Jane is home. I read this here singing book from
front to back, and she's gotta marry me. Now. Who is it?
It's text, honey, and I'm a real textan. Now I learned
me how to sing. Well, it's too late, now, text.
I found it. Somebody that can sing better than you can. Wake me
put together? Who is it? I was walking an arm mine, but
oh no, hey, Maryland, what is it? Bob? You know
the show is going to be over a little while I've been wondering if you
and I could get together we sort of take a little walk. Huh.
Well, of course, Bob. Oh, you're such a delightful child.
You're just a type i'd like for my sister, and you're just a type
i'd like for my mother. Look, Max, I'm trying to tell you
I'm not as old as you think I am. Fact, I'm practically just
a kid. They won't let me buy a copy of re STCAUI unless I
bring an note from my mother. Oh now, really, Bob, don't
you think it's time you started acting your age? Acting my age? I'm
not calling Grandma Moses for a day yet. And just remember, none of
us are saying from old father time. What do you mean? Listen to
me. Someday you figure will start to spread your fall and I just will
drop like leads. You find your beautiful smile has fled. No hair,
notpy, your shiny hair. Don't let the wrinkles upset you. I'll still
be happy. I'll met you done it, baby love. Some day you're
gonna lose your psy I'll see the doctor in twice a week. My chek
suddenly go and geek, you be so death that I'll have to shriek.
So you're physical recting up to be happy, to nective. Garn it,
baby, that's long. That love. That's love. We might as wealthy,
sensible. That's love. That's love to me. You're indispensible despite the
fact that some day you're gonna look really beat. Oh me is all the
fell let you eat boy, scouts will help you across the street. Too
old to even be in the screen, so you be too weak to court
me. I'm still gonna let you support me. You will always be my
turtle Jo. I mean for you and you for me. Collecting socials,
guy, go start it, baby, I have an idea. What listen
to me, child? Just imagine I'm a kid of seventy. Someone's been
shaking your amal tea. I started, baby, all tang for the memory
of the Air Force personnel at this air base called Carswell. To every guy
who rides the sky in a thirty six, so well, we thank you
so much, ladies and gentlemen. Our thanks to the men of Carswell Airbase.
And believe me, we can thank all men like these. The Korea
didn't bring us something worse than a national emergency. I mean a national catastrophe.
Yes, sir, While our Gi in the ground was making the heroic
withdrawal from the port of hung Nam, our Gi in the sky, like
the little Dutch boy who held his hand in the dyke, teamed up with
Navies, big guns and held back the Red Tide operations. Hung Nam wrote
a great page in the book of American history and gave us our greatest New
Year's resolution to preserve that old American custom liberty. Liberty is a wonderful thing,
pays two for one. You get out of it twice what you put
into it. And mister, if we put in half as much as these
men at the United States Air Force, all the communists in the Kremlin couldn't
even put a debt in our New Year's resolution. Thank you, and good
night Shore. Listen for next week's bar Pope Show with our special guest Jane
Russell. Correct for Camp Pendleton. The Field has brought you to bar Pope
Show from Parsma Air Base, Port Worth, Texas, Glasgow. This is
NBC, the National Broadcasting Company