1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:06,879 Chester Field. Chester Field are firstly God minder mile tobacco, never living after 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:11,519 taste, so open up pack, give him a smell, then you're smoking. 3 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:26,440 Chesterfield Presents The Bob Hope Show, transcribed direct from Carswell Air Force based 4 00:00:26,519 --> 00:00:30,600 fort Worth, Texas, with Less Brown of his band of renowned for Chesterfield 5 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:37,119 Yours truly high Araback, Jimmy Wakeley and Jerry Coloonne Marilyn Maxwell. And here 6 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:40,399 he is the man who's at home in the oil country because he's a natural 7 00:00:40,439 --> 00:01:00,799 gusher. Bob Hope, my show. Thank you, very thank you. 8 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,079 Well. Here I am in Texas. Yes, they're good old Texas. 9 00:01:03,079 --> 00:01:11,480 That's claustrophobia spelled backwards. But I really like this state. Of all the 10 00:01:11,519 --> 00:01:18,879 forty eight states, Texas is my favorite three. And I got a nice 11 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,799 reception when I arrived today. A bunch of bombardiers came up and said, 12 00:01:21,799 --> 00:01:23,599 welcome to cars Well, mister Hope. We're always glad to meet a fellow 13 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:33,040 egg dropper. And when I got off the plane, Major Finley Ross stepped 14 00:01:33,079 --> 00:01:36,239 up and slapped me in the back. He can't reach very high, Kenny, 15 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,319 but I appreciated the thought. Anyway, I want to tell you. 16 00:01:46,359 --> 00:01:49,200 These Texans are really patriotic. They shot one guy when he didn't stand up 17 00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:53,439 for the national anthem. Poor guy. I didn't know the words or deep 18 00:01:53,480 --> 00:02:00,799 in the heart of Texas, and I love that Texas draw. A big 19 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:02,040 Texas guy tried to see him my date last night, and I said, 20 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,079 that's my gal. Shown up and I want you to show enough, leave 21 00:02:05,079 --> 00:02:07,240 her alone. Shown up and he showed me his muscles, and I showed 22 00:02:07,319 --> 00:02:15,759 him my muscle. I guess I didn't show enough. But what a place 23 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,360 this car as well. Now. I was amazed at the youth of some 24 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:22,199 of the boys here. They're so young. One of them broke his jaw 25 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:35,159 the other day. He saluted while he was still sucking his thumb. They're 26 00:02:35,199 --> 00:02:43,879 so young. I saw one fellow wearing a three cornered parachute. I went 27 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:46,000 for a plane ride today, but it's the first one I ever took while 28 00:02:46,039 --> 00:02:53,520 tied to the propeller and was one fellow in selling. When I asked him 29 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,879 how you opened a parachute, he said, very simple, just count ten, 30 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:05,520 jerk. I went up in one of those B thirty six's. They 31 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,840 really fly high, but I assisted. I wasn't scared then they pointed out 32 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:22,960 that my side of the plane was giving off yellow vapor clouds. Gosh, 33 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:23,879 was I nervous? I said to the pile, do you mind if I 34 00:03:23,879 --> 00:03:27,120 bite my nails? He said no, go right ahead, anything to make 35 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:35,319 you stop biting mine. But I enjoyed the ride and want a chair went 36 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,680 up when I stepped out of the plane. I want to if they had 37 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:54,120 a cheer so hard, if I'd have waited until the plane landed. Now, 38 00:03:54,199 --> 00:03:58,400 let's sell Chesterfields every week, the whole bunch of us being and godfree 39 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,639 and como and I. We asked you to smoke Chesterfields, and we give 40 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:04,639 you these good reasons. Chesterfields are milder, and they leave no unpleasant after 41 00:04:04,719 --> 00:04:09,479 taste. Here's how to prove that. First, make our mildness tests. 42 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:13,960 Buy a pack of chester Fields, open them, enjoy that mild mellow aroma. 43 00:04:14,039 --> 00:04:17,199 Compare it, and you'll find Chesterfields are milder. Right, And as 44 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,839 tobacco growers have been saying for years, tobacos that smell milder, smoke milder. 45 00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:25,720 So light up a Chesterfield and you'll see how true that is. Chesterfields 46 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,759 do smoke milder. And with that milder smoke, you get no unpleasant aftertaste. 47 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,720 That fact has been confirmed by the country's first and only cigarette taste, 48 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,160 Prammel. So you know why we say smoke Chesterfield. It's the mild one. 49 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:41,800 It's the only cigarette that combines for you mildness with no unpleasant after taste. 50 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,839 Always buy Chesterfields. You'll agree it's the best cigarette you ever smoked. 51 00:04:54,439 --> 00:04:57,399 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce a swell gal who 52 00:04:57,399 --> 00:05:00,639 traveled with our troop recently through the Orient and the Illusion and did a great 53 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:18,639 job to help entertain over there. Here. She is Marilyn Maxwell. Thank 54 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,480 you, fellas, and thank you Bob. But how about this audience, 55 00:05:21,519 --> 00:05:25,240 Maryland? Aren't they great? Oh? They sure are. I never saw 56 00:05:25,319 --> 00:05:39,439 so many handsome young men. Yeah, Bob, Bob, tell me something. 57 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,519 How is it that you never joined the Air Force? Well? I 58 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,199 thought about it, Maryland, but I blacked up in the air No when 59 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,319 I thought about it. But you may see me in an Air Force uniform 60 00:05:49,319 --> 00:05:53,800 pretty soon, Maryland. Paramount's gonna make a flying picture and I'm up for 61 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:56,279 the lead. Is it a dramatic part, Oh, it's very dramatic. 62 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,040 It's a story of a mean guy who hates everybody in his outfit, and 63 00:05:59,079 --> 00:06:00,279 he spends a month on a day there's an island with Jane Russell, and 64 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,639 he changes. He changes. Yeah, he finds out how much he misses 65 00:06:03,639 --> 00:06:18,120 his buddies. It's sort of a fantasy. Well, have you been signed 66 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,800 for the picture? No? Not Chet, Maryland. That's one of the 67 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:23,519 reasons I'm here at cars Well. I want to find out everything I can 68 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,680 about the Air Force, and then I'll be all set if the studio will 69 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,560 let me play a serious role. Hey, here's someone who can help you. 70 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,720 Bob. One of the enlisted men here at Carswell Airbase, Sergeant Eveson 71 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:47,240 of the four nine two bomb Squadron. Yes, sir, Hey, that's 72 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:50,560 Well Maryland. Step right in here, sergeant. Thank you, mister Hoope. 73 00:06:50,879 --> 00:06:55,720 You can call me Bob. You outrank me. You know what are 74 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,959 you doing here? Sergeant? Are you one of the B thirty six boys? 75 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,920 That's right through. I'm a tail gunner and I wanted to talk to 76 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,079 you because I have a peculiar problem and I think you can help me out. 77 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:15,920 I'm a gunner, not a plastic surgeon. Please, I'll do the 78 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,680 jokes. You just take care of yourself. You just take care of your 79 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,879 slide rule and compass, will you. My problem, sergeant, is to 80 00:07:21,879 --> 00:07:25,879 get some Air Force background for a picture I'm making. What are you doing 81 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,519 the picture, Bibe, Well, I'm a colonel who falls into the scrace 82 00:07:28,519 --> 00:07:30,879 and loses his commission, then goes to China and fights with the flying targets 83 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,759 and regains his commission. Then I get into a brawl in Shanghai with the 84 00:07:33,759 --> 00:07:35,920 Admiral of the British Fleet, so I hopped him a roc and put down 85 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:39,959 a rebellion in the foreign legion. Some spies put me on a coffee boat 86 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,839 bound for Brazil, and I swim ashore and get rescued by a tribe of 87 00:07:42,839 --> 00:07:45,480 Azulu just in time to talk to him out of slaughtering the sellers in the 88 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:58,759 Belgian Congo. After that the action began. Sounds like an interesting picture. 89 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,399 By yeah, I tell you more about it, but I don't want to 90 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,839 ruin the plot for you, Sergeant. What I really want to know is 91 00:08:03,879 --> 00:08:07,800 how you guys act when you're in the air. Suppose you're in a big 92 00:08:07,839 --> 00:08:11,040 thunderstorm with a lot of lightning and the wind tossed on the plane around. 93 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,639 Do you smoke, pace up and down? Or what? Oh? I 94 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:18,839 played cards, looking magazine or manicure my fingernails. That's all. Sometimes I 95 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,600 just fall asleep. Yeah, but how Jack before your nerves went the pieces? 96 00:08:28,279 --> 00:08:31,200 You don't mind answering these questions, do you? Sergeant might producer to 97 00:08:31,279 --> 00:08:33,840 paramount A gonna phone me after the show. So naturally I want to find 98 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:37,559 out everything I can. Well, I have to leave to go back on 99 00:08:37,639 --> 00:08:39,600 duty, Bob. What else did you want to know? Well, there's 100 00:08:39,639 --> 00:08:41,360 a couple of love scenes in the pictures. Suppose Marilyn Max where with your 101 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:45,399 girlfriend? Can you tell me how you'd kiss her? I can show you 102 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:50,039 better, Bob. And I thought that gleaming his eye was stage fright, 103 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,639 Marylynd. The sergeant wants to show me some air Force procedure, okay with 104 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:58,759 you? Well I'd be delighted, sergeant. Well, first, Bob, 105 00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:01,840 we take him in our arms like is, then we hold him close like 106 00:09:01,919 --> 00:09:24,679 this, and then there he's officially in the Air Force. Come on this 107 00:09:24,879 --> 00:09:31,200 micro alog. Thank you, sergeant, and I hope you find your way 108 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:46,080 back to your landing field. Gee, he's quite a man, Bob. 109 00:09:46,279 --> 00:09:50,360 Yeah, I get kissed like that too. If I smeared my lips with 110 00:09:50,399 --> 00:09:56,279 tequila. Anyway, Marylyn I found out. Oh, excuse me, excuse 111 00:09:56,279 --> 00:10:01,000 me, that must be Paramount calling hello. Yeah, put him on. 112 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,080 Hello, miss Freeman, why you've been listening and you're gonna start the trying 113 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,600 picture right away. Oh that's swell, mister Freeman. When do I report 114 00:10:07,639 --> 00:10:13,039 to work? Oh? Oh, I see, well, goodbye. Well 115 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,639 when do you report to work? Bob? I don't they're giving the part 116 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:39,320 to Sergeant Eberson. Oh they golly, Bob Hope. Is that your personality? 117 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:45,519 Or do you have a cold button somewhere? Is there something I can 118 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:46,960 do for you? Well? You don't know me, miss Hope, but 119 00:10:48,039 --> 00:10:50,519 I'm Bubble's Gill again. President of the Barble fans. Lover thought was, 120 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:56,799 oh, that's swell. Oh, we're just double Ginger, double peaches, 121 00:10:56,879 --> 00:11:05,159 super duper crazy about you. Well, I wouldn't go too far. We 122 00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:09,000 meaning us girls, took the food, and we all agreed that we'd even 123 00:11:09,039 --> 00:11:13,159 be willing to eat every bit of our finach if we could find you down 124 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:20,279 at the bottom of the dish. Well. It's a nice thought, but 125 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:26,200 a little messy. Anyway, here's a president. I want to thank you 126 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,320 on behalf of the other girls and myself. We alter turns knitting on it. 127 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,639 We put the initial sea in the middle because you always chested. Feel 128 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:43,320 here all this is wonderful, Just what I needed, a knitted ash tree. 129 00:11:43,799 --> 00:11:46,600 Thank you very much. Oh that's all right, it's a hoop. 130 00:11:48,039 --> 00:11:50,960 And we'd like you to know that we've decided you were the most handsome, 131 00:11:50,120 --> 00:12:11,240 clever and schulman u man. We can't decide about that, you know, 132 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:16,000 mister Hope. The girls in my club think you're just amazing. We also 133 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:20,039 made up a poem about you, mister Hope. Poem uh huh, and 134 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,559 I was appointed to come over here and read it too. Well. Go 135 00:12:22,639 --> 00:12:28,919 write a habit from the girl's fans of of Fort Worth to that peachy fella 136 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:35,240 here on earth. Isn't that sweet? We Texas girls would like to sing, 137 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:39,600 we are glad you traveled down all ways in the cattle country. We 138 00:12:39,679 --> 00:13:09,080 think you're king. You're the biggest lung home we've ever seen. And our 139 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:13,000 friends let me present the only nos in captivity that can test the mildness of 140 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,840 a whole case of Chesterfields in one fell Smith. I choose to interpret that 141 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,440 as a compliment. High and Now, if that's the last of Crosby's old 142 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,159 gags, you're going to steal them. Now, let's get out with the 143 00:13:20,159 --> 00:13:24,799 sales pitch folks better tasting. Chesterfield is the only cigarette that combines for you 144 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,559 mildness with no unpleasant after taste. It sure is, and you can prove 145 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:33,679 it real easy. Just make the Chesterfield mildness test and you'll see. Get 146 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:37,519 yourself a back of Chesterfields, open it and enjoy that mild, mellow aroma. 147 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:43,000 Compare it with your old brand and you'll see Chesterfields are milder. Now, 148 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:46,360 as any tobacco farmer will tell you, tobaccos that smell milder smoke milder 149 00:13:46,639 --> 00:13:50,120 smoke Chesterfields, and you see what I mean. Another thing, that milder 150 00:13:50,159 --> 00:13:56,519 smoking Chesterfield will leave no unpleasant aftertaste. That fact was confirmed by the country's 151 00:13:56,559 --> 00:14:00,279 first and only cigarette taste panel. Yep, there's an old saying in the 152 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,360 Southwest, if you can't whip a man, join him, and you can 153 00:14:03,399 --> 00:14:09,879 apply that to Chesterfield. For some strange reason, they call me texts from 154 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:13,639 all Signs. I should have grown up to be a typical Sun of Texas, 155 00:14:13,639 --> 00:14:16,919 but somehow I wasn't like all the other cowboys. I couldn't ride, 156 00:14:16,919 --> 00:14:20,440 I couldn't rope. Shucks, I didn't even know what year Amon Carter discovered 157 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:35,320 American. I guess the situation was getting hi mighty serious, because one day 158 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,679 my daddy sent for me. He looked at me with those loving eyes that 159 00:14:37,759 --> 00:14:41,200 seemed to tell me he understood my problem and would always help me and be 160 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:46,440 gentle. And then he said, sit down, you major pool cat. 161 00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:52,360 Did you send for me, daddy? Yes? I did. Son? 162 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:56,960 Tell me how long you been my son? Now? Ever since the day 163 00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:01,879 I was born twenty five years ago? Something, Son, your mother played 164 00:15:01,879 --> 00:15:13,519 a dirty trick on both of us. Son, I don't mind telling you. 165 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:18,000 I'm mighty disappointed in the way you turned out. But I'm trying to 166 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,919 be a good text and I'm trying off the hard to be a cowboy. 167 00:15:20,159 --> 00:15:24,799 Why can you say that? Why you don't even smell like a cowboy. 168 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:28,039 How many times did you bathe this year with water? Yes? Twice, 169 00:15:30,159 --> 00:15:46,799 just as I thought, a dude, nor Son, you just ain't going 170 00:15:46,799 --> 00:15:50,200 about it, riot. How long had you been on a horse? Wait 171 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,240 a minute, been on a horse? Ain't the horse supposed to get on 172 00:15:52,279 --> 00:15:56,679 you? No? Either, you get on the ball and become a riding 173 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:03,120 rope and shooting drinking two fists hexan or I'll give you the voice punishment a 174 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:11,200 cowboy can get. What's that? I'll take away your hop along Cassidy suit. 175 00:16:17,679 --> 00:16:19,480 You know that little talk with my daddy made me mighty sad. Yes, 176 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:25,320 sir, my heart was heavier than Glenn McCarthy's money belt. I needed 177 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,720 a bit of encouragement, so I mosied over to my girl's house. My 178 00:16:27,879 --> 00:16:30,879 girl, Mary Jane. She's a pretty little thing, lush, the red 179 00:16:30,919 --> 00:16:33,919 lips, blue eyes, and she wore her yellow hair in a bun on 180 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,080 the top of her head. I didn't mind that, but there was a 181 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:42,200 hot dog in it. I've been kind of shining backwards. Matter of fact, 182 00:16:42,279 --> 00:16:45,960 last night was the first time I got up enough nerve to kiss her. 183 00:16:45,279 --> 00:16:48,440 Yes, Sir, I finally took the bull by the horns. Tomorrow 184 00:16:48,519 --> 00:16:52,440 night, I'm gonna kiss tomorrow night. I'm gonna kiss Mary Jane instead of 185 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:57,000 the bull. She was waiting for me when I got to her house. 186 00:16:57,399 --> 00:17:00,320 How'll detech? How the honey? Tell me? Mary Jane? What have 187 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,279 you been doing today? Well? I got up at four this morning, 188 00:17:03,359 --> 00:17:07,640 milk three herd of cattle, plowed the north forty, repaired two miles of 189 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,000 fence, painted the barn, shingle the roof, dug a well, and 190 00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:18,519 chopped six months topply of firewood. And then I had some lunch. That's 191 00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:23,680 a woman for you, always thinking about food. Well, what did you 192 00:17:23,759 --> 00:17:26,039 do today? Well, you don't. I n't very handy around the ranch 193 00:17:26,039 --> 00:17:29,920 and tried to milk a cow. What do you mean? Well? I 194 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,559 was milking for half an hour and then I discovered I was shaking hands with 195 00:17:32,599 --> 00:17:42,519 myself. Well why didn't you stop? I did after I got two quarts? 196 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,359 Oh, text, why can't you be a real cowboy? Like Tumbleweed? 197 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:57,000 Wakely? Wakely? Is he still hanging around you? Didn't you tell 198 00:17:57,039 --> 00:18:00,680 me you might marry me? Well this would be kind of nice. I 199 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:06,160 got a hankering to get hitched. Maybe someday that'd be a little you and 200 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:15,039 a little me, just what I've always wanted. Midgets, what do you 201 00:18:15,079 --> 00:18:19,359 say, Mary Jane Ron Starry text next to Tumbleweed weakly, you're nothing but 202 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:23,839 a tenderfoot. A tenderfoot. Yeah, why don't you practice being a cowboy? 203 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,119 Get on your horse and ride for a couple of days. No thanks, 204 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:32,799 I'd rather have just my feet tender. Now look Mary Jane Auty of 205 00:18:32,799 --> 00:18:37,240 Mary Jane Tumbleweed, come here, my little doggie and hit you chuck wagon 206 00:18:37,279 --> 00:18:40,359 to my heart. Let me correll you in my arms, and let's clever 207 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,599 some love by the light of the purple sage. How about this guy brushes 208 00:18:44,599 --> 00:18:49,960 his teeth with saddle soap, close as he's never been to a horse when 209 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:55,759 he made a picture of Sydney Green Street. Well look who's here? Text, 210 00:18:55,759 --> 00:19:11,960 Hope, the poop head of the pakers. One more crack out of 211 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:15,960 you and I'll use your head to play a royal cuff record. Now listen, 212 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,559 hush up. Text. Tomba Weed brought his guitar along the serenade. 213 00:19:19,599 --> 00:19:26,799 Men, you got that old geek with him again. You're just messing everything 214 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:33,480 up. Go ahead, tomba Weed, all right. I wanna drink my 215 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:41,039 coffee from an old tin can while the moon goes shine and hide. I 216 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:47,200 want to hear the call of the whipper. Will I wanna hear the corch 217 00:19:47,279 --> 00:19:53,240 cries. I wanna feel the saddle of my old cow horse riding him out 218 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:59,160 on the range, just to kick him in the side. Watch him shore 219 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:07,240 a step and pro out on the Texas play Oh Tumbleweed, that was mighty 220 00:20:07,279 --> 00:20:19,839 pretty. Sounded like Gabby Hayes with his beard on fire her day. And 221 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,319 this is your idea of a Texan huh? Why more Texas than he'll ever 222 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,359 be. Don't get tough with me, son, or I'll wrap my guitar 223 00:20:26,519 --> 00:20:30,119 right around your nick. You do an as'll you what? I'll twang all 224 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:41,079 over you. Well, that's settled to Texas. Get out of here and 225 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:45,000 don't come back and tell you as much a texis as tumbleweed. And furthermore, 226 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,480 I'll never hitch up with you unless you learn to sing pretty like he 227 00:20:48,559 --> 00:20:51,240 does. All right, I'm gonna get me some singing lessons right now, 228 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:55,480 and then I'm coming back for you. That's for sure. That's for dang 229 00:20:55,519 --> 00:21:06,559 shawyah. This here looks like the singing teachers office. I'll go right in, 230 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:14,680 said, gonna come a minute. Hey, what are you doing singing 231 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:25,960 into that envelope? Singing out of singing lesson by mail now Colora? Yes, 232 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,680 if he's not Professor Colonna Voice coach, singing instructor, student of the 233 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:36,160 Fine arts, some heada call salesman. Well, I want to take some 234 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,839 of them there singing lessons so I can be a real text and and win 235 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:51,759 my girl's hand. Alrighty, now first, alrighty, what part of Texas 236 00:21:51,839 --> 00:21:56,640 is that? Alright, let's move, They're coming to Ward. Just let's 237 00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:00,440 go. All right, christ Christ I want to tell you, but I'm 238 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,319 not one of these pony ski teachers who will breed you for money. I'll 239 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,160 only chide you fifty cents an hour. Well that's reasonable, yes, And 240 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,319 I think I can teach you to sing in only two thousand, seven hundred 241 00:22:08,319 --> 00:22:15,640 and fifty hours. I'll wait a minute. That's over one thousand dollars. 242 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,279 Will it cost that much to teach me to sing? All? Will cost 243 00:22:18,319 --> 00:22:21,119 me that much to get to Florida? And my piano player's wife is waiting 244 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:25,680 for me. What about your wife? She's in Mexico with my piano player. 245 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:32,680 Coloda, you're a complete idiot. I know why be half saved. 246 00:22:41,559 --> 00:22:44,359 You know I got a sneaky feeling. You don't know anything about music at 247 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:47,200 all. I don't. I'll have you know. I can play every musical 248 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,119 instrument there is and all at the same time. Well, how is that 249 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:56,680 possible? Big mouth? Seventeen Union times. Well, what about giving me 250 00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:06,160 a lesson? Alrighty now first time, mister. Now, pump in your 251 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:10,720 mouth and stake out your trump all right, father, father, father, 252 00:23:11,039 --> 00:23:15,240 a little father, I can't you're stepping on it. Oh, come now, 253 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:21,720 just a little bit, father, father. What do you know slipped 254 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:36,759 off the roller? Yeah, man, young man, I tell you what 255 00:23:36,759 --> 00:23:40,079 you do. Take this singing instruction book with you and study it. After 256 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,000 you're finished, you'll be a fine singer. Oh thank you, professor. 257 00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,680 I've got to go now. I'm working with another student in the next room, 258 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:59,960 and I've got to sing a song. Excuse me. He happens every 259 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:03,799 time I sing Orange Colored Sky? Still on, Professor, so on? 260 00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,400 I sure hope Mary Jane is home. I read this here singing book from 261 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:22,279 front to back, and she's gotta marry me. Now. Who is it? 262 00:24:22,279 --> 00:24:25,039 It's text, honey, and I'm a real textan. Now I learned 263 00:24:25,039 --> 00:24:26,319 me how to sing. Well, it's too late, now, text. 264 00:24:26,559 --> 00:24:30,160 I found it. Somebody that can sing better than you can. Wake me 265 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,240 put together? Who is it? I was walking an arm mine, but 266 00:24:33,599 --> 00:24:51,640 oh no, hey, Maryland, what is it? Bob? You know 267 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,079 the show is going to be over a little while I've been wondering if you 268 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:56,319 and I could get together we sort of take a little walk. Huh. 269 00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,960 Well, of course, Bob. Oh, you're such a delightful child. 270 00:25:00,079 --> 00:25:02,839 You're just a type i'd like for my sister, and you're just a type 271 00:25:02,839 --> 00:25:11,039 i'd like for my mother. Look, Max, I'm trying to tell you 272 00:25:11,079 --> 00:25:14,000 I'm not as old as you think I am. Fact, I'm practically just 273 00:25:14,039 --> 00:25:15,759 a kid. They won't let me buy a copy of re STCAUI unless I 274 00:25:15,799 --> 00:25:21,119 bring an note from my mother. Oh now, really, Bob, don't 275 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,640 you think it's time you started acting your age? Acting my age? I'm 276 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:27,400 not calling Grandma Moses for a day yet. And just remember, none of 277 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,240 us are saying from old father time. What do you mean? Listen to 278 00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:38,079 me. Someday you figure will start to spread your fall and I just will 279 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:45,039 drop like leads. You find your beautiful smile has fled. No hair, 280 00:25:45,519 --> 00:25:52,440 notpy, your shiny hair. Don't let the wrinkles upset you. I'll still 281 00:25:52,440 --> 00:26:03,400 be happy. I'll met you done it, baby love. Some day you're 282 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:08,839 gonna lose your psy I'll see the doctor in twice a week. My chek 283 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:15,000 suddenly go and geek, you be so death that I'll have to shriek. 284 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:22,720 So you're physical recting up to be happy, to nective. Garn it, 285 00:26:23,599 --> 00:26:33,039 baby, that's long. That love. That's love. We might as wealthy, 286 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:42,000 sensible. That's love. That's love to me. You're indispensible despite the 287 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:48,839 fact that some day you're gonna look really beat. Oh me is all the 288 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:55,599 fell let you eat boy, scouts will help you across the street. Too 289 00:26:55,680 --> 00:27:00,079 old to even be in the screen, so you be too weak to court 290 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:07,599 me. I'm still gonna let you support me. You will always be my 291 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:17,519 turtle Jo. I mean for you and you for me. Collecting socials, 292 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:23,960 guy, go start it, baby, I have an idea. What listen 293 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:30,880 to me, child? Just imagine I'm a kid of seventy. Someone's been 294 00:27:30,920 --> 00:28:02,599 shaking your amal tea. I started, baby, all tang for the memory 295 00:28:03,039 --> 00:28:08,880 of the Air Force personnel at this air base called Carswell. To every guy 296 00:28:10,039 --> 00:28:15,000 who rides the sky in a thirty six, so well, we thank you 297 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:19,759 so much, ladies and gentlemen. Our thanks to the men of Carswell Airbase. 298 00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:22,720 And believe me, we can thank all men like these. The Korea 299 00:28:22,759 --> 00:28:27,240 didn't bring us something worse than a national emergency. I mean a national catastrophe. 300 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,640 Yes, sir, While our Gi in the ground was making the heroic 301 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,640 withdrawal from the port of hung Nam, our Gi in the sky, like 302 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,079 the little Dutch boy who held his hand in the dyke, teamed up with 303 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:41,799 Navies, big guns and held back the Red Tide operations. Hung Nam wrote 304 00:28:41,799 --> 00:28:45,359 a great page in the book of American history and gave us our greatest New 305 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:51,799 Year's resolution to preserve that old American custom liberty. Liberty is a wonderful thing, 306 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:55,240 pays two for one. You get out of it twice what you put 307 00:28:55,279 --> 00:28:57,240 into it. And mister, if we put in half as much as these 308 00:28:57,279 --> 00:29:02,240 men at the United States Air Force, all the communists in the Kremlin couldn't 309 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,240 even put a debt in our New Year's resolution. Thank you, and good 310 00:29:04,319 --> 00:29:12,960 night Shore. Listen for next week's bar Pope Show with our special guest Jane 311 00:29:14,039 --> 00:29:18,640 Russell. Correct for Camp Pendleton. The Field has brought you to bar Pope 312 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:26,319 Show from Parsma Air Base, Port Worth, Texas, Glasgow. This is 313 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,640 NBC, the National Broadcasting Company