Woo. What's up, beautiful people. There's your baby mama, favorite baby
Mama, Stormy Pe And this is another episode of Chocolate Chip and Zip the
modern day female perspective. Dramn Son back at it again, y'all, I'm
back at it again. What another story time? Okay, so let me
tell y'all about my week. All right, So my uncle hits me up,
and y'all know I'm black, right, I know? Oh my god?
Really yeah yeah, I know, surprise surprise, right, but I'm
black. Right. So a lot of my uncles are actually just my mom's
cousins, right, but they're too old for me not to address them without
like some type of salutation. So yeah, I just call over my uncle,
right, But it's actually my mom's cousin. So he lives in North
Carolina and he hits me up and he's like, hey, you know I'm
gonna be in Philly these dates. Let's link. I'm like, okay,
cool, no pride. So he hits me up like randomly a few weeks
later, just checking on your baby girl. I'm like, thanks, UNC,
I appreciate it, appreciate you, UNC. He's like, okay,
cool. So now it's the day of that, we're supposed to be linking
up, right, So he texted me earlier that morning he said, hey,
we're still good for later. I'm like yeah. He sends me a
whole bunch of different options that we can do, mini golf, bowling,
all some fun stuff. I'm like, it don't even matter, unk,
whatever you want to do. Cool, he says. Cool. Then he
calls me and I'm like hello, and he's like, oh, what's up,
pretty lady. Y'all? That wasn't my uncle. That wasn't there's all
time I've been texting and setting up arrangements with someone who I thought was my
uncle. Well that wasn't my uncle. So let me tell you what happened.
Right, Yeah, I met this man like a few months ago,
like back in the spring. He has the same name as my uncle,
so I saved his number in my phone as baby number two. My uncle's
name is baby, so I saved it as baby number two, like the
two finger emoji. Right, So, the whole time we texting, I'm
not paying attention to the fact that there's a number two behind it. Right
now, mind you, This particular individual also doesn't live in Philly, so
when he's saying I'm coming to town. It made sense to me because my
uncle don't live in town neither right seven move. So I'm like, fuck,
what we're gonna do, y'all? What we're gonna do? Am I
gonna go on a date? Am I gonna tell him that I think it's
somebody else. I'm like, let me go to the gym and I think
about it. So I go to the gym, I think about it,
and in true Storm fashion, I call that man and say, Yo,
you wan't hear something fun need that you probably not gonna think it's funny,
And he like, what's up? So I explained to him the mishap and
he's like, oh, well, you know you still want to link up.
I'm like yeah. So when we get together later on, one of
the first questions I had to ask him was you didn't notice I was calling
you unk this whole fucking time, Like for the past six months, I've
been calling you unk. You didn't think that was weird? He was like,
oh no, my screen name on ig is So I thought that's why.
It was literally one of those situations where everything just aligned the absolute wrong
way. So, yeah, I went out on a date with my uncle
who wasn't my uncle? And yeah, questions, comments, concerns, shot
you said you had a few, you didn't answer them, Okay, no,
no, no. First of all, imagine my surprise, exactly,
imagine my surprise. Whyn't answer the phone. And I heard his voice but
he didn't sound like my uncle, So I was even more confused, like,
pretty lady, what the fuck? Who is this? Yeah? So
yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad he called first, because what if I
would have went to the spot and I'm like calling my uncle, like,
Yo, where are you at? He like in North Carolina? What the
fuck do you mean? Me? Right? So, yeah, I fucked
up? All right, let's go to the life. I am not Jo
says left in my ass off, Hey yo, tell this story. Snake
Skeezy says, nah, I fam forever chasing money says, hey, yo,
you just got catfish and you didn't even know it. I did.
But here's the thing. I catfished myself like like a doofy, like a
doofy. I can't fish myself. Dark Man seventeen said you'd be looking good
in the gym. Oh, thank you baby, thank you baby, thank
you, thank you, thank you. Scotland Rock seventy eight says you better
change that name. I'm not gonna lie to y'all. I really gotta grow
up because I still haven't changed this name in my phone. So yeah,
that's but you know what, I'm gonna talk to you about something else.
What we hear, Dammit, I want to talk to you about something else
while we hear. I don't know who is going around here on our gorst
internet spreading these vicious lies that I have a boyfriend, Like, really,
who is it? Who is it? Like for the past few weeks,
people have been commenting on my stuff like it's a trap. She got a
man though? Did your man approve this? You doing all this like you
single? We know where your man at blah blah blah blah blah, and
it's not where you're man at, Like I'm trying to be inquisitive and shoot
my shot where you're man at. It's like these people are disgusted that I'm
entertaining these niggas when I got a boyfriend at home, I'm like, what
the fuck? Who is this person spreading these vicious lick my nigga, you
are scaring the hos, Like what is this what is this? How dare
you? Whoever is going around telling people that I have a boyfriend? Your
mom's a hope. I don't care, no, no, and didn't and
didn't and I don't care. Okay, very inconsiderate. I'm going to say,
as a camera it looks good. Okay, great, great, great,
Our fite says it's probably your ex making sure twenty twenty seven happens.
He'll see you. Then you are petty. You are so petty and just
a gentleman. Update. I have not heard from that man since. We
have not talked to either. Right, thank you for tend to the right.
But okay, so if you didn't listen to the last episode, I
tried to spend a block on my ex, and as you can imagine,
it didn't go well. Right. I haven't heard from him since, but
I know for a fact somehow it probably has gotten back to him because we
went to high school together. So and a lot of people follow me like
that we went high school with, so I'm sure somebody was like, yo,
higgy crazy at shit, listen to this. Yeah, so that's it,
And yeah, fuck y'all whoever saying that, Fuck y'all. Dapper man
says, excuse me, do you have somebody to cook for you? I'm
hollering. DA thought says, damn, the jig is up. Slim Tim
two point zero says, oh she's single, single, y'all? Yes,
sir, evolution of a gentleman. What's good? Baby? All right?
So o z t A R. Two six says, smells like a restraining
order. It is coming up soon. Y'all are the worst? All right?
All that aside, we talked about spending the block, talked about being
intentional. We talked about, like you know, moving with the purpose.
I feel like it's important that both sexes give the other sex tips and tricks
and how to be better. This is how we're going to improve the dating
game. This is how we're going to improve the dating pool. We honestly
have to be honest and put out there what we like, what we don't
like, and that's how we are going to get better. Right, So
with that being said, fellas, fellas, fell us, fellas, come
talk to me, Come talk to don't talk, just listen. Actually,
okay, fellas, y'all be so worried about how much money you make and
what type of car you drive and what type of house you live in.
And I really want y'all to know that the quickest way to get a woman's
attention is to smell good. Just smell good. That's all you gotta do.
Fellas, y'all be so worried about how much money you make, what
type of car you drive, what house you live in. The quickest way
to get a woman's attention is to smell good. Just smell good. That's
all you have to do. Okay, Now, I do want to say
this one little thing right, that is the quickest way to get her attention.
Now, maintaining her attention, that's up to you, my guy,
that's up to you. But I can give you a little jump step right.
I can give you a little boost, a little booths right, get
a little step up right. I'm trying to tell you all you have to
do is smell good. That is the quickest way to get a second look
from a woman. It's intinctive. We can't control it. Like if we
just out in public, don't matter, Jim, library, grocery story,
doctor's office. If we get a whiff and we're just chilling and we get
a I swear to bob okay vibe because you know this is my homeway,
and I can't be just making him and his father like that, you know.
But let's say I promise you the quickest way to get a woman's attention.
It's just to smell good. Like if you walk by and you just
smell like, come bend me over, you just walk by. Now,
that might not be your fragrance of choice, right, but if you just
walk by smelling good, instinctively, a woman is going to whip her neck
and look at you. Now, what you do once she looks at you,
that's up to you. But that's just a little free game for you.
That is just a guaranteed second. Look, now, what you're gonna
do with it? What you're gonna do with it? What you're gonna do
with it? Outfits says, I'm gonna stock up on that sex panther cologne.
Baby, go get you some of that sex panther. Yeah. Yeah.
And and you know what's crazy, I would say something like, you
don't want to smell like every other man. But honestly, I think men
be a little bit like territorial over their cologne. Like men are almost more
territory about their cologne than they are about their women. You asking me,
and when he got on and he smells good, he go with the chill
chill, chip, chill, chill chill. Yes, yes, why y'all
act like that room everybody like me, but you you act like it's y'all
act like it's some type of secret fragrance that all y'all got. My nigga,
they sell us at Macy's, they sell this, my nigga, My
nigga, they sell my nigga. They sell this at Bloomingdale's. Macy's.
Okay, how about that, y'all act like y'all going to Thailand and get
some special ship. My nigga, they sell us at Macy's, Bloomingdale's,
nor Strom, Like, why y'all be so secretive over y'all cologne? You
can't ask a man what you got on because the first thing you're gonna say
is no, could you go to your niggas and is and don't be a
hater? Okay, And honestly, ladies, just a pro tip, Okay,
if you buy all your men the same cologne when they come visit,
they'll just think that it's their smell in your bed sheet. Okay. Now
this this is for those who are casually dating, non monogamous. Okay,
this ain't for the faithful ones. I'm just talking about the ones who are
here enjoying themselves. Buy all you men the same cologne, because then they'll
always think it's them that smells like them in your bed. Why now,
y'all don't want gifts. See, niggas don't want to be happy. Now,
y'all don't want the clone. Now y'all don't want me to buy y'all
a clone. Wow, that's crazy, that's crazy. Ooh, you may,
matter of fact, drop your favorite colone below. I'm trying to see
something. I'm trying to see something. The live is already popping with the
good shit. So fellas listen. Okay, don't do sex panther. That
was a joke. Do not do sex panther. Right, but so far
we got ooh. Qassin fell says, check npocreations dot for the quasi fragrances.
You about to sell yourself, black man. DJ Rennie says, de
or fahrenheit dress up attire only. I like that he's given out tips.
I like this. I like where this is going. Craig, Oh no,
he said DJ Renny things, So I gotta score back up serious,
a big poppy eighty eight says, man, I tell everybody, especially since
the majority of stuff I wear is niche, so it can get expensive.
Norri's mom says, because they think you're gonna share it with your man if
you have one. Yeah. J nine two and five says, I don't
mind giving my cologne secrets because you can't wear it like I wear Ooh,
I like that. I like that. Fever Chasing Money says, We're not
giving out our secrets. We're not giving out our secret colone. God damn,
mister Lowpire says, she you see Dion Cole and the old Spice body
wash commercials does? E B nine six says, what's your go to perfume?
Oh my god, I'm so happy that you asked right. So my
favorites would be, uh, Chanelle, Chance Versace, Bright Crystal, Uh
what else? Those are my favorites. Those are like my top two Michael
Corse, Sexy Blossom, Uh, Chanelle, Mademoiselle. Those are my top
three for sure, top three for sure and Conzidently, I don't see a
lot of or I don't smell a lot of women when my Figers is on
when I go out you know what shot You're just it's just, it's just,
it's just a horrible person. It's just why would you try to why
would you try to set me up like that? That's crazy? Uh.
J x Anthony says, I'll give you some of my old rotation names,
not my n season rotations. I like that. J Night two one five
says I can see you wearing Clinique happy mm hmm. And I also like
a daisy by Mark Chikops that's cool too. A Breezy two three five seven
says that sexy Blossom is very accurate with you. Thank you, ah being
so I got your attention. I just want to say one more thing,
especially since we got a few people in our live today. I don't know
who needs to hear this. Seven is it you? Is it you?
I don't know who needs to hear this. But don't call me on IG
okay, don't call me on Facebook. Don't call me on IG. Don't
call me on Facebook. Okay. I don't care who you are. I
am never gonna answer. I don't care if I know you in real life.
I don't care if I'm with the third grade together, I don't care.
Don't call me on ig together like or Facebook or facebook like. It's
so I can't think of enough word other than fucking weird. It is because
it's like, Yo, if I wanted you to call me, you would
have my phone number and I know something. Y'all like, oh, you
say your that. But if it was a celebrity or an athlete, I
tell them the same shit. Don't call me. Don't call me, because
now that makes me feel like you're entitled. Now if you're just like a
regular person, no, I'm just gonna think you have poor social skills.
But a girl like a celebrity or athlete, I'm like, yo, like
you're feeling very intitled, like my nig I don't know you like that.
Don't call me. Don't call me, don't call me. I'm not gonna
lie. You know who could call me and I would answer. You know
who could call me on Facebook or Instagram and I will answer. Wayne Brady.
Wow, I love Wayne Brady. Wayne Brady is a fucking icon.
Okay. First of all, his improv skills are unmatched. Okay, he's
a comedic genius, all right, He's super talented. He can dance,
he could sing, Okay, His creative ast but Wayne Brady is the only
person who can call me on ig or Facebook. I don't care. That's
it, that's it, and that's all. I don't care. Uh As
Steve Quay says, who did it? Point them out? I'm not going
to finger nobody. But it's been like progressing as time has going past.
So I felt like maybe y'all kept doing it because y'all didn't know. And
it's not even the same person. So that's why I feel like I need
to say something. Love. Thomas four says, I'm in love with you.
You make me laugh. Thank you. I've been a clown all my
fucking life. Yes, it's one of my talents. Yeah, yes,
thank you Nick. Nick from me right a boudoirs in here said, are
y'all supporting this queen? Buy her badges? Folks? That's absolutely right.
Shout out to Nick. I just saw you boor the badge. Thank you?
Yes, yes, shot, said hey Nick. Sarachi Poppy just jumped
right in. First off, Sarachi Poppy, Oh my god, Sarachi Poppy
says, First off, can you do a cart will? Second, what's
the youngest you're willing to entertain? You missed that conversation. Big, I
don't think I made that a clip. I gotta make that a clip for
next year next not next year, next week. You gotta go back like
two episodes, bro, I talked about that and the young niggas, And
there's a question and there's also a question from Click this question mark down here
and put your questions in and I can answer. I'm leader you two,
I am touch money beest. Click this question mark and put your questions in
here so I can move a room later. Okay. I just want to
switch topics for a second because or maybe not even switch topics, because I
know we were talking about giving people tips and tricks and you know how to
move forward. Listen, man, I just want to say, if you
want to be Polly, if you want to open relationship, if you want
to be non monogamous, that's fine. Just leave us monogamous. Spoke the
fuck amone. Okay. I just want to say that's one little thing,
because I feel like this is another problem that's really hindering the dating pool and
community. If you want to be Polly, if you want to be in
an open relationship, all that is cool, Okay. The monogamous community is
never hating on y'all. We are never hating on y'all. Y'all like to
spread this narrative of, oh, y'all just mad because you just want somebody.
No, we don't. We mad because we want you to leave us
the fuck alone. That's why we're mad. And my whole thing is,
you don't never really hear a lot of monogamous people trying to convert non monogamous
people, but like them, poly niggas be wanting us to take our shahda
so bad. Like, wait a minute, baby, Wait a minute,
Wait a minute. All right, this ain't my fight to fight. Okay,
this ain't the life that was bestowed upon me. I don't want it.
I don't want it, like and it's really frustrating because I really be
trying to understand how you think we're going to be happy if I want to
be monogamous and you don't. But on the same tip of that, I'm
gonna have to say, ladies, you gotta start speaking up for yourselves.
Okay, when that man tell you he ain't looking for nothing serious, or
when that man tells you that he ain't really looking to settle down right now
or be with one person, that's not his lifestyle. Believe him, okay,
believe him, Believe him okay, because he ain't lying. He's not
lying. He means that. And I know you think, oh, that's
just because he had none of this pussy before. He ain't never been with
a real bitch like. Yes, he has and has and has, and
he still don't want to be settled down right now. He still doesn't want
to be one person. Can we just pay attention and be real with ourselves?
Please? All right? That's all. That's all I want to say
about that. Wikchek says, I'm anagamous pending on the situation. I respect
that. I respect that one thousand percent. Thank you Outfits for Ryan A
badge. Mister Billy Eire says, talk about the serial daters, monogamous women
be serial daters? Do they though? Do they? I don't know?
Are you know? What? My problem is? None of my male friends
right now, and I love all y'all I love. Before I start the
statement, I want to say, I love all y'all. Right, I
love all my male friends, but realistically, none of y'all are really trying
to settle down right now? Y'all say, y'all are but y'all not,
and I tell y'all shit in private, so I'm gonna say it right here
on my podcast. Right. So, I don't really know a lot of
women who are serial daters because my male friends don't encounter them because they be
like, oh yeah, with a relationship, and then they have like three
perfectly fine women in front of them and don't want a wife, none of
them. And I just feel like, yeah, you dumb, You're stupid,
You're stupid. Antoine Floyd Senior says, I want me two of you.
Wickcheck says I got one girlfriend only and I'm peachy. A Breezy two
three five seven says do you believe in marriage or getting married nowadays? I
do absolutely. I want to get married. I'm somebody finance wife like what
not yet in the future I will be. Maybe that's why niggas think I
got girlfriend because I always be talking like I got a man. Well,
maybe that's why niggas think I have a boyfriend because I'm already I'm always talking
like I have a man or husband. I don't care. I'm manifested.
Help the fuck. Yeah. So that's it. That's that's just what I
wanted to talk about that. My bad y'all was just trying to scroll up
on the lives. Okay, so life media says, Lol, you gotta
speak things into existence exactly. Cardier Benjamin Est nineteen eighty seven says, Oh
says, uh damn, where did that just go? It just disappeared so
fast. I'm sorry, y'all. The live is going fast today. Raschy
Poppy says, the way I'm doing a cavity check every time you laugh,
girl, make tiny teeth look better than Beyonce. First of all, don't
I talk about my teeth. Don't talk about my teeth. Surgeons six twelve
says, women do the same. They'll have multiple guys say stringing waiting on
a guy who ain't serious, I ain't gonna lie. We do not that
part I can attest to because I see it with my girlfriends. Ladies.
We be having seat fillers. Like we know there are some men who we
don't mind being with, but we just don't want to be with them because
we're waiting for somebody else. Coincidentally that somebody else don't want us, that
somebody else don't want us, So we have what I like to call seat
fillers. Right, these are people that you are gonna entertain, You're gonna
go out on dates with, you might even have sex with. But you're
like low key stringing these people along. That's not fair. And I'm gonna
be real with you. You're a person, whether it be your boyfriend,
your partner, your husband, whoever, they're not gonna come along until you
stop with that seat for the bullshit. Seriously, it all likectuality, So
cutt the fuck out and just be by yourself. Why are you so scared
to be lonely? Ho It's okay, Dawn doa Thought says, not seat
fillers. That's exactly what they are. Though. They're seat fillers, like
they're just there to keep you company from time to time. And like I
said, some of them you might even be giving some cheeks too. But
you don't really want these people for real? Like you don't? Yeah.
Cardier Benjamin Eest nineteen eighty seven says you'll never find a person that fits every
check in your criteria checklist. I agree. I think it's important to have
your non negotiables right. I think it's important to have realistic non negotiables one
dating. I think it's very important to have realistic non negotiables, right,
so you can have things like, hey, I want my man to be
spiritual, right, I want them to like trap, I want him to
be able to communicate. These are realistic non negotiables. But when you say
things like I want him to drive a Ferrari but you make thirty k a
year where you expecting meet them? Sis? Can we talk about that?
Or no, we're not talking about that right now? When you say things
like you know, I want him to make six figures but you barely make
four, what are we talking about right now? Like you want him to
make six figures but you barely make five. Hold on, hold on,
hold on, because I'm gonna give you all a little bit of credit.
You might be making five, right. I think that sometimes when we go
through our dating wishless, we need to be fucking for real, okay,
Like and fellas, I'm not gonna let you fellas, I'm not gonna let
y'all get away scott free either, okay, Because sometimes you'd be like,
yo, I want to join with a bblan. I want a jo on
whose body look like a coke bottle, but you look like a big toe.
But you look like a big toe, right, like, not only
do you look like a big toe, you don't even have the funds to
make up for you looking like a big toe. So this is why I
say, we gotta be fucking for real, right Like, I think we
need to revisit our non negotiables and make sure they're realistic. Okay, okay,
all right now, it's nothing wrong with having a wishless, but we
have to make sure we know what goes on the non negotiables and what goes
on the wishless okay, because everything don't qualify for both those lists. Yeah,
big toes are ugly, and so are some of these niggas, respectfully,
And I'm always gonna say respectfully because I love y'all. I love y'all,
and it's a safe space. But come on, now, we gotta
be fucking for real. What did I do? J x Anthony says,
barely making in five figures? It's crazy, but they do. Ava Tar
Deanna said, Avatar Dianna. Sorry, I just had a dumb moment.
People need to stay within their spirit of availability. I'm at at that day.
Thought says you need to stop. I even do nothing. Cardier Benjamin
Eest nineteen eighty seven says, that's when you get in this Kevin Samuel's chat.
I don't want to be in a Kevin Samuels shit, y'all. Don't
don't. Don't I know that I like the algorithm. Mother fuck me out
with that's what. First of all, don't put me in a Kevin Samuel's
algorithm. All right. I'm just saying, sometimes we need to be realistic.
That's it. That's it in that so all uh Adriel Ladishina says big
toe description is the funniest thing I've heard. Am I lying doa thought,
says baby here, baby killing me tonight. A big toe? Yes,
a big toe. That's what some of y'all counterparts look like. Yes,
a big toe? All right? But yeah, man, I think that
sometimes we need to be realistic with ourselves. And when I say we need
to be realistic with ourselves, ladies, I just want to talk to y'all
for a minute. I want y'all to know that it's okay to be a
lover girl, it's okay to live, you're in your soft girl era.
All these things are fine and well within your means. But I just want
to go back to being fucking for real and doing things that we actually want
to do. Okay, Like, for example, right, it's easy to
show a dog that y'all can both be dogs, But are you really engaging
in behavior that you actually want to do? You know what I mean?
And the reason I say this is sometimes when a man do you wrong,
You're like, oh, I gotta go get my lick back? Do you
though, is that what you want to do? Though? Do you actually
want to go on a date with that fuck nigga from the group chat?
Do you actually want to go over a contestant number two house? Do you
do you? Do you actually want to go on a date with inconsistent Isaiah?
Do you do you actually want to go on a date with inconsistent Isaiah?
Or are you just trying to get your look back right? Like?
It be fucking me up because bruh, Like, do you really want to
hang out with funky Frank? Do you really want to go see Sean?
Do you do you really want to go see stupid ass Sean? And I'm
serious, Seaw, I'm serious, I'm serious. Do you really want to
hang out with these people? Toe Jim, Tim? It's crazy? Do
you really want to hang out and possibly even be intimate with these people,
or are you just trying to get your link back? Like, we gotta
be serious and real with ourselves. Like it's easy to show a man that
you can be a dog. It's easy to show a man that you can
be on paw patrol too. Okay, you can be chase. We know
that, we know that sense. But do you want to do you want
to be these things? Do you want to engage in this behavior or are
you moving solely to hurt this man? Think about it? Think about it.
Would you be engaging in this type of behavior if he hadn't hurt your
feelings? Would you be engaging in this type of behavior if you know y'all
was good, if y'all was cool right now, if y'all was good,
the relationship was fine. No, Like, I just know that it's easy
to get fed and get fucked right, but it's even harder to stand on
business and be a real nigga when people do you wrong. I'm just saying
like it is. It is like hmm hm, And I think we also
need to pay attention to you out here trying to hurt this other man feelings.
You not even realize the guy you're giving your kouchie to your time to
whatever. Two he ain't this shit to earn it, like every day he
would be in guy number one position. The guy number two is getting fucked
and fat for free, Like, come on, now, we don't have
to do this. Come on, we don't really like doing these things.
And I need us to acknowledge that a lot of us don't really like doing
these things. We just be trying to get our look back. It's not
the way to go, not the way to go. When line one two
two seven says I can look at your gorgeous face and listen to that voice
all night. Outfit says hot Breath Harry, y'all are walid hot brother Harry
is crazy crazy a easy two three five seven says broke Bobby, Like seriously,
y'all don't really be wanting to live this life. And Outfit says Pill
poping Paul, not Paul with the perks, Perky Paul, It's crazy,
Perky Paul is crazy. Island de Wood, Oh Islam. The Wood says
lame Larry Strife the villain says, hey, yo, keep my name out
of this. I'm just saying, like ell Choko Mambo says real talk.
Hardest thing for most people to do is actually look in the mirror, think
about it. That's real outfit, says big Toe Billy cheating Chad, Like
y'all is wilin'. Y'all don't have to act like this. But I'm happy
that we all can be honest and say, like, yo, we can
really be wanting to live this life. We just be talking shit. We
just be trying to act like we go like in all actuality, you're not
even about that life. You don't really like these niggas. You don't really
want to hang with them. You're just trying to get your look back,
and that's cool. But I want you to know it's okay not to get
your look back. It's okay not to get your link back. It's okay,
it's okay not to get your look back, sis, especially if you're
gonna be engaging in behavior that you don't even really want to do it.
You don't even live this life when you and your girlfriends go out the club,
you don't need to be shaking ass like that, like you really don't
want to live this life, like you don't have to. You don't have
to do all this to try to prove a point and get your lick back.
You don't got to do that. Just just let the cars leave with
it, lay like, that's it, that's it. Just take the l
I'm not gonna lie like I really used to want to get my lick back
until I realize God's swing harder than me anyway. I don't gotta worry about
that. God swing harder to me anyway. I ain't worry about it.
I ain't worry about it. Just let it be. Niggas, do you
wrong. You can't control it. Only thing you can control is how you
respond to it. And just let that shit go. Let it be.
That's it, and that's all. So I just wanted to pivot for a
second because right now social media, it was very popular this week. Everybody's
talking about, you know, friends of opposite sss, opposite sex. I
should have a brain part. Everybody's talking about platonic friends. Can men and
women be platonic friends? Right? And we discussed this a few months back,
but I just wanted to jump back in because I'm not against opposite sex
being friends, but I feel like we should be paying attention to the red
flax. Right. I do believe that men and women can genuinely be platonic
friends. However, we need to be paying attention to the red flags,
like if your friend of the opposite sex never wants to hear about anybody you're
dating, baby, they don't want to be your friend. They don't want
up in y'all goddamn friend, all right? Like if every time you bring
up a man or every time you bring up a woman is Yoh, come
on me, I don't want to hear all that. I don't want to
hear all that. Why nigga? Why oh? You don't want to hear
about your competition? Oh now I get it. Y don't want to hear
about your competition. I get it, But baby, it's only competition you
because I've already deemed that we're friends. Excuse me, we've already deemed that
we're friends. So are you not really my friend? Because my whole thing
is I don't mind hearing about my guy friend's situations, like what's up?
What's up? What's really here? What's unpack? Okay, let's unpack?
And ladies, you be missing this the most, respectfully, Sometimes I ain't
gonna say sometimes, women, we miss this the most. We do we
don't even be paying attention. We just be like, oh, that's just
my bro my bros ky, broski want to rearrange your guts. Okay,
definitely, And you be acting like you understand why your man don't like him
because he peeps his behavior and sees that he wants to rearrange yougether that this
is not what everybody. This is not what everybody. I'm just saying,
pay attention to the red flags, like I don't care how much that man
goes when someone brings up your name. I don't care how much when someone
brings up your name, sure to go, I'm gone, yeah right,
No, it don't matter. It don't matter. If they don't want to
hear about who you're dating or what you have going on, they're not really
your friend, any man who I consider in my life. They don't mind.
Let me vent for a second about what my delusional ass think my next
husband is gonna be, or who the next man I done went with,
Like, they don't mind, they don't mind, Like my guy friends don't
mind hearing about who my delusional ass has called my husband this week. Okay,
they don't mind because we're actually friends, right and in the same token,
like if you trying to tell sis about like am I wrong or some
shit and for some reason, you're never wrong. If you're venting to your
female friend about some certain situation and you're never wrong, and you're thinking Jesus
says strong, fuck like, come on, come on, like. I
don't think that it's a problem with men and women being platonic friends. I
just think that we need to pay attention to who wants a little more than
friendship, you know what I mean. My lip gloss is so sticky today.
I don't like it. I feel like, yeah, I think it's
also the combination of beer and lip gloss, you know, because I'm a
real nigga. But yeah, I think the chemicals, I don't know.
I think it's something happening. They keep making my lips sticky, sticky,
sticky. The last thing I want to talk about is, uh, you
know what really bothers me, y'all. And I want y'all to listen to
me when I say this. Not a lot of things get under my sin.
Not a lot of things get under my skin, right, But when
y'all being on the internet talking shit about certain things, it really gets to
me, Right, and one of those things is I hate when y'all be
all in the comments talking about Okay, but she's still single, she not
telling us something. She might be the problem. If she's still single,
then it gotta be a reason. First of all, do you know that
I will eat my nigga gum out his mouth? Okay? I can't just
fuck with anybody, all right, y'all be acting like it's unheard of for
a woman to still be single, and if she is, it has to
be something wrong with her. No, baby, I like to get nutted
in while I kiss. Okay, I can't fuck with everybody, all right,
Like y'all be so caught up in the schematics of trying to be in
a relationship and just being in a relationship with anybody. I'm not built like
that. I'm not built like that. I can't just fuck with anybody because
I'm moved different, all right. Like it just be so confusing to me
because it's like the fact that y'all can just fuck with anybody, it's really
fucking scary. Like, bro, I pay card notes. I can't fuck
with everybody. That's not stop you do for everybody? All right? Like
like I said, like I like to kiss, so I getting noted in
that's not stuff you do with everybody my guy like. And I'm smart enough
to realize that, which is why I don't fuck with everybody. So excuse
me for not passing this fact Coodie cat around. Okay, excuse me for
wanting to wait for my person? How dare I? Who do I think
I am? The next time you want to comment under one of my things
saying okay, but she's still single. Remember, I can't just fuck with
anybody. I can't. There are certain things that I like to do that
I can't do with just anybody, all right, And this is no shade
to those that can. But I'm a grown ass adult and I've literally only
been in like three relationships. I don't count my kiddy ones because you know
who the fuck is count in high school. But like, I've literally only
been in three relationships. I can't fuck with anybody. That's just not how
I move, right. So A Breezy two three five seven say you trying
to take a niggas soul. J Mac the insurance man says you are doing
the right thing. Brizzie four zero says, talk that shit sys out fist
says, that's an exclusive club and is and is and is. Jax Anthony
says, Stormy gives me nutting me and get mad when you listen to her.
What the fuck? Oh? I get what you just said? Yeah,
I am that person because why would you do that? Are you dumb?
If I say not in me, don't nut in me? What the
fuck? Like? Ugh? Ugh Strife, The villain says, none of
them while kissing is wild? But you but you see what I'm saying.
Oh, this is why I can't like. This is why I can't like
if we locked in and we gotta be locked in and if we ain't locked
in, I just can't fuck with you like that. D O Way Thought
says we went from Oprah to backroom adventures? What's that? Is that a
for? I don't watch porn, so I don't know? Is that a
pornoe? Somebody tell me? Please? I don't know. I don't know.
Young Greatness too four says, and all for real A Breezey two three
five seven says, gum out the mouth, my guy, But yeah,
man. Brizzie four zero says real shit though, chicks with standards only nastiest
shit for the niggas they care about exactly exactly Outfitz says, high score relationships
fall off like credit scores and do ha ha and do and do. Scotland
Rock seventy eight says, since you like to pay car notes, ken a
brother had two dollars. No, that's from my men, my me and
my me and my men. But like, really, first of all,
going back to my original point, I really just can't entertain everybody because the
life I live, is the lifestyle that I live, or that I want
to get to my partner isn't something you get to everybody. Because that's how
you get people standing outside your house, that's how you get restrained in orders,
that's how you get pfas, all right, So yeah, I gotta
be a little more selective. Just be easy on me, please, all
right, be easy, all right. So I just wanted to get this
one little thing in. By the time this drops, it's gonna be Thanksgiving
week, ladies and gentlemen, Bye bye bye, bir. And you know
what, I'm always compelled to give back. I'm a good person. I'm
a real good person, and I'm always compelled to give back. And when
I was thinking about what can I do for Thanksgiving this year. Hold on
y'all like a sticky licklots again. When I was thinking about what I can
do for Thanksgiving this year, a couple of things cross my mind. You
know, I can give out turkeys. I don't understand why they give out
turkeys to the homeless, because it's like where the fuck they gonna cook it?
They don't got no home? But you know whatever, right, I
always be thinking about, like, you know, what can I do to
give back this year? So it's like, uh, give away turkeys that
don't really make sense. I could pass out blankets, but then it's like,
oh, I'm feel bad off, like I give all all my blankings
and I see that one person. So I decided to go a different route
when helping out for Thanksgiving this year. So I want you to ask yourself,
are you tired of your family being in your business every Thanksgiving? Wondering
when you're going to get a little girlfriend? I have just a solution.
Hire me. I can be here bait of Thanksgiving right now. Don't worry.
We have different packages to address your needs. Right. So the first
package it's called cranberry sauce. All right, Now, this is where I
will stay for one hour with a premate excuse on why I gotta fucking leave,
okay, Like legit, I'm coming through, Like, oh man,
your house is so beautiful. I really wish I could stay, but you
know, I got to get over to my folks house. Grandma is having
a flip about her sweep and data's out. I got it all together,
all right, I got it all planted out, okay. So yeah,
that's gonna be the first package. Now the second package, this one it's
called ares okay, because we gotta have cool names. If we don't have
cool names, is it really a fucking package? Is it? Is it?
Let me know? All right? So the next package is called Cali
Greens, and I'll stay for two hours. I'll throw a little light shade
at your bougie auntie, okay, because everybody got one of the bougie aunties
that like that throw shade on the low. And I'm funny on the low.
So I feel like that could be very beneficial. And I talk to
your grandma for ten minutes by myself. All right, go ahead, tell
me about the Cold War and the depression. Damn. Martin Luther King said,
what Wow, that's amazing. Who was the hole back in the day
and she got her cousins. See you see how involved I am. This
can be it, This can be it, This can be us. I
can give this to you. Okay. Now, this last package, this
the one that's gonna bring you home. Okay, Now pay attention because this
is the one you might need, all right, this is the one that
you really might need. All right? Well damn shot shot phone off in
the middle of it. Like what the last package is a The last one
is gonna be the sweet potato pot package. You get everything from the previous
packages, and I bring my own little side dish. What you want me
to bring baby mac and cheese with the crusty top. You want to bring
some colli greens? You wanna be my sweet potato fluff? What you want?
I bring that for you? Some potato silad cool. I got you
what you need? I bring that. Yeah, I'm the pretty one that
cooked. That's me. That's me, right, And but wait there's more.
And I'll let your creepy uncle flip with me for the night. Yeah
yeah, yeah, you know, Uncle Johnny be drawing, you know,
Uncle Johnny heavy making everybody feel uncomfortable, but y'all love them, so I'm
act like I love them too. It's cool, all right, buck with
me now, don't spend another Thanksgiving miserable. What everybody asking? When you're
gonna settle down? And this isn't general exclusive ladies, this can be you
too. Okay, what's up? Holl at me, let's get it.
Holler at me all right. Sarachi Poppy says, you've been in your bag
all night. I'm just saying, like everybody, don't gotta keep your uncle.
Everybody gotta keep your uncle. M three three Hill said I need to
sweep a Tato pop package. Strike the Villain said, I knew that be
a name exactly because you're smart. Kung Stu says, damn grandma gas?
What was five cents a gallon? That's wow? Alfin says, you know
someone gonna take you to fuck serious show. Listen, the holidays is coming
up, and my sun need money for v Bucks. Like, what's up?
We can get it. We can all make this work for us.
Thank you very much. Okay, it takes a village. Thank you shot,
thank you? So all right, guys. So Handsome fifteen said I'm
the uncle Johnny though, you gotta relax, You gotta relax. Outfit says,
please leave Uncle Touchy out of this or fuck it's Uncle Touchy. Y'all
better not call him that, y'all. Bet I call him that. Y'all
better not call him that? And why is he still in the house?
Thank you, Shy, thank you? Uh. Jerry JP said this is
a TikTok video or I'm definitely cutting this is one of the clips. For
sure, for sure. I rob Ado one says, Nah, I'm not
hiring you to play that role if you do it too old with my family,
I'm the one that's gonna catch feelings. Big Meach Dummy two two says
trying to be in mession pajamas by Christmas. Oh that's a different package.
That's it. I'll I'll release that a little bit later. Kunk Stu says,
touchy uncle Tim see you see. All I'm saying is this can be
you fuck with me now, all right, guys, So now we are
going to get into the edible portion of the show. So the edible portion
is when I read questions, comments, stories that you guys sit in and
usually on the day that I record, I put a prompt up on my
social media and if what you have to send in is a little bit long
and it doesn't fit, you can always DM me or you can email inquiries
at storyp dot com. Okay, okay, so the first one, uh,
would you entertain a situation outside of your state? So y'all know,
I got a story for everything. I've lived a really eventful life, right,
So I got trauma from come on, come on, go on,
yo, Sean, can I give my story out? Don't laugh, let
me finish, just say what I gotta say. So, like I was
saying before, I was really interrupted and laughed at. I don't even know
how to say it. Now I got like trauma from like trying to date
out of state, Like the last guy I tried to date out of state,
he had a baby on me. The last guy I tried to date
out of state, he got a baby on me. So now I got
a little bit of trauma. I don't care. This is a safe space,
right, this is safe space, and we share. So I'm gonna
tell y'all, right, like I got a little bit of trauma from dating
out of state because the last guy I dated out of state he had a
baby on me. So let me tell you. Right, So, we
were in a relationship. This is one of like the high school things that
I don't really count, though technically it was like my first or second year
out of high school. But he was in college. He went to college
in Florida. Right Now, I've known this man since I was like fifteen
sixteen, right, and we had been an off agatting relationship since we were
fifteen sixteen. Right. So he's in Florida and he's having the time of
his life, but he's he's making time for me, he's checking in,
he's doing the right thing. When I call, he answers, we cupkicking,
falling asleep on the phone, X, Y and Z. Right.
So, one day he posted a picture on Facebook with his shirt off and
he had a tattoo on his chest that says, give me another name because
I don't want to say the real name. It's randomly, okay, okay,
so we're gonna do ko. So randomly, one day he posts a
picture on Facebook with his shirt off and he has a brand new tattoo on
his chest that says Caleb, And I'm like, who the fuck is Caleb?
Right, So immediately I call him, and I'm like, is he
gay? Right? So I call him like, Yo, who the fuck
is Caleb this? Nigga says, Oh, that's my alter ego, And
I just wanted to pay respect to becoming the real man and being honest.
Swimming boy, if you don't get your boys, what what? Honestly,
at this point, I do you tell me he was gay? Because what
that don't even make sense. I've known you since you were fifteen sixteen.
You've never had an alter ego. You've never had an alter ego. Nigga?
What right? So then like two weeks later, he came out and
told me he had a baby. Not only did he have a baby,
it was no baby on the way, the baby was here and the baby's
name is now tat too you on the chest. So yeah, I don't
know. I probably probably would be able to successfully date long distance or out
of state. I'm just gonna have to talk to the lady about it first.
I still got a few things to work out. Yes, shut why,
thank you for apologizing, though, thank you, clever. Corey says
alter ego Clark can't ask nigga yo exactly. JX Anthony says, Man said
it's tip versus tip. Hey, definitely hit me with the stip verse tip,
like, what what? What in the world. W DZ seven five
says long distance relationships don't really work very well. I'm not gonna say that.
I'm just gonna say I had a bad experience, that's all. I
had a bad experience dating long distance because a man had a baby on me.
That's it. I rob at On one says that man is movie character
level different. Oh, I agree, I agree. I feel like everyone
that encountered, like everyone that enters my life, has to be some level
of outrageous for them to fit in. Outfit says you've been having threesomes and
didn't even know it right, met him and Caleb his alter ego exactly exactly.
So yeah, that was it. That was my first one. How
much aim you gotta let shot? Let me go to the live? I
saw y'all have put some questions in here. I'm sorry, I'd be trying
to get to the questions first because scrolling through takes so much longer. Question
from the stories, where's the questions from the live? Uh uh? Sorry,
y'all. All of these are questions from the stories. But I saw
like three people put in new questions from the live, but it's not like
filtered that way, so I can't really see them. I don't know,
y'all. Hold on, I'm trying, God, dang it, it's not
Oh, okay, okay, whatever, I'll just go to the other ones
I had already pretty picked out. So the next one says, uh,
what's the scariest thing about marriage to you? Y'all? Hear me out right,
because I know I noticed going sound crazy. Just just let me get
it all off first. Let me get my shit off first. Okay.
The scariest thing about marriage is I don't know if I'm going to be able
to find somebody who's as locked in as me. And the reason I say
that is because, Yo, I'm trying to do a bid Like when I
get married, I mean like forever ever, right, And when I say
that, it means which means, yo, like the first time my man
cheat on me, I'm not leaving. I know, I know, and
I'm not leaving because when I say I'm in this forever with you, when
I say I'm down for better or for worse, for richer, for poor,
That's what I mean. And honestly, the first time my man cheats
on me, that's for worse and the first time I'm going to stick through
that shit. Now, if you choose to be a dickhead and use it
as like something a whole past, like early on in a relationship, that's
on you, my brother. Like, but I know that for a fact,
I'm going to actively try to save my marriage because I'm trying to do
a bid I'm trying to do forever. Now. With that being said,
I'm also going to take the proper tools to make sure I'm picking somebody who's
worthy of that. Like I want to go to marriage counseling. I want
to make sure we have the same views on religion, families, children,
I want to make sure the alignment is there right. But sometimes I'm like,
damn, am I gonna find somebody who's as serious about marriage as I
am in this society, in today's society doesn't exist. I don't know.
I hope so, I hope so. But that's really one of the scariest
things about marriage to me, Like I don't want I'm fearful that I won't
be able to find somebody who's as locked in as I am. Like,
Yo, you're really trying to love me forever, like forever ever, liked
you're trying to let me through my minna Bulla's baby, Like what's up?
Cause I'm gonna love you through that, ed, But can you love me
through the metal bals? Like what's up? What's up? Are we locked
in? Or no? Like? Right, Like I can be that for
you. I go to the gas station, get you a honeypack. I
can do that for you. What's up? You want me to get the
right no pills? What you need, babe? What you need? I
don't know. I've never I've never done it. But like I'm just saying,
like I really want to make sure I'm finding somebody who's willing to love
me through richer, through poor, through better or the worse, because I'm
definitely down to do that for somebody else. But the scariest thing is like,
damn, am I gonna find it? Am I gonna find it?
Now? I know a lot of y'all are like, oh, well,
if you're willing to stay with a man who cheats on you, like you're
dumb and that's just on you. And it's like no, like love is
not perfect, like and if you go into it with a stigma or like
a thought process of like yo, like it's going to automatically fail, it's
going to fail. I'm going in with the thought process of it might be
tough, but I'm willing to stick it out, Like I don't look at
it. A's all. I'm giving my man permission to scheet on me.
No, I'm saying it might be tough, but I'm gonna stick it out
now as a caveat. Okay, I do want, like you know,
a prenup and not for me, for him, for us rather, And
I don't mind signing a prenup, but I do want to make sure that
there's some type of like you know, infidelity, Claus Right, you can
cheat on me one time, or we can work it out and we can
figure out thing's gonna go. But maybe that second time, I'm taking half
of everything you have. Okay. Now, I don't want to be full
of myself when I say the same thing can apply for you if you find
out I cheated, you know, maybe a second time you could take half
of what I got. But I really now ain't gonna do that shit.
I'm locked in, Okay, I'm locked in. Okay, I'm gorilla glue
locked in Okay, so yeah, I don't know. I just hope I
can find somebody who's doing the same shit as me. Hands On fifteen said,
come home, stink, say y'all be doing y'all, it'd be y'all
okay. Overwatch two three says where I sign everyday. Doctor three says I
believe in that love Insurance new Fast says it's worse things than your man cheating
on you. Laugh now, cry later says, no, don't embarrass me.
I won't embarrass you is the only rule. Ty Grind says, just
don't cheat on me and we locked in forever. Scotland seventy eight says we
all have problems the kids. To find someone who's crazy you can deal with,
and vice versa. Exactly Outfit says love is blissful insanity. I believe
that. J Mack the insurance man says love is not perfect and it's never
going to be. I agree. Hence fifteen said, I just need that
any right now. I hope my dig balance don't change that soon. Y'all
gotta relax. Cool five six four four says did you do it to your
past relationship that you know that you are locked in now for your next relationship,
Like, did I have like the free cheating thing? No? No,
no no. My last relationship I had not going to talk to the
lake. So I had a lot of fucked up ideals and values from back
then. A lot of that has not carried over my last relationship. I
knew I wanted to be married, but I can honestly say in my last
relationship, I wasn't. I didn't have the strength or stamina to endure everything
that comes with love, which is what I have now. So that's why
I say, like, yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna be able
to find somebody that's locked in, you know what I mean. Ty Grind
said, that's forever ever. Kung Stu says, we out here, big
storm dog, let's be weird and nerdy together. I don't know, man,
I and I'm it's hard having these conversations without sounding like a pigmy.
It's like, no, I just I just I view love on a higher
level now, and I just don't know if I'm gonna find somebody who's willing
to stick shit out with me like that. Because when you go on the
internet, it's like yo, Nigga's breaking up over like in a Facebook post,
Like what what? This is what I have to choose from? Like
that's what I'm saying, Like I be scared. I be scared. I
don't know. But along with that, I've learned and that what I have
to offer is valuable as fuck. And the goal is to settle down,
not settle So if I have to wait or if it doesn't come, I'm
fine with that because I know the capacity in which I want to love,
and if it can't be reciprocated, that's cool. I'd rather do without.
That's it. That's it, and that's all all right, y'all. So
let's recap today's events. First, I can't fish myself. I went on
a date with somebody who I didn't know what was going on a date with.
I can't fish myself. Next, whoever's going around telling people that I
have a man, Your mom's a whore, okay, fellows, I'll be
worrying about the wrong things. Quickst way to get a woman's attention is to
smell good. Don't call me on ig ever, period unless you're waining Brady.
If you want to be poly, that's fine. If you want to
be non monogamous. That's fine. Just leave us monogamous folk to fuck alone.
It's easy to show a man that you both can be dogs. It's
harder to show you a real lesson. Again, you don't really want to
do that shit. If you have friends of the opposite sex and they don't
want to hear about the people that you're dating, they're not actually your friend.
I'm still single because you know I'm nasty, because I can't fuck with
everybody. Okay, Thanksgiving packages available now, Okay, I'm gonna put it
up on my website. Book with me now, all right, And yeah,
scariest thing about marriage to me is that I'm not gonna find somebody capable
or willing to love in my capacity. And I don't know if I would
ever entertain the situation how to state again, I definitely have to talk to
the lady first about it. Thank you got so much. Follow me on
the Gram at Stormy p p EA at Chocolate Chip and Sip And if you
don't remember anything else, please remember can't fuck with everybody. I love you,
guys. I set Yeah,