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We're going to start off the Minnesota. Goodbye with this, it says,

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sorry for this being so late.
I moved on it went on a leave

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of absence from work. I'm fixing
up organizing my condo. Thus have been

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super busy, but I wanted to
express my favorite thing about each member of

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the Morning show. Dave, I
love how fair you are, even when

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you don't agree with someone's perspective.
You are willing to listen and have an

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open mind. You don't judge views
that are different from yours. Well,

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thank you very much. That is
from Annie. Drake your night, nat

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how do you say it night?
Naivete? Okay, naivete, naivete,

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I think I had naivete. I
don't know. Nativity. Drake your Nativity

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and good humor okay, good humor
charming and keep us older people l ol

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from being too cynical or jaded.
Fallon, Dave, Naivete, I think

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you're right. Let's not get stuck
on that, Falon, Let's move on.

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Fallon. You are so self deprecating, not afraid to poke fun at

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yourself. Not many people are brave
enough to do that. Jenny, you

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are so compassionate and empathetic. And
very open with your struggles about mental health.

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It is helpful to those of us
going through that same battle. Lastly,

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I was inspired by Dave and his
success with Livia, so I joined

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the program on Monday. I'm on
day two and it's been a bit rough,

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but I'm determined to follow through and
become more healthy. Wish me luck,

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good luck. You all continue to
be my favorite unfiltered, hilarious radio

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people. Keep on being fantastic.
That's Annie and Roseville, Minnesota. So

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thank you Annie, appreciate that.
Here are some other new ones. Let's

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try this one. My name's Tiffany. I've got a two year old.

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Our second baby is due this summer. We had a big virtual baby shower

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for our first kids since I was
pregnant during COVID. Friends, family treated

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as well and helped us talk up
on so much. We're thankful for their

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generosity. So, in the age
of baby sprinkles, is this a thing

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as opposed to a shower? It's
a baby sprinkle. I think if it's

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like you're not your first when they
call it okay, we are hoping someone

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would offer us a baby sprinkle.
So far, no one has come forward.

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While we have the main items that
we can reuse, like clothes,

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stroll or car seat. There are
things that we need for the second kid.

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For instance, our toddler is still
sleeping in the crib and we are

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more than happy to keep them there
as long as possible, which we need.

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We need a second crib, mattress, betting for the baby, second

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rocking chair, second packing play,
second hatch, an upgraded monitor with two

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cameras, and the course diapers and
name a few. And I would just

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love to get one of those fancy
stroller wagons, but those are big money.

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And yes, I know we can
get some of those on marketplace for

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cheaper, but we don't want everything
secondhand. We did create registries so we

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can take advantage of the fifteen percent
discounts that will help us save the money.

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So the question is can we approach
someone to ask for a sprinkle or

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is that poor etiquette? Should we
care about etiquette? In this economy we

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are about to become daycare broke.
It would be so helpful if even an

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email could go out that says something
like no pressure, but if you would

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like to help mom and dad purchase
the additional things they need, feel free

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to send a gift card to Target
or Amazon, thoughts and advice from her

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favorite radio friends. My first opinion
is, no, you don't get to

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do that. Nobody's your baby.
Is only your responsibility. But I will

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let Fallon answer this one. I'm
gonna I'm gonna be honest with you.

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Fallon right now has an aghast look
on her face. She looks aghast,

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So vocalize your thoughts, your feelings. I want to be respectful of you

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because but I am like I honestly
at one point thought this was a joke.

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I feel bad saying that you want
everything new. I'm sorry. Then

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she says she'll take something secondhand.
But you're right. She did say we

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don't want everything. She said,
I want one of those big fancy strollers,

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but I'll take something secondhand. I
honestly thought it was a joke,

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and so I feel bad because at
first I was like, Okay, hilarious,

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and no, I realize she's serious. No, you can't ask someone

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to do that. That's a lot
people spend a ton of money throwing baby

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showers and sprinkles, and I feel
like that is I mean, you can

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do what you want, but I
would be really surprised if my friend asked

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me to throw the miss sprinkle after
you've had a baby shower. And it's

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kind of like, yeah, daycare
is going to be expensive, but you

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knew that going into having a second
kid. You knew having a second kid

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would mean doubling up on all of
these things. So I mean, at

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the end of the day, it
cheer decision. I feel bad. I

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don't want this on the podcast because
I feel like I'm going to get ripped

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for no I know. And I'm
glad you said it because I want you

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to be honest because a lot of
the time, I'm glad that you are

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opinionated because there is your firm answer. And I don't want to rip on

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you, Tiffany to all because I
think you're obviously a good person. Yeah

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congratulations, and you want to be
a good mom, you want to be

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good parents, want great that you
want the best for your kids, like

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we all do. I get that
it is expensive. I don't have two

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kids of this same time. I
know a lot of people that are kind

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of like you, and they had
a baby and so they did have to

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like they didn't want to buy a
second crib, so they did boot the

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toddler out of that crib, and
it sucked because they didn't want to do

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that. But I have multiple friends
that have had to do that because yeah,

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they didn't want to buy a second
crib. Well, I get it.

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I'm gonna only tell you that we
grew up without my sister, my

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mom. My dad was in the
Air Force, and you get basically groceries

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in a place to stay, and
that's really all you get in the Air

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Force. You don't get you don't
get paid a lot of money. My

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sister, Sharon, mis sister Vivian
slept slept in a dresser drawer. Off.

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Sorry, I feel bad. It's
Scott, You're like the most popular

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person I've ever lived, David.
It is they slept in a dresser drawer.

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And I'm not saying put your baby
in a dresser drawer, but I

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will. I will say that.
Yeah, I understand, but I'm going

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to leave it up to fallon.
She says no, So I think no.

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I don't know, Jenny. Would
you if you had a friend reach

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out and ask you to throw a
sprinkle? It'd be more like for something

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someone would ask you. Probably,
Yeah, I would. I would say

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no, and I'd be realistic with
them. I pretty much agree with everything

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FOUND has been saying, and I
also was a little shocked by some of

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the things that were said. And
are we still on the same email store

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I had to talk to engineering for
a second. No, I would probably

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be as nice as I could.
I would probably feel guilty and still get

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them some sort of a present.
At that point, they'd said, yeah,

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yeah, but no, I mean, my sister is on her third

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child and there was one baby shower
and if she I mean, I've got

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her kids presents every time she has
a new child, and like stuff like

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that. But yeah, yeah,
I'm gonna go on to another baby oriented

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topic. I don't think that the
cautious mom in the grocery store. Yesterday

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we read a very detailed email about
a woman's routine before going to the grocery

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store and how she puts her kids
safely into the car and blah blah blah.

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I don't think that cautious mom in
the grocery store is crazy. But

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I do it differently. I've drilled
into my husband, you do not load

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the groceries first, you load our
children. I put all three kids in

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the same door of the car,
asap, close the door behind me,

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lock it. Then I bundle them
all in, Buckle them all in,

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leave the car, lock the doors, load the groceries, put the card

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away. I feel like a person
would wait for you to turn away while

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loading groceries to snatch a kid and
then try to break into a lock vehicle

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and take a buckled kid out of
the car seat. I'd rather are two

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hundred dollars groceries be taken. That's
my routine though, And I'm just paranoid

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about my kids safety wherever I go. I don't blame you. Yeah,

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the good news is about kidnapping random
children, It virtually never happens. I

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mean, whenever a child is missing, it's almost always the other parent or

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a family member. You see,
the amber almost always is like dad,

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I mean literally every single time,
thankfully. I mean, of course they're

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gonna be exceptions. Okay, so
then we're gonna get into some of the

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things responses that we talked about yesterday
on the podcast. So we'll start off

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with this one. I really enjoyed
your podcast about mental health and mental strength

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and wanted to give my input.
I actually emailed in a couple of weeks

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ago about needing to go to impatient
treatment for addiction and not knowing what to

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do with my cats. The information
from other listeners are very helpful, so

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thank you. I believe our mental
health is what carries us through day to

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day, while mental strength is what
we carry in our reserves in case our

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mental health weakens or even fails.
If our mental health is poor, we

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may have little to know mental strength, therefore making us susceptible to using poor

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coping skills like drugs or alcohol to
get through the day. Our mental health

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needs to be taken care of daily
in order to build mental strength. If

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we don't take time to care for
our mental health, our mental strength becomes

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like the gas gage in our car. It gets lower and lower until it

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gets empty. My own mental strength
is a work in progress. And they

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go on for a little bit about
some of their history, and you know

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they've had some issues, etc.
I want to thank you all for being

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a big part of my life.
Both my parents passed away years ago,

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and I'm as strange from my siblings. I don't have many friends, so

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I lack support. You will become
sort of my surrogate family and have gotten

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me through some really difficult times you
have given me mental strength when I had

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none. I am eternally grateful,
loyal listener, Jacqueline. You may use

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my name Jacqueline. That means a
lot. I you know, I think

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that's one of the things about our
show, and we consciously make an effort

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to be supportive and to help you
out. And that's why I do Motivational

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Monday, and that's why I wrote
my book, is to kind of help

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you through some of the hard times. And once in a while I have

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a realization. So the other day
I had a realization that I and it

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works for me to build my mental
strength, and I talked about it on

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the show yesterday about how, you
know, we build our bodies and we

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work out, we go to the
January, do cardio to build our physical

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strength. So I think there are
certain things we can do to build our

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mental strength. But at the same
time, sometimes it does become tapped out.

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Ye, So but I think that
you need to work. You know,

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I'm not an expert, obviously,
but I think that working on my

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mental strength is definitely helping me.
Hello to my favorite radio star, says

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Carrie. Thank you, Dave.
You spoke about mental strength on the Minnesota,

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goodbye, and I had to st
myself from pulling over on the highway

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to get out of my car and
give you a proper standing ovation. Thank

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you for your statements. I could
elaborate, but it would turn into a

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very long email. I just want
to say I appreciate what you said,

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and I hope more people feel encouraged
to build their mental strength. Yes,

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it is normal to feel some anxiety, or some sadness or some discomfort at

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certain points in life, and it
is important that we push ourselves to confront

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and get through those times uncome out
stronger and more resilient. In the words

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of who was it that does it? Kelly Clarkson, what doesn't kill me

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makes me stronger. I love listening
to you all, and I compose about

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ten emails a day to each of
you in my head. Lucky for you,

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I don't have time to type and
send them all. Thanks for all

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you do for listeners, you have
a huge impact on many lives. Thank

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you. Carry that is very kind. Not everybody agreed with me about the

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mental strength thing. So here we
go. I'd like to start by saying

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you're amazing a huge part of our
daily lives. I have not missed a

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show in at least five years,
and I get concerned when your podcasts are

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not up by ten fifteen. Lol. My reason for writing is the whole

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conversation about mental health and Dave's concept
of mental strength. I appreciate the idea,

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but really, mental health is not
always a negative. Mental strength,

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as you put it, is literally
just having good mental health and the emotional

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capacity to recognize that a lot of
people do not have that, and it's

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never as simple as get off the
couch. The examples you gave of mental

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strength were coping and avoidance mechanisms,
powering through something with a run instead of

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addressing the real issue is not good
and going into issues like suck it up,

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I've been through worse, or you
could have it worse isn't healthy.

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Taking care of your mental health is
one of the sexiest things a person can

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do. Dartlick, of course,
and you need to invite everyone to eat

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ass again too. That's from Brandon. Did we invite everybody to eat ass?

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I don't remember. We must have. It might have been that same

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episode. I don't know. You
know what I think, Brandon, I

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think what works for some people doesn't
work for others, and some people like

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I would really avoid being I was
on prozac twenty five years ago because I

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was engaged and then we broke up
and I thought, oh, prozac would

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help. So my doctor, I
didn't even notice an effect, didn't even

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notice an effect from project Why don't
you stay on it? I don't remember

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much. They always say to do
it, like if you do it,

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you have to wait for like,
which is hard because if you're going through

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depression or anxiety, you want to
stop immediately, and even if they give

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you medication like, oh, it
could take like six weeks to eight weeks

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too, and you're like, I
don't want to wait that long to quote

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unquote you know feel better. I
did klonopin about well, it doesn't matter,

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but in my past I did klonopin
because of anxiety and clonopin. You

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don't wait, You wait fifteen minutes
and you can actually feel the anxiety melt

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away. I remember you talking about
that being like this is dangerous. It

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is, yeah, And I didn't
finish all my prescription and my doctor said,

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do a quarter of a pill or
a half a pill. You don't

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need a whole pill. And I
would get anxious on my way into work

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because I'd start thinking of things and
I would take it when I left Chanhassan.

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By the time I arrived in Saint
Louis Park twenty minutes later, it

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was melted away. And it was
weird because your brain did not And I

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am not encouraging klonopin at all,
but I will say that there were times

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when it really helped me get through
some stuff. Yeah, for sure.

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But my thing with them, and
I really do believe in the get off

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the couch is part of it.
For me. Motion equals emotion. I

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really believe that. And if you
sit on the couch in a slumpy position,

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your mind is going to feel more
depressed. So then you slump down

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a little bit more. Now you
feel more depressed. See you slump now

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you're laying down on the couch.
So I believe that getting up, telling

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yourself that you're strong is good for
your mental strength. But again, that

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works for me, it doesn't work
for everybody. So thank you, Brandon,

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appreciate that. Let's see here,
Okay, let's do this one new

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topic. I want to hear from
you guys, and what you think about

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this. How many dads struggled to
connect with their firstborn, and what did

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they do to develop that bond.
Dave, By the way, this is

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from a female, just in case
you're wondering for context. It's not from

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a dad. Dave. Did you
struggle to bond with your newborns? No?

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I did not. I loved them
all instantly. It was more getting

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used to a newborn, not bonding. I bonded with Carson right away because

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I remember after he was born,
he was struggling just a little bit to

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breathe, just a little not like
you know, ventilator, incubator or anything

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like that, just a little shoulders
were heaving, and he was having a

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little trouble breathing. In the nurse, you know, she'd have it,

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like delivered a million babies, and
she's like, oh, he's fine,

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And I'm like, okay, well, if she thinks he's fine, he's

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fine. But I bonded with that
little guy instantly because I just loved him

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so much. We had someone to
call on the other day. It was

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a gay couple, and he one
of the guys was concerned because the other

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dad didn't seem to be bonding imediately
against people are different that She goes on

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to say, we have a six
week old baby boy. My husband is

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struggling with the fact that he's not
connecting. We google that it sounds pretty

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common for dad's to not bond the
first six months. I found some suggestions

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on how to start improving that bond, but my husband doesn't even have the

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desire to do those things to develop
that bond. He will reluctantly because I

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ask, but I even feel bad
asking since it's obvious he doesn't want to.

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I'm going to say he's at fault
here. You gotta try harder,

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but I don't know what's stopping him
trying. And eventually it does come as

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my understanding when people don't have it
instantly. First couple of weeks seem good.

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Dad was excited about how cute the
baby is and smell them and would

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talk to him. But something switched
recently and I notice a major disconnect in

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my husband's efforts or desires to help
with the baby. Also, he is

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communicated and admitted that he doesn't really
feel anything and is more annoyed with the

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baby crying and pooping. I'm certain
they will be best buds eventually, but

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this initial struggle is difficult on all
three of us, and we'll get through

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it. But reaching out to my
radio crew for advice and similar situations.

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Let me know if you have any
thoughts on this one. I'm going to

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suggest that it might be a disconnect
with you the person who's writing his letter,

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and somehow he's almost taking it out
on the baby. Do you think

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that's possible, Like I feel a
disconnect with my partner, so therefore I

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don't feel connected with the baby.
My partner just hands. There are people,

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there'll be men I know that get
upset. They don't even realize.

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I think it's subconscious that they're not
getting any attention anymore. That could be

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it, right, and it's so
very I think subconscious thing because most adults

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don't like to admit, like I
need attention. You're not giving me enough

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attention, So it could be subconscious. Some people genuinely do not like certain

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stages of babies, and a lot
of people genuinely do not like the newborn.

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Once the baby becomes more like I
don't know, you know, chubby

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can set up by itself and things
like that, he might connect more.

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I do think he has to keep
trying. I think that's really crappy to

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put that on you. I think
it's good for him to be honest with

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his feelings to you. That like, those are his honest feelings that he's

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feeling. That's good that he's communicating
that with you. I don't think that's

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worrisome though. I think that I
don't know what the tips are. I

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don't know if it's him talking to
someone. It also could be discouraging.

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I think like when you feel like
you're not good at something, you know

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what I mean, you get down
on yourself. You don't even want to

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do it anymore. Like when I
think of me in middle school, I

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was so terrible at basketball, I'm
like, I don't want to do this.

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I suck at it, and you
start getting discouraged. Maybe he sees

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how natural it comes to you,
and he's feeling bad about himself and he's

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taking it out in that way.
So I don't know what the actual thing

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is. But maybe talking to someone
what help. I don't know, you

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know what. That's always a good
idea, so something and consider. But

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if he won't even try some of
the therapeutic methods to bond with the baby,

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then therapy might be an issue too, So that is it for the

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Minnesota Goodbye. We get a big
day ahead, gonna go clean up Highway

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seven, which we really it's kind
of like going to the gym. Yeah,

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you don't say, God, I'm
really looking forward to like picking up

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dirty diapers and bottles on the side
of Highway seven. But afterward you get

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done, you get in the car, the freeway looks shiny and pink and

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new. Yeah. Green probably would
be better than pink. Yeah, and

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you feel good about it. So
go do something today that's hard, but

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you'll feel good about it afterwards.
I'm on text of the show the other

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day. You weren't here, and
I'm sure it was a joke, but

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they said they drove past the Dave
Ryan Highway cleanup sign or whatever, and

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they said, and it was written
like this, and I saw two dogs

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doing the sex under It made me
laugh so hard because of how they worded

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it, and I was like,
I'm sure they didn't, but if they

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did, what are the odds they
saw two dogs doing the sex under our

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sign? I love it all right, Hey, thank you for listening to

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the Minnesota Goodbye feedback, new topics
comments, whatever you got, we would

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love to hear from you. The
email is the same Ryan Show at KDWB dot com

