We're going to start off the Minnesota. Goodbye with this, it says,
sorry for this being so late. I moved on it went on a leave
of absence from work. I'm fixing up organizing my condo. Thus have been
super busy, but I wanted to express my favorite thing about each member of
the Morning show. Dave, I love how fair you are, even when
you don't agree with someone's perspective. You are willing to listen and have an
open mind. You don't judge views that are different from yours. Well,
thank you very much. That is from Annie. Drake your night, nat
how do you say it night? Naivete? Okay, naivete, naivete,
I think I had naivete. I don't know. Nativity. Drake your Nativity
and good humor okay, good humor charming and keep us older people l ol
from being too cynical or jaded. Fallon, Dave, Naivete, I think
you're right. Let's not get stuck on that, Falon, Let's move on.
Fallon. You are so self deprecating, not afraid to poke fun at
yourself. Not many people are brave enough to do that. Jenny, you
are so compassionate and empathetic. And very open with your struggles about mental health.
It is helpful to those of us going through that same battle. Lastly,
I was inspired by Dave and his success with Livia, so I joined
the program on Monday. I'm on day two and it's been a bit rough,
but I'm determined to follow through and become more healthy. Wish me luck,
good luck. You all continue to be my favorite unfiltered, hilarious radio
people. Keep on being fantastic. That's Annie and Roseville, Minnesota. So
thank you Annie, appreciate that. Here are some other new ones. Let's
try this one. My name's Tiffany. I've got a two year old.
Our second baby is due this summer. We had a big virtual baby shower
for our first kids since I was pregnant during COVID. Friends, family treated
as well and helped us talk up on so much. We're thankful for their
generosity. So, in the age of baby sprinkles, is this a thing
as opposed to a shower? It's a baby sprinkle. I think if it's
like you're not your first when they call it okay, we are hoping someone
would offer us a baby sprinkle. So far, no one has come forward.
While we have the main items that we can reuse, like clothes,
stroll or car seat. There are things that we need for the second kid.
For instance, our toddler is still sleeping in the crib and we are
more than happy to keep them there as long as possible, which we need.
We need a second crib, mattress, betting for the baby, second
rocking chair, second packing play, second hatch, an upgraded monitor with two
cameras, and the course diapers and name a few. And I would just
love to get one of those fancy stroller wagons, but those are big money.
And yes, I know we can get some of those on marketplace for
cheaper, but we don't want everything secondhand. We did create registries so we
can take advantage of the fifteen percent discounts that will help us save the money.
So the question is can we approach someone to ask for a sprinkle or
is that poor etiquette? Should we care about etiquette? In this economy we
are about to become daycare broke. It would be so helpful if even an
email could go out that says something like no pressure, but if you would
like to help mom and dad purchase the additional things they need, feel free
to send a gift card to Target or Amazon, thoughts and advice from her
favorite radio friends. My first opinion is, no, you don't get to
do that. Nobody's your baby. Is only your responsibility. But I will
let Fallon answer this one. I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest with you.
Fallon right now has an aghast look on her face. She looks aghast,
So vocalize your thoughts, your feelings. I want to be respectful of you
because but I am like I honestly at one point thought this was a joke.
I feel bad saying that you want everything new. I'm sorry. Then
she says she'll take something secondhand. But you're right. She did say we
don't want everything. She said, I want one of those big fancy strollers,
but I'll take something secondhand. I honestly thought it was a joke,
and so I feel bad because at first I was like, Okay, hilarious,
and no, I realize she's serious. No, you can't ask someone
to do that. That's a lot people spend a ton of money throwing baby
showers and sprinkles, and I feel like that is I mean, you can
do what you want, but I would be really surprised if my friend asked
me to throw the miss sprinkle after you've had a baby shower. And it's
kind of like, yeah, daycare is going to be expensive, but you
knew that going into having a second kid. You knew having a second kid
would mean doubling up on all of these things. So I mean, at
the end of the day, it cheer decision. I feel bad. I
don't want this on the podcast because I feel like I'm going to get ripped
for no I know. And I'm glad you said it because I want you
to be honest because a lot of the time, I'm glad that you are
opinionated because there is your firm answer. And I don't want to rip on
you, Tiffany to all because I think you're obviously a good person. Yeah
congratulations, and you want to be a good mom, you want to be
good parents, want great that you want the best for your kids, like
we all do. I get that it is expensive. I don't have two
kids of this same time. I know a lot of people that are kind
of like you, and they had a baby and so they did have to
like they didn't want to buy a second crib, so they did boot the
toddler out of that crib, and it sucked because they didn't want to do
that. But I have multiple friends that have had to do that because yeah,
they didn't want to buy a second crib. Well, I get it.
I'm gonna only tell you that we grew up without my sister, my
mom. My dad was in the Air Force, and you get basically groceries
in a place to stay, and that's really all you get in the Air
Force. You don't get you don't get paid a lot of money. My
sister, Sharon, mis sister Vivian slept slept in a dresser drawer. Off.
Sorry, I feel bad. It's Scott, You're like the most popular
person I've ever lived, David. It is they slept in a dresser drawer.
And I'm not saying put your baby in a dresser drawer, but I
will. I will say that. Yeah, I understand, but I'm going
to leave it up to fallon. She says no, So I think no.
I don't know, Jenny. Would you if you had a friend reach
out and ask you to throw a sprinkle? It'd be more like for something
someone would ask you. Probably, Yeah, I would. I would say
no, and I'd be realistic with them. I pretty much agree with everything
FOUND has been saying, and I also was a little shocked by some of
the things that were said. And are we still on the same email store
I had to talk to engineering for a second. No, I would probably
be as nice as I could. I would probably feel guilty and still get
them some sort of a present. At that point, they'd said, yeah,
yeah, but no, I mean, my sister is on her third
child and there was one baby shower and if she I mean, I've got
her kids presents every time she has a new child, and like stuff like
that. But yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go on to another baby oriented
topic. I don't think that the cautious mom in the grocery store. Yesterday
we read a very detailed email about a woman's routine before going to the grocery
store and how she puts her kids safely into the car and blah blah blah.
I don't think that cautious mom in the grocery store is crazy. But
I do it differently. I've drilled into my husband, you do not load
the groceries first, you load our children. I put all three kids in
the same door of the car, asap, close the door behind me,
lock it. Then I bundle them all in, Buckle them all in,
leave the car, lock the doors, load the groceries, put the card
away. I feel like a person would wait for you to turn away while
loading groceries to snatch a kid and then try to break into a lock vehicle
and take a buckled kid out of the car seat. I'd rather are two
hundred dollars groceries be taken. That's my routine though, And I'm just paranoid
about my kids safety wherever I go. I don't blame you. Yeah,
the good news is about kidnapping random children, It virtually never happens. I
mean, whenever a child is missing, it's almost always the other parent or
a family member. You see, the amber almost always is like dad,
I mean literally every single time, thankfully. I mean, of course they're
gonna be exceptions. Okay, so then we're gonna get into some of the
things responses that we talked about yesterday on the podcast. So we'll start off
with this one. I really enjoyed your podcast about mental health and mental strength
and wanted to give my input. I actually emailed in a couple of weeks
ago about needing to go to impatient treatment for addiction and not knowing what to
do with my cats. The information from other listeners are very helpful, so
thank you. I believe our mental health is what carries us through day to
day, while mental strength is what we carry in our reserves in case our
mental health weakens or even fails. If our mental health is poor, we
may have little to know mental strength, therefore making us susceptible to using poor
coping skills like drugs or alcohol to get through the day. Our mental health
needs to be taken care of daily in order to build mental strength. If
we don't take time to care for our mental health, our mental strength becomes
like the gas gage in our car. It gets lower and lower until it
gets empty. My own mental strength is a work in progress. And they
go on for a little bit about some of their history, and you know
they've had some issues, etc. I want to thank you all for being
a big part of my life. Both my parents passed away years ago,
and I'm as strange from my siblings. I don't have many friends, so
I lack support. You will become sort of my surrogate family and have gotten
me through some really difficult times you have given me mental strength when I had
none. I am eternally grateful, loyal listener, Jacqueline. You may use
my name Jacqueline. That means a lot. I you know, I think
that's one of the things about our show, and we consciously make an effort
to be supportive and to help you out. And that's why I do Motivational
Monday, and that's why I wrote my book, is to kind of help
you through some of the hard times. And once in a while I have
a realization. So the other day I had a realization that I and it
works for me to build my mental strength, and I talked about it on
the show yesterday about how, you know, we build our bodies and we
work out, we go to the January, do cardio to build our physical
strength. So I think there are certain things we can do to build our
mental strength. But at the same time, sometimes it does become tapped out.
Ye, So but I think that you need to work. You know,
I'm not an expert, obviously, but I think that working on my
mental strength is definitely helping me. Hello to my favorite radio star, says
Carrie. Thank you, Dave. You spoke about mental strength on the Minnesota,
goodbye, and I had to st myself from pulling over on the highway
to get out of my car and give you a proper standing ovation. Thank
you for your statements. I could elaborate, but it would turn into a
very long email. I just want to say I appreciate what you said,
and I hope more people feel encouraged to build their mental strength. Yes,
it is normal to feel some anxiety, or some sadness or some discomfort at
certain points in life, and it is important that we push ourselves to confront
and get through those times uncome out stronger and more resilient. In the words
of who was it that does it? Kelly Clarkson, what doesn't kill me
makes me stronger. I love listening to you all, and I compose about
ten emails a day to each of you in my head. Lucky for you,
I don't have time to type and send them all. Thanks for all
you do for listeners, you have a huge impact on many lives. Thank
you. Carry that is very kind. Not everybody agreed with me about the
mental strength thing. So here we go. I'd like to start by saying
you're amazing a huge part of our daily lives. I have not missed a
show in at least five years, and I get concerned when your podcasts are
not up by ten fifteen. Lol. My reason for writing is the whole
conversation about mental health and Dave's concept of mental strength. I appreciate the idea,
but really, mental health is not always a negative. Mental strength,
as you put it, is literally just having good mental health and the emotional
capacity to recognize that a lot of people do not have that, and it's
never as simple as get off the couch. The examples you gave of mental
strength were coping and avoidance mechanisms, powering through something with a run instead of
addressing the real issue is not good and going into issues like suck it up,
I've been through worse, or you could have it worse isn't healthy.
Taking care of your mental health is one of the sexiest things a person can
do. Dartlick, of course, and you need to invite everyone to eat
ass again too. That's from Brandon. Did we invite everybody to eat ass?
I don't remember. We must have. It might have been that same
episode. I don't know. You know what I think, Brandon, I
think what works for some people doesn't work for others, and some people like
I would really avoid being I was on prozac twenty five years ago because I
was engaged and then we broke up and I thought, oh, prozac would
help. So my doctor, I didn't even notice an effect, didn't even
notice an effect from project Why don't you stay on it? I don't remember
much. They always say to do it, like if you do it,
you have to wait for like, which is hard because if you're going through
depression or anxiety, you want to stop immediately, and even if they give
you medication like, oh, it could take like six weeks to eight weeks
too, and you're like, I don't want to wait that long to quote
unquote you know feel better. I did klonopin about well, it doesn't matter,
but in my past I did klonopin because of anxiety and clonopin. You
don't wait, You wait fifteen minutes and you can actually feel the anxiety melt
away. I remember you talking about that being like this is dangerous. It
is, yeah, And I didn't finish all my prescription and my doctor said,
do a quarter of a pill or a half a pill. You don't
need a whole pill. And I would get anxious on my way into work
because I'd start thinking of things and I would take it when I left Chanhassan.
By the time I arrived in Saint Louis Park twenty minutes later, it
was melted away. And it was weird because your brain did not And I
am not encouraging klonopin at all, but I will say that there were times
when it really helped me get through some stuff. Yeah, for sure.
But my thing with them, and I really do believe in the get off
the couch is part of it. For me. Motion equals emotion. I
really believe that. And if you sit on the couch in a slumpy position,
your mind is going to feel more depressed. So then you slump down
a little bit more. Now you feel more depressed. See you slump now
you're laying down on the couch. So I believe that getting up, telling
yourself that you're strong is good for your mental strength. But again, that
works for me, it doesn't work for everybody. So thank you, Brandon,
appreciate that. Let's see here, Okay, let's do this one new
topic. I want to hear from you guys, and what you think about
this. How many dads struggled to connect with their firstborn, and what did
they do to develop that bond. Dave, By the way, this is
from a female, just in case you're wondering for context. It's not from
a dad. Dave. Did you struggle to bond with your newborns? No?
I did not. I loved them all instantly. It was more getting
used to a newborn, not bonding. I bonded with Carson right away because
I remember after he was born, he was struggling just a little bit to
breathe, just a little not like you know, ventilator, incubator or anything
like that, just a little shoulders were heaving, and he was having a
little trouble breathing. In the nurse, you know, she'd have it,
like delivered a million babies, and she's like, oh, he's fine,
And I'm like, okay, well, if she thinks he's fine, he's
fine. But I bonded with that little guy instantly because I just loved him
so much. We had someone to call on the other day. It was
a gay couple, and he one of the guys was concerned because the other
dad didn't seem to be bonding imediately against people are different that She goes on
to say, we have a six week old baby boy. My husband is
struggling with the fact that he's not connecting. We google that it sounds pretty
common for dad's to not bond the first six months. I found some suggestions
on how to start improving that bond, but my husband doesn't even have the
desire to do those things to develop that bond. He will reluctantly because I
ask, but I even feel bad asking since it's obvious he doesn't want to.
I'm going to say he's at fault here. You gotta try harder,
but I don't know what's stopping him trying. And eventually it does come as
my understanding when people don't have it instantly. First couple of weeks seem good.
Dad was excited about how cute the baby is and smell them and would
talk to him. But something switched recently and I notice a major disconnect in
my husband's efforts or desires to help with the baby. Also, he is
communicated and admitted that he doesn't really feel anything and is more annoyed with the
baby crying and pooping. I'm certain they will be best buds eventually, but
this initial struggle is difficult on all three of us, and we'll get through
it. But reaching out to my radio crew for advice and similar situations.
Let me know if you have any thoughts on this one. I'm going to
suggest that it might be a disconnect with you the person who's writing his letter,
and somehow he's almost taking it out on the baby. Do you think
that's possible, Like I feel a disconnect with my partner, so therefore I
don't feel connected with the baby. My partner just hands. There are people,
there'll be men I know that get upset. They don't even realize.
I think it's subconscious that they're not getting any attention anymore. That could be
it, right, and it's so very I think subconscious thing because most adults
don't like to admit, like I need attention. You're not giving me enough
attention, So it could be subconscious. Some people genuinely do not like certain
stages of babies, and a lot of people genuinely do not like the newborn.
Once the baby becomes more like I don't know, you know, chubby
can set up by itself and things like that, he might connect more.
I do think he has to keep trying. I think that's really crappy to
put that on you. I think it's good for him to be honest with
his feelings to you. That like, those are his honest feelings that he's
feeling. That's good that he's communicating that with you. I don't think that's
worrisome though. I think that I don't know what the tips are. I
don't know if it's him talking to someone. It also could be discouraging.
I think like when you feel like you're not good at something, you know
what I mean, you get down on yourself. You don't even want to
do it anymore. Like when I think of me in middle school, I
was so terrible at basketball, I'm like, I don't want to do this.
I suck at it, and you start getting discouraged. Maybe he sees
how natural it comes to you, and he's feeling bad about himself and he's
taking it out in that way. So I don't know what the actual thing
is. But maybe talking to someone what help. I don't know, you
know what. That's always a good idea, so something and consider. But
if he won't even try some of the therapeutic methods to bond with the baby,
then therapy might be an issue too, So that is it for the
Minnesota Goodbye. We get a big day ahead, gonna go clean up Highway
seven, which we really it's kind of like going to the gym. Yeah,
you don't say, God, I'm really looking forward to like picking up
dirty diapers and bottles on the side of Highway seven. But afterward you get
done, you get in the car, the freeway looks shiny and pink and
new. Yeah. Green probably would be better than pink. Yeah, and
you feel good about it. So go do something today that's hard, but
you'll feel good about it afterwards. I'm on text of the show the other
day. You weren't here, and I'm sure it was a joke, but
they said they drove past the Dave Ryan Highway cleanup sign or whatever, and
they said, and it was written like this, and I saw two dogs
doing the sex under It made me laugh so hard because of how they worded
it, and I was like, I'm sure they didn't, but if they
did, what are the odds they saw two dogs doing the sex under our
sign? I love it all right, Hey, thank you for listening to
the Minnesota Goodbye feedback, new topics comments, whatever you got, we would
love to hear from you. The email is the same Ryan Show at KDWB dot com