Super Hi you guys, welcome to Laura Cane after Dark. Thank you so
much, and it's a big deal to us. Thank you that you would
watch us or that you would listen. It really makes us feel great and
happy. Thank you. I'm Laura Cane. It now makes Laura feel warm
and tingly down there, I know now than I'm having feelings down there again.
I don't like I know. We'll get to this in a minute.
Eric Rimmers, my co host that are there is producer Brian Us. Having
sex is like so grotesque to him. It's like it's like if you think
of your parents having sex. I mean it's like you can't. You can't,
you can't go there. Same considering how often you talk about sex.
So I mean, I don't that much, do I do? I I
mean I don't. I haven't felt sexual and like, I don't know,
I want to say, like eight months, nine months, I've been feeling
like I have no sexual organs whatsoever. You don't know. It's hormones.
It's all hormones. It's like and it's antidepressants. You don't have any eggs,
I know, but don't have any sex. They're still in there.
They just don't produce eggs, and they still have feelings because now that I'm
off, I'm off one of my enterer pressens. I have three. Remember,
one is gone completely, the other one is down and almost gone.
I'm almost through this, I know, and you're so and I do really
real delight and I'm feeling tingling down there too. If you have a hot
girl summer, I don't want to know about it. I'm not. No,
that isn't I it's it would be a hot milf summer. Would just
be a milf summer. Oh, be a steamy hot I mean you've heard
that hot girl. We're gonna do a hot girl walk. My daughter's like,
oh, we're gonna go to the store and do a hot girl walk.
Or we're gonna have a dry desert summer. Well that was my winter
and fall. Now, no, it's all changing. It's going to be
let's not go there. We're gonna grow some. The more I talk,
the more the more disgusting. It's not. It's not Dusty. Anymore spects
you have in terms of the dating scene. Zero Dusty, but and Cobwebby.
I don't wanted to. I haven't had any feelings like that. But
you have a new I do have a new swiffer if you need me to
come over and like run it through. I don't want any that stuff going
on duster. Oh okay, awkward, now worry. I thought you needed
something. No, don't worry. This is how it happens on the podcast.
Um, so yeah, I'll stop talking about like that. I'll stop
talking about my sexual your private area. Yeah, because Brian will get up
and literally leave. No, I won't just make funny here his face initially
was it fell so far his face on the last podcast. No, on
this one. As soon as it started. When la actually, oh yeah,
this is the I don't know the sex rock. I was like,
but I did so much for a fortune. I better get back on bumble.
Oh no, god please, Well I have it. I don't pay
for it, but I have, like the the app. I just haven't
checked it months. Just get laid first. Gosh, I'm so scared to
do that though. Okay, well you know we could, but maybe I
should. Maybe you would be funny. I get so nervous about that.
Well, we could go onto alcohol and Boulevard and have signs that says like
last woman before the freeway accent like, oh you could you know what the
corner? Oh a little bit? How long does it take to get on
Tinder? Let me just ask you? Okay, how about you make me
a tender profile a whole show. No, that would make the whole show
if we did. No, I just want to see how long it would
take for someone to go thing and send you a dick pick? Yes,
yeah, oh not long. We'll do that next week. It used to
be as long as you're messaging on. Don't you have a tender account?
No? Oh? I never did Tinder? No, I never did Tinder.
I did Bumble, I did what was the other one before? Plenty
of Fish? I did? Brian? Brian, Yeah, I have I
have something for Laura. You're gonna love this. What's that right now?
Yeah, you're you're giving me something. I'm telling you something. It's a
joke. Oh god, okay, but let me befitting for what we're talking
about. Get my straight line face on, Laura Kane. What do you
call a girl without an asshole? A Barbie Doll single? Okay, even
Brian doesn't get it. Really wait, wait, what do you call a
girl without an asshole? H? Single? Meaning the guy is the asshole.
Oh yeah, it's not that goody. Sorry, I thought you were
like so like it's all about like the ass Now. I was like,
why would your ask to seek here? Why I didn't get it? I
was like, I thought it was a sexual thing. Do you mean that
joke was too highbrow for you? Too high brow? Excuse me? Please?
All right, we have a lot to talk about first before we get
into you. Didn't you You forgot to do something before we started the show,
talk about Lee. I have lipstick. Okay, ready, you have
a little bit of list. It's not it's the seal is flourish, Oh
my god, pleasewning. Can you imagine? Can you imagine if we did
it, if we were forced just per sound like I know, I know.
There was an ultimatum and somebody said, unless you have sex with Laura,
she will die. Oh god, of course she would do it.
Of course he will tell you the best funeral you have it, I mean
the best funeral. I was like, it'll be beautiful or it'll be like
Julia Robert's wedding and steel magnolias. Oh I got it. Can't even can
you imagine? Like we had to do it? We had to do it.
Where would we be, Well, you need the location, yeah,
like I need the scenario behind the dumpster. Yeah, we'd be in we'd
be in a big bed with the TV on. Okay, okay, and
then we'd be laughing so hard we would Yeah. I don't think you could
get her. I was asked, do you think you're being able to or
would I have to I'd have to help you or oh god, like in
the reverse scenario. I don't think I could. I don't think. I
don't think it could. I don't think you unless it's easy very long ago.
Do we not want to talk about go down this line? At the
same time, I feel like guys can also just like yeah, but no
can they? Yes? Yes? And no? I mean okay, just
pretend you had to have relations with somebody who you found like completely unattractive.
No, it's a girl. Oh maybe, Okay, well, no,
I think you're attractive. No, no, no, no, no,
this is young, not old. We're on to Brian. No. Oh,
this woman is somebody you would never you somebody Okay, somebody your mom's
age. No, let's just pretend you had to Well I know, but
let's pretend you had to you wouldn't be able to, would you? Oh?
Physically yes, I mean could you? Can? Guys do that?
They magically do that, some dudes, I'm sure can. I probably wouldn't
enjoy it that much like jiggalows have to, right, Oh first, sure,
but they probably get the the biagra. Oh yeah, I probably physically
could. I don't know. If I didn't joy probly wouldn't last. Well,
right, we don't need it. Yes that I don't need to know.
But maybe maybe maybe because I don't know, Okay, so maybe you
could. Okay, what about a guy who's in our twenty years older than
you? About? Yeah? Um, would I'd be able to? Uh
do? A guy two years older than year yet if he had a lot
of money in his bank account and he promised me a range rover just like
lallallah did in the beginning. He was going to get you like ten of
those egg chairs. Yeah, I could. Right, we are fifty rails
so far. This is not okay. I did not want to start this
way. I know I have a few announcements to make before we get to
it. What are your announcements? Is looking for saying? Oh my god,
oh my god, oh my god. Okay, we have our location
for our party. We do our four year anniversary Lorian Aftergarth. It's four
years when we started on your Yes on your Bed. Yes, it's been
four years since that day, I know. And it's August seventeenth. The
party, it's it's a Thursday night at six. The location Urban mose in
a Hillcrest. We couldn't have asked for a better location. I know,
so much seating and there's a stage, and there are TVs, and there's
the bar, and there's food. I mean twenty dollars at the door.
The money goes to charity, it does. It goes to the It goes
to a house I think it's called the Sunshine House that houses LGBTQ I A
plus I A plus youth who maybe have been kicked out of their home.
Yes, it's called Sunburst and it's center Youth housing and maybe they are HIV
positive and they're just they're in risk of being homeless. Anyway, it's gonna
help these young people. That's where the money's going because they're twenty bucks.
Twenty dollars at the door. You get a drag show. Yeah, two
performers, gigs. Wonder't even wait can't wait. And then we're going to
do the podcast live. We are, and we have something going on with
that, but we're not going to tell you yet. Oh my god,
Eric, you're on board though, I'm on board, but I'm nervous as
all get out. It's gonna be so good, you guys, just wait,
yes, wait, but anyway, save that date August seventeenth. Okay,
seating is at six and the show is at seven. Yes. I
would like to give a shout out to Lee's Auto Detailing. Oh my god,
your car looks amazing. Just the cup holders themselves were so heinous from
the dog hair and the stickiness. And then this is that, did you
find anything embarrassing in your car? Um? Did he know? Well,
everything that was under the seats and stuff you put in a bag and it's
in my back seat so I haven't looked through it yet, so I don't
know the answer to that question. I don't have those. So anyway,
he did a great job Lea's Auto Detailing. My car looks like a brand
new I've never gotten good for. And I would like his number because I
need to get mine detail. Oh my god, he's a he's the type
of guy that, he goes, you know what I told him? Not
every hair has to come out of this car. Don't worry about it,
because the dog's going right back in. He goes. I can't do that.
I will not do a subpar job. I will only do the kind
of job that I would want done onto my car. Yeah. I can't
do that. So I'm like, okay, thank you. So he's great
Lee's Auto Detailing. Will you give me his number? Yes? Okay,
yes, I will. Okay, So now, uh subscribe please if you
would to Instagram Laura Keane after Dark because you get special privileges for the party.
We'll let you know about that. You do, yes, so that'd
be good. Four ninety nine a month, super easy. We would love
it if you were a subscriber on YouTube as well, and that is free.
Okay. Now we need to do our sponsors. We want to do
our sponsors because they help this podcast happen. They keep all this Neeon going.
Oh my gosh, we have a new sponsor coming up in August,
and I've already bought her her own Neeon. Oh it's already here. Oh
is it here? I'll show too, Oh my god? Oh yeah,
yeah, well yeah, we're running out. I know I changed, I
moved. See I got love Wins is new. Yeskay I took I took
one of the ladies down. I'm gonna rearrange. We're gonna have a whole
new backdrop in August from now. We're gonna be a drag show. We
are going to have all I have. Actually, I have four new neons
that I haven't even put on a Yeah, we're going to put a new
backdrop. So we need to discuss that. What would look cool with the
neons and our sign. But this is boring stuff we need to talk about.
Are you are you snoring right now or were you what were you doing?
Grunting or growling? Restaurants let's go there. We'd like to welcome to
the podcast A lot restaurants, Oh my goodness locations. The first one is
the Full Restaurant, and that's located in Escondido. It is seventeen sixty East
Valley Parkway and is located in the Valley Plaza. And the other one is
in Old Town. It's in a food court on Congress and they serve a
lotus the corner, which is so dang good. Oh, forget about it.
Stuff potatoes, potatoes. It's so fun on Instagram Fine at Alotte Restaurant.
I am hungry already. We want you to mark September ninth, Saturday
on your calendar because we are going to be walking for a great cause.
The seventh annual Schedadle for Research happens at Crown Point at nine pm. I
will be the MC. Opening ceremonies are at eight thirty am. Register by
August eighteenth to guarantee that you get this year's T shirt. SCAD, or
spontaneous coronary artery dissection, is a little known cause of a heart attack.
Most patients are young, healthy and active women who do not have a typical
risk factor of heart disease. SCAT is the number one cause of heart attacks
and women under the age of fifty. This is very important, so go
to our website loricane after dark dot com to register. Everybody gets a metal.
It's going to be so much fun Loricane after dark dot com look for
the link River, get up, get yourself, get in their egg chair,
get yourself together and calm down. Eric, wheren't you going to ask
Laura something about her boots? Are you done? All you can? You
control it? Because we need to talk about something important. I know what
we need to talk about. Do you need a moment? Good? If
you guys go to www dot camp. All right, are talking. We're
talking about the man j Wart. Jay Wartzler is a money manager and Jay
Wartzler would love to help you manage your funds. Look, if you are
changing jobs. A lot of people have been changing jobs, like a lot
of my friends have been changing jobs. In fact, one of them actually
asked me the other day, like, I don't even know what to do
with my four one K Do I leave it where it's at? Should I
take out that money? Do I get taxed? Do I put it in?
Call? J Jay Wartzler is the perfect person for you to call.
He knows all this stuff, he does, owns all this stuff, thirty
five years in business and yes, it all starts with a phone call eight
five eight five five two six nine six zero. Yeah, you can email
him jayw a Capital growthing dot com. Okay, I have more to say
before you do the inevitable. Oh, I want you to know that if
you are also thinking about retirement, or maybe you're Brian's age and you're like,
someday I want to retire. You know what a forty five? You
need to start planning now. So I am retired? Are you at work
here? Talk to j Wartzler because that is his one of his specialties.
He is also a divorce money manager analysts, so if you are going through
a divorce unfortunately, he can help you divide the assets and figure out which
goes where. He is excellent, He is superb. He knows what he's
doing. The number again is eight five eight five five two six nine six
zero. But wait, there's more. What website? His website is www
dot Capitol crowthing dot com. And it's on our website too. In case
she missed any of this and you need to get ahold of Jake, she
probably do. If you have money and you want it to grow, Okay,
Laura Kane after dark dot com, it's down there, it is okay.
Is there anything else that we needed to talk about before my host chat?
Oh yeah, you had a question. Oh yes, what is your
shirt saying? My shirt says California? Man, how you see it?
California is a big state. That sounded rehearsed because it was rehearsed. Yeah,
I see, this is why I tell you guys, look save for
the air. Save for the air, because when we say something or you
wasted. Okay, I've got something for the air. Oh my god.
You know I thought of this about on our previous UM conversation or this pop
this episode earlier, this episode, this episode. Do you thought you guys
think you could get it on with a drag queen because it's kind of that
weird in between, No really know or like are you talking about or a
trans person or just a drag queen? Well, sometimes someone Laura wears too
much makeup. I totally could like in drag. Yes, no, I
couldn't. Maybe that's my key. Are there any straight guys to dude drag?
Is that mostly? Like? No? I think there's stag Yes,
there's straight guys that do gay porn there, yes, well you know there
are. They're you know, pay but that's not that's for the money though.
Yeah, I think that would be exciting to do somebody who's dress all
beautifully like a woman but has a penis. Would you I'd be into that.
So would you do it with someone then who was, like say,
transgender, but had a male appendage? Yeah, yes, okay, I
would. I am up for anything right, Well, you're gonna get really
lucky. A Eric flipped exactly flipped in both ways a man but with a
female appendage. No, Oa, he doesn't do that. That area,
the female area is not is. No boy, I'm scared of that area.
I know you are. One day never Oh no, what were you
gonna say? One day? You'll show me yours if I show you mine,
if you all like the details of what's No, I don't think I
could ever look like he. I don't think he does. He doesn't.
He didn't know he had three holes? What? Oh, he didn't.
He did not know that it had three holes? We had that a woman
has three Well, of course I did. You did not three holes?
The but the we, the we we in the mouth. No, see,
I told you he doesn't know what do I to? Hell? Yes,
the button, the vagina, Yeah, that's not a whole you're thinking,
Yes, say it is. The pea comes out of that, the
pa comes out. I was getting excited to thinking about the clarter is okay?
I meant, yes, that's what I meant. What I meant,
I'm just my mind is on other things. So you didn't know that we
have actually down there we have sure is wait, hold on, I have
questions I'm probably gonna have if I have nightmares tonight, I'm calling you first
and then calling Bran. A big vagina is going to so wait a minute.
So if you're in there, yes, like if a guy's in the
bear, okay, it can slip into a No, too small, it
could slip into the backside. Yeah, well uh yeah, that has happened.
But it's not on the front. But not the pea side. She's
not a whole. It's like it is too a whole. You're technically a
whole in a legal term, but it's not. It's not a pen.
If you look for okay, you won't find it. I would never even
you find not even with a map. Would I want to try and find
it? Or do you say I'm wrong when we say that women have three
holes down there? I mean I thought it was okay, I thought it
was milk milk lemonade round the corner fudges made. But that forget You forget
the vagina. That one no milk milk lemonade, that's round the corner fudges.
Yeah, you forgot the vagina. No, I forgot the mouth.
Oh that's what I don't know. If I can't, I can't with the
school line of question name, you are filthy. You took this episode straight
now I have the market explicit again, all of our should be marked explicit.
I know you're right because we do draw an F here and there.
You know I check you to the guidelines because I did, because I posted
the last two. I think we're okay. We think we still get wrong
ads as far as it. Yeah, I think we actually get full asked.
I think so too. I've read those two. Just gotta we have.
We might fudge it a tiny bit, but yeah, the most part,
we're pretty honest. I agree. I agree that we're not profane,
no, this one, this one, but it's if you're profane within the
very first line the first seven seconds, specifically seven second bomb, right,
and we didn't throw in one until a little later, right, they were
fine. Well, we didn't say an F word. We did last episode.
I think this one we might get limited because listen, oh you said
an F word. How good I am? I'm never I don't even know
anymore. I'm like, I never swear. Uh anyways, or my host
chat to have a question, and I have a survey. Oh boy,
if you were okay, pretend you are going to the grocery store. Okay,
you put on your socks and your shoes, your tennis shoes or your
sneakers. Pretend, okay, don't be difficult imagination. You run errand oh
I decide I'm gonna go to home goods now too. Check it out.
Da da da da um. Then you come home and maybe you go out
one more time to run it quick, errand come home, take off your
shoes and socks. Do you rewear the socks the next day? Would you,
in any case, rewear those socks that weren't worn all that shard?
Yeah? Yes, oh really, yeah, okay, that's not weird.
That's not weird. To socks are good until they smell? Is that true?
So? If so, what you're saying is that I thought you had
to just discard, not discard, got discard. I thought every time you
wore socks you had to change as well. No like, So what you're
saying is I get dressed, go to the store, put my shoes and
socks on, go to the store, come back. Don't I don't go
work out, I don't do anything. You're not working out I take my
socks off and then I have to run. No, you don't take the
socks off yet. Your shoes are still on until the end of the day.
Then you take it all off. Well if, oh yeah, I
know that, I would know, then I would. They're probably gonna smell,
so yeah, yeah, no, I would not wear him again.
I think your question. Is our socks good for multi day uses? Yes,
if you weren't for a full day, then probably no. Uh because
I did that the other day. Oh god, because socks. But they
didn't smell and I wasn't running around like a crazy person. Yeah, if
they don't smell, I feel like you can get a pass. Would you
do that with a pair of underwear? No, then I wouldn't do it
with socksy there end of the day. It could like socks are a whole
different animal than underwear. Yeah, well, but you can get sweaty.
I understand that. But if you're not, if you're not, whatever,
we answer the question. Now, I have a certain everything needs to be
squeaky clean. What job do you think is the most sexy job there is?
Death stripper? Oh, just wait, what's the sexiest job? The
sex experts at Love honey dot com by definition, we guess recently conducted several
s. Wait wait, wait, hold on, hold let me wait.
I'm getting Okay, I'm getting to don't don't tell what they are yet,
I promise. Wait let me guess real quick. They ask men and women
which professions they consider most sexually attractive. Okay, here are the results.
Okay, so can we guess? Okay, yeah, guess, I guess
the top ten sexiest professions according to women to women, what do we think?
Police officer? Yes, that's on their number one, that's number one,
you're right? Yeah, Um, lumberjack, no doctor, doctors on
there? Okay, forest services no, but you're getting there. Um,
a pool cleaner, a pool pool boy star, No stripper, magic mike,
no, dancing no, yes, lawyers on there? An artist no,
but a musician is on there. Okay. Um, and then Brian,
you were close. Farmer women think farmers are sexy? Really really?
Mechanic is on there okay, and paramedic okay, an electrician plumbers but that's
not an electrician. Plumbers not on here, although I dated the hottest plumber
that ever lived. Yes, oh my god, that was like how many
years ago? Ten? Yeah? My goodness. Yeah on the hottest Plumber.
Oh yeah, and it was fun. Yeah big he retrograde coming up
soon? Maybe it should well you know it, Yes, I know.
I think it has to happen to me that I don't think I should initiate.
You can definitely initiate it. He's married now I can figure it out.
Maybe just a flame just to make Oh I would, yes, you
would climb again, yes, yes, start you should text him and be
like, I'm all Tingling'll be a good idea. Oh my god, yeah,
oh my god. I want to google and see if he's single.
Oh yeah, google it? Yeah, or whatever. Facebook. I don't
know. I don't know what he's on. I don't think he's on any
of those. That's what's hot about him too, that he's not on social
media. I love not anyway that I was, but Plumber's not on there.
Okay, So now here are the top ten sexiest professions according to men.
Okay, women, Stripper, oh my god, no, no,
nurse. There's got to be nurse, yes, okay, Um, let
me think doctor yes okay, um, Therapist no, um, marista no,
um, there's an obvious one. You guys are really missing. Number
one Candy Graham. Wait, okay, danser teacher, teachers on there,
but it's not number one ballerina. Uh did you say singer? Yes,
I know you didn't singer. No singers on here. No actress, Yes,
that's on there. There's one that is glaring that you're missing. Stripper.
No, okay, not teacher, not doctor, not nurse. Teacher's
on there. Prostitute teacher, nurse is on there? Uh? Cop police
officers on there? Women? Yes, I don't think I'd be attracted to
a female police officer that. But isn't that kind of waitress? No?
But bartender's on there? Okay, prostitute this there's one that's weird and one
that's obvious. The obvious one yes, uh model No? What my god?
Um? Like what kind of a men and women can do this job?
But it's mainly women that do it. And it is you run into
this profession when you're going somewhere. Flight attendant that's not that OBUs must flight
attendant down days. I don't think they're all that. Um, will you
get well nowhere? Last ten times I've a plane, it's been older ladies
and gay guys. Which what do you fly it? Depends, and they
all have great chemistry with each other, but none of it seems all that
sexy. Well, anyway, it's number one on the list, and then
you miss made oh because they think that, oh yeah, they'll fluff more
than your towels. Yeah, that should have been like, you know,
massuse or something. Then, oh that would have been a good one.
Like not that you not that you would get a massage when she came home
from work. She'd be too tired to like hook you up, right true?
Yeah, but anyway, all right, break, So that's my host
chat. What's your host chat? Mister? Do you have one? Or
do I write in something else? I did? Come on, do you
have where's your book? I didn't write it down? Is it something that
happened to you? Yeah? Is it somewhere you went? Is something you
saw? Is it something? Yea? Sometimes I went to this restaurant really
good, the waitress was lovely. Yeah, it was just like it would
be the same thing. Oh I know what it was. Oh, okay,
I remember what it was. Did you hear on the news it was
It's been all over the news the last couple of days about the dad that
was arrested that killed his three kids. Yeah, no, shot them And
it was three four and seven. I think, what the hell was that
all about? They they they apprehended him. He had a gun, um,
a shotgun, and they apprehended him and then they let him. They
let him out of the cuffs because he said it they hurt and I'm like,
are you kidding me? He will die? Oh for sure, he'll
be killed in prison. But I was like, oh my god. And
then remember when we came back, um from lunch on Friday, and I
said, hey, be careful because at the top of your street there was
a bunch of police. Actually, did you hear about what happened? I
got it right up the street the Donus shop, Yeah, talk about it.
There were there were probably twenty police cars. There's a helicopter, a
armed Yeah, he went. He came in and was just being verbally abusive
to everybody. So the people that worked there from they're so sweet that people
of the Donut Stars, Oh, they're so nice. And um, I
guess they asked everybody to leave, Like they asked the patrons that were in
there to please leave, and the owners of the store. Yeah, okay,
that's what they said on the news. And then the guy. Good
of them. The guy wouldn't leave. He had a gun. Did he
have a gun or a sword? I heard he had he had he had
a gun. They said he had a sword and something else. Yeah,
yeah, thank god. Nobody was hurt. But it messed up. It
took forever to get together. Was unreal. Aren't you glad I had the
forethought to take the shortcut? Yeah? You were smart. The Hillcrest Starbucks
is closing two the one on fifth and Robinson. Yeah right there. No,
not not not at Falcon in the corner. Not not the one up
on fifth and Robin's nest y right there. No, that's right over there.
Oh my directions, it's that it's back that way. Yeah yeah,
yeah, pass it every day. I don't know why are our Starbucks across
the country closing? Is this a thing? Or maybe they get bought.
I think it has something to do with it. They're coming under fire for
the LGBTQ stuff. But they're all or pride, are they really? They're
not because they removed so corporations didn't really support or didn't really celebrate very pride
this year because it's been it's every year, it's gotten like in June.
In June, they didn't produced a pride month. Each year is getting more
blowback. So and Starbucks came under fire because they got caught their men.
They were telling managers to start taking down decorations like three days in. I
don't think that had anything to do with it. This one closing, I
heard there was blowback, but this is also hillcrests of It could have everything
to do with them being too there's a lot of scary people around. Let
me just look at up yeah, look at up. Well. And I
heard that they were This is what I heard some time back. I think
this might have been last year, is that they were closing underperforming stores.
Oh so, I mean because there's so many. I mean they're everywhere where
I live. There's three on one street. Really, Oh, it's due
to the ongoing homelessness crisis, that's what? Okay? Is that what it
is? They there's a lot going on there. We got I know,
what are you gonna do? What can we do? I mean, what
can we do? I feel so really want to get help, some don't,
Some want to be homeless. My take is that you definitely there definitely
needs to be a compassionate element to it, but there also needs to be
a this is like not cool element to it. Are breaking the law right?
Oh, for sure, there are those that do need help, and
there are resources for those people. They maybe need to be more available.
They're pretty available. They choose not to use them because they typically have to
be clean or you have to be willing to get clean, because you know,
a lot of the a lot of the shelters they have like you can't
be in there high on drugs or drunk or anything. So they're just like,
forget it, I'll just stay out. And like, uh, my
roommate Antonio, he was driving just on the neighborhood street right up on Goldfinch
guy taking to dump right on the sidewater, and they have They're in a
really tough spot in life. I just feel like, where are they supposed
to go? I just feel like I feel like just in the name of
compassion, kind of letting whatever happens happens is just not good for anybody,
for anybody. But I do think there are resources, but you know,
they're refusing to use them. In some cases, sometimes there's not enough resources.
But it's I mean, there's a multip you think that there is like
there we could build like a like a a tense city to house all of
them. Is the crime rate because they do a lot of times they do
go commit crimes for drug money or just money in general. It is you
know, it's really sad. I mean, like I just feel so much
more close to those people, considering like my situation the last couple of years.
I'm like, God, like I am a freaking paycheck away from possibly
I can see it. You know, we could have. It could very
well up into anybody really so. But the difference is if you were to
go homeless, there are resources available for you. Yeah, true, if
you were, if you were choosing to not do them because for whatever reason
that I would, Oh, well, so a little self inflicted, you're
kind of and then you know you're breaking into Starbucks to sleep, we know,
And this is I was talking with somebody about this just the other day.
Um, you know, because of what I do for a living.
Um, I know that. Um there was a big high rise downtown that
I had been a part of, and there was a section of the building
that was affordable housing, and people used to come to look at units,
and I mean they would pull up in range rovers decked head to toe in
like Gucci, Louis Vatan, Prada, and they were and I hate to
I don't mean to sound like ggit, but it was unbearable dealing with them
because they were using the system. And I was like, come on,
that's you know, oh you would be you would be shocked. It was
not. We have a very generous system and it gets taken advantage of far
for sure. Yeah. Like I don't want to say a blind eyes turned
to it, but yeah, nothing happens about it. Yeah, it's especially
during COVID. It's probably really Yeah, oh, money draining, I mean
yeah, I mean it's costing us. It's I mean, everyone talks about
our military's money, but actually welfare programs and or in taliment programs are biggest
spending in the entire country. Unbelievable. Yeah wow, yeah, Well,
anyway, let's talk about something more happy. Okay. Yeah, I hope
that you know, we can do it, because that's really sad that because
you're thinking there's all these people that are now going to be out of jobs.
Yeah, and because I don't know how Starbucks operates, but you don't
know if they're going to ship them to another if they're gonna say, well,
hey, this store is going to be open, we're hiring here,
or if they're just going to be out of jobs. I mean and remember,
like imagine, it wasn't a Starbucks, those like a little local mom
and pop shop. That's it. Yes, their life savings. They're probably
gonna be in debt from next couple of years because of that. Yeah,
that was everything they had. Yeah, so God, I want to go
go up to bed and put my head into the covers and just sleep.
You're depressing me. Let's make this happier. Okay. I have two things,
Yes, do you want me to do Rando News or do we want
to play two rounds only two of the confession game? The confession get it
out, let me get it out. You were I heard you? Okay.
There's this sex category, there's the relationship category. There's the I can't
read that money category. Okay, there's the family category, and then the
career. Okay, you have to answer your question or else you are banned
from this podcast for two weeks. Oh yeah, I'd love to see it.
Little rack to you do that? Okay? Okay, you know what
I'm gonna go first this time? Okay, sex. Oh boys, Okay,
we've already tucked about Laura. What do you find erotic in the workplace?
Oh? My god? Like, are we talking like at the station
traffic state? Like in the radio station. Is there anything that turns you
on at work? Yeah, maybe there's someone there, like all the knobs
on the control panel. To be completely honest, I do this frequently.
I still will walk down the hall and get super excited when I see the
station name on the side of the wall in the door and look in the
studios. It's still like you get aroused sexually. It just gets me so
excited. I just love radio so so much. No, doesn't mean I
mean I'm trying to like a sexual not career questions. I just love it.
I just know things get you aroused, not the name on the wall.
Jesus, you're a band for two weeks on this podcast, God's just
going to be Brian and I hosting it, all right. I can't can't
think of anything. Okay, quite, you can pick anything, any topic
topic relationships, because okay, I want to talk about, Brian, if
you had to redesign the institution of marriage, what would be the rules?
Oh? I cannot wait. This is a good one. If I had
to redesign the institution of marriage, I probably wouldn't change much. Um,
I might re look at divorce. Actually, I think divorce is rough.
I think men should get shafted sometimes on divorce I would say probably more than
sometimes, and sometimes I think it's justified. Sometimes I think it's not.
It's too much up to the discretion of the judge. Yeah, I've seen
some divorces it were men just absolutely get shafted. Okay, let's get back
to the marriage. The rules about marriage, that's part of marriage. Okay,
I wouldn't really I don't know if i'd really it's to any rules.
I think marriage works best and there's not that many rules. What about the
actual ceremony? Would there be anything you change about, like the wording of
anything, less ceremony, more after party. Yeah, so less wordy ceremony?
Uh huh? What about Okay, someday when you get married, are
you going to ride out vows and are they going to be short? Then
obviously I'll have to confer with my wife, Brian. I am going to
get ordained as a minister and I'm going to perform the ceremony. Would be
cool? Yeah, that'd be cool. That would be so cool. I
would be down with that. And well, can I do um? You
can watch the audience. You could be the flower girl. You can MC
it Eric grimmerfician for sure. All right, I'll be on the bike.
Okay, I'll see the whole thing. All right, all right, I
would be one career if you were braver? What would what would you be
doing with your life? Oh? Pause, this is good. Oh besides
porn? Um uh, I would wow, i'd be doing with my life.
I know what you'd be doing. I say it. What you'd want
to be in show biz? You want to be? Yeah, I was
just gonna say I would. Yeah, that would if you were a braver,
you freaking I would do that? Think I would. I'm very I'm
very shy, so I think I would clam up during an audition. Oh
yeah, but it's tough. Yeah they might. You might be perfect for
what they're looking for physically, though, you never know. True. It's
okay, bread, well, but we'll get braver. Yeah, okay,
mine is relationships. Okay, Laura Kane, which of your ex's would you
not mind hearing it had suffered some kind of a reversal reversal like getting back
together, or like wonder No, I'm sure like suffered some kind of a
reversal, like something bad had happened to me. No, or meaning like
they changed. Maybe they changed, maybe they changed the kind of person they
are, or maybe well to suffer. So I guess maybe they just change
their mind they didn't want to break up with you post too late, or
and so what was the first part of the question? Different makes sense?
Yeah, what are the worst sides of your partner? Well, well,
let's see he rolls in about five minutes before showtime. He he refuses to
change his shirt when I want him too for the next episode, I did
not refuse. I don't know. You're You're the closest thing I had to
a partner anyway, forget it. I'm not going to answer. Just roll
the damn dice. Who's relationships? Oh my god, this is a big
one tonight. What about you? Does your partner not understand Brian? Oh?
Um, just how magnificent you are? You're your silence? Maybe yeah,
I don't know. We don't understand any each other pretty well. Um,
I don't know. I've got some like nerdy things, like a big
fan of Indiana Jones and things like that. I mean, but I think
she understands it. She doesn't relate. I don't know. I don't know
if there's anything that truly just cannot understand. Um, do you lack a
little bit of emotion? Would she like to see you more emotion from you?
Oh? No, Well then why are you like that with me and
him? Because I'm in a relationship with you guys? Are you sure as
heck? Are the tiger thinking? Okay? Who's turned yours? She probably
would say emotion yeah, I s thank you? Oh see, I got
it y eight? Okay. Is the problem with infidelity that it hurts the
other person? Or is it bad in and of itself? I think is
that it hurts the other person. I'm gonna say both. I would say
both, but I would weigh in more than it hurts the other person another
one, I want another sex? Wait, what's your answer to that?
Um, it's just bad, it's in period. So both. So is
an ethical issue just the fact that it hurts somebody. But see, here's
here's the thing with infidelity. I think that if let's just say this,
it's not my thing. But um, let's just say there is a couple
that is they're very happy to Let's say, if they're an agreement relationship,
Yeah, if they have that agreement, yeah, be sure. I don't
know, but I don't there's anything I mean, I'm I'm personally not a
proponent of it because I think at some point someone's going to get for sure.
I think it is still wrong to a certain and not even just in
a religious sense. I think it just doesn't work right. I don't think
it works and I don't think that um, whatever your stance on it is
is fine. But if you're in a relationship with somebody, like a loving
relationship, I don't think you can be out there being intimate with other people
and just be like it doesn't mean anything. I agree, especially I not
to sound sachist, especially for women who have like where loyalty is kind of
ingrained in their biology. Yeah, also for men, and which is a
negative thing. It's I just don't buy it normally. I want to partake
in them, right because I'm when I'm in a relationship, chip, I'm
very loyal and I'm committed to that one person. So I'm not going to
be out fooling around and having sex with other people, and I would hope
that my partner wasn't either. Yeah, I've got a whole sides. I've
done it and it's been done to me, and it's crappy both ways.
It sucks. Yeah, you feel horrible. This is back in my drinking
days, it was. Yeah, I would never do it again. Well,
I mean I hope I would never do it again. I wouldn't want
to, but I have a clear mind now. But it's sure hurts when
it happens to you, for sure. I mean, god, not that
hurts worse than the right with whom is it not just revolting but a little
frightening to imagine having sex with? Is that yours? Yes? I just
read another one because Kathy Griffin, Oh, Hillary Clinton? Which one?
Which one is worse? Which one worse? Really? Yeah? Because there's
the idea if I disappoint her, she might have me killed. See.
I think Kathy Griffin was a really great for sure, but like I think
Kellary Clint would just be disappointed for me. It would be like what if
I, like I saw Tom Sandoval's band and I was just like, oh
my god, he's so hot, and then I got with him. That
would be really frightening and revolting. I'd be revolted in Yeah, I would
be revolted for you. Does that? Does that even answer the question?
I don't know what I'm what are we even talking about anymore? Not sure?
Ready? Okay, who's turn is it? I know it's two good
families? Family? So this is you just sex one no one once you're
about family? Okay, Oh my god? Who do you rather regret sleeping
with? You can't obviously say any names, but is there somebody that you
do? Oh? I was doing this for Brian? No pass? Oh
do I regret sleeping? Well? Do you do you regret sleeping with somebody
from your path? Yes? Well, yeah, we all have that definitely.
I could think about this guy in college. It was a one night
stand. Why one of my own? Because wait, sorry, is it
because it was a one night stand? Or is it there was like something
else? Well, it was in college. I was a freshman. It
was this fraternity guy. I brought him back to my apartment. We like
had sex. It was bad. He had a tiny ding dong I got
I remember that very clearly. I was drunk um. It was messy.
He didn't never called me again. You just I wish that never happened.
I wish that never ever happened. What stands out to you about it?
That was so bad? Tiny penis? So if you had a big it
would have been better. Yeah, I mean, like, so you regret
sleeping with a man with a small win there the smallest you could ever imagine.
And I'm sorry about that. Was it like thimble small? Okay?
Let me put it this way. It just bat You know, the little
cap that you put on whip cream. It could fit on that whip if
the top could fit on Are you kidding hard? Oh my god? For
him? Now? I feel bad. Of course. I don't even remember
his name. I knew his name. He's like remember kids, I said
with Laura Cane back in the game, jealous. He's on the radio right
now. Oh my god. If we gotta stop, we gotta stop.
Let's go, we gotta end this. Okay, bye, I'll do Rando
News next week. We have a lot of lots of stuff we had to
talk about this week. Thank you so much for watching, Thank you for
listening. You guys are great. We appreciate it. We love doing this
show, and thank you for We love you guys and August seventeenth, Market
down. Okay, Thursday night, It's already on my calendar, baby,
better be on your calendar. Doors open at six, show starts at seven
twenty bucks and I get there at seven thirty fashionable late. Oh no,
you know I'm the talent and you guys are driving. You don't even stress
me out already. Love your podcast. Where's the rest of the card.
I'll deal with it. Let me deal with it, jeez. But the
thing is, Oh my god, say it is what it's time? Say
what? Oh? I love you, I love you very much. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I do. That's great for you.
I'm happy for you, Brian. You're amazing. You guys are incredible.
Love your podcast, boys, let me by your podcast.