Hello everyone, Welcome back to another podcast episode. My name is Alicia Gogan,
the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you expand your
mind and become more self aware so that you can blow up into the best
version of yourself. Hi. If you're watching on YouTube, there is a
new background. Listen. We have things going on in this apartment. This
is not the final production, although I don't mind it. You know new
vibe. You can see my coffee table TV. My living room is very
minimal. I need to get a carpet still. You guys know, I
moved my makeup and like my desk more into the living room, but it
looks really put together. I feel like I just love this setup. I
know you can't really see too much of it, but follow me on Instagram
because I'm always posting, and lately I've been posting my mirror selfies in the
new mirror area and it looks brilliant. It's here. It's a little bit
of a rebrun but what I did. The reason why I'm the reason why
that I'm in my living room right now is because I need to make space
for my actual office where the studio is going to be. Because I did
purchase the chair, okay, and I got it custom blue, and I'm
really hoping that the blue that I get is like the proper baby blue,
the cloud blue, something similar to the color that I'm wearing in my podcast
photo. So for the time being, we will be in the living room.
I don't hate it. I do not hate it. If you're listening
on audio, then you know, maybe go check out the pod if you're
really interested and to see my living room, but you probably don't really care.
Also, just one more thing, I am wearing this long sleeve shirt
from Aloe. They did send it to me because I'm gonna be working with
them on a new project. But I gotta say this is snatching the body
where it needs to be snatched, and the color, the dark green,
is giving fall. So I don't know if you want it. I have
it linked on my light to know it. But we are not here to
talk about shirts today, are we. No, we are not. We
are here to talk about back to school season, because you know what,
I realize that just because I'm not going back to school doesn't mean y'all aren't
going back to school. And honestly, when I look at my analytics,
and I see your guys's age, and yes, I know how old you
guys are. Well, not really individually, I do not know how old
every single one of you guys are, but in general, my analytics tell
me the age group that listens to my podcasts, and I would say is
a pretty fifty fifty split between eighteen and twenty four and then like twenty four
to thirty four, so you know, we got the young ins love you
guys like eighteen years old? Wow, was I even listening? Yes,
I was listening to podcast when I was eighteen. But I love it.
I love that you guys are so interested in this kind of content, healing,
leveling up, going up into the best version of yourself at eighteen,
Like, girl, you really have it together more than you even think.
And even the ones who were older are like the thirty four year old.
I know there's older people who listen to my podcast too, which I'm also
just honored. I freaking love that so regardless. I posted on the Instagram,
not the Instagram, the podcast Instagram, the Globe Secrets podcast. If
you guys like pin, if you guys are really into Pinterest and like Pinterest
quotes, and just like I don't know, funny, cool aesthetic things.
Then definitely follow the podcast Instagram because it's just I don't know, it's fun
over there. But I do also ask all of the Q and A's on
there and all my Instagram sometimes and I just tell you guys to go somewhere
whatever. I ask you guys, what advice you need for back to school,
and a lot of you guys sent in questions, and you guys needed
advice, So we got to make a whole episode about this. Now,
this is definitely going to be for any age group, like the freshman's,
the ones who were just graduating, the ones who were going into college,
the ones who maybe took a few years off and they're going back to college
as a mature student. You guys had a lot of questions regarding balancing so
many things now that you're going back into the school year. Advice for when
it comes to friendships, obviously that's a thing, failing grades, being productive.
A few of you guys were asking about what to do when you're taking
a major that your parents are making you take. So I compiled a list,
of course in my notion. My notion, I freaking love notion.
I guess that's the first tip for your back to school get on notion.
Yeah. Anyways, I compiled a list and we're gonna go through them,
and I'm gonna give you my best advice. Listen, I've been in school
for I haven't sorry if you didn't hear that. I have not been in
school for a very long time. When my last program, I graduated in
twenty twenty nineteen, so it was the beginning of twenty nineteen, well not
the beginning, I should say springtime of twenty nineteen and then but you know
what, Okay, let me just let me know it. Let me completely
backtrack here and give you a little rundown of like my college experience in a
way, I'm not going to give everything because like I want to give you
guys the tips. So I right after high school, I went to Durham
College and I took special event planning and then I end up having to come
back home because your girl didn't have enough money. And that's the times where
things were rough back home with my mom as well. So I went back
home. I ended up working for like a year at Tim Horenn's and I
worked full time girl six to two six to two woke my ass up every
day at like five am. I grinded, I worked, and I just
I don't know. I was like eighteen at that point, and yeah,
eighteen years old. So I wasso trying to figure out what type of program
that I wanted to take. I was just trying to like make money and
get my car, get my license, all that kind of stuff. And
then I ended up going back to school I think the next year or something,
and I went to Georgian College. By the way, I'm from Barry,
Ontario, if anyone does not know. And so I went to Georgian
College, which was like in my hometown Berry, and I took what I
take, hospitality management for hotels and resorts. I don't really, I think
at that point, I just was like looking at different programs and I wanted,
like that sound interested to me, interesting to me. Sorry, I
had no idea about psychology. I had no idea about mindset work. I
was like just kind of starting like fitness and health like interested in that,
but I had no really idea of like like I was into self help,
yes, but I wasn't I didn't like correlate like that could be maybe something
that I pursue for a career, so like that was not even a thing
for me. I literally didn't even know that, Like you could go to
school for psychology in high school, Like nobody told me that, Like I
missed the memo on that one. But I digress. So I went to
school for hospitality management for hotels and resorts. I was like a two year
program. Learned business, learned how to manage resorts like hotels, all that
kind of stuff, got a lot of experience would honestly, it was like
a pretty well rounded course. But as I was in that course, I
started to get really into health and fitness. This is where like my self
development era had occurred, like full blown whatever, and so I kind of
knew honestly, by the time I was done that course, I didn't really
want to pursue like working in hospitality management. And then I got into hospitality
in terms of making money, like as a servant and things like that,
but I didn't really want to go any further than that. I didn't want
to go out west like most of the people in my program did. They
all went out West and they all worked at like the really beautiful hotels and
BAMF. I didn't have had no literally, you could not catch me out
in BAM for nothing. For nothing, I wanted to be like send me
out to Florida or something, but I wasn't going there, and so I
didn't really do much with that program. But throughout by the time I was
done in that program, I should say I got really into health and fitness,
and so I already was already pursuing another program, which was I ended
up being Workplaced Wellness and health Promotion, so that was kind of more aligned
to me, and I took that program as well. So that's when I
moved out to closer to Toronto and I took that course, and then I
got a job through co Op. And then as I was going as I
did my co op and I got into that job. This is now beginning
of like twenty nineteen, and then I got a full time position at a
tech company being a health and well as consultant. As I was doing that,
though, I started getting into like really getting into psychology and mental health
and stuff like that. And now I had always been into mental health like
way before I even took that, but I started to realize especially in the
fitness and health space, especially from my experience and working with other people that
it was so much meant it was like it was your mental health that was
the issue. It wasn't the fact that you don't know what to do in
the gym. So I kind of realized very quickly I didn't want to be
in that field, and so I was trying to figure out like what I
wanted to do. And in that moment in time, that's where my hand
pain occurred, which made me go deeper into mental health and understand more about
psychology and everything like that in my body connection. And then the pandemic happened,
and then I was still working at that job, but I was trying
to heal myself, so like I wasn't trying to pursue a new career because
I didn't even know if I could even start a new career. And I
definitely by the time I was out of all that my death and my rebirth,
I healed myself. And this is when COVID started like calming down a
little bit more and everyone was going back to work and I was still a
server by the way, and I was doing still working at the tech company.
I realized that I wanted to leave the tech company because it wasn't paying
me enough and this is not even what I wanted to pursue anyways, and
so I was like, you know what, I'll just grind it out.
I'll just bartend. I'm making way more money, and I will either consider
going back to school to do something in psychology field or I will Actually it
wasn't really an or. I was just considering, like do I want to
go back for another four to six years to become a psychologist or something,
or do I want to like see other routes, Like I was into sematic
therapy when I still am just life coaching in general, just coaching. I
took a lot of different like extra cool, that's not even the word.
I took a lot of courses outside of regular schooling. I spent a lot
of money learning about like it, took a bunch of stress resilience courses.
I obviously I got certified as a life coach, health coach, so many
coaches certifications you don't even need to be, but whatever, I took all
of these like extra things. So I was trying to figure out what I
wanted to do. And then this is when I was also starting my social
media and I just knew that I wanted to do social media and that was
going. I wasn't like I wasn't going to not go back to school,
but I just I knew that I wanted to do and share what I've learned
through my whole entire life on social media, and I didn't need to go
be a psychologist to do that. Like, that's totally fine, that can
share my story. I just say all that because I've gone through a lot
of different ebbs and flows. So I mean, maybe the first thing when
it comes to giving you advice is it's totally fine if you do not know
what you want to fully do. And I think that you'll just never fully
know until you start something and then you realize, oh I don't like this,
or oh I like this instead, and you kind of go wherever you
want. Even for me, like I'm a lifelong learner, I don't think
that I'll ever stop learning, whether that be traditional school or different programs that
I'm investing in outside of the actual school system, which I really not gonna
lie. I don't want to get too much into this, but I do
think that especially in Canada. I'm live in Canada. Do you think a
lot of the school systems have a lot of politics weaving themselves within a lot
of curriculum, and that's been one of the reasons why I haven't actually decided
to go back to school, because there's a lot of political things happening,
and so yeah, anyways, and also I'm just successful doing what I'm doing.
And but anyways, regardless, I will always be life long learner,
whether I go back to school or not, or take more certifications or not.
Whatever. So again, I say all that because I have definitely been
through the journey and I've had to go back. I've had to contemplate about
going back or deciding not to, or just dealing with all the things that
come with schooling. Schooling was such a huge part of my life only until
kind of recently, but it's still kind of is. But I think it's
important to talk about this because, yeah, schooling is going to be a
part of your life probably for a long time. So it's like, how
can we enjoy the process more? How can we not you know, only
love our lives when it's like two months of summer and then the rest we're
just dreading it because we hate what we're doing or we don't know how to
be productive, or we struggle with friends like all that kind of stuff,
Like we need to learn how to enjoy this because it's going to be a
part of our lives for a long time. And for me personally, education
is always going to be a part of my life and I don't want to
ever give that up. I actually love it, but I didn't love it
back in the day. I was really not It wasn't that I wasn't a
good student, but I you know what, we're going to talk about that
because somebody had asked about feeling like not smart enough and stuff, and that
was that was my experience in high school. I was not a good student
in a way. I was not getting good grades, I didn't understand anything.
Ever, I got pulled out of class to sit in those classes where
they gave you extra time, which ended up messing me up more because then
I was lost. When I got put back into classes, I also subconsciously
was told basically like I was not smart enough and I was dumb in a
way, and so that really affect the way that I tried to study and
understand things, and until I completely switched myself concept Honestly, this happened in
grade twelve. Instantly my grades got so much better, and then I was
really really good in college and I was like an A one student because I
applied myself simply and also changing how I viewed myself from somebody who is slow
and dumb to somebody who understands things. And it's fine if I need more
time, like and I'm not actually saying like not actually trying to call myself
dumb or slow, but like literally that's what I thought. So yeah,
anyways, let's get into the tips, because there's a lot. So somebody
had asked tips for freshman year of high school, so I'm to make freshman
year. Okay. So the thing is when we, like in Canada,
we don't really call each year like freshman, sophomore, whatever the other ones
are. We just call it like grade nine, grade ten, eleven,
and twelve, like that is high school nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
So I but I'm pretty sure freshman year would be like your first year.
I believe I could look that up, and I'm too lazy because I'm
reading off my notion. Whatever you're early in your school year, I already
know it understand that everyone everyone is in your shoes when you were starting out
somewhere new or like a new grade or whatever. Like everyone doesn't know what
the f they're doing. Everyone is scared and nervous. Everyone wants to do
really well. So just like embrace that. I feel like a lot of
the times it's like we demonize the fact that we feel afraid or we demonize
the fact that we're nervous, or like I shouldn't be nervous, and like
how do I be more confident? How do I like love this stuff?
But it's like, also embrace the fact that, yeah, I'm a little
nervous today, Like yeah, oh my god, we're all like walking through
school and like nobody really knows each other and everyone's trying to make friends and
this. That like just embrace that because I just feel like there's too much
pressure on yourself when you try and tell yourself like you shouldn't be nervous or
you shouldn't be in this like new era, like it's a new era.
Embrace that. I also think just being open is going to be very helpful
when you are starting anything off in a new year, a new school,
coming back to anything. Be open to friends, be open to listening,
be open to the teachers. Just be open. I think that it's really
going to help you be able to create networks and friendships and connections everything,
regardless of the goal is to have friendships or not, even when it comes
to good grades. Like I just being open with your energy is going to
be so important for you to actually be successful in school with friendships things like
that. One more thing is I think that you should detach from outcomes.
I think sometimes again we put a lot of pressure on ourselves, like when
we're starting a new year in school or high school, it's like, oh
my gosh, like I have to have the perfect outfit or I have to
like say the right thing. Like you might put a lot of pressure on
yourself to let's say, find a group of friends, and you know,
if you aren't having the best first day or the second day, or like
people are not as a social or whatever, if you're super attached to being
like oh I have to have I have to find a friend group, or
I have to understand a concept in school, or like you know, my
life is over, then it's just again you're just adding more pressure to yourself.
So detach from like needing to have friends or these certain friend groups or
like needing to have the best grades, like you're going to get them.
Yes, you're absolutely gonna get them, but like just chill, relax,
like it doesn't need to be that big of a deal, like you will
absolutely figure it out. Somebody asked advice on being motivated but then procrastinating on
things, and I just wrote my notes like you're not always going to be
motivated, like you can't always rely on motivation for you to get things done.
And now I am going to talk about some studying tips, so I'll
continue to speak on that more, but just know, like you're not always
going to feel motivated, so I'll just leave it at that. You won't
always be motivated, so don't rely on that. Someone asked how to make
connections with people and make friends while studying at home exclusively. So I say,
if you are somebody who's like studying at home, that is totally fine,
but definitely don't underestimate the importance of connection. And I used to do
this too, like I am definitely an introvert, and especially back in the
day, like I had no interest in making friends. Well, I did
have the college experience for sure, when I went to Durham College. But
as I was getting older, I was kind of just cared about getting the
work done and that's that. And that's totally fine if that's like where you're
at in life. But I also did not have a social group to begin
with, Like I didn't even really have like solid friendship, So I really
should have been putting myself out more. And so what I would say for
that, and I think this kind of works with me just working from home
too, is get yourself out of the house. So if you can maybe
go study or work at a like a public library that's near you. I
used to do that sometimes depending on the school, like I'm you might have
certain connections with different libraries or the actual school library of course, going to
coffee shops, going to places where you know there's a lot of students that
spend a lot of their times because students don't just always stay at the school
to study. Like I know, when I was in college, I definitely
went to different like coffee shops, just getting around people who are kind of
in that same vibe as you college student, or even maybe they're just they
have their normal jobs. Getting around those people, you're going to give yourself
the opportunity potentially just to look somebody in the eyes and say hi, and
then you say hi every single time that you're there, and then eventually you
start talking. Like very small little things that you do changing up your environment
will make a big impact on the potential friendships that you will make in your
life. But like you just have to think about like this, and I
guess this can kind of be a limiting belief because yes, you can make
friends in certain situations, but like if you're always at home, the chances
are you are not going to have a lot of friendships or connections because you're
always at home. So if that's what you're looking for, you must take
yourself outside of your home. Go to coffee shop, go to a library
that's like public. You can even go into Facebook groups, like I know
that there's there was a lot of Facebook groups that I would get into.
I remember when I was going to Durham College. There's like Facebook groups for
the dorms and stuff, so you can meet friends that way, and then
they would have like weekly meetups where you would study together or you would even
go out together. Like there's so many things even looking in your hometown,
Like I know, that outside of Georgian College, there were different I don't
know, companies that would run these like weekends college things where it was more
so like bar stuff, which I'm not really suggesting you go do like bar
hops and stuff, but like that is another way that you could meet people,
even if you like you follow them on Instagram. In the next day,
like you go and meet up with them and stuff. Obviously, not
everyone, especially at the bar, is going to be your best friend during
the day, but you never know, right, and it doesn't always have
to be bar things, like there's always things probably going around to looking in
your hometown on Facebook groups things like that, and even I'm sure you have
some friends who are in college that have other friends. So there's many times
where you know what I actually think about this when it comes to my siblings.
By the way, if you guys don't know, I do have a
few siblings, but they're half siblings, so I technically like I was,
I grew up in a single parent not single parent, single child household,
I guess, but I did have sisters and a brother who were around my
age, but same dad, different moms, so they lived with their moms
and I went to a high school right down the street from two of my
siblings, and then my actual my third sister, ended up going to that
high school as well. So they were all three at North and I was
at East View, and so I didn't have like the best I had friend
groups at East View, but I feel like my high school experience was it
was just like awkward and weird, and it wasn't like I didn't have friends.
I definitely did, but I didn't have like the best friendships because I
was also like unhappy and like I had friends. I definitely did, and
we did a lot of things together. So I don't even know why I'm
saying that, but whatever doesn't matter. I think high school is like friendships
are way different than older friendships. But a lot of the times I hung
out with my siblings and then I met so many of my current friends now
from them because I went to their parties. And it's so funny because last
night on Instagram, this is going to be a quick side note, probably
not quick though. Last night I posted a video on my story and it
was this video where you know where they have like little camcorders of recording whoever
comes in and out of the house and it was recording like like a bunch
of kids, like boys and girls walking in the house out of the house.
They had like towels and bathing suits and you know, just like every
day. The camera was just recording them coming in and out and there were
just like a bunch of friend groups and whatever, and they're talking about how
or the parents I guess had recorded that and put it on Instagram and they
were like when your house is the house and they're just saying, like,
you know, we have the house that everyone comes to. We have all
the snacks, we have all the things. All the kids always want to
come over things like that, which, by the way, I want that
for my kids so bad, Like I want to have a home where all
their friends come over, pool parties, like team parties, whatever. It
is like I will be that suburban mother living through my children. I promise
you that. I promise you that. But anyways, I had posted that
and my sister had responded last night and she was like, oh my god,
this just reminds us. Reminds me of the days when we when her
house was the house. By the way, her mom always let everyone come
over. And my brother he was he played football, he played soccer,
he played everything. He was like one of those like light skin athletes that
like everyone loved, like everyone loved Row and so he was like very popular
and like everyone always wanted to come to the parties. And then Vanessa was
a very big socialite as well, so she had like a lot of friends
whatever. So everyone was always at the place at the house, and I
met so many people from just putting myself there and now obviously like they're my
siblings, so I was just like over there all the time. But I
just mean, simply, if you have a friend who is more of a
social butterfly than you, go hang out with that friend and listen, Okay,
I was talking about partying. Obviously partying is not the most important thing.
But I've I definitely met people who I didn't just like party with.
I was able to see and hang out with during the day, and I
got into their friend groups and things like that. So I think, honestly,
the best thing is if you are somebody who's more isolated, and you
you were from home, you study from home, whatever, who is your
friend that's more of a social butterfly than you, because honestly, go out
with them a few times, and you will make a lot more friends,
like honestly, and you'll probably pick up how to be a little bit more
social as well. That is my best tip. Someone asked, how does
that being anxious about studying, and I think that, like, you need
to remind yourself that you're not gonna die if you don't understand something or if
something feels overwhelming. Okay, because this is a thing like when you're when
you think about studying, it's like this huge project and you have the story
that's attached to it, and the story is like I can't do it.
It's going to be so hard, I'm not going to understand it. I
need to get this grade, or like I'm gonna die. Like you need
to kind of like de escalate the situation or the story that you have in
your mind about what it is that you're about to do, like truly,
because if you don't, then yes, it's going to feel that big.
It's going to feel like you're literally going to die, and then you're going
to continue to procrastinate it. And you know, I think another thing is
you need to start in smaller chunks when you feel like, oh my gosh,
this thing is so big. You want to work on the story that
you're telling yourself about this thing, and then you want to give yourself a
little small tangible goals or like things that you want to work towards when it
comes to maybe studying or working on a project, if you think about that
whole entire project and how you have to get all this done, and oh
my god, I have to research for like two weeks, and then on
top of that, then I have to come up with the presentation and then
I have to think about presenting it in front of my class, and I
have so much anxiety, and that's going to be a whole Okay, let's
not even think about you presenting in front of the class. Irrelevant right now.
Okay, let's not think about the fact that you have to then take
all that research and put it into something to presentation. Irrelevant right now.
Let's first look at the fact that you have to research. Okay, that
is still a little bit big and like it's a lot, but let's just
only focus on that. We will focus on the rest of stuff later.
And on top of that, how can we make doing the research of this
project a little bit more tangible, a little less scary Okay, well,
let's not think about having to spend the whole entire week, every single day
after school for five hours studying on this thing, Like that's also really big.
Okay, how can I bring it into smaller chunks? Okay, well
maybe if I have to study every single day, which I do think when
you are working on a projects, it really is helpful for you to stay
consistent on that thing and do it in smaller chunks rather than you wait a
whole week and then you bust it out for like five hours. I do
think that it just it helps with anxiety if if you do something small every
single day I do think that. So, yeah, instead of doing four
hours, you're just going to do one hour, and within that one hour
study session, you're going to a method that we're going to talk about later
on when it comes to studying. So it makes it even easier, Like
you really have to make things smaller, more tangible. If not, the
story is going to be insane, you're going to keep procrastinating and then you're
going to make it way worse than it needs to be. And it truly
does not need to be like that, because at the end of the day,
you are not going to die. I promise you that I know studying
can be annoying and difficult, but you will not die. You'll be able
to do it. Okay, somebody asked, how can I say consistent with
my healthy habits when my whole entire routine changes now that you're going back to
school, which it would totally makes sense, right because usually maybe during the
summer, you're waking up at like eight o'clock or nine o'clock and you have
time to, like, I don't know, do whatever. Maybe you have
a job, so you work at like five o'clock or whatever you do,
but you have so much time. But now, like back to school,
you got to wake up at like six am get things done, and you
have all this time throughout the day that you're at school. Like, I
totally get it. Oh my gosh. I just remember I was posting a
Drake song the other day, Scholarships from What a Time to Be Alive?
I think that's the album I don't really remember, and it just brought me
back to the time where I was really really in my health and fitness grind,
although I usually am so I don't even know why. I like say
it as if I'm not really, but I would wake up at like five
am in the dead middle of the winter, dark as shit, eat my
oatmeal with my protein powder and my freaking peanut butter in that thing. Because
that's when I was counting macros, which don't recommend. That was just way
too stressful for me. I would listen to that song. I would drive
my old ass mas staff from my grandma's house because me and my mom got
kicked out of our trap house at that point and I wasn't living with her.
Love that for me, so I just grinded more. That was a
hard time for me, and I would drive to the gym and I would
do like my hour workout and then I would get to class at like I
don't even know by then, it was like six to seven seven ish,
and I would oh, my gosh, it's so funny because I would have
usually have oatmeal again. I would literally go to tim Moren I would ask
for a hot cup of water and I would go sit my ass down in
class and I would pull out my container with my more protein powder and oats
and I would put the hot water in it. I would make it in
class, and that's that's what I would eat, and then I would be
into class because I just need to get it done. Like I didn't have
a lot of time, and you know, it wasn't summer anymore where I
could wake up at like seven o'clock and go to the gym and have this
like fun fresh that girl morning routine. So I say all that, I
don't know, maybe as inspiration, but also like this is what you're gonna
have to understand. Your priorities are going to shift. Okay, so you
might have to, yes, do a shorter workout if that's what you want
to do when it comes to consistent with your healthy habits. Another thing is
maybe you need to go to sleep at least thirty minutes earlier than you usually
do, or wake up at least fifteen minutes earlier than you usually do.
And I know it sounds like small and like that's not gonna make a difference.
It does. If you want to be healthy, you're gonna have to
understand the priorities are going to switch. But on top of that, you're
gonna need to make a little bit more room for things, and you're going
to shorten the things that you do do when it comes to healthy habits.
But it's still it's still going to count. Your workout is still going to
count, even if you do a thirty minute workout versus like your forty five
minute like going to the gym and getting everything done, like having the best
time in your life. Like you just need to be a little bit more
efficient. Now, I will suggest you will listen to the podcast that I
posted last week about productivity. I talk about a lot of ways in which
that you can be more productive and more efficient and short amount of times.
And someone had also asked how to manage seven hours of school two hours of
tuition? They said tuition, I don't know what that really means. Homework,
exams, hobbies, getting it all done. And honestly, like,
if I'm gonna be dead ass with you, and I'm doing this because I
want you to just like not be so stressed, You're not going to get
it all done. You're not You're not going to be able to get seven
eight hours of school and then like let's say you have a job and then
hobbies and then all your healthy routines and balancing friends and family and everything perfect,
You're not going to do it. And guess what, you don't need
to this is a new season of your life. Understand this. Okay,
So the season of life for you, for most of you is school.
So the main priority is going to be school and studying and getting the ship
done that you need to get done and being very productive and efficient and learning
how to do things and not waste your time of course, but even then
there's still going to be like a little bit of time and your days and
your weeks where you're going to have to be able to allot it to your
hobbies, to your friends, to your work whatever. It's not that you
can't have your hobbies or you can't see your friends, but maybe it's gonna
look like you're probably having like a weekend with your friends once a month,
like you have three other weekends. Like there's not that many weekends in a
month, right, so you know, ideally, yes, we want to
have our weekends with our friends and there are hobbies and then after school like
asleep whatever. But really basically, yeah, maybe it's going to be once
a month that you go and see your friends and you go out and do
something, and the other three weekends are using to prioritize your hobbies or working
working at work like I did not have a social life for so many freaking
years because weekends we're not an option for me to just go hang out.
And if I did go out, I was still getting my ass up and
working. Like there was I never, ever, ever, ever, until
I went full time as a social media influencer that I had free weekends to
like wake up at eight am and like watch YouTube videos and like go see
my friends and like get ready and like whatever. No, I worked.
I worked all of the time, and if I did go out, I
literally this is insane that I even did this. But I would go out
to the club. And this is like early in the college years. Though,
I will say, but even when after the college years, like I
still worked and sometimes I would go out, but maybe it wouldn't go as
late. But when like my early college years, I would literally go out
to the club. I would get home maybe two oclock, get into bed
at three o'clock, wake my ass up at five am to start my tim
Horton shift at six am. That's literally what I would do until I started
to move into the more bartending industry. And then obviously I had like days
where I could actually sleep in, but still, you know what I would
do when I would bartend, and I would like bartend weddings and whatever.
The wedding would be done at, Like it depends on when. Sometimes I
would close a shift and there'd be no point because everyone that's downtown would be
leaving. But sometimes I would be done around like twelve or one o'clock.
Guess where my ass was going downtown to meet all my friends. Like,
girl, you just worked an eight hour shift. So anyways, I say
all that just to say, you're not going to be able to balance at
all, and that's totally fine, so don't try, Like, just don't
try to do it, like take off the stress. Understand that there's going
to be so much time for hobbies and so much time for friends and all
of these amazing things certain areas of your life, and it doesn't need to
be perfectly It's like a perfectly balanced life does not exist. Like we can
try and aim for balance, but it's not. It's not always going to
be like that, and that's totally fine. Someone had asked advice for going
back to school after a few years. So I'm assuming you're probably like a
mature student, so maybe you took time off and then you're going back,
and they also said, like how to put blinders on and just like focus
on yourself without comparing. I'm assuming, I'm assuming what they mean is feeling
maybe a little bit insecure because you're going back to school. Maybe you're a
little bit older, and you're not in like the college scene of like partying
and like doing like I don't know, sorority shit, not like we had
it here, but like that kind of stuff, you know, the partying
that this that understand that there are so many people who are mature students and
who take a long periods of time off and come back. And so I
just say that because you're not alone, Like you're absolutely not alone, but
even younger people like not everyone does the whole college experience in the partying.
Some people can't. Like I did for a little bit when I was living
in the dorms at Durham College. But like at the end of the day,
like girl, like I not no nepple baby, nobody paying my bills.
Okay, I had to get up every day and every single time that
I wasn't studying, I was basically working or doing something. Like I tried
my best to go out and have fun, but like that wasn't the reality
of like every single year in college. I experienced it for a little bit,
but then I realized like now, But on top of that, I
didn't even really love it, Like I wanted to work on my health and
fitness and like prep myself for my future because I had to, Like I
was in survival mode, like I had no time to chill. But honestly,
I think that there's no point in comparing yourself or judging yourself because no
one's really judging you. But you like if you were to go into a
classroom, let's say, and everyone's younger than you, it is really irrelevant
that you're older. Like if somebody, let's says, if somebody did say
something to you, it's like, okay, well they're just being rude and
insecure, so like they're irrelevant and a lot of the times, like I
remember when I was in school, like if I did see something, there
was always people who were older than me in school, and I looked at
them like amazing, You're amazing. You're going back to school, you're taking
something, you're getting stuff done, Like who could even knock that? You
know, like other than you, Like you're the one being insecure, So
anything that you think you're gonna perceive everyone to be like judging you, and
really it's like just you and your perception. So anyways, yeah, like
you're you're not wrong for going back. It's actually really like I commend you
for going back. And also like you're not missing out on anything. If
you feel like you're back in college and everyone else is like having that college
experience and you're not, that's totally fine. There's many many students regardless of
age, that are not partying, who are not like having all these crazy
friend groups in sorority and like the college pictures and this that Like, no,
that is not that's just what you see on social media honestly and maybe
maybe sometimes in school too. But like, it's totally fine if you're not
that. Like, there's so many people who you can find who are honestly
just like studying and doing their own thing as well. Okay, somebody asked
how to decide your major. Listen, what you're not going to do is
decide your life path from somebody on the internet who gives you advice. So
just take this with a pinch of salt. Okay. I do think though,
like one thing and by the way, like thank you for asking,
Like I'm not saying like that that was a stupid question, but it's just
like you, I don't know, Like I can only give you my advice
to take out the pinch of salt. I think, for one, you're
never going to fully know, so just like always leave room for that.
Like I feel like some people really struggle with choosing me because they really just
don't know. So I would say, you don't need to fully know,
and most likely things are going to change anyways, and you can do that
throughout school, so don't wait for the time that you're going to feel one
thousand percent like yes, I got this and I know exactly what I want
to do. And even if you do, I thought that I did.
I told myself that I did, and I decided that I did not want
to do that. So it's totally fine, okay, But you know,
thinking about like what you do well in or what major you should take.
I think you just have to think about what are you interested in? What
could you sit down and like watch youtubes for hours about like videos I should
say not youtubes videos for like hours about or read about or what does your
friends or your family always say that you're super super good at Now. I
feel like a lot of people, especially girls, would be like, oh,
like I'm the advice friend, like everyone comes to me for advice,
like I love it whatever, and you see them go into the field of
psychology, which is like would make kind of sense, maybe even more into
communications per se, but like, yeah, just thinking about you know,
what are your kind of natural talents and gifts. What are you naturally really
really interested even if you let's say you're not talented at that thing, but
like what are you really interested in? And when you take that major,
like you're going to find certain classes that spark an interest within you and you
can go in that direction. So I would say that now. I think
also making sure you do a lot of research on the types of majors and
like degrees and everything that you can get is very helpful because I just think
back to when I would take when I took hospitality, Like as much as
yes, I was interested in that because that's how I thought I wanted to
live my life and have that career, I also was not even looking at
anything to do with marketing, communications and or psychology or even social work or
sociology anything like that, and those were the things that I was actually really
interested in. And I feel like if I did more research than I would
have came across programs like that, and I probably would have considered doing that.
So I would just really say, do your research. And a lot
of people nowadays, not everyone, I know, all you guys are really
into like social media and stuff, but a lot of you guys are into
wanting to do something with social media. Let's say, but let's say you
still have to go to school, Like for sure, I've seen a lot
of people do this, and they've actually especially in my one friend tests like
she she I don't know if she was into social media before she went to
school. I don't think so. I don't think that that's how it worked.
But I see a lot of people and her using their degrees to apply
to things like social media, Like they became content creators. That became something
to do with branding or marketing things like that. So let's say you're really
into something to do with social media, well maybe if you go to that
you go on into the school's website and there's no actual program about like how
to be social media influencer, or whatever. But maybe you look at more
things like marketing or pr communications, and what you will find is there's gonna
be a lot of crossover when it comes to the social media world. So
I would say, maybe look into that if you're really interested in that,
of course, obviously, like if you love watching YouTube videos on health and
wellness or YouTube videos. I don't know, I know not everyone only just
watches YouTube videos, but I'm just saying, like this is just an example
of something that may spark your interests. If you find that you're reading a
lot or watching a lot of podcasts or listening to a lot of podcasts about
health, fitness, or psychology or like social like social issues, then maybe
you can look into like more social work or sociology or of course psychology,
things like that. So I would just think about the things that you really
love and are interested in, and people will also say that you're really good
at. Or let's say you start asking your friends and family like what could
you see me doing? You know, And a lot of the times sometimes
we know, like when people tell us like, oh, like I like
when people tell me, oh, I could see you being a therapist,
Like obviously, it's like the number one thing that I always get. I
always knew that, But there's obviously like certain things too that people will tell
me that I never really thought of. But then I because people see parts
of you that you actually don't necessarily see or don't believe in. So like
for me, I remember, like all my life, people would always say
that, like they could see me becoming like one of those dancers, like
background dancers or just like dancers with people like big celebrities who are on stage
all the time. And I was like, I actually loved I wanted to
do that, but like that part of me was like thrown into my shadows
so much that I had just like never even considered it. I never ever
looked at myself like somebody who could ever be able to be a background dancer
or whatever. But people around me saw, like, you have talent,
you could do that like whatever. Obviously that wasn't my life path at least
for right now it's not. But like it's good to kind of ask people
their opinions in a way, not from a place of like guiding you and
like deciding, but just to see what people think and like what they could
see you doing based off of your amazingness that maybe you can't fully see yet.
Okay, somebody said, well, multiple people had said this, how
to study something I don't really like? And she said it was med school
or maybe it was a guy, but I'm pretty sure it was a girl.
But I have to because my parents. And then somebody else said,
like, I want to drop out, but my mom is forcing me da
da Again, this is coming from somebody on the internet, Like, I
can't dictate your life. Obviously, if you are under the age of like
eighteen, you only have so much decision making that you can make, right.
I really do think it's very unfortunate that and this, you know what,
I'll pay play Devil's advocate here. I understand why parents, for the
most part, push their children to do something like med school or become a
freaking scientist or become a well med school as a doctor but whatever, something
in that field, or a lawyer or things like that, because that's what
they've learned how to do, and like that's gonna be quote unquote where you
make money and things like that, and it's it's like a survival thing.
They want their best for the kids. This that. But I do think
that it's also really sad because it's like a lot of people don't want to
do that. And I think that there's a lot of people who go through
years and the years and years of this stuff where they end up becoming very
unhappy and they're in debt and they literally don't want to do it. So
this is what I would suggest, okay, And this is coming from somebody
who did not have a parent who forced them to do anything they didn't want
to do. And when I mean that is my mother. When my father
is a whole completely different story. But he also passed away when I was
sixteen years old, and that would have been a different story. Although he
wasn't super hard with me when it came to academia because he wasn't really an
academic, he was hard on me about other things. A lot of the
times it was helpful and some of the times it was traumatizing to say the
least. But when it came to school, he didn't really have that much
of a say because he also wasn't that successful when it came to school.
Love him though, obviously arrest in peace. But my mom, on the
other hand, was completely different, and she was very very open and like
let me do whatever I wanted, which was great. I love that.
So it's coming from somebody who did not have that. So this is what
I think my best advice. And like what maybe could I'm not even gonna
say could work. Okay, I understand that this might not work, but
almost like build a case for yourself, because this is the thing you're saying,
like you don't want to do med school or like you want to drop
out, or you don't want to do this. Okay, you need to
come up with a very good reason as to why you don't want to do
this and what you want to do instead. Because understand that your parents are
not going to be okay with you not doing anything. So if you're coming
to them just being like I don't want to do it anymore and like I
don't like it and it's just it's just stressfulness that okay, well guess what
you gotta do something? So what is it going to be? And if
you have not built a case, if you have not done your research,
if you have not followed your interests or your passions, and you've done your
like like I just said, research and you've written like a huge case as
to what you can do differently, if you drop out, like what you're
gonna do, like your whole plan everything like that, are you going to
convince them to be able to leave this whatever it is that you're doing.
Probably not. Now. I'm not saying that this is going to work,
but I think that that is going to be your best bet when it comes
to trying to change somebody's mind about something, because again, your parents want
the best for you. They want to see you grow and involve, and
honestly a lot of parents don't even know what's out there other then like med
school, are going to be a lawyer or going into business or get counting
things like that, right, so they might not even be aware. And
again this might be so much convincing that it might be too much and you
never be able to change their mind, but who really knows. And the
last thing I'll say about the whole not wanting to take this major, if
that doesn't work and you can't convince your parents of you know, leaving dropping
out things like that, and it's really not your decision, which it really
should be. I just think that you should really try and be open and
understand that not every single class you're gonna like and not every single class you're
going to like excel at. Maybe but if you and I know it can
be hard, like med school, Like I never went to med school,
I can only imagine, and I like, I commend people for that,
but like for you to even expect yourself to love it, I don't know.
I think that's kind of I don't think anyone could possibly love every single
part of med school. But I feel like if you're open and you have
a positive mindset and optimistic mindset, you might start to I'm not saying you're
going to absolutely love and enjoy it, but maybe you'll pick up on something
that you didn't because you were open or because you enjoyed it, and that's
going to lead you into a new insight or a new interest that will lead
you into a new class. And maybe that is a class that opens up
your mind about you know, specializing in something when it came to med school,
and maybe actually you do want to be in med school, but maybe
you just didn't want to do this specialization or like you know, like something
sparks your interests or your passion, but when you are very very very close
off and you're like, I don't want to be here and I'm not going
to do this and whatever. Well, if you're if you're going to be
there and you have to do it, then do your best to make it
the best damn fucking year that you possibly can make it or years right,
And I know it can be difficult when you're when you've been like you're convinced
yourself like absolutely not, I do not want to do this. But I
think that if you learn how to be a little bit more productive, you
learn how to overwhelm yourself too much and not have much anxiety and stress when
it comes to studying and like managing school, which can be difficult, I
know it can. I think that it does give you a little bit more
room to find something because I just I just believe, no matter what path
you're taking, whether it's not necessarily the path you want to be on,
taking steps forward will eventually get you to where it is that you're supposed to
be in life. But if you dig your heels into the ground and you
say no, I don't want to do this and I want to do nothing
at all, then no, you're not going to find what it is that
you really are passionate about. And if you have this circumstance that is very
fixed right now. And I've been in very fixed environments and situations and I
couldn't get out of them. The only thing that I could do is change
my perception about those experiences and say, you know what I got to do
with what I have right now? This is not ideal. I don't want
to be in it, but I'm going to find some light, some positive
aspect of this shitty ass thing right now, and I'm going to make this
work as much as I can. In every single time, I changed my
mindset and my perception around the thing that I was happening in my life from
looking at it as negative to somewhat positive and somewhat this is a part of
my journey, this is there's a reason for this, There was a lesson
for this. I always found what it is that I was supposed to find.
I always found my path. I always found some insight that brought me
closer to where it is that I am today. So just take that with
what you will. I know it can be difficult, but I would honestly
say, like, build a really solid case for your parents if you're really
trying to like change something. Oh one thing Actually, I will say this.
My mom did push me a little bit in school, and I'll give
you this quick thing. Not quick, you already know it's not gonna be
quick. So when I was in hospitality at that point, it was my
second year, and I kind of knew that I didn't want to go out
west and work in the hotels and resorts. I didn't really want to do
that. So I was kind of like checked out of it, and I
was really into health and fitness, and like I just didn't want to pursue
anything. But I was still gonna do it. I wasn't gonna drop out.
I was going to finish the course whatever it wasn't it was easy,
fun course whatever. Had a good time in school. But one of our
classes was co op. So we had to find a co op and the
co op had to be which is like an internship. By the way,
if you guys don't know, it was wasn't unpaid. Yes, it was
an unpaid internship. So we had to find something in the field of hospitality.
And now a lot of people went to hotels and worked at the front
desk or they did some sort of management or whatever, but hospitality also includes
bartending, and serving. And now we actually had a fine dining class where
we taught. We got taught everything. We had a wine in spirits class,
we got trained. The top of the line had to serve highest end.
It was great. Although I hated it. I hated fine fine dining.
I did not want to serve ice. Still to this day do not
like serving fine dining. Like I would never be able to work at a
really expensive stakhouse or anything because I just like cannot, I cannot, I
just like I don't know whatever. So even though I did, I did
work and do fine dining at a private golf club. I ended up doing
that and I literally hated that part of it. I hated working in the
dinner service part. I liked doing like bartending and working on the course and
stuff like that. But anyways, we had to find an internship. And
so while I was at Georgian College still I was still working full time at
Tim Hortons because it was just an easy job that was paying my bills for
what I had to pay, and I had seniority there at at the end
of the day, like I was a good worker. It was very easy.
It was like home to me. So I worked there for a long
time, and I was like, Okay, well, let me just do
extra hours at tim Hortons because it falls under hospitality. And I was able
to actually get them to actually do it if I wanted to, and I
knew I was keeping very small because it was already a place that I was
working at. But I was like, I don't really want to, like
I don't want to do anything, so like, let me just stay here
and just do extra hours here. And my mom was like, you're not
doing that. You're not doing that. You're going to find a job that's
in the hospitality, even if it's not your job, or sorry, even
if it's not in a hotel, You're at least gonna go find something.
And they had a list of things where you could work, right, And
so that's where I found the golf course because golf courses are tied into like
the hospitality, because yes, it's like serving and bartending, but there's like
events that you can do, and like I did a lot of bartending weddings,
and I did a lot of setups for weddings. We set up weddings
every single weekend. It was insane the amount of weddings that I worked,
and so there's all that hospitality aspect of things, and like different little corporate
events and stuff that we did. So I ended up finding the golf course
and then I was like, Okay, I'll go to the interview, and
I ended up getting that job and I did co op. So I did
all the events and everything like that, and then I ended up realizing that
there's more money to be made in the serving and bartending industry than there is
working a minimumui's job at tim Horton. So even though I still didn't want
to work in hospitality, and I decided and I graduated that I'm not going
out west, I'm not working at a hotel resort. I don't really care
to do that. I ended up getting a job out of this, which
was a job that allowed me so much experience to not only move into another
like I ended up obviously when I left Barry, I served and bartended at
an actual, like true restaurant, even though that was a true restaurant.
And on top of that, it made me so much more money, so
much more money, and I gained so much more experience, and I was
I came in contact with so many people that actually was like at the golf
club, like very wealthy people at the golf club, very connected, well
connected people. I made so many cool friends there and it just allowed me
to work smart or not harder, and I wouldn't have been able. And
I the reason why I'm saying this too is because the serving and bartending literally
held me all the way until I wanted to leave my corporate job and be
able to do social media full time because I was still serving and bartending as
I was doing my corporate job, and then I want to realize I didn't
want to do that as well in the health and fitness space. I was
like, Okay, well I want to leave this job. And I was
able to leave because I was making enough money in a short amount of time
bartending and serving, which allowed me to work on my social media to get
me to where I'm at right now. So that was needed. I had
to take that leap, not even to leap of faith. I shouldn't say
that, but I had to take that step out of my comfort zone even
though I was convinced I didn't want to. M no, I'm just gonna
stay here, and my mom was like, no, you're going in that
direction. So I guess I say that as well as because like, as
much as you might think that you know something, it's not that you don't,
right, But it's like, don't have so much resistance to things because
you never know where that could lead you. And that was a part of
my path That wasn't the end all working at the golf club or anything to
do with hospitality, but that was a bridge to where I'm at right now.
It made my life ten times more easier to be able to build my
social media on the side when I had when I was able to work let's
say, four shifts a week versus a five work week Monday to Friday,
driving in and out of work and all this shit, and not even making
enough money to be able to like live versus like bartending, not even working
as many hours, but making a fun time of money and tips and a
short amount of time. Right. So it's just like everything is connected.
I swear I could go for days. Everything is connected. Okay, Oh
my gosh, this episode's getting really really long. But whatever, I haven't
done a very long episode in a long time study techniques. Okay, so
I use this thing and it's called the Palmadero. I don't know if I'm
saying that right, but it's spelt p O m O d O r O,
and it's essentially this technique where you study on and then you take a
break, and then you study on, take a break on and off,
on and off. Now I don't think it matters like how many minutes.
Like I think that there's people who do like twenty five minutes on and then
you take a five minute break and then twenty five minutes and then five minute
break until you hit an hour or until you hit the goal that you wanted
to actually accomplish. But what you can do is you can go on YouTube
and I do this. The reason why I'm also really saying this is because
I still use this today when I do any sort of work, but especially
when I'm writing my book and I'm doing things regarding like writing, I go
on YouTube and I will either I use that method, but I also just
sometimes just go on and write a one hour or two hours study with me,
and I like work through that whole entire thing. So it depends on
if you want breaks or not. I find if you're somebody who's very overwhelmed,
you have a lot of anxiety and a lot of stress, it's better
to do this method where you're timed for twenty five minutes and then what it
will do. It will beep on YouTube and then you can take your five
minute break and then go back into it. My lord, that's when you
know I've been talking for way too long when my camera keeps heating up.
I don't know where I stopped, but we were talking about the study technique.
So if you are doing something that's creative and you need a lot of
like creative flow and just like writing, I honestly highly suggest you just go
on YouTube and find like a one hour or two hours study with me with
no breaks, and then just take a break when you need to. But
if you are overwhelmed or you just are doing tasks that don't necessarily involve a
lot of flow states and it's just like you doing some research or I don't
know, mundane tasks but for a project, then I would suggest maybe doing
the Palm and Darrow. I think that's how you say it study technique.
I just think that it just helps and just having a timer in general in
the background, and they usually play music in the background as well, so
I would suggest that and also again go to my productivity episode that I did
last week, and I have some good tips for that as well. Somebody
asked tips on how to take notes, and this is a good The reason
why I wrote this is because I used to be somebody who would chronically try
and write absolutely every single thing that the teacher would be saying, and I
would then not actually take in anything at all. And I realized as I
started to really apply myself in school, I would actually learn something when I
listen to the teacher instead of focusing on writing down every single word. Because
half the time that I'm writing down these things, I'm not even gonna remember
it. So then when it comes to test time or when it comes to
actually going home and learning something, I have actually no idea what it is
that I learned, and I have to reread all my notes. But even
when I'm reading the notes, like I'm not retaining the information because I wasn't
engaged with what they were saying. So this is what I say. You
can take notes, sure, but like literally just take notes in a way
of like, oh, this is interesting and this is something that I don't
really know too much about, so I'm gonna write it down. I'm gonna
jot it down on my paper, and I'm gonna look into it later,
or I'm gonna look into the textbook that we have for the class later,
or I'm gonna ask my teacher about this later. I'm not going to try
and write every single word that they're saying. I will like literally research that
later. The main thing is, I let me listen to what the teacher
is saying, because this is what happens. When you actually listen to the
teacher. You are actually retaining the information you are imagining in your head,
or you're listening to their words or whatever it is. However, you learn
and everyone's like different and people are like neurodivergent in this that. But I
think it's really important for you to be engaged with the teacher. And this
is what's going to happen if you don't actually understand something. That is when
you can actually put up your hand and ask. You need to ask questions.
If you don't understand something, ask And I get it. I used
to be somebody who was definitely afraid to put my hand up in class.
Okay, I get it, But you can't be that person if you do
not understand, put up your hand and ask in that moment, or write
something down that you do not understand that they just said, and at the
end of class, go ask and get them to explain it to you,
because this is what's gonna happen. If you don't understand something, you're gonna
keep going down this road of not understanding more and more things, and things
are gonna get more confusing for you. There's so many times where I didn't
ask questions, and once I started asking questions in class, I was like,
oh my god, now I get it because somebody explained it to me.
Or I stop trying to rate everything word for word because half that ship
was irrelevant anyways, and just listen to what they're saying. And then I
actually went home and realized that I understood what it is that they were saying
because I was listening. I wasn't writing things. I wasn't trying to like
recall what was that word she said before that word? No, please take
taking notes very very lightly, I guess. I don't know, just like,
don't put that your main focus. I just think that it's it's very
counterproductive at least somebody, especially for me, Like I'll say, like I
need time, I need a lot of time to understand a concept. I
need to ask a lot of questions. And I was never a student in
school where like let's say in a math like a math class and they're doing
some calculation on the board, and then the teacher turns around and says,
Okay, what's the answer, and everyone's hands are flying up. My hand
wasn't flying up because I still need to sit here and like calculate what I'm
just what I'm seeing on the board, Like I need a second. And
if you're a person who needs a second, most likely it's not going to
be helpful for you to just like try and word for word right whatever it
is, and instead give yourself time to understand something by just listening, digest
the information, ask your question, and move on, and then of course
go home and think about it again and work it out, or like ask
somebody to explain it to you if you need. Somebody had said advice on
failing classes, thinking these classes are not for you getting selected or not feeling
not smart enough. I think the worst thing that you could do for yourself
is to now look at yourself. If you, let's say you fail to
class or you didn't get selected or whatever, like you are less than that,
you're dumb, that you can't do it, whatever. And I know
obviously that's how you're going to feel initially when you get a bad grade or
you're not understanding something. But I think there's no reason for you. First
of all, you're not going to be one hundred percent perfect all the time.
And if you're straight a student, amazing, you're just so amazing.
We love that part. Yeah, okay, but I was not that,
And I think that, like I had already said, the worst thing that
you can do is try, and now create not try, but you're creating
this self concept that you are somebody who fails. That's somebody who doesn't get
it, somebody who will never understand it. I remember I used to tell
myself all the time, I don't understand math, or I don't understand science,
or I can't do it. I can't do it. Stop telling yourself
that you can't do it. Start telling yourself a new story. Okay,
I struggle with this topic and I need to learn how to learn better and
retain the information better. But it doesn't mean that I can't understand science or
I can't understand complex topics. Do you know how many times I thought that
I couldn't understand anything to do with psychology, sociology, economics, politics.
Every time I heard anything to do with any of those subjects, I was
like, Nope, I have no idea, I can't, I don't.
I don't get it until I was like and even geography, by the way,
and then I was like, you know what, No, my schooling
has been completely shit okay, And all I needed was more time and extra
help that I didn't get. On top of that, I came from a
household that was not it wasn't helpful for me to actually learn. I went
home and nobody was checking on if I was doing school work, and if
I was, my dad was screaming at me, so then I didn't understand
anything anyways. Or my mom, like she was at work so she couldn't
really help me. Like there was many things at home life that that wasn't
creating an environment where I was able to actually retain information and understand things.
So no wonder I wasn't the best student, honestly, so you kind of
have to look at your life in that way. And like we didn't have
any money to do any tutoring or anything like that either. But I never
let my upbringing or the fact that I struggled at one point understanding different topics
at school affect how I was going to learn when I was older, and
I realized, Okay, these are things that I still do not understand,
and it's affecting how I show up in life and conversations, and I want
to understand them. So I decided to take my time and learn them,
however long it was going to take, if I had to spend time after
school, if I was in school learning about a certain topic, or even
after I was out of college, and I realized, oh, I don't
know a lot about geography or economics or freaking geography, Like I feel like
a lot of us come out of school not knowing shit at all. So
I just decided to take my time. And I think that, yeah,
just you aren't. Even if you feel like you're not understanding something, there's
usually probably a reason, like maybe it's the way in which that you're trying
to learn that thing, or maybe you're putting a lot of stress on it.
And then of course there's always gonna be time where you just don't really
you're not interested in certain topics, so it's going to be harder for you
to stay focused on And that's also okay too, Like I don't think that
you're going to excel in absolutely every single thing. It doesn't mean that you're
dumb or whatever. It's just like that topic is probably not for you,
and that's totally fine. And also, like even in school, like if
you do need more time on an exam or a test or a project,
or you have to ask a lot more questions than the other people in your
claus who cares literally irrelevant, irrelevant what somebody else and how they are learning
and what they are doing is compared to you. Like just like let's leave
that at the door. Let's leave comparison at the door. Somebody that also
asks, like you know, I shall gole with like secretly kind of feeling
like I have to compete with my friends in terms of grades and projects and
all that kind of stuff. And I get it, Like, you know,
it's not bad to be having a little part of you that's like competitive
in a sense of like you want to just be successful, right, but
other people's success should really be irrelevant to yours because there's room for a lot
of people to win. Okay, a lot of people live in scarcity and
they think that there is not and there is. So I would suggest just
focusing on your path what you need to do when it comes to educating yourself,
asking questions, applying yourself listening, taking that extra time, prioritizing school
right now. And if that means yes, you're gonna have to, you
know, not hang out with your friends all the time or like all of
this time into hobbies even if you're ends are doing that. Guess what you
are on the path that you need to be on. And guess what all
of this time that you put towards school and working on your future self is
going to be worth it. I promise you it's never not going to be
worth it if you decide to bet on yourself and go for what you want
in your life. Someone also asked, like, how to get a job
after college. Now, I'll quickly just sum it up by saying, start
as soon as you can if you're in college still last year, because there's
a few people who are in their last years. Set yourself up for success.
Start looking for jobs in the industry that you need. Also, be
open to people and places and connections. Going on LinkedIn. Can you help
like you searching up like people in certain roles of the companies that you're trying
to get into, Let's say, using the teasered resources that they give you
that nobody wants to freaking like take or apply themselves to be super open even
if you feel like I don't want to be in that job or that job
seems boring or whatever. You never know. You could start at a position
and then three months later they open up a new position and it gives you
more money, or it gives you more experience, and then that experience leads
to something else. Also understand that when you're starting out somewhere new in a
field, there's gonna be times where you're gonna have to put in that work
and it might be free work, right or whatever. Like when you're starting
out new, you kind of have to really put your effort and understand that
people are looking for value. What value can you bring me to this job
right now as an intern as somebody, let's say, or even if I'm
gonna pay you, what do you have that's different than everyone else's And a
lot of the times people business owners, it's not even just about them looking
for credentials. I hear this all the time. Even for me. When
I got my corporate job, I didn't even have the actual I did have
the credentials, but there are people who had way more credentials than I did.
But I decided to apply myself. I decided to continue to ask to
show up to help extra help. I would even pick up shifts or people.
I would ask people like do you need to actually help on any projects
that you need, like always telling them like I'm available, I want this
job, like please let me know if anything opens up. I made very
deep connections with the managers. I always made sure that I was falling up
with things like being proactive in that way is going to put you in the
eyes of somebody who eventually is going to need you to fill a position.
So like, you ain't gonna get what you want by sitting sitting around and
hoping and praying and wishing on a damn star. I'll tell you that for
free. You know, like even when it comes to manifesting, like yes,
yes, yes, get the mindset right, spiritual, this, that
and the third vibes high vibrations. But and then you have to take that
action and go and do the thing that you want. Right, if you
want to become a YouTuber, you need to actually decide what it is that
you're going to sit down and film and record and upload a video and do
it consistently. You're not going to be a YouTuber by not doing that.
So there's always the masculine with the feminine. Stop letting your anxiety take over
you asking a question. Understand that those thoughts and those negative stories that you
have are just old manifestations of you and the self doubt. That's irrelevant.
It's not you, it's not the story. You are smart. You can
do it. You can learn, you can implement things, even if it
takes you a lot of time. Whatever it is, you have to start
to reconstruct that story that you tell yourself. Oh one more quick question that
I'll answer because I didn't actually I forgot about that one. Someone said how
to deal with girl drama, and like friendship drama, I literally just wrote
on my notes, don't just don't, just don't, don't deal with it.
If people are gossiping and people are doing shit you don't want to do,
and you know it's not align to you, this is not the time
anymore. Like I'm so sick and TI. I don't care what aige you're
at that we just like feel like we have to deal with stupid shit we
don't want to. This is not the year that we're going to be dealing
with things that we do not want to deal with. If people are around
you who are being negative, who are complaining, who are gossiping, who
are doing shit you don't want to do, remove yourself from the situation,
find you friends, stop people pleasing. I literally put a post a video
on YouTube. If you struggle with that people pleasing. Focus on your vision
that you hold for yourself, and if you don't have one, make a
vision where you want to be next three to five years. What are the
steps in which you're going to take to get to yourself there? And how
are you going to do that every single day? And keep focus on that.
And I think that productivity video will definitely help, and also my videos
on preparing for a fall will definitely help on YouTube. But I just think
that, like you know, it's just you have to think about the bigger
picture here. I don't care what age you're at, Like, this is
not we don't have we have a lot of time here on earth. But
we don't have that much time, okay, to just be wasting our time
doing things we don't want to do, or talking about things that we don't
want to do, or being friends with people who don't want to be friends
with. And this is the thing, Like you're probably going to upset some
people when you decide that you don't want to engage in conversation about certain topics
or party anymore, or focus on yourself more. And that's okay, And
I honestly just think that's kind of the price that you pay to becoming the
person that you really want to be and understanding that. You know, in
the moment, you might lose some friends or you might feel like you're being
left out because you're not doing what everyone else is do in college or high
school or whatever. But that also doesn't mean that you're always going to be
lonely as well, Like you're actually creating a lot of room for people to
come into your life that you actually want to spend time with and you want
to do fun things with and you want to have this life or relationships.
You know, even when you like step out of hook up culture and you
stop doing all that stupid shit, you might feel like, oh it's boring.
I'm alone, I'm a loner, I'm single. But you're creating a
lot of space for healthier people to come into your life. So just understand
that. But in the moment, yes, you will have to kind of
deprioritize things and lose a few things, but understand that it's all for you
and it's not against you. So I hope this episode helped you in some
capacity. I rented for so long about so many things. I realized that
I just had way too many questions. I couldn't even answer them all.
I wish you guys nothing but the best for the school year, and I'll
be here every week. So if you guys need more advice or anything like
that, you can always submit your questions on the podcast Instagram or on the
community tab here on YouTube if your wing. Make sure that you subscribe to
the YouTube channel if you aren't, because I know a lot of people,
just find my videos on the homepage. Also, I am considering doing two
episodes a week on the podcast starting sometime in September, but I want to
talk about that next week because next week is going to be a little bit
more chatty as well. When it comes to just like the summer ending.
Things that helped me gloat up this summer. Lots of recommendations, just chit
chat shit that sounded really weird. Also like things that I want to do
for the podcasts and stuff. So you'll hear more about that next week.
So I hope you guys enjoyed and I'll see you in the next one. By