We seem to talk a lot about poop on the show today, so we're
going to expand this to the poop too Poop version poop episode, too poop,
Too Furious Extended, poop extended to poop too furious, poop too pooh?
Who names the podcast? Now, Okay, whatever you want to do,
Jenny, I'll leave it up. What did you say, too poop,
too furious or just to not crazy about that? You don't like that's
fast and furious, too too fast, too furious. Well, Jenny,
you work it out and let us know what's coming up. So I told
my story on the radio today, but I'll tell it on the podcast because
it's apparently makes people laugh. So I'll tell you the thumbnail version. So
I'm camping with Carson and it's Mosquito Island in the middle of the Mississippi.
Mosquito's everywhere. It is so bad, and I'm on a little I'm pooping
on a it's not a toilet, it's not an outhouse. It's a wooden
box with a toilet seat on it. And so you sit down and you
do your business. The bugs are so bad that I'm pooping and swatting and
swinging my arms like crazy. Then I'm doing the paperwork, you know,
after you do your thing, And I got poop on my hand, and
then a mosquito lands on my cheek, on my right cheek. And when
I got poop on my hand, I reach up to slap the mosquito and
I get a handprint of poop on my on my face. God, as
you did it, I feel like I felt poop go on my face.
Yeah, slap poop story number one, Poop story number two. I was
going into a station meeting and I charted myself and not a major one but
just a little one. And I sent next to our web guy at the
time, Mike Charming guy, and I'm like, God, hold on,
you skipped a part of the story. Can I interjecture? So you sharuded
yourself in the studio. You were running to the bathroom to kind of clean
yourself up before the meeting. But Rich saw you and he thought you were
confused as to which conference room you you're supposed to come, and he's liked,
Dave, we're in here, and so you're like, oh, fuck,
I gotta go. Yeah, And I didn't want to say I just
charted myself so I go into the meeting. I'm sitting next to Mike,
and I thought Mike was edging away from me, like, oh, you
stank. So after the meeting I told Fallon and I said, well,
you smell me to see if I stank. And she's like, now you
smell fine. I'm like, oh good. Third story. Meanwhile, you're
like sitting in soupy like gross. Okay, it wasn't that bad. Third
story poop, It's just like a cup of poop. The third one is
I'm making sweet sweet love to a girl on my bedroom note my dining room
floor back in Ohio. I was like twenty three or twenty four. We're
making sweet sweet love on the dining room floor, and I'd taken my glasses
off because you know, you don't make love with your glasses on, at
least you shouldn't, So I put them on the kitchen counter and we're making
sweet sweet love and I get up and she gets up afterward, and there's
like a thing on the floor and I'm like, what's that Because on my
glasses I couldn't see put my glasses on. It was poop. Like the
size of it. Back on the floor when you were making. She was
on her back yet fell out, and so she had pooped during this sweet
love. And she looks and she goes, oh, and she picks it
up with her hand and she takes it to the bathroom and flushes it,
washes her hand, comes back out and is like nothing happened. And I
was so mortified for her that I was like, if I were you,
I would I didn't say it, but I thought if I were you,
I would immediately apologize and leave and never see you again. But she was
cool with it, and she treated it with a lot more maturity than I
did. Maybe it happened to her a lot. I was gonna say,
she must have had ibs or something to have that be just a normal like,
Oh, I love to think I'm gonna tell you, I like to
think that I pleasured her so hard that she pleasured She experienced the level of
shangri law so intensely shangri law. She experienced such a powerful shangri law that
her entire Pelvic region contracted and emitted everything that was in there. Usually,
if you do get to that point, maybe a little toot comes out,
not usually a turd. Well, that may be your experience but I like
to think that my Shangri law giving yeah was so powerful. Y Yeah,
that that's what happened. Do you want stories from Bailey and I I would
love it. I was coming to that next Bailey. Jenny, Jenny,
you're first, you volunteered. Let me hear yours. Okay, So a
handful of years ago, I was at my kickball playoffs and I had drink
alcohol the night before, and as a lot of people probably know, your
stomach kind of like rejects alcohol the next day and you end up having to
go to the bathroom aggressively. So I go into the porta Potti at kickball
playoffs and right after I get done doing my business, I look in there
are there's no toilet paper, And it is not a good situation. It
is a situation where I absolutely need toilet paper and I had nothing I could
do, So I just scurried out ran to my car, where I keep
like wet ones in my car. Yeah, And so I like I felt
like I was changing to poopy diaper in my car, is what I felt
like I was doing as I cleaned myself up in that car, and luckily
there was a garbage can right by my car, so I was able to
just throw things away. But that's what I had to do. And it
was like ninety degrees in sunny that day. So I'm doing this in my
car, praying. There's no position, Are you like standing behind the door.
I'm in the second row. No, I'm in the car, and
I'm like a little bit of a room. I'm laying down on the second
roll getting in there with my wet ones. Like I said, it felt
like I was cleaning my own poopy diaper, and I tossed it in the
garbage and then proceeded to go off and wind kickball that day for the championship.
You're fresh as a d everybody's got a story. If you want to
share your story on the Poop Version Volume two, then we'll read those tomorrow.
If you got a funny story, what is yours? Bailey? I
see, I've never pooped my pants. I had like a pooping issue in
middle school, where like I just didn't poop a lot, definitely like super
constipated all the time. And I woke up in the middle of the night
one night because I thought my appendix had burst or something. But it was
just that I was so backed up and needed to go to the bathroom,
so I had to go to the er and then my doctor had to give
me like, you know, milk of magnesium or something like that. But
my doctor was like, so what grade are you in? And I was
like seventh and he's like, oh, my son is in seventh grade too,
and I was like, oh cool. He's like, so where do
you go to school? Oakview Middle School? And he's like, my son
goes to oak Middle School. And I'm like huh. He's like cool.
Do you know Levi Risher? Like yeah, my Risher was like one of
the popular kids. And his dad is like treating me for not being able
to poop. And I'm like, if you go home and you tell Levi
Risher that Bailey Hus couldn't poop, oh my god, it's gonna get around
school. Did you ever poop? I did that? Melca magnesia goes right
right, yeah. And I wish I had existed. That I knew it
existed. There was a fable in my school, and I don't know whether
it's true or not, but there was a big I'm gonna go in and
say it because he was a he was a big kid and he I never
forget his name, Ken Biggs, which was funny because he was a big
kid and apparently he went camping for a week and he didn't poop the entire
time. So the rumor legend around our school was his mom had to dig
it out of his buttthole with a fork. I've never people say that,
Are you serious? Yeah, you have to dig it out with a fork?
Though, well that's probably not I would use at least a spoon,
Yeah, spoon. And I felt bad for Ken Biggs because, you know,
I mean, how embarrassing is that. Ye, you're bent over your
mom's lap and she's in there, like, you know, with a headlight
on her head. She's like digging it out with a fork, And I
thought, man, one slip and you get a tie in your anus.
Yeah, that doesn't sound fun at all. And didn't get to that point.
Okay, good, thank god? All right, anybody else? No,
okay, good, let's move on more emails. If I touched the
right tab here, let's see what we get. Okay, here we go
from Anna Hey, my favorite so lately. When the podcast was uploaded into
my feet, there's a short best of the day segment that shows up I
never listened to that, and then I remove it from my feed. I
only do this because I want to listen to all four hours and I don't
want to listen to the ten minute segment twice. But what I'm finding is
when I forget to go into my podcast player and search for the show to
start listening hour by hour, I listen to other podcasts because they are up
on my feet. It's just easier. Or I'll listen to the six am
hour but not the rest. I might recommend not uploading the best of segment,
and I really wish you'd go back to just uploading the show in one
chunk rather than hour by hour. It's so much harder to listen to the
whole show. Now. I'm a P one listener, which means like,
that's you, We're your favorite station super fan, and I know more about
y'all than is considered normal. But it's getting tricky to keep my elite status
only because of how the show is uploaded as a podcast. Jenny, you
do that, I don't understand it. Do you want to comment? So
Bailey uploads the podcast now and so we do it hourly. But then also
we always put a clip up every day of kind of like what we think
is one of our best clips. So I think the way that it should
be uploaded though, is the hours are all in one, and then you
upload the clip either before after the hours goes yeah nine eight seven six clip,
so that it'll play clip six seven eight nine when you do it.
I see, okay, Yeah it should be in order. Yeah, yeah,
So what is she experiencing? Do you know that she doesn't like?
I truthfully don't. I mean, Bailey listens to the podcast a lot,
and she says that it work right to go in order, So I'm not
entirely sure, but I do know, like on iHeart you can sort it
by like newest first versus oldest first, So like, I don't know if
it's the way that it's sorted that's kind of throwing it off, But I
mean, I don't know. I do my best. Yeah, it's something
we wrestled with a lot a year ish or so ago as we got a
new platform or whatever. So you know, we just want you to have
a really good experience with the podcast, So you know, please let us
know if there's something we can do different next one. I'd like to remain
anonymous for this email, especially if you put in the actual show. Let
me start off by saying, your new lineup is so good. Everybody plays
such a big part in making your show great, and I love the different
personalities. I've been a listener for many, many years, and I've been
fortunate to have met both of you recently fallen and I even got in your
Weekend in five a couple of weeks ago. Ah, I wonder what picture
that was. Yeah, if I went back, I'd be like, immediately,
okay, I get a situation. I'd like you and your wonderful listener's
advice about I am not a drinker. I used to be, but quit
when my kids were little. My kid's dad, on the other hand,
really finds joy drinking. He has had multiple driving issues through the years.
He no longer will get behind the wheel after even one drink, but he
thinks it's okay for other family members as their records are cleaner. There's a
family member that is a very chronic drinker. On a typical day, starts
early and goes until the night. Yikes. I know when this person comes
to town, they claim they haven't drank all day, but I feel like
they would still be considered intoxicated by a breathalyzer, regardless as it's always in
their system. That's awful. My kid's dad thinks it's totally okay for this
person to drive with them as long as they've only had one or two.
My kids have been very vocal about uncomfortableness getting in the car with this person.
They have seen that person drink and drive on several occasions, and has
in fact taken them places after one or two drinks. I can only do
so much, though, because when I approach their dad, he thinks I
overreact, and technically I really can't stop this. I'm wondering if there's someone
out there that might know more about what I could do to protect my kids,
or someone that possibly has a little knowledge of the breath elizer as to
how long a chronic drinker has to be sober before they would be considered safe.
On the average day, I would say, this person drinks probably a
twelve pack. Thank you, you make my laugh, make me laugh all
the time, and I love the show. And she says, if you
decide to air this, can you respond to this message let me know be
horror fand okay, yeah I will. I'll write you back. I almost
think we should talk to Jonathan Fogel about that, because you should have a
right as a parent to say, dear husband, no, they are not
going to ride in the car with this guy. And husband will say like,
oh, you're overreacting. Well, this is not showing them a bad
movie or watching, you know, a show that's inappropriate, or maybe playing
a video game that might be a little bit. This is life and death
safety issue for sure. Absolutely, So I want to say, if you
remind me, Jenny, because I'll forget. We can maybe ask Jonathan Fogel
about that off the air tomorrow and see what he says. Because I really
think that even if you're in a happy marriage and you see your partner doing
something that endangers the kids, like nah, I left him in the hot
car at Target for fifteen minutes. They're fine. My mom used to do
that to us all the time, you should have a right to say no,
I get a voice in this too, and you're not gonna do this,
right, I would think, I agree. So yeah, because it's
your I mean, they're your kids, so obviously their safety matters to you
and it should be of like first priority for sure. Okay, hold on
install for a minute while I write her back and say answered this on the
Minnesota goodbye. All right, David's answering this email right now. So Billy
and I we're going to chat about what was your favorite memory from the boat
cruise last night, if you had to choose one memory from the boat cruise
last night. I met while this woman named Tracy, who I think we
all met. I really liked her. She was like, hey, I
like you. I used to be a stage manager, and then we were
talking about stage managing and different plays, and it was really nice to be
like, oh, this person knows what I'm talking about. So I really
enjoyed Tracy. For sure, what was your favorite? I like that.
But then I also, just because I like to speak on mental health,
I was surprised at how much of Shineedown's music revolves around mental health. So
it was really inspiring hearing them talk between their songs, to the point that,
like, I was sort of cheering up one time when they were talking
about their guitar player, their basic player, who has a pretty bad depression.
So yeah, it was just it was a great cruise all in all.
Andrew from Ohio, one of our regular staff, writers. Let's see
what Andrew has to say. He said, I want to put it a
comment about the panhandler flower salespeople on the side of the road in Ohio near
me the past couple of months, every few days, I'll see a group
of people at a stoplight claiming to be collecting money for a funeral. Now,
I personally don't carry cash anymore, although some of these people out here
on corners, they are with their cash tag, so it's like you can
venmo mer or cash apt me money. So I don't give them money.
But I'm wondering could it be a scam, like there is no funeral at
all to begin with, or how do I know they actually will use the
money for that cause I don't, So that's another reason I'm not given money.
Recently, I've also seen people on TikTok live asking for money on a
regular basis, like not selling stuff, just virtually panhanding. It's absurd.
I would never give anybody who's anybody who's looking for money for a funeral.
I just it sounds so scammy, like you're playing the sympathy car, like,
oh, yeah, my brother just died and we don't have the money
to bury him, and we can't retrieve the body until blah blah blah,
No, sorry not. There's a risk with any any kind of asking for
money situation. So if it's for a funeral, if it's on a TikTok
live, or even if it's a person with a sign, you never know
exactly what they're going to use the money for. Yeah, guarantee that.
Yeah, I just don't, Jenny, No, I don't. Yeah,
plan in simple, I don't as simil as that. And I fell for
one. I'm certain it was a scam. A year or so ago,
I was in the grocery store in Colorado and a woman comes up to me,
and she's not natively. She spoke with a thick accent, so she's
from somewhere else. She's got what looked like her mom with her into like
a five year old kid, and she's got a cart about half full of
groceries. Excuse me, sir, can you help me buy some groceries?
And I firmly told her no, and I walked away. And then I
started thinking about, uh, because you know what, a lot of people
can't afford groceries, and a lot of people are you know, not eating
or they eat, but you know, their kids don't. Their kids eat,
but they don't whatever, And so I felt bad. I thought,
I am fortunate enough, not lucky. It has nothing to do with luck.
I am fortunate enough to have an abundance of money, not a huge
abundance, but I've got so I had a hundred dollar bill in my pocket.
So I gave her a hundred dollar bill and she said, oh,
thank you, bless you, sir, and I felt pretty good about it,
even knowing that it could have been a scam. I was a little
disheartened that she didn't look at it and notice it's a fucking hundred dollars bill,
because that was a really generous give, not just a five. And
she didn't even look at it. She just took it and you know,
pocketed it. And then I told the story on the radio, and so
many people called and said, yeah, that's a total scam. I work
at a grocery store and we have to kick people like that out because they
walk around and harass our customers panhandling for money in the grocery store. So
I'll never do it again. Yeah, but I mean, in that moment,
what if, Like it's always a weird risk regardless, Like what if
she did need money for groceries and you gave her money for groceries? Good
for Yeah, I mean I don't feel terrible about it because I figure that
in some way or another she needed money or she was being forced by someone
to go solicit for money. We got an email from Paula and she sends
in a bunch of pictures from the boat cruise last night. Ah. So,
Paula says, great to meet you guys. I thought i'd share some
pics. Thanks for taking time to visit and take pictures with us. And
I remember Paula, she was very charming, and that's her husband. She
was a big station fan and her husband was a big Shine Doown fan,
So it all worked out really well. There's a picture of you and Jenny
and Paula and Bailey and Vaunt and oh she got one with all of us.
Yeah. So, Paula, it was a pleasure to meet you and
your husband. Hope you had a good time last night. I will assume
you will, Okay, Minnesota, goodbye. Hello, Hope you're all having
a great week. I really enjoyed Tuesday Morning show and have a couple of
thoughts on the Great chicken debate. First of all, you guys are totally
valid saying Chick fil A is not the best chicken. But as a four
and a half year employee of Chick fil A, I do have to set
the record straight on a couple of things. One, while not quite as
big a menu as KFC, Chick fil A does have a pretty expansive venue.
Of course, we have the chicken sandwich, but also a spicy and
grilled sandwich. The chicken does actually taste different. The sandwiches, nuggets,
and strips have slightly different seasonings. The most obvious of the differences between it
is the wait hold on. The most obvious of the differences is between the
and then the sentence actually literally cuts off. Oh no, she says,
actually different. I don't know. The chicken from Colvers is the best.
Oh and I would eat their chicken any day before Chick fil A. Also
a strange question for Jenny. Here we go. I live in Minnesota,
go to school in Wisconsin. Grandma lives in Wisconsin, but I would like
to spend more time there in the summer. Is it just me? Or
do mornings feel different in Minnesota versus Wisconsin? For some reason. To me,
they just have a different vibe. Wisconsin always has felt more dewey and
foggy, while Minnesota feels more windy and light. Maybe I'm crazy, but
some of my friends also feel the same way. What do you think is
someone who has lived in both places? Also congratch Toofont and Bailey for joining
the show. Dart lick from Cassie Well, we're her two words to describe
Wisconsin foggy and dewey, Okay, mornings. I don't know, because I
always stay at my house I grew up in, growing up, so I
feel like it's very nostalgic, and I have the same feeling going back there,
So I don't know that. I almost could compare that because it is
a different feeling because it's the house I grew up in and I walk outside.
So maybe, but I don't, I don't know. It might it
might be just you. I wonder if it's like the hills it's I mean,
isn't Wisconsin far more hilly than I think it is? Is this?
I mean, not in the drive that I do, but a little maybe
a little bit more. I would see people make fun of Wisconsin from Minnesota,
but Wisconsin is gorgeous, a gorgeous state. It really is. I
mean, we have pretty much we as if I still live there. They
have just as many lakes as Minnesota for the most part, So cabin like,
the whole cabin culture is still like very much the same. It's not
much different than Minnesota. Yeah, and it is beautiful. And I've traveled
through Wisconsin one time. We went from here. I think it intersects with
the up of Michigan, doesn't It border on the up of Michigan. So
we didn't take the freeways. We took the back roads and it was just
gorgeous. It was like, Wow, these cool little towns and just the
farmers fields and the hills and the bluffs. It's just beautiful God's country.
It's God's country out there. Next one, Kendras says, first of all,
can you all move your mic stands around and find out which one is
squeaking? If my listening near serves right, I'm betting Jenny's is the squeaky
one. I'll send over some WD forty if Iheartbatia can't pay for it,
I'll move mine first. Nothing, Bailey, nothing, Jenny. Oh,
there was a little squeak. It might be mine. I think it's fine
though, Oh it's Jenny, it's mine. That's fact. And I do
have to move things a lot during the Minnesota Goodbye because I have to look
at a monitor and monitor things while we're doing this. So unfortunately, yeah,
that probably is mine you're hearing. I'm sorry. I try really carefully
because I know it squeaks. To move it in a way that doesn't squeak,
but I am aware that it squeaks. Yeah, we got WD forty
in the back room somewhere. We'll try to remember to take care of it.
And last email. Here we go, it says Dave Jenny Vaunton Bailey.
First of all, love the dynamic and vibes of the show. You're
all killing it. I've been laughing out loud, and when I'm in public
places listening, I look like a crazy person. I love that. Sarah,
thank you. Today on the show you called dairy Queen. Dave had
to talk to the person off the air, and Jenny said, legally we
got to tell them around the radio. That was just a matter of respect,
you know what I mean. There's somebody sitting there there a professional kind
of identifying who they are, specifically this is the person who answers the phone
at Dairy Queen. And I wanted to be respectful because if she didn't want
to be on the radio, and I didn't want her to act as a
representative of dairy Queen. So in other words, I didn't want to like,
say, Hi, what's your name Ronda? Hi, Ronda, we're
on the radio on KATIEWB. What do you do over dairy Queen? Oh?
Well, I answer the phone's Ronda? Tell us whether the cherry coat
dip is still available? What if Ronda's wrong? What if she gets anxiety
because she doesn't want to be I didn't. I did want to be a
jerk, so I kind of took her off the air. So good question,
Thanks all, love you, darts and licks from Sarah. Sarah,
you nasty. Thank you very much, And that's going to wrap it up
for the Minnesota Goodbye. I appreciate all the emails, and we have several
leftover, and I hate when we have leftovers because sometimes they get lost in
the shuffle. But I will try my best, try my best get back
to you on tomorrow's Minnesota Goodbye Ryan Show at KDWB dot com.