WEBVTT

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Front matter of Private Pinkerton Millionaire.
This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox

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recordings are in the public domain.
For more information or to volunteer, please

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visit LibriVox dot org. Private Pinkerton
Millionaire by Harold Ashton. Front matter,

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epigraph and introduction. The lad I
love is a soldier, lad a hoe

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Never be sad, Never be sad. He's sailed away far over the sea.

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He's sailed away to fight for me, for his king and his country

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over the sea. And maybe some
day he'll come back to me, my

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soldier, lad a Hoe, Never
be sad Jesse's song from Brownie Boy Introduction.

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The sketches and stories in this little
volume must be read as fiction,

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but they are all or nearly all, founded on fact, and built up

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from scenes and incidents I myself either
witnessed or heard firsthand during my sojourn in

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France and Flanders as special correspondent for
a London morning newspaper, Private Pinkerton.

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I met in the flesh several times, a gallant young English gentleman, if

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there ever was one, A cool
and clever fighter, a dead shot,

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but shy as a schoolgirl when it
came to the telling of his own adventures.

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I have rarely met a millionaire so
engaging, so kindly, so well

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loved by the boys, but so
courageous withal of course, Pinky is not

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his real name. The tale of
Brownie Boy is a true tale. Pinky

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related it to me at the lad's
funeral, when under the soft sunshine of

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a perfect summer's day, they laid
him to rest, and the village school

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children strewed wild flowers upon his grave. Signed Harold Ashton Hampstead, nineteen sixteen,

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end of Front Matter, Section one
of Private Pinkerton Millionaire by Harold Ashton.

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This libri box recording is in the
public domain. Chapters one and two.

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Chapter one the Idyl of Skeleton Tree, your booked relief sniper for Windy

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Nook, said the major, handing
Private Pinkerton his orders very well, Sir,

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replied Private Pinkerton, saluting stiffly.
A thrill ran down his spine.

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He breathed quickly and felt himself swaying
slightly as his heels clicked to the salute

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Relief for Windy Nook. It seemed
too good to be true. This was

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the first big job for Pinkerton of
the something rifles, Pink at Eton,

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Pinky at Oxford, and Pinky still
in the great world, at home away

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in dear old Blighty, where he
was a millionaire, with castles and deer

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forests and salmon streams and all that
sort of thing to play with. And

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strange to say, Pinky yet again
in the rough and tumble, the mud

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and dust, the desperation and death
of Flanders, just a grizzlehead, grimy

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faced private with never a soul,
dreaming of his identity. Still Pinky,

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that's windy Nook, continued the major, indicating with a flick of his hand,

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a sort of grayish promontory on the
horizon, topped by a skeleton tree.

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And that's your tree, twigget.
Sniper Smithson's been there for some days

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now, solitary confinement, Potton the
Prussian parisher. But since lunchtime there's been

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no sign of Smithsonian activity. He
may be oversleeping himself, or he may

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be quite so, Sir, Private
Pinkerton nodded another thrill trickled. He looked

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across to Windy Nook with increased interest, proprietorial interest. A German howitzer shall

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bursts smack over the tree at that
very instant, the ragged skeleton seemed to

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shiver and shrug its naked shoulders under
the detonation. A hot shop said the

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major, Hey, what well,
good luck and good hunting. Private Pinkerton

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waited until moonrise to make his journey
to Windy Nook, for daylight traveling in

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that region meant certain death. The
moon was near, the full misty and

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uncanny. In the ghostly light,
she shed and now and again entirely blotted

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out in a moving curtain of somber
cloud. The trenchers, German and British

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alike were shrouded in a miasmic film, which made of this grim akerage a

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goblin land for demon happenings. Just
the night for a trip to Windy Nook,

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and so to Skeleton Tree. Private
Pinkerton, millionaire, crawled and crept

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and crouched with one of his spare
socks he had but two pairs in the

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wide wide world, wrapped round the
lock of his rifle to keep the damp

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out, his bandolier stuffed with cartridges, his tucker slung at his shoulder,

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and something he couldn't for the moment
make out what, Something hard in his

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inside pocket, against which his heart
was beating up like the third of a

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drum. Halfway to the tree,
he rested for a spell and listened again

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to the drumming of his heart.
It wasn't funk or fright or fear.

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Private Pinkerton was just tuned up to
concert pitch, that's all. A full

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orchestra of sensations was alive inside him. The band was playing the overture to

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the Grand Opera of Windy Nook,
was racing allegro. But the drum,

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the big drum, was a little
too persistent, so he shoved his hand

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into his pocket and pulled it out. It was his checkbook. What earthly

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rite had a common trench tommy with
a checkbook, except for drawing a blank

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check on the bank of paradise or
perdition. Anyway, you never know your

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luck in this dismantled world. So
Private Pinkerton, with a grim chuckle to

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himself, stowed the book away in
an easier pocket and crawled on under the

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shifting light of the moon. Dawn, cold and gray was breaking. As

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he reached Skeleton Tree. The country
all round was bleached and desolate. Not

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a sound, not a movement,
not even the squeal of a shell or

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the snarl of a rifle to break
the spell. Skeleton tree leaned over in

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the half light like an old old
man with nutcracker jaws, decrepit and palsied

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up. In the branches, there
was a smudge of something dimly visible,

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whether human or not, living or
dead. Private Pinkerton could not, for

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the life of him tell, so
he climbed the tree to make sure.

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In the increasing light, the smudge
materialized into something definite. A swaddle of

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khaki lying along the lower limb,
a pale face, a limp hand with

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a smear of blood across the back
of it, a rusted rifle, and

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just below a little heap of empty
cartridge cases. Is that you Smithson?

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It's all right, brand I'm your
relief if you ask Smithson, Yes,

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a horse whisper came from one end
of the heap of khake. Have you

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brought any ammunition? I am clean
out. Jis my blasted luck. Plugged

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one of the bloyers with my last
cartridge. But I showed too much of

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myself and the sausage he let fly
at the same time. Got you yes,

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and not half got me neither mate
pipped done in mate, wallop through

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the lung. I've about a quart
of blood already. There's a pull down

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there. NOI big enough to sail
a toy boat in. You'll be able

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to see it when it gets a
bit lighter. Heave up alongside. There's

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room enough for two two's company mate. There never was a truer word spoke

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than that. Have you got a
drop of suffer a drink? I'm that

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dry. I could swig a ditch
for Private Pinkerton crawled up the rough trunk

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and lay down by the side of
Sniper Smithson giving him the drink. His

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soul was craving for anything I can
do for you. It was quite clear

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that the man was dying, Quite
clear too that he himself knew it.

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You have friends at home. If
I can do you a little, yes,

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you ken mate. Lois still beside
me, and keep your eyes skin

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for that toughter reads over there.
You'll see it clear enough. As soon

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as the sun gets up. The
gent what did me in? Is still

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there? And he pulls a very
pretty trigger, So look out, plug

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him and I'll die happy mate,
in about an hour. I shall last

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till then, if I lie still
and breathe judicious I'll show you him another

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drop for God's sake. Thanks,
you're a peal the right sort. I'd

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like to have just one more go
at him myself, if only the sun

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would hurry up. But it seems
to be getting darker instead of lighter.

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And I'm dog tired, mate,
dog dog tired. Then lie still and

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go to sleep for a spell,
Old pell, said Private Pinkie, making

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a pillow with his arm for the
dying soldier and speaking softly and soothingly.

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Don't you worry about our friend over
there. I'll settle his hash right enough.

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I'm pretty nippy with the rifle,
though, I'd prefer a rocketing Pheasants

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and a dose of number three any
day. But that chap over there's a

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sitter and I'll plug him, you
bet. Pheasants, murmured the dying man.

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The long tails my word, mate, that didn't half remind me of

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him. Thornycroft and the Drive,
the finest poach and pitch in the hole

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of Norfolk. Thornycroft, the Drive, cried the millionaire. Why that's my

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my he paused, as a vision
of the old days flashed into his mind.

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Smithson, Smithson, that's name came
back too, that mean little poacher

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with the ferretie who could hit anything
with his old breech loader, a wild

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hopeless rascal, but adored by his
mother as all wild hopeless rascals are.

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Smithson by gum, the weak whisper
of Sniper Smithson broke into his meditations.

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You're part of the world too,
mate, you know Thorny, Yes,

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mate, I know Thorny ever poached
the drive. No such luck, mate,

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replied the millionaire with a sigh.
You can't very well poach on your

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own preserves. I own the show, the whole bloom and show mate,

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the whole bloom and show mate.
Well, I'm the dying soldier laughed.

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It was a one specter of a
laugh. What are you laughing at,

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asked Private Pinkerton, as he wiped
the damp lips of the man lying in

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his arms. At you and me
together in this shimuzzle, mate, a

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cock pheasant and a cock sparra roostin
in the same old tree. It'd make

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a hedgehog laugh. Go to sleep, old chap, said Pinkerton. I'll

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call you at sunrise and then we
can both have a go at the beggar

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over there, all right, mayte
and don't forget, And as Sniper Smithson

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slept like a tired child in its
mother's arms, the sun rose in a

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blaze of splendor in the light of
it. Private Pinkerton softly disengaged his arm,

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pulled out the check book and inscribed, carefully, therein worldly solace for

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the old mother of the sinner who
lay by his side, doubtless streaming of

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the long tails, and the old
sweet wickednesses of Thornycroft, and the drive.

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He folded the check addressed it distinctly. He was a careful, methodical

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millionaire, as most of them are, and stowed it away for safety in

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an inner pocket. In case,
he said, as he peered through the

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branches at the tuft of reeds across
the way, in case the beggar who

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pipped my mate should pip me,
By God, there he is. There

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was a slight movement in the reed
tuft a head, a German head,

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and no more appeared. Private Pinkerton
took a long, steady sight under the

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sunshine. Boy got him certain you've
pipped him. It was the voice of

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Sniper Smithson, a lazy, half
awake voice. You might have called me,

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mate, lie still whole bird.
No need to worry any longer.

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It's all serene, said Private Pinkerton. I ain't worryin, whispered the soldier,

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I'm only laughing. Tell the boys
when you get back, tell them

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with my compliments. It's it's a
damn funny world. And so, saying

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Sniper Smithson, passed out of it. That concludes chapter one of Private Pinkerton

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Millionaire. The section continues with chapter
two, the Battle of the Bagpipes.

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Hot, dusty and tired. The
patrol party, headed by Sergeant Major Singleton,

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who was known as Pants because his
name happened to suggest something in the

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underwear line, crowded into the small
estamina in the little old Norman village of

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Body, and called lustily for beer. The landlady, a fat, motherly

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dame, kissed the whole lot affectionately, beginning with pants and finishing up with

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a left and right upon the blushing
cheeks of Private Pinkerton brought out the foaming

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tankards and surrendered joyfully. The surrender
was necessary. This estaminee was needed urgently

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for the billet of Captain Crabtree,
who would be along presently, and Captain

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Crabtree's compliments. He was very hungry, in fact, born hungry. Could

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Madame oblige by laying in a stock
of new laid eggs, ah we Madame

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would be charmed. Her whole farmyard
was at the disposal of the grand heroes

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of the British Army. She flung
open the back door. There entered a

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lively chorus of cackles, quacks,
crows, chucks and clucks. Look and

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listen, messieurs, My poultry even
now seem to know what is required of

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them. They are laying their hardest
lechre poulet deenn bong, said the Sergeant

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Major, and hasten you mompety went
on the buxom Dame, turning to Pinkerton,

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haysen you amidst the feathered choristers and
collect their tribute whilst it is still

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warm. Meanwhile, Messieurs, I
will set about preparing the house a lawn.

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The millionaire had collected his capful of
what he considered to be the newest

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of the new LAIDs, and was
stepping very carefully toward the estaminae again when

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earthquake and eclipse burst all around him. The roof of the hen house collapsed

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with the clatter of smashed crockery.
Something whistled over his head like the noise

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of a mighty rushing wind. And
what a moment before had been the happiest

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poultry run in northern France was now
a pitiful hash of blood and feathers.

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Most of the flower of Madame's gallant
flock had laid their last egg in this

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world. A German shell had wrought
this havoc. Of the more fragile shells

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which Pinkerton carried into the house,
not one was even cracked. There were

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no raw edges to Pinki's nerve.
Yet did I air something break outside,

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inquired the Sergeant Major, with his
flagon at half cock. Yes, Sir,

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replied Pinkerton. Not the Captain's eggs. I trust it was an omelet,

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se said he wandered. But eggs
eggs, Private Pinkerton, here they

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are, Sir, intact, said
Private Pinkerton, placing the cap down on

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the table very tenderly. And that
little disturbance in the backyard Germans, Sir,

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just like their infernal cheek, muttered
the Sergeant Major. After our Captain's

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lightly boiled two and a half minuts, he finished his aisle and strode out

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into the dismantled backyard to reconnoiter.
Yes, he said, on his return,

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Germans right enough, coming up and
over Rand to steal a march on

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us many, Sir, only about
fifteen hundred Fasand replied Sergeant Major Singleton casually,

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I don't know whether to stay here
and older players. He gazed half

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dealtfully upon the seven stalwarts gathered around
him, or whether to hexacu a strategicoimean

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movement to the rear. Perhaps,
all things considered, we had better do

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a bunk. It's a grievous shame
to leave all that good beer, Madame

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la monsieur on cord de la petite
bass syllaboo plate, and having en cord

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to their heart's content, the gallant's
little patrol stole cautiously out of the front

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door, as another shell came up
with a roar and buried itself in the

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great Norman tower of the adjoining church, which swallowed the pill with the ease

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of an elephant bolting a bun.
Private Pinkerton stayed behind to cash the eggs.

200
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Then he rejoined his companions and scuttled
over the crest of the hill.

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At the very moment the enemy patrol
entered the village at the other end,

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they took speedy and complete possession.
The church tower was rigged up as a

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signaling station, and by the time
the sun was setting in an indignant blaze

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of flame and fury over distant Armontiere
Madame, to her intense mortification, found

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herself enrolled, reluctant handmaiden at the
service of the brutal bosh in her own

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00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:34.400
estaminae. She fed them on her
own victims, the dead hens from her

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00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:42.119
decimated poultry run, and as she
cooked, she shed tears, tears of

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anger rather than grief, into the
casserole. The coming night betokened riot and

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00:25:51.559 --> 00:25:59.519
revelry. Silver helmets flashed, and
red fat faces glowed under the lamplight,

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00:26:00.759 --> 00:26:08.359
hocks and hicks mingled in bibulous chorus. Not so very far away, the

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gallants British Patrol of eight were morosely, nay savagely, discussing the situation.

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They gloomed along under the fretful moonshine, seeking and seeking vainly for some plan

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whereby they might recapture the lost position
and save a few eggs to pacify the

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00:26:33.240 --> 00:26:44.240
delicate palette of Captain crabtree. Desultory
fighting hereabouts during the last few days had

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00:26:44.359 --> 00:26:51.440
strewn the surrounding country with some remnants, dead and alive of the hard pressed

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00:26:51.640 --> 00:27:00.799
but unquenchable British Army. Providence directed
Private Pinkerton's weary steps to one of them,

217
00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:07.720
a Scottish piper of huge, goliath
girth, raptulee, snoring amid the

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00:27:07.799 --> 00:27:15.759
ruins of a pig stye, with
his pipes still cuddled beneath his brawny arms,

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00:27:15.799 --> 00:27:22.640
and a vast litter of empty bully
tins lying around him. Yee,

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00:27:22.960 --> 00:27:30.359
gods, what an appetite, mused
Pinkerton, surveying with increasing wonder the empty

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00:27:30.440 --> 00:27:37.880
tins. Then an idea suddenly smote
him, smote him hard under the fifth

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rib, a wild mad hair and
scarum. Idea, but an idea,

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00:27:47.240 --> 00:27:53.559
he kicked. The sleeping piper.
Awake, Jock, Jock, he cried

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00:27:53.839 --> 00:28:00.799
to the blinking giants. Have you
enough breath in that great gasoma of yours

225
00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:06.799
to blow like hell for the wee
space at ten minutes? If you have,

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then there's a fiver for ye.
For a fiver, replied the piper,

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00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:19.119
now thoroughly awake to the situation,
having been struck in his tender spot.

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00:28:21.119 --> 00:28:23.839
For a fiver, i'd blow the
back of my head. Oh ah

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00:28:25.599 --> 00:28:30.200
ay, and you ain't a boot, then help me to collect some of

230
00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:37.920
these tens and come along quick and
join the boys. The Devil's going to

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00:28:37.039 --> 00:28:44.200
dance tonight, laddie, and you
shall lead the giddy Scottish. I am

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00:28:44.319 --> 00:28:51.440
mad, inquired the scott taking a
great deep breath. Are you mad?

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00:28:51.440 --> 00:28:56.640
We are Devil's dancing? And are
that I'm naboon? For hell? Thank

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00:28:56.799 --> 00:29:04.960
ye? Raging, ramping, roaring
mad, cried Pinkerton. Where all stark,

235
00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:11.599
staring lunatics tonight, and all you've
to do is to blow like mad.

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00:29:12.039 --> 00:29:18.119
The campbells are coming, Annie Laurie, Bornie Dundee, any old thing.

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00:29:18.759 --> 00:29:23.960
As soon as you get the signal, this is going to beat cock

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fighting jock, My lad will ye
and a five pound note into the bargain

239
00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:40.039
one pooned in advance, said the
cautious highlander, And the remainder handed over

240
00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:45.319
upon the levery of the goods,
and it's a bargain, hell or otherwise.

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00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:53.359
Solemnly, the twain shook hands on
the transaction, then loaded up with

242
00:29:53.480 --> 00:30:02.200
empty tins and the pipes tuned for
the fourthcoming Fray, Private Pinkerton and Piper

243
00:30:02.279 --> 00:30:08.920
mcquirk of the ninety ninth Kilties sought
and found the Sulky patrol just as the

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00:30:08.920 --> 00:30:17.799
moon was setting. By midnight,
the German staff, swelling in Madame's neat

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00:30:18.079 --> 00:30:26.079
estiminae, had reached the solemn owlish
state of drunkenness, nodding like Mandarin's,

246
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:33.720
dribbling like babes. Most of them
were too sleepy and sodden even to strafe

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00:30:33.799 --> 00:30:42.240
the miserable Englishes. They lay back, unbuttoned and gross, snorting like pigs.

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00:30:44.920 --> 00:30:52.720
Suddenly, from amongst the churchyard tombs
outside the most unearthly hubbub broke loose,

249
00:30:53.400 --> 00:31:00.079
fiendish noises never heard before or since
on this earth filled the air,

250
00:31:02.359 --> 00:31:10.119
crash upon crash, clatter, overwhelming
clatter, yells, screams, the flickering

251
00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:17.039
of ghoulish lights in which ghosts danced
and gibbered, And above and overall,

252
00:31:17.640 --> 00:31:25.480
the frantic, hellish scream of ten
thousand souls in writhing torment. That was

253
00:31:25.559 --> 00:31:32.359
the satanic bagpipe serenade of Piper mcquirk, with a pressure to the square inch

254
00:31:32.839 --> 00:31:41.000
behind his endeavor. No Piper mortal
or immortal ever equalled before or since.

255
00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:49.440
Frightened out of their wits, the
boozed and utterly bewildered Germans tumbled, pell

256
00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:56.440
mell out of the stamina, only
to meet and retreat in mortal dread from

257
00:31:56.440 --> 00:32:04.279
a tarring specter of the Brocken,
dancing half naked in the glare and emitting

258
00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:09.680
noises awful enough to make the hair
of the sphinx stand on end. In

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00:32:09.759 --> 00:32:20.160
a word, Piper mcquirk earning with
magnificent endeavor his five pound note, and

260
00:32:20.519 --> 00:32:27.880
behind him Private Pinkerton clashing maniac symbols, composed of a couple of bully beef

261
00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:35.599
tins, supported by Sergeant Major Singleton, who simply howled and waved his long

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00:32:35.799 --> 00:32:42.000
arms, and in the rear the
remainder of the patrol, avenging angels,

263
00:32:42.039 --> 00:32:51.279
piling horror upon horror with mouth organs
and mutilated meat tins. It was enough.

264
00:32:52.119 --> 00:32:58.599
No Germans ever ran faster than these
scared roisterers. Not a shot was

265
00:32:58.680 --> 00:33:04.519
fired on either side, but in
less than five minutes, never a bosh

266
00:33:04.640 --> 00:33:09.160
was left within half a mile of
body, and a swift and scared patrol

267
00:33:09.759 --> 00:33:15.920
was speeding eastward to go and tell
the Kaiser that the sky was falling and

268
00:33:16.039 --> 00:33:22.960
the end of the world at hand. Far away. The heavy artillery of

269
00:33:23.079 --> 00:33:37.640
both sides heard the commotion and opened
fire boom boom, boom into the astonished

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00:33:37.799 --> 00:33:45.240
night. Our brave patrol, utterly
and absolutely blown, lay snug, though

271
00:33:45.359 --> 00:33:53.640
gasping on their heaving bellies, as
the shells streaked overhead. Jock, Jock,

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00:33:54.480 --> 00:34:00.440
you've earned your fiver if ever man
did, panted Pinkerton, as the

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00:34:00.519 --> 00:34:07.760
two heroes reclined side by side waiting
for the duets of shell and shrapnel to

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00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:16.320
cease. Maybe, replied the giant
Scott with a groan. Maybe I've won

275
00:34:16.400 --> 00:34:27.000
the fiver, but I've lost mudbricks. That concludes chapter two of Private Pinkerton

276
00:34:27.199 --> 00:34:40.360
Millionaire and is also the end of
section one Section two of Private Pinkerton Millionaire

277
00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:49.760
by Harold Ashton. This LibriVox recording
is in the public domain. Chapters three

278
00:34:50.039 --> 00:34:58.280
and four. Chapter three, Brownie
Boy, there's a girl at home,

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00:34:59.159 --> 00:35:06.400
began, ay boy. Then he
sighed a portentous sigh and carefully tore away

280
00:35:06.760 --> 00:35:14.679
the top of a packers of woodbines. Ever Gasper pink said, he suddenly

281
00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:22.000
ashamed of his streak of sentiment,
and switching off the conversation into another channel

282
00:35:22.159 --> 00:35:31.280
well slipped in Pinkerton encouragingly as he
accepted the gift, and tomorrow Brownie Boy

283
00:35:31.440 --> 00:35:40.000
took a mighty lungful of the spluttering
cigarette. Tomorrow's a birthday nineteen and never

284
00:35:40.079 --> 00:35:47.159
been kissed except by her love and
George and her family and relations which don't

285
00:35:47.239 --> 00:35:53.159
count. When I get home again
to Bloighte with half my face blowed away

286
00:35:53.559 --> 00:36:00.519
and the Victoria Cross, I don't
think in my left hand trouser pot when

287
00:36:00.639 --> 00:36:06.920
that miracle comes off, Pinky,
Jesse and me are going to get turned

288
00:36:06.960 --> 00:36:13.639
off at Saint George's and over square
with the Yellelujah chorus to give us a

289
00:36:13.800 --> 00:36:19.199
send off and a snug little fish
and chip shop to keep the abbey going.

290
00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:24.599
However, that's neither here nor there, as the sausage said to the

291
00:36:24.679 --> 00:36:30.719
shell which went between his legs.
And it's a long wait the Tipperary,

292
00:36:30.840 --> 00:36:38.440
and the present problem is out to
get Jess a birthday souvenir, something bright

293
00:36:38.519 --> 00:36:45.119
and shiny. There's a little shop
window in the app where we skeltered through

294
00:36:45.239 --> 00:36:52.800
yesterday, a hand gallop there being
Germans about where I saw a diamond necklace

295
00:36:52.199 --> 00:37:01.159
ticked it up at sullenough price five
Frank's pinky dirt price even for diamonds in

296
00:37:01.239 --> 00:37:07.480
these days. I guess the bullet
owl in the window pane saw allowed the

297
00:37:07.559 --> 00:37:14.880
price. No luck, too busy
to stop. But I'll be passing that

298
00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:20.920
way again to night, and I'll
bring the sparkler's back DV or not.

299
00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:28.559
Bye bye, Pinky, And now
then Ginger, lad, and come over,

300
00:37:29.400 --> 00:37:34.719
We're off on the giddy ran down
again. Whoa steady, steady old

301
00:37:34.760 --> 00:37:42.559
horse, Ginger winnied, lovingly,
snuggling his velvet nose under his master's left

302
00:37:42.639 --> 00:37:50.159
ear. Goodbye and good luck to
the burglary brownie boy, said Pinkerton.

303
00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:57.519
It's no crip crack, and I'm
are but straight business, replied the scout,

304
00:37:58.440 --> 00:38:04.519
and tightening the girths, he vaulted
into the saddle and pattered the arching

305
00:38:04.679 --> 00:38:09.639
neck of the rat tiled charger who
had carried him so bravely and so far

306
00:38:10.199 --> 00:38:17.880
on many desperate chasers. Gingef for
pluck, he laughed over his shoulder as

307
00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:24.360
he rode away. My compliments to
the Royal Engineered gents and asked him to

308
00:38:24.519 --> 00:38:30.599
be good enough to keep the post
bag open until the last moment. Valuable

309
00:38:30.679 --> 00:38:42.119
consignment of precious stones, addressed lant
Street borough S Tatar boys, and off

310
00:38:42.159 --> 00:38:46.679
he rode as fine and fearless a
figure as ever sat on a horse.

311
00:38:49.639 --> 00:38:54.039
Now, Private Brown was the pet
of his regiment. He was only a

312
00:38:54.119 --> 00:39:01.119
boy, just eighteen, and that's
why everybody called him Brownie Boy, from

313
00:39:01.199 --> 00:39:07.559
the officer commanding down to the cook. He was a trooper in the something

314
00:39:07.800 --> 00:39:15.880
Hussars. And whilst most of the
cavalry horses and men were eating their heads

315
00:39:15.920 --> 00:39:22.719
off in billets behind the line in
the Castro neighborhood, before the tremendous turmoil

316
00:39:22.840 --> 00:39:28.960
of the First Battle of Epra had
burst over Flanders, Brownie, to his

317
00:39:29.159 --> 00:39:37.159
joy, found himself detailed off for
scouting duties. He could see it anything

318
00:39:37.239 --> 00:39:42.760
with four legs and a tail,
and he could ride it anywhere. He

319
00:39:43.199 --> 00:39:50.519
and his rat rudded Nag were always
game for desperate endeavor into the jaws of

320
00:39:50.599 --> 00:39:55.400
death. These two would dance as
merrily as if the adventure were nothing more

321
00:39:55.519 --> 00:40:02.119
than a steeple chase. Before the
joy horse could snap whisk, they'd be

322
00:40:02.239 --> 00:40:08.920
through them and away. Lucky it
was, indeed for the horse that he

323
00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:16.599
had been docked another six inches of
horsair on Old Ginger's waggler. Brownie would

324
00:40:16.639 --> 00:40:22.480
say, with a twinkle of his
bright eyes, and we should have been

325
00:40:22.599 --> 00:40:29.719
nipped many a time. The pair
board a charmed life. The Goddess of

326
00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:37.079
good luck had waved her wand over
them. Nothing could harm them until a

327
00:40:37.239 --> 00:40:43.599
telephone wire ran from the observation tower
on the crest of the little hill,

328
00:40:44.119 --> 00:40:49.880
four miles north of the Eppe,
down to the billets where Private's Pinkerton and

329
00:40:50.039 --> 00:40:58.559
his crowd were resting. Sergeant Major
Singleton was, as usual, improving the

330
00:40:58.760 --> 00:41:05.719
shining hour by reeling off a commanding
lecture on tactics. When the bell tinkled

331
00:41:06.119 --> 00:41:16.320
and four words trembled over the wire. Enemy outpost entering. Yeap oho,

332
00:41:17.079 --> 00:41:24.280
remarked the Sergeant Major. This slect
chad, my lads is postponed. Signy

333
00:41:24.519 --> 00:41:36.679
dye. A taxi sheltered pants,
three gammage growlers, each with its flag

334
00:41:36.840 --> 00:41:42.920
up as if accosting for a fair
along the shell swept highway. Happened by

335
00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:49.719
the merest chance to come along at
this very moment. It might have been

336
00:41:49.800 --> 00:41:58.880
the strand Old Pants bundled five men
into each taxi, and jumping himself into

337
00:41:58.920 --> 00:42:05.239
the first one, cried out to
the driver, niep full pelt, and

338
00:42:05.719 --> 00:42:12.199
never mind the speed limit, right, sir. The driver clapped down the

339
00:42:12.360 --> 00:42:19.840
little flag, spake the bell,
and down the long white road they tore

340
00:42:20.360 --> 00:42:27.519
in a whirling cloud of dust.
No sign of war. Peace lay over

341
00:42:27.559 --> 00:42:35.400
the country like a benediction. The
gentle occupations of husbandry were going on as

342
00:42:35.519 --> 00:42:42.119
usual in the fields. The birds
were caroling their evening hymn. The sky

343
00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:46.000
was blue and serene, and not
a gun growled out of the mist,

344
00:42:46.440 --> 00:42:54.920
which enveloped and hid distant Armontiere from
view. Pinkerton heard two of the Tommies

345
00:42:54.960 --> 00:43:04.280
in the taxi immediately behind him burst
into poetic melody, led by Private Winkles,

346
00:43:04.400 --> 00:43:10.920
who, as he frequently declared,
was a while on hymns. Nigh

347
00:43:12.159 --> 00:43:28.039
is draw orin nigh shadows of the
evenin stale across the sky. Eye Now

348
00:43:28.239 --> 00:43:35.119
then altogether, boys, there was
a sudden turn in the road, And

349
00:43:35.440 --> 00:43:39.400
before they were aware of it,
the boys, in the very middle of

350
00:43:40.079 --> 00:43:45.199
now the day is over, found
themselves in the street of the village of

351
00:43:45.440 --> 00:43:51.960
Niebe, with the snarl of rifle
bullets in their ears, and a strange

352
00:43:52.079 --> 00:44:00.320
scene of melodrama. Immediately before them
on a rearing, plunging horse sat Brownie

353
00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:07.079
Boy, managing the lashing beast with
one hand and firing his rifle like a

354
00:44:07.199 --> 00:44:15.480
revolver with the other, while around
him danced and capered a horde of bewildered,

355
00:44:15.719 --> 00:44:22.360
savage Germans. They were sure of
their prey, these merciless, murdering

356
00:44:22.480 --> 00:44:29.440
huns, but they were afraid to
close in. Brownie Boy and his gallant

357
00:44:29.480 --> 00:44:37.559
horse were holding the lot, both
fighting magnificently. The villagers, old men,

358
00:44:38.000 --> 00:44:45.320
women, maids and children were crowding
at their doors, watching the scene,

359
00:44:45.440 --> 00:44:52.760
entranced, mesmerized, heedless of the
bullets whining around them. One woman,

360
00:44:53.280 --> 00:45:00.960
supremely unconscious of the bizarre effects of
the picture she created, had hoisted

361
00:45:00.960 --> 00:45:07.360
her baby on her shoulder. As
Pinkerton leaped from his car, jamming a

362
00:45:07.440 --> 00:45:13.280
clip of cartridges into the magazine of
his rifle, he saw a German officer

363
00:45:13.599 --> 00:45:20.119
standing well out of the way of
the turmoil and deliberately taking a photograph of

364
00:45:20.239 --> 00:45:25.679
the scene. Pinkerton dropped on one
knee, took a swift sight, aiming

365
00:45:25.760 --> 00:45:34.360
just under the shining helmet, and
fired as the camera clicked. Ah got

366
00:45:34.400 --> 00:45:39.800
you at any rate, use swine
sheltered Pinkerton as the officer jerked up his

367
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:46.039
arms, tossing the camera high in
the air as he fell, and then

368
00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:54.239
to Brownie. He yelled a fierce
yell of encouragement, Brownie Boy, keep

369
00:45:54.280 --> 00:46:00.519
it up, lad, keep it
up, We're here. The taxi troop

370
00:46:00.960 --> 00:46:07.440
leapt out and ran for the assault, not daring to fire for fear of

371
00:46:07.559 --> 00:46:15.280
hitting Brownie. The plucky scout,
hearing the rallying cry and recognizing the voice,

372
00:46:15.960 --> 00:46:21.960
waved his free arm and roared back, good old Pinge, Come on,

373
00:46:22.159 --> 00:46:28.840
boys, come on, I've got
the di'monds lad. With true huntsman's

374
00:46:28.840 --> 00:46:35.280
skill, he lifted Ginger to another
charge. The grand old horse, in

375
00:46:35.400 --> 00:46:42.840
his downward plunge, smote down to
Germans with a left right battering ramble from

376
00:46:42.920 --> 00:46:49.199
his fore hoofs. One man's head
was smashed to pulp. The other's shoulder

377
00:46:49.400 --> 00:46:57.360
was shattered, but it was Old
Ginger's last fight. A bullet fired at

378
00:46:57.440 --> 00:47:02.400
random hit him under the eye,
and he fell with a crash backwards with

379
00:47:02.519 --> 00:47:10.519
his master underneath. Pinioned and helpless
with one arm broken, Brownie Boy met

380
00:47:10.519 --> 00:47:19.280
his end without flinching. A dozen
cowardly bayonets were plunged into him before old

381
00:47:19.400 --> 00:47:24.320
Pants, Pinkerton and the rest of
the boys, with hoarse cries of anger,

382
00:47:24.920 --> 00:47:30.800
could fling themselves upon the murderers.
It was a fight to the death,

383
00:47:31.559 --> 00:47:37.800
death to the Germans, cold steel
against cold steel, with the odds

384
00:47:37.840 --> 00:47:45.719
fairly even, and no hun ever
whelp can stand up against the lightning thrust,

385
00:47:45.280 --> 00:47:52.760
the cut and come again of the
British bayonet. Swift and bloody retribution

386
00:47:53.079 --> 00:48:00.960
fell upon the murderers of Brownie Boy. One or two crawled away like wounded

387
00:48:00.039 --> 00:48:08.400
rabbits, but the others were all
dead, dead before their victim. Brownie

388
00:48:08.400 --> 00:48:15.280
Boy was still breathing as Pinkerton pillowed
the brave scout's head upon his knee and

389
00:48:15.559 --> 00:48:23.559
wiped tenderly the cold clammy lips.
Tell the boys, I did my best,

390
00:48:23.719 --> 00:48:30.800
Pinky, he said, an old
ginger too. He fought like a

391
00:48:30.880 --> 00:48:37.039
good plutton. Don't let them make
cats meat of old Ginger. Plant us

392
00:48:37.079 --> 00:48:43.800
alongside of one another. And the
diamonds, Pinky, the diamonds for Jessee.

393
00:48:44.840 --> 00:48:49.440
I've got them all right, feel
in my inside pocket, pink,

394
00:48:49.519 --> 00:48:55.199
old Bird. Sorry to bother you, but my arms broke. Of course,

395
00:48:55.719 --> 00:49:05.320
they ain't real diamonds. For four
fifty but Jess won't care. She'll

396
00:49:05.400 --> 00:49:14.079
understand. Pinkerton extracted the little packet
of glass beads and transferred it with great

397
00:49:14.159 --> 00:49:19.840
care to his own person. Think
you'll manage to catch the post, pink

398
00:49:20.880 --> 00:49:24.960
I'll catch it, or bust old
man, leave it to me, said

399
00:49:25.039 --> 00:49:31.440
Pinkerton. Thanks, you're at hof. I'll put in a word for you,

400
00:49:31.760 --> 00:49:39.199
Pinky, old pal wherever I'm going, I guess it it will be

401
00:49:39.239 --> 00:49:47.800
a different Allelujah chorus from the one
I was counting on. The children strewed

402
00:49:47.920 --> 00:49:54.320
many flowers upon the grave in the
little burying ground beyond the village, and

403
00:49:54.599 --> 00:50:01.760
before they had faded, a wooden
cross was planted amid blooms with this memoriam

404
00:50:02.239 --> 00:50:12.239
roughly carved in loving memory of Brownie
Boy and his horse Ginger. What is

405
00:50:12.280 --> 00:50:16.360
the meaning of those English words,
father, said a little girl to the

406
00:50:16.440 --> 00:50:23.400
old village cure, as the two
stood side by side contemplating the scene.

407
00:50:24.280 --> 00:50:30.639
It is a tribute, mappetite,
replied the white haired priest to the valor

408
00:50:30.920 --> 00:50:38.920
of two great souls, requiest cat
in pache. He crossed himself as he

409
00:50:39.039 --> 00:50:49.800
bowed before the simple memorial, Come
my child. That concludes chapter three of

410
00:50:50.119 --> 00:50:59.079
private Pinkerton millionaire. The section continues
with chapter four, My soldier Lad.

411
00:51:00.320 --> 00:51:06.599
Thanks to a bosh bullet hole in
the petrol tank of his car, Pinkerton

412
00:51:06.840 --> 00:51:14.199
missed the post saw and stiff but
unwounded. After his strident bow at practice

413
00:51:14.320 --> 00:51:19.519
in the village street of Nieppe,
over the mutilated body of Brownie Boy,

414
00:51:20.519 --> 00:51:30.239
he tottered into Camp sad overwrought and
completely done. The pathetic little five franc

415
00:51:30.360 --> 00:51:37.119
packet of diamonds for Jesse lay like
Lad at his heart. He had promised

416
00:51:37.119 --> 00:51:44.400
her dying sweetheart to deliver them.
A promise to a dying man was to

417
00:51:44.559 --> 00:51:52.639
Pinkerton a sacred duty. I must
find a way, mused Pinkerton. A

418
00:51:52.840 --> 00:52:00.360
way. Somehow luck found the way. Good fortune. It's the only sweetheart

419
00:52:00.679 --> 00:52:08.079
I ever had declared, the millionaire, and perhaps the last is still faithful.

420
00:52:09.880 --> 00:52:15.119
A huge six foot sixth century stood
at the leather hinged door of the

421
00:52:15.199 --> 00:52:23.880
pigstye in which Pinkerton's colonel happened to
be billeted at this particular period. He

422
00:52:24.079 --> 00:52:31.119
flashed a warning of sharp blue steel
within an inch of Pinkerton's stomach. Alt

423
00:52:31.880 --> 00:52:47.159
says he who goes summoned report Colonel
details outpost engagement, the YEP deaths,

424
00:52:49.119 --> 00:52:58.440
casualties, prisoners, said Pinkerton in
a monotonous undertone, and so dog tired

425
00:52:58.760 --> 00:53:04.480
that he almost fail like leaning up
against the point of the century's bayonet to

426
00:53:04.719 --> 00:53:10.639
rest his utter weariness. He pulled
himself together, however, as he stood

427
00:53:12.039 --> 00:53:20.360
stiff as a new ramrod before Colonel
Cumberpatch. This great man and gallant soldier

428
00:53:20.800 --> 00:53:28.280
was sitting before a rickety table made
from a box labeled Huntley and Palmer's Best

429
00:53:28.360 --> 00:53:36.199
ginger Nuts, signing warrants and requisitions
with a leaky fountain pen, and looking

430
00:53:36.480 --> 00:53:44.639
horribly fierce. His face was a
brick dust red, his grizzled mustache was

431
00:53:44.719 --> 00:53:52.639
erect with rage. An aroma of
pig infolded him and his ginger nuts as

432
00:53:52.679 --> 00:54:00.559
with a garment. He went on
writing, seemingly utterly oblivious of his visitor's

433
00:54:00.679 --> 00:54:08.039
presence. Pinkerton never moved, but
kept up his imitation of a ramrod until

434
00:54:08.119 --> 00:54:14.920
he felt the pins and needles beginning
to stab him and the earthen floor of

435
00:54:14.960 --> 00:54:22.400
the piggery swaying. Then he coughed
a tiny, apologetic cough. The Colonel

436
00:54:22.519 --> 00:54:31.360
looked up his face and angry sunset
glare well he wrapped out. Was it

437
00:54:32.480 --> 00:54:40.119
I have to report, sir,
began Pinkerton, But Colonel Cumberpatch swept him

438
00:54:40.119 --> 00:54:45.760
down with a bellow, how how
dare you come before me, sir,

439
00:54:46.519 --> 00:54:53.519
before me with a face like that? Go and wash it, sir,

440
00:54:54.119 --> 00:55:00.719
this isn't a pigs. Then,
remembering that it wo say pigs, he

441
00:55:00.960 --> 00:55:08.559
spluttered and changed the trend of his
remark. A face like that. Why

442
00:55:08.679 --> 00:55:15.480
haven't you washed it? Because,
sir, and begging your pardon, replied

443
00:55:15.599 --> 00:55:23.960
Pinkerton, greatly daring they happen to
run out of scented soap, and don't

444
00:55:24.000 --> 00:55:29.960
answer me, sir, By gad, sir, haven't you been in the

445
00:55:30.159 --> 00:55:36.880
army long enough to know what discipline
is? These damned terriers, God help

446
00:55:36.920 --> 00:55:44.840
them and me, But I suppose
they don't know any better. Pinkerton suddenly

447
00:55:45.000 --> 00:55:50.920
changed his tone, for getting for
one faithful moment that he was only a

448
00:55:51.000 --> 00:55:57.880
tommy and one of these damned terriers. Look here, Patch, old man,

449
00:55:58.480 --> 00:56:04.280
he said, for the Lord's sake, keep your hair on. The

450
00:56:04.440 --> 00:56:12.320
incensed colonel sprang up in a tempest
of ungovernable fury, racking the ginger nut

451
00:56:12.400 --> 00:56:20.719
boxers as though a shell had exploded
among them. What he yelled, you,

452
00:56:21.440 --> 00:56:30.840
you infernal familiar hound of Satan,
you impertinent sweep, addressing your kernel

453
00:56:30.960 --> 00:56:36.400
as though he were no more than
a fragment of a quolt. Sir,

454
00:56:37.360 --> 00:56:45.800
A counterpane, sir, patch,
indeed, I'll patch you. Why Corporal

455
00:56:45.880 --> 00:56:52.280
Haddock, the tall century was inside
the pisty in a moment, Yes,

456
00:56:52.320 --> 00:56:59.639
sir, he saluted, with a
magnificent sweep of his right hand, bringing

457
00:56:59.639 --> 00:57:06.400
it down with a resounding smack.
Take this man out at once, corporal,

458
00:57:07.159 --> 00:57:14.840
and shoot him again. That's beautiful
salute, Yes, sir at door,

459
00:57:14.920 --> 00:57:22.639
and I presume no at once,
take him away, wash his infernal

460
00:57:22.760 --> 00:57:30.039
face, and then shoot him the
malevolent mackerel. Yes, sir. Corporal

461
00:57:30.079 --> 00:57:38.440
Haddock's face was rock like, inscrutable
as he moved towards Pinkerton, but one

462
00:57:38.519 --> 00:57:46.039
eye flickered in a reassuring wink,
and Pinkerton, wearied beyond further self control,

463
00:57:46.880 --> 00:57:54.440
collapsed in a weak cackle of hysterical
laughter. The world was spinning round

464
00:57:54.519 --> 00:58:01.519
him like an absurd teetotum himself.
The pivot with the pigstye, the kernel,

465
00:58:01.880 --> 00:58:07.039
the ginger nuts, and Corporal Haddock, all swimming by in a silly

466
00:58:07.199 --> 00:58:14.079
sort of dance. He made a
wild grab at one of them, fouled

467
00:58:14.119 --> 00:58:21.079
a biscuit box so suddenly and so
alarmingly imbued with lively motion, and the

468
00:58:21.199 --> 00:58:32.519
rest was darkness, utter and profound
centuries ages eons past. He opened his

469
00:58:32.599 --> 00:58:38.159
eyes at length to find the kernel
bending over him and dosing him with a

470
00:58:38.320 --> 00:58:45.800
hot aromatic mixture of rum and whiskey
out of a cut glass sugar bowl,

471
00:58:45.639 --> 00:58:54.519
and the corporal standing by, statuesque
and immovable as the sphinx. A transformed

472
00:58:54.599 --> 00:59:06.079
kernel, This kind fatherly fierceness us
all vanished the perfect bedside manner. Oh,

473
00:59:06.119 --> 00:59:13.320
my eternal, everlasting aunt, says
he. If it isn't old Pinky

474
00:59:13.559 --> 00:59:22.239
Pinky playing the sublime ridiculous ass and
a stinking piggery masquerading, no sir,

475
00:59:22.119 --> 00:59:30.239
replies Pinkerton, struggling up to a
sitting posture, but still feeling mortally weak

476
00:59:30.360 --> 00:59:36.920
and flabby, No sir, ass
if you like, but playing the game,

477
00:59:37.480 --> 00:59:42.840
and a damn fine game. It
is too patch a beg pardon Colonel

478
00:59:43.920 --> 00:59:50.599
Bubble and squeak, says the colonel, All of a fluster, you of

479
00:59:50.679 --> 00:59:58.039
all men in the world, rolling
in it, absolutely rolling in it here,

480
00:59:58.199 --> 01:00:06.800
corporal. Corporal Haddock came forward the
regulation three paces and saluted again with

481
01:00:07.000 --> 01:00:14.360
imperturbable gravity. What would you do, Corporal Haddock, if you suddenly woke

482
01:00:14.480 --> 01:00:21.960
up and found yourself a millionaire begging
your pardon, Sir, answered the corporal,

483
01:00:22.840 --> 01:00:27.239
I should immediately send out round a
corner for a barrel of beer.

484
01:00:27.440 --> 01:00:32.719
Sir, well, there's some sense
in that, says the colonel. But

485
01:00:34.039 --> 01:00:39.639
with you, Pinkerton, I intend
to stick it out, Sir, declared

486
01:00:39.719 --> 01:00:45.800
the millionaire, taking another swig at
the cut glass sugar bowl and finding it

487
01:00:45.960 --> 01:00:53.360
infinitely invigorating. It's a great game
patch. It beats cock fighting, beats

488
01:00:53.360 --> 01:00:59.719
it hollow. I'll admit I went
in for it at the start, more

489
01:00:59.760 --> 01:01:05.440
for fun, for adventure than anything
else. But it's grown on me.

490
01:01:05.920 --> 01:01:12.400
I can't shake it off, and
I'm going to see it through. Mad

491
01:01:13.079 --> 01:01:21.000
mad mused the colonel. I never
met a march hare madder. But when

492
01:01:21.039 --> 01:01:25.960
he heard Pinkerton's story of the day's
fight, the death of Brownie Boy,

493
01:01:27.000 --> 01:01:32.840
and the moving, if sentimental adventure
of the five franc diamond necklace, a

494
01:01:34.079 --> 01:01:40.079
cord thrilled somewhere within him, and
he swore that Jesse should get her diamonds,

495
01:01:40.079 --> 01:01:45.719
even if he had to go to
General headquarters himself and to get the

496
01:01:45.800 --> 01:01:52.559
King's messenger to deliver them. But
it's my job, sir, says Pinkerton,

497
01:01:52.239 --> 01:01:59.760
laying down the empty sugar bowl.
I promised the boy, and dammy,

498
01:02:00.079 --> 01:02:06.559
Pinky, you shall keep your promise. By thunder you shall. I'll

499
01:02:06.599 --> 01:02:12.840
get you a pass for special emergency
leaves straight away. My car is leaving

500
01:02:12.920 --> 01:02:17.519
for the base tonight. You can
take it and easily catch the midnight boat.

501
01:02:19.639 --> 01:02:25.840
And meanwhile, the fierce old soldier's
countenance wrinkled into a sort of a

502
01:02:25.920 --> 01:02:31.880
smile, wash some of the stains
of war from that amiable mug of yours.

503
01:02:32.079 --> 01:02:37.960
My tutney terrier stoke up at the
canteen and good luck and a quick

504
01:02:38.079 --> 01:02:46.559
run to Old England. Colonel Cumberpatch
offered his hand in sheer friendliness. Pinkerton,

505
01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:52.400
with the critical lie of Corporal Haddock
upon him, threw himself up and

506
01:02:52.559 --> 01:03:01.400
saluted. Corporal Haddock could not have
done it better himself. Thirty yards leave

507
01:03:01.719 --> 01:03:07.119
was his limit, and that is
more than enough, thought Pinkerton, with

508
01:03:07.239 --> 01:03:15.039
a sigh. To call upon another
man's sweetheart. He felt lonely and sad

509
01:03:15.320 --> 01:03:22.599
and not a little nervous. The
task which lay before him was a delicate

510
01:03:22.639 --> 01:03:28.920
one, and on no hand with
women, either in Belgravia or the borough,

511
01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:37.360
a petticoat always flabberghasters me. And
with this sort of petticoat, Lord

512
01:03:37.440 --> 01:03:45.119
help me. Looking ahead, in
his too productive imagination, he pictured a

513
01:03:45.199 --> 01:03:50.880
squalid scene with a drab of a
wench as the tells old heroine, and

514
01:03:51.119 --> 01:03:57.440
himself a sorry unit in the comedy, with nothing to offer love in distress

515
01:03:58.119 --> 01:04:04.199
but a handful of tupper hapney tinsel. He was tempted to break his journey

516
01:04:04.679 --> 01:04:11.880
on the way to Lant Street,
Borough and by a more substantial and valuable

517
01:04:12.039 --> 01:04:17.760
memento, but the vision of Brownie
Boy and his dying appeal came back to

518
01:04:17.880 --> 01:04:25.159
him, and he decided to carry
on according to the contract made and sealed

519
01:04:25.519 --> 01:04:31.639
in the blood sprinkled village streets of
Nye app Lant Street. He found with

520
01:04:31.760 --> 01:04:40.239
difficulty. More difficult still it was
to discover Jesse's abode, hidden amid a

521
01:04:40.360 --> 01:04:48.119
scramble of tumble down houses and dark
death trap stairways. At last, his

522
01:04:48.280 --> 01:04:56.079
patience and his climbing were rewarded at
the top of a creaking stair. He

523
01:04:56.320 --> 01:05:01.840
found the door with number eight painted
roughly upon it. It was open a

524
01:05:01.880 --> 01:05:09.920
few inches, and Pinkerton heard the
sound of singing, soft but remarkably sweet.

525
01:05:11.079 --> 01:05:15.119
The lad I love is a soldier, lad hey Ho, Never be

526
01:05:15.320 --> 01:05:23.400
sad, Never be sad. He
sailed away far over the sea. He

527
01:05:23.639 --> 01:05:29.800
sailed away to fight for me,
for his king and his country over the

528
01:05:29.960 --> 01:05:34.760
sea. And perhaps some day he'll
come back to me, my soldier,

529
01:05:34.840 --> 01:05:43.400
lad hey Ho, never be sad. He tapped on the door. The

530
01:05:43.559 --> 01:05:53.400
song ceased, and a musical voice
cried come in. That concludes chapter four

531
01:05:53.840 --> 01:06:06.440
of Private Pinkerton Millionaire, and is
also the end of section two Section three

532
01:06:06.519 --> 01:06:15.320
of Private Pinkerton Millionaire by Harold Ashton. This LibriVox recording is in the public

533
01:06:15.400 --> 01:06:26.440
domain. Chapters five and six.
Chapter five, William the Conqueror. The

534
01:06:26.559 --> 01:06:32.960
little room in which Pinkerton found himself
was clean and neat. A big bunch

535
01:06:33.000 --> 01:06:40.199
of wild flowers in an empty marmalade
jar, a bright yellow canary in a

536
01:06:40.400 --> 01:06:46.599
bright blue cage with a sprig of
groundsel tucked between the wires, flanked by

537
01:06:46.599 --> 01:06:54.639
a lump of sugar, and a
large memorial card stamped with trumpeting angels in

538
01:06:54.840 --> 01:07:01.199
black and silver, performing an urgent
solo over the world in the midst of

539
01:07:01.360 --> 01:07:09.920
life, we are in death.
Framed under the canary, disclosed to Pinkerton

540
01:07:10.079 --> 01:07:15.440
at a glance that he was in
the presence of a judicious, if somewhat

541
01:07:15.480 --> 01:07:25.360
homely recognition of nature and art.
Economy too, struck a triumphant note from

542
01:07:25.360 --> 01:07:30.320
the marmalade jar, over which,
as he entered, a slim form was

543
01:07:30.440 --> 01:07:38.800
bent in the pretty occupation of arranging
the simple blooms. For a moment.

544
01:07:39.079 --> 01:07:45.239
The girl did not look up,
but went on with her crooning, My

545
01:07:45.440 --> 01:07:51.239
soldier, lads back over the sea, heh over the sea, over the

546
01:07:51.440 --> 01:07:59.039
sea. He swore when he left
he'd be true to me, faithful and

547
01:07:59.239 --> 01:08:04.599
loving and fond to me. But
now that he's back. It's fickle,

548
01:08:04.880 --> 01:08:11.519
is he, And it's off he
has danced with some other. She my

549
01:08:11.800 --> 01:08:17.399
soldier lad hey, ho, you
can put him on the table, she

550
01:08:17.680 --> 01:08:25.199
said, if they ain't too lively
to walk off on their lonesomes. Then

551
01:08:25.399 --> 01:08:31.079
she raised her head, a haughty
young head, negligently crowned by a tumble

552
01:08:31.119 --> 01:08:39.640
of red gold hair, and saw
Pinkerton, Lord love us, She cried,

553
01:08:40.560 --> 01:08:45.359
I thought you were the shrimps.
No, No, I'm not the

554
01:08:45.399 --> 01:08:54.039
shrimps. I'm sorry, I Pinkerton
stammered nervously, utterly, at a loss

555
01:08:54.199 --> 01:09:00.640
what to say and how to meet
the situation. He had no fear of

556
01:09:00.800 --> 01:09:08.199
shattering shellfire or roving bullets. But
he saw before him a pale, resolute,

557
01:09:08.279 --> 01:09:14.199
young face, a glow of eager
eyes, and he was afraid.

558
01:09:15.560 --> 01:09:20.720
The girl saw him, wavering with
the quick animal instinct of her class.

559
01:09:21.359 --> 01:09:28.760
Her mind leapt at the truth.
You've come from Elf, she said,

560
01:09:29.560 --> 01:09:34.920
and her hand sped to her heart
and fluttered there. Yes, I've come

561
01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:42.520
from Elf and he's dead. Killed. Oh I know, I know,

562
01:09:43.000 --> 01:09:48.239
I know. You needn't make no
pretty speeches to me, breaking it gentle

563
01:09:48.319 --> 01:09:58.600
and all that Elfie's killed, yes, replied Pinkerton, struggling hard to find

564
01:09:58.680 --> 01:10:05.560
some flow of word comfort. But
nothing came. He remained dumb and helpless,

565
01:10:06.680 --> 01:10:14.920
dead killed. Oh Elf, Elfie, and you promised me to take

566
01:10:15.039 --> 01:10:23.079
care. The cry came from Jesse's
heart. The foolish little sentence, you

567
01:10:23.279 --> 01:10:30.279
promise to take care, lost all
its foolishness in the poignancy of its utterance.

568
01:10:30.880 --> 01:10:36.439
You promised, you promised, Elfie. It was cruel of you,

569
01:10:39.000 --> 01:10:44.399
the stricken child, for she was
little more than a child, raised her

570
01:10:44.399 --> 01:10:51.279
face pathetically to Pinkerton and stretched out
her hand. Wasn't it wasn't it too

571
01:10:51.359 --> 01:11:00.760
bad? She began, And this
on my birthday. Pinkerton took the cold

572
01:11:00.880 --> 01:11:06.159
limp fingers in his own brown hand. Jesse, he said, quietly,

573
01:11:08.239 --> 01:11:13.920
sit down here by me, and
if you can cry, cry, don't

574
01:11:14.039 --> 01:11:18.439
mind me, Just cry, little
girl, cry, and have it out.

575
01:11:20.119 --> 01:11:27.560
Jesse's pretty, rough little head drooped
upon the outstretched arm, and at

576
01:11:27.640 --> 01:11:35.359
last the merciful floodgates opened. As
the tears flowed. Pinkerton sat quietly by

577
01:11:35.359 --> 01:11:44.640
the shaking little figure of Brownie Boy's
sweetheart, still holding her hand. Presently,

578
01:11:44.760 --> 01:11:49.319
the storm of tears abated, and
out of the sobs, Jesse found

579
01:11:49.439 --> 01:11:56.319
her voice again. Tell me,
tell me about it, she said.

580
01:11:57.079 --> 01:12:02.000
Did he was he brave? He
was the bravest soldier in the British Army,

581
01:12:02.600 --> 01:12:10.600
declared Pinkerton, stoutly. Alf.
We called him Brownie Boy, that

582
01:12:10.880 --> 01:12:15.000
was his pet name, and we
all loved him. Jesse. Alf was

583
01:12:15.079 --> 01:12:20.159
my own particular pal, and he
died in my arms in the finest spite.

584
01:12:20.279 --> 01:12:28.279
As Zeba was fifteen to one the
odds were, Oh, cried the

585
01:12:28.359 --> 01:12:35.439
girl, breathing quickly, tell me, tell me so Private Pinkerton told Jesse

586
01:12:35.680 --> 01:12:42.520
the moving tale of her gallant,
fearless lover, until she forgot her sorrow

587
01:12:42.760 --> 01:12:48.600
at the thrill of his words.
For the words came now unbidden and readily

588
01:12:48.800 --> 01:12:56.479
enough, not a little, to
his astonishment, And when at the end

589
01:12:56.520 --> 01:13:02.359
of the recital he produced the little
neckclaud though the tears flowed afresh, they

590
01:13:02.359 --> 01:13:08.840
were not the outcome of a broken
heart, but the tribute of a brave

591
01:13:08.960 --> 01:13:15.960
lass to her gallant soldier lover.
Oh but I am proud of him,

592
01:13:15.319 --> 01:13:24.920
my soldier lad she cried, and
she wept no more. Won't you stay

593
01:13:24.960 --> 01:13:31.279
to tea, asked Jesse, my
poor little birthday tea. Father said he'd

594
01:13:31.319 --> 01:13:35.800
be in, but there's no sign
of him. So I suppose it's the

595
01:13:36.039 --> 01:13:43.760
usual with him, she sighed.
He used to work at the blacking factory

596
01:13:43.960 --> 01:13:48.960
until the war broke out, and
nobody seemed to want any blacking any longer,

597
01:13:49.600 --> 01:13:56.760
and father got the push. Perhaps
it's as well for father drunk,

598
01:13:56.880 --> 01:14:03.760
or the blacking he made, kit, said Pinkerton, astonished at the assimilative

599
01:14:03.920 --> 01:14:13.720
powers of the working classes. What
an extraordinary taste, Jesse smiled, sadly.

600
01:14:14.960 --> 01:14:21.680
Not the blacking exactly, she explained. Gin oh ah, yes,

601
01:14:23.520 --> 01:14:30.800
assented Pinkerton out of work. Gin
yes, I understand, and I suppose

602
01:14:30.960 --> 01:14:40.279
you have to keep him, yes, answered Jesse shortly, dressmaking, mending,

603
01:14:40.560 --> 01:14:45.159
trimming hats, and Dad drinks most
of that too. Oh it's a

604
01:14:45.199 --> 01:14:51.840
cruel, rotten world. But are
we downhearted? I'll put the kettle on

605
01:14:53.000 --> 01:14:58.239
and tidy myself up a bit and
cut the bread and butter. And as

606
01:14:58.239 --> 01:15:01.960
the shrimps haven't walked up stairs yet, you can go out and buy a

607
01:15:02.039 --> 01:15:11.079
bagful. It's only just round the
corner. Blinks, a millionaire foraging for

608
01:15:11.279 --> 01:15:15.880
shrimps in the borough should surely be
a picture for the gods in hi Olympus

609
01:15:16.079 --> 01:15:23.239
to cackle over. But if Pinkerton
was a millionaire, he was also a

610
01:15:23.279 --> 01:15:30.199
private soldier, and searching for shrimps
presented few terrors to him. He soon

611
01:15:30.319 --> 01:15:36.600
found mister Blinks, an affable fat
man who was not only pleased to part

612
01:15:36.720 --> 01:15:43.439
with the shrimps, but eager to
add to them a pair of aromatic bloaters.

613
01:15:45.399 --> 01:15:50.039
The tea party of two, all
told, was a grand success.

614
01:15:51.159 --> 01:15:58.319
Jesse smiled. She almost laughed,
in fact, at her visitors Printer's hand

615
01:15:58.760 --> 01:16:04.279
clumsily fumbling at the armor plate of
the slippery monsters of the deep. You

616
01:16:04.439 --> 01:16:11.800
don't do it like that, she
cried. Here let me show you.

617
01:16:13.000 --> 01:16:17.640
Pinkerton, who had never eaten shrimps
before in his life, picked out a

618
01:16:17.680 --> 01:16:24.760
fat one and handed it solemnly to
the girl. I shall be charmed,

619
01:16:25.359 --> 01:16:30.760
he said. Do you know,
Jesse, this is my first acquaintance with

620
01:16:30.920 --> 01:16:39.680
shrimps. They're really not half bad. What never eaten shrimps before? Well?

621
01:16:39.760 --> 01:16:45.000
I never Where was you brought up? And who? Why would you

622
01:16:45.079 --> 01:16:49.960
believe it? You haven't told me
your name yet. What is it?

623
01:16:51.159 --> 01:17:00.439
Pinkerton replied Jesse's guest, making a
sad mess of his fifteenth shrimp. And

624
01:17:00.880 --> 01:17:09.479
the other name William, answered Pinkerton, blushing. Oh that's the same name

625
01:17:09.560 --> 01:17:15.399
as the Kaysers. I don't like
it much, sorry, said Pinkerton.

626
01:17:16.000 --> 01:17:21.520
But I couldn't help it. It
was thrust upon me. But I and

627
01:17:21.680 --> 01:17:30.199
the Kaiser are not the only Williams
on the beach, no, assented Jesse.

628
01:17:30.560 --> 01:17:33.560
Now, I, come to think
of it, there was a chap

629
01:17:33.680 --> 01:17:41.119
called William the Conqueror wasn't there.
I'm sure you're much more like him and

630
01:17:41.359 --> 01:17:46.479
brave bravers, lions and tigers,
or you wouldn't have been my ELF's pal

631
01:17:47.680 --> 01:17:54.079
William the Conqueror. That's you.
But I'm going to call you Bill.

632
01:17:56.199 --> 01:18:03.239
Time was slipping by the most delightful
TEA party must heave an end. But

633
01:18:03.800 --> 01:18:08.840
there is still business to be done
in this little room in the borough.

634
01:18:09.960 --> 01:18:16.640
Serious talk between Jesse and Bill,
a solemn consideration of ways and means.

635
01:18:17.760 --> 01:18:24.359
There is the future to be weighed, the future of a busy little dressmaker

636
01:18:25.079 --> 01:18:30.920
with her drag of toil, toil, incessant toil, and the burden of

637
01:18:30.960 --> 01:18:38.520
the old man who drinks the blacking
drinks and drinks by the way, Jesse

638
01:18:39.439 --> 01:18:45.000
says Bill, telling the lie which
the recording angel writes down against him in

639
01:18:45.000 --> 01:18:53.119
invisible wink with a quill plucked from
the bird of paradise. I know a

640
01:18:53.279 --> 01:18:58.920
rich lady, a lady in the
country who is looking for a companion with

641
01:18:59.039 --> 01:19:04.640
quick fingers and a clever needle,
And you, Jesse, are the very

642
01:19:04.720 --> 01:19:11.800
one. Bless my soul, what's
luck? If you can oblige me with

643
01:19:11.920 --> 01:19:15.359
a pen and ink, I'll fix
the whole thing. Up at once.

644
01:19:17.319 --> 01:19:23.159
So, with the aid of a
penny bottle of blue black and an old

645
01:19:23.239 --> 01:19:30.880
pen outrageously cross nibbed, Pinkerton writes
a few magic lines to missus Millwood,

646
01:19:30.479 --> 01:19:39.000
the homely housekeeper at Thorneycroft, sticks
the envelope down, addresses it, and

647
01:19:39.159 --> 01:19:45.039
then, remembering something, opens it
again and adds a PostScript, which Jesse,

648
01:19:45.720 --> 01:19:51.840
peeping over his shoulder, reads,
PS, don't forget to send for

649
01:19:51.960 --> 01:20:00.680
her at once and next my word, says Private Pinkerton. I must scoot,

650
01:20:00.880 --> 01:20:05.000
Jesse, or I shall miss the
train, and when I get back,

651
01:20:05.119 --> 01:20:10.880
I shall be shot at dawn for
a deserter. Goodbye, Jesse,

652
01:20:11.279 --> 01:20:17.600
and many happy returns. He held
out his hand. Goodbye, and God

653
01:20:17.640 --> 01:20:25.880
bless you, murmurs the girl.
But Bill, aren't you going to for

654
01:20:25.960 --> 01:20:32.359
the sake of Brownie boy? Won't
won't you kiss me? The pig sty

655
01:20:32.760 --> 01:20:39.720
was just the same, and so
was the six foot and a bit century,

656
01:20:39.840 --> 01:20:45.479
and so was the fiery faced colonel. As Private Pinkerton entered to make

657
01:20:45.600 --> 01:20:51.520
his report back again, says the
colonel, And how did you improve the

658
01:20:51.600 --> 01:20:58.840
shining hour, Pinky? A grand
time, sir, I learned how to

659
01:20:58.920 --> 01:21:04.199
eat shrimps and help to kiss another
fellow, sweetheart, the devil you did?

660
01:21:05.119 --> 01:21:13.119
Was it full love? No,
sir, replied Pinkerton. For remembrance,

661
01:21:14.399 --> 01:21:23.960
For remembrance, h M, said
the colonel Hey ho sidhe Private Pinkerton.

662
01:21:26.239 --> 01:21:34.439
That concludes chapter five of Private Pinkerton
Millionaire. The section continues with chapter

663
01:21:34.560 --> 01:21:46.000
six. The Green Death attack at
dawn ran the whispered order. Private Pinkerton

664
01:21:46.399 --> 01:21:53.840
shivered as he lay in the long, narrow damp trench. He felt like

665
01:21:54.000 --> 01:22:00.479
an ill fitting drain pipe in a
badly dug drain, muddy, discust,

666
01:22:00.920 --> 01:22:06.920
and utterly miserable. There was a
very ugly leak two in the cistern which

667
01:22:06.960 --> 01:22:14.560
held his courage. It was oozing
away and he couldn't cork the leak.

668
01:22:15.760 --> 01:22:21.079
Buck up, Pinky, buck up, He addressed himself, angrily, tightening

669
01:22:21.159 --> 01:22:29.199
his belt another hole as he shifted
sidewise, But the polesy took him once

670
01:22:29.279 --> 01:22:35.079
more in its grip. It shook
him till his teeth rattled. Am I

671
01:22:35.119 --> 01:22:42.960
am I a coward? He puts
the question to his inner consciousness, and

672
01:22:43.520 --> 01:22:48.079
listening for the answer, received a
heavy jab in the ribs from the mud

673
01:22:48.159 --> 01:22:56.960
smothered lump of humanity lying next to
him. Stop rattling that blasted dice box

674
01:22:57.199 --> 01:23:02.359
year, stow it totters for God's
sake, or we shall have all the

675
01:23:02.479 --> 01:23:11.119
double sixes jumping out of the pack
afford a moon's goorne Dan. Six months

676
01:23:11.159 --> 01:23:16.880
ago, mister Pinkerton, a gentleman
to the fingertips and a mildish, peace

677
01:23:16.920 --> 01:23:25.960
loving man, would have apologized in
a few courtly dignified phrases tonight, in

678
01:23:25.960 --> 01:23:31.479
this evil gloom breeding trench. He
remembered, in time to save his reputation,

679
01:23:32.279 --> 01:23:40.399
that he was an expletive private and
no more. He replied to the

680
01:23:40.439 --> 01:23:45.479
orator next door, with a flow
of language that would have paralyzed a Billingsgate

681
01:23:45.560 --> 01:23:53.800
fish porter, and he felt world's
better for it. Oh, pinky you,

682
01:23:54.439 --> 01:24:01.039
you blasphemous sound. Mister Pinkerton,
pulling his wait now and having let

683
01:24:01.079 --> 01:24:08.079
off a very considerable pressure of steam, was a man once more. The

684
01:24:08.199 --> 01:24:15.399
polsy had vanished. No swearing,
no token, no smoking in this little

685
01:24:15.600 --> 01:24:23.520
only of OLiS. It was the
fatherly voice of Sergeant Major Singleton tag a

686
01:24:23.640 --> 01:24:30.520
dawn, boys, and don't you
forget it, which being translated should read

687
01:24:30.239 --> 01:24:38.000
attack at dawn. Lay quiet,
my children, and watch for the looming

688
01:24:38.159 --> 01:24:43.880
up of the horizon. What you
see then, or what you ought to

689
01:24:43.880 --> 01:24:49.159
see, will be the Frommel's Ridge. And when you hear three blasts from

690
01:24:49.199 --> 01:24:57.560
the whistle, it's up guards and
am free blasts, dear razzle lads,

691
01:24:58.840 --> 01:25:03.520
the lads raz old, lying there
in the mush on their bellies, seeing

692
01:25:03.640 --> 01:25:12.239
nothing but comforted and cheered vastly by
the paternal voice of their beloved pants.

693
01:25:13.840 --> 01:25:18.239
It's a first trench, you've got
to take, the voice went on the

694
01:25:18.319 --> 01:25:26.880
first trench so far, and no
Foreader, and don't you forget it any

695
01:25:27.000 --> 01:25:31.399
Foreader, And it's mincemeat. You'll
be turned into every mother's son. Of

696
01:25:31.479 --> 01:25:40.560
ye, you'll be hearing grandmother and
her children gruntin presently over your bloomin head's.

697
01:25:41.680 --> 01:25:46.439
Don't be alarmed, Lilo, No
matter what you hear and feel,

698
01:25:47.359 --> 01:25:54.600
it'll only be Granny clearing the way
for you, opening up the pearly gates

699
01:25:54.600 --> 01:26:00.600
of paradise. So to speak,
Lilo, and wait for the whistle.

700
01:26:01.479 --> 01:26:09.640
So far the night had been fairly
quiet, suspiciously quiet. Now and again,

701
01:26:10.279 --> 01:26:15.760
high over the Frommel's Ridge, the
German flares flamed and danced, The

702
01:26:15.840 --> 01:26:23.199
star shells popped and fizzled in an
entertaining fifth of November sort of frolic.

703
01:26:24.479 --> 01:26:30.680
Then the night closed in again blacker
than ever. Pinky boy, a horse

704
01:26:30.800 --> 01:26:38.520
whisper from next door. Pinky,
have you said your prayers? Tucked into

705
01:26:38.560 --> 01:26:43.399
your little bed, warm and snag, then you can sing me to sleep,

706
01:26:44.520 --> 01:26:50.760
seeing me to sleep. Boh,
mother, deare it is not Nightwhile

707
01:26:51.840 --> 01:27:03.119
boom the earth shook at the opening, roar again in boom, again,

708
01:27:03.439 --> 01:27:12.079
and yet again. The great concert
of death, destruction, and damnation had

709
01:27:12.119 --> 01:27:19.039
begun. Grandmother and her children were
at it. And though the huge guns

710
01:27:19.079 --> 01:27:26.279
of our artillery were over a mile
behind, the trench in which Private Pingerton

711
01:27:26.439 --> 01:27:30.800
lay on his cold, cold stomach, shook and trembled at the thud of

712
01:27:30.840 --> 01:27:39.720
them. Grandmother, Husky, Harriot, and surly Sam, accompanied by a

713
01:27:39.840 --> 01:27:48.600
big and uproariously noisy family of smaller
ones Saucy Sarah, Jane, jumping Jimmy,

714
01:27:48.760 --> 01:27:56.199
talking Tom, and Oler and Henry, were putting in their fastest and

715
01:27:56.359 --> 01:28:04.159
most furious work high high overhead.
The terrific shells screamed and scurled in their

716
01:28:04.239 --> 01:28:12.000
maniac rush across the sky. Here
and now, for the first time,

717
01:28:12.560 --> 01:28:19.399
the awful grandeur of it held Pinkerton
in its magic thrall. He looked up.

718
01:28:20.199 --> 01:28:25.720
He could see nothing, but he
could hear the pinions of the Angel

719
01:28:25.800 --> 01:28:30.920
of Death sweeping the sky, and
over them, the very heavens seemed to

720
01:28:31.039 --> 01:28:41.319
shudder. The roar continued its demoniac
fury, increased, swelling and reverberating,

721
01:28:41.760 --> 01:28:46.479
until it seemed that the uttermost roots
of hell had been torn up, red

722
01:28:46.520 --> 01:28:54.199
hot, and flung athwart the world. The battering was so fearful, so

723
01:28:54.359 --> 01:29:01.039
intense, so everlasting, so shattering
to the senses that when Pinkerton's tingling ear

724
01:29:01.279 --> 01:29:09.239
was assailed by three shrill whistleblasts,
he paid no heed and obeyed no order,

725
01:29:09.880 --> 01:29:15.560
until somebody of giant size and strength
seized him by the slack of his

726
01:29:15.680 --> 01:29:21.680
trousers and flung him over the barricade
into the wild, gibbering night, balling

727
01:29:21.880 --> 01:29:30.000
into his ear. Run run,
run, run like hell, didn't you

728
01:29:30.239 --> 01:29:35.399
hear it? So like hell?
He ran, ran, in a sort

729
01:29:35.439 --> 01:29:42.520
of whirling dream, dimly conscious in
the breaking dawn that he was one of

730
01:29:42.560 --> 01:29:48.800
a scampering crew of hundreds of gray
green specters flitting across the somber territory of

731
01:29:48.880 --> 01:29:56.640
No Man's Land between the British and
the German trenchers. The thunder of the

732
01:29:56.720 --> 01:30:03.960
great guns was still behind him.
Owls roared, and wind above day broke

733
01:30:04.079 --> 01:30:11.319
swiftly, as though some invisible hand
had torn the sable curtain of night from

734
01:30:11.319 --> 01:30:16.359
the draped windows of the sky.
Right ahead, he could see the shells

735
01:30:16.439 --> 01:30:25.840
bursting like volcanic eruptions amid the Prussian
parapets, and at each crash smoked a

736
01:30:25.920 --> 01:30:32.439
whirlwind of dust and earth. Run, run, run, voices still chorused

737
01:30:32.479 --> 01:30:38.720
around him, and he ran,
leaping for the line of tossed and tumbled

738
01:30:38.760 --> 01:30:45.640
sandbags and the tangle of barbed wire
that lay immediately before him. Death sure

739
01:30:45.800 --> 01:30:55.640
and certain, But what are death
to die? Then suddenly the fearful tumult

740
01:30:55.800 --> 01:31:01.039
ceased, and in the broadening dayshine
Private P. Kerton seemed to awake to

741
01:31:01.119 --> 01:31:06.279
the consciousness that he was leading the
charge on the lower slope of the Ridge

742
01:31:06.319 --> 01:31:13.079
of Promous with a belt, a
dozen men behind him glory, and the

743
01:31:13.159 --> 01:31:19.760
Germans in front. He hurled himself
upon a heap of sandbags and yelled to

744
01:31:19.840 --> 01:31:27.119
the men behind him, come on, boys, shove him over. The

745
01:31:27.199 --> 01:31:32.239
boys came on and shoved'em over. Headlong. They pitched into the German

746
01:31:32.319 --> 01:31:39.600
trench. It was a deep trench, not yet fully illuminated by the morning

747
01:31:39.720 --> 01:31:45.000
light, and as Pinkerton fell into
it, he saw before him the shadowy

748
01:31:45.119 --> 01:31:51.880
form of a huge German leaning back
against the trench wall, grimly staring at

749
01:31:53.000 --> 01:32:00.479
him with arms extended, an attitude
preparatory. So he imagined for a death

750
01:32:00.560 --> 01:32:08.920
grip, but tensely, uncannily still, No, you don't, he yelled,

751
01:32:09.279 --> 01:32:15.039
anticipating the spring and shutting his eyes, he lunged with all his weight

752
01:32:15.199 --> 01:32:21.680
behind his bayonet. He felt the
breastbone of his enemy crunch as the cold

753
01:32:21.800 --> 01:32:28.479
steel went in. His foot slipped
on the wet clay, and before he

754
01:32:28.520 --> 01:32:32.960
could disengage he had rolled over,
with the spitted German on top of him.

755
01:32:34.319 --> 01:32:40.520
As he fell, he was dimly
conscious of other deeds of massacre going

756
01:32:40.600 --> 01:32:46.319
on around him. With steel point
and clubbed rifle. There was no cry

757
01:32:46.399 --> 01:32:53.119
for quarter, though the Germans,
crouching and squatting in this grisly drain,

758
01:32:53.800 --> 01:32:59.960
must have outnumbered Pinkerton and his little
band of braves by five to one,

759
01:33:00.560 --> 01:33:09.039
and there seemed to be no resistance. It was sheer murder in the midst

760
01:33:09.079 --> 01:33:15.680
of this unholy business. Pinkerton still
vainly endeavoring to free himself from the embarrassment

761
01:33:15.840 --> 01:33:23.000
of the dead German, whose unwieldy
body lay over him. Observed the familiar

762
01:33:23.079 --> 01:33:30.119
figure of old Pants letting himself down
carefully into the trench. A fat man

763
01:33:30.359 --> 01:33:34.720
and heavy, slow but sure.
He was the last, but by no

764
01:33:34.880 --> 01:33:43.760
means the least of Pinkerton's ferocious little
crew. On the way across from trench

765
01:33:43.840 --> 01:33:47.960
to trench, he had pick'd up
a revolver. As he landed with a

766
01:33:48.079 --> 01:33:54.640
squelch on the slippery floor of the
German pit, he shoved his weapon into

767
01:33:54.680 --> 01:34:00.720
the face of a crouching bosh.
Hands up, he cried. The German

768
01:34:00.840 --> 01:34:10.399
soldier did not move, hands up
or by. Sergeant Major Singleton never fired.

769
01:34:11.079 --> 01:34:16.039
For ats the touch of the revolver
barrel. The German rolled over sideways

770
01:34:16.399 --> 01:34:23.800
and lay as he fell grotesquely,
with one leg, stiff and crooked in

771
01:34:23.840 --> 01:34:28.880
the air for all the world,
like a waxwork dummy, knocked if it

772
01:34:29.079 --> 01:34:36.800
stand. Then with a gasp,
Singleton understood, Turning to the little crowd

773
01:34:36.880 --> 01:34:44.479
of furious invaders who were still smashing
at the enemy and bayonetting them with savage

774
01:34:44.520 --> 01:34:50.239
gusto, he yelled at them to
cease. Stop it, do your hair,

775
01:34:51.199 --> 01:34:58.560
stop at boys, Stop it,
you pirates, you body snatchers.

776
01:35:00.159 --> 01:35:04.760
Though they were seeing red and letting
fly around them for all they were worth.

777
01:35:05.640 --> 01:35:14.960
The tough discipline crowd belonging to Old
Panther's company recognized his voice and paused,

778
01:35:15.039 --> 01:35:23.520
in their bloody business stop it.
Why the because sheltered the sergeant major.

779
01:35:24.479 --> 01:35:31.399
Because you're killing dead men. They're
all stone cold corpses, every man,

780
01:35:31.640 --> 01:35:38.239
jag of em. Easy, all
my sons. Switch off the red

781
01:35:38.399 --> 01:35:45.359
light. They called it the green
death. One of the lyddite shells from

782
01:35:45.399 --> 01:35:50.720
the British guns had burst low over
this particular section of the invested trench,

783
01:35:51.439 --> 01:35:58.359
and the shock of it and the
choking fumes had smitten every German soldier there

784
01:35:58.760 --> 01:36:04.319
dead, head on the instant,
dead in the attitude of life, just

785
01:36:04.520 --> 01:36:12.520
as he was standing or crouching or
sitting rifle in hand, face, alert

786
01:36:13.399 --> 01:36:21.640
eyes, staring, staring further and
even more horrible. The bursting shell marks

787
01:36:21.720 --> 01:36:30.239
its passage by staining everything within its
area a yellowish green. Heaving himself at

788
01:36:30.359 --> 01:36:38.479
last by a mighty effort from the
encumbering body of his giant assailant, Private

789
01:36:38.560 --> 01:36:45.560
Pinkerton for the first time had a
full view of his face. It was

790
01:36:45.119 --> 01:36:58.039
a vivid green the green death that
concludes chapter six of Private Pinkerton Millionaire and

791
01:36:58.239 --> 01:37:11.880
is also the end of section three
Section four of Private Pinkerton Millionaire by Harold

792
01:37:11.920 --> 01:37:18.840
Ashton. This liberal box recording is
in the public domain Chapter seven and eight.

793
01:37:20.479 --> 01:37:29.880
Chapter seven the wolf in the fold, face downwards in an attitude of

794
01:37:30.039 --> 01:37:39.359
peaceful slumber. Across two tightly stuffed
sandbags lay Private Pinkerton. But though he

795
01:37:39.479 --> 01:37:45.560
was as still as a mouse and
breathing as sweetly and regularly as a slumbering

796
01:37:45.680 --> 01:37:50.560
babe, he was as wakeful and
wary as a cat at a mouse hole.

797
01:37:51.760 --> 01:37:56.840
He had lain there for the best
part of an hour, watching a

798
01:37:57.000 --> 01:38:02.279
speck on the German ramparts opposite,
with the sight of his rifle slipped up

799
01:38:02.359 --> 01:38:11.159
to six hundred. It was a
long shot, but like the sniper of

800
01:38:11.279 --> 01:38:17.199
Skeleton Tree, Pinkerton could pull a
pretty trigger, and so could the other

801
01:38:17.279 --> 01:38:25.439
chap across the way the gentleman visualized
by the little smudge over the enemy trench.

802
01:38:26.920 --> 01:38:32.600
Sometimes the speck seemed to waver,
to flicker. Twice a thin red

803
01:38:32.600 --> 01:38:39.600
flame had flashed from it. The
first bullet came like a humming bee,

804
01:38:40.159 --> 01:38:46.279
and Pinkerton felt the wind of it
by his ear. On the wings of

805
01:38:46.319 --> 01:38:55.079
the second came death. Rifleman Sprightly, a good shot who was so restless

806
01:38:55.199 --> 01:38:59.880
in this monotonous trench life that he
was known as Jack in the Box,

807
01:39:00.760 --> 01:39:06.760
raised himself for a moment and stretched
out to borrow a cigarette. He had

808
01:39:06.800 --> 01:39:14.359
disclosed himself for no longer than it
takes a man to wink. But that

809
01:39:14.680 --> 01:39:21.199
was enough. Again, the little
red tongue of flame flickered, with the

810
01:39:21.319 --> 01:39:27.520
half of an oath on his lips. Jack in the Box toppled over and

811
01:39:27.800 --> 01:39:35.079
lay like a log across Pinkerton's legs. Still, Pinkerton never moved. The

812
01:39:35.199 --> 01:39:42.159
pressure of a dead man flattening him
down upon the hot, hard sandbag had

813
01:39:42.319 --> 01:39:45.960
no more effect on him than to
cause him to growl. Pull him off.

814
01:39:46.039 --> 01:39:53.039
Somebody, for God's sake, Somebody
pulled him off. And there the

815
01:39:53.159 --> 01:40:00.359
incident ended, so ordinary a happening
of war that nobody took any intro estin

816
01:40:00.439 --> 01:40:04.479
it at all. Here was a
dead man, clear him out of the

817
01:40:04.560 --> 01:40:12.560
way, somebody. The man who
lugged Jack off Pinkerton's hampered legs. His

818
01:40:12.760 --> 01:40:19.920
task accomplished, went on eating his
bread and butter. Private Pinkerton realized soundly

819
01:40:20.079 --> 01:40:27.680
and sanely enough that the next flash
might sign his own death warrant in a

820
01:40:27.800 --> 01:40:32.960
crimson scrawl, but the acceptance of
it brought no tremor to his finger.

821
01:40:33.399 --> 01:40:40.600
Pressed against the cool, thin curve
of steel, he lay and watched the

822
01:40:40.720 --> 01:40:47.079
speck, Relieved now of the dead
weight across his legs. Snuggling down lower

823
01:40:47.239 --> 01:40:53.199
and lower in his hard bed,
he managed to get hold of the dead

824
01:40:53.199 --> 01:40:59.479
man's cap and propped it on the
ridge of the parapets. It was an

825
01:40:59.479 --> 01:41:05.640
old, fraid tattered device, but
it came off this time got him by

826
01:41:05.800 --> 01:41:13.560
gad good shot, Oh good shot, indeed, drawled the young voice.

827
01:41:14.359 --> 01:41:21.920
The voice of Eaton unmistakably got the
parisher smack in the middle of the napper.

828
01:41:24.119 --> 01:41:30.600
Sure, Sir, queried Pinkerton over
his shoulder. It is not a

829
01:41:30.239 --> 01:41:36.720
usual private, what's your infernal name? To question the words of your superior

830
01:41:36.880 --> 01:41:45.359
officer, drawled the young subaltern.
Good naturedly enough, But that was such

831
01:41:45.399 --> 01:41:50.359
a damn good shot that I'll forgive
you. Slip down into this blighted drain.

832
01:41:50.960 --> 01:41:57.079
There's nothing doing at present up there. Heaven, pottered the red I

833
01:41:57.920 --> 01:42:02.359
want a word with you. Here's
half a crown for you for valor,

834
01:42:03.239 --> 01:42:10.680
said the officer in a mixed tone
of condescension and congratulation, as if he

835
01:42:10.760 --> 01:42:16.279
had been conferring the Victoria Cross upon
the respectful young man standing before him.

836
01:42:17.680 --> 01:42:23.760
Thank you, sir, said Pinky, with an immobile face, as he

837
01:42:23.880 --> 01:42:31.159
pocketed the silver, and now Private
Pinkerton went on the subaltern. You're an

838
01:42:31.199 --> 01:42:36.800
intelligent sort of blighter. You know, the men in this particular section of

839
01:42:36.920 --> 01:42:44.960
hell that we've taken on on a
repairing lease until the resurrection. You've got

840
01:42:45.000 --> 01:42:49.439
a sort of way with you.
I don't know why, No more do

841
01:42:49.600 --> 01:42:56.840
I, sir, Private Pinkerton saluted
grimly. But the men will trust you

842
01:42:57.199 --> 01:43:01.960
and open out. There's some than
rotten in the state of what you call

843
01:43:02.039 --> 01:43:08.720
them. Quite a lot of the
men are uneasy, They're restless and worried.

844
01:43:09.560 --> 01:43:15.079
They don't know where they are half
their time. Evidently something on their

845
01:43:15.199 --> 01:43:21.399
minds got the jumps. For months
and months, they've been brave as tigers

846
01:43:21.680 --> 01:43:27.960
and threatened for the chance to climb
out of this filthy drain and have a

847
01:43:27.960 --> 01:43:33.800
whack at the stink and crowd of
measly mudlarks across the way. But just

848
01:43:34.119 --> 01:43:42.920
now, I believe the young officer
lowered his voice to a confidential pitch that

849
01:43:43.079 --> 01:43:48.439
if those Kaiser's kittens were to upend
and onto us, our chaps would cut

850
01:43:48.439 --> 01:43:54.960
and run like a lot of scared
school girls in a bullock field. It's

851
01:43:55.079 --> 01:44:02.760
extraordinary. It's damned extraordinary, and
it's heartbreak. And they've been doped or

852
01:44:02.840 --> 01:44:11.359
something. They're as flabby as stale
kippers. Have you any idea, none

853
01:44:11.359 --> 01:44:16.159
at all, Sir, replied Pinkerton, wondering what the boy was driving at.

854
01:44:17.800 --> 01:44:24.079
Well, here's another half crown.
It's your job to find out and

855
01:44:24.359 --> 01:44:30.439
sprinkle the insect powder of your persuasion
over the microbe that's gnawing at the immortal

856
01:44:30.640 --> 01:44:36.800
souls of your pals. You shall
have a free hand, for God's sake,

857
01:44:38.000 --> 01:44:43.359
do something to ginger up this bit
of trench. It's dead serious.

858
01:44:44.039 --> 01:44:48.840
It's got to be done, and
done quickly. If you can't talk them

859
01:44:48.840 --> 01:44:54.760
out of their dejection, drive some
sense into em with the toe of your

860
01:44:54.840 --> 01:45:01.760
boot. I can't kick a whole
company, Sir, replied Pinkerton, but

861
01:45:02.199 --> 01:45:08.720
I'll do my best. Thanks,
said the boy, with just a little

862
01:45:08.840 --> 01:45:14.119
shake in his voice that made the
private soldier respect him all the more.

863
01:45:15.319 --> 01:45:21.119
It's a bargain shake. He put
out his hand in the grip of friendliness,

864
01:45:21.199 --> 01:45:30.119
which followed Pinkerton felt the metallic pressure
of another half crown. The shades

865
01:45:30.159 --> 01:45:36.319
of night were falling fast when Private
Pinkerton came upon the leviathan figure of Piper

866
01:45:36.439 --> 01:45:43.600
mc quirk, squatting by fearless flossy
the machine gun at an angle of the

867
01:45:43.680 --> 01:45:49.399
trench. He was swaying to and
fro, groaning with his head upon his

868
01:45:49.560 --> 01:45:56.920
hands, His pipes unheeded, lay
at his feet. And if ever a

869
01:45:57.000 --> 01:46:03.960
man was the perfect incarnation of the
Uga despair, Piper mcquirk was that man.

870
01:46:05.319 --> 01:46:12.800
Hello, mac began Pinkerton, opening
his campaign on a cheerful note.

871
01:46:13.800 --> 01:46:21.239
What's up? Piper mcquirk looked up
wearily and shook his red head. Pinky.

872
01:46:21.359 --> 01:46:28.920
He replied, I cannot highly tell, but tis something uncanny an awful.

873
01:46:29.760 --> 01:46:32.680
Would you be so kind as to
cast and inquire an eye at my

874
01:46:32.880 --> 01:46:40.760
tongue? He opened his mouth and
in the gloaming, produced a flickering length

875
01:46:40.840 --> 01:46:48.119
of something in the shadows of the
evening, remarked Pinkerton. All cats and

876
01:46:48.199 --> 01:46:55.239
all tongues are gray. But if
you'll hold on, I'll see what I

877
01:46:55.319 --> 01:47:02.039
can do. He struck a match
one of those wrench asphyxiators and held it

878
01:47:02.159 --> 01:47:10.520
under the piper's nose until mcquirk spluttered
and wheezed like a damp squib. When

879
01:47:10.920 --> 01:47:15.920
at last the flame flared up,
it disclosed a tongue like the skin of

880
01:47:15.960 --> 01:47:27.319
a speckled toad. MM commented,
Pinkerton, any symptoms, Piper mcquirk rolled

881
01:47:27.319 --> 01:47:32.039
off a list which would fill a
column advertisement of the most sensational of all

882
01:47:32.199 --> 01:47:40.119
patent medicines. I thought I'd try
to breathe into the pipes, he added,

883
01:47:41.000 --> 01:47:45.439
just to see how the bellows worked, Pinky. But at the very

884
01:47:45.520 --> 01:47:49.600
first puff, something went off at
the back of my ears, like the

885
01:47:49.720 --> 01:47:56.680
cracker doom, and the agony of
it was worse than ten thousand toothaches.

886
01:47:57.800 --> 01:48:04.960
Then I saw becks before the eyes, ay, millions of specs, laddie,

887
01:48:05.640 --> 01:48:13.920
bad dreams, miserable thoughts, lack
of vital force, loss of appetite,

888
01:48:14.560 --> 01:48:18.039
all that and more. And it's
not only me, but the rest

889
01:48:18.039 --> 01:48:27.399
of the lads most are our lot. Pinky man Monet's offer. Pinkerton speedily

890
01:48:27.520 --> 01:48:33.960
discovered that mcquirk's mournful tile was only
too true. Even old Pants had got

891
01:48:34.000 --> 01:48:42.199
it whatever it was, and got
it badly. He confessed that he felt

892
01:48:42.279 --> 01:48:48.319
little better than a shadow of himself, and jumped like a nervous coult this

893
01:48:48.600 --> 01:48:55.800
sid and war scarred veteran. Whenever
a shell pot or a whiz bang whiz

894
01:48:55.920 --> 01:49:03.479
banged in all fifteen, the two
good men, valiant men and true confessed

895
01:49:03.560 --> 01:49:12.279
to fear, dread of something indefinite, but uncanny and horrible. What could

896
01:49:12.319 --> 01:49:18.399
it be? Was this some new
insidious devilment conceived by the huns, some

897
01:49:18.520 --> 01:49:27.479
invisible intangible gas pumped from the opposite
trenches, or a new microbe bred in

898
01:49:27.520 --> 01:49:34.760
the ghastly laboratory of armageddon, the
germ of terror. Pinkerton worked hard,

899
01:49:35.239 --> 01:49:43.479
desperately hard among the despondent ones one
and all. They only groaned at him.

900
01:49:44.479 --> 01:49:49.000
Sick at heart, he turned back
along the trench, baffled and bewildered,

901
01:49:49.399 --> 01:49:58.520
to confess his failure, when suddenly
specks began floating and flickering before his

902
01:49:58.720 --> 01:50:04.800
eyes. Something went click at the
back of his head, and mortal fear

903
01:50:05.079 --> 01:50:13.680
gripped him as in a vice by
gum. He muttered to himself, I've

904
01:50:13.800 --> 01:50:20.520
got it at last. The long
hospital train, emblazoned with the Red Cross

905
01:50:20.960 --> 01:50:29.800
and heavily passengered with casualty, crawled
into the base terminus at Boulogne. The

906
01:50:29.960 --> 01:50:34.640
medical officer and his orderly were ticking
off the arrivals as if they were so

907
01:50:34.720 --> 01:50:43.600
many bales of merchandise consigned for delivery. Twenty four stretcher cases, light wounds,

908
01:50:43.920 --> 01:50:50.640
heads, arms and legs, forty
one lying down cases, bronchial thirty

909
01:50:50.680 --> 01:50:59.199
six setting up cases various. Then
a pause, as from the end portion

910
01:50:59.279 --> 01:51:06.159
of the train, certain muffled sounds
emerged. A pause followed by the appearance

911
01:51:06.479 --> 01:51:13.920
of our sixteen nights of the rueful
Countenance, led by three of the stoutest

912
01:51:14.000 --> 01:51:20.359
hearts that ever quailed before the Specter
of castor Oil, Sergeant Major Singleton,

913
01:51:20.920 --> 01:51:30.000
otherwise known as pants Piper, Sandy
mcquirk of the Irrepressible ninety ninth and Private

914
01:51:30.079 --> 01:51:40.520
Pinkerton and sixteen Morgan cases. Sir
cataloged the faithful orderly, producing his scissors

915
01:51:41.000 --> 01:51:48.279
preparatory to snipping off the identifying labels
of mcquirk, Pants and Company. Sixteen

916
01:51:48.680 --> 01:51:57.279
walking cases repeated the medical officer as
he licked the stump of his indelible pencil.

917
01:51:58.680 --> 01:52:05.079
Let me see what did you say? They were corporal squills sixteen walk

918
01:52:05.159 --> 01:52:15.199
and cases repeated the orderly mumps.
The three half crowns were burning a hole

919
01:52:15.319 --> 01:52:21.279
in Pinkerton's trouser pockets. And as
he passed Corporal Squills, an idea struck

920
01:52:21.359 --> 01:52:28.319
him. Have you got good teeth, my son? He asked? The

921
01:52:28.560 --> 01:52:34.239
orderly flashed a double row of them
in a cheerful grin, in guarantee as

922
01:52:34.279 --> 01:52:41.119
good as set as any of you
terriers, he said, Then will you

923
01:52:41.279 --> 01:52:45.800
kindly gnasham for all your worth?
On behalf of me and my two pounds.

924
01:52:47.079 --> 01:52:53.640
Private Pinkerton pressed the three coins into
the palm of the surprised young soldier.

925
01:52:54.840 --> 01:53:00.800
We'll have seven and sixpence worth,
he said, And now then up

926
01:53:00.960 --> 01:53:12.880
and nashum. That concludes chapter seven
of Private Pinkerton Millionaire and continues with chapter

927
01:53:13.000 --> 01:53:20.279
eight The Prussian Blues. It was
at the base that I first met the

928
01:53:20.560 --> 01:53:29.000
inglorious three Pinkerton. Piper mc quirk
and the brindle had war bitten son of

929
01:53:29.039 --> 01:53:34.600
a gun known all the way from
Cathay to camberwell as pants. Otherwise,

930
01:53:34.960 --> 01:53:45.039
Sergeant Major Singleton Swanker was there too, but of him Anon they were gloomy

931
01:53:45.199 --> 01:53:50.479
and angry, and anybody who happened
to touch either of them on the roar

932
01:53:51.159 --> 01:53:58.239
might look out for squalls. You
only had to mention one word out of

933
01:53:58.279 --> 01:54:04.640
the variegated diction of the British Army
to set the feathers flying, and that

934
01:54:04.920 --> 01:54:14.159
one word was mumps. They were
getting well, but was still mightily sore

935
01:54:14.720 --> 01:54:21.680
when I tumbled across them, sitting
savagely on overturned wine casks in Alisa's snug

936
01:54:21.760 --> 01:54:30.279
little bar back of the tantillery's station. There were still certain glandulous swellings marking

937
01:54:30.319 --> 01:54:38.039
the visage of the huge and terrible
piper, whose awesome appearance was enhanced by

938
01:54:38.079 --> 01:54:45.279
about a week's growth of fiery,
straggling beard of the consistency and the appearance

939
01:54:45.600 --> 01:54:54.159
of a badly molting doormat Old Pants
had grown side whiskers at which the whole

940
01:54:54.199 --> 01:55:00.960
world sniggered in passing. Even Kay's
little lot, newly landed on an alien

941
01:55:01.119 --> 01:55:06.600
shore, would cackle as they pass. The dour Sergeant Major with his saddle

942
01:55:06.640 --> 01:55:14.399
bags a stream in the blowing morning. Pants would eye them severely as they

943
01:55:14.439 --> 01:55:24.880
swung by. All right, you
expliev expliev expliev explievs. Do you think

944
01:55:25.000 --> 01:55:30.720
I'm going to shave myself to please
a lot of explivs like you? Wait

945
01:55:30.800 --> 01:55:36.359
until you get into the trenches and
begin to cry for your mammies. Oh,

946
01:55:36.560 --> 01:55:45.760
you expletives. And Piper mcquirk,
stalwart friend and ally, would add

947
01:55:45.000 --> 01:55:53.159
in his picturesque Kayland fling of best
Scott Shrapnell a few suitable words of heathery

948
01:55:53.279 --> 01:56:01.760
benediction, and the incident temporarily would
close. Then Private Pinkerton would lead the

949
01:56:01.840 --> 01:56:08.960
pair in his quiet way, one
under each arm, to the goblin cave

950
01:56:09.359 --> 01:56:15.680
reigned over by Elise. Well,
if you won't have another foaming gobbler tob

951
01:56:15.680 --> 01:56:23.760
Elissa's sudden death, said Pinkerton,
let me offer you a cigarette, a

952
01:56:24.079 --> 01:56:32.720
genuine straight cut. He suddenly flashed
before my eyes a gold case so bejeweled

953
01:56:32.920 --> 01:56:41.159
and chased and everything else that I
gasped and shaded my eyes. I always

954
01:56:41.319 --> 01:56:47.399
thought, said I, that you
were a lunatic plutocrat. That's me,

955
01:56:48.239 --> 01:56:56.239
replied Pinkerton, blinking rapidly in that
funny little way of his. But you

956
01:56:56.359 --> 01:57:01.159
needn't give the game away, my
dear friend k A grimy thumb towards the

957
01:57:01.199 --> 01:57:09.119
other two. Keep it dark,
he whispered, if only they knew it

958
01:57:09.159 --> 01:57:15.920
would bust the whole bloom and show. But that gold diamond, ruby,

959
01:57:15.279 --> 01:57:25.960
amethyst, sapphire, emerald top has
case surely murmured Pinkerton, shutting up his

960
01:57:26.119 --> 01:57:34.319
shining treasure with a snap. Thereby
hangs a tail, and straightway he launched

961
01:57:34.399 --> 01:57:42.560
into it. This happened, he
began, before we were all cemented in,

962
01:57:43.079 --> 01:57:48.880
consolidated and joined up like drain pipes
in an irrigation pasture, when we

963
01:57:48.960 --> 01:57:56.079
could move and breathe and bust about
a bit. I got a job,

964
01:57:56.520 --> 01:58:02.399
a general headquarters job, which was
quite promising as a picnic. It was

965
01:58:02.520 --> 01:58:09.359
to act as guide to a staff
major on a long motor scoot from P

966
01:58:09.920 --> 01:58:16.960
somewhere to Z somewhere. Our route, which was carefully marked out, embraced

967
01:58:17.039 --> 01:58:23.560
a long road running through a sort
of gully, and known by the jocks

968
01:58:24.079 --> 01:58:30.199
who got such a dusting there as
the Pass of Killy Cranky. The pass

969
01:58:30.319 --> 01:58:36.880
was seemingly as safe as Bond Street
on a Saturday afternoon. For one brigade

970
01:58:36.880 --> 01:58:43.479
of our cavalry was in occupation of
one side of it, and the something

971
01:58:43.800 --> 01:58:49.680
Lancers with another big crowd on the
other side. Entering the pass, we

972
01:58:49.680 --> 01:58:57.279
were held up by a sentry of
the B Something's alt, says he,

973
01:58:58.199 --> 01:59:02.399
noticing me, but not twigging the
Major, who was behind in the car.

974
01:59:03.319 --> 01:59:09.520
I'm in a hurry, said I, and I haven't the time areb

975
01:59:09.720 --> 01:59:16.000
blowed? Replied the sentry. A
re's the wrong password in this circus or

976
01:59:16.119 --> 01:59:24.279
out old cock? And at that
instant he spotted the Major fuming behind.

977
01:59:25.399 --> 01:59:32.520
What the devil began the Major,
whereupon the sentry upped and saluted. BEG

978
01:59:32.680 --> 01:59:38.199
pardon, sir, He said to
me, Oh, I hadn't observed the

979
01:59:38.239 --> 01:59:44.600
gentleman behind with a strip of his
chest protector round his hat, pass gent

980
01:59:45.039 --> 01:59:50.680
with the red flannel bandage. Wha, said red flannel, sheltered mcquirk,

981
01:59:51.159 --> 01:59:59.760
swinging round fiercely on his wine cask. Calm yourself, Mac, responded Pinkerton.

982
02:00:00.640 --> 02:00:05.880
There's nothing personal in the illusion.
And then to me, poor old

983
02:00:06.000 --> 02:00:12.800
Mac, he's still thinking of the
mumps. The very sight of red flannel

984
02:00:13.079 --> 02:00:19.520
will set his teeth chattering. So
to resume, we passed, and I

985
02:00:19.720 --> 02:00:26.359
kept on laughing all the time as
we drove along. What's the joke?

986
02:00:27.239 --> 02:00:31.760
Asked the Major. The strip of
chess protector around your hat, Sir,

987
02:00:32.640 --> 02:00:39.920
said I, pointing to the scarlet
band which marks the nests and the agamemnons

988
02:00:40.000 --> 02:00:46.079
of the British Army. Anyway,
it saved our bacon this time, retorted

989
02:00:46.079 --> 02:00:51.960
the Major. You never know your
luck, said I, and you never

990
02:00:53.079 --> 02:00:59.119
do. We hadn't gone another mile
along that blessed road when there was a

991
02:00:59.159 --> 02:01:03.640
fearful clown are on ahead, and
a mass of figures suddenly loomed out of

992
02:01:03.680 --> 02:01:11.439
the mist making for us. Hell
for leather here, Easy on, you

993
02:01:11.760 --> 02:01:18.159
fatheads, sheltered the Major. We
are British. The next moment they were

994
02:01:18.199 --> 02:01:27.720
on us, and a gruff voice
grunted out gardoon out of dat gar germans

995
02:01:27.800 --> 02:01:33.840
by gosh, and my friend with
the chess protector round his at Pinkerton chuckled,

996
02:01:34.600 --> 02:01:40.800
stuffed up to the armpits with papers
and plans and things which would not

997
02:01:40.960 --> 02:01:46.479
only give away our own private little
show, but upset the carefully laid plans

998
02:01:46.520 --> 02:01:55.720
of General French and the whole British
expeditionary Force. I twisted round sharp to

999
02:01:55.800 --> 02:02:01.000
the Major, nabbed, Sir,
says I, we must think of something

1000
02:02:01.199 --> 02:02:10.840
quick. Thunder mutters the Major,
these blasted papers. You'll have to eat

1001
02:02:10.880 --> 02:02:16.680
em, sir, I whispered,
eatam, growls the Major, and I

1002
02:02:16.720 --> 02:02:25.000
could see his jaws working at the
horrid thought. Eatam, by George,

1003
02:02:25.359 --> 02:02:31.960
do you shake me for a Bloomin's
Zoological Gardens elephant on bank holiday? Well,

1004
02:02:32.359 --> 02:02:38.119
to cut a long story short,
they were all over us in next

1005
02:02:38.159 --> 02:02:44.119
to no time. A great lumbering
ass of a German officer with a skull

1006
02:02:44.199 --> 02:02:49.439
and crossbones grinning on his shining helmet, came up and asked me who I

1007
02:02:49.760 --> 02:02:56.920
was. I told him I was
a British general out for a joy ride.

1008
02:02:58.000 --> 02:03:03.800
And the gentleman behind, who is
he? My servant, said I,

1009
02:03:04.760 --> 02:03:11.239
and I heard the Major's teeth snap. They made us haul the car

1010
02:03:11.359 --> 02:03:16.399
onto the roadside, and the skull
and crossbones Johnny ordered me to produce my

1011
02:03:16.640 --> 02:03:24.760
arms. Of course I hadn't any. The only missile I possessed was an

1012
02:03:24.760 --> 02:03:31.920
electric torch, which the officer instantly
appropriated. Whilst I was clearing my pockets

1013
02:03:31.960 --> 02:03:38.319
of all sorts of things, the
Major was quietly ridding himself of his own

1014
02:03:38.520 --> 02:03:44.319
arsenal, A couple of Smith and
Wesson revolvers, and twenty five rounds,

1015
02:03:44.479 --> 02:03:50.479
which he dropped tenderly into the ditch
beside him. Then a sentry was placed

1016
02:03:50.560 --> 02:03:58.239
on our car and we navigated Killiecrankie, cleaned through our own two lines of

1017
02:03:58.319 --> 02:04:03.199
cavalry, and the Germans as bold
as brass, though they hadn't the ghost

1018
02:04:03.239 --> 02:04:11.319
of an idea what they were running
through the wonder was that we weren't spotted

1019
02:04:11.520 --> 02:04:17.279
and cut to ribbons by our own
crowd. Presently the road opened out,

1020
02:04:17.720 --> 02:04:24.199
and we drove into a desolate little
village, where there were shoals of Germans

1021
02:04:24.279 --> 02:04:31.319
bolting about everywhere and going to earth
like scared rabbits. A guard's officer rode

1022
02:04:31.439 --> 02:04:39.560
up on a splendid horse and began
questioning the century. In his voice and

1023
02:04:39.680 --> 02:04:45.680
his face, I thought I recognized
an old acquaintance, Carl von s Something,

1024
02:04:46.439 --> 02:04:51.399
whom I had met in Vancouver and
had played auction with many a time.

1025
02:04:53.880 --> 02:04:59.520
Oh, pardon me, said I, but aren't you Carl von s

1026
02:05:00.119 --> 02:05:05.880
Thing. No, he replied,
but I am his brother Fritz, and

1027
02:05:06.000 --> 02:05:13.840
I am very pleased to meet you. We got quite chummy yarning together and

1028
02:05:14.000 --> 02:05:19.960
exchanging experiences. If there's anything I
can do for you, he said,

1029
02:05:20.640 --> 02:05:28.319
I shall be charmed. I replied
that I should be greatly obliged if he

1030
02:05:28.399 --> 02:05:32.119
would ask the century to be a
little more careful with his shooting iron.

1031
02:05:33.239 --> 02:05:40.680
With pleasure, replied the captain,
and turning to the Century, he said,

1032
02:05:41.640 --> 02:05:46.239
this prisoner is a gentleman and a
friend of mine. You may put

1033
02:05:46.359 --> 02:05:53.079
your pistol away. He will give
you his word of honor not to play

1034
02:05:53.279 --> 02:06:00.600
any tricks. Much obliged, said
I, and things were more comfortable after

1035
02:06:00.720 --> 02:06:06.439
that. As we left the village, my new friend shook me warmly by

1036
02:06:06.479 --> 02:06:13.560
the hand, wish me good luck, and insisted upon my accepting this gold

1037
02:06:13.600 --> 02:06:20.720
cigarette case as a souvenir of our
meeting. Goodbye and good luck were his

1038
02:06:20.920 --> 02:06:28.800
last words. I am going into
action, and that's the last I ever

1039
02:06:28.880 --> 02:06:33.039
saw of him. In a minute
or two, the shells began to whine

1040
02:06:33.319 --> 02:06:42.439
and to plunk around. The fight
opened suddenly and unexpectedly. The whole business

1041
02:06:42.800 --> 02:06:47.600
was a hellish, horrid mix up, and I remember only vaguely as a

1042
02:06:47.720 --> 02:06:53.840
sort of thundering nightmare, with the
major and me in the thick of it,

1043
02:06:54.439 --> 02:07:00.119
dodging our own shells and bullets,
and at last crawling into a ditch

1044
02:07:00.239 --> 02:07:06.159
and skulking there with nearly a hundred
Prussians, all in a blue funk Prussian

1045
02:07:06.319 --> 02:07:14.279
blue. They didn't take the slightest
notice of us. I hadn't been in

1046
02:07:14.359 --> 02:07:20.640
that snuggery more than five minutes before
I saw Fritz's great gray charger come smashing

1047
02:07:20.760 --> 02:07:29.600
through the hedge ridle us and smothered
with blood. Fritz's accouterments were there,

1048
02:07:29.640 --> 02:07:34.439
his sword, his revolver, and
his dandy saddle bags. But there was

1049
02:07:34.520 --> 02:07:42.520
no Fritz. He had been blown
to kingdom. Come how did we come

1050
02:07:42.560 --> 02:07:48.760
out of it? Well? Private
Pinkerton paused and blinked again in that funny

1051
02:07:48.800 --> 02:07:55.319
little way of his. That too, was a sort of a dream,

1052
02:07:56.039 --> 02:08:01.520
and I've never yet been able to
define the realities from the visions. The

1053
02:08:01.600 --> 02:08:07.039
whole of this bloody war seems to
be a dream, with our little life

1054
02:08:07.520 --> 02:08:16.039
rounded in a sleep. Pinkerton laughed
and pointed to mcquirk and old Pants,

1055
02:08:16.720 --> 02:08:24.560
nodding like mandarins, each upon his
separate wine cask. And there are two

1056
02:08:24.640 --> 02:08:31.800
examples, two points the moral and
adorn the tail. Hi, wake up,

1057
02:08:31.840 --> 02:08:41.640
you blighters. That concludes Chapter eight
of Private Pinkerton Millionaire, and is

1058
02:08:41.680 --> 02:08:54.720
also the end of section four Section
five of Private Pinkerton Millionaire by Harold Ashton.

1059
02:08:56.680 --> 02:09:03.199
This LibriVox recording is in the public
domain, Chapters nine and ten.

1060
02:09:03.760 --> 02:09:15.479
Chapter nine Swanker the Invincible. It
was during Private Pinkerton's blissful period of convalescence

1061
02:09:15.600 --> 02:09:22.199
at Boulogne, that's the dog Swanker
first drifted into his innocent, cherubic young

1062
02:09:22.359 --> 02:09:31.880
life. Swanker, like Caesar,
came saw and conquered. He was a

1063
02:09:31.039 --> 02:09:39.119
mongrel of many bewildering mixtures, but
with the superintelligence of most mongrels, which

1064
02:09:39.199 --> 02:09:45.840
is extensive and peculiar, knew where
to go, what to look for,

1065
02:09:46.239 --> 02:09:52.640
and how to win victories. Victories
of craft as well as victories of two

1066
02:09:52.199 --> 02:10:00.840
claw. Swanker resembled nothing on this
earth. In the dog Line. He

1067
02:10:01.000 --> 02:10:05.520
happened to be taking the air one
mild afternoon on the ramparts up in the

1068
02:10:05.600 --> 02:10:13.920
old town, disconsolate, woebegone and
half starved, when he was pounced upon

1069
02:10:13.399 --> 02:10:20.520
by a couple of the French Gendarmerie, and would undoubtedly have been shot as

1070
02:10:20.520 --> 02:10:26.880
a German spy and his miserable carcass
flung to the ravens, but for the

1071
02:10:26.000 --> 02:10:35.039
intervention of two humane remnants of the
British Army Private Pinkerton and Piper mc quirk

1072
02:10:35.439 --> 02:10:43.479
to wit, They too were sunning
themselves. They witnessed the threatening tragedy,

1073
02:10:43.600 --> 02:10:50.239
rescued the dog and carried him in
triumph to their quarters. Mc quirk,

1074
02:10:50.560 --> 02:10:58.199
an authority on dogs, confessed himself
entirely beaten by this amiable but perplexing quadruped.

1075
02:11:00.640 --> 02:11:05.720
There's near oot. He said that
a very large mixed pack fought for

1076
02:11:05.800 --> 02:11:11.279
the honor of this animal's parentage fore
and aft. He's a boot, the

1077
02:11:11.399 --> 02:11:20.880
strangest muddler dog flesh I ever saw, And yet, remarked Pinkerton, there's

1078
02:11:20.960 --> 02:11:26.279
something familiar about the beggar's face somehow, now you come to mention it.

1079
02:11:26.720 --> 02:11:37.039
There is, declared the Scot,
a sort of family likeness at certain angles,

1080
02:11:37.199 --> 02:11:43.239
particularly at full face, and not
so observable in the profile, went

1081
02:11:43.319 --> 02:11:52.199
on mc quirk, twisting the amenable
doggie's face this way and that by gum,

1082
02:11:52.479 --> 02:12:00.279
cried Pinkerton at length. I've got
it. It's old pants, the

1083
02:12:00.520 --> 02:12:05.840
very image of him with those wild
new whiskers of his, Ah Doggie,

1084
02:12:05.880 --> 02:12:13.560
he shouted, laughing, march across
to the sergeant major and claim your relationship

1085
02:12:15.159 --> 02:12:22.479
shaking violently the scrag of his rapscallion
tail. The dog trotted across to Singleton

1086
02:12:22.960 --> 02:12:28.399
and raised a disreputable poor wait till
I get you back to the trenchers,

1087
02:12:30.239 --> 02:12:37.319
growled Singleton, I'll wring your blessed
necks. See if I don't, And

1088
02:12:37.520 --> 02:12:43.680
meanwhile, said Pinkerton, we'll christen
the new member of the family Trousers.

1089
02:12:46.159 --> 02:12:52.760
But trousers was a fatal word to
the dog. Whenever it was called.

1090
02:12:52.239 --> 02:12:58.000
He went for the nearest pair of
them, with such a complete disregard for

1091
02:12:58.239 --> 02:13:03.319
friend and foe alike that his name
had to be changed by deed Pole,

1092
02:13:03.359 --> 02:13:13.079
and changed it was to Swanker.
Swanker and Pinkie soon became the dearest of

1093
02:13:13.199 --> 02:13:22.880
friends, inseparable as David and Jonathan. Swanker's passion for companionship was only equalled

1094
02:13:22.119 --> 02:13:28.680
by his irrepressible love for a scrap. He would fight anything with a tail

1095
02:13:28.760 --> 02:13:35.119
and four legs, though he was
only a middleweight in the canine ring.

1096
02:13:35.840 --> 02:13:41.319
He would drive at a great Dane
or a wolf hound with a cheerful disregard

1097
02:13:41.439 --> 02:13:48.840
for consequences and careless of life,
death or the great hereafter every French pood

1098
02:13:48.920 --> 02:13:56.840
or in Boulogne fled at the distant
sight of him. Once along the Whimarow

1099
02:13:56.000 --> 02:14:03.880
road he met at Daxond, and
some uncanny instinct telling him that it was

1100
02:14:03.000 --> 02:14:09.760
German, tore it to pieces in
the bloodiest dog fight ever witnessed on the

1101
02:14:09.840 --> 02:14:18.159
French coast. He got one fearful
dusting at the hands or rather the jaws

1102
02:14:18.199 --> 02:14:22.920
of a liver and tan bulldog,
but he killed the bulldog, and the

1103
02:14:24.039 --> 02:14:28.319
Royal Army Medical Corps corporal who sat
up all night with him at the critical

1104
02:14:28.439 --> 02:14:35.000
turning point of his wounds, declared
he had never assisted at such a wonderful

1105
02:14:35.119 --> 02:14:43.680
rally. The pace was getting too
hot to last. Pinkerton and mcquirk sat

1106
02:14:43.800 --> 02:14:52.960
in solemn court Marshaw upon their outrageous
pet The accumulative evidence against Paul Swanka was

1107
02:14:54.159 --> 02:15:01.159
terrific. He was sentenced to death, to be shot at door. Sorrowfully

1108
02:15:01.760 --> 02:15:09.079
and with a sinking heart, Pinkerton
borrowed a revolver, and one cold,

1109
02:15:09.319 --> 02:15:16.119
cheerless morning, under a watery sunrise, led the shaggy eared culprit out upon

1110
02:15:16.159 --> 02:15:22.960
the yellow sands at low tide.
Mcquirk dug a deep hole with a trenching

1111
02:15:22.039 --> 02:15:31.680
tool. Swanker sitting by and watching
the operation with the liveliest interest, imagining

1112
02:15:31.880 --> 02:15:41.000
that this was a ratting expedition arranged
entirely for his benefit and edification. Deeper

1113
02:15:41.319 --> 02:15:48.600
and deeper grew the grave, intenser
and more eager the anticipatory quivers of Swanker,

1114
02:15:50.760 --> 02:15:58.279
But no rat appeared. Only water
began to gurgle up as mcquirk jabbed

1115
02:15:58.319 --> 02:16:07.359
on halfheartedly at his sexton task.
Then Swanker happened to look up. He

1116
02:16:07.399 --> 02:16:13.640
saw his master standing by, revolver
in hand, and the message of death

1117
02:16:13.039 --> 02:16:22.039
shining through his tear dimmed eye.
Instantly, the dog understood they were intending

1118
02:16:22.159 --> 02:16:28.840
to murder him, these bloodthirsty pirates, once his dear and devoted friends.

1119
02:16:30.279 --> 02:16:37.280
He sat down upon his haunches,
raised his ragged whiskers heavenward, and began

1120
02:16:37.360 --> 02:16:43.840
to howl so mournfully that Pinkerton,
with the tears actually streaming down his face,

1121
02:16:45.680 --> 02:16:52.799
handed the revolver to mcquirk. Here
mahec he said, you do it,

1122
02:16:52.600 --> 02:16:58.440
you're a better shot. Mcquirk took
the revolver, looked at it,

1123
02:17:00.559 --> 02:17:05.719
looked at the dog, and then
flung the weapon into the yawning grave.

1124
02:17:07.000 --> 02:17:11.879
Be damned if I do, he
growled, i'd i'd rather shoot Masal.

1125
02:17:13.399 --> 02:17:22.200
Warned by his narrow escape from execution, Swanker became a model dog. The

1126
02:17:22.319 --> 02:17:28.040
rake's progress had been checked, but
his fame had already been noised abroad,

1127
02:17:28.760 --> 02:17:37.280
even as far as that mysterious place
known as General Headquarters, where apparently they

1128
02:17:37.440 --> 02:17:46.040
know most things. So it happened
that one fine day a challenge came down

1129
02:17:46.159 --> 02:17:54.879
from Headquarters inviting Swanker to mortal combat
with one ugly. Thus ran the challenge.

1130
02:17:56.719 --> 02:18:01.559
We have heard of the exploits of
Swanker, the property of Private Pinkerton.

1131
02:18:03.719 --> 02:18:09.280
It is our firm belief that in
our champion we possess the ugliest and

1132
02:18:09.399 --> 02:18:18.840
the fiercest fighter in Flanders. We
hereby challenge Corporal Swanker a sc to meet

1133
02:18:18.959 --> 02:18:28.360
Sergeant Ugly GHQ to fight twenty five
rounds, catch as catch can, at

1134
02:18:28.440 --> 02:18:35.360
any handy spot, within or without
the meaning of the act. Stakes five

1135
02:18:35.479 --> 02:18:43.440
pounds aside money down. This is
too good to miss, declared Pinkerton.

1136
02:18:45.360 --> 02:18:52.120
It's a soft thing, I said
mcquirk. And to back my stirling belief

1137
02:18:52.120 --> 02:18:58.840
in Swanker's powers as a fighter,
I am prepared to rest that fiver you

1138
02:18:58.000 --> 02:19:07.159
gave me if anybody's making a book
on the probabilities of the situation. Forthwith,

1139
02:19:07.639 --> 02:19:13.799
Swanker was put into strict training,
much to his disgust. His jam

1140
02:19:15.000 --> 02:19:18.680
was cut down, and he was
put upon a diet of bully beef and

1141
02:19:18.920 --> 02:19:26.680
biscuit to harden his teeth and augment
his angry passions. There is no doubt

1142
02:19:26.879 --> 02:19:33.520
that after his escape from the death
sentence, he had been getting soft and

1143
02:19:33.799 --> 02:19:41.040
rather apt to follow the line of
least resistance. But soon the old devilry

1144
02:19:41.280 --> 02:19:48.440
and the old snarl came back.
He was allowed one or two rehearsals.

1145
02:19:48.239 --> 02:19:56.120
The manner in which he polished his
rivals off showed that Swanker was himself again.

1146
02:19:58.040 --> 02:20:03.319
A heavy book was made on the
forthcoming combat, and when the tense

1147
02:20:03.399 --> 02:20:09.920
evening of the fight arrived, the
arena was packed with a brown faced throng

1148
02:20:09.719 --> 02:20:16.680
all, a throb with expectation,
and every man jack with something on.

1149
02:20:18.760 --> 02:20:28.879
Sergeant Ugly arrived from General Headquarters in
a box inscribed Smithson's shredded marmalade, strongly

1150
02:20:28.959 --> 02:20:35.879
corded and very carefully perforated with their
holes to allow for the deep breathing of

1151
02:20:35.120 --> 02:20:46.799
GHQ's ferocious champion. Muted thunderstorms and
volcanoes could be heard reverberating inside the marmalade

1152
02:20:46.879 --> 02:20:54.239
case. Swanker was already in possession
of the floor, striding up and down

1153
02:20:54.399 --> 02:21:00.639
with a proud sense of ownership,
and well aware that something was in the

1154
02:21:00.719 --> 02:21:07.799
wind. The boys hailed him with
a yell of encouraging welcome, but the

1155
02:21:07.000 --> 02:21:15.000
ugly contingent, and they were pretty
strong. After a critical survey of Swanker's

1156
02:21:15.040 --> 02:21:22.040
points, were prepared to sacrifice their
shirts on the contents of the shredded marmalade

1157
02:21:22.159 --> 02:21:30.319
box. In a tense silence,
Ugly's trainer, a bandy legged little Yorkshireman,

1158
02:21:30.959 --> 02:21:35.079
uncorded the box, jerked the lid
off, and tipped it at an

1159
02:21:35.120 --> 02:21:43.079
angle of forty five. Swanker stiffened
his four legs wide apart, like a

1160
02:21:43.159 --> 02:21:48.079
wrestler at the crouch, his ears
back, his spinal hairs erect, and

1161
02:21:48.239 --> 02:21:56.879
porcupine or whatever was inside that box, he was ready for it, rat

1162
02:21:56.559 --> 02:22:07.040
cat, dog or hip popotamus rap. He crouched for the spring, Every

1163
02:22:07.079 --> 02:22:13.399
inch and every ounce of him measured
and steeled for the great combat. The

1164
02:22:13.440 --> 02:22:18.319
marmalade box tipped over and fell on
its side, and out of it emerged

1165
02:22:18.479 --> 02:22:24.319
a yellowish brown spectacle, frothing at
one end and flickering at the other,

1166
02:22:26.159 --> 02:22:33.280
lashed to fury with a wild yell. Swanker bounded forward, bounded like a

1167
02:22:33.440 --> 02:22:41.000
leopard, and then stopped suddenly,
as the incarnate Fury before him did exactly

1168
02:22:41.079 --> 02:22:50.360
the same. For there, opposite
Swanker, on the sanded floor stood Swanker's

1169
02:22:50.360 --> 02:22:58.120
exact and absolute double flesh of his
flesh, bone of his bone, hair

1170
02:22:58.479 --> 02:23:05.000
of his hair, Ougly, his
twin brother, from the self same litter,

1171
02:23:05.319 --> 02:23:13.079
whose origin is rapt and ever will
be in the profoundest canine mystery,

1172
02:23:13.200 --> 02:23:20.719
the recognition was mutual. Both dogs, rushing for the onslaught like tilting knights

1173
02:23:20.760 --> 02:23:26.639
of old, pulled themselves up on
their haunches, and came to astonished anchorage

1174
02:23:26.840 --> 02:23:35.000
within a nose breadth of one another. The snarling anger on their countenances gave

1175
02:23:35.120 --> 02:23:43.399
way to expressions of complete astonishment and
amaze. They both gave utterance to the

1176
02:23:43.520 --> 02:23:52.280
same ejaculation of sheer wonderment. Well, I'm damned, then, with happy

1177
02:23:52.399 --> 02:23:58.600
yelps of fond family acquaintanceship once more
renewed with merry, gambol and cavought,

1178
02:24:00.319 --> 02:24:07.639
they flung themselves so to speak into
one another's arms. I'll trouble ye for

1179
02:24:07.799 --> 02:24:16.799
that five A piper mcquirk whispered an
insinuating voice, and the scot having bettered

1180
02:24:16.920 --> 02:24:22.959
rashly for the first and last time
in his life by backing Swanker to win

1181
02:24:22.000 --> 02:24:30.000
out right, handed it over with
a great sigh, And to an irishman

1182
02:24:30.079 --> 02:24:39.879
too, he muttered, there'll be
another court martial tomorrow mornin. That concludes

1183
02:24:39.120 --> 02:24:48.799
chapter nine of Private Pinkerton Millionaire.
The section continues with chapter ten, Baby

1184
02:24:48.920 --> 02:24:58.159
Bunting, This isn't exactly a healthy
road for traveling in broad daylight, said

1185
02:24:58.280 --> 02:25:09.399
Pinkerton. There goes another with the
wail of a lost spirit suffering a very

1186
02:25:09.440 --> 02:25:16.120
bad attack of toothache. A roving
shell screamed overhead, and Pinkerton and his

1187
02:25:16.280 --> 02:25:24.600
companion wallowed in the mire for a
spell flat as flounders. No, replied

1188
02:25:24.799 --> 02:25:31.280
the engineer, I should think it
ballywell, isn't. But we ain't out

1189
02:25:31.360 --> 02:25:37.319
here exactly for our health. What
yeah? He spat out a mouthful of

1190
02:25:37.440 --> 02:25:46.159
germanus flounders grit, and then raised
his head cautiously surveying the landscape. There

1191
02:25:46.200 --> 02:25:52.360
were only two of them on this
trip Pinkerton, because he was supposed to

1192
02:25:52.719 --> 02:26:00.360
know the road. There wasn't any
road, but that didn't matter. The

1193
02:26:00.479 --> 02:26:07.760
young engineer his companion, Pinkerton,
traveling light, had his rifle and a

1194
02:26:07.799 --> 02:26:15.319
few rounds of ammunition only with him. The engineer was unarmed. He was

1195
02:26:15.360 --> 02:26:20.799
a pallid, slim young man,
with a face sick lead or with the

1196
02:26:20.959 --> 02:26:26.959
pale cast of thought, a tight
hard mouth, and crisp hair curling under

1197
02:26:28.040 --> 02:26:33.040
his cap above his ears. His
hair showed gray, though he could not

1198
02:26:33.200 --> 02:26:41.040
have been much over twenty. But
there is nothing unusual in that many of

1199
02:26:41.079 --> 02:26:46.600
the sappers and miners of the Royal
Engineers in this war are methuselahs to look

1200
02:26:46.639 --> 02:26:54.799
at. It is their job that
makes them so. This young old man

1201
02:26:54.079 --> 02:27:01.440
had a gray jersey tightly drawn over
his shirt. He was wearing shorts and

1202
02:27:01.639 --> 02:27:07.319
running shoes, and slung from his
shoulder was a canvas bag. The general

1203
02:27:07.360 --> 02:27:15.159
appearance of him reminded Pinkerton of the
old paper chasing days at school, but

1204
02:27:15.440 --> 02:27:22.760
the illusion of hare and hounds ended
at the contents of the canvas bag inside

1205
02:27:22.760 --> 02:27:31.079
it, instead of torn up copybooks, their reposed sticks of dynamite. The

1206
02:27:31.159 --> 02:27:37.520
objective of this couple of adventurers was
at present out of sight beyond the tuft

1207
02:27:37.559 --> 02:27:43.280
of trees over the ridge known as
no Man's Cemetery. It was a small

1208
02:27:43.360 --> 02:27:50.840
farmhouse perilously close to the German lines, and though invisible now to Pinkerton and

1209
02:27:52.040 --> 02:27:58.520
his companion, could be plainly seen
from the British position. And it was

1210
02:27:58.760 --> 02:28:05.079
in the way. It had to
be removed speedily and with as little fuss

1211
02:28:05.280 --> 02:28:11.719
as possible. Two or three neatly
placed shells could have done it easily enough,

1212
02:28:11.520 --> 02:28:18.639
but that would have disclosed the lair
of the recently arrived Royal Field Artillery

1213
02:28:18.920 --> 02:28:26.079
battery, and until the time came
for barking, that battery had to lie

1214
02:28:26.399 --> 02:28:33.040
doggo. So the pleasant little task
of lifting it was handed out to Corporal

1215
02:28:33.159 --> 02:28:41.879
Anstruther, Royal Engineer, with Pinkie
as guide, philosopher and friend. Night

1216
02:28:41.239 --> 02:28:48.840
is generally chosen for those ticklish jobs, but this being an emergency hustle,

1217
02:28:48.479 --> 02:28:54.360
it had to be carried out in
the full glare of day, somewhat to

1218
02:28:54.440 --> 02:29:01.319
the annoyance of mister Anstruther. At
this moment a devil dance of shell and

1219
02:29:01.440 --> 02:29:07.680
shrapnel was going on overhead and all
around. For some reason, or other.

1220
02:29:07.159 --> 02:29:15.520
The German gunners were suffering a very
jumpy attack of nerves. Presently there

1221
02:29:15.639 --> 02:29:20.079
was a lull, and Pinkerton under
the engineer, took advantage of it to

1222
02:29:20.200 --> 02:29:28.040
advance in a succession of desperate cruels
to the ridge. Here another fuse are

1223
02:29:28.120 --> 02:29:33.639
laid opened, and the two took
shelter under the lee of a huge recumbent

1224
02:29:33.799 --> 02:29:43.360
German. This celephantine hun advertised very
unpleasantly the fact that he had been dead

1225
02:29:43.680 --> 02:29:54.440
many days few ejaculated Anstruther from his
side of the body kindly partial gold stoppered

1226
02:29:54.680 --> 02:30:00.920
bottle of smelling salts. Pinkie,
I'd rather be punctured than poisoned any day.

1227
02:30:01.959 --> 02:30:07.440
Let's get a move on and chance
the ducks. So they chanced it

1228
02:30:07.959 --> 02:30:15.920
and crawled along snakily toward the farmhouse. There's somebody on the roof, said

1229
02:30:16.000 --> 02:30:22.840
Pinkerton, as a bullet pinged past
his ear. Sniper replied the engineer,

1230
02:30:24.879 --> 02:30:31.360
wait until I get underneath him with
this little boxer tricks. He patted his

1231
02:30:31.479 --> 02:30:39.280
canvas bag lovingly. Then ill wish
he hadn't. The steel curve of his

1232
02:30:39.479 --> 02:30:46.920
resolute mouth straightened out almost to a
grin thanks to the broken ground in the

1233
02:30:48.000 --> 02:30:56.040
vicinity. They reached the farmhouse without
further adventure, and Pinkerton's job, according

1234
02:30:56.120 --> 02:31:01.680
to his instructions, was over,
but he intended staying to see the game

1235
02:31:01.879 --> 02:31:09.840
through at a safe distance. He
watched a struther cruel toward a small lean

1236
02:31:09.920 --> 02:31:16.360
two with a sloping roof of corrugated
iron built onto the northern end of the

1237
02:31:16.440 --> 02:31:24.440
house, Carrying his precious canvas bag
in his teeth like a retriever. The

1238
02:31:24.559 --> 02:31:33.040
engineer wriggled through the small window and
disappeared from his hiding place behind the dunghill.

1239
02:31:33.680 --> 02:31:39.680
Pinkerton watched the house and particularly the
roof, with the keen eye of

1240
02:31:39.680 --> 02:31:46.600
the trained observer. Nothing moved above
or below. The farmhouse appeared to be

1241
02:31:46.719 --> 02:31:56.520
empty and desolate, and the sniper
vanished. Then very gingerly, he crept

1242
02:31:56.639 --> 02:32:01.319
round to the other side of the
building, found and unboarded window pretty high

1243
02:32:01.440 --> 02:32:07.600
up, hoisted himself by a sheer
effort of muscle until his eyes were level

1244
02:32:07.680 --> 02:32:13.479
with the sill, and looked into
the room for an instant and no more.

1245
02:32:15.879 --> 02:32:20.879
At the sight which confronted him,
his grip gave wire upon the edge

1246
02:32:20.879 --> 02:32:24.840
of the window sill, and he
fell back with a thud, he felt

1247
02:32:24.959 --> 02:32:31.600
his hair rise. A sudden suffusion
of cold sweat drenched him like a shower

1248
02:32:31.639 --> 02:32:37.879
bath. Sitting in the middle of
the room at a small table was a

1249
02:32:37.959 --> 02:32:46.079
mild featured, spectacled German, bald, fat and beaming. Though he was

1250
02:32:46.159 --> 02:32:52.200
wearing the familiar gray uniform and the
high boots of the Saxon regiment to which

1251
02:32:52.200 --> 02:33:00.239
he belonged, he presented more the
appearance of an amiable retired pork butcher than

1252
02:33:00.280 --> 02:33:07.680
a soldier. On his knee was
a small child, extravagantly dressed in black,

1253
02:33:07.120 --> 02:33:13.440
with a big black bow in her
yellow hair. In spite of her

1254
02:33:13.520 --> 02:33:18.479
garb of orphan woe, she was
laughing gaily as the fat, fatherly old

1255
02:33:18.680 --> 02:33:24.479
German jigged her up and down upon
his knee to the gallop. No doubt

1256
02:33:24.920 --> 02:33:33.399
of something akin to the old refrain. Baby baby bunting, Daddy's gone a

1257
02:33:33.600 --> 02:33:43.879
hunting. The amazing unexpected pitcher photographed
itself indelibly upon Pinkerton's brain. It had

1258
02:33:43.959 --> 02:33:50.440
been the merest lightning flash of a
snapshot, but he remembered every tiny detail

1259
02:33:50.520 --> 02:33:56.600
of it ever afterwards. The merry
light in the child's blue eye, the

1260
02:33:56.760 --> 02:34:03.920
flash of baby teeth, as she
at the reflected beam of gaiety in the

1261
02:34:03.959 --> 02:34:11.200
old German's countenance, his treble chin, the goggly gleam of his immense glasses,

1262
02:34:11.040 --> 02:34:16.920
the shine of his bald head,
the telephone at his elbow on the

1263
02:34:16.959 --> 02:34:22.639
little table, even the huge signet
ring on his finger. In a few

1264
02:34:22.719 --> 02:34:31.159
seconds, according to the widest calculation, that farmhouse would be a splintered smash

1265
02:34:31.280 --> 02:34:37.799
of utter ruin. Mister Anstruther,
Royal Engineer, was not a man to

1266
02:34:37.040 --> 02:34:43.959
waste precious time. Already, no
doubt, the fuse was laid the young

1267
02:34:45.040 --> 02:34:52.239
man in the football jersey, deliberately
ticking off the seconds. The problem was

1268
02:34:52.920 --> 02:34:58.360
what to do, the best thing, the quickest. Not an instant could

1269
02:34:58.360 --> 02:35:05.760
be lost. A thousand schemes flashed
through Pinkerton's head, one tumbling over the

1270
02:35:05.760 --> 02:35:13.239
other in confusion, worse confoundered.
But it was instinct which sped him round

1271
02:35:13.280 --> 02:35:18.840
to the other side of the house
to meet and Struther. Wriggling backwards out

1272
02:35:18.879 --> 02:35:26.760
of the little window. He dropped
lightly, turned and saw Pinkerton, pallid

1273
02:35:26.920 --> 02:35:35.000
and gasping, standing by him.
Scout said the engineer, best foot foremost,

1274
02:35:35.319 --> 02:35:39.760
or it will be kingdom come.
Why what's up? Man, you

1275
02:35:39.920 --> 02:35:46.840
look as though you've seen a ghost. Quick, quick, quick, gasped

1276
02:35:46.920 --> 02:35:52.719
Pinkerton, fighting for the words that
would not come. For God's sake,

1277
02:35:52.120 --> 02:36:00.479
there's a kiddie in the house,
christ said the engineer, jerking up his

1278
02:36:00.600 --> 02:36:05.879
left arm and looking at the dial
of his wristwatch. In sixty five seconds,

1279
02:36:07.680 --> 02:36:13.319
I might just do it. He
made a wild dive for the little

1280
02:36:13.360 --> 02:36:18.959
window like a swimmer, hands up. Pinkerton saw his legs squirming as he

1281
02:36:20.040 --> 02:36:24.159
wormed his body through the aperture,
and himself rushed round to the other side

1282
02:36:24.159 --> 02:36:28.840
of the house. The latch of
the door, which was closed, would

1283
02:36:28.879 --> 02:36:37.120
not yield to his fumbling fingers.
He hurled himself upon it, shoulder foremost

1284
02:36:37.159 --> 02:36:43.600
with the old football charge. It
gave inwards with a resounding crash. He

1285
02:36:43.840 --> 02:36:50.120
staggered into the room. The old
German was still fondling the little French child.

1286
02:36:52.479 --> 02:36:56.079
At the smash of the bursting door, he gathered her to his breast

1287
02:36:56.159 --> 02:37:03.239
with one arm, and, seeing
Pinkerton standing there, considered him naturally enough

1288
02:37:03.760 --> 02:37:11.159
as an enemy. He grabbed his
rifle and fired it one handed and clumsily

1289
02:37:11.399 --> 02:37:16.399
at Pinkerton. The noise of the
explosion in the confined space of the small

1290
02:37:16.520 --> 02:37:24.799
room was deafening. The bullet struck
the ceiling high over Pinkerton's head. The

1291
02:37:24.000 --> 02:37:33.920
child screamed out out yelled Pinkerton,
give me the child, you idiot,

1292
02:37:33.959 --> 02:37:39.440
this house's mind. In less than
half a minute we shall all be blown

1293
02:37:39.479 --> 02:37:46.120
to hell. Ah Axe, jabbered
the German, who did not comprehend,

1294
02:37:46.920 --> 02:37:52.959
And as he was preparing to fire
again, Pinkerton flung himself upon the vast

1295
02:37:52.079 --> 02:37:58.120
bulk of the man hit him a
smashing blow under the jaw. It was

1296
02:37:58.280 --> 02:38:03.719
cruel with so old a man,
but necessary, and dragged the screaming child

1297
02:38:03.760 --> 02:38:09.840
away, And as he backed out
of the door, still urging the old

1298
02:38:09.920 --> 02:38:16.000
man to follow him, he saw
the bewildered hun groping for the telephone receiver.

1299
02:38:16.399 --> 02:38:22.559
Then he ran and ran, with
the child, half strangling him as

1300
02:38:22.559 --> 02:38:28.280
she clutched at his neck. After
all, perhaps and Struther, royal engineer,

1301
02:38:28.719 --> 02:38:33.559
had managed to break the fuse in
time. There had been no explosion.

1302
02:38:35.520 --> 02:38:41.879
Wonderful chap and Struther. He looked
back. There was the farmhouse,

1303
02:38:41.639 --> 02:38:48.920
quiet, lonely and silent. As
z Eva, I want to go back

1304
02:38:48.520 --> 02:38:56.319
dag home, wiled the frightened child. Take me back home. She waved

1305
02:38:56.360 --> 02:39:03.840
her little hand toward the farmhouse,
then stared with amazed, wide open eyes

1306
02:39:03.399 --> 02:39:09.959
as the whole building suddenly collapsed.
A puff of smoke shot out from the

1307
02:39:11.079 --> 02:39:16.399
roof. Then there was a roar, and the shock of it flung Pinkerton

1308
02:39:16.520 --> 02:39:22.159
and the child, unharmed, upon
the soft earth. Corporal and Struther,

1309
02:39:22.639 --> 02:39:28.079
Royal Engineer, had accomplished the first
part of the task he had set out

1310
02:39:28.120 --> 02:39:35.479
to do. As for the second, well, something must have gone wrong

1311
02:39:35.559 --> 02:39:41.479
with the time fuse, or perhaps
the amiable old hun the pork butcher in

1312
02:39:41.600 --> 02:39:50.000
uniform had blundered again. We shall
never know, for the record of Corporal

1313
02:39:50.000 --> 02:39:58.280
and Struther's career ends in the official
list. Thus and Struther, James,

1314
02:39:58.760 --> 02:40:09.440
Corporal oil Engineer missing. That concludes
chapter ten of Private Pinkerton Millionaire and is

1315
02:40:09.520 --> 02:40:24.840
also the end of section five Section
six of Private Pinkerton Millionaire by Harold Ashton.

1316
02:40:24.760 --> 02:40:31.559
This LibriVox recording is in the public
domain. Chapters eleven and twelve.

1317
02:40:33.799 --> 02:40:41.600
Chapter eleven, Home, Sweet Home
Home Again. Not a flying matinee,

1318
02:40:41.879 --> 02:40:48.719
as was occasioned by the special visit
to Jesse in lant Street, Borough and

1319
02:40:48.840 --> 02:40:54.399
the delivery of her diamonds, but
a real holiday this time one and worked

1320
02:40:54.399 --> 02:41:03.799
for most valiantly funny feeling. This
mused Pinkerton as he found himself in the

1321
02:41:03.879 --> 02:41:11.399
waterly road at two o'clock on a
cold and clammy morning, well plastered with

1322
02:41:11.559 --> 02:41:18.159
dried Flanders mud, unshaven, gummy
eyed, and such a rapscallion to look

1323
02:41:18.239 --> 02:41:24.120
upon that he would not have been
surprised had a policeman come along and arrested

1324
02:41:24.200 --> 02:41:31.799
him there and then as a wanderer
without visible means, Instead of which a

1325
02:41:31.879 --> 02:41:39.360
bright eyed damsel with vermillion lips and
a priceless ostrich feather curling saucily over her

1326
02:41:39.440 --> 02:41:50.600
left ear danced up alongside Hallo Daggie
said she bag again. I fancy there

1327
02:41:50.639 --> 02:41:56.959
must be some mistake, began Pinkerton, icily polite. I don't think I

1328
02:41:58.079 --> 02:42:05.159
have the pleasure. Oh rats,
retorted the lady. Come off the grass,

1329
02:42:05.280 --> 02:42:11.360
marmaduke. But no offense meant Elgin, and I should think to look

1330
02:42:11.399 --> 02:42:16.719
at you. You are one of
them onward Christian soldiers boys. I guess

1331
02:42:16.760 --> 02:42:24.840
I know what you want. Hymns, hot coffee and Allelujah's. Come along.

1332
02:42:26.079 --> 02:42:30.760
I'll lead you to it. Don't
be frightened. I ain't gonna eat

1333
02:42:30.799 --> 02:42:37.680
you. As for the hymns,
said Pinkerton, looking this bold young amazon

1334
02:42:37.079 --> 02:42:43.440
straight in the eye. I don't
feel exactly inclined for bursting into song at

1335
02:42:43.440 --> 02:42:50.559
the present moment, but the hot
coffee would be most acceptable. So,

1336
02:42:52.120 --> 02:42:56.719
without more ado, the lady of
the ostrich feather seized our hero by the

1337
02:42:56.959 --> 02:43:03.040
arm and let him feel slee into
the anti zeppelin gloom of South London,

1338
02:43:03.959 --> 02:43:15.879
depositing him presently at a wide doorway
bearing the triangular insignia of the ymcap inside,

1339
02:43:16.559 --> 02:43:20.520
said she and have a good old
blowout. It's only a tanner,

1340
02:43:20.879 --> 02:43:28.799
and a hems is optional. I'm
very much obliged, stammered Pinkerton, hesitating.

1341
02:43:30.799 --> 02:43:37.520
But oh, said the girl suddenly, I see how the land lies.

1342
02:43:37.559 --> 02:43:43.079
Why didn't you tell me? Silly? She dived into the flashy little

1343
02:43:43.159 --> 02:43:50.280
vanity bag hanging on her arm,
produced sixpence from it, and forced it

1344
02:43:50.440 --> 02:43:58.920
into Pinkerton's hand. Dear Clarence,
she cried, Tod. Now you're a

1345
02:43:58.000 --> 02:44:05.120
blooming millionaire, and don't make a
nasty little beast of yourself with the tanner.

1346
02:44:05.319 --> 02:44:11.319
The blooming millionaire shook his head.
I really couldn't think, he began

1347
02:44:11.520 --> 02:44:20.000
hastily, But before he could return
the sixpence gloriana of the ostrich curl had

1348
02:44:20.120 --> 02:44:28.159
vanished. A mocking laugh rang out
of the unfolding darkness. In the big,

1349
02:44:28.360 --> 02:44:35.200
warm, aromatic room of the YMCA, Pinkerton found a sufficiency of spiritual

1350
02:44:35.399 --> 02:44:43.360
and material consolation to keep him going
for a long time. Heartcakes and hot

1351
02:44:43.360 --> 02:44:50.600
coffee filled him with comfort and warmth. He found no immediate necessity to spend

1352
02:44:50.600 --> 02:44:56.079
the sixpence thrust upon him by his
unknown friend. He never intended to.

1353
02:44:58.479 --> 02:45:05.920
He meant to treasure for luck.
Besides, he was a millionaire, and

1354
02:45:05.639 --> 02:45:15.120
sixpence was sixpence. With the disappearance
of the last heartcake him, books were

1355
02:45:15.159 --> 02:45:20.520
handed round to the crowd of replete
and sleepy tommies. A jolly, fat

1356
02:45:20.559 --> 02:45:28.600
old gentleman with a shiny bald head
comically ringed with little curls below the ears,

1357
02:45:28.360 --> 02:45:33.520
gave out to him with such gusto
and such a beam behind his wide

1358
02:45:33.520 --> 02:45:41.520
spectacles, that it sounded as if
he were making a joke him seventy nine

1359
02:45:41.680 --> 02:45:52.399
in the appendix omitting the sixth,
seventh and eighth verses. Now all together,

1360
02:45:52.479 --> 02:46:00.120
boys, let up your heads,
ye gates of brass ye bars I

1361
02:46:01.040 --> 02:46:07.360
yield the tune was the grand old
heir of Saint Anne. There were some

1362
02:46:07.479 --> 02:46:15.760
tough and terrible sinners in this strange, mud splashed congregation, but every malefactor

1363
02:46:15.879 --> 02:46:20.680
of them knew the tune, and
they absolutely ripped it out, much to

1364
02:46:20.879 --> 02:46:30.079
the delight of the comical world.
Gentleman with the girls capital Capitol says he

1365
02:46:30.639 --> 02:46:37.399
waving his arms. That's grand.
Now for the next verse, give it

1366
02:46:37.559 --> 02:46:48.520
tongue that baner brighter than the LEAs
a trade of night shines on the march,

1367
02:46:48.719 --> 02:46:56.680
and guys from far his servans to
the fights. Let's have a deco

1368
02:46:56.879 --> 02:47:01.520
at the book of words, mate, whispered the soldier Sinner, who was

1369
02:47:01.639 --> 02:47:09.959
standing next to Pinkerton. Give overlooked
me and handing out the glory jasmy luck.

1370
02:47:09.799 --> 02:47:16.559
But I want to bear a hand
in this is real jam. So

1371
02:47:16.799 --> 02:47:22.600
Pinkerton shared his hymn book, and
together these two battle scarred veterans obeyed the

1372
02:47:22.719 --> 02:47:31.360
precept of the curly haired old gentleman
and made the rafters ring. Though view

1373
02:47:31.600 --> 02:47:39.840
and small, and we cure bands
strong in your captain's strength, go to

1374
02:47:39.479 --> 02:47:48.159
the conquest of all lands or mars. Be his sad length. Never in

1375
02:47:48.239 --> 02:47:54.959
the history of ancient and modern was
a hymn trolled forth with more gusto,

1376
02:47:54.799 --> 02:48:01.479
more ripe relish. A wonderful chord
was struck in the hearts of these homing

1377
02:48:01.559 --> 02:48:07.719
warriors. The beauty of the words, the swing of the grand old tune,

1378
02:48:09.120 --> 02:48:13.799
appealed to them. They bombarded the
listening night with the melody of it.

1379
02:48:16.120 --> 02:48:22.280
At the end of the verse,
Pinkerton's companion, bursting with a patriotic

1380
02:48:22.520 --> 02:48:30.079
enthusiasm nothing could restrain, jumped upon
his chair, and almost before the last

1381
02:48:30.200 --> 02:48:37.799
word had died away, caroled with
great heart, singing, Rule Britannia,

1382
02:48:37.280 --> 02:48:45.399
Britannia, Rule the waves bray ends, never, never never. Every man

1383
02:48:45.520 --> 02:48:50.360
in the room took it up,
and even the harmonia mist, who had

1384
02:48:50.399 --> 02:48:56.920
been framing his fingers to strike the
final chord of a man, rose to

1385
02:48:56.000 --> 02:49:03.760
the occasion. At the right moment
found the key of Rule Britannia, and

1386
02:49:03.040 --> 02:49:07.440
carried on, shoving the nie well
out as far as it would go.

1387
02:49:09.159 --> 02:49:16.799
To Fortissimo, it was prime,
the obest gentleman with the little curls round

1388
02:49:16.840 --> 02:49:24.959
his ears, mopped his shiny brow
and stared round him in amazement. Well

1389
02:49:26.360 --> 02:49:33.760
well, he cried, beaming once
more boys will be boys, and I

1390
02:49:33.840 --> 02:49:41.000
suppose soldiers will be soldiers. That
was very stirring upon my soul, it

1391
02:49:41.280 --> 02:49:52.319
was, and quite original. And
now perhaps the young er gentleman who was

1392
02:49:52.440 --> 02:50:01.319
responsible for that quite entertaining into metso
would oblige the assembled company by getting up

1393
02:50:01.360 --> 02:50:09.799
once more and saying a few words. The ruled Britannia enthusiast turned pale with

1394
02:50:09.879 --> 02:50:16.680
a fear greater than the fear of
Germans at their worst. Oh lord,

1395
02:50:16.479 --> 02:50:22.559
he murmured in Pinkerton's ear. Now
I have been and gone and done it.

1396
02:50:22.520 --> 02:50:28.200
I always am goin and doin it. Worse luck if I did think

1397
02:50:28.239 --> 02:50:33.639
that they're him wanted a sort of
rounding up with a chorus, or didn't.

1398
02:50:33.639 --> 02:50:39.360
I let it go at that and
keep my mouth shut. And now

1399
02:50:41.000 --> 02:50:46.719
they want me to get up on
my own legs and preach me. He

1400
02:50:46.959 --> 02:50:54.799
groaned and buried his face in his
hands. Just a few words, urged

1401
02:50:54.879 --> 02:51:01.120
Pinkerton in the spirit of ruled Britannia. It would please is the old gentleman.

1402
02:51:01.479 --> 02:51:07.840
Not for nuts, not for monkey
nuts, he declared, still looking

1403
02:51:09.120 --> 02:51:16.760
very frightened. Well, the plump
gentleman beamed more than ever in the direction

1404
02:51:16.840 --> 02:51:24.360
of private Pinkerton and his trembling neighbor, who at this rose unsteadily to his

1405
02:51:24.479 --> 02:51:31.200
feet amid a rattle of applause from
the assembled soldiery Begging your pardon, sir

1406
02:51:31.559 --> 02:51:37.840
and comrades all, he said,
in a horse husky voice. It really

1407
02:51:37.879 --> 02:51:45.920
can't be done. Doctor's orders,
sir and comrades all. But I'm suffering

1408
02:51:46.159 --> 02:51:52.920
from the effects of asphyxia and gas
poisoning. He ended his apologia in a

1409
02:51:54.000 --> 02:52:00.920
horse horrible whisper, and sank down
upon his seat again in a well simulated

1410
02:52:00.959 --> 02:52:09.159
attitude of absolute exhaustion. Take me
out of this, he whispered to Pinkerton

1411
02:52:09.399 --> 02:52:13.680
in a hurried aside. Take me
out, or I shall go off pop.

1412
02:52:16.600 --> 02:52:20.799
In the cold, cheerless glimmer of
an autumn dawn, Pinky and his

1413
02:52:20.959 --> 02:52:26.680
new acquaintance turned up their khaki collars
to their ears, and they're tired,

1414
02:52:26.799 --> 02:52:35.959
grimy faces to the sunrise. The
alleged sufferer from asphyxiating gas poisoning produced a

1415
02:52:37.159 --> 02:52:43.760
purloined heartcake from his pocket and nibbled
at it. We're now mate, he

1416
02:52:43.920 --> 02:52:54.360
said, crummily, Home, replied
Pinkerton with great cheerfulness. Hoe retorted the

1417
02:52:54.479 --> 02:53:01.159
humorist with more bitterness than humor in
his voice. Husky no longer now that

1418
02:53:01.280 --> 02:53:07.920
the rotun gentleman of the curls and
the hymn books was beyond ear shot Home?

1419
02:53:07.120 --> 02:53:13.840
Is it carriages at two thirty am? Carriages in the Waterloo Road?

1420
02:53:15.719 --> 02:53:24.760
I don't think. Well, there's
always Shanks's pony remarks the amiable Pinkie and

1421
02:53:24.000 --> 02:53:30.440
Euston station. Isn't a Berlin route? March from here? That's my jumping

1422
02:53:30.479 --> 02:53:37.879
off place? And you private Pinkerton's
companion laughed a hard, mirthless laugh.

1423
02:53:41.360 --> 02:53:46.280
Me home, my name's Bill Bailey, and I ain't got no home.

1424
02:53:48.200 --> 02:53:54.120
I'm a explete, if outcast I
am when I'm at home. When I'm

1425
02:53:54.120 --> 02:54:00.239
in the army, I'm just a
explete. If number number six heaven,

1426
02:54:00.399 --> 02:54:05.280
I ate three, And if I
was pipped, nobody would shed a tear

1427
02:54:05.440 --> 02:54:09.879
over me, unless it might happen
to be the cat's meat man in blood

1428
02:54:09.959 --> 02:54:16.639
Lane Oxton, who io were Bob
too? And just now I'm a loose

1429
02:54:16.799 --> 02:54:24.319
ended, sentimental, immoleran ooligan.
We've nothing to do but go on the

1430
02:54:24.440 --> 02:54:31.760
jag and get jugged and serve me
explete. If well, right, then,

1431
02:54:33.079 --> 02:54:37.440
if that's the case, said Pinkerton
briskly. You might as well come

1432
02:54:37.479 --> 02:54:41.959
along with me. There's room for
two of us. That's my little place.

1433
02:54:43.079 --> 02:54:48.200
It's rather a long way, but
I hope you won't mind the journey.

1434
02:54:48.319 --> 02:54:54.680
RYO, I'm game, replied mister
Bailey as he cheerily linked his arm

1435
02:54:54.760 --> 02:55:03.719
with Pinkerton's lead. On Mac,
whatever your bloomin' name is. That concludes

1436
02:55:03.920 --> 02:55:13.799
chapter eleven of Private Pinkerton Millionaire.
The section continues with chapter twelve, The

1437
02:55:13.920 --> 02:55:22.040
Killing of the Fattered Calf, Crampets
and Christianity, mused mister William Bailey,

1438
02:55:22.639 --> 02:55:30.719
yawning cozily in his corner of the
railway carriage as he surveyed past events in

1439
02:55:30.840 --> 02:55:37.719
a philosophic vein not so bad,
may I served up n smogan. Four

1440
02:55:37.840 --> 02:55:43.520
wicked young soldiers let out avow for
a bit to get their second wind,

1441
02:55:43.639 --> 02:55:50.399
so to speak. They're a well
meaning lot, these ymci blokes. You

1442
02:55:50.639 --> 02:55:56.120
may come again, as I call
em. But he shook his head.

1443
02:55:58.639 --> 02:56:03.920
Look here, broke in Pinkerton,
who was mortal tired and wanted to go

1444
02:56:05.079 --> 02:56:09.559
to sleep. You go and get
yourself filled up to your back teeth with

1445
02:56:09.600 --> 02:56:16.920
their heartcakes and their hot coffee.
And then you start criticizing them. Ungrateful

1446
02:56:18.079 --> 02:56:26.040
swine me ungrateful. Not a bit
of it, declared the soldier. Or

1447
02:56:26.079 --> 02:56:33.479
he was only going to remark when
you blew in that they very nearly succeeded

1448
02:56:33.719 --> 02:56:41.799
in converting me for the seventeenth time. Being originally a Plymouth brother, oh,

1449
02:56:41.319 --> 02:56:48.680
groaned Pinkerton, a Plymouth brother by
birth and upbringing, went on mister

1450
02:56:48.799 --> 02:56:56.719
Bailey with a bland smile. A
burglar by conviction, five convictions at least,

1451
02:56:58.520 --> 02:57:05.639
and finally a soldier by force of
circumstances over which I add no control

1452
02:57:05.959 --> 02:57:15.399
worth speaking of a burglar, gasped
Pinkerton. Yee gods and little fishes.

1453
02:57:16.600 --> 02:57:22.440
He suddenly realized what he had let
himself in for, and didn't quite know

1454
02:57:22.719 --> 02:57:28.680
whether to laugh or to be angry
at the dilemma. But he showed a

1455
02:57:28.799 --> 02:57:37.079
cheerful face to the impasse and laughed. Well what of it, asked the

1456
02:57:37.200 --> 02:57:43.280
militant cracksman. Haven't I done my
little bit? And what are you?

1457
02:57:43.879 --> 02:57:48.120
I should like to know? You
might be a murderer, or a millionaire,

1458
02:57:48.639 --> 02:57:54.120
or a cheesemonger, or don't exactly
know which of the threes the worst?

1459
02:57:56.239 --> 02:58:01.319
And haven't you done your little bit
blood and quids and cheese. We're

1460
02:58:01.360 --> 02:58:07.920
all in it, run or not, first past the post, so what's

1461
02:58:07.959 --> 02:58:16.360
the odds here? Mister Bailey dived
into the depths of his all containing pocket

1462
02:58:16.920 --> 02:58:24.399
and produced a further relic of the
hospitable You may come again as evernother artcake,

1463
02:58:26.000 --> 02:58:33.040
realizing for the first time what it
was to feel like an accessory after

1464
02:58:33.079 --> 02:58:41.120
the fact, and a receiver of
stolen property rolled into one private Pinkerton accepted.

1465
02:58:41.920 --> 02:58:48.319
The train stopped with a complaining squeak
of wheels at the little wayside station

1466
02:58:48.840 --> 02:58:56.559
near us to Thornycroft, Pinkerton's ancestral
mansion, and there at the carriage door

1467
02:58:58.159 --> 02:59:03.399
stood Pinkerton's faithful retainer, with a
pile of fur rugs over his arm.

1468
02:59:05.680 --> 02:59:13.520
Inside this honest soul's neat blue livery, a fierce furnace was raging a Vesuvian

1469
02:59:13.719 --> 02:59:20.920
roar of welcome, which very nearly
burst every coat button. But like the

1470
02:59:20.040 --> 02:59:26.799
well trained servant that he was,
Rogers showed no outward sign of the tumult

1471
02:59:26.920 --> 02:59:35.000
within, except perhaps for a certain
watering at the corners of the eye and

1472
02:59:35.159 --> 02:59:41.280
a twitching of the ears, such
as dogs display in moments of intense suppressed

1473
02:59:41.360 --> 02:59:48.799
excitement. If ever a human creature
was near Boston, he remarked later to

1474
02:59:48.920 --> 02:59:56.239
the Lady of his heart that human
creature was me. All he did was

1475
02:59:56.280 --> 03:00:03.319
to salute smartly, breathing hard.
Very pleased to see you, Rogers,

1476
03:00:03.239 --> 03:00:11.879
said Pinkerton. All well, all
well, sir, And the estate and

1477
03:00:11.159 --> 03:00:18.520
the pheasants top holes, sir,
beggin your pardon. The estates on its

1478
03:00:18.600 --> 03:00:24.079
hind legs with anticipation, sir.
And as for the pheasants, they're all

1479
03:00:24.319 --> 03:00:31.120
Diane, Sir. That's bad,
said Pinkerton. What's in the World's the

1480
03:00:31.239 --> 03:00:37.639
matter with them? Not so bad, sir, answered Rogers, with a

1481
03:00:37.719 --> 03:00:41.879
grin. They're all Diane. To
be shot by the Master, sir.

1482
03:00:43.399 --> 03:00:50.360
As this dialogue proceeded, the eyes
of mister William Bailey grew big and round

1483
03:00:50.399 --> 03:01:00.719
with wonderments. Ere he began,
what's this? What are you letting inform?

1484
03:01:00.760 --> 03:01:07.399
Mate? It's all serene, laughed
the Master of Thorneycroft, seizing the

1485
03:01:07.440 --> 03:01:13.239
militant burglar by the arm and shoving
him into the closed carriage standing by.

1486
03:01:13.079 --> 03:01:18.799
Whence he followed him. The door
banged, Rogers nipped up into the box

1487
03:01:18.840 --> 03:01:26.319
seat, and they were off with
an eye to the comfort of the homecoming

1488
03:01:26.399 --> 03:01:33.319
master. Missus Millwood, the housekeeper
at the craft, had abundantly loaded the

1489
03:01:33.360 --> 03:01:41.479
interior of the carriage with furs and
hot water bottles. Mister Bailey's eyes assumed

1490
03:01:41.639 --> 03:01:48.920
the semblance of saucers or in Jerusalem's
all this, he said, fumbling at

1491
03:01:48.959 --> 03:01:54.639
the furs and the hot water appliances. Is it an nurse or is it

1492
03:01:54.879 --> 03:02:03.959
a hamberlance? Well bows, I
shall wake up presently and find myself in

1493
03:02:03.000 --> 03:02:09.719
the same bloody old trench. What
are you laughing at, Father Christmas?

1494
03:02:11.120 --> 03:02:18.159
Oh, just thoughts, replied Private
Pinkerton, wiping his eyes. This mister

1495
03:02:18.280 --> 03:02:28.120
Bailey is home, Oh cheesette,
growled the burglar. Don't go a rubbing

1496
03:02:28.200 --> 03:02:35.479
of in For a moment he was
angry, then he felt ashamed of himself,

1497
03:02:37.200 --> 03:02:43.120
and then wrapping himself snugly in one
of the good Samaritan furred blankets,

1498
03:02:43.879 --> 03:02:50.120
fell to chuckling in the middle of
his somewhat forced hilarity. The carriage stopped

1499
03:02:50.280 --> 03:02:56.959
at the irresistible challenge of a bevy
of village school children, who grouped beneath

1500
03:02:58.040 --> 03:03:03.920
a huge oak tree, sang with
glad, clear little voices the national anthem

1501
03:03:03.959 --> 03:03:11.719
and his a health. Unto his
majesty, what's that for, asked the

1502
03:03:11.840 --> 03:03:18.959
burglar, cocking a listening. Here, that's for us, replied Private Pinkerton,

1503
03:03:20.600 --> 03:03:26.920
blushing and tremendously delighted. Well,
if I ain't damned, all ends

1504
03:03:28.040 --> 03:03:33.440
up, declared mister Bailey, poking
head and shoulders out of the carriage and

1505
03:03:33.719 --> 03:03:43.079
bowing elaborately to the enthusiastic kiddies.
Then he sank back with a plutocratic sigh

1506
03:03:43.760 --> 03:03:50.520
upon the soft cushions, and produced
another heartcake. Now I know just what

1507
03:03:50.680 --> 03:03:58.559
it feels like to be Queen Victoria, said he. There is no need

1508
03:03:58.680 --> 03:04:03.239
to dwell at length upon the further
incidents of that wonderful drive to the craft.

1509
03:04:05.239 --> 03:04:09.239
The cheers of the tenants gathered here
and there at the wayside, flag

1510
03:04:09.280 --> 03:04:18.200
wavings, handkerchief flutterings, an address
of welcome on Thorny Village Green, read

1511
03:04:18.200 --> 03:04:26.840
with tremendous dignity by mister Tubbins,
the Vicar's Churchwarden, and subscribed by everybody

1512
03:04:26.920 --> 03:04:31.120
the ancient of days who couldn't write, making their mark with as great a

1513
03:04:31.200 --> 03:04:39.680
pride as though they were signing and
ceiling Magna Charter, and many another pleasant

1514
03:04:39.000 --> 03:04:48.040
heartwarming incident. All that and much
more, but we cannot refrain from letting

1515
03:04:48.079 --> 03:04:54.760
out one little incident, though Pinky
might say, perhaps that it wasn't quite

1516
03:04:54.799 --> 03:05:01.680
fair. How when about midway through
the park, by a neat little cottage,

1517
03:05:01.920 --> 03:05:09.280
all ivy covered and deliciously snug and
comfy, Private Pinkerton, Lord now

1518
03:05:09.559 --> 03:05:16.639
and monarch of all he surveyed,
stopped the carriage, slipped out and played

1519
03:05:16.680 --> 03:05:24.040
a tattoo with his grubby knuckles upon
the oak. The door flies open,

1520
03:05:24.639 --> 03:05:30.360
and there in the frame of it
stands as pretty a picture as ever you

1521
03:05:30.479 --> 03:05:35.879
could wish to set eyes on.
A neat slip of a girl with braided

1522
03:05:35.920 --> 03:05:41.959
hair, bright sparkling eyes, the
flush of health upon her plump cheeks.

1523
03:05:43.120 --> 03:05:50.000
Jesse, by all that's wonderful,
Jesse of Lance Street, Borough, London,

1524
03:05:50.479 --> 03:05:56.840
see the girl that Brownie left behind
him. The flush deepens on her

1525
03:05:56.879 --> 03:06:05.319
pretty face, the arkle in her
eyes leaps to a flame. She hesitates

1526
03:06:05.360 --> 03:06:11.440
for a moment, and then jumps
at Private Pinkerton, flinging her arms round

1527
03:06:11.520 --> 03:06:18.399
his neck. Why she cries,
halfway between laughter and tears, if it

1528
03:06:18.479 --> 03:06:24.760
ain't Bill William the Conquerer, And
she kisses him again with a smack so

1529
03:06:24.879 --> 03:06:35.120
resounding. That's the imperturbable Rogers loses
his imperturbability for the first and only time

1530
03:06:35.559 --> 03:06:43.280
in recorded history. Oh says he, the minx, the forward hussy.

1531
03:06:43.639 --> 03:06:50.479
As for mister Bailey, watching the
scene from the carriage window, mister Bailey

1532
03:06:50.680 --> 03:06:56.239
is by this time too far gone
to be disturbed at anything that might happen.

1533
03:06:56.479 --> 03:07:01.680
Let him all come, is his
comment on the situation, and he

1534
03:07:01.760 --> 03:07:11.719
produces another heartcake the very last.
Then there is the welcome, the real

1535
03:07:11.879 --> 03:07:18.719
welcome home at the hall with Missus
Millwood, all smiles and sweet solicitude.

1536
03:07:18.200 --> 03:07:24.319
The dogs from the great Dane to
the tiny Pekinese, mad with joy over

1537
03:07:24.360 --> 03:07:31.520
the return of their master, but
somewhat suspicious, as all well brought up

1538
03:07:31.559 --> 03:07:37.479
dogs naturally would be of their master's
cracksman pal. The servants in a flutter

1539
03:07:37.520 --> 03:07:46.159
of excitement, everything to quote mister
Bailey's own comment on the situation, all

1540
03:07:46.280 --> 03:07:52.760
bottled bass and bath buns. And
finally the dinner that night in the famous

1541
03:07:52.879 --> 03:08:00.440
Yellow Room, with a very select
and special house party gathered there. Mister

1542
03:08:00.520 --> 03:08:07.600
Bailey, resplendent in evening dress borrowed
from the butler, takes down Lady Angelika

1543
03:08:07.719 --> 03:08:13.040
bless you. He is already quite
at home in all this elegant revelrie.

1544
03:08:13.680 --> 03:08:20.120
He has taken to it like a
duck to water. He is already a

1545
03:08:20.239 --> 03:08:28.040
hero. Pinky chuckles to himself as
he watches the comedy proceeding, catching here

1546
03:08:28.079 --> 03:08:35.440
and there a sentence of the polite
conversation. Oh don't suppose, Lady Angelica,

1547
03:08:35.559 --> 03:08:41.399
says mister Bailey, warming over his
wine, that you've ever been in

1548
03:08:41.440 --> 03:08:50.159
a manner O Speagan to hell.
Not not yet, mister Bailey replies her

1549
03:08:50.239 --> 03:08:56.440
ladyship, flashing a pair of violet
eyes at her companion. Would you care

1550
03:08:56.520 --> 03:09:03.799
to know what it's like? I
should be armed, declares Lady Angelica.

1551
03:09:03.159 --> 03:09:11.479
Wow, says mister Bailey, filling
up Lady Angelica's half emptied glass of eighty

1552
03:09:11.520 --> 03:09:18.920
two port with seventy nine sherry.
Well, it's like this here. That

1553
03:09:20.079 --> 03:09:26.639
concludes chapter twelve of Private Pinkerton Millionaire, and is also the end of section

1554
03:09:26.799 --> 03:09:41.399
six Section seven of Private Pinkerton Millionaire
by Harold Ashton. This libri box recording

1555
03:09:41.680 --> 03:09:50.840
is in the public domain. Chapters
thirteen and fourteen. Chapter thirteen, Uncle

1556
03:09:52.040 --> 03:10:03.680
Sam Mister William Bailey ex. Burglar
Munchausen indeeds during do Weaver of Wonderful Tales

1557
03:10:03.600 --> 03:10:11.120
was the great success of the house
party invited to Thornycroft to welcome Pinky home.

1558
03:10:11.280 --> 03:10:18.399
He shone like a star. His
displays were meteoric, or be it

1559
03:10:18.600 --> 03:10:24.360
a trifle startling. His vocabulary was
as mixed as the wines he consumed,

1560
03:10:26.079 --> 03:10:31.719
but his heroic spirit never wavered.
With the Rector on one side of him

1561
03:10:33.120 --> 03:10:39.840
and Lady Angelica on the other,
he kept them both fully occupied and abundantly

1562
03:10:39.239 --> 03:10:48.520
entertained. He was the hero of
the hour. There was something Miltonic in

1563
03:10:48.559 --> 03:10:54.200
the lurid picture of hell in Flanders. He drew for the edification, and

1564
03:10:54.520 --> 03:11:03.120
somewhat to the consternation of Lady Angelica, nished up with a wholly imaginative tribute

1565
03:11:03.200 --> 03:11:09.600
to Pinkerton, to whom he properly
thought something was due for the enjoyment of

1566
03:11:09.639 --> 03:11:18.799
this present bliss. And there he
said, balancing a piece of fileted soul

1567
03:11:18.000 --> 03:11:26.319
upon his silver fork. And there
Lady Angelina and ladies and gentlemen, all

1568
03:11:26.040 --> 03:11:31.159
amid all this aura and blood and
gore, with jaggy bits of the British

1569
03:11:31.280 --> 03:11:37.399
Army fallen all around like a red
snowstorm, and the ground earthquagan, and

1570
03:11:37.600 --> 03:11:43.280
even as if the owl of France
had swallowed the North Sea for an emetic

1571
03:11:43.840 --> 03:11:52.200
and was begging your pardon chatting up
its immortal soul. There on the edge

1572
03:11:52.200 --> 03:11:58.520
of a mine crayer, as cool
as Alesia calcumbers in an ice cream shop,

1573
03:11:58.159 --> 03:12:05.680
stood our gallant and honorable oast,
shooting dan Germans with one end,

1574
03:12:05.920 --> 03:12:11.280
with a revolver which was red hot
and smoke and woodbines with the other.

1575
03:12:11.520 --> 03:12:18.440
So calmi was that you might have
fought him on Acney Marshes on a pleasant

1576
03:12:18.520 --> 03:12:26.159
Sunday afternoon, except perhaps for the
rather extravagant way he had with him in

1577
03:12:26.360 --> 03:12:35.360
getting through the Goaspers about one woodbine
to every six Germans. The fact that

1578
03:12:35.559 --> 03:12:39.360
he had never met Pinkerton in his
life before they shared the same hymn book

1579
03:12:39.600 --> 03:12:46.920
at the YMCA Heartcake Festival only a
few hours back, was more of an

1580
03:12:46.040 --> 03:12:54.600
encouragement than a drawback. To the
imaginative dynamo of mister Bailey. The homer

1581
03:12:54.719 --> 03:13:01.760
expirit had descended upon him the song
of battles lead from his lips and through

1582
03:13:01.799 --> 03:13:11.000
it all his achilles. His hector
was Private Pinkerton. Midway through the third

1583
03:13:11.120 --> 03:13:16.399
narrative, of Pinkerton's single handed harrying
of the huns, and on the crest

1584
03:13:16.479 --> 03:13:24.200
of an improbability that even mister Bailey
admitted to himself was a trifle tool.

1585
03:13:24.079 --> 03:13:33.200
The next course grouse arrived. The
belligerent burglar bent over it for a moment

1586
03:13:33.559 --> 03:13:41.639
in an attitude of respectful, though
a little mistrustful consideration. This reminds me,

1587
03:13:41.079 --> 03:13:48.719
Lady Angelina, he said, taking
a deep breath of the trenches,

1588
03:13:48.000 --> 03:13:56.159
after our little scrap at Festubert.
I rather think this chicken has been dead

1589
03:13:56.239 --> 03:14:01.600
a pretty long time. Like no, I don't think I will. I

1590
03:14:01.760 --> 03:14:09.319
wonder now if they've got any sausage
and mashed I am afraid not, mister

1591
03:14:09.440 --> 03:14:16.440
Bailey, I've never heard of that
dish. Never Well, the nobility and

1592
03:14:16.600 --> 03:14:22.000
gentry are a rum lot. You
don't know what's good for your half your

1593
03:14:22.040 --> 03:14:30.319
time. Never heard a sausage and
mashed. It beats me if my old

1594
03:14:30.399 --> 03:14:35.559
pal, mister Harris, the sausage
King, heard that. Why he turned

1595
03:14:35.639 --> 03:14:41.280
in his grave, notwith standing the
weight of the marble monument holden him,

1596
03:14:41.360 --> 03:14:48.280
Dan, do try the growls,
mister Bailey, I'm sure you'll find it

1597
03:14:48.479 --> 03:14:54.360
excellent. Well, m'm ere goes
if you'll be kind enough to pass the

1598
03:14:54.479 --> 03:15:01.479
chloroider lime. And that reminds me, mum, you ever, He paused,

1599
03:15:01.760 --> 03:15:09.440
and looked inquiringly into the bright,
merry face of Lady Angelica. Have

1600
03:15:09.600 --> 03:15:16.559
I ever? What? Said his
companion encouragingly. Mister Bailey shook his head.

1601
03:15:18.799 --> 03:15:24.040
Nah, he said, I'd better
not. Perhaps it's hardly a question,

1602
03:15:24.879 --> 03:15:31.040
hardly a fair question. He turned
to the rector, deciding, after

1603
03:15:31.120 --> 03:15:37.719
a moment's consideration, to put the
problem to him. Have you ever,

1604
03:15:39.239 --> 03:15:45.639
Reverend sir? He said, all
in the same pair of trousers, dianny

1605
03:15:45.840 --> 03:15:52.360
on end for six weeks. The
clergyman sat up suddenly and coughed, m

1606
03:15:54.639 --> 03:16:01.559
good gracious, he cried an alarm, What an extraordinary question have I have

1607
03:16:01.760 --> 03:16:11.319
I? No, most decidedly not, sir, well, replied mister Bailey,

1608
03:16:11.879 --> 03:16:18.319
slowly and solemnly, Ie sir,
And until you ev you don't know

1609
03:16:18.440 --> 03:16:24.079
what life is, I'll give you
my early bird. And as for the

1610
03:16:24.200 --> 03:16:31.159
Germans, they well, I won't
say what I was a going to say

1611
03:16:31.600 --> 03:16:37.440
in case of wounding the suspectabilities of
present company, but I'll tell you this,

1612
03:16:37.840 --> 03:16:45.959
reverend sir, Yes, said the
rector, toying somewhat nervously with his

1613
03:16:46.120 --> 03:16:52.840
grouse. Yes, sir, for
niffiness, and it's gorspel truth, I'm

1614
03:16:52.920 --> 03:17:01.159
telling you for haroma, mortification and
pepperiments are road to colloge and rosewater compared

1615
03:17:01.280 --> 03:17:07.920
with their munds. Some of the
prisoners we nabbed, it was at loose

1616
03:17:07.200 --> 03:17:13.959
or there abats on, thinking some
of them fair ummed, and two of

1617
03:17:13.040 --> 03:17:20.239
them in particular, one what called
his self Fritz, and t'ther carl.

1618
03:17:20.559 --> 03:17:24.440
What are we going to do with
a blighter, sir, says the Sergeant

1619
03:17:24.559 --> 03:17:31.559
Major to our colonel, who was
a particular sort of man with rather a

1620
03:17:31.680 --> 03:17:37.680
weak stomach. Do you think,
says the colonel, nipping of his nostrils

1621
03:17:37.840 --> 03:17:43.440
with his thumb and forefinger, do
you think chugging them into the incinerator and

1622
03:17:43.719 --> 03:17:50.239
stoken up hard? It'd be any
good if you do, then carry on,

1623
03:17:50.639 --> 03:17:56.440
Sergeant Major. But the Sergeant Major, being an new main sort of

1624
03:17:56.479 --> 03:18:01.680
a bloke, and also being a
little bit that way himself, through circumstances

1625
03:18:01.879 --> 03:18:09.360
over which he had no control for, he'd try another way first. So

1626
03:18:09.559 --> 03:18:15.239
he took Fritz along and handed him
over to a couple of orderlies, telling

1627
03:18:15.319 --> 03:18:20.760
them to strip him to the buff
and buy him in the canteen copper and

1628
03:18:20.040 --> 03:18:26.680
give him what four with a scrubbing
brush and a bar a monkey brand with

1629
03:18:26.879 --> 03:18:33.799
an occasional solo on the curry comb. He'd been scrubbing and curry combing him

1630
03:18:33.959 --> 03:18:39.280
for about ten minutes when they come
to a gray flannel shirt. Dear me,

1631
03:18:41.520 --> 03:18:48.399
murmured the rector, very extraordinary.
With a little shudder, Lady Angelika

1632
03:18:48.680 --> 03:18:56.120
pushed away her plate and gazed dreamily
with unseeing eyes. That's the vaulted ceiling

1633
03:18:58.520 --> 03:19:03.239
earned the other gentleman, the one
you called Carl, mister Bailey, what's

1634
03:19:03.280 --> 03:19:11.360
happened to Carl? Though her appetite
languished, her curiosity was still a thirst

1635
03:19:13.000 --> 03:19:20.520
whole Mum, replied mister Bailey.
There happened to be a little discussion on

1636
03:19:20.799 --> 03:19:26.239
in the officer's mess as to which
nift that is smelt, Mum, as

1637
03:19:26.280 --> 03:19:33.239
to which smelt the worst, a
goat or a German. Quite a considerable

1638
03:19:33.399 --> 03:19:37.559
lot of quids was wagered on the
point, and as soon as all the

1639
03:19:37.680 --> 03:19:43.799
bets had been properly booked, they
brought the goat in first, and our

1640
03:19:43.959 --> 03:19:50.959
colonel, being what I've told you, fainted. Dear me, dear me,

1641
03:19:52.079 --> 03:20:01.120
said the rector, and then Lady
Angelica leaned forward, her face alive

1642
03:20:01.319 --> 03:20:07.840
with interest, and then replied,
mister Bailey. They brought in the other

1643
03:20:09.000 --> 03:20:16.000
German in what called hisself Carl,
and a goat faint ed. After dinner

1644
03:20:16.319 --> 03:20:22.360
there was the usual happy, go
lucky, go as you please, revelrie,

1645
03:20:22.920 --> 03:20:28.920
very sleepy and as contented as a
man eating tiger. After a full

1646
03:20:28.040 --> 03:20:35.239
meal, mister Bailey was decoyed into
the drawing room, where he sat enthroned

1647
03:20:35.600 --> 03:20:43.479
amid soft curtains like a plump and
langorous pasha. Lady Angelica sang and sang

1648
03:20:43.760 --> 03:20:50.319
very sweetly, oh that we two
were maying, And she sang it direct

1649
03:20:50.520 --> 03:20:56.559
at mister Bailey, who, in
spite of himself and dimly conscious of the

1650
03:20:56.680 --> 03:21:05.000
compliment, nodded, nodded, and
presently slept in spite of the novel surroundings

1651
03:21:05.319 --> 03:21:11.159
and the soft harmony which breathed over
and around him like a benediction. The

1652
03:21:11.399 --> 03:21:18.959
sad, melodious voice went on,
Oh, that we two were lying under

1653
03:21:20.239 --> 03:21:28.159
the churchyard's sod. Then mister Bailey
awoke with a start. No, no,

1654
03:21:28.239 --> 03:21:35.479
he said, debts off and rising
with some difficulty from his bed of

1655
03:21:35.639 --> 03:21:41.360
roses, he made his way to
the card room, where auction bridge was

1656
03:21:41.479 --> 03:21:48.879
the order of the night. He
was inveigel to take a hand made an

1657
03:21:48.120 --> 03:21:56.639
inglorious hashavet, and declaring that Uncle
Sam was the only card game worth two

1658
03:21:56.799 --> 03:22:01.879
rows of pin, undertook to in
stroke the whole company in the mysteries and

1659
03:22:03.040 --> 03:22:09.959
the ramifications of it, Uncle Sam, as anybody who has ventured it knows,

1660
03:22:09.799 --> 03:22:16.799
is about twice as exciting and half
as dangerous as bomb throwing and bayonet

1661
03:22:16.959 --> 03:22:24.120
chargers. It's as easy as kiss
rand gentlemen, he declared, and they

1662
03:22:24.159 --> 03:22:31.239
all came in riotously, with the
result that within half an hour mister Bailey

1663
03:22:31.799 --> 03:22:39.920
on Capitol, borrowed from Pinkerton himself
a victim, had won fifty pounds and

1664
03:22:39.159 --> 03:22:46.479
held an iou of the rectors for
three pounds, seventeen shillings and sixpence.

1665
03:22:46.799 --> 03:22:54.760
His smile as he pocketed the spoils
was a pitcher. It was the friendly

1666
03:22:54.879 --> 03:23:00.680
butler who, at the witching hour
carried mister Bailey upstairs as to bed,

1667
03:23:01.479 --> 03:23:09.319
and there in the haunted room of
Thornycroft he slept a dreamless and untroubled sleep

1668
03:23:09.799 --> 03:23:16.680
until high noon. The gibbering wraith
of Colonel Pinkerton, that valiant old roundhead

1669
03:23:18.000 --> 03:23:22.920
who went gallantly to his death for
the cause, troubled him, not though

1670
03:23:22.959 --> 03:23:31.120
he came out as in duty bound
from behind the wainskirt groaned six times in

1671
03:23:31.200 --> 03:23:37.360
accordance with the tradition of the ghostly
legend, and clashed his bloodstained jives over

1672
03:23:37.440 --> 03:23:45.520
the unconscious head of the slumbering cracksman. Even had he awakened to the spectral

1673
03:23:45.680 --> 03:23:52.040
summons, mister Bailey Wood no doubt
have been equal to the occasion. But

1674
03:23:52.200 --> 03:24:01.399
he slept as a babe sleeps,
dreamless and undisturbed. This day was sacred

1675
03:24:01.559 --> 03:24:07.920
to a great pheasant drive amid the
rich coverts of Thorny. But mister Bailey,

1676
03:24:07.399 --> 03:24:13.959
being no hand at a shotgun,
found an excuse for wandering off on

1677
03:24:13.200 --> 03:24:18.840
his own. There were only a
few hours left. He explained that he

1678
03:24:20.000 --> 03:24:26.040
wanted to be by himself and to
meditate a bit, so he was allowed

1679
03:24:26.200 --> 03:24:31.479
to go his own sweet way.
Which way did you say, mate,

1680
03:24:31.280 --> 03:24:37.840
asked the Uncle Sam champion of the
friendly Butler. Down the park road for

1681
03:24:39.000 --> 03:24:43.000
half a mile, sir, and
then the first to the left, that's

1682
03:24:43.120 --> 03:24:50.959
the Thorny Arms. You can't possibly
miss the sign and you're sure there's honest

1683
03:24:50.040 --> 03:24:56.520
liquor there, Nanny, your bubbly
farlas all splutter and splash, and no

1684
03:24:56.840 --> 03:25:03.520
body teller a man's drink the best
four ale, sir in the whole of

1685
03:25:03.639 --> 03:25:09.079
Norfolk. Then fixed barnets and lead
me to it, said mister Bailey,

1686
03:25:09.559 --> 03:25:16.040
squaring his shoulders and licking his lips. An here, thank you for your

1687
03:25:16.159 --> 03:25:22.360
kindness and a clobber you swaddled me
in. If you'll oblige me by accepting

1688
03:25:22.520 --> 03:25:30.200
this, And with the air of
a monarch conferring an earldom upon an undertaker,

1689
03:25:30.920 --> 03:25:35.879
mister Bailey softly pressed into the reluctant
palm of the butler. The rectors,

1690
03:25:37.120 --> 03:25:45.799
I owe you for three pounds,
seventeen shillings and sixpence. That concludes

1691
03:25:46.159 --> 03:25:54.719
chapter thirteen of Private Pinkerton Millionaire.
The section continues with chapter fourteen, The

1692
03:25:54.959 --> 03:26:03.360
Merry Manglers Club. It was a
wonderful night of stars. On his way

1693
03:26:03.479 --> 03:26:09.719
to the thorny Arms, mister Bailey
gazed up at them romantically with a professional

1694
03:26:09.920 --> 03:26:16.840
glint in his eye. What a
crib to crack, he murmured, to

1695
03:26:16.040 --> 03:26:24.079
himself, All them twinkland di'monds,
And I suppose there's burglars as well as

1696
03:26:24.239 --> 03:26:33.639
harp twangers among the cherubims and seraphims
and things and everything in the shop.

1697
03:26:33.719 --> 03:26:41.000
Winder simply ask and for. But
his thoughts did not wander long among the

1698
03:26:41.200 --> 03:26:48.639
stars. He was soon within eyeshot
of his destination, as snug and heartening

1699
03:26:48.719 --> 03:26:54.399
a tavern as the most ardent wassailor
could wish for. The windows, with

1700
03:26:54.600 --> 03:27:01.520
their red blinds, sent out a
ruddy glow over the rustic porch. Hung

1701
03:27:01.600 --> 03:27:09.280
a banner with the word welcome in
scarlet letters on a white ground. There

1702
03:27:09.440 --> 03:27:16.399
was a jolly atmosphere about the place
of home brewed ale. The very air

1703
03:27:16.639 --> 03:27:22.760
tasted of it, and mister Bailey
smacked his lips as he raised the latch

1704
03:27:22.120 --> 03:27:31.600
and entered. Let me see,
muse the blissful burglar, who had by

1705
03:27:31.680 --> 03:27:37.360
this time worked up a thirst that
he wouldn't have parted with for much fine

1706
03:27:37.520 --> 03:27:43.959
gold. Is it? Is it
a pub I observed before my wandering eyes?

1707
03:27:43.920 --> 03:27:50.840
Or shall I wake up presently in
the same old bedroom of corpsuses and

1708
03:27:50.120 --> 03:27:58.079
chloride a lime. It's too good
to be true, William mi lad not

1709
03:27:58.280 --> 03:28:05.159
a public some much as a quart
pot of paradise with the froth on I

1710
03:28:05.120 --> 03:28:13.479
landlord. He was in the passage
now hung with its quaint old sporting prints

1711
03:28:13.159 --> 03:28:24.440
aromatic of fat, bulging casks and
whispering cobwebs and crusted port A landlord come,

1712
03:28:24.479 --> 03:28:30.719
and sir coming. And here was
the Landlord, just as he ought

1713
03:28:30.760 --> 03:28:35.559
to have been, a plump,
jovial personage, with a ruddy face like

1714
03:28:37.000 --> 03:28:41.440
ripe apples, a merry eye,
and a voice as rich as the contents

1715
03:28:41.600 --> 03:28:50.000
of his own barrels and beakers.
Four pennyworth of the foemen, cried mister

1716
03:28:50.120 --> 03:28:56.520
Bailey, gaily rattling the silver he
had won from the rector. Can't be

1717
03:28:56.639 --> 03:29:01.559
done, sir, responded the Landlord
Wood. As jolly and as cheerful as

1718
03:29:01.639 --> 03:29:11.639
you please, What cried the disappointed
visitor, and his face fell not for

1719
03:29:11.840 --> 03:29:20.520
four hundred and ninety nine four monces, replied Boniface with a chuckle. Button

1720
03:29:20.639 --> 03:29:24.479
up your pocket, sir, and
walk in as flow and freed to night,

1721
03:29:26.200 --> 03:29:31.760
and you're just in time for the
toast of the evening. March straight

1722
03:29:31.879 --> 03:29:35.319
into the holy of Holy sir,
and we shall be pleased to make you

1723
03:29:35.920 --> 03:29:43.920
an honorary member of the Merry Manglers
in celebration of this hair bright day,

1724
03:29:43.399 --> 03:29:50.799
which sees the boss God bless him
safe and sound home again with not so

1725
03:29:50.040 --> 03:29:56.920
much as a front tooth. Missien, Why bless my heart and soul?

1726
03:29:58.239 --> 03:30:03.360
He noticed for the first time the
glitter of mister Bailey's borrowed evening clothes.

1727
03:30:05.719 --> 03:30:09.799
Less my heart and soul, and
Stockin's. If you baint one of the

1728
03:30:09.959 --> 03:30:15.399
gentry from the great House, then, if I may be so bold as

1729
03:30:15.479 --> 03:30:22.200
to say it, all the more
welcome to this humble inn. Mister Bailey

1730
03:30:22.479 --> 03:30:30.520
bowed with splendid ceremony. He entered, No, he didn't exactly enter.

1731
03:30:31.200 --> 03:30:35.360
He was solemnly ushered into the club
room, where, through a blue and

1732
03:30:35.559 --> 03:30:43.120
shimmering haze of tobacco smoke, real
pipe shag of the right sort, he

1733
03:30:43.360 --> 03:30:48.319
observed before him, in all their
glory, the nuts of the Pinkerton estate,

1734
03:30:50.879 --> 03:30:54.840
the chairman, with the face of
a ripe tomato, and the paunch

1735
03:30:54.959 --> 03:31:01.200
of false staff himself was in the
midst of a speed each And so I

1736
03:31:01.479 --> 03:31:09.280
say, gentlemen and brothers, all
that this here society, the ryle and

1737
03:31:09.559 --> 03:31:18.120
antidiluvian order of mangold Wuzzlers, known
for short as the merry Manglers. I

1738
03:31:18.559 --> 03:31:24.120
say gentlemen and brothers, all that, if this here Kaza only knowed what

1739
03:31:24.360 --> 03:31:31.479
we was up to this night,
his marrored freeze, in his miserable bloomin

1740
03:31:31.760 --> 03:31:37.920
carcass and heaven said that, And
accustomed as I am to public speaking,

1741
03:31:39.840 --> 03:31:45.600
that's all I'm a gone to say, except to propose the toast of the

1742
03:31:45.799 --> 03:31:54.680
evening, which is dar nation to
the Kazer. The toast, the first

1743
03:31:54.840 --> 03:32:00.120
part of it, was drunk in
solemn silence. No heel taps, but

1744
03:32:00.399 --> 03:32:07.520
full foaming goblets from the rim to
the dregs. Then again the Chairman rose,

1745
03:32:07.280 --> 03:32:16.680
vast and impressive, gentlemen all and
brother manglers, said he fill up

1746
03:32:16.760 --> 03:32:24.040
your glasses once more. The injunction
was obeyed. All charged, gentlemen and

1747
03:32:24.319 --> 03:32:33.760
brothers all charged, mister Chairman,
and our extinguished visitor is he all charged?

1748
03:32:35.040 --> 03:32:41.959
Roy up to the bloomin' muzzle,
said mister Bailey. You bet I'm

1749
03:32:41.000 --> 03:32:48.559
in this, being an interested party, so to speak. Then said the

1750
03:32:48.719 --> 03:32:56.120
Chairman, raise your glasses. Manglers, all raise your glasses. The merry

1751
03:32:56.200 --> 03:33:05.920
manglers one and all raise their glasses. Cyan army, and may old Nick

1752
03:33:05.159 --> 03:33:13.079
fly off with him, to which
the merry manglers chorused, and may old

1753
03:33:13.319 --> 03:33:20.479
Nick fly off with him to the
bottomless pit, to the bottomless pit,

1754
03:33:20.840 --> 03:33:31.399
and there may he everlasting leaf frizzle, and there may he everlastingly frizzle body,

1755
03:33:31.719 --> 03:33:39.200
soul and breeches, to which the
merry manglers chorused for tissimo, body,

1756
03:33:39.639 --> 03:33:48.280
soul and breeches. It was a
solemn, awful moment. In the

1757
03:33:48.399 --> 03:33:54.799
whirl of that tremendous curse. The
tobacco smoke floating across the room took on

1758
03:33:54.000 --> 03:34:01.319
a more spectral hue. The tomato
tints on the chairman's face flamed with a

1759
03:34:01.479 --> 03:34:07.440
redoubled menace, and it only needed
a crash of thunder from the heavens above

1760
03:34:07.559 --> 03:34:16.280
them to crown the shattering malediction.
But the cloudless sky smiled on in its

1761
03:34:16.399 --> 03:34:22.959
midnight dress of spangled diamonds. Besides, it was the wrong end of the

1762
03:34:22.079 --> 03:34:30.280
calendar for thunderstorms, so the curse
was punctuated by the ever ready mister Bailey.

1763
03:34:31.520 --> 03:34:37.120
Amen said he and smashed his glass
as a signal for all the other

1764
03:34:37.319 --> 03:34:45.479
merry manglers to do likewise, which
they did, much to the consternation of

1765
03:34:45.559 --> 03:34:52.719
the landlord. Here, I say, gents, he began But when mister

1766
03:34:52.879 --> 03:34:56.799
Bailey assured him that it was all
for the good of his king and country,

1767
03:34:58.440 --> 03:35:03.600
and a necessary eye in the damnation
of the Kaiser and all his works,

1768
03:35:03.440 --> 03:35:11.520
he saw the point and condone the
sacrifice of his crockery. Of course,

1769
03:35:11.920 --> 03:35:16.600
it became necessary for mister Bailey to
make a speech. It was the

1770
03:35:16.760 --> 03:35:22.440
only speech he ever made in his
life, apart from that short, sharp

1771
03:35:22.600 --> 03:35:30.120
spasm of oratory, when in the
dear dead days beyond recall he had to

1772
03:35:30.280 --> 03:35:35.799
respond on more than one occasion to
the toast of mister Justice somebody or other

1773
03:35:37.799 --> 03:35:43.879
not guilty, my lord, I
am sorry not to be able to reproduce

1774
03:35:43.200 --> 03:35:52.559
verbatim our heroes wingered words. True
they or the substance of them appeared later

1775
03:35:52.719 --> 03:36:00.879
on in the sedate pages of the
Thorny Parish Magazine, so carefully edited by

1776
03:36:00.920 --> 03:36:07.040
the rector that they read more like
a quotation from Jeremy Taylor's Holy Living and

1777
03:36:07.319 --> 03:36:16.680
Dying than the real unbridled Bill Bailey
staff those speech making was alien to him

1778
03:36:16.760 --> 03:36:24.040
at ordinary times, and his tongue
to use his own immortal phrase was and

1779
03:36:24.399 --> 03:36:30.200
cuffed to the roof of his math. The spirit of the occasion urged to

1780
03:36:30.360 --> 03:36:35.280
eloquence by the heart and in qualities
of the old ale of the Thorny Arms

1781
03:36:35.159 --> 03:36:41.719
get hold upon him. His tongue
was unloosed, and he let himself go.

1782
03:36:43.520 --> 03:36:48.319
What was it? He asked?
He saw around him? Who were

1783
03:36:48.399 --> 03:36:52.319
they? Living on the fat and
the foam of the land, getting up

1784
03:36:52.440 --> 03:36:56.760
on their hind legs once a week, so, he was assured by his

1785
03:36:56.959 --> 03:37:03.959
friend and hosts, the landlord would
foeman at the mouth like members of Parliament

1786
03:37:03.840 --> 03:37:11.639
fighting the battles of Flanders and Waterloo
and Hastings, to say nothing of Gallipoli

1787
03:37:11.879 --> 03:37:18.000
and the dardy bloom and owls in
the comfortable, fur lined saddleback trenchers of

1788
03:37:18.159 --> 03:37:26.959
the Thorny Arms. Who here here, said mister Gilled, rather faintly,

1789
03:37:26.760 --> 03:37:33.280
feeling that somebody ought to say something. I should like to know who it

1790
03:37:33.559 --> 03:37:41.520
is, what says them? Words
wrapped out? Mister Bailey, kindly stand

1791
03:37:41.680 --> 03:37:46.399
up and let's have a look at
him. Mister Gilled kindly stood up,

1792
03:37:46.959 --> 03:37:54.760
blushing through the haze, h muttered
the burglar, glaring at him, just

1793
03:37:56.079 --> 03:38:01.879
as I fought, youngish man fit
an eye, good shoulders, beefy in

1794
03:38:01.959 --> 03:38:09.479
the bosom, unmarried. Yeah,
yes, sir, stammered mister Gilad blushing

1795
03:38:11.760 --> 03:38:16.200
unmarried for the present, sir,
but living in oaps, Sir, then

1796
03:38:16.399 --> 03:38:22.280
wid a blazers. Aren't you out
there fighting the explet if Kaser in the

1797
03:38:22.440 --> 03:38:28.280
trenches instead of cussing him in the
bar parlor of a parishi and pub.

1798
03:38:30.440 --> 03:38:37.559
Answer me that, mister whatever your
bloomin name is what me said, mister

1799
03:38:37.719 --> 03:38:43.440
Gild in a tone of lively alarm
me, boy, sir, They couldn't

1800
03:38:43.520 --> 03:38:48.799
spare me on the parish sexton,
sir. And if I was to go,

1801
03:38:50.600 --> 03:38:54.680
who'd there be to dig the graves? To say Nathan of winding up

1802
03:38:54.719 --> 03:39:01.280
the church clock once a week,
which takes a mortal lot of nan sexton

1803
03:39:01.879 --> 03:39:09.920
grave digger? Why bless my soul, cried mister Bailey, you're the very

1804
03:39:09.040 --> 03:39:15.760
man we want at there? Why
only the other day? General French,

1805
03:39:16.399 --> 03:39:20.760
he says to me, Mister Bailey, he says, if I could only

1806
03:39:20.920 --> 03:39:26.559
get out one or two of them
sextons what live in Norfolk, to come

1807
03:39:26.639 --> 03:39:31.159
along here and give the boys a
lead in trench diggan, he says,

1808
03:39:31.000 --> 03:39:37.000
we should get them Germans bottled up
in next to no time. I'll give

1809
03:39:37.079 --> 03:39:43.600
you my early bird. You don't
happen to know, he says a chap

1810
03:39:43.879 --> 03:39:50.440
named here mister Bailey whispered a quick
question into the ear of the landlord,

1811
03:39:50.040 --> 03:39:58.280
and received an equally quick reply named
giled. He says, Thus did the

1812
03:39:58.399 --> 03:40:05.440
wily mister Bailey, by sprinkling salt
judiciously upon the tale of mister Gilad,

1813
03:40:05.040 --> 03:40:11.079
make a man and a soldier of
him in next to no time, And

1814
03:40:11.360 --> 03:40:16.959
thus did he rope in half a
dozen other stalwart members of the Merry Manglers

1815
03:40:16.079 --> 03:40:22.200
Club. Before the landlord, in
mortal fear of losing most of his profitable

1816
03:40:22.360 --> 03:40:31.120
customers, nipped mister Bailey smart plot
in the bud time. Gentlemen, he

1817
03:40:31.360 --> 03:40:41.520
called time you go every mother's son
of you. That concludes chapter fourteen of

1818
03:40:41.799 --> 03:40:56.520
Private Pinkerton Millionaire and is also the
end of section seven Section eight of Private

1819
03:40:56.639 --> 03:41:03.840
Pinkerton Millionaire by Harold Ashton. This
LibriVox recording is in the public domain.

1820
03:41:05.079 --> 03:41:16.239
Chapters fifteen and sixteen. Chapter fifteen, Romeo and Juliet out Merry Manglers one

1821
03:41:16.280 --> 03:41:22.000
and all, cried the Landlord of
the Thorny Arms, or I shall lose

1822
03:41:22.120 --> 03:41:28.000
my license, and you'll lose one
of the few things that are worth living

1823
03:41:28.120 --> 03:41:37.079
for. Out and home the country
paths they close at ten So home,

1824
03:41:37.360 --> 03:41:46.200
ye go Tripenhilln's so home, ye
go My Mary merry man with a folder

1825
03:41:46.680 --> 03:42:00.520
road little and a folder old to
wake up risk in the marn so home.

1826
03:42:00.600 --> 03:42:05.440
They all stared singing the old lilt, and they needed some staring,

1827
03:42:05.799 --> 03:42:13.959
most of them, as mister Bailey
remarked, watching them wending or we wonder,

1828
03:42:13.840 --> 03:42:20.079
said mister Bailey to himself, if
that there hefty young grave digger will

1829
03:42:20.239 --> 03:42:28.040
wake up brisk in the mornin with
a roller roll fiddle and a napper on

1830
03:42:28.200 --> 03:42:33.120
him, clear enough to remember his
solemn sworn oath to me and his king

1831
03:42:33.360 --> 03:42:39.799
and his country. Oi wonder,
Oh, I guess I'd better call round

1832
03:42:39.879 --> 03:42:45.840
at the cemetery early to morrow and
just give him the office. Let me

1833
03:42:46.120 --> 03:42:52.440
see now, He paused and planted
his feet firmer upon Mother Earth, who,

1834
03:42:54.120 --> 03:42:58.680
though sleeping, seemed to our mellow
hero to be breathing rather harder than

1835
03:42:58.760 --> 03:43:05.239
you usual from the heave of her
gentle breast. Steady, now, steady,

1836
03:43:05.319 --> 03:43:11.399
old lady. That's only me,
Now, which way was it?

1837
03:43:11.520 --> 03:43:16.959
I started out on this route March
with a folder roll diddle and a folder

1838
03:43:16.079 --> 03:43:22.000
roll doe. Huh got it this
time, William, my lad, So

1839
03:43:22.639 --> 03:43:28.440
you're not so ild as you thought
you was. Now. When I started,

1840
03:43:28.840 --> 03:43:35.200
the wind was blowing in my left
ear roll. Therefore, if I

1841
03:43:35.399 --> 03:43:41.360
remember any of my skeleton drill,
it should be blowing in my right waggler

1842
03:43:41.479 --> 03:43:50.319
now. And so wof me home
with a folder roll diddle ryo. He

1843
03:43:50.520 --> 03:43:56.840
swung round and bent his grizzled head. The night wind whispered softly according to

1844
03:43:58.040 --> 03:44:03.079
his reck name, good old Tempest, said the burglar warrior, in a

1845
03:44:03.239 --> 03:44:11.360
conciliatory tone. That's right, keep
her up and blow me on a mother.

1846
03:44:11.479 --> 03:44:18.799
Between us, windy old cock,
we'll strike our billets presently. And

1847
03:44:18.120 --> 03:44:24.840
so through the calm, sweet night, with the solicitous zephyrs of heaven wafting

1848
03:44:24.959 --> 03:44:31.680
this ruddleless bark to the RESTful haven
of Thorny Hall, mister Bailey, bearing

1849
03:44:31.799 --> 03:44:39.200
a charmed life passed on. The
fairies were out in the moonshine dancing around

1850
03:44:39.360 --> 03:44:46.159
him. He heard them singing.
He swore he did home, Ye go,

1851
03:44:48.040 --> 03:44:54.360
my mary, mister Bailey, with
a folder old diddle and a folder

1852
03:44:54.760 --> 03:45:03.000
roll dome. Whether it was the
singing of the fairies or the magic of

1853
03:45:03.079 --> 03:45:09.399
the moonshine, or the ripe,
rich aisle of the thorny arms, or

1854
03:45:09.520 --> 03:45:16.000
a goblin mixture of them all,
which was most likely. Mister Bailey confessed

1855
03:45:16.079 --> 03:45:22.079
to being smitten with a passionate throb
of romance. As he hove to and

1856
03:45:22.360 --> 03:45:28.639
came to anchor on the lawn of
dear old pinkies ancestral dwelling, he discovered

1857
03:45:28.719 --> 03:45:33.879
then, and not a moment before, that, he was carrying in his

1858
03:45:35.120 --> 03:45:41.520
right hand a fairy Wand whence had
this magic wand come? How had it

1859
03:45:41.760 --> 03:45:50.520
materialized? Had he William Bailey,
a person with a besmirched and burglarious past,

1860
03:45:52.399 --> 03:45:56.879
had he, under the wizard spell
of this wonderful English night, been

1861
03:45:58.000 --> 03:46:05.799
metamorphosized into a fairy or? Said
he to himself wistfully, Am I more

1862
03:46:05.920 --> 03:46:13.399
tiddley than I thought I was?
There was no answer from the unfolding night.

1863
03:46:13.559 --> 03:46:18.639
He looked up into high heaven.
He saw the bright stars, a

1864
03:46:18.840 --> 03:46:24.600
shine and wonderful. He saw the
round, full orb of the placid moon.

1865
03:46:26.639 --> 03:46:31.760
And as he looked upon her face, she deliberately winked at him,

1866
03:46:31.479 --> 03:46:37.719
winked and shook her head. By
the light of her countenance, he held

1867
03:46:37.920 --> 03:46:46.000
up and examined more closely the fairy
wand, and then he discovered that what

1868
03:46:46.399 --> 03:46:52.479
he really held in his hand was
the poker from the fireplace of the thorny

1869
03:46:52.680 --> 03:46:58.440
Arms. Now in the world did
I come by you? Said he?

1870
03:46:58.760 --> 03:47:07.639
The poker refused to reply. Not
even an echo answered. The lights in

1871
03:47:07.799 --> 03:47:13.000
all the lower windows of the hall
were out. The great oaken door was

1872
03:47:13.159 --> 03:47:20.159
barred and bolted from the inside.
Mister Bailey shook it and barked his knuckles

1873
03:47:20.280 --> 03:47:26.239
on the oak, but there was
no response. He looked dubiously at the

1874
03:47:26.399 --> 03:47:31.520
fairy wand, spat in his horny
palm to get a firmer grip of it,

1875
03:47:33.280 --> 03:47:39.000
and raised it to the assault.
But he realized that a small poker

1876
03:47:39.559 --> 03:47:46.319
would have no earthly effect upon six
inches of solid thorny oak. Besides,

1877
03:47:46.879 --> 03:47:50.840
there was a little matter of etiquette
to be considered, and mister Bailey,

1878
03:47:52.520 --> 03:47:58.120
still in his evening dress, felt
that he was bound to obey the dictates

1879
03:47:58.200 --> 03:48:05.559
of hospitality. As an ornament of
society he was certainly getting on. So

1880
03:48:05.799 --> 03:48:11.719
he stayed his hand, lowered his
fairy wand, and stepped back once again

1881
03:48:11.920 --> 03:48:18.920
to the moonlit's lawn. The spirit
of romance was still in possession of his

1882
03:48:18.120 --> 03:48:26.799
soul, and faintly remembering the harmonious
legend of Blondin and King Richard, he

1883
03:48:26.000 --> 03:48:33.600
thought he'd try the effect of a
slight serenade upon the slumbering mansion. The

1884
03:48:33.760 --> 03:48:41.680
difficulty was what to sing. He
tried to recall the Heartcake hymn, which

1885
03:48:41.719 --> 03:48:46.680
had moved his soul to sentiment at
the first occasion of his meeting with Pinkie,

1886
03:48:48.520 --> 03:48:52.319
but it wouldn't come. Somehow,
Then he tried to get into the

1887
03:48:52.479 --> 03:49:00.159
swing of the folder old doll of
the merry Manglers, but no, the

1888
03:49:00.319 --> 03:49:07.520
muse was obdurate. At last,
he bethought him of his own name and

1889
03:49:07.680 --> 03:49:13.879
the fitness of it for a harmonious
setting. So, with the fairy wand

1890
03:49:13.079 --> 03:49:20.840
held at a banjo angle, he
cleared his heroic throat, and, striking

1891
03:49:20.959 --> 03:49:28.120
an imaginary cord upon the poker,
sang softly the opening bars of that ancient

1892
03:49:28.639 --> 03:49:39.920
haunting ditty, Won't Yeah carmeome Bell
Bailey, won't yea came? There was

1893
03:49:39.000 --> 03:49:46.239
a creeper clad balcony overhead, and
a window behind it. Discreetly veiled to

1894
03:49:46.440 --> 03:49:54.120
that balcony, to that window instinct, the instinct of the tiger for its

1895
03:49:54.239 --> 03:50:01.000
mate. The trumpeting elephant for his
Connamorata, bade him a dress his lay.

1896
03:50:01.360 --> 03:50:07.239
He sang and sang. As his
melodious voice swelled in the moonlight.

1897
03:50:07.920 --> 03:50:15.879
He saw the curtain flutter, the
window slowly open. Dan Littla flutterer,

1898
03:50:16.280 --> 03:50:22.440
Dan, said mister Bailey to his
expectant heart. Softly and more soft he

1899
03:50:22.719 --> 03:50:31.040
sang, won't you come home,
Bell, Bailey, won't you come home?

1900
03:50:33.520 --> 03:50:43.159
I've waited the old nigh long,
wider, still wider. The window

1901
03:50:43.319 --> 03:50:50.760
opened. Then, in the bright
beams of the wondering moon, the figure

1902
03:50:50.840 --> 03:50:58.959
of a lady appeared on the balcony, Juliet Ah Romeo, steady, my

1903
03:50:58.200 --> 03:51:05.479
lad still the form of this fair
vision of the night was clad in a

1904
03:51:05.639 --> 03:51:11.360
clinging dressing gown of black and gold. Her jet hair tumbled in a cloud

1905
03:51:11.600 --> 03:51:20.079
over her shoulders, failing the midnight
witchery of her eyes. Mister Bailey paused,

1906
03:51:20.719 --> 03:51:28.120
entranced in his rondel as a sweet
voice from the balcony thrilled and trembled

1907
03:51:28.280 --> 03:51:35.520
in his listening air. What is
it, niggers, Oh, how delightful

1908
03:51:37.879 --> 03:51:43.280
it was the voice of Lady Angelica. That blissful vision in black and gold

1909
03:51:43.639 --> 03:51:50.280
was her form, hers She had
seen the white shirt front of her hero

1910
03:51:50.639 --> 03:51:58.639
of ten million fights, shining in
the moonlight and still half under the mystic

1911
03:51:58.840 --> 03:52:05.879
sway of the Us of Sleep.
Had mistaken it quite naturally for something in

1912
03:52:05.959 --> 03:52:13.639
the Moor and Burgess line niggers,
Nah, replied the minstrel of the night.

1913
03:52:15.079 --> 03:52:20.239
Naw ma'm that's only me, mister
Bailey, at your service, Lady

1914
03:52:20.360 --> 03:52:26.479
Angelina, with the key of the
strait. There followed a little sound.

1915
03:52:28.280 --> 03:52:33.479
It might have been laughter, And
Lady Angelica replied as she leaned over the

1916
03:52:33.600 --> 03:52:43.159
balcony, Ah, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Oh we

1917
03:52:43.319 --> 03:52:48.639
ain't, said mister Bailey, who
was feeling a little chilled in the region

1918
03:52:48.760 --> 03:52:54.200
of his marrow now that the warming
effects of the thorny isil had worn off.

1919
03:52:54.399 --> 03:53:00.600
Don't you know me? He waved
the poker gracefully over his head.

1920
03:53:01.840 --> 03:53:09.760
Call me, Juliet, responded,
Lady Angelica, call me. Then something

1921
03:53:09.920 --> 03:53:16.479
happened behind her, which caused her
suddenly to vanish. The window closed with

1922
03:53:16.600 --> 03:53:22.639
a click, The curtain was drawn
again, and Romeo was left all alone

1923
03:53:22.719 --> 03:53:30.120
again on the glistening lawn. What
might have happened had But we will draw

1924
03:53:30.200 --> 03:53:37.840
a veil over that just as Lady
Angelica drew the curtain discreetly across her bedroom

1925
03:53:37.920 --> 03:53:45.600
window, mister Bailey shivered and made
a few remarks which can better be imagined

1926
03:53:45.840 --> 03:53:52.040
than described in cold print. Then
he spat once more. Upon his strong

1927
03:53:52.319 --> 03:53:58.120
right hand gripped the poker with redoubled
energy, swung it like a battle axe

1928
03:54:00.079 --> 03:54:07.280
surround his head, and his old
professional instincts thoroughly aroused. Alas crept with

1929
03:54:07.440 --> 03:54:13.680
the tread of a malefactor to the
drawing room window. Sorry, pinky old

1930
03:54:13.760 --> 03:54:18.600
cock, he muttered, but it's
got to be done, and done it

1931
03:54:20.000 --> 03:54:24.760
was in next to no time.
As a soldier, mister Bailey might be

1932
03:54:24.959 --> 03:54:31.520
a modern Ajax. As a burglar, with that fairy wand for a lever,

1933
03:54:31.319 --> 03:54:37.559
he was still Archimedes. There was
a soft crash, and he was

1934
03:54:37.639 --> 03:54:45.799
inside, moving like a ghost amid
the ghostly furniture, barking his shins painfully

1935
03:54:46.200 --> 03:54:50.600
in his erratic journey across a room
which seemed to him to contain all the

1936
03:54:50.760 --> 03:54:56.559
drawing room chairs in Norfolk. Then, just as he was getting clear,

1937
03:54:58.360 --> 03:55:03.520
another ghost suddenly he rose up before
him, and with a yell, dashed

1938
03:55:03.559 --> 03:55:09.559
at him. The fight which followed
in the dark was the greatest battle mister

1939
03:55:09.719 --> 03:55:16.360
Bailey had ever been in. Nerves
chappelle, vesta, bur and loose were

1940
03:55:16.520 --> 03:55:24.520
no more than sparring matches compared to
this. His unknown assailant fought like a

1941
03:55:24.680 --> 03:55:28.399
fiend. The chairs, and the
tables, and the sofa, even the

1942
03:55:28.520 --> 03:55:35.559
grand piano, which mister Bailey recognized
after banging his head against it twice,

1943
03:55:35.360 --> 03:55:43.280
got up on their hind legs and
joined in with tremendous gusto. Crash,

1944
03:55:43.040 --> 03:55:50.760
bang, crash, up and down
again, down and up again. At

1945
03:55:50.920 --> 03:55:56.440
length, in a wild, erratic
swing, mister Bailey got one in a

1946
03:55:56.639 --> 03:56:03.239
beauty on the other ghost Joe war
with such a smash that he thought he

1947
03:56:03.440 --> 03:56:11.200
saw in the enfolding gloom the sparks
fly. Then they closed again, swayed

1948
03:56:11.280 --> 03:56:18.120
together, tottered, and finally fell
in the clamorous eclipse of a priceless ming

1949
03:56:18.559 --> 03:56:24.120
vase. The door was flung open
to disclose the whole of the house party,

1950
03:56:24.760 --> 03:56:30.959
who had been roused from their slumbers
by the noise. Armed with pokers,

1951
03:56:31.360 --> 03:56:35.600
tongs, coal, scuttle shovels,
umbrellas, battle axes, spears,

1952
03:56:35.920 --> 03:56:41.159
bludgeons from the armory, and anything
else they could lay their hands to in

1953
03:56:41.280 --> 03:56:48.239
the hurried rush of the alarm.
Their attire was scanty, but their attitude

1954
03:56:48.520 --> 03:56:56.440
was murderously fierce, until in the
gleam of the candles and lamps they carried

1955
03:56:56.120 --> 03:57:03.760
they distinguished the cause of all this
kandish disturbance. Sitting opposite one another on

1956
03:57:03.879 --> 03:57:11.120
the drawing room floor, amid wreckage
of furniture and glass and grand pianos indescribable

1957
03:57:11.920 --> 03:57:20.399
were the two ghosts who had raised
this topet, Mister William Bailey and Private

1958
03:57:20.520 --> 03:57:26.600
Pinkerton. I thought, said Pinky
faintly, as they carried him out,

1959
03:57:28.639 --> 03:57:37.360
I thought I heard burglars. That
concludes Chapter fifteen of Private Pinkerton Millionaire.

1960
03:57:39.319 --> 03:57:48.040
The section continues with chapter sixteen.
Back to the filter, one last crowded

1961
03:57:48.079 --> 03:57:54.360
hour of glorious life, and then
back to the army again. Sergeant,

1962
03:57:56.000 --> 03:58:01.360
back to the army again. We
have a terror lot to do to day,

1963
03:58:01.600 --> 03:58:05.879
Pinky, mi lad, said mister
Bailey, as together are heroes.

1964
03:58:07.280 --> 03:58:13.840
After last night's homeric battle in the
drawing room of Thorneycroft, limped arm in

1965
03:58:13.040 --> 03:58:18.680
arm to the carriage which was to
drive them down to the village where they

1966
03:58:18.760 --> 03:58:24.360
were going to get mendered and patched. As best they could. Private Pinkerton

1967
03:58:24.639 --> 03:58:31.040
had four teeth loues. He wasn't
quite sure what sort of a job the

1968
03:58:31.239 --> 03:58:35.319
village dentist would make of it.
Drop me on the way at the butcher's

1969
03:58:35.520 --> 03:58:43.520
old cock sparrow, said mister Bailey. Oi regan that Arthur pander Steak will

1970
03:58:43.600 --> 03:58:48.760
fix up this ere, right,
twinkler, mine is Robin live, a

1971
03:58:48.879 --> 03:58:54.440
ballly old steam engine. Gently with
the hamble AND's jenkins, Slow march to

1972
03:58:54.559 --> 03:59:01.680
the mortuary, Go easy over the
cobbles, and what's the program? Did

1973
03:59:01.799 --> 03:59:13.520
you say? Presentation of an address? Complimentary and Valordictory, groaned Pinkerton on

1974
03:59:13.719 --> 03:59:18.040
the village green. Worse than whiz
Bang's bell. But we've got to go

1975
03:59:18.239 --> 03:59:26.760
through with it. Under the spread
and m commented mister Bailey. Any beer,

1976
03:59:26.959 --> 03:59:33.719
wait and see you. Thirsty old
hippopotamus replied Pinkie, sha'n't be able

1977
03:59:33.799 --> 03:59:39.840
to see much with a bugged up
optic like this, Ere muttered the ex

1978
03:59:39.920 --> 03:59:46.840
burglar. Hello, here's old block
ornaments, border works. Bye bye bye

1979
03:59:48.559 --> 03:59:56.520
all juicy ladies and gentlemen, fox
terriers and family parties. The butcher came

1980
03:59:56.639 --> 04:00:03.040
forward, bowing low o for panda
rump squishy end, said mister Bailey.

1981
04:00:03.959 --> 04:00:09.719
And don't slap it to make it
tender. I don't want to eat it,

1982
04:00:09.360 --> 04:00:15.840
not yet any events, though it's
a pity to waste it. Thank

1983
04:00:15.920 --> 04:00:22.120
you, butcher, thank you.
I'm very much obliged. Put it down

1984
04:00:22.239 --> 04:00:28.239
on the bill, charge it up
to Lord Pinkerton, Thornycroft Castle, and

1985
04:00:28.520 --> 04:00:33.159
now, if you'll kindly turn your
head away, I'll apply the poultice.

1986
04:00:35.840 --> 04:00:41.760
The scene on the village Green was
gay beyond description. Once, many many

1987
04:00:41.879 --> 04:00:48.159
years ago, a king came to
Thornycroft to shoot at the fat pheasants reared

1988
04:00:48.280 --> 04:00:56.639
with so much tender solicitude by Pinki's
great great grandfather. But they do say,

1989
04:00:56.319 --> 04:01:01.000
those who have heard the tale told
from lip to lip across the years

1990
04:01:01.479 --> 04:01:07.799
in the sanded parlor of the thorny
Arms, that his Majesty's welcome, hearty

1991
04:01:07.920 --> 04:01:13.680
and loyal though it was, could
not hold a candle to this solemn ceremonial,

1992
04:01:15.399 --> 04:01:22.399
the heroes of which were Private Pinkerton
and Private William Bailey. The country

1993
04:01:22.520 --> 04:01:30.360
people were all there on a raised
dias moved to enthusiasm by a scene which

1994
04:01:30.440 --> 04:01:37.280
at once tickled their imagination and stirred
their patriotism. Somehow or other, though

1995
04:01:37.360 --> 04:01:43.000
he didn't ask for it. Mister
Bailey was the titbit of the show.

1996
04:01:43.280 --> 04:01:50.680
His identity had slipped out. His
lured past, shed a halo over his

1997
04:01:50.840 --> 04:01:56.760
rugged head, and he was hiled
with unbounded acclamation, not so much as

1998
04:01:56.840 --> 04:02:01.959
a burglar with a list of past
convictions as long as the church catechism,

1999
04:02:03.840 --> 04:02:09.239
which he was. But as they
reformed and reclaimed murderer, possessing all the

2000
04:02:09.399 --> 04:02:15.639
subtle charms of the late doctor Crippen, with a dash of jack the ripper

2001
04:02:15.719 --> 04:02:22.239
thrown in which he wasn't. The
school children were all there, garbed in

2002
04:02:22.399 --> 04:02:31.479
white, and oh how sweetly,
how raptly they sang, how smiling more,

2003
04:02:31.639 --> 04:02:43.239
smileing, mourn, smileing more.
Whose bright prayers ands meanin us?

2004
04:02:43.600 --> 04:02:50.319
Pinky? What? Murmured mister Bailey, highly delighted, Back up, bright

2005
04:02:50.479 --> 04:03:01.760
presents, look cheerful, godless?
Flies away, flies away, flies away.

2006
04:03:03.879 --> 04:03:11.959
Likewise, hooray, added the melodious
burglar, removing for a moment the

2007
04:03:11.159 --> 04:03:18.040
stake poultice from his eye so that
he could envisage more clearly this delightful Sylvan

2008
04:03:18.239 --> 04:03:26.520
scene. And then the Thornycroft fourth
Prize brass band burst out with a most

2009
04:03:26.600 --> 04:03:35.120
amazing clamor, which somebody said was
meant to represent a brazen realization of see

2010
04:03:35.239 --> 04:03:41.840
the conquering Hero comes. The fact
that it wasn't quite like it may be

2011
04:03:43.079 --> 04:03:50.200
explained by the trifling slip made by
mister Gilad, the sexton to whom was

2012
04:03:50.440 --> 04:03:58.079
entrusted the important part of base on
the euphonium. Possessing a somewhat uncertain memory,

2013
04:03:58.680 --> 04:04:05.520
he always played from music, but
in the excitement of the present occasion,

2014
04:04:05.280 --> 04:04:11.280
he had fished out the wrong score
and was blowing for all he was

2015
04:04:11.399 --> 04:04:18.760
worth. And he was a tremendous
euphoniumist at the solemn base of the Dead

2016
04:04:18.840 --> 04:04:26.840
march in Saul. So while the
rest of his harmonious comrades were giving the

2017
04:04:26.040 --> 04:04:33.319
conquering Hero beans, mister gild was, so to speak, entoming him.

2018
04:04:35.520 --> 04:04:43.360
But he meant well, and so
did everybody else. The valedictory and complimentary

2019
04:04:43.440 --> 04:04:50.159
address had been prepared by the schoolmaster, who was an ardent worshiper at the

2020
04:04:50.319 --> 04:04:56.200
shrine of the muse. It was
all in rhyme, except of course,

2021
04:04:56.559 --> 04:05:03.239
the signatures. It was engrossed on
vellum by the village blacksmith, who was

2022
04:05:03.360 --> 04:05:07.120
as neat at the scrivening as he
was at what he called the healen and

2023
04:05:07.280 --> 04:05:15.639
the solent of the Hoarsan. And
it was headed simply and owed to our

2024
04:05:15.760 --> 04:05:22.520
brave heroes from the fighting line by
Emmanuel Squibbs, the Schoolhouse, Thornycroft.

2025
04:05:24.559 --> 04:05:33.000
It's began in the heroic strain,
simple but dignified lists to the cheers that

2026
04:05:33.319 --> 04:05:41.399
rise from one and all to great
our hero back to Thorny Hall. Raise,

2027
04:05:41.840 --> 04:05:48.120
raise your voices, babe and centenarian. Strike, Strike the liar,

2028
04:05:48.000 --> 04:05:56.239
ring out in joyous clarion, Blow
the loud horn, reverberate the gong,

2029
04:05:56.280 --> 04:06:03.680
praise him in paeans of victory,
worrea song. Let the glad tuning fork

2030
04:06:03.920 --> 04:06:11.920
in twanging prong, proclaim the tidings. Now we shan't be long before the

2031
04:06:13.040 --> 04:06:20.280
hum. The rector, who in
resonant tones, was reading the ode,

2032
04:06:20.079 --> 04:06:26.399
paused and coughed, and mister Squibbs, the wrapped author, dug his reference

2033
04:06:26.520 --> 04:06:33.639
in the ribs. It's all right, sir, he whispered anxiously. Pray

2034
04:06:33.719 --> 04:06:43.680
proceed poetic license. Ah hum,
said the rector, and went on proclaim

2035
04:06:43.799 --> 04:06:54.520
the tidings. Now we shan't be
long before the bloody battles all are one,

2036
04:06:54.360 --> 04:07:03.120
and we have slain and vanquished every
hun loudon long continued cheers, in

2037
04:07:03.239 --> 04:07:11.040
which mister Bailey joined in no uncertain
voice. Now, in this epoch making

2038
04:07:11.120 --> 04:07:18.440
ode, there were certain difficulties of
rhyme which had given mister Squibbs many hours

2039
04:07:18.600 --> 04:07:24.760
of pungent and poignant pain. He
knew that it was necessary to bring in

2040
04:07:24.959 --> 04:07:31.639
somewhere a suitable rhyme to the individual's
addressed in the effort, and the name

2041
04:07:31.719 --> 04:07:37.319
of the chief hero of these exploits, Pinkerton, laid him out flat.

2042
04:07:37.840 --> 04:07:43.840
Mister Squibbs was a born poet,
and so was his father before him.

2043
04:07:43.680 --> 04:07:50.280
But he sought and sought in vain
for the elusive rhyme to link up his

2044
04:07:50.520 --> 04:07:56.639
lord and master with Poesy. But
still hoping for the best, and for

2045
04:07:56.879 --> 04:08:03.159
some sudden swift stroke of inspiration before
it was too late, he turned to

2046
04:08:03.280 --> 04:08:11.319
the easier problem of Bailey. There
was Daily, but that was too common.

2047
04:08:11.120 --> 04:08:18.840
There was Wailey, but that was
too sad. There was also Quailey,

2048
04:08:18.719 --> 04:08:24.879
But had mister Bailey ever quailed at
anything? No. At last,

2049
04:08:26.040 --> 04:08:31.479
however, it came, and the
ode proceeded. Thus, who was a

2050
04:08:31.799 --> 04:08:37.920
face the lewd less sibious hun made
him turn tail and got him on the

2051
04:08:39.120 --> 04:08:46.959
run. Who was the brave and
doughty paralyzer of Midian hosts, belonging to

2052
04:08:46.159 --> 04:08:54.239
the Kaiser, Who was the wizard, who the mesmerizer, Who was it

2053
04:08:54.440 --> 04:09:03.719
down the Prussian dragon scaly None other
than our honoredt Bill Bailey. And now

2054
04:09:05.040 --> 04:09:09.680
for the grand finale. It took
two wet towels and a quarter of the

2055
04:09:09.799 --> 04:09:16.959
best from the thorny arms to abstract
the last couplet from the red hot brain

2056
04:09:16.120 --> 04:09:24.079
of mister Squibs. And here it
is, in all its polished splendor his

2057
04:09:24.319 --> 04:09:31.639
health. Now ye assembled drink at
one and all, and held the name

2058
04:09:31.840 --> 04:09:39.479
of Pinkerton. It was a triumph. Having read it all, there was

2059
04:09:39.559 --> 04:09:45.159
about half a mile of it.
The rector folded the scroll and handed it

2060
04:09:45.559 --> 04:09:50.760
amid deafening cheers to Pinkie, who
bowed, bowed to the rector, to

2061
04:09:50.959 --> 04:09:58.440
the audience, and finally to the
modest though naturally proud author. Then,

2062
04:09:58.760 --> 04:10:05.719
of course he had to make a
speech, And though the cement trowled into

2063
04:10:05.879 --> 04:10:11.520
his aching mouth by the village dentist
somewhat interfered with the eloquence of it,

2064
04:10:11.520 --> 04:10:18.399
he got through very creditably all things
considered. He didn't say much, but

2065
04:10:18.600 --> 04:10:26.040
it was to the point serious,
and from his heart. He told them

2066
04:10:26.079 --> 04:10:31.639
all that he loved his country,
he loved his home, dear old Thorneycroft.

2067
04:10:31.280 --> 04:10:37.600
To loud cheers, he loved them
all, And though he was only

2068
04:10:37.719 --> 04:10:45.520
a common tommy to determine cries of
no, no, and yet more cheers,

2069
04:10:46.559 --> 04:10:52.479
he loved his job and meant to
go through with it. In response

2070
04:10:52.719 --> 04:11:00.360
to loud and clamorous shouts of Bailey, mister Bailey, mister Bailey, still

2071
04:11:00.479 --> 04:11:05.840
holding the half pound of best rump
to his injured eye, declared that he

2072
04:11:05.079 --> 04:11:11.200
was too full for words and begged
to be excused the mortal anguish of making

2073
04:11:11.280 --> 04:11:18.559
a speech. Remembering the occasion of
the heartcake and coffee love feast, he

2074
04:11:18.799 --> 04:11:26.319
made the excuse that had served him. Then serve him now your reverence,

2075
04:11:26.000 --> 04:11:33.920
mister Schoolmaster. Ladies and gentlemen,
I thank you all, he said.

2076
04:11:35.000 --> 04:11:41.600
If I was not still suffering from
the effects of asphyxiating gas poisoning, I'd

2077
04:11:41.600 --> 04:11:46.360
attempt to open the valves of my
overflowing art and tell you what I think.

2078
04:11:48.559 --> 04:11:54.879
But ladies and gentlemen, all,
it positively can't be done. Then,

2079
04:11:56.520 --> 04:12:03.360
seeing mister Squibs's retriever watching him the
hungry eye, mister Bailey removed the

2080
04:12:03.520 --> 04:12:11.200
poultice from his war worn face,
and, crying ere tuser catch tossed it

2081
04:12:11.360 --> 04:12:18.559
to the dog and resumed his seat. Amid loud and deafening applause. The

2082
04:12:18.760 --> 04:12:24.879
last goodbyes had been said, the
final handshaking over the last speaker quaft,

2083
04:12:26.520 --> 04:12:33.280
and to the strains of God save
the King. Private Pinkerton and Private Bailey

2084
04:12:33.799 --> 04:12:37.840
set off again to carry on their
little bit for their king and their country.

2085
04:12:39.479 --> 04:12:46.559
Lady Angelica's was the last hand to
clasp mister Bailey's. Goodbye, mister

2086
04:12:46.680 --> 04:12:54.879
Bailey, said she au revoir and
good hunting. Mister Bailey looked her fair

2087
04:12:56.000 --> 04:13:01.680
and square in the eye. She
laughed a little nervously, and then turned

2088
04:13:01.719 --> 04:13:09.040
away. Hey ho, said the
hero of a thousand fights. Hey ho,

2089
04:13:11.079 --> 04:13:15.760
it's a long long wait a Tipperary, and is a cold and frosty

2090
04:13:15.879 --> 04:13:22.399
winterer comin. We'll keep the home
fires burning for you, murmured Lady Angelica,

2091
04:13:24.360 --> 04:13:28.040
and in her soft eyes the flicker
of them seemed to shine already.

2092
04:13:30.959 --> 04:13:35.920
Hoots, and so it's you the
pair yee back again, said a familiar

2093
04:13:37.079 --> 04:13:45.319
voice at the corner of Triangle Trench. Yes, replied mister Bailey, back

2094
04:13:45.440 --> 04:13:50.920
to the same expl if old filter. And it's a boot time, Mi

2095
04:13:50.079 --> 04:13:56.120
Laddie, said Piper mcquirk. The
war has been waitin for ye, and

2096
04:13:56.280 --> 04:14:03.680
the Kaiser has been sending a cross
anxious inquiries for ye. Then we'll get

2097
04:14:03.760 --> 04:14:11.079
on with it, said mister Bailey, Lead me to him. That concludes

2098
04:14:11.280 --> 04:14:24.079
chapter sixteen of Private Pinkerton Millionaire and
is also the end of section eight Section

2099
04:14:24.280 --> 04:14:31.959
nine of Private Pinkerton Millionaire by Harold
Ashton. This libri box recording is in

2100
04:14:33.040 --> 04:14:41.280
the public domain. Chapters seventeen and
eighteen. Chapter seventeen, The Exploit of

2101
04:14:41.520 --> 04:14:50.360
gingerbread Glue. When the little gurkhas
were sent up to the desperate sector where

2102
04:14:50.440 --> 04:14:56.760
Triangle Trench, with its scanty cover
and its shell strown terrain, marks the

2103
04:14:56.879 --> 04:15:01.879
graveyard of many of our brave dead. The English soldiers there, who had

2104
04:15:01.959 --> 04:15:07.600
never seen them before, mistook them
for Japanese, with their slit eyes,

2105
04:15:09.000 --> 04:15:16.280
their yellow faces, and their squat
sturdy little figures. In the dead of

2106
04:15:16.520 --> 04:15:24.440
night they came like ghosts, silently, like ghosts too, would they vanish

2107
04:15:24.600 --> 04:15:33.879
now and again? Intent mysterious upon
their grim and gruesome business. What next,

2108
04:15:33.040 --> 04:15:39.000
I wonder, said mc quirk to
Pinkerton, one mild and for this

2109
04:15:39.239 --> 04:15:46.040
part of creation fairly on a bentful
night, as they crouched together over a

2110
04:15:46.200 --> 04:15:54.959
warmed up half ten of mackanokey Japs
by Caledonia, I wonder how much of

2111
04:15:54.040 --> 04:16:00.639
the world be left out this scrap
before we're through with it. We needn't

2112
04:16:00.680 --> 04:16:04.559
be surprised if the next crowd of
brothers and arms we find support on us

2113
04:16:04.680 --> 04:16:11.360
in this merry circus turn out to
be the household cavalry of the King of

2114
04:16:11.440 --> 04:16:18.440
the Cannibal Islands. Hey, laddie, Japs, they're not Japs, said

2115
04:16:18.520 --> 04:16:25.760
Pinkerton, They're Gurkhas. And he
told the giant piper all he knew,

2116
04:16:26.319 --> 04:16:30.239
and a good deal he didn't of
the fame and the fury of these wonderful

2117
04:16:30.360 --> 04:16:37.719
warriors from the Indian Hills. That's
the end of the recital. Mcquirk pursed

2118
04:16:37.799 --> 04:16:45.760
his lips, puffed out his cheeks, and executed an imaginary pebrock upon an

2119
04:16:45.840 --> 04:16:53.120
invisible pipe. Pew, said he
the canny callants. So we're in for

2120
04:16:53.239 --> 04:17:00.440
some lively nights. Say it looks
very much like it declared incertain, and

2121
04:17:00.920 --> 04:17:07.639
they were. One of the new
tenants of Triangle Trench was a little hillman,

2122
04:17:08.280 --> 04:17:15.959
all wire and whipcord, whose name
composed of a bewildering mixture of gees

2123
04:17:15.200 --> 04:17:21.440
and elves, and us was worse
than Welsh to twist the tongue too.

2124
04:17:22.840 --> 04:17:27.920
But Tommy, who is a past
master at fanetics, met the occasion and

2125
04:17:29.120 --> 04:17:34.920
overcame the difficulty with his usual ease. He christened this Silent Night of the

2126
04:17:36.040 --> 04:17:42.200
Cookery gingerbread Glue, which was near
enough and apt, though not exactly in

2127
04:17:42.239 --> 04:17:49.680
accordance with the Gurkha's baptismal register if
he ever had one. Had it not

2128
04:17:49.959 --> 04:17:56.559
been for the kind attentions of gingerbread
glue, it would have been my sad

2129
04:17:56.719 --> 04:18:03.120
duty long ago to have written the
obi chery notice of Piper mcquirk. Mac

2130
04:18:03.399 --> 04:18:08.719
was ever worrying and musing over the
loss of his pipes. They were a

2131
04:18:08.840 --> 04:18:15.239
part of him, like the Siamese's
brother twin. Often he would wander into

2132
04:18:15.319 --> 04:18:21.239
the danger zone Toho searched for them. They led him on like will of

2133
04:18:21.319 --> 04:18:26.760
the wisp, into all manner of
trouble, and once when he was out

2134
04:18:26.920 --> 04:18:33.520
after them, a German sniper spotted
him and bowled him over. It was

2135
04:18:33.639 --> 04:18:38.920
Gingerbread who crawled out under the moonlight
and carried the giant piper in, though

2136
04:18:40.000 --> 04:18:45.399
he was twice his size and three
times his weight. It was Gingerbread,

2137
04:18:45.520 --> 04:18:51.879
too, who veiled vengeance upon the
body and the soul, the grandfather,

2138
04:18:52.200 --> 04:18:56.200
the grandmother, the ox, and
the ass, and the airs, and

2139
04:18:56.360 --> 04:19:03.879
the signs of that German sniper or
that self same German marksman had twice reminded

2140
04:19:03.000 --> 04:19:10.520
Gingerbread with a bullet that in the
midst of life we are in death or

2141
04:19:10.840 --> 04:19:18.000
precious near it. It was one
of the precarious duties of gingerbread Glue to

2142
04:19:18.280 --> 04:19:25.760
sally forth in the evenshine foraging for
water. His root lay well within range

2143
04:19:25.879 --> 04:19:32.319
of a half ruined wall, part
of a holy smashed farmhouse which before a

2144
04:19:32.440 --> 04:19:41.799
British shell had demolished it overlooked Triangle
Trench. His first journey, rashly importunate,

2145
04:19:41.280 --> 04:19:47.239
was with a mule. There was
a tiny flicker of reddish flame from

2146
04:19:47.280 --> 04:19:52.440
the wall, something like the tongue
of a viper, and the mule dyed.

2147
04:19:52.680 --> 04:19:57.440
It was fortunate for gingerbread Glue that
he was on the other side of

2148
04:19:57.559 --> 04:20:04.680
it. His second journey alone,
This time was also marked by the viper

2149
04:20:04.959 --> 04:20:10.799
hiding in the wall, and he
came back with one ear missing and a

2150
04:20:11.000 --> 04:20:17.920
nasty mess of blood soaking into his
shoulder. Nearly came unstuck that time,

2151
04:20:18.040 --> 04:20:22.959
Glue, said Mack, whose interest
in the little Gurkha was naturally of a

2152
04:20:23.120 --> 04:20:30.399
fatherly sort. In reply, Gingerbread
drew swiftly his hand across his throat with

2153
04:20:30.559 --> 04:20:37.760
a significant gruesome gesture, and made
a remark which nobody attempted to understand.

2154
04:20:40.479 --> 04:20:45.879
I think it's about time we investigated
that wall, said Pinkerton, recalling to

2155
04:20:47.079 --> 04:20:53.680
himself the tragy comedy of Pyramus,
and thisby he explained his desire in a

2156
04:20:53.879 --> 04:21:00.559
mixture of pigeon English and dumb show
to gingerbread Glue, who was squatting on

2157
04:21:00.760 --> 04:21:07.559
his haunches and engaged in the absorbing
task of imparting a razor edge to the

2158
04:21:07.719 --> 04:21:15.440
murderous blade of his cookery with an
oilstone. With a grim smile on his

2159
04:21:15.639 --> 04:21:23.239
yellow face, gingerbread Glue accepted the
invitation. It was a night of streaky

2160
04:21:23.360 --> 04:21:33.079
moonshine and creeping cloud when Pinkerton and
gingerbread Glue set out upon their interesting adventure

2161
04:21:33.520 --> 04:21:41.120
of mural analysis. Pinkerton carried his
rifle. Sahib, no shoot, said

2162
04:21:41.200 --> 04:21:48.879
Glue, shaking his head. Germans
hear noise, and then ah. He

2163
04:21:49.079 --> 04:21:57.040
imitated horribly the death rattle and rolled
his eyes gruesomely. This will be better,

2164
04:21:57.200 --> 04:22:03.200
Sahib. This was the deadly cookery. He flourished for an instant in

2165
04:22:03.360 --> 04:22:10.920
his deft grip. It flickered with
steel blue radiance in the moonlight, and

2166
04:22:11.239 --> 04:22:15.520
Private Pinkerton felt a sudden chill at
the back of his neck, as though

2167
04:22:15.559 --> 04:22:22.000
an icy finger had pressed there.
So he no shoot, no rifle,

2168
04:22:23.200 --> 04:22:30.079
repeated the grim little Hillman. But
Pinkerton did not fancy venturing on this expedition

2169
04:22:30.360 --> 04:22:37.040
empty handed, so he retained his
weapon, and the two stole out into

2170
04:22:37.079 --> 04:22:44.079
the mysterious night. Now and then
a star shell sawed up, whizzing from

2171
04:22:44.120 --> 04:22:51.280
the German lines. When it burst, Pinkerton and Gingerbread Glue lay flat on

2172
04:22:51.399 --> 04:22:56.280
their bellies until the blaze of it
had died away. Then they crawled on.

2173
04:22:57.520 --> 04:23:03.719
It was laborious regression, for the
star shells seemed to be heaving a

2174
04:23:03.879 --> 04:23:10.440
night out with a roving commission,
and the zip of the bullets were like

2175
04:23:10.719 --> 04:23:17.799
mosquitoes on a hot night. In
their persistence, Gingerbread got one through the

2176
04:23:17.959 --> 04:23:23.120
shock of his thick hair searing his
scalp. Before their goal came within sight,

2177
04:23:26.159 --> 04:23:30.280
there was the wall showing up,
white and vivid. As the passing

2178
04:23:30.440 --> 04:23:37.239
clouds cleared the moon. The two
explorers could even distinguish the gaping apertureinete high

2179
04:23:37.360 --> 04:23:44.479
up and apparently the work of a
plunging shell from the British battery far beyond.

2180
04:23:45.159 --> 04:23:51.159
Stealthily, now they crawled to within
thirty yards of the heavy mass of

2181
04:23:51.319 --> 04:23:57.040
brick, mortar and rubble, somewhere
within which the keen eyed enemy sniper lay

2182
04:23:57.200 --> 04:24:06.600
concealed. Sh whispered the Gurkha in
Pinkerton's eah, The Sahab will now lie

2183
04:24:06.680 --> 04:24:12.479
still and watch for a moment.
The friendly light of the moon was obscured.

2184
04:24:14.760 --> 04:24:19.840
When it cleared again, gingerbread glue
had vanished, no sight, no

2185
04:24:21.120 --> 04:24:29.000
sound. The earth had swallowed him
up and closed again. With straining eyes,

2186
04:24:29.399 --> 04:24:34.280
Pinkerton peered forward among the shadows of
the uneven ground. It might have

2187
04:24:34.440 --> 04:24:40.239
been Golgotha, for the lack of
any shred of life or of movement there.

2188
04:24:41.559 --> 04:24:45.879
Then he directed his gaze to the
wall, the hole Annette, and

2189
04:24:45.040 --> 04:24:52.120
the clear space underneath. He watched
the emptiness of that clear space unwinkingly.

2190
04:24:53.120 --> 04:24:57.399
He could have sworn he had never
turned his eyes away for an instant.

2191
04:24:59.559 --> 04:25:03.319
Yet in a flash, in less
time than the ticking of a second,

2192
04:25:03.959 --> 04:25:11.079
something had happened there where there had
been emptiness an instant before. A human

2193
04:25:11.239 --> 04:25:18.280
form materialized, now, as if
by magic, under the hole, as

2194
04:25:18.440 --> 04:25:25.200
large as life, but still as
death, crouched the figure of gingerbread glue.

2195
04:25:26.440 --> 04:25:30.559
He was squatting on his haunches,
hands on knees, and gazing up

2196
04:25:32.079 --> 04:25:37.760
sideways toward the hole in the wall. His attitude was that of intense,

2197
04:25:38.159 --> 04:25:45.440
strained attention. Then he raised his
brown hands and brought them down sharply upon

2198
04:25:45.559 --> 04:25:52.680
his bare knees in a quick pattering
tattoo. He paused for a few seconds

2199
04:25:52.799 --> 04:26:00.879
in this strange pantomime. Paused,
listened, and still peered upside ways at

2200
04:26:00.959 --> 04:26:11.280
the aperture. Nothing happened again the
sharp. This time, something indefinite in

2201
04:26:11.479 --> 04:26:18.040
shape and substance could be observed moving
in the shadow of the hole. Pinkerton

2202
04:26:18.159 --> 04:26:23.000
watched it, fascinated as a bird
is fascinated by the mesmeric actions of the

2203
04:26:23.200 --> 04:26:33.200
snake seeking its destruction. He could
see vaguely but unmistakably this movement. He

2204
04:26:33.440 --> 04:26:41.760
was pretty certain that gingerbread glue could
not from his position almost immediately under the

2205
04:26:41.920 --> 04:26:47.799
hole, so he raised his rifle
and took a long, steady aim,

2206
04:26:48.520 --> 04:26:53.639
waiting for what he knew would presently
occur again, the snake charming Pata pata

2207
04:26:55.079 --> 04:27:02.440
from the crouching Gurkha for the third
time. The human kettledrum rattled, and

2208
04:27:02.840 --> 04:27:08.399
now whatever it was, or whoever
it was inside that hole, was seriously

2209
04:27:08.639 --> 04:27:17.680
disturbed. The moonshine gleamed quite clear
at this exciting moment. The complete pitcher

2210
04:27:18.120 --> 04:27:23.680
stood out, vivid and sharp in
the deeper shadow, and then out of

2211
04:27:23.799 --> 04:27:33.159
it that something now moved. The
patter ceased below the hole. The little

2212
04:27:33.280 --> 04:27:40.200
Gurkha crouched, immovable and stark as
any sphinx, but his right hand had

2213
04:27:40.239 --> 04:27:45.639
now shifted from his right knee to
his left side. From the hole in

2214
04:27:45.719 --> 04:27:52.799
the wall, a head emerged,
a bare head, close cropped and bullet

2215
04:27:52.879 --> 04:28:00.639
shaped. Then out of the shadow
a pair of broad shoulders. The German

2216
04:28:00.799 --> 04:28:04.840
sniper, for it was, He
looked around to the left, and to

2217
04:28:06.000 --> 04:28:14.040
the right, and above, but
never below Pinkerton, though certain of his

2218
04:28:14.280 --> 04:28:19.399
mark, was too fascinated to press
the trigger of his rifle. He just

2219
04:28:19.680 --> 04:28:29.159
lay there and watched breathless. Then
the German moved again and stared straight at

2220
04:28:29.239 --> 04:28:37.440
Pinkerton a long, hard stare.
He has certainly spotted me, said Pinkerton

2221
04:28:37.559 --> 04:28:44.479
to himself. It's now or never. His aim, point blank at the

2222
04:28:44.600 --> 04:28:52.239
white, bony forehead was deliberate.
He pressed the trigger, but he was

2223
04:28:52.399 --> 04:28:57.159
just a moment too late. There
was a lightning streak of blue steel as

2224
04:28:57.239 --> 04:29:03.399
the curved blade of the terror ruble
cookery flashed. Half an hour later,

2225
04:29:04.120 --> 04:29:14.040
the two adventurers crawled wearily into the
welcome fastness of triangle trench. Salaam Gingerbread,

2226
04:29:14.719 --> 04:29:19.680
said mcquirk cheerily. I see you're
still alive, any luck, old

2227
04:29:19.799 --> 04:29:29.120
son, Salam Sahib replied the Gurkha
very gravely. The luck is here.

2228
04:29:30.639 --> 04:29:37.200
He unslung the bulging bag from his
shoulder and laid it almost reverently at the

2229
04:29:37.319 --> 04:29:42.200
feet of the big piper, And
when he opened it, the hair of

2230
04:29:42.399 --> 04:29:53.319
Piper mcquirk rose straight and stiff upon
his head. That concludes Chapter seventeen of

2231
04:29:53.600 --> 04:30:03.879
Private Pinkerton Millionaire. The section continues
with chapter eighteen, The mince pie mule

2232
04:30:03.000 --> 04:30:11.639
train. Well, Harrah, Merry
Christmas or bust, declared Piper mcquirk.

2233
04:30:11.879 --> 04:30:19.000
Solemnly, we'll have a merry Christmas
and bust more likely, commented Sergeant Major

2234
04:30:19.159 --> 04:30:26.799
Singleton, if there's any reliant on
the juicy facts printed in the London papers,

2235
04:30:26.319 --> 04:30:33.639
which his Majesty's post Office kindly serves
up with afternoon tea in the trenches

2236
04:30:33.920 --> 04:30:41.879
every midnight. Have you seen the
lists of subscribers and donations to poor Starve

2237
04:30:41.000 --> 04:30:48.399
and Tommy the plum Puddin's, the
turkeys, the sausages, the drag snappins,

2238
04:30:49.000 --> 04:30:56.040
the Oho, every bloomin' thing you
can imagine fair gives you the stomach.

2239
04:30:56.159 --> 04:31:02.959
Acre does to read em. It's
steam moralizing, That's what it is.

2240
04:31:03.200 --> 04:31:11.760
Pinkerton d moral amen broke in the
cheerful mcquirk, but it's a bonnie

2241
04:31:11.840 --> 04:31:19.639
grouser year pants millad led him come
and the Mayor the merrier. I've read

2242
04:31:19.719 --> 04:31:26.600
the lists until me mouth watered and
the tears came to me eyes. Inspector

2243
04:31:26.719 --> 04:31:34.520
Marsell for why you'll be sparing because
Scotland in this circus doesn't a seem to

2244
04:31:34.719 --> 04:31:41.319
stand where she did, and if
it hadn't a been for the Heelanders inner

2245
04:31:41.399 --> 04:31:49.040
this fighting the Lord helped the British
Army. No, Politics, mcquirk snapped

2246
04:31:49.200 --> 04:31:55.799
the sergeant major. You ought to
know by this time that you'll breaking the

2247
04:31:55.959 --> 04:32:03.360
rules of triangle bloomin trench. You'll
mind a tanner then, Bano Saxpence,

2248
04:32:04.319 --> 04:32:11.159
said the Scots. But I'll have
my money's wife. As I was saying,

2249
04:32:11.600 --> 04:32:17.280
Scotland doesna seemed to had come up
to the scratching, contributing to these

2250
04:32:17.479 --> 04:32:23.680
manificent lists a piece and plenty and
plump titude in a matter of donations of

2251
04:32:23.799 --> 04:32:33.239
the National Dish, The National dish? What's that? Mac thistles, asked

2252
04:32:33.440 --> 04:32:41.040
Pinkerton to the ass who asked that
question. No, promptly replied Piper mcquirk.

2253
04:32:42.280 --> 04:32:48.520
Maybe you'd na heard of the haggas? The what the haggas? Morn

2254
04:32:49.479 --> 04:32:56.760
on the scouting and stiffening qualities of
which the British Army won Bannockburn and Trafalgar

2255
04:32:57.280 --> 04:33:07.159
and Waterloo. Politics again interrupted old
pants. I'll trouble you for another tanner.

2256
04:33:08.479 --> 04:33:12.840
I an then got the value of
the first saxpans, yet, said

2257
04:33:12.880 --> 04:33:18.680
the Scots, And I'm tellin ye
if we'd had haggers instead a bully and

2258
04:33:18.840 --> 04:33:26.119
biscuit to our iron rations, I
for one would have been pipe a Highland

2259
04:33:26.240 --> 04:33:30.799
laddie along the grunted d Lnden or
whatever ye call it in Berlin by this

2260
04:33:32.080 --> 04:33:37.840
time. But there's opportunity yet to
make good the deficiency. An I may

2261
04:33:38.000 --> 04:33:44.400
tell ye now that we're within a
handshake, so to speak, of Christmas

2262
04:33:44.560 --> 04:33:49.680
Day, that I've order'd two dozen
of the heftiest haggers that mortal man ever

2263
04:33:49.840 --> 04:33:55.599
licked his lips o'er to be sent
along to me here, and just a

2264
04:33:55.720 --> 04:34:02.799
boot now from my uncle Donald mc
quirk, the mast renowned flesher in Peebles,

2265
04:34:03.040 --> 04:34:11.279
as Bobby Burns sang in that inspiring
poem when wild war's deadly blast,

2266
04:34:11.479 --> 04:34:19.840
glory is the sodjer's prize, the
soger's wealth is haggas. It'll give the

2267
04:34:19.959 --> 04:34:27.400
boys a treat anyway, said the
hospitable Scot. If my uncle Donald only

2268
04:34:27.560 --> 04:34:33.959
comes up to time, what's it
tastes like, asked the Sergeant Major,

2269
04:34:34.720 --> 04:34:41.360
who, being of Lowland Middlesex breed
and upbringing, had never heard of the

2270
04:34:41.479 --> 04:34:48.159
haggersts before. I'll no be attempting
to paint the lily, replied the piper,

2271
04:34:48.240 --> 04:34:53.639
as mister Asquith said, on a
certain famous occasion, he himself,

2272
04:34:53.799 --> 04:35:00.720
being a full blooded scott and hand
in hand with the haggers, has missed

2273
04:35:00.880 --> 04:35:07.799
asked with said pants, wait and
see the haggas says, just heaven in

2274
04:35:07.919 --> 04:35:14.560
a wee bit bag. Your fine
is remitted, mac, said the Sergeant

2275
04:35:14.639 --> 04:35:21.119
Major, deeply impressed. Agis or
no agis? There's your tanner back?

2276
04:35:22.439 --> 04:35:29.840
And what is your contribution to our
Christmas mess Santa Claus asked mcquirk of Pinkerton,

2277
04:35:30.919 --> 04:35:36.680
Have ye anything up your generous sleeve
to assuage our pangs on the morn

2278
04:35:36.840 --> 04:35:41.159
of mirth and melody. You're a
man a means, I've heard it whispered.

2279
04:35:42.360 --> 04:35:48.360
I mind a little matter or a
five pound note away back, laddie,

2280
04:35:48.680 --> 04:35:55.680
as Robbie says, so true.
But why should a man better fair

2281
04:35:56.479 --> 04:36:03.680
and a men? Brothers? What
you supplying to the festiff board A trifling

2282
04:36:03.759 --> 04:36:12.319
effort in mince pies, replied Pinkerton, blushing, But said the old Sergeant

2283
04:36:12.439 --> 04:36:18.000
Major, taking an Eiffel of the
hot stuff across the way through his periscope.

2284
04:36:18.840 --> 04:36:23.040
How we're going to get the plum
puddins, and the mince pies and

2285
04:36:23.200 --> 04:36:30.919
the agassas into this gloriole just now
beats me, I reckon from the look

2286
04:36:32.000 --> 04:36:37.200
of things, that all we poor
blawyers are going to get for our Christmas

2287
04:36:37.319 --> 04:36:44.000
dinners will be belly fools, a
Jack Johnson's and Pip Squeaks. Look out,

2288
04:36:44.880 --> 04:36:49.520
Dan, you Blawyers, Dan,
every mother's son of ye Christians,

2289
04:36:49.560 --> 04:36:57.599
awake, Salute the happy morn.
Here they come away. And far behind

2290
04:36:59.000 --> 04:37:06.319
the tempestuous turmoil of Triangle Trench,
where our fasting heroes were so gallantly holding

2291
04:37:06.400 --> 04:37:11.720
the fort, there was trouble and
stress over the supplies, and the Christmas

2292
04:37:11.840 --> 04:37:18.159
post coming up, and the wounded
and the empties going down. A mule

2293
04:37:18.319 --> 04:37:25.520
column had turned ratty and had run
a mark amid a convoy of Christmas puddings,

2294
04:37:26.000 --> 04:37:33.119
with disastrous results. An urgent order
spoken in haste over a word worn

2295
04:37:33.279 --> 04:37:41.119
telephone wire had been misheard with the
unhappy sequel that the Something Cavalry Brigade Swaggerresque

2296
04:37:41.159 --> 04:37:48.119
of our Swagger Knights of the Silver
Spur and the Pen and Lance had received

2297
04:37:48.240 --> 04:37:53.279
as Christmas boxes a ton and a
half of chloride of lime and about a

2298
04:37:53.439 --> 04:38:00.520
hundredweight of bleatings, far famed vermin
destroyer in hand, these six ounce packets

2299
04:38:02.159 --> 04:38:07.720
with full instructions for use printed on
each packet, in place of the double

2300
04:38:07.840 --> 04:38:15.080
extra khaki shirts and the three ply
woolen comforters. Their aristocratic souls were ravening

2301
04:38:15.200 --> 04:38:22.400
for altogether for a time, at
any rate, peace and goodwill struck anything

2302
04:38:22.680 --> 04:38:30.959
but a clarion note to the eternal
honor of the Army Service Corps. It

2303
04:38:30.159 --> 04:38:37.520
must be recorded that everything was sorted
out and classified to general satisfaction sooner or

2304
04:38:37.680 --> 04:38:48.680
later. But it was pretty perplexing
while it lasted. Another little misunderstanding confounded

2305
04:38:48.840 --> 04:38:56.959
the confusion. Pinkerton's happy thought of
mince pies for his company had miscarried to

2306
04:38:56.119 --> 04:39:06.000
an amazing extent of multiplication. His
order generous to a fault had been repeated

2307
04:39:06.479 --> 04:39:15.279
again and yet again. Who is
this blazing ostrich of a maniac Private Pinkerton?

2308
04:39:15.599 --> 04:39:22.119
Anyway, said the irate Major,
who was superintending the hastening forward of

2309
04:39:22.240 --> 04:39:30.040
supplies from X blank to the firing
line. Cases and cases and cases of

2310
04:39:30.240 --> 04:39:38.639
some infernal muck, all addressed Private
Pinkerton b Company something rifles and wears his

2311
04:39:38.919 --> 04:39:47.759
blasted company triangle trench. Yes,
sir, said the tired little lieutenant,

2312
04:39:48.040 --> 04:39:52.479
who had just come in smothered with
mud. And by the way, sir,

2313
04:39:53.159 --> 04:39:59.959
those mules are rounded up at last, good, said the major.

2314
04:40:00.919 --> 04:40:07.759
See that pile of tack there in
those corded boxes. Yes, ammunition,

2315
04:40:07.959 --> 04:40:14.560
God knows what it is, but
it's all addressed to one blithering idiot.

2316
04:40:14.959 --> 04:40:19.680
And his name's Pinkerton. And his
address, if he isn't dead yet,

2317
04:40:21.479 --> 04:40:29.159
which I profoundly hope and trust he
is, is Triangle Trench. Sling the

2318
04:40:29.240 --> 04:40:34.080
whole galoot on those mules and pack
it off at once, Very good,

2319
04:40:34.159 --> 04:40:41.720
sir. Into the gloaming, the
long mule train passed, passed, and

2320
04:40:41.959 --> 04:40:48.880
vanished, bearing to Private William Pinkerton
a Christmas dinner abundant enough and to spare

2321
04:40:49.520 --> 04:40:57.240
for all the gluttonous gods feasting in
high olympus. Busy, bloody, mud

2322
04:40:57.360 --> 04:41:04.720
spattered and cursing. They were all
infernally occupied in Triangle Trench. Peace on

2323
04:41:04.880 --> 04:41:12.439
Earth had not spread her soft pinions
there. Ammunition was running short, nasty

2324
04:41:12.759 --> 04:41:19.119
Unchristian things were happening alone. Of
all the little crowd there, Piper mc

2325
04:41:19.279 --> 04:41:26.599
quirk was joyful, complacent, and
overflowing with the proper spirit of Noel.

2326
04:41:27.119 --> 04:41:33.919
Uncle Donald, the most renowned flesher
in Peebles, had come up to the

2327
04:41:33.080 --> 04:41:41.479
scratch nobly the haggas to a dozen
o the heftiest had arrived, and the

2328
04:41:41.639 --> 04:41:48.959
water for their embroilment was already simmering
in a huge pot. A biscuit toss

2329
04:41:48.080 --> 04:41:56.599
behind the red hot glory hole of
triangle trench. Piper mc quirk's rifle was

2330
04:41:56.720 --> 04:42:00.560
so hot that when he put his
cheek to it, he swore it raised

2331
04:42:00.639 --> 04:42:07.599
a blister every time. But he
was happy and tuneful, and chanted snatches

2332
04:42:07.759 --> 04:42:14.639
of his beloved poet between the wiles
of the cooling of his rifle barrel and

2333
04:42:14.919 --> 04:42:22.159
stealthy crawling journeys to where the devil's
cauldron was simmering and smoking. Keeper up

2334
04:42:22.400 --> 04:42:27.159
me, bonny fighters, keep it
up. The kettle's near the boil,

2335
04:42:27.680 --> 04:42:34.479
and it's hellsome fair, and ye'll
be heaven with my bonnie wee haggasses were

2336
04:42:34.560 --> 04:42:41.319
labor soon. We labor late to
feed the titled nave man. And the

2337
04:42:41.479 --> 04:42:52.040
comfort where to get is that a
yond the grave man, another man down

2338
04:42:55.639 --> 04:43:03.319
another What a pile of sandbags collapses
in a smothering whirl of dust and splinters.

2339
04:43:03.799 --> 04:43:10.720
Stick to it, lads, no
wild shooting, mark your man every

2340
04:43:10.840 --> 04:43:17.799
time. Ammunitions too precious to waste. Now it is the cheery voice of

2341
04:43:18.040 --> 04:43:23.360
Captain Crabtree, his face all bloodstained, half his front teeth smashed out,

2342
04:43:25.080 --> 04:43:32.479
but confident, cool and courageous as
ever a blood smothered mudlark, This dandy

2343
04:43:32.599 --> 04:43:37.080
boy now, but all there and
never missing a chance to get one in

2344
04:43:38.360 --> 04:43:45.959
mcquirk where the devil is the man
yes up. The hefty piper of the

2345
04:43:47.159 --> 04:43:53.400
ninety ninth Kilties staggers back into the
trench just as the last cartridge, the

2346
04:43:53.759 --> 04:44:00.200
very last, is fired. He
is carrying the lid of an ammunition box,

2347
04:44:00.919 --> 04:44:07.759
and upon it is piled a steaming
aromatic mass of strange stuff in bulging,

2348
04:44:08.080 --> 04:44:17.159
bubbling little bags. What in the
name of thunder? Captain Crabtree makes

2349
04:44:17.200 --> 04:44:22.720
a grab for his eyeglass and jabs
it under a bloody eyebrow. It's the

2350
04:44:22.799 --> 04:44:30.439
haggar, sir. But before he
could utter another word, an earthquake burst

2351
04:44:30.639 --> 04:44:36.919
under the redoubt of Triangle Trench.
There was a hoarse, triumphant cry of

2352
04:44:37.840 --> 04:44:44.439
gots mittens, and half a dozen
huge saxons appeared in the gap with all

2353
04:44:44.560 --> 04:44:51.759
the lust of conquest shining in their
eager eyes. It was Pinkerton who rallied

2354
04:44:51.919 --> 04:44:59.720
the trusty Triangulars to a last splendid
effort. Another idea had suddenly come to

2355
04:45:00.040 --> 04:45:07.200
him, bombing party. He yelled
up, band at um, follow me.

2356
04:45:07.840 --> 04:45:15.119
He stooped swiftly grabbed one of the
hot bubbly bags from under the astonished

2357
04:45:15.240 --> 04:45:21.639
nose of Piper mcquirk, took swift
aim and heaved it full in the face

2358
04:45:21.919 --> 04:45:27.360
of the nearest hun It struck him
fair and square in the mouth, bursting

2359
04:45:27.520 --> 04:45:34.200
with a loud and meaty block.
With a dreadful howl of fear and anger

2360
04:45:34.319 --> 04:45:41.360
and pain, the giant German flung
up his arms and fell backwards. Another

2361
04:45:41.759 --> 04:45:49.319
and another followed, Each found its
mark, and the fun whilst Uncle Donald's

2362
04:45:49.360 --> 04:45:57.560
haggers lasted, was fast and furious. The route was complete again, had

2363
04:45:57.639 --> 04:46:06.759
British honor been my tained and the
situation saved? And then, amid the

2364
04:46:06.959 --> 04:46:12.000
laughter and the tears of the conquerors, the voice of Captain Crabtree was once

2365
04:46:12.159 --> 04:46:18.159
more heard. It's all right now, my lads. Here comes the mule

2366
04:46:18.279 --> 04:46:26.959
train with the ammunition box. After
box was bundled into the trench. The

2367
04:46:26.159 --> 04:46:33.799
lids of the first was prized open
by Captain Crabtree. Jeff Rusalem, he

2368
04:46:34.040 --> 04:46:40.759
cried, plunging his hand into the
case, and then withdrawing it suddenly,

2369
04:46:41.319 --> 04:46:48.759
as if something had bitten him.
These ain't cartridges, their bally mince pies.

2370
04:46:49.000 --> 04:46:55.560
By jove, you must have made
a little mistake, sir, said

2371
04:46:55.680 --> 04:47:00.840
Pinkerton, coming forward nervously. If
you'll be good enough to look at the

2372
04:47:00.959 --> 04:47:07.720
address on the cases my little Christmas
box, sir to b company, I

2373
04:47:07.840 --> 04:47:15.599
shall be most happy if you will
join. Captain Crabtree burst into a roar

2374
04:47:15.799 --> 04:47:22.400
of laughter. Hell I am,
he said, I should think I jolly

2375
04:47:22.479 --> 04:47:32.040
well will of all this merry company. Only Piper mcquirk was sad. I

2376
04:47:32.360 --> 04:47:37.919
think I'll be gang aout the new
he said, to see if I can

2377
04:47:37.080 --> 04:47:44.159
find one or two of them,
haggass. Maybe they did not all explode.

2378
04:47:45.720 --> 04:47:53.279
That concludes Chapter eighteen of Private Pinkerton
Millionaire and is also the end of

2379
04:47:53.479 --> 04:48:08.279
section nine Section ten of Private Pinkerton
Millionaire by Harold Ashton. This LibriVox recording

2380
04:48:08.520 --> 04:48:18.599
is in the public domain. Chapters
nineteen and twenty. Chapter nineteen lamb Cutlets

2381
04:48:22.080 --> 04:48:26.279
Scent of Spring was in the morning
air. For many days, the skies

2382
04:48:26.400 --> 04:48:33.400
had been gray and heavy, the
night's chell, and the gradually lengthening days

2383
04:48:33.919 --> 04:48:40.720
damp and uncomfortable. But for all
that, there was something, if twas

2384
04:48:40.840 --> 04:48:47.880
no more than the tiniest whisper,
that betokened a relaxation of winter's iron gripe,

2385
04:48:48.680 --> 04:48:53.240
a promise from cloud and stream,
high Heaven and Mother Earth, and

2386
04:48:53.439 --> 04:49:00.639
a new and a wonderful life breathing
again amid the desolation and death of what

2387
04:49:02.040 --> 04:49:10.200
was once fair Flanders. The English
Battery. Major strolled out casually from the

2388
04:49:10.279 --> 04:49:15.240
clump of trees on the little knoll, which stood out as a landmark in

2389
04:49:15.360 --> 04:49:22.200
this flat country for many miles around. The morning mist had cleared far away

2390
04:49:22.279 --> 04:49:27.520
to the left, the ruins of
Epra and the pierced and plundered framework of

2391
04:49:27.599 --> 04:49:34.680
the ancient cloth Hall could be visualized
distinctly. But it was not the dismal

2392
04:49:34.840 --> 04:49:44.240
wreckage of Epra that interested Major Montmorency
on this still clear morning. He was

2393
04:49:44.400 --> 04:49:51.720
no archeologist. He was an artillery
man. He had seen this pathetic picture

2394
04:49:52.240 --> 04:49:59.360
so many times before, and besides, there was other business to occupy his

2395
04:49:59.560 --> 04:50:06.799
mind. He yawned, stretched himself
and then sat down upon a felled tree

2396
04:50:06.880 --> 04:50:11.479
trunk, swinging his legs. There
was not a soul to be seen anywhere

2397
04:50:11.560 --> 04:50:18.680
near him, nor a sound to
be heard. He had mourning and meditation

2398
04:50:18.279 --> 04:50:26.159
all to himself. Idly, he
sat there, swinging his legs, the

2399
04:50:26.360 --> 04:50:30.599
complete embodiment of a man with nothing
to do and the whole day to do

2400
04:50:30.799 --> 04:50:37.799
it in he lit a cigarette.
The air was so still that the smoke

2401
04:50:38.000 --> 04:50:47.360
floated about his head like incense.
Reluctant to depart through it, the meditative

2402
04:50:47.560 --> 04:50:53.119
major gazed dreamily with half veiled eyes
across the valley and far away to the

2403
04:50:53.319 --> 04:51:00.919
right. In the immediate foreground,
the ungarnered harvest of last year lay white

2404
04:51:02.040 --> 04:51:07.680
and rotting. A few fields away, in the very middle of what was

2405
04:51:07.799 --> 04:51:14.720
once an abundant acreage of wheat,
lay a smashed and abandoned reaping machine with

2406
04:51:14.880 --> 04:51:21.479
a dead horse beside it, a
repellent but vivid tribute to the ravages of

2407
04:51:21.639 --> 04:51:26.360
war. At the end of the
wheat field, the rich pasture land began,

2408
04:51:27.080 --> 04:51:33.279
and it was over that refreshing streak
of green that's the artillery Major's dreamy

2409
04:51:33.400 --> 04:51:40.959
eye. Roved, dwarfed, and
stunted trees marked the extreme edge of the

2410
04:51:41.159 --> 04:51:48.119
landscape. Here something else was there
too. It might be a scattering of

2411
04:51:48.319 --> 04:51:56.040
small huts or haystacks. I could
have sworn they weren't there yesterday, muttered

2412
04:51:56.080 --> 04:52:00.680
the Major to himself. And as
he stared at the he fancied he saw

2413
04:52:00.840 --> 04:52:07.720
something flash in the beams of the
morning sun. But it was only for

2414
04:52:07.919 --> 04:52:14.840
an instant. He unslung his field
glasses and had a long, steady look

2415
04:52:15.080 --> 04:52:19.959
at the puzzle. Nothing more could
he make of it. But as he

2416
04:52:21.119 --> 04:52:26.080
gazed, holding his breath to steady
his vision, he made out a speck

2417
04:52:26.400 --> 04:52:32.400
moving out of the shadow of the
trees, and moving in his direction.

2418
04:52:33.040 --> 04:52:41.439
Nearer and nearer it came. Its
materialized presently into the figure of an old

2419
04:52:41.560 --> 04:52:48.479
man with a long white beard,
carrying something in his arms. Major Montmorency

2420
04:52:48.880 --> 04:52:56.200
lit his fourth cigarette and waited for
the old man to come up. Monsieur,

2421
04:52:57.080 --> 04:53:02.880
said the aged gentleman, bowing low
before the quiet figure on the tree

2422
04:53:02.959 --> 04:53:08.880
trunk. I come to crave a
boon, Well, father Christmas, and

2423
04:53:10.159 --> 04:53:15.680
what is it this time? The
brave English Monsieur, I ever considerate top

2424
04:53:15.759 --> 04:53:23.000
tender things, be generous as you
are brave, if you will kindly cut

2425
04:53:23.080 --> 04:53:29.720
the blather and come to the boon. Methusilah, I shall be grateful and

2426
04:53:30.080 --> 04:53:36.360
much more likely to confer the benediction
else with it. Time is short,

2427
04:53:36.560 --> 04:53:41.080
and if we go in for polite
conversations, we are liable to be interrupted.

2428
04:53:42.279 --> 04:53:47.479
It is a small thing, I
ask, monsieur, I come from

2429
04:53:47.560 --> 04:53:53.400
that distant belt of trees, wherein
is contained all that I possess my small

2430
04:53:53.479 --> 04:54:00.680
flock of sheep. It is their
nursery among those trees, under the rough

2431
04:54:00.840 --> 04:54:07.959
thatch they lie. Many of them
are about to become mothers. Some are

2432
04:54:07.080 --> 04:54:15.080
already suckling their tiny offspring. See. I bring you one as a tribute.

2433
04:54:15.560 --> 04:54:22.000
He sat down upon the ground the
bundle he had been carrying, laid

2434
04:54:22.040 --> 04:54:26.880
it tenderly at the feet of the
artillery major, and opened it. A

2435
04:54:27.080 --> 04:54:34.360
small white lamb lay within the folds. Monsieur, the old shepherd went on.

2436
04:54:36.639 --> 04:54:44.200
The English guns lie in that small
woods behind us. Major Montmorency said

2437
04:54:44.319 --> 04:54:49.360
nothing, but the lines of his
mouth suddenly hardened, and a different look

2438
04:54:49.720 --> 04:54:56.279
came into his smoldering eye. And
there is just a chance, Monsieur,

2439
04:54:56.360 --> 04:55:02.240
I am an old old man,
and I may never see the sunshine of

2440
04:55:02.360 --> 04:55:07.520
another spring. Again, I say
it. It is a small kindness,

2441
04:55:08.240 --> 04:55:15.840
a little thing. Spare my lambs. I will see to it, said

2442
04:55:15.919 --> 04:55:22.439
the Major curtly, for he was
no more sentimental less than he was archaeologist.

2443
04:55:22.959 --> 04:55:27.520
Take your tribute away with you.
I don't want it. Take it

2444
04:55:27.720 --> 04:55:34.680
back to its mammy, and begone. Ten thousand thanks, monsieur. And

2445
04:55:36.000 --> 04:55:41.919
the old gentleman with the long white
whiskers picked up his bundle and departed.

2446
04:55:42.319 --> 04:55:51.720
Methinks, said the Major softly to
himself. Methinks my shepherd doth protest too

2447
04:55:51.919 --> 04:55:56.040
much. And he turned and entered
the little Word, where lay the big

2448
04:55:56.159 --> 04:56:03.959
guns of ex battery, so cunningly
concealed that they were as invisible to the

2449
04:56:03.080 --> 04:56:11.319
casual visitor as a skulking woodcock amid
the thorn. And I wonder. The

2450
04:56:11.560 --> 04:56:18.840
Major tore open another packet of woodbines. I wonder, said he, how

2451
04:56:18.919 --> 04:56:26.639
that dwight whiskered old reprobate knew our
guns were here? Well, said Major

2452
04:56:26.759 --> 04:56:32.919
Montmorency, who had been taking a
stroll down towards the lines, worried a

2453
04:56:33.000 --> 04:56:38.520
good deal on the subject of his
beloved guns. Well, nothing doing,

2454
04:56:38.959 --> 04:56:48.759
my diamond studded, plutocratic embossed Private
Soldier, No nothing, monty old son,

2455
04:56:48.439 --> 04:56:56.639
replied Private Pinkerton, who felt rusty
and very much bored. I'm thinking

2456
04:56:56.720 --> 04:57:03.240
about starting a hun's Mutual Improvement and
Encouragement Society. Anything to lure him on

2457
04:57:03.560 --> 04:57:12.439
the beggars Satan finds some mischief,
still quoted the major, But you'd better

2458
04:57:12.599 --> 04:57:18.319
postpone your kindergarten class. I've got
a little job for you, should you

2459
04:57:18.479 --> 04:57:25.720
happen to be moved by the spirit
of adventure. Over there, he jerked

2460
04:57:25.799 --> 04:57:30.840
a casual thumb in the direction of
the distant belt of trees, there is

2461
04:57:30.880 --> 04:57:37.400
an innocent little sheepfold a lambing crash, to be precise, full of plump

2462
04:57:37.759 --> 04:57:45.880
young bleaters, which I want exploring
with care and circumspection. Take a very

2463
04:57:47.000 --> 04:57:52.680
careful pee, put the sweet little
nursery, and report to me everything you

2464
04:57:52.919 --> 04:58:02.040
see. And here that's all,
and to night's the night writer responded Pinkerton.

2465
04:58:02.959 --> 04:58:08.240
I'm game any old thing, from
sheep to sausages. And by the

2466
04:58:08.360 --> 04:58:15.360
way, should your suspicions be aroused
by what you see, remember if you

2467
04:58:15.520 --> 04:58:22.159
meet an old gentleman with white whiskers
waving in the wind, give him either

2468
04:58:22.279 --> 04:58:29.680
a wide berth or a free pass. To Jordan's hospitable shore. Wear whiskers

2469
04:58:30.240 --> 04:58:36.200
and keep your eye skinned. The
night, as the day had been,

2470
04:58:36.720 --> 04:58:42.680
was peaceful and warm when Private Pinkerton
and Private Pickles set out on their long

2471
04:58:44.000 --> 04:58:51.680
lone track adown the valley. Pinkerton
had chosen Pickles as a companion for company

2472
04:58:52.680 --> 04:58:56.439
two. Pickles, who had been
in his free and splendid youth, a

2473
04:58:56.599 --> 04:59:03.200
boy scout with Hamstead Heath for the
exercise of his craft. The job was

2474
04:59:03.279 --> 04:59:08.159
a game to his own heart.
He armed himself with a couple of roomy

2475
04:59:08.319 --> 04:59:15.799
sacks. What in the world are
they for disguise, asked Pinkie, who

2476
04:59:15.919 --> 04:59:23.200
knew the lad's weakness or anything?
Theatrical no, replied the lad, for

2477
04:59:23.479 --> 04:59:32.840
loot, possibility of lamb cutlets for
breakfast and mint sauce. I've told the

2478
04:59:32.959 --> 04:59:37.759
boys, and their mouths don't afterward, Neiva. They've promised to keep the

2479
04:59:37.919 --> 04:59:45.840
ome fires burning while wear away on
the giddy jaunt. The journey for once

2480
04:59:45.319 --> 04:59:52.119
was completely uneventful. Not a whisker
could be seen waving in the breeze,

2481
04:59:52.080 --> 04:59:56.720
and when the pair at last reached
the shadow of the trees, there was

2482
04:59:56.880 --> 05:00:03.720
never a sound to be heard.
The two were lying flat side by side.

2483
05:00:04.720 --> 05:00:11.799
The ex boy scout cautiously raised his
head, the wind being favorable for

2484
05:00:11.000 --> 05:00:18.319
his experiment, and sniffed a long, long drawn sniff. I can smell

2485
05:00:18.520 --> 05:00:26.840
something, muttered Pickles. But it
ain't sheep. It's more more like the

2486
05:00:26.959 --> 05:00:33.840
receiver and ward. At Oxton Workhouse
on a hot Saturday night, a uman

2487
05:00:33.000 --> 05:00:40.599
sawt of Haroma. But if there
are any sheep there which I missed out,

2488
05:00:41.439 --> 05:00:48.840
I guess this will fetch him.
And the highly imaginative mister Pickles raised

2489
05:00:48.000 --> 05:00:56.040
his rough head once again and admitted
a horse and quavering bah. There was

2490
05:00:56.200 --> 05:01:03.240
no response from the stilly, mysterious
fold. But there as the moon cast

2491
05:01:03.400 --> 05:01:10.360
her fitful gleam upon the peaceful landscape, there were the little huts sure enough

2492
05:01:11.080 --> 05:01:19.240
roughly thatched. To make sure,
murmured mister Pickles. I'll just worm along

2493
05:01:19.680 --> 05:01:27.360
and make a close investigation. And, with nature's aid abundantly at hand to

2494
05:01:27.479 --> 05:01:33.799
assist him, he disguised himself with
incredible swiftness as a shock of corn,

2495
05:01:34.560 --> 05:01:41.880
and vanished into the night. Presently, the shock of corn returned trembling in

2496
05:01:42.000 --> 05:01:48.200
every year, though there was no
wind to account for this. Remarkable palsy

2497
05:01:48.360 --> 05:01:57.799
well said Pinkerton, any luck,
any loots, any lambkins, No whispered

2498
05:01:57.880 --> 05:02:03.159
the shaking shock of corn, never
so much as the waggle of a tail.

2499
05:02:04.119 --> 05:02:12.840
But guns, guns, German guns, My sacred aunt, scores of

2500
05:02:12.959 --> 05:02:19.439
them. Oh hoh, said Pinkerton. That's their little game, is it?

2501
05:02:21.680 --> 05:02:26.319
Back back to the filter, my
subtle microbe back for your life.

2502
05:02:29.240 --> 05:02:33.439
In the light of the early morning, the battery major was still astride the

2503
05:02:33.639 --> 05:02:41.319
fallen tree beyond the wood. He
was still smoking a spluttering woodbine as he

2504
05:02:41.479 --> 05:02:47.680
talked quietly into the receiver of a
little portable telephone, the bright copper wire

2505
05:02:47.759 --> 05:02:53.279
of which trialed out over his shoulder
like a golden thread and vanished into the

2506
05:02:53.439 --> 05:03:03.520
cops Range six thousand. Got it
right, then let her rip, and

2507
05:03:03.919 --> 05:03:11.720
suddenly the little wood burst into a
mighty roar. Just in time, chuckled

2508
05:03:11.840 --> 05:03:18.680
Monty to himself as he watched through
his glasses the shattering havoc commit the distant

2509
05:03:18.759 --> 05:03:26.959
sheepfold. Another ten minutes and they'd
have had us. But I guess we've

2510
05:03:26.040 --> 05:03:34.240
upset their apple cart this trip.
But the boys behind were sad and hungry,

2511
05:03:34.919 --> 05:03:44.400
cursing private pickles and sarcastic towards Pinkerton
and then cutlets. What about um,

2512
05:03:45.240 --> 05:03:52.759
asked the ravenous mcquirk. Enough and
to spare across there, replied Pinkie,

2513
05:03:52.599 --> 05:03:57.200
if you have a mind to go
and fetch'em, and if you're bloom

2514
05:03:57.279 --> 05:04:07.959
and cannibals. That concludes chapter nineteen
of Private Pinkerton Millionaire. The section continues

2515
05:04:08.080 --> 05:04:18.000
with chapter twenty Gold Gothar. Like
a ferret emerging from a rabbit hole,

2516
05:04:18.560 --> 05:04:23.439
the sapper crawled out of his burrow, blinking stupidly in the unwonted glare of

2517
05:04:23.520 --> 05:04:30.279
the sun. His face was gray, haggard and bearded. His clothes,

2518
05:04:30.840 --> 05:04:37.080
what there were of them, were
indescribably foul. He looked like a later

2519
05:04:37.240 --> 05:04:44.799
arrival, a corpse which had overslept
itself of the resurrection. With the last

2520
05:04:45.040 --> 05:04:52.040
trump long since sounded, and the
remainder of his companions translated each to his

2521
05:04:52.159 --> 05:04:59.159
appointed sphere, he saw men as
trees walking. He had arisen from an

2522
05:04:59.240 --> 05:05:04.279
underworld of haggard nightmare, only to
find himself in a land of dreams.

2523
05:05:06.639 --> 05:05:11.439
With difficulty, he found his voice. His speech was hoarse and thick,

2524
05:05:12.000 --> 05:05:18.360
a sort of goblin whisper, but
the words which came were unmistakably British,

2525
05:05:18.959 --> 05:05:26.880
and to the point, we've got
the blighters this time, growled the goblin.

2526
05:05:26.959 --> 05:05:33.560
Hold tight and lookout, boys,
what oh for the expletive resurrection?

2527
05:05:36.119 --> 05:05:41.520
Where have you come from? Asked
Pinkerton, thanking his stars as he gazed

2528
05:05:41.639 --> 05:05:47.840
upon this patched and smothered ragbag of
a man. That he hadn't been born

2529
05:05:47.959 --> 05:05:55.599
an engineer from underneath the ever last
and dead, replied the sapper, bearing

2530
05:05:55.680 --> 05:06:00.959
a yellow tooth in a gruesome twist
of the lip. Were no doubt,

2531
05:06:00.400 --> 05:06:07.319
he intended for a pleasant smile,
and then along a pitch black mole run

2532
05:06:07.720 --> 05:06:15.200
for about an hundred thousand miles from
where the rude forefathers of the Amlets sleep

2533
05:06:15.560 --> 05:06:21.200
to air. It's been an ele
of a job mining that churchyard, with

2534
05:06:21.360 --> 05:06:26.040
the other swines counter mining, and
both of us bumping heads in the dark.

2535
05:06:27.240 --> 05:06:33.720
But it's done at last, thank
Gold. And now it's your turn,

2536
05:06:34.159 --> 05:06:40.560
me tough and wiries, to trot
along and sweep up the almighty mess

2537
05:06:41.599 --> 05:06:48.840
of the fireworks have gone off.
When Gabriel blows his penny trumpet and the

2538
05:06:48.000 --> 05:06:55.680
pop gun goes bang, it's up
Guards and Adam, and I wish you

2539
05:06:56.119 --> 05:07:03.000
joy of the circus got any grub. Pinkerton fished out a slab of chocolate

2540
05:07:03.560 --> 05:07:11.720
and offered it to the famished girl, who shook his head and growled chocolate,

2541
05:07:11.560 --> 05:07:17.520
He said, bitterly, hasn't the
British Army got anything else? And

2542
05:07:17.799 --> 05:07:22.479
chocolate on its bloom and mean eue? I've been livin on nothing else than

2543
05:07:22.680 --> 05:07:29.959
chocolate creams and seedy cake for the
past week. Hadn't you got anything?

2544
05:07:30.119 --> 05:07:36.880
I can fasten me teeth into one
by one, and each more disreputable,

2545
05:07:37.360 --> 05:07:41.880
if that were possible, than the
other. The remainder of the goblins climbed

2546
05:07:41.919 --> 05:07:48.159
out of the hole. The last
one was unwinding a coil of copper wire,

2547
05:07:48.880 --> 05:07:52.759
and as he emerged into the daylight, he fixed a little instrument to

2548
05:07:52.959 --> 05:07:59.200
it, with a button switch attached, very much like the switch of an

2549
05:07:59.319 --> 05:08:04.880
ordinary electric light. He sat down
outside the hole, dangling the toy on

2550
05:08:06.080 --> 05:08:12.360
his knee as a mother would nurse
her tiny child, or Claire said.

2551
05:08:12.439 --> 05:08:18.319
He and the rest of his comrades, having finished their job, crawled away

2552
05:08:18.479 --> 05:08:25.240
to sleep or to smoke. As
the spirits moved them. They were utterly

2553
05:08:25.400 --> 05:08:30.639
unconcerned in what was to follow.
They had carried out their orders. It

2554
05:08:32.040 --> 05:08:38.240
was enough. A message was dispatched
to headquarters to the effect that the train

2555
05:08:38.479 --> 05:08:45.319
was laid just a word over the
wire, that was all. Another word

2556
05:08:45.560 --> 05:08:52.759
trembled along the line. The men
in the forward trench, and this included

2557
05:08:52.919 --> 05:08:57.880
all who were left a private Pinkerton's
company, were to hold themselves in readiness

2558
05:08:59.200 --> 05:09:03.720
for the spring of the mine,
then to rush the churchyard and take it

2559
05:09:04.080 --> 05:09:11.240
at all costs. This place of
tombs had been a thorn in our side

2560
05:09:11.400 --> 05:09:18.479
long enough. Somehow the thorn had
to be removed. There were German guns

2561
05:09:18.639 --> 05:09:25.279
repeatedly snarling from behind the tombstones,
and there were guns and still more guns

2562
05:09:25.680 --> 05:09:32.319
hidden among the ruins of the church
itself. A new and a nasty game,

2563
05:09:32.599 --> 05:09:38.479
this body snatching, growled Sergeant Major
Singleton. I don't like it doing

2564
05:09:38.560 --> 05:09:45.959
the burke and hair business at my
time of life. But however, glory

2565
05:09:45.159 --> 05:09:52.240
allelujah, there she goes, boys. And as he spoke, the churchyard

2566
05:09:52.360 --> 05:09:59.880
of x and apparently the greater part
of its population, living and dead,

2567
05:10:00.759 --> 05:10:04.080
rose like a wave in the sea, and broke like the crest of it.

2568
05:10:06.200 --> 05:10:11.400
A tongue of livid flame flickered for
an instant over the wreck, and

2569
05:10:11.639 --> 05:10:17.840
in an outpouring of mephitic smoke,
whilst distant thunder rumbled. All for the

2570
05:10:18.000 --> 05:10:25.919
time was obscured into the blinding,
bewildering paul and under the very crash of

2571
05:10:26.040 --> 05:10:32.319
the last few shells from our own
obedient batteries far away. Our men ran,

2572
05:10:33.119 --> 05:10:37.759
scarce knowing what they did or where
they were going, half blinded by

2573
05:10:37.799 --> 05:10:47.040
the clinging black smoke, stifled by
the unholy fumes. It was nightmare business,

2574
05:10:47.639 --> 05:10:53.159
grim and horrible, an adventure such
as one undertakes at demon bidding in

2575
05:10:53.240 --> 05:11:00.959
a wild dream, under the glare
of a moon blood red. Aghast at

2576
05:11:00.080 --> 05:11:07.759
his occupation, Pinkerton stumbled along with
the rest to find himself fighting with them

2577
05:11:07.240 --> 05:11:12.439
in an obscene fog which he not
only felt, but which he could smell.

2578
05:11:15.000 --> 05:11:22.520
Old Man Singleton was still by his
side, said he and us up

2579
05:11:22.599 --> 05:11:29.479
to us to clear up this unoly
mess. A battalion of archangels with commissions

2580
05:11:29.560 --> 05:11:33.000
as crossing sweepers who had had their
work cut out to do the job,

2581
05:11:34.040 --> 05:11:41.639
and only snakes. Look. They
were in the middle of the burial ground.

2582
05:11:41.880 --> 05:11:48.159
Now, the awful wreckage of it
was past all description. The dead

2583
05:11:48.279 --> 05:11:53.919
of the past and the present dead
were here. In silent and dreadful fellowship.

2584
05:11:56.080 --> 05:12:02.560
Great gray rats were leaping and scurrying
among them mounds. One of them

2585
05:12:02.720 --> 05:12:10.840
sat defiant and beastly upon a leaning
tombstone, more hideous than any gargoyle fashioned

2586
05:12:10.880 --> 05:12:18.040
by human hands. Worse still,
it was alive and fierce. And at

2587
05:12:18.159 --> 05:12:23.799
bay that for you, foul fiend, yelled the old man, as he

2588
05:12:23.959 --> 05:12:30.360
heaved a lump of rubble at the
beast. The old gray rat crouched,

2589
05:12:30.639 --> 05:12:36.840
but moved no more than that,
and the missile passed over it. But

2590
05:12:37.279 --> 05:12:41.799
there was still work to be done
in this ghastly Golgotha. Though there was

2591
05:12:41.840 --> 05:12:48.400
a great yawning crater, fringed and
piled with nameless things, in the middle

2592
05:12:48.479 --> 05:12:53.360
of the churchyard, one corner of
it had escaped the eruption, and this

2593
05:12:53.880 --> 05:13:00.680
the few Germans who remained alive still
held. Machine gun was concealed here,

2594
05:13:02.240 --> 05:13:07.080
and the first onset of the leaping
Khaki figures was held up by its stuttering,

2595
05:13:07.319 --> 05:13:15.040
malignant fire. A dozen men were
swept down and lay some still,

2596
05:13:15.840 --> 05:13:22.919
some writhing. Then mercifully the belt
of the gun jammed, and the skulking

2597
05:13:22.040 --> 05:13:27.200
Germans had to come out and make
a fair fight of it hand to hand.

2598
05:13:29.680 --> 05:13:34.000
They fought well and desperately, for
they were all big men and lusty.

2599
05:13:36.119 --> 05:13:40.159
Their backs were to the churchyard wall, or what remained of it.

2600
05:13:41.080 --> 05:13:45.720
And when the smoke and the dust
cleared, they found that in the matter

2601
05:13:45.840 --> 05:13:52.000
of numbers, they and their opponents
were well matched. A huge hun singled

2602
05:13:52.040 --> 05:13:59.799
out mcquirk. Come on, Scottie, he shouted, there'd be graves wide

2603
05:13:59.799 --> 05:14:04.040
and for both of us in this
kirkyard. Lay on, lay on McDuff.

2604
05:14:06.159 --> 05:14:10.319
Yeah, fresh Scotland, maybe,
cried the piper, not a little

2605
05:14:10.439 --> 05:14:17.040
surprised at the talk of the man, A laddie frum dundee. And it's

2606
05:14:17.119 --> 05:14:22.919
pleased I'll be getting back there after
the war that ye'll never do, or

2607
05:14:22.959 --> 05:14:30.479
I'll know the reason why. Board
the hefty scott and in one great leaping

2608
05:14:30.599 --> 05:14:36.680
stride he was up to him with
a mighty bayonet thrust. The German,

2609
05:14:37.000 --> 05:14:44.520
who was similarly armed, parried the
thrust deftly and easily. His guard right

2610
05:14:44.759 --> 05:14:51.840
and left was clean and effective thrust. For thrust too, he gave until

2611
05:14:52.000 --> 05:14:59.520
mcquirk, pride of the fighting ninety
ninth in artistic bayonet exercise, found himself,

2612
05:15:00.040 --> 05:15:06.360
much to his disgust, matched and
equalled. At last the German was

2613
05:15:06.520 --> 05:15:11.159
up to every move, and was
evidently bent on tiring his opponent, who

2614
05:15:11.319 --> 05:15:18.680
was already breathing hard, but more
out of anger than weariness. At last,

2615
05:15:18.919 --> 05:15:26.560
the German, tiring himself, tried
another game. Look out man,

2616
05:15:26.200 --> 05:15:33.880
he sheltered, Suddenly, look behind
you. For an instant mcquirk was flung

2617
05:15:33.040 --> 05:15:40.080
off his guard. He glanced over
his shoulder, but at that very moment

2618
05:15:40.560 --> 05:15:45.959
he knew he felt, rather than
saw, the big German gathering himself for

2619
05:15:47.119 --> 05:15:52.799
the supreme effort, And as he
lunged, the Scot flung himself backwards.

2620
05:15:52.959 --> 05:15:59.840
His opponent, missing his stroke,
wasted his death jab upon the unresisting air,

2621
05:16:00.520 --> 05:16:04.560
and by the impetus of his own
furious thrust, fell sprawling upon the

2622
05:16:04.680 --> 05:16:11.200
body of mcquirk, who, gripping
him in a mighty bear hug, swung

2623
05:16:11.319 --> 05:16:15.840
him over in the old wrestling role, and so got the hold of upper

2624
05:16:15.959 --> 05:16:22.680
dog. Thus they fought literally tooth
and nail, gasping, plunging, and

2625
05:16:22.919 --> 05:16:30.919
thudding amid the churchyard shambles. Good
at Baan at work, the Scot was

2626
05:16:30.040 --> 05:16:37.400
perhaps better at the wrestling. He
groped, panting for the half Nelson twice

2627
05:16:38.000 --> 05:16:44.520
thrice. He was within an ace
of accomplishing that paralyzing lock, but the

2628
05:16:44.680 --> 05:16:51.360
German an adept too At this Saxon
Sport held his own with grim determination,

2629
05:16:52.319 --> 05:16:59.880
using his immense strength sparingly ach He
cried once, and mcquirk, in the

2630
05:17:00.119 --> 05:17:06.439
midst of his heaving labor, heard
the muscle's crack. Now was the supreme

2631
05:17:06.560 --> 05:17:11.200
moment. With his right hand gripped
on the left wrist, he shifted his

2632
05:17:11.360 --> 05:17:18.959
bulk warily and inch by inch for
the final wrench. But at the instant

2633
05:17:19.040 --> 05:17:25.599
of its accomplishment, his foot slipped
on the greasy ground, and his alert

2634
05:17:25.680 --> 05:17:33.720
opponent saw his chance. By a
sudden leverage of shoulders and thighs inaccurate and

2635
05:17:33.000 --> 05:17:40.840
harmonious combination, the giant German brought
off the coup he had been so patiently

2636
05:17:41.000 --> 05:17:48.680
waiting and watching for. Mcquirk.
To his utter amaze, found himself flung

2637
05:17:48.840 --> 05:17:53.520
high in the air, heels overhead. He fell on a flat tombstone,

2638
05:17:55.159 --> 05:18:00.240
and at the smash of his fall, every atom of breath was hammered out

2639
05:18:00.319 --> 05:18:06.599
of his bruised and battered body.
The German rose, staggered, drunkenly,

2640
05:18:07.360 --> 05:18:12.520
tottered a few steps forward, and
collapsed across the prostrate bulk of the winded

2641
05:18:12.680 --> 05:18:19.439
piper. When at last they came
to themselves again, the fight had swept

2642
05:18:19.599 --> 05:18:26.479
clear of the churchyard to another quarter, and they were alone, the only

2643
05:18:26.599 --> 05:18:33.680
two living men in this blasted devil's
acre. They sat up, facing one

2644
05:18:33.720 --> 05:18:40.400
another and blinking. You're my prisoner, said the German, wiping the filth

2645
05:18:40.599 --> 05:18:47.119
out of his eyes and mouth.
And your mine, declared mcquirk, breathing

2646
05:18:47.279 --> 05:18:53.119
hard and fierce. Neither had strength
to seize the other. Neither had an

2647
05:18:53.159 --> 05:18:59.840
ounce of fight left or spirits to
contest the point, which, in the

2648
05:19:00.119 --> 05:19:04.560
matter of sheer argument, the German
might have won, being a logician by

2649
05:19:04.639 --> 05:19:12.880
temperament and only a fighter by necessity. So they decided to tossperate. They

2650
05:19:12.959 --> 05:19:18.680
had only one coin between them,
and that was a crooked sixpence, the

2651
05:19:18.840 --> 05:19:26.759
treasured property of mcquirk. The coin, spun high in the air, fell

2652
05:19:26.959 --> 05:19:34.599
in a crevice, and was never
seen again. That concludes Chapter twenty of

2653
05:19:34.919 --> 05:19:48.240
Private Pinkerton Millionaire, and is also
the end of section ten Section eleven of

2654
05:19:48.520 --> 05:19:56.360
Private Pinkerton Millionaire by Harold Ashton.
This LibriVox recording is in the public domain.

2655
05:19:56.880 --> 05:20:03.799
Chapters twenty one, twenty two and
twenty three, Chapter twenty one,

2656
05:20:04.759 --> 05:20:12.439
Death and Glory. On the night
of the Great Push, pitiless cataracts of

2657
05:20:12.680 --> 05:20:22.279
rain, drenched and drenched again the
British Army Pinkerton's trench was kneedy, pin

2658
05:20:22.479 --> 05:20:30.840
thick and evil smelling ooze. The
carefully cherished furniture and household utensils in Captain

2659
05:20:30.959 --> 05:20:37.599
Crabtree's dugout were half of them afloat
and half sunk fathoms deep, so that

2660
05:20:37.880 --> 05:20:45.520
Captain crabtree servant diving for his master's
famous frying pan, was all but drowned

2661
05:20:45.919 --> 05:20:56.000
in his unfruitful search for that invaluable
of jet de Dejannay. Captain Crabtree hauled

2662
05:20:56.080 --> 05:21:03.119
him out of the quag by his
heels. Unfortunately for me, he said,

2663
05:21:03.040 --> 05:21:08.720
they do not award the Bronze Medal
of the Royal Humane Society for acts

2664
05:21:08.759 --> 05:21:18.119
of conspicuous valor in this campaign.
Otherwise, but what about my breakfast,

2665
05:21:18.240 --> 05:21:23.959
Smithers, I object to fighting upon
an empty stomach, and this, being

2666
05:21:25.159 --> 05:21:30.240
Thursday, is eggs and bacon day. Oh Smithers, Yes, Sir,

2667
05:21:32.400 --> 05:21:38.360
spluttered Private Smithers, shaking himself like
a half drowned terrier. And some of

2668
05:21:38.439 --> 05:21:45.919
our friends across the way are actually
heaven rides sausages for breakfast. I can

2669
05:21:47.080 --> 05:21:55.240
smell em again to the breach Valiant
Smithers for the salving of our submerged pan.

2670
05:21:56.959 --> 05:22:02.680
Smithers, who was a bit of
a wag let fly a tremendous sneeze

2671
05:22:03.439 --> 05:22:10.159
which burst like shrapnel round about him. BEG pardon, sir, says he.

2672
05:22:11.360 --> 05:22:15.959
But don't you think we might try
fishin' for it, Sir rasha on

2673
05:22:17.040 --> 05:22:23.080
a bent pin, Sir might get
a rise that way. Captain Crabtree laughed,

2674
05:22:23.560 --> 05:22:29.680
as he always did. That's the
pleasantries of his men, being a

2675
05:22:29.840 --> 05:22:37.240
good humored young gentleman, and therefore
immensely popular with the crowd. I'm afraid

2676
05:22:37.520 --> 05:22:42.880
it wouldn't be much good, Smithers, he said, gravely. Fryin pans

2677
05:22:42.959 --> 05:22:49.959
aren't risin' to that lure just now, And besides, there's other fish to

2678
05:22:51.080 --> 05:22:59.119
fry. Or I'm very much mistaken. Captain Crabtree was right, that's that

2679
05:22:59.439 --> 05:23:07.919
very moment came the warning cry on
smoke helmets. Thought I was correct,

2680
05:23:08.919 --> 05:23:15.479
muttered the young captain. They're turning
on the gas now, my merry goblins,

2681
05:23:15.560 --> 05:23:22.200
all on with the mask every mother's
son of you, and let joy

2682
05:23:22.560 --> 05:23:27.880
be unconfined. There was a rush, and they scrambling amid the slush,

2683
05:23:30.040 --> 05:23:36.080
in pale streaks of amber and pearl. Dawn was heralding her awakening in the

2684
05:23:36.240 --> 05:23:41.479
cold and sullen Eastern sky. But
there was no glamor in the picture.

2685
05:23:42.720 --> 05:23:48.119
The sodden earth seemed to sob under
the mournful dirge of the wind, which

2686
05:23:48.279 --> 05:23:53.639
carried to our mud bound worthies in
the British trenches. None of the sweet

2687
05:23:53.720 --> 05:24:00.680
things that the early morning ought to
bring, but the pale of death,

2688
05:24:00.560 --> 05:24:08.400
the sickening scent of decay. It
carried also in a slow moving haze,

2689
05:24:10.159 --> 05:24:15.479
yellow and thick like a London fog, the German gas cloud, the cloud

2690
05:24:15.799 --> 05:24:22.799
of death. Beating, beating,
were the wings of the morning, but

2691
05:24:22.200 --> 05:24:26.799
there was a knell in the sound
of them. They were the carrying pinions

2692
05:24:27.240 --> 05:24:36.040
of the ass Bogel. The wind
was shifty and uncertain, new favoring us

2693
05:24:36.720 --> 05:24:45.159
and new friendly to the poison laden
gas bags of the Germans. Lamplighters orward

2694
05:24:45.439 --> 05:24:51.520
that was our cry, And amid
the wine of the bullets and the snile

2695
05:24:51.599 --> 05:25:00.080
of shell, our lamplighters switched our
own gason. There was much confusion in

2696
05:25:00.159 --> 05:25:04.159
the early glimmer, and not a
little doubt as to what would happen in

2697
05:25:04.279 --> 05:25:11.479
our forward trenchers. For here were
assembled, all excited and a throb many

2698
05:25:11.639 --> 05:25:19.479
hundreds of our London terriers, the
Saturday night soldiers, who have been more

2699
05:25:19.560 --> 05:25:26.279
often than not laughed at as such? Would these clerks, shop boys,

2700
05:25:26.720 --> 05:25:34.639
warehousemen, drapers, butchers, bakers
and candlestick makers, aye, and even

2701
05:25:34.799 --> 05:25:44.479
tailors stand it? That was the
question. Captain Crabtree, from his observation

2702
05:25:44.680 --> 05:25:49.200
posts at the sap Head, thought
he detected some sign of wavering in the

2703
05:25:49.360 --> 05:25:56.080
ranks. What do you make of
them? Pinky? Said he to our

2704
05:25:56.240 --> 05:26:03.080
mud plastered hero full of bean,
Sir promptly replied Private Pinkerton. I'm not

2705
05:26:03.240 --> 05:26:10.959
so sure, muttered the Captain,
shaking his head, now hideously masked against

2706
05:26:11.080 --> 05:26:18.400
asphyxiation. And look at the blasted
fog rollin up to m London particular,

2707
05:26:18.520 --> 05:26:26.279
Sir said Pinkie. It's their element, just like home. Better leave'm to

2708
05:26:26.439 --> 05:26:38.759
it, sir. Then the British
big guns began their Vulgnerian overture. The

2709
05:26:38.959 --> 05:26:47.520
distant batteries of the Germans replied,
and their shells came loping overhead, phew,

2710
05:26:48.720 --> 05:26:57.360
phew, phew. Round and about
they burst, sometimes with a shattering

2711
05:26:57.560 --> 05:27:03.959
roar, and sometimes with a hideous
squelching noise when they plugged into the mud

2712
05:27:04.200 --> 05:27:11.279
and the slime. Thus the battle
opened in the dim half light, crepuscular

2713
05:27:11.520 --> 05:27:19.119
and uncanny. For well nigh an
hour the duel raged and roared. Suddenly

2714
05:27:19.279 --> 05:27:26.400
came the longer waited for lull.
The whistle squealed like the distant screech of

2715
05:27:26.479 --> 05:27:33.639
a bo'sun's pipe, squealed for the
charge. But the Prentice boys of London

2716
05:27:33.959 --> 05:27:41.680
still wavered, or seemed to waver
in the increasing rack of vapor. Then

2717
05:27:41.759 --> 05:27:48.000
it was that Piper mcquirk tore off
his goblin visor, utterly, heedless of

2718
05:27:48.119 --> 05:27:55.279
all the gasometers of Germany, clapped
his chanter to his lips, took a

2719
05:27:55.479 --> 05:28:00.919
mighty breath of poison fumes enough to
choke a dozen men, and let out

2720
05:28:02.000 --> 05:28:07.560
with the campbells are coming, Hurrah, Hurrah. And so he played,

2721
05:28:08.040 --> 05:28:14.319
this great and brave piper, marching
up and down the crest of the trench,

2722
05:28:14.959 --> 05:28:21.520
heedless of the bullets that sang round
him like wasps, heedless and unharmed.

2723
05:28:22.919 --> 05:28:29.279
It was a sight for the gods. A rattling cheer went up down,

2724
05:28:29.439 --> 05:28:33.880
you damned fool of a highlander,
roared a voice, and down in

2725
05:28:33.959 --> 05:28:40.959
the mud rolled the giant piper,
and the music of his pipes trailed off

2726
05:28:41.119 --> 05:28:47.040
into a whining sort of dirge for
all the world, like the last expiring

2727
05:28:47.240 --> 05:28:55.279
squeak of that once famous penny toy, the dying pig bully former Quirk.

2728
05:28:56.040 --> 05:29:00.360
Twas no chance bullet of the hun
that smote him down, but the leaping

2729
05:29:00.560 --> 05:29:07.599
charge of our own boys, the
Saturday night soldiers from London Town. And

2730
05:29:07.880 --> 05:29:12.919
at the head of them ran,
or rather floundered through the mud, a

2731
05:29:14.119 --> 05:29:19.919
bande legged little tailor from Poplar,
with his needle fixed, and that needle

2732
05:29:21.240 --> 05:29:29.119
a well vassolined bayonet. For the
first time, Shirley in our Island story,

2733
05:29:29.680 --> 05:29:33.639
a tailor led the charge, a
decimal part of a man, as

2734
05:29:33.759 --> 05:29:38.639
we are all led to picture him. But this decimal, every bit,

2735
05:29:38.840 --> 05:29:45.319
as true stale as ever came out
of British forge. All the boys knew

2736
05:29:45.479 --> 05:29:52.520
him and laughed at him and chaffed
him as old scissors. My God,

2737
05:29:53.400 --> 05:29:57.720
said mc quirk, as he sat
up in the mud, gasping at the

2738
05:29:57.840 --> 05:30:04.759
sight. If it is ne'er that
wee bit snip leading the assault? Did

2739
05:30:04.880 --> 05:30:12.000
Gie ever and look at the bullets
whipping through his bandies? Should I ever

2740
05:30:12.119 --> 05:30:18.520
wear the bricks? Tis mascle that
would be measured by old scissors? Should

2741
05:30:18.560 --> 05:30:22.919
he come through this circus for the
finest pair of pepper and salts as ever

2742
05:30:23.080 --> 05:30:30.880
paraded where tire legs inside them along
Prince's Street, a bonnie Edinburgh Town.

2743
05:30:32.880 --> 05:30:37.319
The London Boys plowed on across this
arid finland, where the fight in the

2744
05:30:37.439 --> 05:30:45.799
Big Push was staged mile upon mile
of dismal binding quagmire, with no more

2745
05:30:45.919 --> 05:30:52.360
cover than would serve for a tom
cat on the stalk. Two mud encumbered

2746
05:30:52.400 --> 05:30:59.360
to run, the Saturday Nighters simply
made a parade of it, marching many

2747
05:30:59.439 --> 05:31:04.279
of them to certain death, with
their rifles on their shoulders, songs on

2748
05:31:04.400 --> 05:31:11.000
their lips. If the sergeants drunk, ya rum never mind? If the

2749
05:31:11.159 --> 05:31:18.520
sergeants drunk, yr rum never mind. Is entitled to a drop, but

2750
05:31:18.840 --> 05:31:23.520
he's drunk the blasted lot. If
the sergeants drunk, ya rum never mind?

2751
05:31:26.439 --> 05:31:33.880
The Poplar and Stepney Royal standbacks sang
this, inspiring him as they charged

2752
05:31:33.959 --> 05:31:40.159
the barbed wire guarding the first line
of German trenchers. They were ripping and

2753
05:31:40.360 --> 05:31:47.639
snipping and hacking at it. When
the deadly machine guns enfiladed them sounded like

2754
05:31:47.840 --> 05:31:52.439
some bloy. A terran Calico muttered
a wounded tommy with half a dozen holes

2755
05:31:52.520 --> 05:32:00.919
in him to another wounded boy who
had escaped with only four belle came the

2756
05:32:02.040 --> 05:32:08.400
retort from the bloodstained lips, always
talking shop, Oi, don't ye give

2757
05:32:08.479 --> 05:32:15.000
the under linen department a rest?
Couldn't help it, Old Powell reminded me

2758
05:32:15.240 --> 05:32:22.200
of home, And with half a
chuckle and half a sigh, the heroic

2759
05:32:22.279 --> 05:32:30.479
haberdasher turned his face to the cold
gray mud and died. Striding along amid

2760
05:32:30.759 --> 05:32:37.400
the dead and the dying, Piper
mcquirk reached the barbed wire upon and under

2761
05:32:37.479 --> 05:32:45.319
which many of our gallants had fought
their last fight in this world. He

2762
05:32:45.560 --> 05:32:49.400
found the bandy legged tailor a poplar
hooked up on a section of it,

2763
05:32:51.439 --> 05:32:56.720
arms spread out and head down like
a scarecrow in a wheat field. He

2764
05:32:56.959 --> 05:33:03.360
was still alive, but all he
mangled. The Piper plucked him tenderly from

2765
05:33:03.400 --> 05:33:10.400
the cruel barbs, and folding him
in his arms as gently as a mother

2766
05:33:10.560 --> 05:33:15.479
with her child carried him a fall
two miles across the Bloody Plain to the

2767
05:33:15.639 --> 05:33:22.200
village of Elle Something. Here,
the tail end of the great fight was

2768
05:33:22.319 --> 05:33:29.000
still ebbing. The last of the
Germans were being driven out with hot nickel

2769
05:33:29.159 --> 05:33:34.159
and cold steel, and all who
were left of the French population were out

2770
05:33:34.240 --> 05:33:41.279
in the streets, welcoming with shelts
of joy and streaming tears the entry of

2771
05:33:41.680 --> 05:33:48.200
the brave, the glorious English.
Here too, mcquirk found his old friend

2772
05:33:48.319 --> 05:33:55.560
and ally, with the charmed life, almost unrecognizable in his clinging suit of

2773
05:33:55.799 --> 05:34:03.919
filth and grime. Private William Pinkerton
pinky still, but pinky, sad and

2774
05:34:03.119 --> 05:34:10.400
sorrowful, for he was bending over
the dying figure of Sergeant Major Singleton.

2775
05:34:11.880 --> 05:34:18.479
Done in this time, said old
pants, breathing hard. It was them

2776
05:34:18.639 --> 05:34:25.720
damned machine guns that cussared rheumatism.
I heard it comin, but couldn't get

2777
05:34:25.840 --> 05:34:32.759
damn quick enough. But I don't
complain. We've had a pretty good time,

2778
05:34:33.599 --> 05:34:37.520
and I've tried me damned us to
be a father to you bliers.

2779
05:34:37.680 --> 05:34:47.080
A good time, A pretty good
he spoke no more, a ragged dog

2780
05:34:47.560 --> 05:34:55.000
with a rapscallion tail and a woebegone
countenance, crept up, apparently from nowhere,

2781
05:34:55.799 --> 05:35:00.680
and licked the cold limp hand of
the old Sergeant May. It was

2782
05:35:00.759 --> 05:35:11.560
Swanker, Swanker, the invincible.
That concludes chapter twenty one of Private Pinkerton

2783
05:35:11.759 --> 05:35:21.040
Millionaire. The section continues with chapter
twenty two, the Homecoming of Bill Bailey.

2784
05:35:22.400 --> 05:35:29.680
This was Piper mcquirk's great day.
His spirit, sword, his heart

2785
05:35:29.959 --> 05:35:36.400
was in the highlands. He declares
that it was his greedy swallowing of mighty

2786
05:35:36.560 --> 05:35:42.319
drafts of the German gas which accomplished
his prowess, and which inspired him with

2787
05:35:42.479 --> 05:35:48.840
the ardor to pipe with such wonderful
success the London Prentice boys out of their

2788
05:35:48.919 --> 05:35:57.319
trenches to the sublime charge, which
meant so much for the great push another

2789
05:35:57.439 --> 05:36:03.400
one for the gas of occasion,
said he. And it's Marcel that would

2790
05:36:03.439 --> 05:36:11.720
have soared like the eagle of the
andes. It's food and drink Haggerson Delmore's

2791
05:36:11.799 --> 05:36:18.479
sauce is that German gas to me, Laddie. With Pinkerton and the remnants

2792
05:36:18.599 --> 05:36:25.360
of the boys, he was now
in the long straggling highway of the village

2793
05:36:25.479 --> 05:36:30.599
of el Something. The streets were
wrecked, half the houses were down,

2794
05:36:32.439 --> 05:36:37.000
nearly all the roofs were stripped by
shellfire, and the dead and the dying

2795
05:36:37.400 --> 05:36:44.599
were so thickly strewn round about that
at every step one stumbled among them.

2796
05:36:45.840 --> 05:36:51.840
But for all that, there was
an atmosphere almost of hilarity about the place.

2797
05:36:52.400 --> 05:36:59.639
The inhabitants streamed out of what remained
of their homes, dancing and singing

2798
05:36:59.759 --> 05:37:06.720
around the English soldiers, kissing them, garlanding their heads with flowers, and

2799
05:37:07.080 --> 05:37:14.759
making special pets of the Highlanders.
Piper mcquirk's sandy thatch was crowned with a

2800
05:37:14.919 --> 05:37:22.279
wreath of chrysanthemums. The maids danced
a gay found ago around him. He

2801
05:37:22.439 --> 05:37:27.759
had one of them on each arm. They were the prettiest be shermquirk would

2802
05:37:27.840 --> 05:37:36.319
see to that. Along they cried, along. Lead us through the town

2803
05:37:36.599 --> 05:37:41.759
to the Cafe of the Flowers of
the Forest, where Madame leban is even

2804
05:37:41.919 --> 05:37:47.919
now preparing a notion of soup beyond
shore for the warming of the souls of

2805
05:37:48.000 --> 05:37:55.799
the mighty English. Lead us great
and glorious Tamas to the magic music of

2806
05:37:56.040 --> 05:38:03.799
La Cornemuse. This was business to
the heart of the giant scot. He

2807
05:38:03.040 --> 05:38:11.439
formed the encircling crowd as best he
could in fours and tuning up the faithful

2808
05:38:11.680 --> 05:38:18.680
corner muse once again to concert pitch
blew valiantly. The opening bars of Haylan

2809
05:38:18.880 --> 05:38:26.959
Laddie given the word to march Pinkye, he cried, and fall in yourself

2810
05:38:27.159 --> 05:38:33.520
with the second bonniest, and there
shall be such a procession as never was.

2811
05:38:33.759 --> 05:38:41.319
Send me rival at the pipes,
the pie gentlemanner Hamlin, he was

2812
05:38:41.479 --> 05:38:47.080
ne'er sir Dusty at the Strasspey March
at all the kiddies of the tune to

2813
05:38:47.240 --> 05:38:52.840
glory Land in the deep bowels of
the mountain of Never was on a van

2814
05:38:53.680 --> 05:39:00.000
cried Pinkerton. And thus to the
whirling music of Sandy mc work, and

2815
05:39:00.400 --> 05:39:06.919
to the cheers and the laughter of
the tired but still merry London boys grouped

2816
05:39:06.959 --> 05:39:15.680
around the march began far up in
a glimmer of blue sky, a questing

2817
05:39:15.840 --> 05:39:22.080
towel, so high as to be
almost invisible, saw the sportive throng and

2818
05:39:22.479 --> 05:39:29.560
tossed its flowers from Cloudland as a
tribute. The blooms he scattered were bombs,

2819
05:39:30.279 --> 05:39:34.159
but his aim was bad, and
they burst far away amid a heap

2820
05:39:34.279 --> 05:39:41.599
of the German dead, adding only
the mockery of mutilation to their stark and

2821
05:39:41.799 --> 05:39:48.400
twisted forms. He was seen from
afar by a British hawk, chased,

2822
05:39:48.840 --> 05:39:53.959
fought out, maneuvered, and finally
brought down with a smash close by.

2823
05:39:56.639 --> 05:40:03.639
But the gay procession went on unheed
to the heartening skirl of Highland Laddie.

2824
05:40:04.040 --> 05:40:11.240
This swift fate of a roving murderer
sky high one moment, and a pitiable

2825
05:40:11.360 --> 05:40:17.520
smother of blood and twisted wire and
torn pinions the next, was just an

2826
05:40:17.599 --> 05:40:22.759
incident, an unconsidered item in the
day's work, in a village in whose

2827
05:40:22.919 --> 05:40:29.919
streets it had become the custom to
walk with death daily, and unafraid.

2828
05:40:30.479 --> 05:40:37.319
On a vong along the stricken streets, this gay throng moved, and still

2829
05:40:37.599 --> 05:40:44.919
the piper played. But as they
turn in the road, the music suddenly

2830
05:40:45.080 --> 05:40:51.439
stops. The procession wavered, the
shouts and the happy laughter died away,

2831
05:40:52.360 --> 05:41:00.880
and with blanched faces, the girls
cried in terror Leis Alaman, to astonishment

2832
05:41:00.040 --> 05:41:07.959
of mcquirk, to the utter bewilderment
of Private Pinkerton, to the consternation of

2833
05:41:07.040 --> 05:41:15.000
the women and girls. There appeared, not a hundred paces away another procession,

2834
05:41:15.040 --> 05:41:22.639
a slow marching throng of forty or
fifty enormous huns moving at the goose

2835
05:41:22.720 --> 05:41:30.840
step, grave, absurd and solemn. Pinkerton noticed to his relief that they

2836
05:41:30.959 --> 05:41:40.400
were unarmed anyway. They had with
them neither rifle nor bayonet. No particular

2837
05:41:40.520 --> 05:41:45.759
air of aggression marked their movement,
which seemed to be not so much deliberate

2838
05:41:47.200 --> 05:41:52.279
as forced, Nor did the light
of conquest shine from their eyes, which

2839
05:41:52.360 --> 05:42:00.639
were leaden and sullen. They appeared
to be convoying something sort of palanquin in

2840
05:42:00.759 --> 05:42:08.040
their midst, over which four stalwart
forms bent subserviently, as a hidden voice

2841
05:42:08.279 --> 05:42:15.080
from under the palanquin or whatever it
might be, bade them either advance or

2842
05:42:15.279 --> 05:42:22.279
linger. Now and again, one
of the foremost four would straighten himself suddenly,

2843
05:42:22.720 --> 05:42:32.080
as though some sciatic twinge had smote
him. It was altogether an incomprehensible

2844
05:42:32.279 --> 05:42:40.880
scene. Neither Pinkerton nor mcquirk could
make anything of it. Slowly, slowly

2845
05:42:41.439 --> 05:42:49.560
in massed formation, the mysterious hung
procession advanced nearer and nearer they came to

2846
05:42:49.759 --> 05:42:59.040
mcquirk's rival pilgrimage of Joyousness. Now
mute and wondering what could it be,

2847
05:43:00.119 --> 05:43:04.919
what did it mean? Then Pinky
heard from the midst of the surly,

2848
05:43:06.240 --> 05:43:12.200
gray coated throng. A voice he
seemed somehow to remember, a voice reminding

2849
05:43:12.360 --> 05:43:19.880
him of home far away. Whoa
mare, steady on there go easy?

2850
05:43:21.400 --> 05:43:26.479
You would he ark at a covenant? Gently, gently, easy over the

2851
05:43:26.639 --> 05:43:34.400
stones? Ah? Ye would?
Would ye? Then take that? There

2852
05:43:34.520 --> 05:43:41.279
was a swift movement from under the
half hidden palanquin whereat one of the foremost

2853
05:43:41.400 --> 05:43:48.040
bearers leaped forward with a howl of
agony. The ark of the covenant collapsed,

2854
05:43:48.759 --> 05:43:55.959
the ranks of the unwilling huns opened, and there was disclosed a picture

2855
05:43:56.599 --> 05:44:03.240
at which Pinkerton staggered to behold,
staggered, rubbed his eyes to make sure

2856
05:44:03.439 --> 05:44:10.040
that he wasn't dreaming, and then
almost collapsed in a weak cackle of laughter.

2857
05:44:11.759 --> 05:44:18.159
For there on the tip down palanquin
squatted a figure he remembered with a

2858
05:44:18.319 --> 05:44:25.680
swift pang of merriment only too well, like the Persian emperor of the Eastern

2859
05:44:25.840 --> 05:44:30.799
tail with his legs interwoven under him, like a nodding Mandarin on the road

2860
05:44:30.880 --> 05:44:37.680
to peek in non market day,
like a grim carven Buddha in his dim

2861
05:44:37.799 --> 05:44:44.400
temple, with priests and acolytes around
him, sat and grinned and nodded,

2862
05:44:45.080 --> 05:44:51.119
prodding now and again as the spirit
moved him with a nasty looking sword bayonnet,

2863
05:44:52.000 --> 05:44:56.360
the plump and quivering hind quarters of
the hun who happened to be nearest

2864
05:44:56.520 --> 05:45:03.439
him. Like all this, and
yet like nothing else in this world or

2865
05:45:03.520 --> 05:45:11.200
the next, sat mister William Bailey, soldier, cracksman and hero of Thornycroft.

2866
05:45:12.880 --> 05:45:18.599
He was bloodstained and holt, with
a ready made tornicuet twisted above a

2867
05:45:18.799 --> 05:45:25.200
ban at jab in the calf of
his leg. He was shockingly dirty and

2868
05:45:25.479 --> 05:45:33.159
bedraggled, but there was no mistaking
that insolent eye and the impertinence of demeanor

2869
05:45:33.400 --> 05:45:41.000
which accompanied it. Besides, no
one but mister Bailey, save perhaps Lord

2870
05:45:41.080 --> 05:45:47.360
Kitchener or the late Julius Caesar at
a pinch, would have the impudence to

2871
05:45:47.599 --> 05:45:53.400
lead by the nose at his imperious
bidding a very considerable chunk of the Crown

2872
05:45:53.560 --> 05:46:02.080
Prince's army, single handed and solitary, with only a rusty sword bannet between

2873
05:46:02.240 --> 05:46:07.200
him and kingdom. Come. The
fact that he went one better than that,

2874
05:46:08.119 --> 05:46:15.000
and not only led them but made
them carry him was a sterling tribute

2875
05:46:15.240 --> 05:46:19.759
to the spirit that lies smoldering in
the breasts of the British professional classes,

2876
05:46:21.599 --> 05:46:29.720
from Bishop's upwards to burglars. Ought
you expl ifs, says mister Bailey,

2877
05:46:30.119 --> 05:46:36.840
in a voice which none dared disobey. Oh or old skin, you're alive,

2878
05:46:37.400 --> 05:46:44.080
every mother's son of you. Oh
you double m stitch blitherer, nuns,

2879
05:46:45.720 --> 05:46:52.639
the expletives halted to a man alt
and my wife for a rival,

2880
05:46:52.840 --> 05:47:00.360
Sercus Canterbury, pilgrims they look like, or maybe it's a wedding, or

2881
05:47:00.919 --> 05:47:11.000
why Jerusalem bloomin artichokes if it ain't
old pinky artcakes or coffee, and Allelujah's.

2882
05:47:11.880 --> 05:47:18.799
The maddest millionaire is ever wasted is
riotless youth squatting in a trench when

2883
05:47:18.880 --> 05:47:22.919
he might be blowing off himself out
every day and all day on the fat

2884
05:47:23.000 --> 05:47:30.400
of the land, giblet, soup
and caramels, off gold plate and jeweled

2885
05:47:30.479 --> 05:47:37.040
in every hole. What in the
name of thunder is all this? Cried

2886
05:47:37.200 --> 05:47:45.319
Pinkerton, A little all of yours, truly, replied the militant burglar with

2887
05:47:45.479 --> 05:47:52.000
a grin. Allow me to introjuse
you, mister Pinkerton. My prisoners,

2888
05:47:53.040 --> 05:48:00.279
my prisoners, Mister Pinkerton, He
swung round angrily to the fire, even

2889
05:48:00.400 --> 05:48:07.520
forty huns who were standing by,
sullen and mute with faces as blank as

2890
05:48:07.560 --> 05:48:15.799
a workhouse wall. Tension you mud, livid skunks. Tension and salute,

2891
05:48:15.599 --> 05:48:26.479
or your next moments will be your
last salute. They obeyed halfheartedly as you

2892
05:48:26.799 --> 05:48:36.240
were roared mister Bailey, and now
again smarter than last time. Or he

2893
05:48:36.560 --> 05:48:44.240
brandished his terrible sword bannet. You'll
know the reason why, try and stuff

2894
05:48:44.319 --> 05:48:52.479
it into your fat heads that I
am von Edenburgh. Your prisoners that lot,

2895
05:48:52.639 --> 05:48:57.479
How in the world did you manage
to rope him in, asked Pinkerton,

2896
05:49:00.560 --> 05:49:06.479
when they might have eaten you boots
and all, Oh dead easy,

2897
05:49:07.479 --> 05:49:14.040
replied mister Bailey offhandedly. Came across
them all in a bunch in the second

2898
05:49:14.119 --> 05:49:19.400
bloomin trench beyond the barbed wire,
made a noise like the alshold cavalry on

2899
05:49:19.520 --> 05:49:26.400
the giddy Huru, and they upped
with their maulers in a jiffy, said

2900
05:49:26.439 --> 05:49:30.880
they've got wives an hundred of kids
at home, when on their marrow bones

2901
05:49:32.000 --> 05:49:37.720
they did and implored me not to
plug em, and me, bleeding all

2902
05:49:37.799 --> 05:49:41.680
the time like a stuck pig with
six inches of bannet, threw mey calf

2903
05:49:42.279 --> 05:49:48.400
and as near a goner as well. Anyway, the sight of their scared

2904
05:49:48.520 --> 05:49:55.680
faces and the fact that here before
me was the biggest flighted crib I'd ever

2905
05:49:55.840 --> 05:50:00.720
cracked, and I've cracked a fu
in my time, put new life into

2906
05:50:00.840 --> 05:50:06.560
me, so to speak. Then
I told em as how the White Chapel

2907
05:50:06.680 --> 05:50:12.000
wanderers would be along in two minutes, Jackner rippers, fifteen hundred strong,

2908
05:50:12.799 --> 05:50:19.439
that they never took no prisoners,
under no consideration whatever, wives and families,

2909
05:50:19.840 --> 05:50:27.599
grandmothers and babies in arms notwithstanding,
nevertheless, and that somehow settled their

2910
05:50:27.720 --> 05:50:34.119
ash. So they come along like
lambs, And here we are, all

2911
05:50:34.200 --> 05:50:41.319
alive and kickin'. Pink emy,
lad ev have you heard from home lately,

2912
05:50:41.360 --> 05:50:47.599
old cock and Lady Angelina a rare
slasher that little bit of good?

2913
05:50:47.720 --> 05:50:52.840
Say? Do you realize what you've
been and gone and done? You heroic

2914
05:50:53.080 --> 05:51:02.560
blooming hooligan, said Pinkerton. It's
the Victoria Cross ten to one. Well,

2915
05:51:03.439 --> 05:51:07.880
if I add it in my hands
this very moment, do you know

2916
05:51:07.240 --> 05:51:14.720
what I'd do with it? Said
mister William Bailey. I'm that blasted dry

2917
05:51:15.240 --> 05:51:22.319
that I'd swap it here and now
for a stiff pot of four half that

2918
05:51:22.639 --> 05:51:33.200
concludes chapter twenty two of Private Pinkerton
Millionaire. The section continues with chapter twenty

2919
05:51:33.279 --> 05:51:41.240
three. Cupid All armed, Cupid, all armed a certain aim. He

2920
05:51:41.439 --> 05:51:48.080
took at a brave burglar thrown head
in the west, and loosed his love

2921
05:51:48.200 --> 05:51:57.400
shaft smartly from his bow, adapted
from a midsummer night's stream, with the

2922
05:51:57.520 --> 05:52:04.599
attitude of a king. Disposing of
his captives for sacrifice, mister Bailey handed

2923
05:52:04.680 --> 05:52:11.720
over his five and forty hun prisoners
to a small guard chosen from the poplar

2924
05:52:11.840 --> 05:52:21.360
parishers, and retaining four gloomy brunswickers
for his own personal bearers, climbed once

2925
05:52:21.479 --> 05:52:29.119
more into his palanquin and joined up
with mcquirk's glynd pilgrimage en route for Madame

2926
05:52:29.240 --> 05:52:37.479
Lebon's aromatic soup kitchen. One of
the laughing girls wreathed for him a crown

2927
05:52:37.599 --> 05:52:44.040
of chrysanthemums. The piper changed his
tune from a lament to a peblock,

2928
05:52:44.759 --> 05:52:52.240
and to those inspiring strains. The
merry crowd moved on. The remainder of

2929
05:52:52.360 --> 05:52:59.360
the day was sheer, rest and
gladness. The heroes enthroned were mister Bailey,

2930
05:53:00.080 --> 05:53:07.319
Sandy mcquirk and private Pinkerton, And
what exactly happened after the soup feast

2931
05:53:07.520 --> 05:53:14.240
and the sausages and the red wine
laced freely with adulation. Not one of

2932
05:53:14.319 --> 05:53:21.880
the three can put his Bible oath
to except that mister Bailey declared that it

2933
05:53:22.040 --> 05:53:29.360
beat cock fighting and cream cheese.
That mcquirk recalled out of the glorious haze

2934
05:53:29.919 --> 05:53:37.799
certain romantic Saturday night adventures along the
Lothian Road in his callow and gingery youth,

2935
05:53:37.840 --> 05:53:44.159
And that Pinky thought a lot,
but wisely and to the manner of

2936
05:53:44.319 --> 05:53:51.159
him, held his peace, so
retaining that reputation for wisdom. That's many

2937
05:53:51.240 --> 05:53:56.599
a wiser man who wags his head
more than his tongue has kept to his

2938
05:53:56.840 --> 05:54:06.520
dying day. Where said mister Bailey, lazily and softly slumbrous, after the

2939
05:54:06.680 --> 05:54:12.279
soup and trimmings had been disposed of, Well, and what do you think

2940
05:54:12.360 --> 05:54:18.959
of things? Funny, old world? What? And ain't we just even

2941
05:54:18.080 --> 05:54:23.880
the time of our lives? If
it wasn't for the Censor and the Criminal

2942
05:54:25.040 --> 05:54:32.080
Investigation Department, and for fear of
puffing the gaff on old Pals, I'd

2943
05:54:32.119 --> 05:54:37.959
sit down and write straight away to
the Honorable Secretary of the United Burglars and

2944
05:54:38.200 --> 05:54:45.599
Bankbusters Association unlimited. Such a recruiting
letter to be read in public meat and

2945
05:54:45.720 --> 05:54:53.479
assembled to the boys, as would
not Earl Darby's mechanical love letter composing typewriter

2946
05:54:55.240 --> 05:55:03.159
into a cocked hat. And why
not, Pinkerton, a few words straight

2947
05:55:03.240 --> 05:55:08.200
from the horse's mouth would be more
than balming gileiad in Blighty. Just now

2948
05:55:10.360 --> 05:55:18.279
try it. The battle scarred burglar
shook his rough head. Circumstances of orthography,

2949
05:55:19.080 --> 05:55:25.880
he said, sadly, over which
I have no bloom and controlled pinky.

2950
05:55:26.959 --> 05:55:32.360
I'm at no loss for eloquence.
It's always a bubbling up, like

2951
05:55:32.560 --> 05:55:37.919
the crystal spring in the Band of
Hope. But when it comes to setting

2952
05:55:37.040 --> 05:55:41.560
of it, Dan in black and
white, I'm about as useful at it

2953
05:55:41.759 --> 05:55:49.400
as a crocodile is at skirt dancing. No matter, said Pinkerton consolingly,

2954
05:55:51.560 --> 05:55:56.479
there's no need for literature in these
swift days. We've reached a pitch old

2955
05:55:56.599 --> 05:56:04.840
pal where the sword isia than the
pen. Mister Bailey removed his chrysanthemum wreath

2956
05:56:06.080 --> 05:56:14.119
from his troubled brow like a weary
oppressed king, and placed it experimentally upon

2957
05:56:14.279 --> 05:56:18.319
his cocked up foot. Where he
gazed upon it with his head on one

2958
05:56:18.439 --> 05:56:26.240
side and addressing the chrysanthemums rather than
his companion, said, with a certain

2959
05:56:26.360 --> 05:56:33.680
air of unexpected shyness, don't you
believe it? If I could only write,

2960
05:56:34.479 --> 05:56:41.400
if I could just give expression in
indelible pencil or ink or burnt match

2961
05:56:41.479 --> 05:56:48.159
heads, any old thing as it'd
make a mark. If I could only

2962
05:56:48.319 --> 05:56:53.799
record in black and white the thoughts
as well up in my bosom, struggling

2963
05:56:55.040 --> 05:57:03.040
for the light. Man, you're
drunk oakin pinkerton. Brutally, mister Bailey

2964
05:57:03.319 --> 05:57:08.639
kicked the wreath from his toe,
caught it deftly as it fell, and

2965
05:57:08.880 --> 05:57:17.840
replaced it on his head. Not
drunk, he said, sorrowfully, Only

2966
05:57:18.479 --> 05:57:25.599
desperate art sick. Jigg it up. I s'pose it's something like old Charlie

2967
05:57:25.799 --> 05:57:32.400
Chaplain, bursting with sorrow because he
all the time wants to play Lady Isabel

2968
05:57:33.520 --> 05:57:40.720
dead and never called me mother Alas
instead of spender. And all is natural

2969
05:57:41.159 --> 05:57:45.599
in fallen down, open cellar flaps, I'd live in a trench up to

2970
05:57:45.720 --> 05:57:52.279
my neck in CORPSEI water, I'd
I'd do any bloomin thing if I could

2971
05:57:52.400 --> 05:58:03.000
only write like he smote his breast, sighing stormily well, murmured Pinky encouragingly.

2972
05:58:04.119 --> 05:58:11.080
If you could only write like what
out with it? My heartsick hero

2973
05:58:11.680 --> 05:58:18.479
like like her, whispered mister Bailey. And for the first time in his

2974
05:58:18.639 --> 05:58:25.439
life, something surged over his face, which, had it been washed,

2975
05:58:25.959 --> 05:58:34.560
might have been taken or mistaken for
a blush. War makes strange bedfellows in

2976
05:58:34.799 --> 05:58:41.840
moments such as these of respite,
when the eagle of death is not screaming

2977
05:58:41.959 --> 05:58:49.040
overhead, and earthquake and eclipse are
stilled, the most solemn confidences are exchanged

2978
05:58:49.240 --> 05:58:57.840
between soul and soul. The corkscrew
of circumstance extracts the cork of secrecy with

2979
05:58:59.040 --> 05:59:07.560
an explosive of suddenness from the most
jealously wired magnum of humanity. Like her,

2980
05:59:07.880 --> 05:59:14.080
said the burglar, in a tone
of reverence, nay, of absolute

2981
05:59:14.439 --> 05:59:21.560
awe, and plunging his hand within
his brave and gallant breast, he withdrew

2982
05:59:21.720 --> 05:59:27.119
therefrom a packet of mud stained letters, tied together with a piece of tarred

2983
05:59:27.319 --> 05:59:34.439
string. Without a word, he
tossed them over to Pinkerton, leaned forward

2984
05:59:34.959 --> 05:59:41.680
and buried his face in his grimy
hands, rocking gently to and fro.

2985
05:59:42.360 --> 05:59:49.159
The cork was out PLoP. One
glance at the stained and splashed documents,

2986
05:59:49.759 --> 05:59:59.200
secretly watered perhaps by furtive burglarious tears, was sufficient to acquaint Pinkie with the

2987
05:59:59.319 --> 06:00:07.000
tragedy of the situation. There was
no mistaking that bold, highly ornamented hand,

2988
06:00:07.000 --> 06:00:14.479
that heavy passionate underlining of certain intimate
words. Even the color of the

2989
06:00:14.639 --> 06:00:22.880
paper faded to almost invisible pink,
even the nearly obliterated scent of violets still

2990
06:00:23.040 --> 06:00:30.119
clinging to the packet, in spite
of its long and intimate nestling within the

2991
06:00:30.279 --> 06:00:37.319
faithful bosom of mister Bailey, advertised
the identity of the fair scribe who had

2992
06:00:37.439 --> 06:00:45.439
spent so many anxious but delicious hours
in unburdening her soul to her lonely soldier

2993
06:00:45.560 --> 06:00:52.240
hero somewhere on the far flung battle
front. They were the letters of Lady

2994
06:00:52.360 --> 06:01:00.279
Angelica. You can read and pinky, said mister Bailey, Horseley, the

2995
06:01:00.439 --> 06:01:07.560
old bloomin' loot, don't mind me. One glance through the packet was enough,

2996
06:01:08.240 --> 06:01:15.479
without even untying the knotted cable of
tarred string which bound this languorous catalog

2997
06:01:15.639 --> 06:01:25.560
of sweet nothings together. No replied
Pinkerton, and a great spirit of resolution

2998
06:01:26.119 --> 06:01:33.439
shone in his amiable face. No, some things are too sacred for the

2999
06:01:33.599 --> 06:01:41.080
curious eyes of casual acquaintanceship, even
friendship, And this is one of m

3000
06:01:41.319 --> 06:01:48.479
Far be it from me to break
into the shrine where young love lies enthroned.

3001
06:01:48.840 --> 06:01:53.479
Take back your bill Adu, And
he tossed the packet over to the

3002
06:01:53.599 --> 06:02:02.639
crouching love lorn burglar. It wasn't
my fault, declared mister Bailey, letting

3003
06:02:02.720 --> 06:02:08.000
out another sigh from the bottom of
his heart. I only told her when

3004
06:02:08.080 --> 06:02:12.799
we was together, Dwan at your
place at Forneycroft, that I'd got no

3005
06:02:14.080 --> 06:02:18.040
friends in the wide, wide world, same as I told you, mate,

3006
06:02:18.479 --> 06:02:23.799
in a bust of confidence. Are
that their heartcake razzle with the onward

3007
06:02:23.919 --> 06:02:32.520
Christian soldier's lot, and Lady Angelica
ups and says, what are you one

3008
06:02:32.560 --> 06:02:37.360
of them lonely soldiers? She says, Well, you won't be quite so

3009
06:02:37.639 --> 06:02:42.840
lonely, mister Bailey, she says, when you get back to the front,

3010
06:02:44.439 --> 06:02:48.720
for I'm goin to cheer you up, she says, in that nice

3011
06:02:48.840 --> 06:02:56.040
friendly wire hers which no doubt you've
observed. Oh it will be killin says

3012
06:02:56.119 --> 06:03:03.840
she and her eyes lit up like
fireworks. And when I says, I'd

3013
06:03:03.880 --> 06:03:07.919
as soon had my leg blowed off
by a Jack Johnson as pulled by a

3014
06:03:08.080 --> 06:03:15.439
high born lady, she ups again
and apologizes, like the true sport she

3015
06:03:15.840 --> 06:03:21.119
is. I didn't mean to pull
your leg, mister Bailey, she says,

3016
06:03:21.919 --> 06:03:27.400
And I didn't mean it exactly when
I said it'd be killing. Let's

3017
06:03:27.520 --> 06:03:33.520
say that it will be romantic,
mister Bailey, she says, and very

3018
06:03:33.599 --> 06:03:41.040
handsome she looks in Magan the amend
Honorary. And that's how it began.

3019
06:03:42.040 --> 06:03:49.959
For weeks and months, Lady Angelina
has been sending them them epistles along and

3020
06:03:51.159 --> 06:03:56.400
I've been replying. It began sort
of clandestine, like in a manner of

3021
06:03:56.560 --> 06:04:03.560
speaking, and her ladyship's open and
bombardment was a trifle frosty and formal.

3022
06:04:04.720 --> 06:04:11.959
But since then, Pinky and this
is between me and you and the gate

3023
06:04:11.040 --> 06:04:18.720
Post. Since then the temperatures rise
and there's a sort of mutual understanding.

3024
06:04:21.240 --> 06:04:27.279
But I thought you said you couldn't
write, said Pinkerton. Well, and

3025
06:04:27.520 --> 06:04:33.279
what are that, replied the burglar. I just took a leaf out of

3026
06:04:33.319 --> 06:04:41.240
a book A general French who keeps
dogs to do his bargain and private secretaries

3027
06:04:41.479 --> 06:04:48.639
to conduct his correspondence. I could
do my own bargain but polite letter writing

3028
06:04:49.080 --> 06:04:55.560
being out of my element. I
got private Pickles, who's a salesman in

3029
06:04:55.680 --> 06:05:00.720
a sausage and mash shop when his
home, but I particular killing me and

3030
06:05:00.279 --> 06:05:06.959
at turning a phrase to act as
my am or new whatever you call at,

3031
06:05:07.759 --> 06:05:15.119
and me and in together worked the
business at I'll give you my early

3032
06:05:15.319 --> 06:05:22.520
bird. I've kept copies of some
of the best and brightest in case you

3033
06:05:22.680 --> 06:05:30.000
never know your luck. And then
last Monday week the bottom tumbled out at

3034
06:05:30.080 --> 06:05:38.119
a whole blooming show. The inspiration
evan temporarily run dry, young pick strolled

3035
06:05:38.200 --> 06:05:45.319
out in the moonlight to look for
ideas. It's so happened that the Germans

3036
06:05:45.439 --> 06:05:52.040
were also at looking for something else. And poor Pickles never come back.

3037
06:05:52.040 --> 06:05:59.279
And there you are no letters from
me, and never a word from Lady

3038
06:05:59.360 --> 06:06:04.880
Angelie. Ten to one she thinks
on pipped, what's a poor devil to

3039
06:06:06.040 --> 06:06:14.080
do anyway? And once more mister
Bailey, looking like a dejected and demoralized

3040
06:06:14.159 --> 06:06:18.599
Bacchus, after a wild night out, buried his face in his hands,

3041
06:06:19.720 --> 06:06:29.520
his crown of chrysanthemum slipped sideways.
Pinkerton gazed upon him sadly. Was it

3042
06:06:29.639 --> 06:06:34.959
a tear he saw trickling through those
tense fingers, He was not quite sure,

3043
06:06:36.880 --> 06:06:41.880
But as he gazed, he heard
the soldier lonely once more and forlorn

3044
06:06:42.840 --> 06:06:51.520
sigh, And there was a world
of sadness in that sigh. That night,

3045
06:06:51.919 --> 06:06:56.639
the home post came in, and
as the Royal engineers orderly handed out

3046
06:06:56.720 --> 06:07:03.560
the long expected packets to the men, as they filed past, he called

3047
06:07:03.599 --> 06:07:11.439
out the name AND's number of Private
William Bailey, another thieven taylor's bill,

3048
06:07:11.279 --> 06:07:18.919
said mister Bailey, as he,
unconcernedly and with an absolutely expressionless face,

3049
06:07:18.799 --> 06:07:26.479
crammed the letter, unopened into his
pocket. Pinky saw him and thought it

3050
06:07:26.720 --> 06:07:33.639
rather strange that a tailor should send
in his little bill, enclosed in a

3051
06:07:33.799 --> 06:07:41.080
pink envelope redolent of the smell of
violets. But never a word said he.

3052
06:07:44.840 --> 06:07:52.200
That concludes Chapter twenty three of Private
Pinkerton Millionaire, and is also the

3053
06:07:52.479 --> 06:08:00.680
end of section eleven, and is
also the end of Private Pinkerton Millionaire by Harold Ashton