Hey. Uh. Meanwhile, Uh, Gail calls her boyfriend. Do you
remember when Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face? Yeah? Yeah,
see, I thought you were a bird. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new
episode of another below Deck podcast. My name is Dylan Randham sudded up next
to Patrick Ickey. Permission to come a board granted? So do you want
to say it together? Yeah? It might be twenty two minute episode of
us recapping this. I am I'm not sure that below Deck knows that they
need to pick it the fuck up, you know what I mean? Yeah,
Like, what are we doing on this? Resting on our laurels?
Shit, nothing's happening right now. Okay, seems like we've got a lot
of good things in play though, Dell, it's just it's the engines haven't
fired yet. It's a slow first quarter. But the good news is there
are like five six quarters and things. Yeah, there's like seventeen of these.
So before we get into how horrible this episode was. Zero pods Wow,
Patreon dot com Slash another podcast network. Great stuff over there. Pat
talked so much shit about his party that he threw over the week. I
threw a music festival in my backyard, and I realized that it basically shined
a light on some of my personal relationships. Yeah, you're gonna do a
friendship audit. I'm gonna do a friendship on it. You know, like
when you send an invite out saying would you like to go to this party,
and rather than a yes or no to your invite, they heart the
message. Yeah, we've talked about the note, we talked about the non
commit a language of Los Angeles. It's a very infuriating language. But yeah,
great episode, Patreon dot com session another just to plug it. And
sometimes those people respond with who's going to be there? A yeah, no
one. I'll tell you what. I don't know who's going to be there
exactly, but I know that you're going to be put on ice if you
have any more questions about this. Okay some people. I have five friends
that have been put on ice after this party. And you don't want to
get put on ice by Patty. Okay, when you're put on ice by
Patty, you are. I mean, there's no Hollywood Bowl box seats too,
there's no big mistake, there's no dinners, there's no nothing, there's
no wine country. I shut off my networking, my complete network of people
that I don't Well, you're on ice. So that's what happens, all
right. We have some lovely sponsors coming up if you don't want to hear
anything about them, Patreon dot com, Slash another party. It's worth the
money. Uh. You know. We're also throwing down Flavor of Love season
three on Bad TV, which you may be listening to that feed already.
Some lunatic left us a review on iTunes this week. Oh really, Yeah,
they think we're better because we're so funny naturally that we don't need to
dip into that low quality territory. To that person, I say, stop
listening. Yeah, Dylan and I get to have fun, and we have
a lot of fun recapping Flavor of Love season three. It's an amazing season
of television. Yeah, I mean things happen on that show as opposed to
this where we just cook chicken and say it doesn't taste very good. Well,
chickens for poor people. To be fair, chicken is for poor people.
Sandy so wanted to say that it was implied Sandy that was very inappropriate,
you know, for high caliber guests like Gigi. Hey, you know,
funny thing, Dyl she's not a high caliber guest. Oh she's not,
but she's won seventeen major titles. Hey, dyl, I'm Gigi.
Let's do roll. Ask me if I like cakes? Cat, I'm okay,
I love this. Okay, hey gg good? How are you?
Hi? Good? Hi? How are you hi? I'm high caliber?
Yeah, you're high caliber? What does that mean? I'm high caliber?
I'm important? You're important? Yeah, I'm too good for chicken. It's
beneath me. Okay, I just wanted to catch up, and you're throwing
a lot of shit at the wall right now. You're saying that you're high
caliber. It's like a it's like a weird kind of psychotic hiku you're doing
right now. Remember the premise of the bit here though, Ask me if
I like cake? Well, I wanted to ask you if you liked cake,
but you started spouting off all this insane shit. I got really destroyed.
I love cake. It brings me back to my memory after I won
my fourteenth doubles title. There was a great cake at that celebration. Yeah,
cho Crowbart anyway to mention that she's won seventeen double tennis match well,
and I think that people who watched tennis. I don't want to watch a
lot of tennis, but I think people that watch tennis know that doubles ain't
shit, right. I mean, if you have a doubles title, that's
fine, but nobody's watching doubles and and two. And she says she won
seventeen Grand slams. Not only did she not win seventeen Grand slams? I
correct me. If I'm wrong, that would be the most insane achievement maybe
in the history of sports. So she got that wrong. Yeah, she
got that wrong. You know, I was wondering who was the double you
know, because she has mean that she won almost seventy majors. Wow,
that'd make her high caliber. You shouldn't serve that kind of person. That
would absolutely make her high caliber. And the thing about high caliber people is
that they're not on the television show below Deck. So if you are on
the TV show below Deck as a guest, you are instantaneously not high caliber.
So that good friend of Gigi, she looked like she played tennis too,
the one that looks like Elton John if he was dead for two weeks,
she's got high caliber. No, she's not high caliber. And also,
you know, to say that you play tennis with Joe Biden's neighbor,
so nobody knows who the fuck that is. So it's clearly you played tennis
with people in his zip code, is what you're trying to say. Say,
I disagree once I heard though at that. Yeah, I was like,
you can't serve this Parson check and they're high caliber, high caliber.
She looks like Elton John if he was dead for two days. You mentioned
that. No, I mean you think about the people who have been on
this show, the Queen of Verside, Jill Zarin, that cokehead who had
a law firm that was getting a lot of hits on SEO. None of
these people are high caliber people. Okay, so zero pots. The show
is not a high caliber show. Right now, we've got nothing going on.
And you know, Gigi, if you're high caliber, if you're really
high caliber, pick the plate up off the table and throw it on the
fucking ground and say I want steak. Okay, that's high caliber. Shit
Okay, zero zero zero enough of course, all right, Yeah, I
kind of pretty much agree with everything you said. Look, Joe, no,
he he made his way back in my good grace. I know when
someone wrote like, are you guys microaggressing on purpose calling him Jonah Jonah?
It's like, no, I it's johon. Oh sure, Sandy calls him
Jonah or I don't know. I've never seen that name before, so give
me a second. I also don't care about Jonah, so I give me
a second. I'll I'll give this to Jonah Jonah. See when you say
Jonah, it's a tough name for me. Okay, we call the two
other guys on the boat Thing one and Thing two, So give us a
break, give us a break. Yeah, okay, So look, you
know what you know what a highlight of the season is is the Balkan Biscuit
Rally and we will have her as a guest on for next week. We'll
be interviewing her. So get into that Facebook group and I always read your
questions because I don't want to figure out what questions to ask. How about
to take a Balkan biscuit timing cheese? I love it? It's fun,
good lord, Yeah, it was fun. That's a fun little duo.
Yeah. I think they're going to be ripped apart by Thing two next week.
I mean, men are just so disgusting now, It's early in the
season, but Captain Sandy is already beginning to falter. She I was thinking
with the when Nathan in that charter, guess we're just floating out to see
well imagine, yeah, imagine if that I forget what kind of boat it
was that found them and actually catam right, imagine if that boat wasn't there
that day. Do those people just float into infinity and disappear and die?
Yeah? I think when you get caught in a rip current, you float
into infinity and die. I'm pretty sure is what happens in that you get
dragged out to the middle of the ocean and then you can't eat anything or
drink anything. Yeah. Now, I know that Sandy was kind of pissed
at this, but I i she seed to be more than kind of pissed.
They could have lost their lives. Well. Also, you know,
you need to go apologize to Gi. Why do you need to apologize to
is nothing? Why do we need to apologize to Gigi? Pretty important person,
hike caliber, That's right. I will give Gigi one thing, one
part. I'm happy that she went up to Sandy and she was like,
the food is absolute dog shit, because I would have done the same thing.
Overall, I didn't hate it as much as you. I still think
we got a shot at an amazing season here. I've talked to some of
the Sea Rats privately, and they've hinted at that middle of the season where
it really starts kicking it. So I'm gonna believe them. And sometimes he's
the Sea Rats, you can't trust him, right But anyway, well you
said sometimes thirty knots. All right? So we pick up with the kind
of late night clandestine romance between Gail and the Thing one, and Gail does
something. Andy Cohen doesn't give a shit about this show, but if Andy
Cohen did, she might be killed for doing what she did. She comes
out, she's caught by camera men and she says, I'm not doing anything.
I'm just going up to get water or something. Well, they wind
a mic her. She lies to the camera crew. Now, listen,
Gail, you're a sea Rat. You're on a television show. Okay,
everything needs to be on camera. If you're going to go up and you
know, get felt up by Thing one, we need to have a mic
on you. Okay, that's just how it works. You signed a contract.
I agree with this. Now, Gail was on that perilous journey to
hook up with a fellow sea rat, and I respected that, and the
cameras, as you pointed out, catched her in the act. That's the
thwarting the mission. And then Gail admits to us to having strong feelings for
Nathan despite having that boyfriend or hers, and as you pointed out last week,
Del, some would judge, but to be fair to her, it
has been a day. Yeah. You know when you you know, when
you go into a workplace and you and an irishman or a Northern Englander who
kind of smells and his borderline illiterate, and you fall in love within twenty
four hours. I mean, we've all been there, girl, you know
what I mean. And that's the thing, like you see, I wish
I knew the name, but somebody said that Gail looks like Chrissy Teagan if
she wasn't completely consumed with bitchiness. To see that that lovely package and sweet
as a button. You know, you think everything's you know, you got
we got a real, you know, substantive person here. No, she
fell in love with thing one in twenty four hours. Twenty four hours,
I mean that's a that's that's a lifetime though, and see rat time,
that's true, and it also is grounds for institutionalized I think it might be
I'm trying to manufacture something for this right now because I I I'm on fumes.
Yeah, okay, look I understand that. Look look I'm sorry.
If Galeen thing one are listening, I apologize. I'm not a cynical about
these types of relationships as you are, Dylan, And I learned this in
college, you know, when I used to have to fly to college back
and forth. Cynical as I am about these relationships. Oh maybe I am,
but but I see you definitely are well get this. So I'm leaving
Massachusetts Logan Airport to go out to college for Christmas break and uh, I
see this girl and this guy and she's this girl's crying, she's got does
that wrap around leg thing like I love you mom, crying. There she
gets on that goddamn plane. It's like a five an hour half hour flight.
You know, I'm not really paying attention to anything. You know,
we got off a couple of blankets, and no, she's leaving the guy.
She's leaving the guy. You know, the breaking up or she's got
to move across this whatever. Anyway, a guy that picks her up at
the airport. This is before you know, nine to eleven, right,
right, so you got to see people meet each other. At the gate,
she meets another guy, she jumps up, does the full lake around,
starts making out them, tells him she loves you know. Interesting thing
about nine to eleven, Donald Rumsfeld evidently said that there was two point three
trillion dollars missing in the Pentagon on it and then, you know, believe
it or not, that part of the Pentagon gets wiped out. We have
one camera angle of it. You can't really see what's going on. And
people go, oh, well, it's two thousand and one. There's not
a lot of cameras around. It's the Pentagon, Okay, It's the heart
and soul of our country because at the end of the day, our country
is a colonialist. Hey. Next morning, yeah, next morning, everyone's
hungover. The next morning is one gigantic fucking jungle book. Meanwhile, that's
all. The next morning is well, one main meanwhile stuck out to me.
And that's when Sandy gets on that goddamn phone and she fires that fucking
production that provision provision. Yeah, yeah, she fired. Now she lets
us know, Hey, normally I she's a three strikes type of manager,
you know, but in this case, you know, they were so bad
and it's a one strike and they're fired. I think she has a poor
memory. This company definitely earned three strikes, especially when they told her that
they'd be able to get that wine to her five hours after the charter ended.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, they had eight strikes at least.
And you know, Sandy was a baseball coach. You know. Let's
say she's coaching the Baltimore Orioles, right and somebody strikes out. They're on
their way back to the batter's box, and she comes out onto the field,
you know, says to the ump, you know, I need a
seck. She puts her arm around him. She says, listen, you're
not gonna be perfect every day. I want you to turn around. I
want you to get back out there, and I want you to try to
hit the ball again. And he's been around. He'd go back to the
plate and people would go, that's not how this works, right, he
can't keep batting, And Sandy would say, you know, this is the
issue with the world that we live in. You know, it's not that
you need three strikes. They've they've they've see Sandy is she exists in a
world of sea ra You need more strikes than three when you're existing in a
world with sea rats. Okay, we're not in the normal world, right,
I mean normally you. I mean take Doug Allen for example, Doug
Allen has a Doug Allen has a private bathroom on lot Oh. Yeah,
that guy came in there and he took a shit, and I was like,
that guy's fired. One strike. You take a shit in Doug Allen's
and that's Hollywood, right, Quentin Tarantino, you didn't. You don't pull
focus on one frame. You're gone. That's it. That's it. One
strike. But Quentin Tarantino is working with professionals, and Sandy is working with
psychologically wounded TGI Friday's waiters. Okay, anyways, sorry for that fucking baseball
analogy. I mean, what was I even talking about? How about that
Donald Runsfeld jag? You went on, what do you mean? Hey?
Meanwhile, uh, Gail calls her boyfriend. Do you remember when Dick Cheney
shot his friend in the face. Yeah, See, I thought you were
a bird. That's crazy. Hey, I think he's dead. I got
him. I thought you were the biggest foul i'd ever seen. Oddly colored.
That guy had something on me. Oh absolutely. They're at dinner.
They're eating I don't know, and he's talking about how much money Haliburton's made
over the past couple of years, and the guy goes, you know,
I think the oversight committee would have some things to say about that. Hey,
you want to go hunting tomorrow? Yeah? All right, all right,
can I do it? Meanwhile? All right, Gail calls her boyfriend
and she mentions that it was a long night, you know, crazy drunkenness.
She was out that part where she was trying to fuck a co worker
in the boss. I don't know if we're going to bang. I mean
there's tight quarters, there's a kind of there are brooms and very sharp objects
all over the place. So I don't know that you can really have sex
in a place like that, But if anybody could, it'd be a couple
of sea rats. That's right now, dyll. I was thinking about this,
you know, because I've been on the other end of this kind of
infidelity thing. You know, you think someone loves you the next thing you
find out, you know there was someone else. Well, you've also been
on the other other end of the infidelity. Oh, that's right, that's
true. That's true. Well, you know, sometimes it's the location of
the indiscretion that's the really hurtful part. Right, you did it a Marshalls,
Well he was my manager, Todd. Yeah, you fucked your boss
in a janitous closet. Yeah, that hurts. Yeah. Were there mops
there? Yeah? Oh my god, yeah, we kind of used them.
It was like pilates you you had sex on a bail of hay.
Well, Thomas, I work at a zoo. Yuah, petting zoo and
petting zoos are pretty out in the open, you know, there's not a
lot of tucked corners, you know, so that realistically is like, you
know, you had sex at a farmer's market in front of a bunch of
people on a bail of hay and got arrested for it. You know,
that's what that would be. That really hurts. Yeah, that's the part.
Yeah, that's the part that hurts. I knew you were probably not
being faith for that really sticks. All right, maybe it will be a
little bit well, I don't know, should we just I don't know,
what do you want to do? Do you want to just stop talking about
the show, just end the show. We've got a couple of sponsors we
have to get to. So the boat says, hey, let's give it
a hundred cement today. This guy I don't know about this guy Ian.
Yeah, he says. The producer say, what could you possibly be talking
about one hundred cement? And he says, it's like yes, it's like
saying yes, but with more letters. And it's also like saying one hundred
percent with less letters. It's just an insane thing to do. Hundred cement.
Yeah, you know, that's like, you know the kind of ick
you get it like leadership conferences when people say shit you're like, oh my
god. Yeah, I remember the first time a manager broke down the ass
you me thing, m h yeah, that was pretty stupid. I was
like, oh, but I gotta get out. Yeah, I'm gonna need
to be on pharmaceuticals if I continue to work here, and they're bad for
you. So Ellie and She's have a chat about laundry and then Ellie times
her on bed making. Now you know, a she's got a lot of
shit going on. She's got a bunch, she's got to deal with the
guests, she's got to talk about feces, she's got a you know,
she's very busy. So Ellie kind of takes the role of, you know,
the shaggy to the scoop. We do that is cheese and it's it's
quite a lovely relationship. It is beautiful. Although I think there is some
pushback from Brie because I think the ball can Biscuit at some point says hey,
you might want to write shit down, yeah, and then Brie appears
to be pretty arrogant about that suggestion. And then Ellie takes Brie and she
compares her to a baby giraffe that can barely walk. Uh huh. I'm
okay with that analogy, but it should be a twenty four year old baby
giraffe that doesn't know what announces, who had her laundry picked up, and
that is a very privileged giraffe. I mean, most giraffes don't even wear
clothes. So it's time to get to the meeting, the meeting that we
shout about. It's time to get to the braft frag shape man. So
we're getting that complete fucking lunatic again. By the way, they're struggling to
find people to show up on these boats. I'm telling you, dude,
it's it's really I think that I'm worried a little bit about the show because
they need to find a different kind of clean tell Okay, so let's do
a pitch here, Dale, because look, there's nothing to talk about.
This episode was so shit. Okay, Hey, Bravo, producers, I
know you listen or the cast, talk to whoever you need to do in
casting. Dylan and I will come on, we'll bring our wives, and
this will be the premise. This will be the fun part. Dylan and
I are podcasters that talk about the show, but Captain Sandy doesn't know.
And then she'll later find out, like one day into the cruise, we'll
have a scene with her listening to me talking about what an idiot she is.
She's gonna become incensed and pissed, right, and then she's gonna wonder
how she needs to deal with it, and then she's going to confront me.
Okay. It's wonderful television, all right, Okay, and will be
amazing guests. I don't want to pay anything, just so you know no,
but if you want to have Dylan and I on, we'll bring our
wives and maybe two other friends yep, and will be great guests and we'll
be very entertained. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'll tell you what though,
you know, it shouldn't be understated that what these people are served for
dinner is chicken and cake. Okay, And I'll tell you what. If
I'm served chicken and cake and Bravo bites on this, they say let's have
the podcasters on. I mean, it's gonna turn into a fucking it's gonna
turn into a WWE thing. I mean, make sure the chairs aren't expensive,
because they're gonna get broken chicken and cake. They're served chicken and cake.
That's their entire meal. Did you just get back from a fucking all
right, we're gonna get there. Yeah, but that's absolutely nuts. Yeah
ye. Well, anyway, they're gonna want lots of courses in the preference
sheets, so of course one course, Heydyl did I did they mentioned that
Gigi? Ah, she's a famous tennis player. Yeah, Sandy's like,
you know, the power of lesbians is really powerful. That was great podcasting
right there. To have your sexuality overcome the fact that the other person is
just a completely deplorable, disgusting piece of shit. The way that Gigi is
is really something because when Sandy is pulling out last season and Gigi says,
is it stressful? Is it like being its center court at Wimbledon? So
that right there is a disqualifying sentence. Not only should she never speak to
her again, but in my kind of draconian utopia, what some would consider
a nightmare, Gigi should be jailed for that that sentence for at least I'm
not talking about a long time, but maybe a night now. As my
mother in law would say, she's a sad woman. My mother in law's
black. I was okay, she did that one time. We were at
some wedding and she just saw this woman dancing around trying to get the attention
to men. She turned to me like whispering, she that is a sad
woman. Patrick, Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, your mother in
law is Michael Jackson. She sounds like sometimes. Yeah. So Jono says
that he still feels more like a designer than a chef, and you know
you spoke about it. I and Sandy highlights it later in the episode where
she says that I was really blown away with what he did with so little,
but to see what he does with so much, which, again,
let me remind the audience's chicken and cake is pretty horrified. And I all
into the same trap that Sandy fell into. I was like, I don't
think this guy's gonna get fired. I'm starting to realize that not only will
he not be good enough to do this, I think that he's just going
to be very like, don't want to do it, don't want to do
it, I'm out of here. Fuck this, I don't want to do
it. He might sap, Yeah, just like be really like, I
don't want to use to charged homophobic language or you know, but maybe just
be caddy about it and just be completely over it, you know what I
mean. Well, it's better than getting fired. And I'm not saying that
that would be homophobic. I'm just saying that it could be interpreted as that.
But you know, he you see, he can get a little a
little caddy about stuff. I mean, you know, so Gail head butts
something and then we get to frozen cucumber booze smoothies. They look like vomit.
Welcome aboard, miss we have to take a moment to talk about some
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that got stuck on those those waiter boats or whatever what do you call those
things that they got stuck on that no one was paying attention to catamaran.
No, no, not the catamaran when her and Nathan thing Too were floating
out into the abyss. Yeah, whatever, you give me one of those
tropical smoothies. Let that be my last meal. I don't care. I'm
out with the sun. I got a buddy next to me. Even if
the ocean's taken us and it's going to swallow us up and I'll never see
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get back to the show. Oh yeah, Can I talk about gg Yeah?
All right. So they get the tour right, that's the guests arrive,
they drink those horrible cucumber cucumber cocktails. Then Gigi proceeds to be that
annoying person that talks to you while you're working. I really despise this.
Yeah. She watches Sandy, you know, try and navigate out of that
doc and notes, uh, you know, Sandy, when you love something,
you do you uh, you never work a day in your life.
Yea, if I'm her, if I'm Captain Santfay, excuse me, gg
I, do you mind shutting the fuck up? Because I could smash this
fucking thing into another vessel and then we'd all be dead. We'd all be
dead after that. But honestly, will you go fall find a fucking wall
to stare at? Yeah? Please, please, please, so listen.
They get aboard the vessel that they're drinking these disgusting drinks, and one of
the primaries says that she plays tennis with Biden's neighbor. We mentioned it.
It's just it looks like Elton John if he's dead for two days. So
Thing two, Thing two gives us some sea rat history. Oh really,
you're gonna call this sea rat history? Huh? Is it my turn?
All right? So this is Joe. He's Thing one. Oh, he's
thing too, all right. Well, apparently his grandfather was Italian and he
didn't like tattoos. Was he in the mob? And did al Capone have
him gunned down on a sidewalk, because if not, I don't know why
the fuck you're talking about it. Zero minus zero, it's not even a
no, this doesn't count. Do we have any farewell to arms kind of
thing here? Do we have any tragedy? Do we have any yeah,
as you mentioned Cosinostra, any harm, any blood, well I even mentioned
he's Italian, any marrow at all. It's just an awful see write history.
So let's get to lunch lunches, fish tacos, also gluten free veggie
tacos, and spicy rice, which we got the recipe for. Well,
apparently his plan is to burn the guess assholes. The spicy rice is rice
with garlic powder, paprika, cardamom, and chili powder. I don't know
why we have this recipe. I don't know why we're shown this recipe.
It was one of those bizarre things where I'm pretty convinced that the people who
edit these shows have catatonic meltdowns and they just do things. I I am
with you, but I also think it's when they can't stand someone when they're
doing this now them leaning towards we can't stand this guy. Yeah, I
love that. I love that. So Cheese they hate it. They hate
it. It's disgusting. It tastes like cardamom. It's gross. Okay,
So Cheese is improving and she's found that, you know, the power of
writing things down, something that many folks have leaned on for betterment. We
get the water toys and we talk about music festivals. I mean, can
we get the show going? So Wimbledon gets on a jet ski and a
friend says she's good at everything she does. These are the kinds of people
that Gigi surrounds herself with. They are kiss asses and listen. I don't
want to downplay Gigi's accomplishment. Okay, it's it's incredible. She's a professional
athlete. She's accomplished a lot in life, but nothing that would even come
close to you behaving the way that you do. So Asha has a check
in with Scott and says that Sandy's friend Gigi won seventeen Grand Slam. She
also said that she wants Scott to be a sea rat. You know that
song that Ryan Gosling sang in Blue Valentine, You always heard the ones you
love. You know. It's a cover of like you know, an old
timey song. It's so true. Asha, do not try to make Scott
a sea rat. Okay, it will be the end of you and him
and him now you want him in the woods with just raccoons bucket okay,
because he gets a little taste of freedom on these yachts, it'd be a
different guy. Well, I don't know about that, but I just think
that people are genuinely and generally pretty unhappy when they're shackled to the interior of
a boat for however many weeks. These people are shackled to the interior of
about four But he is happy. He has a place in Breckinridge. There's
outside, he can walk around, he has agency, and he's not chained
to a boat. So thing one in Laura head out for a little paddle
boarding. They are saved by a catamaran and Nathan Nope, Ian is the
one that is to blame for this. Now he's pissed because he thought three
on deck would be enough. And now we've slipped into a one flew over
the Cuckoo's Nest kind of complex with Ian, where Ian is experiencing amnesia on
the fly, right, it's cover your own ass amnesia. He's talking about
how he but it's really it's this weird kind of delusion where he knows what
he did, but he's kind of fabricating this reality where it's not his fault
and that it's Gail's fault, even though she was eating and calling her boyfriend
that she's gonna cheat on tomorrow night because she's in love with thing too.
Well yeah, well, I mean she has moved on, but to be
fair, it has been twenty four hours. Yeah, but yeah, you
caught the Gail reminds us that he did break her right, yeah, mention
that. Okay, Yeah, so Ian is starting to lose it. It's
episode three. Some of these boastins that are only able if they're incompetent,
they can sometimes fool you for a few few charters. Then the foundation will
begin to crack. And I believe that's happening here now, Dyll you pointed
this out at the top of the podcast. For some reason, Sandy finds
the need to have Ian apologize to Gigi for this. I'll be Gigi,
I apologize to me. Okay, Hey, Gigi, you know I won
seventeen doubles titles. Wow, that's that's crazy. I just wanted to say
that I'm sorry. I'm the Boston of the boat and it's my responsibility to
look over the rest of the crew. Because I looked over that net.
That was probably my fourteenth title. Okay, you see, the thing is
is that it's my responsibility because, you know, just to let you in
on a little trade secret, everyone that works on this boat is a drunk
or a drug addict, so it's up to me to keep them corralled,
you know, and your friend could a loss of life and for that,
I'm sorry. Thanks for sharing. So Ellie compares herself to a Lamborghini and
cheese to a Mazda. Very brutal. I genuinely don't know what the fuck
happens before dinner. Ah yeah, sure, Jonoh apologizes to Allie. That's
one thing that's true. That was pretty That was pretty nice of him.
And then Ian reminds his team to always observe guests to make sure they don't
die. Yeah yeah. And then uh, let's see here, Oh yeah
that Mazda comparison Mazda with no wheels, definitely yeah. And then the water
slide gets pulled in and that's when Ian once again begins to be a dick
because he's frustrated, and both the things and Gail note when he's upset about
something he's not going his way, he starts, uh, he starts to
get a little yippie. It's right. Yeah, So we get to dinner.
None of the studs are in uniform, and then dinner is served.
Now Sandy's gonna be helping out with the service. It's going to be white
glove. Now, if you know that all the chef has prepared his chicken
and cake, take the gloves off, because it's just going to be even
more ridiculous. I mean, this is essentially like a Mister Show sketch at
this point, Like you you cannot be putting on white gloves to serve chicken
and then cake. Yeah, well, probably a bad analogy. We used
to cover The Bachelor and a date would in and there'd be a curtain there
and like, hey, I have another surprise for you. You know a
lot of pop and circumstances for it. The curtain would open. It would
be some country singer that no one's ever heard of, a real disappointment or
yeah, Yeah, like a Z way before a Z way was z one.
I'm saying the build up makes it even more painful, right, Yeah,
so definitely take the gloves off because it's pathetic, you know. I
mean it's like, let's say you're at a burger king, right and somebody's
picking at their heroin wounds next to you. Let's move on. So the
first, of course, is poor person's protein chicken with some kind of setzeki
sauce and okay, yeah, I just I was laughing because it's five star
service, and I was reminded that the Queen of Versailles or her douchebag husband
whatever said chicken was for poor people. Now, Asha's confused because Asia comes
when she eats, so for to hear these women just as quiet as a
field mouse, she's a little concerned. And I say she comes when she
eats, because we saw a flashback of her moaning with every single bike.
So next up is a cake that is a ripped up cake with sorbet and
olive oil kind of crudely sprayed all over the plate, kind of like a
money shot, and there's some kind of pink sprinkle. It's on a gold
rimmed plate. I mean, if you picked a street walker, I don't
want to continue. Yeah, I was gonna say, after that chicken entree,
I thought the deconstructed sponge cake would wow them. But yeah, even
when it looks like dead Elm John thinks it sucks. Yeah she does.
Yeah, she says it could be more chocolatey. Yeah, you know,
I was thinking with Captain Sandy, referring to the chicken is not good for
you know, people of this caliber, because you know, Gigi's traveled and
won those seventeen double tennis titles deserve something more classy like lobster, you know,
an animal that scours the sea bottom to eat other animals. Shit.
Well, they are monogamous creatures, though, and they do find lifelong love,
so there is a certain beauty to their alien like exoskeletons. But yeah,
you know, my issue is that if you're gonna serve as shit,
let's course it out a little bit better. Right. It can't just be
chicken and cake, because that's the Even the the chicken was cut was absolutely
insane. It was like he carved off like the outer rim of a chicken
thigh and sat at the top, you know, like when you go to
a Michelin star restaurant or a nice restaurant, you know, and you pay
eighty dollars for some bullshit beef dish they'll carve off. They're not gonna give
you the entire rib cat, They'll they'll carve off a little bit of it,
right, and then spit in your face and then ask you to tip
them. That's what he does with this chicken sat atop yogurt with a frilled
like kind of cucumber curl right next to it, just to let them know
that while this is disgusting peasant food, there is a garnish. So it's
a zero pot dinner. It's a zero pot dinner. Now. Asha wants
to get the dinner away quickly and begins the toga party almost instantaneously. I
don't know what this is. I don't. I do know that someone says,
why did we do this? And I have the same exact question.
You know, this is not a thing at all. We get to the
next morning, Cheese and Joe talk about giving each other horns. I don't
know what that is. Jono is making uebos ranchos, and the ladies are
they've overslept. So what you do after that is you take the eggs off
the tortillas right, and you make new eggs. What you definitely don't do
is put a washcloth over sunnyside up eggs and let them sit out for an
hour and a half and then go here, eat the gummy. Now,
think about this chicken, his peasant food, their offspring. I mean,
I don't know what that is, but it's certainly not great, especially when
it's sitting around for an hour and a half, congealing and wetting itself.
I mean, it's just a bad showing from Jonah. Now, Gigi heads
up to the crow's nest and tell Sandy that she had better food on the
amateur tour, after which she went on to win seventeen titles, many many
of them doubles. But we'll see what happens to Jonah next week. Guys,
we love you so much. We'll see you next week with another episode
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