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Hey. Uh. Meanwhile, Uh, Gail calls her boyfriend. Do you

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remember when Dick Cheney shot his friend
in the face? Yeah? Yeah,

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00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:36,399
see, I thought you were a
bird. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new

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00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:40,359
episode of another below Deck podcast.
My name is Dylan Randham sudded up next

5
00:00:40,359 --> 00:00:44,039
to Patrick Ickey. Permission to come
a board granted? So do you want

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00:00:44,039 --> 00:00:49,759
to say it together? Yeah?
It might be twenty two minute episode of

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00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:57,359
us recapping this. I am I'm
not sure that below Deck knows that they

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00:00:57,439 --> 00:01:00,119
need to pick it the fuck up, you know what I mean? Yeah,

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Like, what are we doing on
this? Resting on our laurels?

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00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:08,000
Shit, nothing's happening right now.
Okay, seems like we've got a lot

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of good things in play though,
Dell, it's just it's the engines haven't

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fired yet. It's a slow first
quarter. But the good news is there

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are like five six quarters and things. Yeah, there's like seventeen of these.

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So before we get into how horrible
this episode was. Zero pods Wow,

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Patreon dot com Slash another podcast network. Great stuff over there. Pat

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talked so much shit about his party
that he threw over the week. I

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threw a music festival in my backyard, and I realized that it basically shined

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a light on some of my personal
relationships. Yeah, you're gonna do a

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friendship audit. I'm gonna do a
friendship on it. You know, like

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when you send an invite out saying
would you like to go to this party,

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and rather than a yes or no
to your invite, they heart the

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message. Yeah, we've talked about
the note, we talked about the non

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commit a language of Los Angeles.
It's a very infuriating language. But yeah,

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00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,319
great episode, Patreon dot com session
another just to plug it. And

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sometimes those people respond with who's going
to be there? A yeah, no

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one. I'll tell you what.
I don't know who's going to be there

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exactly, but I know that you're
going to be put on ice if you

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have any more questions about this.
Okay some people. I have five friends

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that have been put on ice after
this party. And you don't want to

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get put on ice by Patty.
Okay, when you're put on ice by

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Patty, you are. I mean, there's no Hollywood Bowl box seats too,

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there's no big mistake, there's no
dinners, there's no nothing, there's

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no wine country. I shut off
my networking, my complete network of people

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that I don't Well, you're on
ice. So that's what happens, all

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right. We have some lovely sponsors
coming up if you don't want to hear

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00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:52,120
anything about them, Patreon dot com, Slash another party. It's worth the

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money. Uh. You know.
We're also throwing down Flavor of Love season

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three on Bad TV, which you
may be listening to that feed already.

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Some lunatic left us a review on
iTunes this week. Oh really, Yeah,

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00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,960
they think we're better because we're so
funny naturally that we don't need to

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dip into that low quality territory.
To that person, I say, stop

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00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,400
listening. Yeah, Dylan and I
get to have fun, and we have

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a lot of fun recapping Flavor of
Love season three. It's an amazing season

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of television. Yeah, I mean
things happen on that show as opposed to

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this where we just cook chicken and
say it doesn't taste very good. Well,

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chickens for poor people. To be
fair, chicken is for poor people.

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Sandy so wanted to say that it
was implied Sandy that was very inappropriate,

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you know, for high caliber guests
like Gigi. Hey, you know,

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funny thing, Dyl she's not a
high caliber guest. Oh she's not,

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but she's won seventeen major titles.
Hey, dyl, I'm Gigi.

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Let's do roll. Ask me if
I like cakes? Cat, I'm okay,

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I love this. Okay, hey
gg good? How are you?

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Hi? Good? Hi? How
are you hi? I'm high caliber?

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Yeah, you're high caliber? What
does that mean? I'm high caliber?

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I'm important? You're important? Yeah, I'm too good for chicken. It's

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beneath me. Okay, I just
wanted to catch up, and you're throwing

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a lot of shit at the wall
right now. You're saying that you're high

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caliber. It's like a it's like
a weird kind of psychotic hiku you're doing

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right now. Remember the premise of
the bit here though, Ask me if

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I like cake? Well, I
wanted to ask you if you liked cake,

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but you started spouting off all this
insane shit. I got really destroyed.

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I love cake. It brings me
back to my memory after I won

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my fourteenth doubles title. There was
a great cake at that celebration. Yeah,

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cho Crowbart anyway to mention that she's
won seventeen double tennis match well,

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and I think that people who watched
tennis. I don't want to watch a

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lot of tennis, but I think
people that watch tennis know that doubles ain't

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shit, right. I mean,
if you have a doubles title, that's

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fine, but nobody's watching doubles and
and two. And she says she won

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seventeen Grand slams. Not only did
she not win seventeen Grand slams? I

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correct me. If I'm wrong,
that would be the most insane achievement maybe

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in the history of sports. So
she got that wrong. Yeah, she

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got that wrong. You know,
I was wondering who was the double you

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know, because she has mean that
she won almost seventy majors. Wow,

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that'd make her high caliber. You
shouldn't serve that kind of person. That

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would absolutely make her high caliber.
And the thing about high caliber people is

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that they're not on the television show
below Deck. So if you are on

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the TV show below Deck as a
guest, you are instantaneously not high caliber.

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So that good friend of Gigi,
she looked like she played tennis too,

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the one that looks like Elton John
if he was dead for two weeks,

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she's got high caliber. No,
she's not high caliber. And also,

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you know, to say that you
play tennis with Joe Biden's neighbor,

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so nobody knows who the fuck that
is. So it's clearly you played tennis

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with people in his zip code,
is what you're trying to say. Say,

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I disagree once I heard though at
that. Yeah, I was like,

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you can't serve this Parson check and
they're high caliber, high caliber.

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She looks like Elton John if he
was dead for two days. You mentioned

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that. No, I mean you
think about the people who have been on

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this show, the Queen of Verside, Jill Zarin, that cokehead who had

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a law firm that was getting a
lot of hits on SEO. None of

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these people are high caliber people.
Okay, so zero pots. The show

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is not a high caliber show.
Right now, we've got nothing going on.

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And you know, Gigi, if
you're high caliber, if you're really

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high caliber, pick the plate up
off the table and throw it on the

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fucking ground and say I want steak. Okay, that's high caliber. Shit

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Okay, zero zero zero enough of
course, all right, Yeah, I

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kind of pretty much agree with everything
you said. Look, Joe, no,

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he he made his way back in
my good grace. I know when

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someone wrote like, are you guys
microaggressing on purpose calling him Jonah Jonah?

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It's like, no, I it's
johon. Oh sure, Sandy calls him

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Jonah or I don't know. I've
never seen that name before, so give

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me a second. I also don't
care about Jonah, so I give me

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a second. I'll I'll give this
to Jonah Jonah. See when you say

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Jonah, it's a tough name for
me. Okay, we call the two

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other guys on the boat Thing one
and Thing two, So give us a

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break, give us a break.
Yeah, okay, So look, you

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know what you know what a highlight
of the season is is the Balkan Biscuit

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Rally and we will have her as
a guest on for next week. We'll

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be interviewing her. So get into
that Facebook group and I always read your

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questions because I don't want to figure
out what questions to ask. How about

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to take a Balkan biscuit timing cheese? I love it? It's fun,

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good lord, Yeah, it was
fun. That's a fun little duo.

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Yeah. I think they're going to
be ripped apart by Thing two next week.

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I mean, men are just so
disgusting now, It's early in the

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season, but Captain Sandy is already
beginning to falter. She I was thinking

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with the when Nathan in that charter, guess we're just floating out to see

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well imagine, yeah, imagine if
that I forget what kind of boat it

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was that found them and actually catam
right, imagine if that boat wasn't there

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that day. Do those people just
float into infinity and disappear and die?

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Yeah? I think when you get
caught in a rip current, you float

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into infinity and die. I'm pretty
sure is what happens in that you get

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dragged out to the middle of the
ocean and then you can't eat anything or

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drink anything. Yeah. Now,
I know that Sandy was kind of pissed

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at this, but I i she
seed to be more than kind of pissed.

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They could have lost their lives.
Well. Also, you know,

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you need to go apologize to Gi. Why do you need to apologize to

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is nothing? Why do we need
to apologize to Gigi? Pretty important person,

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hike caliber, That's right. I
will give Gigi one thing, one

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part. I'm happy that she went
up to Sandy and she was like,

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the food is absolute dog shit,
because I would have done the same thing.

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Overall, I didn't hate it as
much as you. I still think

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we got a shot at an amazing
season here. I've talked to some of

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the Sea Rats privately, and they've
hinted at that middle of the season where

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it really starts kicking it. So
I'm gonna believe them. And sometimes he's

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the Sea Rats, you can't trust
him, right But anyway, well you

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said sometimes thirty knots. All right? So we pick up with the kind

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of late night clandestine romance between Gail
and the Thing one, and Gail does

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something. Andy Cohen doesn't give a
shit about this show, but if Andy

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Cohen did, she might be killed
for doing what she did. She comes

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out, she's caught by camera men
and she says, I'm not doing anything.

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I'm just going up to get water
or something. Well, they wind

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00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:11,279
a mic her. She lies to
the camera crew. Now, listen,

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00:10:13,759 --> 00:10:16,000
Gail, you're a sea Rat.
You're on a television show. Okay,

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00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:20,840
everything needs to be on camera.
If you're going to go up and you

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00:10:20,879 --> 00:10:24,080
know, get felt up by Thing
one, we need to have a mic

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00:10:24,159 --> 00:10:28,360
on you. Okay, that's just
how it works. You signed a contract.

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I agree with this. Now,
Gail was on that perilous journey to

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hook up with a fellow sea rat, and I respected that, and the

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00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:37,519
cameras, as you pointed out,
catched her in the act. That's the

149
00:10:37,519 --> 00:10:43,879
thwarting the mission. And then Gail
admits to us to having strong feelings for

150
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Nathan despite having that boyfriend or hers, and as you pointed out last week,

151
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,480
Del, some would judge, but
to be fair to her, it

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00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:56,720
has been a day. Yeah.
You know when you you know, when

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00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:03,840
you go into a workplace and you
and an irishman or a Northern Englander who

154
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:09,039
kind of smells and his borderline illiterate, and you fall in love within twenty

155
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:13,759
four hours. I mean, we've
all been there, girl, you know

156
00:11:13,759 --> 00:11:16,840
what I mean. And that's the
thing, like you see, I wish

157
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,840
I knew the name, but somebody
said that Gail looks like Chrissy Teagan if

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00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:31,000
she wasn't completely consumed with bitchiness.
To see that that lovely package and sweet

159
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,200
as a button. You know,
you think everything's you know, you got

160
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:37,279
we got a real, you know, substantive person here. No, she

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00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,879
fell in love with thing one in
twenty four hours. Twenty four hours,

162
00:11:39,919 --> 00:11:43,159
I mean that's a that's that's a
lifetime though, and see rat time,

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00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:50,039
that's true, and it also is
grounds for institutionalized I think it might be

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00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:56,039
I'm trying to manufacture something for this
right now because I I I'm on fumes.

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00:11:56,159 --> 00:11:58,960
Yeah, okay, look I understand
that. Look look I'm sorry.

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00:12:00,039 --> 00:12:03,960
If Galeen thing one are listening,
I apologize. I'm not a cynical about

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00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,879
these types of relationships as you are, Dylan, And I learned this in

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00:12:07,919 --> 00:12:09,519
college, you know, when I
used to have to fly to college back

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00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:15,879
and forth. Cynical as I am
about these relationships. Oh maybe I am,

170
00:12:15,919 --> 00:12:18,279
but but I see you definitely are
well get this. So I'm leaving

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00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:24,879
Massachusetts Logan Airport to go out to
college for Christmas break and uh, I

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00:12:24,919 --> 00:12:28,639
see this girl and this guy and
she's this girl's crying, she's got does

173
00:12:28,639 --> 00:12:33,200
that wrap around leg thing like I
love you mom, crying. There she

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00:12:33,279 --> 00:12:37,200
gets on that goddamn plane. It's
like a five an hour half hour flight.

175
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:37,960
You know, I'm not really paying
attention to anything. You know,

176
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,679
we got off a couple of blankets, and no, she's leaving the guy.

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00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,759
She's leaving the guy. You know, the breaking up or she's got

178
00:12:43,799 --> 00:12:48,399
to move across this whatever. Anyway, a guy that picks her up at

179
00:12:48,399 --> 00:12:52,799
the airport. This is before you
know, nine to eleven, right,

180
00:12:52,919 --> 00:12:54,080
right, so you got to see
people meet each other. At the gate,

181
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,960
she meets another guy, she jumps
up, does the full lake around,

182
00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,519
starts making out them, tells him
she loves you know. Interesting thing

183
00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:05,039
about nine to eleven, Donald Rumsfeld
evidently said that there was two point three

184
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:09,279
trillion dollars missing in the Pentagon on
it and then, you know, believe

185
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:15,240
it or not, that part of
the Pentagon gets wiped out. We have

186
00:13:15,399 --> 00:13:18,159
one camera angle of it. You
can't really see what's going on. And

187
00:13:18,159 --> 00:13:20,279
people go, oh, well,
it's two thousand and one. There's not

188
00:13:20,279 --> 00:13:26,240
a lot of cameras around. It's
the Pentagon, Okay, It's the heart

189
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,799
and soul of our country because at
the end of the day, our country

190
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:37,000
is a colonialist. Hey. Next
morning, yeah, next morning, everyone's

191
00:13:37,039 --> 00:13:43,159
hungover. The next morning is one
gigantic fucking jungle book. Meanwhile, that's

192
00:13:43,159 --> 00:13:46,799
all. The next morning is well, one main meanwhile stuck out to me.

193
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,960
And that's when Sandy gets on that
goddamn phone and she fires that fucking

194
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,840
production that provision provision. Yeah,
yeah, she fired. Now she lets

195
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:56,919
us know, Hey, normally I
she's a three strikes type of manager,

196
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,960
you know, but in this case, you know, they were so bad

197
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,039
and it's a one strike and they're
fired. I think she has a poor

198
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:07,879
memory. This company definitely earned three
strikes, especially when they told her that

199
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:13,080
they'd be able to get that wine
to her five hours after the charter ended.

200
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,679
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, they had eight strikes at least.

201
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:22,960
And you know, Sandy was a
baseball coach. You know. Let's

202
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:28,279
say she's coaching the Baltimore Orioles,
right and somebody strikes out. They're on

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their way back to the batter's box, and she comes out onto the field,

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you know, says to the ump, you know, I need a

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seck. She puts her arm around
him. She says, listen, you're

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not gonna be perfect every day.
I want you to turn around. I

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want you to get back out there, and I want you to try to

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hit the ball again. And he's
been around. He'd go back to the

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plate and people would go, that's
not how this works, right, he

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can't keep batting, And Sandy would
say, you know, this is the

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issue with the world that we live
in. You know, it's not that

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you need three strikes. They've they've
they've see Sandy is she exists in a

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world of sea ra You need more
strikes than three when you're existing in a

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world with sea rats. Okay,
we're not in the normal world, right,

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I mean normally you. I mean
take Doug Allen for example, Doug

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Allen has a Doug Allen has a
private bathroom on lot Oh. Yeah,

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that guy came in there and he
took a shit, and I was like,

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that guy's fired. One strike.
You take a shit in Doug Allen's

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00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:26,799
and that's Hollywood, right, Quentin
Tarantino, you didn't. You don't pull

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focus on one frame. You're gone. That's it. That's it. One

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strike. But Quentin Tarantino is working
with professionals, and Sandy is working with

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psychologically wounded TGI Friday's waiters. Okay, anyways, sorry for that fucking baseball

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00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:48,279
analogy. I mean, what was
I even talking about? How about that

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00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,440
Donald Runsfeld jag? You went on, what do you mean? Hey?

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Meanwhile, uh, Gail calls her
boyfriend. Do you remember when Dick Cheney

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shot his friend in the face.
Yeah, See, I thought you were

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a bird. That's crazy. Hey, I think he's dead. I got

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00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:22,120
him. I thought you were the
biggest foul i'd ever seen. Oddly colored.

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That guy had something on me.
Oh absolutely. They're at dinner.

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They're eating I don't know, and
he's talking about how much money Haliburton's made

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over the past couple of years,
and the guy goes, you know,

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I think the oversight committee would have
some things to say about that. Hey,

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you want to go hunting tomorrow?
Yeah? All right, all right,

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can I do it? Meanwhile?
All right, Gail calls her boyfriend

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and she mentions that it was a
long night, you know, crazy drunkenness.

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She was out that part where she
was trying to fuck a co worker

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in the boss. I don't know
if we're going to bang. I mean

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there's tight quarters, there's a kind
of there are brooms and very sharp objects

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00:17:07,039 --> 00:17:08,119
all over the place. So I
don't know that you can really have sex

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in a place like that, But
if anybody could, it'd be a couple

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00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:15,920
of sea rats. That's right now, dyll. I was thinking about this,

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00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,680
you know, because I've been on
the other end of this kind of

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00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:22,000
infidelity thing. You know, you
think someone loves you the next thing you

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00:17:22,039 --> 00:17:25,000
find out, you know there was
someone else. Well, you've also been

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00:17:25,039 --> 00:17:26,680
on the other other end of the
infidelity. Oh, that's right, that's

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00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:30,680
true. That's true. Well,
you know, sometimes it's the location of

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00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,200
the indiscretion that's the really hurtful part. Right, you did it a Marshalls,

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00:17:37,759 --> 00:17:41,720
Well he was my manager, Todd. Yeah, you fucked your boss

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00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,759
in a janitous closet. Yeah,
that hurts. Yeah. Were there mops

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00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:48,720
there? Yeah? Oh my god, yeah, we kind of used them.

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00:17:48,759 --> 00:17:56,000
It was like pilates you you had
sex on a bail of hay.

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00:17:56,480 --> 00:18:04,680
Well, Thomas, I work at
a zoo. Yuah, petting zoo and

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petting zoos are pretty out in the
open, you know, there's not a

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00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:14,319
lot of tucked corners, you know, so that realistically is like, you

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00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:18,440
know, you had sex at a
farmer's market in front of a bunch of

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people on a bail of hay and
got arrested for it. You know,

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that's what that would be. That
really hurts. Yeah, that's the part.

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00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,400
Yeah, that's the part that hurts. I knew you were probably not

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00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,400
being faith for that really sticks.
All right, maybe it will be a

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00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,279
little bit well, I don't know, should we just I don't know,

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00:18:33,319 --> 00:18:36,200
what do you want to do?
Do you want to just stop talking about

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00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,559
the show, just end the show. We've got a couple of sponsors we

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00:18:37,599 --> 00:18:41,079
have to get to. So the
boat says, hey, let's give it

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00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:45,519
a hundred cement today. This guy
I don't know about this guy Ian.

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00:18:45,839 --> 00:18:52,000
Yeah, he says. The producer
say, what could you possibly be talking

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00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:56,039
about one hundred cement? And he
says, it's like yes, it's like

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00:18:56,079 --> 00:18:59,240
saying yes, but with more letters. And it's also like saying one hundred

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00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:07,559
percent with less letters. It's just
an insane thing to do. Hundred cement.

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00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:12,400
Yeah, you know, that's like, you know the kind of ick

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00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:17,759
you get it like leadership conferences when
people say shit you're like, oh my

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00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:22,519
god. Yeah, I remember the
first time a manager broke down the ass

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00:19:22,559 --> 00:19:26,119
you me thing, m h yeah, that was pretty stupid. I was

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00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:30,279
like, oh, but I gotta
get out. Yeah, I'm gonna need

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00:19:30,319 --> 00:19:33,960
to be on pharmaceuticals if I continue
to work here, and they're bad for

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00:19:33,079 --> 00:19:40,160
you. So Ellie and She's have
a chat about laundry and then Ellie times

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00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,880
her on bed making. Now you
know, a she's got a lot of

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00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:48,079
shit going on. She's got a
bunch, she's got to deal with the

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00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:51,920
guests, she's got to talk about
feces, she's got a you know,

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00:19:52,039 --> 00:19:56,440
she's very busy. So Ellie kind
of takes the role of, you know,

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00:19:56,519 --> 00:20:00,960
the shaggy to the scoop. We
do that is cheese and it's it's

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00:20:02,039 --> 00:20:04,480
quite a lovely relationship. It is
beautiful. Although I think there is some

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00:20:04,559 --> 00:20:11,359
pushback from Brie because I think the
ball can Biscuit at some point says hey,

283
00:20:11,599 --> 00:20:15,480
you might want to write shit down, yeah, and then Brie appears

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00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,599
to be pretty arrogant about that suggestion. And then Ellie takes Brie and she

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00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:23,960
compares her to a baby giraffe that
can barely walk. Uh huh. I'm

286
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,599
okay with that analogy, but it
should be a twenty four year old baby

287
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:36,400
giraffe that doesn't know what announces,
who had her laundry picked up, and

288
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,960
that is a very privileged giraffe.
I mean, most giraffes don't even wear

289
00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:45,000
clothes. So it's time to get
to the meeting, the meeting that we

290
00:20:45,039 --> 00:20:51,799
shout about. It's time to get
to the braft frag shape man. So

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00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:56,720
we're getting that complete fucking lunatic again. By the way, they're struggling to

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00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,400
find people to show up on these
boats. I'm telling you, dude,

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00:20:59,599 --> 00:21:06,920
it's it's really I think that I'm
worried a little bit about the show because

294
00:21:07,319 --> 00:21:11,519
they need to find a different kind
of clean tell Okay, so let's do

295
00:21:11,559 --> 00:21:14,839
a pitch here, Dale, because
look, there's nothing to talk about.

296
00:21:14,839 --> 00:21:17,640
This episode was so shit. Okay, Hey, Bravo, producers, I

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00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,759
know you listen or the cast,
talk to whoever you need to do in

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00:21:19,799 --> 00:21:23,480
casting. Dylan and I will come
on, we'll bring our wives, and

299
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,039
this will be the premise. This
will be the fun part. Dylan and

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00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:30,039
I are podcasters that talk about the
show, but Captain Sandy doesn't know.

301
00:21:30,599 --> 00:21:34,000
And then she'll later find out,
like one day into the cruise, we'll

302
00:21:34,039 --> 00:21:37,119
have a scene with her listening to
me talking about what an idiot she is.

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00:21:37,519 --> 00:21:41,519
She's gonna become incensed and pissed,
right, and then she's gonna wonder

304
00:21:41,559 --> 00:21:44,440
how she needs to deal with it, and then she's going to confront me.

305
00:21:44,839 --> 00:21:48,359
Okay. It's wonderful television, all
right, Okay, and will be

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00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,400
amazing guests. I don't want to
pay anything, just so you know no,

307
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,799
but if you want to have Dylan
and I on, we'll bring our

308
00:21:52,799 --> 00:21:59,240
wives and maybe two other friends yep, and will be great guests and we'll

309
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:03,759
be very entertained. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'll tell you what though,

310
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:11,039
you know, it shouldn't be understated
that what these people are served for

311
00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:18,880
dinner is chicken and cake. Okay, And I'll tell you what. If

312
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,599
I'm served chicken and cake and Bravo
bites on this, they say let's have

313
00:22:22,599 --> 00:22:30,039
the podcasters on. I mean,
it's gonna turn into a fucking it's gonna

314
00:22:30,039 --> 00:22:33,400
turn into a WWE thing. I
mean, make sure the chairs aren't expensive,

315
00:22:33,599 --> 00:22:41,680
because they're gonna get broken chicken and
cake. They're served chicken and cake.

316
00:22:41,039 --> 00:22:49,200
That's their entire meal. Did you
just get back from a fucking all

317
00:22:49,279 --> 00:22:53,559
right, we're gonna get there.
Yeah, but that's absolutely nuts. Yeah

318
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:56,119
ye. Well, anyway, they're
gonna want lots of courses in the preference

319
00:22:56,160 --> 00:23:03,839
sheets, so of course one course, Heydyl did I did they mentioned that

320
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:10,359
Gigi? Ah, she's a famous
tennis player. Yeah, Sandy's like,

321
00:23:10,599 --> 00:23:17,279
you know, the power of lesbians
is really powerful. That was great podcasting

322
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:30,559
right there. To have your sexuality
overcome the fact that the other person is

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00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,599
just a completely deplorable, disgusting piece
of shit. The way that Gigi is

324
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:41,640
is really something because when Sandy is
pulling out last season and Gigi says,

325
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:45,960
is it stressful? Is it like
being its center court at Wimbledon? So

326
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:53,680
that right there is a disqualifying sentence. Not only should she never speak to

327
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:59,279
her again, but in my kind
of draconian utopia, what some would consider

328
00:23:59,319 --> 00:24:03,440
a nightmare, Gigi should be jailed
for that that sentence for at least I'm

329
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:07,079
not talking about a long time,
but maybe a night now. As my

330
00:24:07,559 --> 00:24:11,359
mother in law would say, she's
a sad woman. My mother in law's

331
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:17,119
black. I was okay, she
did that one time. We were at

332
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:21,079
some wedding and she just saw this
woman dancing around trying to get the attention

333
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,759
to men. She turned to me
like whispering, she that is a sad

334
00:24:22,799 --> 00:24:30,359
woman. Patrick, Yeah, I
don't know. Yeah, your mother in

335
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:34,799
law is Michael Jackson. She sounds
like sometimes. Yeah. So Jono says

336
00:24:34,839 --> 00:24:40,319
that he still feels more like a
designer than a chef, and you know

337
00:24:41,039 --> 00:24:45,799
you spoke about it. I and
Sandy highlights it later in the episode where

338
00:24:45,839 --> 00:24:48,240
she says that I was really blown
away with what he did with so little,

339
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,400
but to see what he does with
so much, which, again,

340
00:24:52,440 --> 00:25:00,160
let me remind the audience's chicken and
cake is pretty horrified. And I all

341
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,680
into the same trap that Sandy fell
into. I was like, I don't

342
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:10,240
think this guy's gonna get fired.
I'm starting to realize that not only will

343
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,599
he not be good enough to do
this, I think that he's just going

344
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,559
to be very like, don't want
to do it, don't want to do

345
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:22,839
it, I'm out of here.
Fuck this, I don't want to do

346
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:29,519
it. He might sap, Yeah, just like be really like, I

347
00:25:29,519 --> 00:25:33,680
don't want to use to charged homophobic
language or you know, but maybe just

348
00:25:33,839 --> 00:25:38,599
be caddy about it and just be
completely over it, you know what I

349
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:42,400
mean. Well, it's better than
getting fired. And I'm not saying that

350
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,720
that would be homophobic. I'm just
saying that it could be interpreted as that.

351
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:49,119
But you know, he you see, he can get a little a

352
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:55,119
little caddy about stuff. I mean, you know, so Gail head butts

353
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:59,079
something and then we get to frozen
cucumber booze smoothies. They look like vomit.

354
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:03,920
Welcome aboard, miss we have to
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that got stuck on those those waiter
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No, no, not the catamaran
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405
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406
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407
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408
00:30:00,839 --> 00:30:03,880
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409
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410
00:30:10,119 --> 00:30:15,599
That's Body Smartfitness dot Com. Wow, I'm signing up today. So let's

411
00:30:15,599 --> 00:30:18,720
get back to the show. Oh
yeah, Can I talk about gg Yeah?

412
00:30:18,759 --> 00:30:21,480
All right. So they get the
tour right, that's the guests arrive,

413
00:30:21,559 --> 00:30:26,599
they drink those horrible cucumber cucumber cocktails. Then Gigi proceeds to be that

414
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:30,400
annoying person that talks to you while
you're working. I really despise this.

415
00:30:30,599 --> 00:30:33,400
Yeah. She watches Sandy, you
know, try and navigate out of that

416
00:30:33,519 --> 00:30:36,759
doc and notes, uh, you
know, Sandy, when you love something,

417
00:30:36,759 --> 00:30:38,759
you do you uh, you never
work a day in your life.

418
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,559
Yea, if I'm her, if
I'm Captain Santfay, excuse me, gg

419
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,480
I, do you mind shutting the
fuck up? Because I could smash this

420
00:30:45,559 --> 00:30:49,359
fucking thing into another vessel and then
we'd all be dead. We'd all be

421
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:53,279
dead after that. But honestly,
will you go fall find a fucking wall

422
00:30:53,319 --> 00:30:57,200
to stare at? Yeah? Please, please, please, so listen.

423
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:04,000
They get aboard the vessel that they're
drinking these disgusting drinks, and one of

424
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,599
the primaries says that she plays tennis
with Biden's neighbor. We mentioned it.

425
00:31:07,599 --> 00:31:11,400
It's just it looks like Elton John
if he's dead for two days. So

426
00:31:11,039 --> 00:31:15,440
Thing two, Thing two gives us
some sea rat history. Oh really,

427
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:19,920
you're gonna call this sea rat history? Huh? Is it my turn?

428
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:25,240
All right? So this is Joe. He's Thing one. Oh, he's

429
00:31:25,279 --> 00:31:29,160
thing too, all right. Well, apparently his grandfather was Italian and he

430
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:34,119
didn't like tattoos. Was he in
the mob? And did al Capone have

431
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,680
him gunned down on a sidewalk,
because if not, I don't know why

432
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:44,839
the fuck you're talking about it.
Zero minus zero, it's not even a

433
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:49,319
no, this doesn't count. Do
we have any farewell to arms kind of

434
00:31:49,319 --> 00:31:52,680
thing here? Do we have any
tragedy? Do we have any yeah,

435
00:31:52,759 --> 00:31:56,359
as you mentioned Cosinostra, any harm, any blood, well I even mentioned

436
00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:00,119
he's Italian, any marrow at all. It's just an awful see write history.

437
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:04,440
So let's get to lunch lunches,
fish tacos, also gluten free veggie

438
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:07,640
tacos, and spicy rice, which
we got the recipe for. Well,

439
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:12,519
apparently his plan is to burn the
guess assholes. The spicy rice is rice

440
00:32:12,559 --> 00:32:15,799
with garlic powder, paprika, cardamom, and chili powder. I don't know

441
00:32:15,839 --> 00:32:19,200
why we have this recipe. I
don't know why we're shown this recipe.

442
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,519
It was one of those bizarre things
where I'm pretty convinced that the people who

443
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:28,880
edit these shows have catatonic meltdowns and
they just do things. I I am

444
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,960
with you, but I also think
it's when they can't stand someone when they're

445
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:37,359
doing this now them leaning towards we
can't stand this guy. Yeah, I

446
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:42,839
love that. I love that.
So Cheese they hate it. They hate

447
00:32:42,839 --> 00:32:50,839
it. It's disgusting. It tastes
like cardamom. It's gross. Okay,

448
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:54,000
So Cheese is improving and she's found
that, you know, the power of

449
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:58,480
writing things down, something that many
folks have leaned on for betterment. We

450
00:32:58,559 --> 00:33:00,200
get the water toys and we talk
about music festivals. I mean, can

451
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:04,720
we get the show going? So
Wimbledon gets on a jet ski and a

452
00:33:04,759 --> 00:33:07,519
friend says she's good at everything she
does. These are the kinds of people

453
00:33:07,559 --> 00:33:13,480
that Gigi surrounds herself with. They
are kiss asses and listen. I don't

454
00:33:13,519 --> 00:33:17,079
want to downplay Gigi's accomplishment. Okay, it's it's incredible. She's a professional

455
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:22,440
athlete. She's accomplished a lot in
life, but nothing that would even come

456
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:28,720
close to you behaving the way that
you do. So Asha has a check

457
00:33:28,759 --> 00:33:31,960
in with Scott and says that Sandy's
friend Gigi won seventeen Grand Slam. She

458
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,119
also said that she wants Scott to
be a sea rat. You know that

459
00:33:36,279 --> 00:33:43,599
song that Ryan Gosling sang in Blue
Valentine, You always heard the ones you

460
00:33:43,759 --> 00:33:46,240
love. You know. It's a
cover of like you know, an old

461
00:33:46,279 --> 00:33:52,440
timey song. It's so true.
Asha, do not try to make Scott

462
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,359
a sea rat. Okay, it
will be the end of you and him

463
00:33:55,599 --> 00:34:00,359
and him now you want him in
the woods with just raccoons bucket okay,

464
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:04,920
because he gets a little taste of
freedom on these yachts, it'd be a

465
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,799
different guy. Well, I don't
know about that, but I just think

466
00:34:07,839 --> 00:34:12,519
that people are genuinely and generally pretty
unhappy when they're shackled to the interior of

467
00:34:12,559 --> 00:34:15,840
a boat for however many weeks.
These people are shackled to the interior of

468
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:20,360
about four But he is happy.
He has a place in Breckinridge. There's

469
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,679
outside, he can walk around,
he has agency, and he's not chained

470
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:29,199
to a boat. So thing one
in Laura head out for a little paddle

471
00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:36,559
boarding. They are saved by a
catamaran and Nathan Nope, Ian is the

472
00:34:36,599 --> 00:34:40,280
one that is to blame for this. Now he's pissed because he thought three

473
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:45,320
on deck would be enough. And
now we've slipped into a one flew over

474
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:52,360
the Cuckoo's Nest kind of complex with
Ian, where Ian is experiencing amnesia on

475
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:57,519
the fly, right, it's cover
your own ass amnesia. He's talking about

476
00:34:57,559 --> 00:35:05,239
how he but it's really it's this
weird kind of delusion where he knows what

477
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,599
he did, but he's kind of
fabricating this reality where it's not his fault

478
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:15,320
and that it's Gail's fault, even
though she was eating and calling her boyfriend

479
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,760
that she's gonna cheat on tomorrow night
because she's in love with thing too.

480
00:35:19,199 --> 00:35:22,519
Well yeah, well, I mean
she has moved on, but to be

481
00:35:22,559 --> 00:35:25,760
fair, it has been twenty four
hours. Yeah, but yeah, you

482
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:30,320
caught the Gail reminds us that he
did break her right, yeah, mention

483
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:31,719
that. Okay, Yeah, so
Ian is starting to lose it. It's

484
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:36,320
episode three. Some of these boastins
that are only able if they're incompetent,

485
00:35:36,599 --> 00:35:42,159
they can sometimes fool you for a
few few charters. Then the foundation will

486
00:35:42,199 --> 00:35:45,920
begin to crack. And I believe
that's happening here now, Dyll you pointed

487
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:52,039
this out at the top of the
podcast. For some reason, Sandy finds

488
00:35:52,079 --> 00:36:00,079
the need to have Ian apologize to
Gigi for this. I'll be Gigi,

489
00:36:00,079 --> 00:36:04,719
I apologize to me. Okay,
Hey, Gigi, you know I won

490
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:13,480
seventeen doubles titles. Wow, that's
that's crazy. I just wanted to say

491
00:36:13,679 --> 00:36:17,280
that I'm sorry. I'm the Boston
of the boat and it's my responsibility to

492
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:22,679
look over the rest of the crew. Because I looked over that net.

493
00:36:23,079 --> 00:36:31,119
That was probably my fourteenth title.
Okay, you see, the thing is

494
00:36:31,119 --> 00:36:35,039
is that it's my responsibility because,
you know, just to let you in

495
00:36:35,079 --> 00:36:38,039
on a little trade secret, everyone
that works on this boat is a drunk

496
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:47,199
or a drug addict, so it's
up to me to keep them corralled,

497
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:51,840
you know, and your friend could
a loss of life and for that,

498
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:58,000
I'm sorry. Thanks for sharing.
So Ellie compares herself to a Lamborghini and

499
00:36:58,079 --> 00:37:00,480
cheese to a Mazda. Very brutal. I genuinely don't know what the fuck

500
00:37:00,519 --> 00:37:05,320
happens before dinner. Ah yeah,
sure, Jonoh apologizes to Allie. That's

501
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,480
one thing that's true. That was
pretty That was pretty nice of him.

502
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:13,519
And then Ian reminds his team to
always observe guests to make sure they don't

503
00:37:13,559 --> 00:37:19,000
die. Yeah yeah. And then
uh, let's see here, Oh yeah

504
00:37:19,039 --> 00:37:22,360
that Mazda comparison Mazda with no wheels, definitely yeah. And then the water

505
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:27,679
slide gets pulled in and that's when
Ian once again begins to be a dick

506
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:32,360
because he's frustrated, and both the
things and Gail note when he's upset about

507
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:36,639
something he's not going his way,
he starts, uh, he starts to

508
00:37:36,639 --> 00:37:38,559
get a little yippie. It's right. Yeah, So we get to dinner.

509
00:37:38,639 --> 00:37:43,039
None of the studs are in uniform, and then dinner is served.

510
00:37:43,039 --> 00:37:45,760
Now Sandy's gonna be helping out with
the service. It's going to be white

511
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:51,199
glove. Now, if you know
that all the chef has prepared his chicken

512
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:57,239
and cake, take the gloves off, because it's just going to be even

513
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:00,559
more ridiculous. I mean, this
is essentially like a Mister Show sketch at

514
00:38:00,599 --> 00:38:07,440
this point, Like you you cannot
be putting on white gloves to serve chicken

515
00:38:07,519 --> 00:38:12,440
and then cake. Yeah, well, probably a bad analogy. We used

516
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,360
to cover The Bachelor and a date
would in and there'd be a curtain there

517
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,840
and like, hey, I have
another surprise for you. You know a

518
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:22,280
lot of pop and circumstances for it. The curtain would open. It would

519
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,760
be some country singer that no one's
ever heard of, a real disappointment or

520
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:30,000
yeah, Yeah, like a Z
way before a Z way was z one.

521
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,599
I'm saying the build up makes it
even more painful, right, Yeah,

522
00:38:32,639 --> 00:38:36,480
so definitely take the gloves off because
it's pathetic, you know. I

523
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,280
mean it's like, let's say you're
at a burger king, right and somebody's

524
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:47,119
picking at their heroin wounds next to
you. Let's move on. So the

525
00:38:47,199 --> 00:38:54,760
first, of course, is poor
person's protein chicken with some kind of setzeki

526
00:38:54,840 --> 00:39:01,800
sauce and okay, yeah, I
just I was laughing because it's five star

527
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:07,000
service, and I was reminded that
the Queen of Versailles or her douchebag husband

528
00:39:07,119 --> 00:39:13,000
whatever said chicken was for poor people. Now, Asha's confused because Asia comes

529
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:17,599
when she eats, so for to
hear these women just as quiet as a

530
00:39:17,599 --> 00:39:24,920
field mouse, she's a little concerned. And I say she comes when she

531
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:30,960
eats, because we saw a flashback
of her moaning with every single bike.

532
00:39:30,559 --> 00:39:37,400
So next up is a cake that
is a ripped up cake with sorbet and

533
00:39:37,599 --> 00:39:43,000
olive oil kind of crudely sprayed all
over the plate, kind of like a

534
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:50,840
money shot, and there's some kind
of pink sprinkle. It's on a gold

535
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:59,719
rimmed plate. I mean, if
you picked a street walker, I don't

536
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:05,280
want to continue. Yeah, I
was gonna say, after that chicken entree,

537
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:10,760
I thought the deconstructed sponge cake would
wow them. But yeah, even

538
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:15,239
when it looks like dead Elm John
thinks it sucks. Yeah she does.

539
00:40:15,639 --> 00:40:19,000
Yeah, she says it could be
more chocolatey. Yeah, you know,

540
00:40:19,039 --> 00:40:22,159
I was thinking with Captain Sandy,
referring to the chicken is not good for

541
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:28,239
you know, people of this caliber, because you know, Gigi's traveled and

542
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:32,880
won those seventeen double tennis titles deserve
something more classy like lobster, you know,

543
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:37,000
an animal that scours the sea bottom
to eat other animals. Shit.

544
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:39,559
Well, they are monogamous creatures,
though, and they do find lifelong love,

545
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:46,440
so there is a certain beauty to
their alien like exoskeletons. But yeah,

546
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:51,519
you know, my issue is that
if you're gonna serve as shit,

547
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,559
let's course it out a little bit
better. Right. It can't just be

548
00:40:54,639 --> 00:41:00,679
chicken and cake, because that's the
Even the the chicken was cut was absolutely

549
00:41:00,679 --> 00:41:05,800
insane. It was like he carved
off like the outer rim of a chicken

550
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:07,760
thigh and sat at the top,
you know, like when you go to

551
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:13,280
a Michelin star restaurant or a nice
restaurant, you know, and you pay

552
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:17,079
eighty dollars for some bullshit beef dish
they'll carve off. They're not gonna give

553
00:41:17,079 --> 00:41:21,159
you the entire rib cat, They'll
they'll carve off a little bit of it,

554
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:22,719
right, and then spit in your
face and then ask you to tip

555
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:30,039
them. That's what he does with
this chicken sat atop yogurt with a frilled

556
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:34,920
like kind of cucumber curl right next
to it, just to let them know

557
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:39,400
that while this is disgusting peasant food, there is a garnish. So it's

558
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:44,880
a zero pot dinner. It's a
zero pot dinner. Now. Asha wants

559
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:50,920
to get the dinner away quickly and
begins the toga party almost instantaneously. I

560
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:57,039
don't know what this is. I
don't. I do know that someone says,

561
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,840
why did we do this? And
I have the same exact question.

562
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,480
You know, this is not a
thing at all. We get to the

563
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:07,079
next morning, Cheese and Joe talk
about giving each other horns. I don't

564
00:42:07,119 --> 00:42:13,039
know what that is. Jono is
making uebos ranchos, and the ladies are

565
00:42:13,679 --> 00:42:19,239
they've overslept. So what you do
after that is you take the eggs off

566
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:23,079
the tortillas right, and you make
new eggs. What you definitely don't do

567
00:42:23,519 --> 00:42:29,599
is put a washcloth over sunnyside up
eggs and let them sit out for an

568
00:42:29,599 --> 00:42:32,960
hour and a half and then go
here, eat the gummy. Now,

569
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:42,000
think about this chicken, his peasant
food, their offspring. I mean,

570
00:42:42,039 --> 00:42:45,000
I don't know what that is,
but it's certainly not great, especially when

571
00:42:45,039 --> 00:42:50,400
it's sitting around for an hour and
a half, congealing and wetting itself.

572
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,639
I mean, it's just a bad
showing from Jonah. Now, Gigi heads

573
00:42:54,679 --> 00:43:00,280
up to the crow's nest and tell
Sandy that she had better food on the

574
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:07,159
amateur tour, after which she went
on to win seventeen titles, many many

575
00:43:07,199 --> 00:43:09,199
of them doubles. But we'll see
what happens to Jonah next week. Guys,

576
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:14,320
we love you so much. We'll
see you next week with another episode

577
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,199
five stars kind Words. Join us
to Patreon, dot com, slash another

578
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:21,559
podcast network, Instagram at another below
deck podcast. We love you guys very

579
00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:22,559
much. I'm doing say goodbye,
pat Say goodbye. W